I’ve had numerous requests to write a blog post about how my Lenten resolution to forgo sweets from Ash Wednesday until Easter affected my body and my mind.
First I must clarify that I did not give up sugar or all sweet treats. I simply gave up sweets, which I defined as anything I would normally consider dessert.
I think giving up sugar all together would have been extremely difficult. Sure, it wasn’t fun to have to pass on the gourmet desserts at Ryan’s special awards banquet and I didn’t enjoy saying no to cupcakes and birthday treats at work on occasion, but, for the most part, it wasn’t so bad.
For me, the key was making substitutions when I really wanted dessert. When I was craving ice cream or frozen yogurt, I made smoothies and pseudo ice cream.
When I wanted cookies, I made granola bars or coconut granola.
As I’ve addressed before, I was shocked that my body seemed to crave salty and buttery treats when I gave up sweets. I wanted endless amounts of movie theater-style popcorn, chips, nuts and peanut butter (though that’s not exactly unusual).
And now for the most commonly asked question: Did I lose any weight?
Nope.
I didn’t do this challenge to lose any weight and, low and behold, my weight stayed basically the same.
For me, my lack of weight loss during Lent further reiterated a few things for me.
First, the occasional dessert won’t kill you. Eating a big bowl of ice cream or a few cookies isn’t going to make you blow up like a balloon. I feel like I maintain a relatively healthy diet and I try to stay active, which leaves me some wiggle room and allows me to enjoy rich desserts and sweet treats sometimes.
I’m not saying I’m going to sit down and eat half of a cake every night after dinner, but I’m also not going to turn down my husband when he asks if I want to go out for some frozen yogurt or order our favorite hot fudge sundae.
To be totally honest, the hardest part about giving up dessert was dealing with other people.
- “Why aren’t you eating dessert?”
- “Why would you want to give up sweets?”
- “Oh please. You can have one cupcake. It won’t kill you.”
The eye rolling, the judging… it’s kind of ridiculous how much some people seem to care what other people eat.
This used to be something that really bothered me. I would feel insecure in these situations… especially when “food pushers” practically shove food down your throat after you’ve politely declined.
Fortunately I now feel much more secure about simply saying “No thank you, I’m fine,” without feeling the need to justify my lack of desire to indulge in rich food at every opportunity.
Sure I felt a little awkward and it wasn’t fun explaining why I gave up sweets every few days, but it made me appreciate the people who supported me and understood my decision even more. I also started to care less and less about the opinions of those who didn’t understand and tried to make me feel self conscious and uncomfortable about my Lenten resolution.
This may sounds like an odd parallel, but it also gave me a greater respect for vegetarians and vegans who likely deal with the opinions and snide comments of people regularly. It takes a lot to stand by something you believe when others may not understand, and I greatly admire those of you out there who have made commitments to certain diets in the name of something you whole-heartedly believe in.
So all that being said… Would I do it again? Sure! But I might make it a bit harder or clarify my boundaries more going into Lent because I almost felt like I was bending the rules a bit with some of my substitutions. Still, I made it and the ice cream I ate for breakfast yesterday tasted fantastic.
Questions of the Afternoon
- Have you ever felt judged for what you eat or choose not to eat?
- Does it bother you when someone questions your personal eating habits? How do you respond?
![\"Quantcast\"/](\"//pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-1e3-7hOJ_U8Bg.gif\")
I feel judged for my eating habits on a daily basis. I don’t understand why others care that I prefer to fuel my body with healthy foods. Sure, I occasionally enjoy to endulge with some ice cream or cake but why should it matter what I choose to eat. It is my body! 🙂 It does bother me when others question my eating habits. I try to just brush it off or justify the reasons why I have chosen to eat the things that I do.
Oh yeah, I definitely feel judged about eating at times. I usually have a very healthy appetite, and have pretty much no issues with food (it seems many girls have issues even if they don’t have an eating disorder). While I am pretty healthy, I won’t deny myself fatty or sweet foods if I want them, and I can put back large (in other people’s definition of the term) portions of foods, though I listen to my hunger/fullness pretty well most of the time. But people always seem to like to make comments when I eat “large” portions or admit to loving fast food (in moderation). Personally, I find it strange that anyone would not like fast food (and in turn judge them for being pretentious!).
I’m getting pretty good at seeing others’ judgments as reflections of their own insecurities, or nosiness, or whatever. And not caring so much what others’ think and say.
