On Sunday, a couple hours after brunch, I started to experience some cramping. This happened to me one other time many weeks ago during pregnancy right before bed and by the time I went to sleep and woke up the next morning, everything felt okay again. I just sort of figured this would be similar to my last cramping experience, but when the cramping didn’t dissipate for hours and I woke up on Monday with a continuous light cramping feeling, I started to feel a little concerned. I went about my normal work day feeling overly aware of a light cramping sensation that never let up. The cramping also seemed to migrate lower and lower which heightened my anxiety.
I started to get myself more and more worried (why I chose to consult Dr. Google when I know that will just freak me out further, I’ll never know) and eventually called my mom after work to explain how I was feeling. My mom is a nurse and asked me a handful of questions and said she thought I was fine but encouraged me to call my OB/GYN just to be safe. I spoke with a triage nurse who asked me a bunch of very thorough questions. She was so kind and calm and by the end of our call, she said she thought my cramping was likely gastrointestinal versus uterine (which she said was a good thing) and asked me to go to a local CVS or Walgreens for a quick blood pressure screening, which I did immediately. She also told me she thought my cramping could be related to dehydration and encouraged me to drink lots of water.
Once I arrived at CVS, I sat down and took my blood pressure twice before purchasing some sparkling water and calling the nurse again.
Since my blood pressure came back normal, the nurse said she wasn’t too concerned and advised me to better monitor my water intake since the cramping was likely due to dehydration, so I’ve been hydrating like crazy.
She encouraged me to call her back if cramping continued or worsened but I am already feeling much, much better today.
As I typed everything out to share with you guys this morning, I realize freaking out over light cramping may seem trivial, but I really was scared and felt very grateful for the ability to call a triage nurse who was so kind and knowledgeable and wish I just would’ve reached out to my OB/GYN sooner. I’m not sure why I let myself wait so long – probably because my cramping was rather light – but I guess part of me felt like I was being an overly paranoid pregnant woman since I have experienced more worry and anxiety during pregnancy than I ever thought I would.
Up until yesterday, part of me felt attached to our little guy, but part of me also struggled with really feeling connected to the baby boy growing in my belly. When I feel him move, there is nothing better and I am dying to meet him, but I definitely did not feel an instant bond or real connection to the baby growing inside me until yesterday.
I think it took feeling scared and overly paranoid for me to realize that I care so, so deeply for our baby boy. I want him to be safe in my belly. I want him to grow big and strong and enter this world as a healthy little newborn when the time is right for us to meet him. In looking for the silver lining in all of the anxiety I felt yesterday, I realized something rather huge: I am already falling in love with our little one. We may not have the connection I’m sure will come when I meet our baby and get to know him, but we have something. And it’s big and it’s powerful and it’s amazing.
Question of the Morning
- For the mamas out there: Did you ever struggle with excessive worry or anxiety during pregnancy? Was there anything you did that helped ease your mind and concerns?
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I’m so glad you are okay! My dear friend just had her first little one, and she described the same thing. She loved him while he was growing, but it wasn’t until a little rough patch that she realized the depth of the attachment. Fortunately they are both happy and well and he is thriving at three weeks! I know you and your little one will be the same.
Thank you for sharing your experience and your honesty, Julie! I’m glad you’re okay.
Hi Julie I am so glad that everything is ok 🙂 I will say prayers to St. Gerard, the saint of expectant mothers, for you 🙂 silly but my mom was so relieved to have five healthy girls that we all have the middle name gerard haha
I remember for the first several months every twinge made me crazy. Dr. Google was my best and worst enemy. I didn’t know what to expect, and no matter how many people tell you about their pregnancies, or how much you read… it’s so hard to compare to yourself, your body! As I began feeling the baby move more frequent, my belly growing, going in my prenatal visits, hearing the heartbeat I really calmed down and realized that I am OK, my baby is OK. It took me time to get attached based on my history, but the love for my unborn baby (he’s due May 2nd) is already in overload.
