I’ve had numerous requests to write a blog post about how my Lenten resolution to forgo sweets from Ash Wednesday until Easter affected my body and my mind.
First I must clarify that I did not give up sugar or all sweet treats. I simply gave up sweets, which I defined as anything I would normally consider dessert.
I think giving up sugar all together would have been extremely difficult. Sure, it wasn’t fun to have to pass on the gourmet desserts at Ryan’s special awards banquet and I didn’t enjoy saying no to cupcakes and birthday treats at work on occasion, but, for the most part, it wasn’t so bad.
For me, the key was making substitutions when I really wanted dessert. When I was craving ice cream or frozen yogurt, I made smoothies and pseudo ice cream.
When I wanted cookies, I made granola bars or coconut granola.
As I’ve addressed before, I was shocked that my body seemed to crave salty and buttery treats when I gave up sweets. I wanted endless amounts of movie theater-style popcorn, chips, nuts and peanut butter (though that’s not exactly unusual).
And now for the most commonly asked question: Did I lose any weight?
Nope.
I didn’t do this challenge to lose any weight and, low and behold, my weight stayed basically the same.
For me, my lack of weight loss during Lent further reiterated a few things for me.
First, the occasional dessert won’t kill you. Eating a big bowl of ice cream or a few cookies isn’t going to make you blow up like a balloon. I feel like I maintain a relatively healthy diet and I try to stay active, which leaves me some wiggle room and allows me to enjoy rich desserts and sweet treats sometimes.
I’m not saying I’m going to sit down and eat half of a cake every night after dinner, but I’m also not going to turn down my husband when he asks if I want to go out for some frozen yogurt or order our favorite hot fudge sundae.
To be totally honest, the hardest part about giving up dessert was dealing with other people.
- “Why aren’t you eating dessert?”
- “Why would you want to give up sweets?”
- “Oh please. You can have one cupcake. It won’t kill you.”
The eye rolling, the judging… it’s kind of ridiculous how much some people seem to care what other people eat.
This used to be something that really bothered me. I would feel insecure in these situations… especially when “food pushers” practically shove food down your throat after you’ve politely declined.
Fortunately I now feel much more secure about simply saying “No thank you, I’m fine,” without feeling the need to justify my lack of desire to indulge in rich food at every opportunity.
Sure I felt a little awkward and it wasn’t fun explaining why I gave up sweets every few days, but it made me appreciate the people who supported me and understood my decision even more. I also started to care less and less about the opinions of those who didn’t understand and tried to make me feel self conscious and uncomfortable about my Lenten resolution.
This may sounds like an odd parallel, but it also gave me a greater respect for vegetarians and vegans who likely deal with the opinions and snide comments of people regularly. It takes a lot to stand by something you believe when others may not understand, and I greatly admire those of you out there who have made commitments to certain diets in the name of something you whole-heartedly believe in.
So all that being said… Would I do it again? Sure! But I might make it a bit harder or clarify my boundaries more going into Lent because I almost felt like I was bending the rules a bit with some of my substitutions. Still, I made it and the ice cream I ate for breakfast yesterday tasted fantastic.
Questions of the Afternoon
- Have you ever felt judged for what you eat or choose not to eat?
- Does it bother you when someone questions your personal eating habits? How do you respond?
![\"Quantcast\"/](\"//pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-1e3-7hOJ_U8Bg.gif\")
Congrats on making it the whole time! I get remarks about my vegetarian meals all the time or weird looks at my food. Some people are just curious, and I love telling what I eat and why I’m a vegetarian. Others are just rude and try to get me to try meat when I’ve made it clear I do not want to. It bugs me when people are rude and won’t listen to my reasons for being a vegetarian. If they’re gonna argue for eating meat, they should at least listen to my side of it!
Julie,
I too gave up sweets, or more so “desserts” for lent! I was SO excited when I read that you had decided to give up the same things. I found it odd that both of craved salty foods and peanut butter by the pounds…. AND I didn’t lose any weight either. I totally gorged yesterday in sweets, and although they tasted fantastic, today I have noticed that my desire for sweets has decreased. Has the same happened for you?? Congratulations on your lenten journey, I am excited to read what you give up next year!
