Today was one of those days that I just didn’t feel like high-intensity exercise. I wanted to sweat and do something good for my body, but a workout at the gym sounded less than appealing.
After I typed up my morning blog post, I changed and headed out to a local yoga studio to take a hot power yoga class. Stretching and flowing seemed like the perfect way to kick off the week and I’m so glad I went.
Today’s class was one of the more challenging yoga classes I’ve experienced, but not because we did anything out of the box. My shoulders felt weaker than usual and my quads started shaking during the first warrior pose we did. I don’t think the class was more difficult than usual, but my body wasn’t responding to the class the way it usually does and I struggled through the 60 minute class. But I left dripping in sweat and feeling happy!
During the class, I thought about the message Ryan and I took away from yesterday’s church service. Our pastor spoke about happiness and how our happiness doesn’t come from our happenings. He reiterated this point time and time again throughout the service. “Don’t allow your happenings to determine your happiness.” (If you would like to watch the service, click this link. The message begins at 12:15 in the video Brave – Part 8.)
Of course what happens in our life can impact the way we feel, but challenging and unfortunate events will happen every single day and they don’t have to turn us into someone mean and bitter. We can still be kind, friendly and happy even if things in our life are challenging us. We can still uplift others and exercise compassion. Happiness comes from within us. It’s something we can choose to be and it’s up to us to feel happy.
He encouraged us not to play the “If only… then…” game when it comes to feeling happy. “If only I got that promotion, then I’d be happy.” “If only my spouse did x, y and z… then I’d be happy.” “If only I made more money, then I’d be happy.” “If only my kids wouldn’t x, y and z… then I’d be happy.” I think that’s a game we’ve all played a time or two!
By playing the “If only… then…” game, we’re postponing our happiness and waiting for something to happen to make us feel happy that may actually never happen. Why not feel happy today and let that feeling come from within? Then it’s in our control. (This reminds me a lot of the Changing “Yes But” to “Yes And” post I previously shared.)
Our pastor joked that when your boss or spouse says something that irks you, it’s okay to feel annoyed and think to yourself, “This does not bless me, but I am blessed,” or, “This does not make me happy, but I am happy.” That statement made everyone laugh and Ryan and I pulled it out several times yesterday when little things came up that bothered us or didn’t go our way. I think it’s a great statement to fall-back on – sort of like an affirmation I can use to remind myself that even though upsetting things occur in my life, I am happy and I am blessed.
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Questions of the Afternoon
- Do you consider yourself a happy person? Is your happiness something you have to put effort into maintaining?
- What are some of the ways you lift yourself up when you’re feeling unhappy?
I feel like I am a happy person by nature, but I have to put effort into letting go of negative events that occur in my life. I have a hard time brushing things off and not dwelling on challenging events. When I’m feeling unhappy, my go-to unhappiness killers are Ryan and Sadie. Ryan has a way of talking to me that makes me feel instantly at ease and Sadie’s cuddles and puppy kisses never fail to make me smile.
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This is something I’m really working on right now, since money is extra tight at the moment and it’s hard not to stress out about it! I really believe that happiness has nothing to do with money, so I’m making it my goal to remember what your pastor so eloquently described!
Thank you for publishing this, it truly inspired me. I graduated from college in May and am still searching for a job. Some days I get really discouraged and it seems like everyone is getting hired before me, but I am going to try and put things into perspective and find happiness in my current situation. It’s so important to stop and smell the roses and be thankful for what you have. Thanks Julie!
What a good message for today. It is so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that way! I love the swap-a-roo “yes, and”. Thanks for sharing.
That’s a great message! It’s easy to get bogged down in the negative, so that’s a great suggestion to remember that you’re blessed, happy even when something doesn’t make you feel blessed or happy at that time. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for posting that sermon. It is something I need to remember on a daily basis!
Thank you for sharing your pastor’s message. I’ve been reading your blog for a while. I also have a blog and wrote about my church and Sunday’s message this weekend too: http://fitnessfullcircle.blogspot.com/2013/09/words-i-love-them.html. It must have been a great weekend for great messages! 🙂
I am totally like you in that it is difficult for me to let go of unhappy happenings. I have been working on not letting that affect my attitude toward others and my overall happiness. Talking to my brother, mom, or dad is definitely such a great help and a blessing. Prayer and meditation also does wonders.
those are such great reminders. i firmly believe we are in charge of our own happiness as well. it’s a mentality and is something each of us needs to make a decision to be every morning when we wake up. thanks julie!
Hi Julie,
I just wanted to let you know this post really made me smile. I’ve definitely thought about the topic of happiness a lot and even though I am an extremely happy person, I sometimes tend to dwell on bad things that have happened to me in the past. I will definitely try your pastor’s tactic out!
Tina
Thank you! What a great reminder and extremely good advice. I just recently heard a friend with young kids talk about teaching children about their emotions and how, especially as kids emotions are so new to them and sometimes so big that they can easily be overwhelmed by whatever emotion they’re having (I think this applies to adults too, though), to teach them that emotions are like horses is very helpful. If you don’t lovingly learn to be in control of them, and ride them, they will trample you. I thought that was a good image to have. Both good reminders that the stressful, hurtful, frustrating, etc. experiences come and go, but if you have a foundation of happiness underlying those things, they can’t define your day or your life!
I love that message! It’s something that I definitely need to remind myself of everyday when things don’t go my way or work gets under my skin. Thank you for sharing!