Try to think of all the joys that come with pregnancy, and will come with the birth of that baby boy. You have so much to look forward to in the upcoming months so don’t let your anxiety take over. But remember, you are human, and you are going through something so UNREAL. Best of luck 🙂
Thank you for this post! I’m just about as far along as you, and I have had a few bursts of anxiety. I’m not usually a high anxiety person, but pregnancy has definitely brought it on. I really just want all the best for baby and to do everything in power to grow him strong and healthy. I am loving your pregnancy posts (probably because I’m going through now as well)! Best of luck, you are doing it all right!
It’s so nice to know we’re not alone in feeling the way we do. 🙂 Big congratulations to you, Stacey!
With my first pregnancy (my daughter), I was very very sick for the first 16 weeks which required all kinds of special doctor visits and such but it all worked out fine and after that initial illness, I felt great.
With my second pregnancy (my son), all was very smooth. But I recall being at Disneyland with my then 3 yr old daughter on a warm summer day (about 3-4 weeks before my due date) and I just got the panicky feeling that I hadn’t felt the baby move for a long time. So I looked at my watch, we went about our business and still nothing. Here I am frantically checking my watch, waiting for the little one to move while trying to stay calm for my little girl. I was nearly in tears when I called the doctor’s office and the nurse was so sweet and calm. She said “go to First Aid at Disneyland and ask for some juice then lay down for 20-30 minutes then call me back.
I did exactly as she said and sure enough about 15 minutes after I drank that can of apple juice the baby started kicking and punching, which was my normal at that stage (leggy, bony little one). The nurses at Disneyland were so sweet, as was the nurser at the doctor’s office; the little buggar was just sleepy in there all warm and cozy with ME doing all the walking and moving. As soon as I drank some sugar and stopped–he was back at it! (we didn’t peek at the sex with either child, so he was just “the baby” until I saw his face. 🙂
They’re 17 and 13 now and have given me my share of “scares” since then; thankfully nothing I couldn’t manage. All the best to you three.
Thank you for sharing this story! I also seem to feel our little guy move most when I am at ease. 🙂
I am so happy to hear everything is ok! I am glad you are feeling better today!
Julie, I am so glad everything is okay with your little one and yes anxiety is normal.. I had quite an easy pregnancy with not too much to worry about, however what i did worry about was the labour and the injections:) I am an extreme wimp in every way and detest needles, towards the end of my pregnancy I got myself in to such a state over labour and the ” not knowing” what it would be like, It was on my mind every second of every day, I resorted to endless books to try and figure out the step by step to labour 🙂 petrified!! I am happy to say it really was not as bad as i thought and everything went along just fine… sorry that is not really an answer relating to anxiety during the pregnancy but i just had to comment.. anyways, so happy all is okay and I know from your writing in your blog/pictures etc you are going to be a beautiful caring mummy:)xxx
I worried about my baby girl for my entire pregnancy, and it never got easier. I just did my best to pray a lot, and put my trust in my Heavenly Father 🙂 I wish I could say that it goes away, but for me it didn’t. And I still worry now that my baby girl is here and she is 14 months old! I think it is just part of life 🙂
Water, water, and more water! You can’t get enough when you’re pregnant. It’s a Catch 22, because you’ll also be peeing every hour. Ooooh, pregnancy bliss :).
First off, I’m so glad you’re okay! Second, my pregnant friend who is due at the same time you are, (and we just found out it’s a boy!) is also experiencing the same level of anxiety (and she had hyperemesis, which thankfully is better now! Thanks for your anti-nausea recommendations in previous posts!) And I’m glad you called and got reassurance and help from the OB/GYN office. Since anxiety IS a part of pregnancy, maybe instead of fearing appearing paranoid for having strong worries, maybe it would help to think of anxiety and treat it with the same loving self-care that any other pregnancy symptom would receive. Like, if nausea needs anti-nausea help, then anxiety needs reassurance help, and that’s just as acceptable. It’s as okay to need reassurance as it is to need a special pillow so your back feels supported. Maybe the OB/GYN is there to help with physical symptoms AND reassurance. Side note: I have also freaked myself out by googling symptoms (I have some genetic heart issues). I always feel better when I call my heart doc, but googling always freaks me out. Glad you’re okay! And a good reminder to me about the water – it’s one of my New Year’s resolutions.
