Today’s Things I’m Loving Friday blog post is a little different than usual, as it is comprised of a few simple things that are making me smile through the pain right now. I will follow my heart moving forward in this space but hope to have some semblance of normalcy on the blog on Monday and plan share a weekend recap with you guys. Truthfully, I need it.
I want to continue to use this space as an outlet but I also want to use it as a place where I can write about things that bring me joy and not feel emotionally exhausted when I finish pouring my heart out in a blog post. Thank you for joining me on this unpredictable journey.
I hope you guys have a wonderful weekend and are able to enjoy quality time with people you love. And if you’ll be watching the Super Bowl, I hope you enjoy the game and lots of tasty treats!
Things I’m Loving Friday
- Reading
Reading has always been one of my favorite hobbies and a huge source of joy in my life, but right now it’s something that allows me to just be and not think, feel or do anything other than get lost in another world. My mind wanders all day long and yet, somehow, I’m able to quiet my brain and focus solely on words on a page and stories when I curl up in bed at night with a book. I’m not sure I’ve ever felt more grateful the ability to get lost in a book in my entire life than I have over the course of the past week.
I know many of you out there share my love for reading and are always on the lookout for book recommendations, so here’s a brief list of the books I’ve read over the course of the past 10 days or so that I’ve really enjoyed:
Goodnight June by Sarah Jio
Morning Glory by Sarah Jio
The Last Cameilla by Sarah Jio
The Hypnotist’s Love Story by Liane Moriarty
You may notice a bunch of Sarah Jio novels featured above… I first fell in love with Sarah Jio’s writing a few years ago when I read The Violets of March and completely forgot about her work until I found myself on the lookout for a book that felt like a bit of a break and a breath of fresh air after I struggled with the intense violence (understatement of the year) in Pretty Girls. (<— Once again, not a book I’d recommend. Though it pulled me in right away, it was just too grotesque and over the top.) Sarah Jio’s novels came back into my life when I needed them most this week and I love the way she combines parallel stories from different time periods that still include plenty of intrigue without feeling like a heavy, overly emotional read. (I described them to my mom as “Hallmark movies in book form” which definitely isn’t doing them justice AT ALL but if you’re looking for an easy read that will hook you almost instantly, check out her books!)
I just finished reading The Hypnotist’s Love Story last night, so I’m looking for more recommendations if you guys have any to share.
- My Little Sunshine
There’s nothing like the deep, gurgly belly laugh of a toddler and the high-pitched joyful squeals of a happy child to make you smile. Ever since I began singing “You Are My Sunshine” to Chase to calm him down at night in his nursery, I’ve said he is my sunshine and he has absolutely been my ray of light through the tears right now.
Chase turned 18 months old last Sunday and I cannot get over just how fun this phase of toddlerhood is with our energetic little boy. He seriously does NOT stop moving which keeps me on my toes and is a welcome distraction in my life right now. He’s so chatty and I love listening to him sing and babble all day long. My heart! Chase, you bring us so much joy and I have a feeling you will never, ever be able to comprehend the depth of the love your mom and dad have for you.
- Ryan
Last weekend, Ryan and I found ourselves talking about our wedding vows, specifically the “for better or for worse” line. I told Ryan that we’ve been so fortunate to have so many “for better” moments in our relationship but, honestly, it’s during the “for worse” moments that I almost feel like I can physically feel the size of my heart growing in my love for him.
Ryan has always said that I am the joy and he is the rock in our relationship and while I still think he brings me a heck of a lot of joy, the incredible amount of comfort, security and unwavering loyalty and support I feel from my husband in good times and especially in bad makes me feel so incredibly grateful for every single day we have together. Even the ones that are filled with tears.
- My Mom
My mom planned to visit us in Charlotte this upcoming Monday but pushed the timeline of her trip up when everything happened last week. I’ve always said my mom and my sister should have a nice-off to see who the nicest person in the world is and I cannot even begin to express what it means to me to have my mother here with us during such a difficult time. There’s something about my mother’s voice that makes me feel like I can finally exhale, cry a river of tears and still be met with only the purest love. My mother is an angel on earth and I am so beyond grateful for her help, support and willingness to drop everything for her family at all times.
