It’s a change I’ve leaned into and embraced in my personal life but I wasn’t sure if it was something you guys noticed or even cared to hear more about but your comments on my August post were so encouraging. It became clear to me that maybe seeing someone share three workouts a week rather than a jam-packed exercise routine has its place, too.
A Focus on Movement Above All Else
I am not currently training for anything. I don’t have any huge fitness goals or big athletic achievements I’m working toward so my approach toward fitness comes primarily from a place of seeking to live a healthy life. I understand the importance of daily movement and it’s something I feel committed to not only because I genuinely enjoy it but because I know it’s important for my body and my overall health.
Over the years, I’ve found myself gradually shifting away from craving super-sweaty workouts that leave me feeling breathless. For years, HIIT workouts, plyometric workouts and circuit-style cardio sessions that incorporated lots of jumping and sprinting gave me a sense of accomplishment. They still absolutely have their place but they’re not where I’m at right now.
My focus right now is on movement and motherhood. Thankfully those two go hand-in-hand fairly easily for me since caring for three very active boys ages six and under means we are moving A LOT. We’re walking, running, playing games and moving all over the house and yard and neighborhood every day. Most days of the week THAT is my workout. And I 100 percent believe that is enough. Ask any mom out there caring for little ones all day long if she is physically exhausted by the end of the day and I can almost guarantee you’ll hear a resounding “yes.” Motherhood IS physical and I don’t discount this at all when I look at my daily movement.
A Focus on Enjoyable Exercise (Strength Training)
Though I’ve always been someone who enjoys fitness, I’ve also always been someone who thrives off of the group exercise environment. I love group fitness and going to the gym so 2020 and the pandemic definitely pushed me out of my comfort zone as I learned to embrace at-home workouts. I quickly realized that motivating myself to work out at home was a million times easier when I only did workouts I genuinely love. For me, this looks primarily like strength training workouts and Burn Boot Camp workouts (Burn’s strength days versus their cardio-heavy workouts).
When I am able to get enough work done from 5 – 7 a.m. before the boys are awake and a workout window pops up during Rhett’s morning nap, it doesn’t take much motivation for me to talk myself into a workout because I know I’ll genuinely enjoy the workout I’m about to do and feel great when I’m done. I wanted to specifically touch on this aspect of my current approach to fitness because there are SO MANY different ways to move your body out there and I fully believe every single person can find a way to exercise that they truly enjoy. If you haven’t found that yet, I encourage you to try new things and put yourself out there until you do. It’s so beyond worth it and makes working out feel less like a chore and more like a fun and positive thing you’re doing for your body.
Strength training is my favorite form of traditional exercise (I will forever credit BodyPump for igniting this love) and I know it’s incredibly beneficial for my body from a health perspective, especially as I get older. And that brings me to my next topic…
Aesthetics + Postpartum Life
Let’s talk about aesthetics. It’s the elephant in the room when it comes to health and wellness because saying anything along the lines of “I workout because I want to look good” can be met with harsh criticism from people who want you to love your body. I fully believe it’s possible to work out because you know it’s incredibly important for your health but also make time for exercise because you want to feel good in your skin. I would venture to say most people fall in this camp!
I think it’s possible to love your body but also want to see your body get stronger. I think it’s possible to appreciate your body and still be a little bothered by the postpartum weight you can’t seem to get rid of after baby number two. All of these things can exist at the same time.
I am grateful for my body in innumerable ways. It carries me through daily life and allows me to move and stretch and run and play with my kids. My body birthed three children. It carried three amazing boys around for nine months and nursed each of them for over a year. When I see my looser skin, less-than-perky boobs, love handles and cellulite, I know I have a mother’s body and I don’t say that with any ounce of negativity. A mother’s body is a gift. It is incredible. (True story: When Chase was three, I got out of the shower and he poked his hand in a cellulite dimple on my butt and asked, “Mom, what’s that hole in your bottom?” Oh kids, they keep us humble.)