My anxiety during pregnancy definitely rocketed! Part of it’s hormones but part of it I swear prepares you for what’s to come and making you realize how much you deeply love that little human!
My best advice – always call your obgyn! Do NOT feel silly! I know I felt silly/paranoid and wouldn’t call at first and my OBGYN was like, it’s silly *not* to! It’s always better to be safe. (Plus she said some women call daily..) I know at one point during my 7 month I had a day with reduced fetal movement and called on tears (basically in a panic attack) and they immediately had me come in, put me on a monitor and showed me how everything was just fine. I say if it’ll ease your mind, CALL!
And lastly, never underestimate how much staying hydrated, getting extra sleep and praying can do for you! I am thinking positive, healthy and happy thoughts for you guys! 🙂
I had pregnancy induced hypertension with my first daughter and it was super stressful! The best advice my doctor gave me was to listen to my body and get rest. I was told to lay on my left side as often as possible and drink tons of water. Also to let them know of any sudden headaches or sudden swelling which can be signs of your BP rising. I hope you and your little guy have a healthy, happy pregnancy.
Glad everything is fine! I know I had some anxiety over the littlest things (I went in to the hospital bc I thought my water broke and it really hadn’t–I was 40+ weeks along though!). It’s always good to just call the OB, they’d rather you be safe than sorry!
I don’t think I felt fully connected to my baby until I could really see and feel its movements all the time (about 30 weeks). It just didn’t seem real until then, and even then, I felt nothing compared to when I first held her in my arms after birth! It’s really an amazing feeling
Aw I know exactly how you’re feeling! I’m 36 weeks pregnant and feel like I get anxiety/worry over a ton of things too. I’m constantly reading up on different things, which I think can be both good and bad. I like to have ALL the information possible, but sometimes I read things that scare me. At my appt today, I actually got overwhelmed talking about the birth of our baby girl and started to feel hot and lightheaded. I had to lay down and my midwife brought me a cold towel for my neck and a juice box. My mind always starts wondering and I start thinking of all the possible “what ifs”. I’ve also done this one other time during my pregnancy and actually passed out. It was during the epidural video in my childbirth class. :-/
Yes. ALL THE TIME!!!! Completely normal. Always better safe than sorry.
I’m already a very anxious person so being pregnant, and having a high risk pregnancy, left me feeling worried non stop! Make sure you talk to your OB about anxiety because it can creep back in once the baby is born. I thought once our son was born I would bounce back to normal but instead was left with crippling anxiety that something or someone would harm him. It got so bad I couldn’t go to the store because I thought someone would try to kidnap him! If you look up post partum anxiety there is a lot of information about it. I wish I would have known more about it before my son was born, most OBs, my midwife included, only
discussed post partum depression so when my symptoms didn’t fit that I felt like I was going crazy!
Oh my gosh yes! I just had my first 5 months ago and really I couldn’t relax until she was in my arms! If I ever have another, I hope I can be more relaxed, but it is a really nerve wracking experience! You want so much for the little one to be safe and there’s only so much that is in your control. Try to relax as much as possible and enjoy the journey. He’ll be here before you know it!
Honestly, you distinctively know what’s best for you and your body, so to be a little worrisome when something doesn’t feel right is totally normal. There were a million times I felt this way during pregnancy, especially since it was my first as well (11/3/2014 to a little boy as well). Google and WebMD were my go-to, as they were after baby was born too (am I doing this right??). I too didn’t feel that “connection” until I could feel baby move, then my whole world changed. It’s amazing how motherly instincts suddenly kick in once you can feel your baby move!! I didn’t start this until later, but I encourage you (if you’re not already doing it) to write in a journal your feelings at different stages in your pregnancy. It is so neat to go back and look at those journal entries and see how I was feeling at 15 weeks, at 20 weeks, etc, and what else was going on in my life at that time.