In the same breath, I feel like I must also acknowledge the incredible support we’ve felt from both Ryan’s family and my family through everything. I could not be luckier when it comes to the family I was born into and the family I gained through marriage.
- Distraction Projects and Play Dates
I’ve been the queen of distraction projects this week. I’ve been trying to channel my desire for distraction in my life into something productive after I found myself feeling increasingly sad during the quiet moments after my D&C when I simply curled up on the couch for hours. Once my body was ready for movement, I’ve poured some of my energy into various projects, including sorting through old clothes, assembling a gift basket for a family member who is going through a hard time and collecting food for a local food drive.
I am also grateful for my wonderful girlfriends who were so open to talking with me about everything I was feeling this week but were equally willing to follow my cues when I wanted to just be during our play dates and focus on the joy of watching our little ones run around like adorable little maniacs.
Questions of the Day
- What is the last book you read that immediately pulled you in?
I am always looking for recommendations!
- Please tell me about one thing that is making you smile this week.
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Hi Julie! Long time reader first time commenter.
Sending you all sorts of good vibes right now.
Look up Karen White, she has a ton of books.
Mixes stories from different character perspectives.
If you like her style you will have plenty to dig thru to keep you entertained.
All the best
Niki
Your post reminded me that after my miscarriage I painted A LOT of our furniture! Painting is so calming i think and I still love the changes in our home 🙂 thinking of you!
The Kite Runner and Sarah’s Key are wonderful, but tough books!
If you don’t already have a Goodreads account I recommend one. It’s great to keep track of books you’ve read, want to read, and your favorites!
I’ve been reading these historical biograghy-type books lately. One of my favorite ones is Once Upon A Town by Bob Greene. It’s about the North Platte canteen where these groups of local people started up to serve freash meals for young soldiers that were passing through the train stations of Nebraska. I read that book in one day, it was so good. There was a lot about cooking, romances with soldiers, and about old goodness that’s hard to find today. I actually found this book in the corner of my library. Another one that I read was Defiance-about a group of Jewish people surviving in the woods during the war.
Beyoncé is pregnant! With twins! Quite possibly the only thing that made me smile this week as our country implodes. I loved Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mendel and found it uplifting and hopeful.
I haven’t commented this past week because I cannot even begin to understand or imagine how tough this past week or so has been on you and your family. Please know that I have kept you and your husband in my thoughts & prayers.
I was very excited when I saw the “Things Im Loving Friday” post because it meant that you were able to find comfort in some things this week- and I was even more excited when I was able to read about all the love & support that you’ve been receiving. Especially from that toddler belly laugh =P
Your strength & words have been inspiring and I hope that you find even more comfort in the coming weeks. And that you can enjoy some tasty treats this Superbowl weekend too 🙂
Thank you so much, Teresa <3
I agree with everyone’s posts about your strength and ability to let yourself grief–that takes strength too! As far as books, I just joined “Book of the Month Club.” I just finished Swimming Lessons and it was great. You get a choice of 5-6 books each month to choose from. There is always good variety too! Look into it!
Read The Dollhouse! It hooked me almost immediately and I couldn’t put it down!
I work with a bunch of librarians and many of us follow your blog and insta and our hearts have been with you these last few weeks! <3
Naturally, we have a few book recommendations for you ~
The Royal We – Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan (Fictionalized story of Will & Kate's relationship!);
Act Like It – Lucy Parker;
The Hating Game – Sally Thorne (both of these are borderline "chick lit" with characters you want to be best friends with).
There is plenty more where that came from so next time you are looking for more recs we'll be ready!
And know we'll be thinking of you and your family and supporting from afar, as online communities/blog fans can!
I am going to have to check these books out. They sound good!
Two books I’ve read lately that I loved were One True Loves and It Ends With Us. So good!
Just finished “The Sun is also a Star” by Nicola Yoon. Super cute and thought-provoking.
Julie,
You are one of my favorite things Friday! We GAINED an angel at 21 weeks. My experience was difference from yours but the heartache was the same. You are brave. Thank you for talking about your baby. Keep doing it, when you can. It’s good for all moms to hear. You never know how your family will grow. Some kids grow up and walk on the earth. Some soar above it.
Sending you healing prayers.