I love this post. I’ve been vegetarian for ten years and while most people are very nice and polite, I have definitely been interrogated several times. The rudest comment was someone who said “Well, for every animal you don’t eat, I’ll eat two. So you might as well give up.”
I was also very skinny in high school and I had friends who were well-meaning, but constantly commented on my weight and what I was eating. It was really annoying and it made me upset because I would never tell them to eat less or lose weight, but they thought it was ok to tell me to eat more and gain weight. I think that most (but not all) people mean well, but people should learn to be less nosy and not judge other people’s diets and personal decisions.
I gave up sweets last year for lent and people would always ask me the SAME annoying questions… the feeling is actually very similar to the questions I get about being a vegetarian… people just don’t understand I guess!
CONGRATS on a successful lent though – I hope you enjoyed all the sweets in the world yesterday! 🙂
I played collegiate soccer for the 4 years and I started to make changes regarding my eating habits my sophmore year and thats when the pestering started. I was on a team with girls who did not eat well whatsoever. Some had to have mountain dew for breakfast, before a game, after a game, and then for dessert! I also get it from my family. . I grew up in family that received all their nutrients (my mom made sure of it!) but enjoyed sweets and soda as well. I get teased at a lot of family occasions for how I eat. . but then they later come to me for advice concerning nutrition and exercise! When I was playing soccer it did bug me but now I am glad and proud that I maintain a healthy lifestyle. . and enjoy sweets here and there. . Like you I try to get most of my sweets from more nutritious foods.
p.s. I tried your 40 minute treadmill work out today. . I just ran my first marathon 2 saturdays ago so now I am ready to jump back into interval running and sprints( not too much ha) but that was such a good workout. I had my husband bring me another shirt to the gym so I could lift afterwards! But anyways I just wanted to say thanks for that!!
– Sara
i also found my new found love for peanut butter/ almond butter- – before I didn’t really eat it but now. . its almost everyday!
i love this post. I cant eat gluten, dairy and soy products so i understand how fustrating people can be when it comes to food and your diet. So glad i read this!
I love this post so much! Thanks for being so honest and real. I gave up jelly beans for lent because I’m addicted to them. Next thing I know, people are asking me if I’m losing weight,etc. I gave them up as a sacrifice. I agree as well that the little indulgences don’t make a huge difference. It’s all about moderation.
I did notice that I crazed more salty things too. Weird.
Your afternoon questions actually hit quite close to home, especially since I was around my whole family for Easter. I have recently made a dietary change to cut out processed sugar and sodium as much as possible (aka, realistically) out of my diet.
I’m in graduate school and would always feel fatigued and like it was hard for me to get my body moving. I work out 5-6 days a week so I decided to switch up my diet and now I love to cook! which I never EVER could have imagined myself saying that, but I also have a passion for healthy food and am really interested in maintaining a very healthy diet due to the changes i’ve seen in my body such as, less oil in my hair and on my face, a dramatic decrease in blemishes and redness on my face, and yes losing a bit of weight didn’t hurt..
regardless, over the holiday all I heard from my family is “why are you being so difficult”, ”why do you care so much what’s going into your food, that butter isn’t going to do anything to you” and when I try to explain my reasoning, I was receiving eye rolls, glares, and yeah mhmm okay, but eat the cake and extra salty chips.
I guess I never realized before that while you may be making a lifestyle choice to better your own health and well-being, you may create problems with your social aspect of life, and for me I have a feeling this is the beginning of a touchy subject with more of my not so health conscious members of my family.
This post really hit home for me. I’ve had a life threatening peanut allergy my entire life (ironic that a blog called “Peanut Butter Fingers” is one of my favourites, right?) and you’d be surprised at how pushy people are with food. If I’m at an event or visiting someone’s house and they offer food, I politely decline unless I know its safe. It doesn’t bother me because to me its not worth risking my life for an appetizer or for a brownie. But people can’t seem to understand that. They say “I’m sure it will be fine. Its just a brownie. Have a bite.” I don’t want to have to get into the whole discussion about cross contamination in food factories or about the risks of eating food in a kitchen where there is peanut butter on the counter. And in the past I’ve had people outright lie about something being safe because they don’t believe that you can die from eating a peanut….and that put me in the hospital.
It wasn’t until my sister became a vegetarian that she understood how hard it is to have to avoid certain types of food. I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone, but at the same time there are so many worse things that you can have than not being able to eat most foods.
Thanks for posting this. I think that so many people deal with the peer pressure of eating a certain way or not eating a certain way. Its nice to see someone with a really healthy way of thinking approach the subject.
