All I could think about when it came time to assemble lunch today was the sunflower seed and walnut pesto I made last night. It simply had to make an appearance this afternoon.
I bring you a pesto chicken salad of sorts!
In the bowl:
- Shredded chicken breast
- Chopped carrot
- Chopped celery
- Sunflower seed and walnut pesto
Plus a perfectly crisp and sweet apple on the side.
Now it’s time to take you back in time with me and embarrass myself along the way…
My Embarrassing CPR Story
This afternoon I am taking a CPR/AED certification course that is required by NASM if I hope to receive my personal training certification. Oddly enough, I am looking forward to the class.
When I used to be certified when I was a lifeguard, I liked feeling like I could help someone in case an emergency situation arose. We’ve all heard stories about people whose lives were saved by a stranger who administered CPR or the Heimlich maneuver and knowing that I might be able to help someone in need was a pretty cool thing, though I obviously hoped I’d never actually need to use it.
At the pool where I worked in the summer as a lifeguard during high school (Birchwood Pool, for any Palatine people out there), lifeguards would randomly get audited by an outside company to test their knowledge and make sure they knew their stuff.
We never knew when the auditors were going to come to the pool. They would blend in with the patrons while examining your lifeguarding skills before selecting a small handful of guards to demonstrate CPR skills on a mannequin.
Guess who got selected during her first year? You betcha.
I was so, so nervous. While I knew my stuff, the pressure stressed me out and I was scared I’d mess up on something incredibly basic. Of course, I did.
The auditor began quizzing me on administering CPR to an infant. I shouted at the mannequin baby and lightly shook it, checking for movement. Mannequin baby wasn’t breathing. It was go time.
I told the auditor that it was time to administer CPR and he asked me how I knew where to put my fingers on the infant to begin the chest compressions.
My reply?
“First, locate the scrotum.”
I heard snickers and giggles from the fellow lifegards.
“The what?”
“The scrotum”
Serious laughter… And then it clicked.
“OH MY GOSH. The STERNUM. The STERNUM. Locate the sternum! NOT the scrotum!”
Complete humiliation.
In the lifeguard break room there was a quote board. Can you guess what quote made it into the number one spot and remained there for the rest of the summer?
“First, locate the scrotum.”
Let’s just hope my experience at today’s class goes a little more smoothly…
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You should put a disclaimer on this post. Will laugh out loud upon reading even if you are in the office “working” 🙂
That is the BEST story! Thanks for sharing!
Haha, god that’s too much. I hate those situations when you get so nervous and mess up, my daily life story. Good luck with the class!
Birchwood lifeguards, REPRESENT!! I got audited my second year and had to perform CPR on the auditor’s son!! The son then told his mom what I did right and wrong it was pretty intimidating since this kid was only like 7 and I was 16…totally schooled when I didn’t tilt the head back far enough 🙂
BAHAHAHA. Best story ever!!! Love this!!
So I was trying to be discreet and read this at work…but I just burst out laughing and my boss wants to know what I’m laughing at…greaaaaat! Good story!
OMG, that is too funny!!! You definitely brightened my afternoon. Thanks! 🙂
omg. i’m completely cracking up at my desk! buahahahaha. i would’ve died.
lol that’s too funny!
Love it!!!!! Hilarious! 🙂
Oh my goodness Julie..that is really funny! Sorry that happened to you but very funny!! I have a similar one but not as embarrasing since I was much younger.
One year at the Passover Seder I was finally sitting with the adults! I was also excited to participate in the Seder by being allowed to read a passage from the prayer book. The line read:
“And then God revealed himself to his people”
only I read
“And then God relieved himself on his people.”
I was SO embarrased as everyone laughed at me. I was concentrating so hard not to make a mistake that I was quickly reading the sentences while scanning ahead of see what was coming next and I totally botched it. It was a running family joke for years.
Oh Julie! This story is the best and totally brought me back to that summer (when I was still a lowly PA!) Surprisingly, I had to use my Heimlich skills on my mom last summer – it worked! I immediately thought back to our Monday night inservices and was soooooooooo happy we “took them so seriously” ;-)! Anyways, enjoy the CPR training and remember: STERNUM! 🙂
That’s hilarious!! When I was a kid my mom took my brother and I out for ice cream. She ordered herself a vanilla cone with Reese Penis butter cups in it by accident– she was mortified!!! The kid behind the counter said, “Huh, Freudian slip?” We still tease her about that every time we have ice cream! 🙂
Oh my gosh! You made my day with that story! So funny!
