Ryder’s first year passed by in a blur of gummy smiles, crumbs, milk dribbles, drool, baby dancing, intense determination to get into anything and everything, lots of love and attention from his big brother and a swirling pile of emotions from Mom.
I am not sure what it is about my children’s birthdays, but a myriad of feelings always seem to surface when birthdays roll around. My emotions range from joy and gratitude to something I can only describe as an intense longing for time to slow down, as I know these are the days I’m going to look back on and long to repeat in the future.
I spent a lot of Ryder’s birthday thinking about “lasts” which admittedly isn’t a great way to drag myself out of the funk of feeling sad about our littlest guy growing up. My friend Laurel equated this feeling to the way you feel the day after Christmas or when you arrive home after an awesome vacation. You’re incredibly happy but somehow simultaneously sad about something so big and so special being over. Now that Ryder is one year old, I know the baby phase is over and we’re diving headfirst into toddlerhood. The baby days are hard and messy and so wonderfully chaotic and now, seemingly in the blink of an eye, they’re simply… over.
We’re on the cusp of toddler babble, waddling and walking, weaning and another awesome phase of life but I’d be lying if I said a little part of my heart didn’t ache a bit thinking about the fact that my baby boy is no longer a baby. It all just seems so final since you never get to repeat any of it and there’s no going backwards. Children growing, learning and changing are all obviously great things and remembering that every phase is a phase of life I will never get to repeat actually helps me focus my thoughts on the present and find gratitude in my day-to-day life. It’s all so temporary and it’s all so wonderful.
Phew! That was a bit out there but apparently I have a lot of emotions swirling around in my mind and in my heart right now.
As for how we celebrated Ryder’s first birthday in our house, we stuck to filling his day with his favorite things! This meant lots of blueberries, bouncy balls, tummy kisses and a visit to Discovery Place Kids.
Of course we had to conclude the day with a smash cake for our birthday boy!
We thought Ryder would be all about his birthday cake since he’s a good eater but he was a little timid around the big cake and preferred to eat icing off our fingers when we’d scoop some off to feed to him. He was also happy to dig his fingers into the cake and share it with us.
The birthday boy crashed hard and was sound asleep 10 minutes after cake — a sign of a successful birthday, I think!
Ryder, you are our little angel baby and a huge source of joy and light in our lives. Thank you for reminding me how lucky I am every single time I look at you. I feel honored to be your mama every single day. Happy Birthday, my sweet, smiley boy!
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He is soooo cute! I can’t get over his blond little mohawk – love! I remember being sooo thrilled for you and your family a year ago! What a journey but so worth it to have such a precious baby boy!
thank you, sara! and thanks so much for always sharing so much love and excitement for our family through your kind comments. i appreciate it so much!
Aww what a cutie! I can’t believe your sweet baby boy is a year old already!! You are so very blessed.
I have loved following your story and seeing Ryder as your “happy ending” to the heartbreak that your family has experienced in the last few years. Hard to believe it has been a year already since he was born. Happy Birthday Ryder!! Wilmington, DE
thank you! he truly is the biggest gift. <3
Happy Birthday Ryder! And boy oh boy are you speaking my mama language right now. My little girl turns 1 in 3 weeks and I am so excited and happy for all to come but SO emotional about it all as well. So many emotions!
it’s a rollercoaster!!
Happy birthday to your little guy! He seems so sweet and happy. I totally relate to how you feel. Why does it have to go so fast?! Waaahhhh
But, I needed to read this today as we are in the midst of the 4 month sleep regression with our baby and I am so ready for it to hurry up and be over. But, it’s a good reminder that I will miss these days tremendously, though perhaps not the hourly wake ups:)
oh my gosh i feel for you BIG TIME. the four month sleep regression hit us HARD with ryder!! we’re talking 2 months of awful sleep so i’m definitely sending love and hope for a decent night’s sleep your way!!!
Omg this just made me cry LOL. I have a 10 month old and I feel like every single day is so overwhelming and the baby phase is so emotionally time consuming that there are moments I am wishing for it to end. Sometimes I stop myself and just remind myself to be present and then there are moments where I don’t think I will survive. This is worded beautifully.
YES! It’s so hard some days and then somehow you’re on the other side of it and MISSING it. So crazy!!! And so helpful to remember when it IS hard because I know I’m going to miss the teeny tiny baby days so much!
Ah! So sweet. He definitely is your little angel. His happiness shines through every single smile. Happy birthday, Ryder and momma!!
Thank you, Laura!! <3
Happy Birthday Ryder!!
Happy Birthday Ryder! He is honestly the CUTEST!! Your post made me almost cry. Being a mom is unbelievable. The greatest love we will ever know.
This was such a cute and sweet post!! He is absolutely adorable! You are an amazing mama.
-Kate
https://daysofkate.com/
Happy birthday to Ryder! I can’t believe it’s already been a year – he’s grown so much! Such a sweet post 🙂
Happy Birthday Ryder! I CANNOT believe he is one. Time is such a thief. I love every single stage more and more but looking back at how quickly all of those stages pass by always brings tears to my eyes! 🙁 🙁
This post resonated with me. I have two girls who are well out of the baby phase, but I still get emotional on their birthdays because they just get big so quickly! I almost started crying the other day when one of those Timehop came up of my youngest as a baby. She’s 5 now! The first birthday is such a big deal, so feel all those feels.
Happy birthday to precious Ryder. God bless all of you!
His hair in his cake pictures!!! Such a cutie and happy birthday!
Happy birthday, little guy! My own baby just turned one yesterday (the day after yours), so I totally am getting your vibe on this. It’s hard for me to miss the days when he wasn’t sleeping through the night, but since he finally started doing that, I’d be fine with time slowing down a bit, ha ha 🙂
Happy Birthday Ryder!
Oh the feels! You managed to write the words that my heart is feeling right now! My daughter is 7 months and I swear I was just sitting in the NICU with her! Each day it’s something new. I love watching her grow, but knowing these baby days are limited hurts my heart! Definitely cherishing each day!
Happy birthday sweet baby boy! Mine are now 4-1/2 and 2 and it’s gone by in a flash. Some days are so hard and others I just want time to stand still. I know they won’t always be fighting to both sit on my lap at the same time, I try to remind myself of that even when I feel stretched too thin or all touched out. This time with them is fleeting and I will miss and long for it in the future!
Happy Birthday Ryder!
I hope you had a blast turning 1!
I know society has declared that moving past the one year mark is the end of babyhood and the start of toddlerhood but now that my daughter is going on 3 and 1/2 I feel like that is a silly distinction. Maybe I feel that way more because my daughter was late to walk, but looking back she was still a baby at 14 months and 19 months and I didn’t make myself happier believing that the baby days were gone. In hindsight, I wish I would have let all that go in one ear and out the other.
Maybe some of these feelings result from society loving babies, at least the idea of them, and not being as crazy about toddles and small children.
I’m late to reading this, but Happy First Birthday, Ryder!! He is seriously the cutest little baby! I agree, the time flies so fast. Somehow my daughter is 8 months and I tear up thinking about her 1st birthday…