Changing Compliments

Today’s lunch came about as a total mistake.

I intended to make black bean burgers by following this recipe.

I wrote down all of the ingredients and figured I would just blend everything together in the food processor, like I did with my salmon burgers.

Wrong. Apparently I wasn’t supposed to put the black beans in the food processor. Oops.

I ended up with a bunch of gooey burger batter… nothing firm enough to shape into burgers. Since I hate wasting food, I poured the burger batter into a loaf pan and baked it for 50 minutes instead.

The end result was actually pretty tasty.

I present to you, black bean loaf!

Served with leftover steamed broccoli and fresh strawberries this near-miss lunch was actually quite a hit!

Now let’s discuss compliments…

Changing Compliments

Isn’t it funny how a certain compliment can make your heart swoon?

• I love the way you did your hair!
• Great job on that essay!
• What a pretty dress!
• You kicked some serious tookus in that soccer game!
• Awesome presentation today!

Anytime someone takes time to pay me a sincere compliment, it always makes me smile and makes my day a little brighter.

Over the past few months, since I’ve really poured my heart into blogging, I’ve found that while I naturally appreciate every kind comment, certain compliments from readers – ones I may not have previously valued as much – are now meaning more to me than ever before.

Compliments about my writing. My creativity.

As a teenager, I received praise from my parents when I’d get good grades and felt proud when a teacher would write encouraging words on a paper I wrote or a test I took. But, admittedly, the comments that meant the most to my teenage self were the ones that came from my peers about my appearance.

If I heard a certain boy thought I was cute, that meant way more to me than a teacher telling me I should submit a paper into a local writing competition.

I’m not sure when I began to appreciate and value compliments about my personality, intelligence and talents more than kind words about my clothes or my hair.

As a teen, the opinions of your friends and classmates mean so much and in my experience, it seems like teenagers typically don’t compliment each other on class projects or a peer’s warm heart or innate ambition. It’s all about your looks at that age.

Thankfully, it seems like as time goes on and teenagers become adults, skills, talent and effort are more widely recognized. As an adult, I find myself constantly impressed with the talents of others and less focused on their appearance. As my friends become doctors, lawyers and teachers, I am so proud of them not because they looked cute getting their degrees, but because of the hard work and time they poured into accomplishing such a monumental goal.

I’m impressed by the friend who volunteers regularly at her local church. The friend who spends time with her ailing great grandmother because she cares. The coworker who is constantly going out of his way to teach new employees special tricks of the trade to make their job less stressful.

These are the people I idolize now. These are the people I hope to emulate to become a better person myself. 

Questions of the Afternoon

• What type of compliments mean the most to you now? Is this different from when you were younger?
• What is the most meaningful compliment you’ve ever received?