I hate when people judge me based on what I am eating & how often I am eating. I eat very differently from the rest of my family and my sister will always make fun of me and say nasty comments. Sometimes it really bothers me because I eat what I do for a reason.
That is the absolute worst when you’re giving up something and have others trying to tempt you or push you into eating it. My mother has done this to me a few times, especially when I weigh less than she thinks I should. I’m still a healthy weight, just more fit. Some people just don’t understand.
Sometimes I think they may be pushing you to eat something because of their own guilt over eating it. Luckily I don’t have that happen too often, so I don’t have to explain myself to others. But it sure doesn’t make you feel good when you are put in that situation!
Glad you made it through to the end!! Good job! 🙂
Julie, I can totally identify with this post. I have a digestive condition called gastroparesis. Essentially it means the stomach doesn’t empty food properly, causing constant nausea/pain/bloating, etc. One of the only ways to manage the condition is via dietary modifications — small meals that are lower in fat and low in fiber. I deal with “food pushers” ALL THE TIME. For example, a meal for me in a restaurant is a plain baked potato or a dry English muffin with a side of (thank goodness!) peanut butter — imagine the comments I get from wait staff and dining companions. It doesn’t bother me anymore, but for several years it was one of the hardest part of living with the condition.
this is my first time commenting on on of your blog posts, but i just wanted to thank you for your thoughts on dealing with people who are food pushers or who make snide remarks about what others eat. i’m lactose intolerant and get violently sick if i consume any dairy products, but because it’s not a life-threatening allergy, most people don’t take it seriously. it’s really hard when i have to decline food at dinner parties or restaurants because people always feel that it’s completely appropriate to ask me WHY i’m not eating this or that rather than just accepting my “no, thank you” and moving on, and i’m embarrassed by my intolerance. i just wanted to say i appreciated your thoughts in today’s post, they resonated especially with me! 🙂
Great reflection! I feel judged on what I do and don’t eat every single day of my life. But you know what? I don’t care! I know what my body wants and what my body needs to feel its very best, so I don’t want to fill it with crap that will make me feel sick. Especially when I first went gluten free, everyone was like, “do you have an allergy?” and I would respond with the…”ehhh not exactly…” and those food pushers would be alll over me. I have learned to ignore though. Thanks for the great post!
Wow there is a lot of judgement in the world of food, look at all these comments! I’m a vegetarian but I don’t tend to get a lot of comments about it. I DO get comments about my green smoothies sometimes at work, which is to be expected since they are not usual, but the worst is when someone is like, “What are you EATING?? That looks DISGUSTING!” and makes a huge scene. Um, I think your nasty Bojangles feast looks gross, but I’m not announcing it to the entire office, am I?
Yes, yes and YES! I have been vegan, giving up sugar and followed food plans where people have been very judgmental about what I choose to eat or not eat. It’s sad that when you are making healthy choices, often those around encourage you to make excuses and not follow your plan. When really, the ones you love should want to see you succeed and encourage you. I used to explain things, but I have just decided to go with a “no thank you” than explain I am lactose intolerant for the 50th time and be totally bugged that they don’t remember me telling them that. Like maybe my mom… who keeps saying, “you can eat butter right?!”
Hi Julie! Never commented before but I have been reading your blog for some time now! This post of yours hits close to home because I have experienced this numerous times. Not just from strangers who are curious about my diet (which is raw/vegan) but from family members and loved ones as well. Ironically, at school (I attended a Holistic Nutrition school for Nutrition Consulting certification) I received many comments about my eating as well. Typically, the comments are right in line with what everyone else has already said: mostly food pushing and insisting on eating something because “what harm can it do?” In the very beginning, I used to get bothered and defend myself, but the reality is, I don’t have to defend anything. Having established that fact within myself, now I always answer their sometimes very rude questions, with very informative answers and I say them animatedly so that they end up feeling like I am providing them with valuable nutritional information that they were unaware of beforehand. Then, it puts them in the place where they might feel THEY need to defend their eating, although I never demand reasons from people about why or what they eat.
Also, as an Orthodox Christian, lent is a serious fasting time. It involves giving up meat, dairy, all animal products including butter and oil except for the weekends. Since I am already a raw/vegan, my diet is basically the Orthodox lenten fast. My husband and teenage boys, however, do fast from these things and often get questioned about it. Interestingly, they are never cornered as though they need to be eating more of this or that, or simply just MORE. I think that the mere fact that this dialogue generally takes place among females shows that there is insecurity and control issues going on as well.