One of the many gifts of having multiple children is the ability to know how your body responds to postpartum life with a little more clarity every time. After I gave birth the first time, I remember being much more preoccupied with wondering when (and if) I’d reach my pre-baby weight. It wasn’t my focus but I was absolutely more aware of my postpartum body after our first baby. After our second baby, I trusted my body a little more. After Rhett (baby #3), my focus was on making the safest return to postpartum fitness possible (with a specific emphasis on pelvic floor recovery) and this meant I didn’t jump or run for six months postpartum. I also had built-in knowledge about my body and knew that for me and my body, 9+ months postpartum was my “sweet spot” when it came to returning to regular exercise and losing a lot of the weight I gained during pregnancy. (This not-so-coincidentally seems to coincide with the time our babies have seemed to get into a better groove with more predictable naps and nighttime sleep.)
Mash three kids and a pandemic together and finding time to workout at home was harder than it ever was for me before. I began counting long walks as workouts, something I never would’ve done in my 20s. (For what it’s worth, the more I’ve read and learned about fitness and overall longevity the more I fully believe walking is one of the absolute BEST forms of exercise out there. HECK YES for walking!!!) Any workout time I had was dedicated to strength training. I try to make my strength sessions count and opt for heavy weights that challenge my muscles. My workouts are never more than 45 minutes but they often leave my muscles fully fatigued.
And guess what? I look mostly the same as I did when I was working out 6 times a week and sweating my face off in the gym.
Every body is different. Every person is different. The way our bodies respond to exercise and what we eat is different but, for me, focusing on less intense cardio and swapping in walking and more challenging weight training has been a welcomed change that hasn’t left me looking dramatically different.
I say this not because losing weight postpartum comes easily for me. This is not the case. I have to put in effort but my mindset around the whole thing is filled with more grace and patience and a knowledge that it’s not realistic for me to “bounce back” three or even six months after birth. My experience in this third postpartum period of life has only proven to me that more exercise isn’t always the answer. It’s not always a good thing — mentally or physically. I’ve felt less stressed out by the “need” to work out this time around and truly have zero guilt when I go days without a “real” workout other than walking. Walking is enough. Being a mom is enough.
It’s a big shift in my mindset from the days when I felt a little more on edge when I skipped a workout. It’s different than the way I was a decade ago when my workouts were something integral to my daily routine. Are my workouts still important to me? Absolutely. Do I still enjoy fitness and think it’s important for my overall health and happiness? Yes. Is it a focus in my everyday life right now? No. Do I think this is a good thing? Yes. If I was still trying to do what I did in my 20s in my current life with my current obligations and responsibilities and motherhood in the mix, I know I’d be running myself ragged. Something had to give and fortunately when it did, it came along with a mindset that looks at fitness for what it should be — something important for my overall health, not something that causes me anxiety or guilt or any kind of negative emotions if it has to be overlooked a few days a week.
My workouts make me feel strong and powerful and give me energy. They may happen half as often as they used to, but I’m grateful I’m in a place where I believe that focusing on motherhood and movement and lifting heavy weights a few days a week is enough.
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Amen to all of this!! My workouts are vastly different now than before I had kids. Going from 6 days in gym to 3 days at home in our garage, I absolutely prefer the 3 days at home. My body has changed a lot since have kids but coming from a disorder eating background I feel like I would much rather it look like it does with purpose than to be fragile and bony. I appreciate this post so much. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for sharing this with me — I’m so glad to hear you’re in a much, much better place, Megan. <3
YES YES YES! While I can say I miss the days where I had the time for an hour plus workout, I wouldn’t trade my life now for anything! I also know that one day I will have time for long workouts and I’ll miss having littles ones to chase after! Thank you for sharing! I feel validated 🙂
Amen to all of this!! My workouts are vastly different now than before I had kids. Going from 6 days in gym to 3 days at home in our garage, I absolutely prefer the 3 days at home. My body has changed a lot since have kids but coming from a disorder eating background I feel like I would much rather it look like it does with purpose than to be fragile and bony. I appreciate this post so much. Thank you for sharing!