Great story! I’m sure that made for an a very lively CPR class lol 🙂
That is HILARIOUS! I literally laughed out loud at work, such a great story 🙂
HAHAHAHA that’s amazing!! Especially love that you repeated it twice before realizing! Classic
Haha great story! Not your fault those words are almost identical!
hahahah oh my gosh!! i’m sorry to laugh, but that is SO funny!
OK, that was wonderful. I would have died on the spot, but I will totally admit that I keep laughing reading it.
I always seem to mess up under pressure, not one of my strong points unfortunately!
Hahahaha, thank you for the LAUGH I needed that! 🙂
i know this is the goofiest comment, but your cut apples always look so perfect and delectable! how do you cut them? do you use an awesome knife?
HAHA I was thinking the SAME thing. Glad someone else said it 🙂
hahaha! LOVE this story. When I was younger, I accidentally said “I was in the fertile position” instead of “fetal”. Everyone laughed at me, I was beyond embarrassed since I was in middle school and everything is embarrassing.
on the pesto note…i am so not a couponer but i love Melanie’s blog and recalled her talking about the same dilemma and also using sunflower seeds as a substitute….here’s her post w/ her recipe at the end: http://www.thecoupongoddess.com/2012/04/sunflower-seed-pesto.html
Oh my jeeeeeez! That’s awesome, Julie. I bet your heart fell into your butt when you said that out loud! Especially in HIGH SCHOOL DAYS! OH MY GOD!
I loved working at the pool, you just brought me right back to the good ole’ days of lifeguarding!
hahaha i love that story
Amazing…hahaha, too funny!
Oh my goodness. I love it. Also, that is so totally stressful. I am a healthcare professional and I think I would freak out if I knew people were on the prowl and could ask me CPR questions at any given time 🙂
your lunch looks great! 🙂 good luck today!!
that story is so funny…thanks for the smile!
Your story is super funny and totally something that would happen to ME! 🙂
I bet you made someone’s day today, so it’s ok, right? 🙂
Hahaoh goodness! that sounds like something I would say for sure! haha All you can do is laugh it off i guess!
Laughed out loud– but definitely out of love… It’s something that I could see playing out in my life!
Took CPR/AED about 5 years ago…. way over due for an update. Hope it went well 🙂
More LOLing here. 🙂
I had though TOUGHEST day at work today and your story made me laugh! Thanks, Julie!
Tears…streaming down my face right now from this. Awesome.
That is hilarious and so something I would do!
Hilarious! …but, at least you didn’t actually try to locate the scrotum 😉
LOL This literally made me laugh out loud. I used to be an EMT and can’t remember ever having to locate the scrotum in any of my CPR classes lol
This is my mom’s embarassing story: She used to work for a National program that certified Paralegals. She ran the Rochester, NY location at a local college. Many local lawyers would come in an guest lecture for some of the classes. Well, at one of the graduations, my mom had to speak and thank a lot of people. She was thanking the guest lawyers for coming in and giving their time “pro bono” (which if people don’t know means they do it for free) Luckily, for us, someone was videotaping the graduation and my mother had to re-live over and over the part where she thanked them for giving their time….”pro boner”. LOL This was probably 20 years ago and we were actually just talking about it again this past weekend. 100’s of people burst out laughing,..poor mom lol
Whoooo shout out from Northern Illinois!!!
Great story!
I laughed out loud for a minute on this one.
I have to be certified every year or 2? I loose track but I HATE fake CPR’ing a manequin because it’s so far from real life it’s awkward and totally stresses me out! Lol so I feel your “locate the scrotum pain”.
Oh my goodness…too funny!!
ahhahahahaahhahhahahahahahaahha that just made my day
I just fell in love with you a little more!
Your CPR story is hilarious and amazing at the same time. I think I’ve told at least 5 people about it, and laugh hysterically each time….it’s the little things! 🙂