When I just started dieting last year, all of my coworkers give me crap when I bring out a salad or when I don’t constantly order fast-food for lunch. I think part of it is they want everyone to do it so they can convince themselves its ok. When I’m the only one eating a healthy meal from home, they are more aware of their bad decision. I had plenty of angry moments when a “food pusher” would make me feel bad or would tell me I was starving myself. It’s so frustrating, but screw them, you see results for a reason and are healthy because of it. I just hope over time, maybe it can influence their own food decisions!
Good job Julie!
I challenged myself to go Vegan for about 6 months. It was great, I felt great, but oh em gee it was soooo annoying to have to explain myself practically every day (it almost I was arguing/fighting w/ others). Exactly like you said … why do you care? Why do I feel like I have to defend my choices? It’s MY body!
I tried to be polite by not only kindly refusing, but offering/bringing my own dishes to events. I 100% agree with you though, it’s the PEOPLE who made it hard. Now I consider myself “veganish” as I don’t eat animal products daily, but will do so every now and then… but… who cares??!!
Kudos Julie!
Awesome post Julie!
I find food-pushers the worst! :p
I gave up my faaaavorite black tea (orange pekoe to be exact) for lent and this morning had my first cup in 40 days and it felt GLORIOUS! 🙂 During Lent I mostly drank green tea and took quite a liking to it.
I think its good to practice giving something up every once in a while… I realized that I relied way too much on the caffeine in the black tea (green tea doesn’t keep me as awake, not in the least!).
Great post!
This is one of my favorite posts yet! I can totally relate … and you’re such a great writer! 🙂
Food-pushers are the WORST. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves. I would never pressure someone to eat something, or even question their decision. It simply doesn’t matter! I get mocked a lot for my eating habits and it drives me crazy. Just because I’d rather have my turkey sandwich over some greasy fast food shouldn’t be an issue! Exclamation point! 🙂 I’m trying to not let comments get to me but sometimes my sensitivity gets the best of me … eating healthy shouldn’t be a bad thing, ya know? I don’t restrict myself, but I have a wedding coming up in June and just want to be in the best shape of my life … my coworkers mock me about stuff all the time; like for having veggies or fruit as a snack. Is that so bad? I don’t think so! Haha 🙂
I think my venting session is about done now 🙂 Again, great post … loved it!
OK I just had to comment again and say I really need to work on limiting my happy faces … hahahaha 🙂 My last post is decked out with yellow faces everywhere! #embarrassing
I know exactly how you feel about being questioned on your eating choices. A lot of people just don’t seem to understand why you eat certain foods or why you don’t eat others. The irony of it is that people can criticize healthy eating habits but god forbid you question all the junk they eat… 🙁
I actually catch more flack about how often I change what I eat/do not eat than the actual changes themselves. Even when I ate meat, I had a laundry list of foods that I refused to touch, but I slowly began eating them (zucchini, eggplant, etc.) Next came the switch to vegetarian…then the phasing out of almost all dairy…then the reintroduction of dairy…all that craziness! I’m almost afraid to mention that I’m slowly trying to phase out most of the dairy that I eat (yet again) because it’ll just add more comments!
I completely know what you’re talking about…it makes me feel so uncomfortable when I’m eating somewhere and my food choice, whether it’s choosing veggies, politely declining dessert, or even when those are flip-flopped, stirs up someone I’m with and I get those same comments that are really just rude…We only get one body in this life and my mantra is usually “is this taking care of my body right now?” I want to feel good about what/how I eat, and like someone said in a comment above, it’s unfortunately typically people who are insecure about their own personal eating habits that make impolite comments.
Good for you for making a choice for YOU and your body, Julie!
Loved this post, Julie! I’ve been vegetarian for at least 7 years now, and, at times, I have been vegan and mostly raw. The hardest part, as you said, is the fuss people make over what you are putting in your mouth. Bad or good fuss, it used to make me feel extra uncomfortable when eating at a restaurant or worst, a work function. I’ve even had members of my own family completely embarrass me/harass me at family parties. Not to mention, as a smaller-framed girl (5’2″), declaring I was a veggie just increased the amount of food pushers and the like making me crazy. It’s like Katy said, healthy eating doesn’t need to go hand in hand with weight loss/dieting/disordered eating. Who wouldn’t want fewer sick days, sustained energy, a great completion and a perfect weight for them while still enjoying delicousness? Ok, rant over! 🙂
I love this post! Especially when you talk about the former insecurities you had when people would judge your for passing on food.