At our 20-week ultrasound, we were told our baby’s belly was slightly distended and that we’d need to come back in for a 28-week ultrasound to check it. I immediately burst in to tears, because that was the moment I realized that I needed our baby to be okay mire than I needed me to be okay. That was when I really connected! And now, we have a perfect, healthy, happy 8-week-old son! We are incredibly blessed!
I worry constantly about my little girl inside of me who we will finally meet in 6 weeks (or so). The anxiety is normal because we love them so much already but we need to realize that everything is ok and we leave fate to the Lord, it’s out of our control. We do our best by eating well, hydrating, exercise and resting but at the end of the day He cares for them.
Glad you are feeling better. Enjoy the experience and I find chatting with other soon to be and already mother’s helps ease the worries.
Water, water and more water for sure!
The pregnancy anxiety shifts to mommy worry after the baby is born. All this is normal.
I had so much cramping with my second I even went to the hospital one night at 28 wks. Luckily it wasnt contractions, but I was so relieved I went and got checked out. The worry of what is going on in there never goes away even in subsequent pregnancies. At least for me.
Happy water drinking!
I have been obsessed with Pellegrino water during my pregnancy! Love it!
Most of my anxiety has been about the birth and parenting skills. I worry that I’m not strong enough or that I will do something wrong. In the end, I feel that I am doing my best to keep him healthy with a good diet, plenty of rest and exercise. I have to remember to put him in God’s hands and have faith in my own abilities.
Keep your chin up – you are doing great!
The best advice specific to anxiety during pregnancy came from a friend. She helped me understand that worry is normal, but you want to constantly marinate that little baby in all good stuff. This conversation was such a relief and really set my daily tone for taking it easy during pregnancy. Please stay away Dr. Google for the remainder of your pregnancy. You were smart to call the nurse and I’m happy they were patient and took your pain seriously. And like many others have already suggested, I found that almost all pregnancy pains were cured by drinking more water. You are on the road to the most amazing journey, enjoy the ride!
I’m so glad you’re ok and so is baby boy! Always call your OB! That’s what they are there for! I’d much rather be a paranoid pregnant lady that bugged them on the regular than not get help when help was needed. You’re going to be such a good mom Julie! ❤️ You love that sweet baby so much already. So wonderful. And get used to that constant worry. It’s never going to go away
Thank you!!! <3 <3 Hope to see you at PB soon!!!
So glad everything is fine! I commend your honesty & know this post will be helpful in many ways to lots of women.
I can totally relate! I remember being nervous when pregnant with my son – just hoping he was healthy and worried about the unknown. I thought that once he arrived I’d worry less but it’s really only the beginning. As soon as he came out I realized how safe he was in there! Motherhood is such a balance of joy and worrying. Surround yourself with a village (family, friends, pediatrician) that supports you and your family. Btw – everyone talks about post partum depression but post partum anxiety is just as real!
I work on a labor and delivery unit and we get calls like this often. It is always better to talk to a nurse to make sure everything is okay! It happens more than you think so don’t think it is just you or anxiety. You know your body and baby better than you think 🙂 But glad everything is okay! Praying you have a safe and healthy baby!
I am currently 24 weeks pregnant w number 2 and throughout my whole first pregnancy I worried and felt anxious..I even carried around jelly beans to eat when I thought I hadn’t felt her move in a bit. I was also a regular at labor and delivery to check her heart rate..the wonderful staff told me they’d rather have my crazy butt in there every day then me to ignore.my fears, just in case. It’s such a crazy time..excited.and nervous all at once! Always call bc peace of mind is worth it!
I’m 25 weeks today and I still have fears just about every other day. Today he’s not moving as much as he was yesterday but this has happened before and I spent all day worried only to find the next day he was back to his usual Kung fu belly mastery. So I’m putting faith that he will be fine and maybe he’s just in a different position or sleeping today. I understand completely when you say you didn’t feel a connection until you became very worried, I feel that the same thing happened with me. Just try not to stress yourself out, I’m sure everything will work out beautifully and just remember all the insane changes that are going on under your skin that you cannot see!