I love this! I’m not a mom yet but can relate in the sense that my approach to workouts and fitness has evolved so much over the years. I also really value your honesty – it is refreshing. I remember a post you wrote years ago about being insecure about your knees and Ryan saying “really? don’t be one of those girls.” and honestly that has stuck with me for yearsss because I had never ever noticed your knees, so when I’m picking apart mine, or some other insecurity my mind goes right to that. It can be so tough to be a woman comparing yourself to those on social media, so thank you for talking about cellulite, soft skin, etc. Even though it’s ridiculous, you can sometimes feel like your the only one that has them when looking at others. Thanks for sharing your new approach – I would love more posts like this!
Thank you for all of this!! My workouts and dedication to them are so different than before kids. After kid 1, I was so concerned about the “bounce back.” I stressed myself to no end and it was miserable. After kid 2 (5 months post partum here), I am just focusing on family, moving, healthy eating and my body will figure itself out. I am not nearly as stressed about it. There are some days when I am all for hopping on that peloton and going at it, other days when the kids go to bed, I am content just reading a book. I absolutely consider running around like a crazy person with the kids on the go counts as exercise! It is so nice to hear other moms have the same mentality versus what we see on social media.
Yes! Exactly! So much out there these days seems to be about hitting the gym so hard and going “all in” all the time but that’s so far from where my mind is these days.
I love this post for so many reasons. We are all different, with different schedules and there are so many ways to count what is and isn’t a workout for each of us. And yes motherhood caring for littles is legit !! So many people discount that. I love most is that you are accepting change with your fitness as your season of life changes. When I had kids, I had a very hard time meshing the two. I found my way, but in my mind my fitness shouldn’t change just because I had kids. Things changed for the better when I learned how to mesh fitness with my kids and be ok with it. You look healthy and amazing and your kids are simply adorable.
“Things changed for the better when I learned how to mesh fitness with my kids and be ok with it.” <-- I agree with this so much! When you're used to only juggling your schedule and planning workouts around yourself it takes some serious adjusting to figure things out with kids in the mix but once I realized I can't do what I used to do (nor do I want to anymore), I was so much happier and less frustrated.
I love this! I’m a single mom of a toddler, and if it wasn’t for work from home I’d never get to workout! I also went from 5-6 days week of workouts that would wreck me (long, sweaty, difficult, and expensive) to 4-5 workouts a week that last for 20-40 min. Motherhood completely changed my relationship with my body and the confidence I have in it, and like you mentioned, I don’t really see much of a difference from when I was killing myself in the gym. My boobs are saggier from a year of breastfeeding and I have a little pooch no matter what I do from my C-section, but I feel so much better in my skin than I did before.
FWIW, I also think your body is incredible (#goals), and hearing you discuss these things and being so open makes you even more likable.
I love this! I have two under two and recently started back to work. I know the only time to get an actual workout in is before they get up for the day but sometimes sleep is more important. I know running around and lifting both kids definitely counts as a work out. I just need to keep reminding myself the 5x a week and super sweaty workouts I did pre kids isn’t feasible but that doesn’t mean I am not getting stronger and benefiting from what I can do.
YES to sleep being more important sometimes! I was all about 5 a.m. workouts before kids but now I know my body truly NEEDS rest some days.
I love this post, Julie. I am 33 weeks pregnant with baby #2, have an energetic 2 year old, and work full time from home. My workouts these days are vastly different than pre-kids when I’d go to the gym every night after work. Light strength training and a slow 2 mile walk are about all my body can handle with my SPD pain, and those days feel triumphant to me! My husband and I talk about how we notice our energy levels are not where they used to be ever since we hit our 30s and therefore a big motivator for working out is being able to keep up with our kids – running after small children is no joke!!
I wanted to add that I first found your blog back around 2011 via treadmill workouts on Pinterest! Those used to be my jam!
heck yes celebrate those walks!!! and i hope the rest of your pregnancy is smooth and a liiiittle more comfortable. <3 also, totally feel ya on changing energy levels now that i'm in my mid-30s.