People judge all the time. When I pass on a food, they think I am hardcore dieting – or restricting my food. Perhaps I just do not want what is being served – maybe I am just not hungry.
I eat a pretty clean diet – and often people mistake that for something else. I appreciate your words very much. Congrats on making it through the 40 days – and helping us all see that the occasional delectable dessert will not ruin a healthy lifestyle!
This year I went a couple of months without any sugar at all because of a health issue…I agree it is pretty difficult to do at first, but I found that it got SO easy after my cravings wore off. It’s crazy how incredibly addictive sugar is. Once I got over my addiction, I stopped wanting it. I’d totally recommend to anyone that they try going ZERO sugar for at least a month or two sometime…especially since it seems like studies are increasingly showing how damaging sugar is to our health, and meanwhile americans are eating over a 100 pounds of it a year (compared to 5 pounds about a century ago!!)
Anyway, just wanted to share my experience. Great post Julie 🙂
I gave up meat for Lent and it was more annoying dealing with people than giving it up. I would get asked, “what will you do for protein”, “that’s super unhealthy”, etc. I sometimes feel like discussing how/what you eat is more a taboo topic than religion. People judge you if you eat organic because they think you’re trying to be rich or stuck up. It’s not that I’m a food snob, but I think it’s odd that if you want to know where your Tyson chicken came from and call them, you aren’t allowed access(I tried this once). That just creeps me out, what are you hiding in there? I don’t sit in front of Burger King or Wendy’s and ask why they would rather spend $1 on a burger than $1 on a lb of quinoa! I will step off my soap box now.
People are just rude in general, but I think it comes more from insecurity than ignorance. I think most of the time it isn’t so much they are judging what you are eating but are feeling insecure that you may be judging what they eat. Since you declined “desserts”, they may feel that you think they are “fat” since they did not. People should just worry about themselves. If you want carrots, eat carrots….if you want a big fat juicy burger (like I always do)…..dig in.
Ughhhhhh I know exactly how you feel! I always would feel so awkward when people would question why I am not eating a dessert or why Im eating a healthy salad instead of pizza, but then I just learned that its ‘my choice’ my life, and this is how I eat, I do not let other peoples judgements get to me anymore !
I sooooooo agree on the treats, I eat healthy and am active as well, and throwing down some coldstone ice cream is never a problem for me ; )
I think many of us agree and have felt the same way at some point. I am not a vegeterian or vegan, I simply choose to eat healthy and smart. I hate hearing the comments “well if i ate like that id be skinny too” blabber. Well then do it!!! I think majority of it does come from insecurities and can definitely make me feel selfconscious for trying to be good to my body. People shouldnt have to explain why they arent gorging on desserts or “only having a small piece”.
I’m a veggie and we constantttlyy get judged for our choices in food. People just don’t understand our feelings most of the time, and reading this post by you made me feel really happy knowing there’s at least one understanding omnivore out there haha 😉 I literally had to make an FAQ on my blog because I would get questioned why I’m a vegetarian so often…I’ve truly never understood why people feel the need to judge others on what they put into their bodies or what they choose not to put into it. As long as it’s not hurting you, what does it matter? Right?! That’s GREAT that you stuck through with this though and never gave in to temptation or the meanies haha 🙂
I think you did amazingly well! I can’t believe you even attempted it let alone stuck with it, not because I didn’t think you could do it….but because I could never do it! I would hate to have to explain to people why I wasn’t eating dessert, it really creates an insecurity.
Way to go on making it all the way to Lent without “sweets!” Even with your substitutions, it still takes quite a lot of willpower to do that…I don’t think I could 🙁
I gave up sweets/dessert for Lent too and I was completely judged for it by one of my friends, who thought I was backsliding into bad habits or something. I wasn’t using it to lose weight, nor was I using it because I thought it would make me healthy. I gave up chocolate/sweets/dessert for Lent becuase it was honestly very hard for me to do and since I have a sweet thing every single day, it was something I felt COULD be given up for Lent. The whole idea is to give up something that you like, something you feel like would be a hard thing to go without for forty days. And last night I swan dove into my Cadbury Mini-Eggs cache, gleeful that I had survived 40 days!