So glad everything is okay – I am not a mom but I woke in the medical field with peds patients and I know the struggle with parents wanting to make sure everything is okay. You are going to be a great mom. I cannot wait to join you on the journey and see your little one grow.
Thank you so much, Torry! This comment made me smile. <3
Hi Juile,
Whew! I am very glad you and your babe are doing well. I was very very very anxious during my last pregnancy due to a previous loss. NEVER doubt yourself if you feel the need to call or go in to your OBs office if you are worried about anything. That’s what they are there for. I almost can’t believe they sent you to Walgreens vs having you come in. It’s always better to call and have them ease your fears.
Also, I always drank at least one coconut water a day and it helped a lot to stay hydrated.
During my first pregnancy, I don’t think a single day went by without me worrying about the health of our baby. It really is incredible how much you can love someone you haven’t met yet. He came out just fine and we had our second boy 3 weeks ago. It is totally normal to feel anxiety Julie, but be aware of how rare it is for your baby to not be perfectly healthy and happy.
It’s funny. I experience anxiety pretty often, but I was oddly less anxious during pregnancy. My husband will agree. That’s not to say I didn’t have my moments of worry; I thought for sure I was having early labor at like 25 weeks because of painful cramping. Turned out to be a bad milkshake from Sonic!
Feeling your baby move definitely gives you more of a connection, but it’s nothing like when you finally meet your baby. And it grows (for me, it did) after those first few weeks when you’re out of the new mom daze and closer to a routine.
Don’t feel bad for any of your feelings or lack thereof. And you were definitely right to call the nurse/dr. Better safe than sorry!
Hi Julie,
I have an 11 month old little boy and I worried a lot when I was pregnant. I remember wanting one of those doppler machines at home so I could hear his heartbeat whenever I wanted especially before I could feel him move. I would hesitate to call my OB but would feel so much better when I did. Don’t hesitate to call when you are worried. It is okay and you are just checking on your little guy! Congrats to you guys!
I am 20 weeks now and constantly struggle with anxiety as well. Feeling the baby move has helped a lot but it never goes away. I’m assuming it will only get 10 times worse when they are actually here. You will worry about them for the rest of your life. I had some bleeding in the beginning of my pregnancy so I can also attest to that feeling you get when your afraid something is wrong. I don’t think I have ever prayed so much. Glad to hear everything is ok! I try to take my husbands advice “don’t worry about anything until there is actually something to worry about”. Easier said than done but I helps bring me down to earth sometimes.
Oh my gosh! I’m the queen of worrying and anxiety. My daughter is 10 months old and I still worry about her like crazy. Seeking out a support group of fellow mamas REALLY helps because you realize there are others that worry just like you. It’s so normal to feel like that, especially right after child birth because hormones are so out of wack. It’s so worth it though. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
So glad everything is OK Julie. I worry about everything and I am so OCD! I honestly do not remember ever
worrying during my pregnancies. I felt great except for the normal issues…morning sickness, feeling tired, swelling, etc. Enjoy your healthy pregnancy and try not to worry so much. God has blessed you with this baby and you are taking care of yourself and your baby. Try to enjoy more and stress less! Believe me, this is the easy part!!!
I think its completely normal to freak out about things. I’m a nurse too and so I know way too much that could freak me out about being pregnant. I try not to look too much into things unless necessary. I’ve heard the worry is just preparing you for motherhood because it only gets worse 🙂
You are doing great! Trucking right along with your little guy 🙂 It is such a wonderful time so enjoy every moment! It literally flies by!
I could go on for days about pregnancy anxiety! I went through 2 miscarriages before finally getting pregnant with our “rainbow baby”. My anxiety was so bad until I finally decided that her well being was far beyond my control…I had to let go and let God. I worried all the way up until the morning I went in to have her but it could have been a lot worse. Once she was born I felt a huge load come off of my shoulders but I now realize I will have a whole new set of worries as a new mom. : ) Congrats again and try to enjoy every single second of your pregnancy…it truly flies by!