If someone ever does ask me pointedly and also rudely why I eat the way I do and demand that I eat more of this or that, I will simply turn it around and ask them to apply those demands to themselves. It isn’t worth it to get upset about it because most likely, that person wants to have the control that you have and that is the distorted reason why she/he is asking in the first place.
Thanks for acknowledging that last point about being vegetarian! The hardest part really IS telling other people about it which should not be the case at all. Glad to know others (judging by the comments) struggle through the same challenge as well.
I feel awkward at times when people comment on what I eat, but generally I just throw a sick recipe at ’em to help them understand why I eat the way I do… Lately I’ve been on a no-meat kick and my family treats me like I have 3 heads. Oh well, I still love ’em!
I recently had a really hard time dealing with the “diet police” in the same regard.
I started seeing a nutritionist a few months ago and because my thyroid issues she really wanted me to consider a nearly no carb, gluten free diet.
I spent a lot of time justifying to my friends, my fiancee, my family why I couldn’t eat A or B.
I tried to move in to the diet changes slowly (phasing out sweets 2-3 days a week at first, substituting quiona for my pasta etc.) but it was really rough for people to see me moving away from home made breads and biscuits to more roasted veggies and tons of lean protein.
I happen to get this all the time, mostly in the teacher’s lounge. Everyone is always so “interested” in what type of healthy lunch I have put together. When it comes to school functions I get alot of “why are you not ordering the fries and hamburger like everyone else, or why not have some cake.” No I am not depriving myself, I just would choose not to sometimes. When I feel like it I will treat myself. Most of the time, I just hate having to ruin a good dinner by devouring treats all day after school.
I’ve heard this parallel about drinking before too – like people feel so strange when other people pass up a drink. It’s like, why do you care?! Good for you for sticking to you guns!
I think passing on alcohol is one of the biggest areas where people question others. It is a little ridiculous!
As always, such a well written post, Julie.
I don’t know why people care so much—secretly wish they could give up sweets, too? Who knows but I am glad you stuck to it (I couldn’t do it!) for 40 days and I don’t even know you but I’m proud of you for powering through the peanut gallery! 🙂
Good for you! You are seriously inspirational!
I used to a whole lot when I started college because I started losing weight due to the fact that I was eating healthier and actually exercising. It was incredibly annoying having people watch what I ate and try to shove more food into me or desserts that I just didn’t want. I eat healthy and enjoy it and like you mentioned, I also found it easier to just say, “no, thank you,” and move on.
Wow oh wow, so many commenters have already said what I was going to say… I think people who comment on food choices are insecure about their *own* food choices. I try to use it as an educational opportunity, and let them know the benefits of eating this way. And then I explain that moderation (to me) is key, including moderation in indulgencies… therefore you have to pick and choose when you indulge! And I choose when the sweet treat is *truly* indulgent, in my eyes.
Thanks for the post! I recently found your blog a few weeks ago and it has quickly become one of my favorites.
But I too gave up sweets for Lent. I additionally gave up meat as well, something that is extremely urged to do within my Orthodox faith. Actually, we are supposed to give up meat, fish, dairy, and oils. Since I believe this would not be a healthy diet for me personally, I decided to give up meat + sweets to make it more even. At least that was my way of thinking.
After giving up both, I can tell you that sweets was harder!! I eat meat on a regular basis, so it isn’t like I don’t eat meat often. But I never craved meat like I craved the sweets. I could satisfy my hunger for “meat” but it was much harder to satisfy my dessert craving–especially while my family was eating dessert. I would often have a bowl of cereal or a smoothie and that would sometimes work.
To answer your question of if it bothered me if someone questioned my eating habits, the answer is yes. Inside and outside of Lent. It became bothersome when people continued to ask why I didn’t want any when I chose not to have any. I would simply say “No, thank you.” Then many would ask again and I would simply say “Thank you, but I just wouldn’t like any right now.” Many people asked for a 3rd time! Then I felt like I had to explain why when I prefer to keep my fasting to myself.
Furthermore, I understand your statement about feeling for vegans and vegetarians. One of my closests friends is vegetarian and many people bother her with these similar questions.
I guess all we can do is be comfortable with our own decisions because they will make us happy!
Oh man the amount of food pushers/eyes rollers that I have dealt with is too many to list! I’m comfortable with my choices and proud of them because I know how they make me feel! Whether I eat that cookie or don’t feel like eating it is no one’s business at all! I just don’t understand how my eating habits can affect other people so much- my body, my food choices right! I think those kind of people who judge others’ food habits are just looking for some sort of approval on their own personal consumption. Fortunately a majority of people now know that this is my lifestyle and not some sort of deprivation I am undergoing and that I actually enjoy it. For that alone, they now respect my choices and my determination.