Great post!
Yeah I understand how you feel about this.
Questions about food can be embarrassing, and you don’t really kno what to answer, and you can grow tired of justifying yourself. But you have a sane relation to food, and you’re not obsessed with weight, which is, I think, truly valuable!
I have to admit, I’ve done this before. When I was insecure about MY weight and eating habits, I would often comment on other people’s food choices instead…so now when people do the same to me, especially since I’m a vegan, I’m *slightly* more understanding!
LOVE this post!! You are such a great writer Julie!! 🙂
Awesome reflections, Julie!
Unfortunately, there are quite a few “food pushers” out there who, for some reason or another, fee it’s their business to intrude on what you eat. Even though I don’t follow any sort of restrictive diets, I’ve certainly been in situations where my attempt at foregoing a sweet treat greets me with highly unpleasant stares and comments. I remember buying a cookie one time from a craft fair and the woman said, “Well you certainly must not be buying that for yourself. You obviously don’t eat sweets.”
Really? REALLY? Obviously, she didn’t know me. 😉
*And by “fee” I obviously mean *feel…GAH!
Congratulations on making it through Lent sweets-free, Julie! I completely understand how difficult that is! I’m sorry you had to deal with all the food/dessert-harpies during the time. I have been a vegetarian for over a year now, and I honestly am met with rude comments several times a week. I firmly believe people should spend less time obsessing over what you decide to eat/not eat and instead utilize that time admiring your willpower and judgment over your healthy choices. Perhaps trying the same for their own diets. Congratulations again and happy early birthday!
Great post! and awesome job on giving up sweets!
I find others judging and commenting is the toughest part about trying to eat healthy. I try to eat clean for the health benefits, not to lose weight or anything, but I find that’s the assumption everyone makes when you turn something down. It’s very frustrating to me, so it was great to see others experience the same thing.
i totally understand!!! i’m not fat/overweight by any means, but i would like to lose a few pounds for my wedding day….trying to avoid snacks at the office has been tough. especially when food pushers offer and offer and even just leave it on your desk….and especially because, i have very little will power resisting treats!!!
I really liked this post. I have to say, I do not choose to eat vegan/vegetarian but I have friends who do and it really surprises me the judgement they get. I think you’re right, it’s not just Lent or veggie lovas…it’s eating habits in general. Maybe I’m just more open minded than I thought but I don’t really understand why people care first of all, second…how it’s any of their business, and third…how they can justify that the way whoever eats is any worse or better than the way they do. You don’t knowwww me! (insert head roll here) haha! I get frustrated when I have people asking me at lunch why I’m eating a salad and soup because I’m so skinny and that I need to eat more. Umm…excuse me? Just because I’m not overweight doesn’t mean I’m healthy. I don’t judge my health off of my appearences…I judge it by how I feel. Generally, when I eat healthier & excercise…I feel better throughout the day. I’ve had people actually say they don’t think I would look good if I lost any weight. Not that it matters or it’s important but I’m 130lbs and I’m 5’4….I don’t think that’s bad at all, but I also know it’s not a healthy weight for ME so I don’t have any problem losing weight should I happen to in the process. I say whatevs…you should be proud of yourself for sticking with it, you should be proud of yourself for choosing to participate in the first place. As for being able to say no or being comfortable saying no when you’ve been offered food – I had to learn the hard way….my boyfriend’s Mom LOVES to give me lots and lots of food. Over the years I have just learned how to say no thank you in a very polite ….stern….way haha. Hope you had a nice Easter!
omgosh I’m so embarrassed….that comment is so long! lol, next time I’ll just send you an email *sigh* geesh…
I’ve been looking forward to hearing you reflections of your dessert less Lent. Great post!
It’s always surprising how much people really do seem to care about what you eat or don’t eat.
I’ve actually had the hardest time when it comes to alcohol. For the most part I’ll eat anything, and it’s rare that I’ll diet. But when I’m in serious training mode I like to cut back (or completely cut out) alcohol for a certain amount of time. I can’t explain how many people will try to shove drinks and shots down my throat! In fact, if you want free drinks or shots — tell people you aren’t drinking that night. All the sudden everyone really wants you to drink!