Hi Julie, I’m so sorry for your loss. I just wanted to take a minute to say that I really hope you understand how lucky you are. When I had my miscarriage I took one half day off work for the d&c but then had to go back to the office the very next day. I had two small children to still take care of, but I didn’t have the luxury to lay on the couch and cry all day, read 4 books, nor did I have a mother who could come help me pick up the pieces. Your posts come off as slightly tone-dead given that you seem not to understand that your situation is NOT the norm…you are a stay at home mom with one child and a very very supportive family. Many women have to go on with their lives the very next day…please just keep this in mind.
Hi Sharon. I’m so sorry you know this pain. I honestly feel like I’ve conveyed many times in my posts just how grateful I am for the support I’ve felt from both my family and friends and blog readers. I wrote a post about focusing on the joy through the grief and the majority of that joy has come from the support of others and Chase. I’m sorry if this did not come through to you but I assure you I am very aware I am facing this grief with an incredible support system and feel unbelievably fortunate to have been able to take time to unplug and be at home with my family after my d&c.
I came back into the comment section to write down some book ideas people have left and came across this. Maybe my opinion doesn’t count since I’m a 24 year old single woman who doesn’t have kids and never had a miscarriage but in no way do you come off as the way she is describing. It’s unfortunate that she’s trying to bring you down during a very difficult time because your experience is different than hers. I’m so sorry for your loss Julie and sending lots of prayers during this difficult time.
Julie;
First and foremost you have been in my thoughts and prayers. I am a huge bookworm and recently came across the author Debbie Macomber. PLEASE find her novels. I started with the Rose Harbor In series and theyre amazing. Let me know!!!!
I looooooove Debbie Macomber and got to meet her about 7 years ago at a book signing. She is so sweet!!
Her Cedar Cove series is one of my favorites ever.
OMG!! That’s amazing!! I think in the last couple months Ive read over 15 of her books! The Cedar Cove series is next!!
Hi Julie,
I’ve been reading your blog posts this week and have been so sad for your family. As a fellow mom, I can’t imagine fully the pain of losing a baby before you even have the joy of meeting. Your blog is such a ray of genuine joy and love. I’m so sorry that you have to experience this loss. I lost someone over 11 years ago and I remember hearing that grief is like a wave. You never know when it will hit. We are all different and each loss is unique. I hope that you know that there are no rules to grieving and there is no timeline. You can process this however you need to. I’m thinking of you and Ryan.
Ps- A book I read (and was somehow healing) was Safely Home by Randy Alcorn. It has a beautiful way of presenting a spirit’s exit from the world.
I am so happy to this post today, Julie! You and Ryan remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Reading is something that has always brought me deep comfort and I am glad you are finding it comforting as well.
Have you read any Stuart Woods books? He has a series based on a character, Stone Barrington, and they are always entertaining reads. Susan Mallery’s Mischief Bay books were some of my favorite that I read last year. I read tons of cozy mysteries, they are lighthearted fun 🙂
I hope you have a peaceful and relaxing weekend with your family.
Hi Julie! You have been in my thoughts and prayers this week! I was so excited to see TILF and was glad you found some JOY this week! I read Behind Closed Doors recently and it was pretty heavy though it did suck me in right away…I wouldn’t recommend it if you’re looking for something light, but it was good! After I read that, I started a cute little trilogy Called the Fool Me Once trilogy…The first book is Shame on You by Tara Sivec…it’s a cute little book so far that sucked me in right away and is pretty funny too. It sort of reminds me of the Stephanie Plum novels by Janet Evanovich which are also very light hearted and funny! Hopefully these books give you a little more joy this week! Have a great weekend!
I like Janet evanovich. I will have to check out tara sivec!
Hi Julie,
Like so many other readers, I’ve been thinking of you and your family all week and my heart has been hurting for you. I was really happy to see your post and so glad to hear that you’ve been able to find some moments of peace and comfort this week. You are a strong, brave mama. It sounds like your mom is absolutely amazing – how wonderful to have her there with you this week as well.
A couple of light, fun, reads that I would recommend are:
The Royal We by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan
The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
Modern Lovers by Emma Straub
Sending love!
Joyce
Since you and Ryan both love the Big Bang Theory so much, you would really love The Rosie Project! Such a good book, and in keeping with fans of that show. Also, Kristan Higgins is a PERFECT escape read. She has tons of books, and I highly recommend them! Also, a super fluffy read would be The Substitute, by Denise Grover Swank. Also very much a “hallmark movie in book form” but much better.