I hear you girl! I’ve been a vegetarian since I was 8, and the hardest part isn’t the lack of options, but the questioning from other people. “WHY don’t you eat chicken or fish?” “But meat is so delicious!” “Can you really get enough protein?” (For the record, the answers to those questions/statements are: Because chicken and fish are still animals, other foods are delicious too, and yes you can totally get enough protein!).
I think it mostly has to do with how they feel about their own eating habits. Maybe if they thought they ate too much sweets, talking to someone who has consciously decided to cut those out makes them feel uncomfortable. I love how meat eaters always jump to justify their eating habits. “I don’t eat red meat! Except for sometimes.” “I just eat seafood, mostly.”
NEWSFLASH: I really don’t care how you eat, Meat Eaters. And I mean that int he most polite way possible. So don’t worry about it.
This hits home for me. “Food pushers” have really affected me on numerous occasions – and I don’t just mean my diet. They have made me feel insecure or singled out. Thanks for posting! I’m glad you learned so much from your experience.
Great post! It’s good to read all these comments and see that many deal with the same problem of people making comments on what we choose to eat.
I try to explain to people that I enjoy eating healthy foods and exercising, and no, I’m not depriving myself — I feel much better than when I eat unhealthily! But still, the comments come.
Ironically, I find I get MORE comments now that I’m well on my way to being a dietitian! People are incredibly curious and judgmental about the healthy meals I eat on a regular basis. But the worst part is that now, when I do choose to indulge in front of others, I get comments like “What are you eating that for? Aren’t you supposed to be in nutrition?” I feel like I’m constantly being scrutinized for what I eat, whether good or bad! Lose-lose situation, and it’s really unfortunate.
I love how you talk about “food pushers”. I feel like food has become such a heated topic recently! I definitely consider myself healthy, but I don’t ever intend on eliminating a food completely unless I hate the taste or my body hates the when it makes me feel. I eat meat, and I really dislike when people make moral judgements about it. I probably eat vegetarian 90% of the time and vegan 30% of the time, and I feel like with every way of eating there’s a judgement. I wish people would be more respecrtful of the fact that everyone can choice what they put into their own mouths.
I have had to deal with a fair share of food pushers. Especially my family. It started when I became a vegetarian as a young kid. My parents really didn’t approve.
It got worse when I started losing weight and while I have gotten compliments (I have lost and kept off 100 pounds) I still got comments about indulging a little and “come on, it’s sooo good.”
Now it’s even worse because I have been discovering many food intolerances. People undersand and accept food allergies. But not everyone cares about intolerances. “Oh so you just won’t feel well for a couple of days? Trust me it will be worth it!” They just don’t seem to understand that just because I’m not going to die from eating it, I will be in extreme pain and suffer other ill effects. I think people think I’m being melodramatic! It would almost make things easier if they had to suffer it themselves, because then they’d understand. But I wouldn’t wish this on anyone!
I know that you wrote this quite a while ago, but I loved reading it. I am new to your blog, and I love it. I have done a sweets fast before and got some of the same reactions. It is very interesting how upset people get when you are not eating dessert.
thanks so much, gladys! so glad you found me. 🙂
food pushers are the WORST i accidentally gave one a rather dirty look last night after repeatedly asking me if i wanted a chocolate muffin which in no way appealed to me last night… i really need to get better about dealing with food pushers….
I get this all the time! I’m a teen and most kids my age aren’t concerned about their health or being healthy. Whenever i go to BBQs or parties i constantly have to answer questions about why I’m not eating cheeseburgers or hotdogs or whatever really unhealthy foods are there. I really can’t stand how most people think ‘eating healthy’ is the same as ‘not eating’. People assume that just because i’m not eating cake and ice cream that i must be starving myself or have an eating disorder. I’ve literally had people push cake or candy at me and snap “No! Eat it!” even after ive said no thank you. People give me looks as if to say “Oh. Your one of those girls” I choose to eat a healthy, mostly organic diet and stay active, i rarely get sugar cravings anymore but if i do i’ll have 2-3 generous bites of icecream. But no i dont eat sweets just because they’re there. People just don’t understand that i’m not depriving myself, i really truly don’t want it.But I make myself feel better by repeating to myself “They can make fun of you if they want, your going to outlive all of them” lol