But seriously, it can be really hard, especially when it’s even pushed by your friends and family, to give up something like sweets, certain foods or alcohol.
So that said, I give you major credit for getting through Lent without sweets, and surviving all the food pushers! 🙂
Awesome post, and totally relatable. I definitely feel defensive sometimes when someone questions my eating…and why am I eating so healthy, am I trying to lose weight?
However a lot of comments I receive (mostly from my boyfriend’s grandma ;)) are about how much I am able to eat! She will say “Oh, I’ve never seen anyone as much as Lindsey!”
Ah well, I’m an eater, and I’m proud 😉
WAY TO GO, JULES!! 🙂
Giving up sweets is not an easy thing to do, and I’m proud of you for hanging in there for those 40 days! I can totally relate to this post, as I try to stick to a healthy diet and “say no” to sweets, white carbs, and junk food (otherwise, they fuel my “addiction” to these foods and I crave them more & more). This plan may not work for everyone, but it works for me and helps keep me on the right track while maintaining a healthy body and mindset. However, people often comment on what I eat (“You eat too healthy”) or get on to me for not indulging in pizza or desserts. It used to bother me a lot (and still does to an extent), but I’ve learned to stand my ground and stick up for my healthy lifestyle. After all, it works for me, and that’s enough of a reason to stick to it! Those other people will just have to deal with it!
I hear ya girl!
It almost feels like they want YOU to indulge simply so that they can get justification for THEIR OWN indulgences, doesn’t it? That’s always how it comes off to me- I doubt that it’s 100% concern for my lifestyle.
I totally agree!
Your post reminded me of an article I read the other day on CNN (http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/04/22/weight.loss.anita.mills/index.html) The thing in the article that shocked me was that the doctor told this woman one of the 4 keys to losing weight was to not tell anyone what she was doing. After reading lots of weight loss tips that tell you to share your goals with everyone to help reinforce them, this article really made me think. I think your blog post reinforced the concept behind this tip that there are 2 types of reactions that you can get to changing your habits, supportive and not so supportive. It is sad to think there can be so many people out there wanting to sabotage your weight loss goals. Anyways, congratulations on meeting your goal through Lent!
I can definitely relate- not with cutting out anything for lent- but living day to day 100% gluten free and receiving snide remarks. I personally don’t feel like i’m eating any differently than before I realized it was poison to my body and making me sick.
A year out I STILL have people saying ‘oh a little bit won’t hurt you’ or as my ex used to argue with me and say that I was blowing it way out of proportion and am too serious about it and need to live. Even my mother still makes comments occasionally. But what people don’t realize is that the little bit WILL hurt me. It is MY health and this is a life long thing that I have to deal with. I chose to say no thanks to gluten because I wasn’t living before.
p.s. I tried the cauliflower pizza crust and LOVED it!!
I get the “WHY?!?!” in regards to being a pescetarian, ALL the time. I finally realized that there is absolutely zero point in trying to explain my beliefs regarding factory farming to somebody who simply does not share the same beliefs. I won’t change their opinion just like they won’t change mine.
The other one I get ALL the time is “but fish suffer too!” Yes, I do agree, but as somebody who has Lupus (which manifests as arthritis, among a variety of other ways) I have made the decision to allow fish back into my diet because of the effects that fish has on my joints. Vegetable sources of the same EFAs simply do not have the same effect on my joints. However, I still receive criticism for it.
In any case, good on you for making it through. 🙂
very interesting post! Oh yeah~~I definitely get criticized in some way everyday from friends or family. Granted, my friends aren’t as harsh b/c they know I’m healthy b/c of it and sometimes get curious. But my family thinks I eat weird unhealthily and unsustainably just b/c they’re not used to it.
However!! I think they see the benefits in it and aren’t so scared to try my foods anymore! They actually like it very much. My sis is trying to be healthier and I get to make her food all the time and she loves what I prepare for her!!