I’ve been super anxious with my pregnancy as well! It helps that I’m a nurse, so I can kind of talk myself out of the worst case scenario problems, but I’ve definitely lost some sleep over a few things! The cramping could also be round ligament pain! If you’re having problems sleeping due to the anxiety, maybe look into taking melatonin at night to help you sleep. It’s helped me a lot but some people claim that there is a bit a of a placebo effect, but either way I don’t care because I swear it works. Glad you’re feeling better!
Damn these pregnancy hormones! Totally sappy after that last little bit. Can’t wait to feel more of a connection with my little one (I’m only just past 8 weeks). Can’t wait to feel him/her move around in there! Lots of love to you xxx
I remember my sister saying the same thing. The first months, before she could feel the baby move, were the worst. She said, it was so so tough to wait for the next OB-GYN appointment to see/hear if the baby was ok. (Now he’s a happy healthy 2,5 year old).
I’m not pregnant yet, but I’m already kinda worried about worring too much 😀
Julie, it’s been a loooong time since I was first pregnant…21 years in fact! But that anxiety I felt with my first, and subsequently with my 2nd 3 years later, feels like it was just yesterday. You’re a mom now and the worries you’re feeling are so normal. They will change as you get more and more pregnant and will change again after you have your sweet little boy but I can attest to the fact that every worry line I’ve gotten over the years, every single gray hair(and there are WAY too many for being “only” 42!!) have been worth it. Your body is changing, your heart is changing…your whole world is changing. Try to enjoy every single moment and emotion of this pregnancy as it truly goes by so fast. You are in my thoughts Julie and I know your baby is so incredibly lucky to have parents who are already so in love with him.
Bridgette
Never hesitate to call your OB/GYN!! They understand that a first pregnancy is scary and is totally different than anything you’ve ever experienced. I’m sure they have heard worse than anything you would call about! It is always better to be safe than sorry. Glad all is ok!!
Oh Julie, I can tell you without a doubt that you are not alone in the anxiety department. I worried a lot and now as my boys are 10 and 13 I still worry, this is just the beginning of being a mom. You will not always feel that intense anxiety, but you will always worry about your baby and they will always be your baby. I am sure your mom can tell you that. Once that baby begins to grow inside you, you are forever a mother and forever changed. It is wonderful and frightening all at the same time.
Like others said, never feel bad about calling your ob/gyn for ANYTHING! Yes it’s normal to have pregnancy anxiety, but you’re also a mama now and mamas can sense when something could possibly be wrong. I was leaking amniotic fluid for a long time and delivered my son prematurely (33 weeks). He was just fine but had a 3 week NICU stay. But I wish I had just asked my dr about it sooner instead of telling myself I was peeing on myself and being a crazy, pregnant lady lol. My son could have potentially came much sooner and could have had problems! Thank goodness he didn’t. I’m so glad to hear that you’re feeling better and everything is ok! Stay positive but definitely express any concerns right away to your ob-gyn. Relax and keep drinking that water 🙂
So glad everything is ok!!! :). I had anxiety with both of my pregnancies. I spotted (during the early stages of pregnancy) with both of my boys so I thought I was having a miscarriage almost every single day for weeks. Not fun. Calling the doctor definitely helps. One thing I’ve learned after having kids: always call if you’re nervous about something. They can put your mind at ease or let you know what else to watch for. Sorry to report: the worrying never stops 😉 today I worry about fevers or cuts and bumps. In a few years ill be worried about them driving in cars with their friends or making good decisions for themselves.
I had a pregnancy concern which turned out to actually be something so it is always better to call if you are worried. I started having regular contractions at 32 weeks (not painful, just regular). At my next doctor’s appointment a few days later I told her and she checked my cervix. Well turned out it was already thinning and I was starting to dilate! I got put on bed rest, but 1 week later I went into labor and it had to be stopped with magnesium sulfate which is just miserable. Then I was on strict bedrest since I was 80% effaced and 3 cm dilated at 34 weeks! Luckily, active labor was stopped and I had an 8 lb, totally healthy baby at 39 weeks. The point of this is, you know your body well and if something feels wrong it is better to address it because sometimes something actually is wrong!