Glad you’re being true to yourself and what feels right for you to write at this time. Go with your own flow, and do what you want to do, write, say, or not say. Also happy for you that you have the support of a great husband. I do too, and it’s irreplaceable! I marvel at how much joy he brings me, and how much support he offers. I’m glad you have that too. And Chase is such a cutie. You mentioned that Chase may not be able to fathom the love you and Ryan have for him, but he might one day when he has children of his own. I’m guessing that after you had Chase, you fell even more in love with your own parents, and finally understood that the love you have for Chase is the love they have for you. You probably “get them” on an even deeper level than you ever have. Glad your mom was able to visit you! Cheers to you having the perfect, healing weekend you need. <3
Julie! Have your read Joanna and Chip Gaines’s “The Magnolia Story”? It’s so, so good. I couldn’t put it down, and that’s the general consensus from everyone who’s read it!
I love Sarah Jio and read “The Look of Love” last month- it was a good one!
Continuing to send prayers and hugs for your healing!
Have you ever read any of Louise Penny’s books, particularly her Inspector Gamache series? They are wonderful! The setting is beautiful, and they combine mystery with a great storyline and sweet characters. You’ll want to read them in chronological order…the first one is “Still Life” and its $2.99 for the Kindle edition right now! (Also, do you ever read the blog Modern Mrs. Darcy? She’s my source for all of my fiction reads lately! And she sends out a daily Kindle deals email, which has gotten my Kindle list super backlogged!)
I so hope you find some peace in the coming weeks, and so remember the days of going through what you’re going through before my son, who is now 15 months old. I even had to him ace a D&C like you, after opting for the pills first, which didn’t complete everything.
My husband and I bought an ornament of an angel holding a baby, and we still display it. We also named the baby, but never told anyone the name. It helped us to keep a memorial.
One thing that helped me mourn was listening to the song “glory baby” by watermark. It’s definitely not a pick me up song by any means, but I found it thereapeutic. I could still cry to it now, even a year and a half after miscarrying.
You WILL feel better. You will always remember and wonder and feel the emptiness of a child you never got to meet, but you will find joy again and find yourself in a time where it doesn’t consume your every thought, or even a part in every single day. I’m sorry that you, too, have to feel and remember the pain.
I love the idea of an ornament — thank you for sharing some of the things that helped you through such a painful time with me. I appreciate it very much.
I’m currently living on the edge and reading three books at once: Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes, Stealing Snow by Danielle Paige and My Not So Perfect Life by Sophie Kinsella (not available until Feb 7th). Putting in some work on my book project has been making me smile this week. I can’t wait to have it finished. Still praying for you and your family.
Julie – I’m sad to hear of your family’s loss and glad you have comfort from your family. I don’t know what I would do or how I would feel. Wish I could give you a big hug. I used to always get lost in books but over the last 10 years hadn’t really taken time to read as much as I like to. Now I’m back into reading a bit every day. An author that I really enjoy is Jan Karon. Her books of the Mitford Series are such feel good stories and so easy to get lost in. Wishing you joy and comfort. Lisa
Always love when you include recent reads in your posts! While it might be a little different than your normal reads, my recommendation would be the Wool trilogy by Hugh Howey. They were released in parts as Kindle Singles so each section pulls you in. Definitely one of my most recommended books/series and everyone seems to enjoy them. From a lighthearted “chick lit” perspective I adore anything by Jill Mansell. Light reads and I constantly find myself laughing at the circumstances her characters get themselves into – Millie’s Fling, Rumour Has It, Perfect Timing, and Staying at Daisy’s are a couple favorites.
Wishing you well!
Eligible by Curtis Sittenfield (a modern take on a classic Jane Austin)
Big Girl Panties by Stephanie Evanovich
Reading is wonderful therapy 🙂
It looks like you and I have very similar reading tastes! Have you ever rad any Debbie Macomber? She is really great for light, cute reads. I also like Sophie Kinsella, Jane Green, Kristin Hannah, Emily Griffin and so many more! I think it is so wonderful and inspiring to read how you are able to focus on all the people and things that are such blessings in your life, even in the midst of heartbreaking strugles . Keep at it, girl- you are awesome!