When people say something to me, I just take it as “they’re just not aware of the benefits and the amazing flavors one can get with wholesome food” and instead of being down, I offer them some. Once they try it and like it, they’re not so shy about it. 🙂
I find it very annoying that people focus so much on what you’re eating. Even though I indulged a bit in foods I dont normally eat over Easter, I still had relative asking me hey I wasn’t eating or if that was all I was going to have. I shouldn’t have to explain my eating choices to everyone, nor do I understand why everyone cares so much. I suppose some peope feel hurt if you don’t eat what they’ve made but they shouldn’t!
My family is the worst about judging me on what I eat. Specifically if they think I did not eat enough. The portion size has gotten ridiculous! I try to base my eating habits off when I am full. When I gave up sweets two years ago for lent the same thing happened to me. People were the hardest part about it. I hated all the judging and the questions. Good for you for being so strong and inspiring!
As always a well said post!
I recently posted on food commentors and was shocked at how many people deal with this. why is healthy eating such a bad thing?
I get judged all the time for the fact I don’t eat sugar, flour, breads or pastas or most grains. It’s a personal choice that makes me feel great about myself but i get funny looks all the time and told i look great so why dont i “cheat” i actually find that its the overweight friends I have that have the biggest problems with it and don’t support my choices.
Great post Julie! I can relate…especially in family situations which really confuses me because we’re a close knit, loving family. Why would they question my decision to turn down a dessert or take a smaller helping at dinner? But they do. Last week I went to dinner with a bunch of librarians (like me!) and I was so proud that I stuck to my decision of what to eat before I got to the restaurant. I ordered a small salad and a small plate of lamb lettuce wraps. Even when others offered to share some of their meal and then dessert (so nice!!) I was happy to refuse without any explanation as to why. It’s much easier to do with a group of people I don’t really know than when I’m with family.
Those food pushers make me feel so uncomfortable. I don’t think I could do that to someone else, it just makes the situation awkward! And I can sort of sympathize with you for the giving up sweets for lent. I did not give up sweets, but I gave up one of my addictions – candy. I used to have licorice and gummy bears every.single.day. I gave them up for lent, and I no longer even crave them! Probably until they are in front of me…. but I’ve found so many amazing substitutes for little pieces of candy, so I’m happy that I got rid of that addiction! I don’t know how you went without froyo though; it’s one of my food groups 😉
Love this post! I also don’t like when I have other people forcing food down my throat – which happens a lot with sweets…It’s like they want someone to eat the sweet with them so they don’t feel guilty taking it themselves. It seems like it’s always someone’s birthday at work or we are celebrating something so there are always sweets floating around. Just last week I said no to some birthday ice cream because I had just eaten lunch and half the people in the room started to ask me why I wasn’t eating any and pushing it on me.
People comment on what I eat all the time, especially in business settings (!). There are few health conscious individuals in our industry, and they all comment on my vegetables all the time.
My response? “I’m well aware of what I am eating.”
I completely understand! I am vegan and the “food pushers” are very difficult to deal with. Sometimes it is awkward to have to discuss why I eat the way I eat. Sometimes I just simply get tired of explaining it over and over. As the years have progressed, I am more and more comfortable with my choice, but I have been amazed at how many people seem to care about what I eat. Being in an office environment was the worst of all- there was always food!
“The eye rolling, the judging… it’s kind of ridiculous how much some people seem to care what other people eat.”
AMEN!! Wow – I’m not a fan of people commenting on my eating habits or making remarks when I pass up a slice of pizza (even though I JUST had lunch at my cube – sigh). I try to take it in stride but it’s definitely a pet peeve!
I wish I could be better at saying no to the food pushers. I’m hoping that reading this post will help. There is a woman in my office that will not eat her sweets if you don’t eat them with her so you end up eating a Snickers so she can have some licorice. It is completly ridiculous and makes me feel uncomfortable but if you politely say no she whines and cries until you eventually give in (this is how working with her is as well). Hopefully after today I can start saying no and just leaving.
I’m a vegetarian and so I’ve definitely dealt with them “food-pushers”. Also when I had to deal with people when I had to take Ensure. I used to feel like I had to eat 3 times the amount I needed just to stop the glances, and I ended up feeling even more stress about eating out.
Now I ignore the glances, and make the people doing the commenting, feel like a nosy git! 😛
People shouldn’t be so preoccupied with what others eat.