I love how you share so openly yet with so much grace! Thank you for continuing to share in this with us! Grief is such a complicated process and effects everyone so differently.
This week, I am giggly happy every day when I take my dog to this beautiful park thats always full of nice dogs and children to play. She LOVES it here but we are only in the city once every two months. It makes me so happy to see her bounding through the flowers and gardens 🙂
oh, p.s.: if looking at puppies will give you some joy you can see her happiness in the park on her instagram!! @Vaquita_Clara
I love Sarah Jio’s books! She has a new one coming out Feb 7!!!!!
If you can handle a psycholopgical thriller with lots of twists & surprises (not like Pretty Girls….ugggghhh…I feel the same way as you about that book), I just finished Until I Met Her by Natalie Barelli. So entertaining and actually kinda funny in parts. I highly recommend!
Also along the lines of Chase understanding your love for him…. After I had my first baby, my dad said to me “Now you know how much your mom & I love you”. Makes me tear up just thinking about it right now!
It sounds like you have lots of support from both family and friends. Having friends that know whether you need to talk or just be together is the best. I have a friend who always seems to know exactly what I need.
Have you read any of Kate Morton’s books? I really enjoyed The Forgotten Garden. i”m currently reading The Secret Keeper and really liking it so far.
I’m reading Elena Ferrante’s Neapolitan Novels right now, and I’m really enjoying them. Making me smile right now is the idea of a really chilled out sunday, as I had to work today (saturday) and having a completely relaxed day sounds wonderful 🙂
Sending all my love,
Victoria
I actually read “pretty little girls” after you mentioned it and couldn’t sleep while reading it cause it gave me nightmares! But Karin Slaughter has other books that aren’t nearly as violent and her writing is so engrossing from the first page that I read “the kept woman” by her and thoroughly enjoyed it. My top favorite books EVER: a house in the sky!!!!!!! Brain on fire, the art of dancing in the rain. Some other good ones I’ve read this year: still Lolo, the magnolia story, the associate, it was me all along, private (and most James Patterson or sue grafton books)
You are such an amazing person..do not forget that!
You are the one who got me into Sarah Jio and I have now read majority of her books now. I really liked the Bungalow..check that one out.
I am just starting Big Little Lies by Loraine Moriarty. 🙂
Just Breath Series.
Kind of cheesy in a 90210 way but a good get away.
God bless
I highly recommend Book of the Month club: https://www.bookofthemonth.com/. I’d had it for three months so far and love it. It’s introduced me to a lot of books I wouldn’t have come across otherwise, and I’ve really enjoyed the books I’ve received.
So I started reading Pretty Girls after you posted about how intense it was because my 1st thought was “well, I really, really, really like Law and Order SVU… maybe Julie just doesn’t like that kind of TV show but I think this will be up my alley”…. ummm NO. I will never question your taste in books ever again. That was SERIOUSLY intense. I stayed up reading the last 25% until 9:30 last night and swear I had nightmares. I mean, HOW can a book be so intense?! It looks like some of your readers are recommending some of her other books that are less intense, so maybe I’ll try one of those. Wow, Pretty Girls was just waaaaay too much for me and I normally like really intense books!
Ah sorry, I meant “I will never question your description of books”, not taste! I wasn’t questioning your taste, just our relative appetite for thrillers 🙂
I haven’t read anything by Sarah Jio – excited to check those out! Some books I’ve read recently that I really liked were The Baker’s Daughter, The Forty Rules of Love and The Royal We (easy, fun read).
I have a strong love for Sarah Addison Allen. I went through a separation/divorce almost two years ago & had the hardest time reading. In case you didn’t know there is a lot of romance, heart break, or betrayal in most books. Anyways… she was the first author of the first book I could read so she will always have a special place in my heart.
The books were Garden Spells and First Frost.
Hi Julie – thanks for recommendaimg Sarah Jio! I couldn’t put Blackberry Winter down and stayed up way past my bedtime reading (by flashlight from my phone since my husband was sleeping next to me, haha). If you haven’t read Chris Bohjalian I would definitely recommend his books as they have the parallel story format that Jio’s books have. Thanks again!
THANK YOU for this recommendation! Now that I think I’ve made my way through all of Sarah’s books I’ve been on the lookout for a similar format. I’ll definitely check him out!