Yes to this! I’m also in my thirties and I have two kids. I switched to a lot of walking in 2020 and it has become my primary form of exercise and I really enjoy it. My older dog doesn’t run anymore so she likes the long walks. The biggest plus I noticed this sweaty NC summer: I could return from a walk and not be a drenched sweaty mess needing an immediate shower, it was so nice! My daughter started kindergarten this year so she rides her bike and I walk her to school each morning and then continue on my walk (with our dog!) and get my exercise in all before I start work for the day! It’s so nice to be able to wfh right now and not have to be work ready in appearance and drive there.
i LOVE that! what a nice way to start the day for you, your dog and your little girl!
This is such an honest and humble post – I’ve read your blog since your wedding posts and this one might be my favorite.
It reminded me of a beautiful essay on Coffee & Crumbs entitled “It’s Their Day Too” that really sealed for me the concept you reference above. I’m working full time and trying to keep up with my household tasks and my husband, but I also mother two young toddlers. There are so many days that, were I to judge by my own to-do list, would be failures – I didn’t get on the Peloton, forgot to take the dishes out of the dishwasher, didn’t make the Pinterest dinner I meant to. But this essay forced me to look at every day as if it was my kids’ day too – because it is their day too – and when I look at it that way, everything about my day makes more sense. I didn’t get on the Peloton because we took a walk to look for big sticks after dinner. I didn’t take the dishes out of the dishwasher because we were practicing hopping on one foot. And I didn’t make the Pinterest dinner because the kids stood on their learning tower to help me cook and that usually means we make pasta and peas instead of something fancier. The essay created this beautiful shift in my own perspective on each day and when I look at my days now, I am so happy with them. I create space for movement and play and connection – it’s what my kids crave, it’s healthy for me, and it works for us right now. Urging you and all mothers to read this: https://www.coffeeandcrumbs.net/blog/2014/8/17/its-their-day-too
THANK YOU for sharing this! <3 So needed and so so true!
I love this post! I love to workout and it’s a good reminder to know my body wouldn’t look that much different if I didn’t workout as much. For me it’s also mental health, so that keeps me going more than anything. Going for a walk with my teenagers is one of the best ways to hang out with them. Also, the high waisted pants can stay forever. Pull those babies up over the muffin top and poof it’s gone! Hahaha 🙂
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Could not agree more on this!! Great post! Motherhood is such a blessing, as is having a body capable of keeping up with the humans it created! I also have struggled with my pre-kids fitness mindset vs. now but am finally at a place where I don’t feel guilty about missing a workout. My two boys keep me moving plenty, and I think fitness over the span of my life will continue to evolve and fluctuate — which is true of all things really! Enjoy the space you’re in now, because everything is temporary. <3 Thanks for sharing!
I love this post so much! I have been following you for the past 8 plus years and have always loved your blog. I just became a mom five days ago and for someone who has always been fairly active and thin, it’s a hard transition to see your body in this “postpartum phase.” Thank you for the beautiful post and the wonderful reminders. You are very inspirational!
Bravo! This is refreshing, and honest, and clearly from the comments, so many of us relate to these sentiments. Motherhood is physical. Walking is one of the best forms of movement for us. I take morning walks most days of the work week after taking my son to daycare, before starting my workday. I love getting outside, getting my heart rate up, and it really clears my mind so that I start my day feeling energized and alert. I so appreciate your honesty and the reminder to all of us to honor and be proud of bodies for all they do for us.
Love, love this post! Totally agree.
Currently 6 months pregnant with my first baby – thank you for sharing this wonderful, healthy, holistic perspective on health/fitness in motherhood 🙂
Best exercise blog post for moms I’ve ever read! I’ve been reading your blog for years (from half marathon training days!) and I just had to comment today. So real and honest- and exactly where I am with my 2 little ones. “I know I have a mother’s body and I don’t say that with any ounce of negativity. A mother’s body is a gift. It is incredible.” Rings so true (also knowing your story of losses reminds that a mother’s body IS such a gift!!) Literally had me tearing up- why are we so hard on our bodies?!
Thank you! As a fellow former Burn member who’s had 3 babies, 2 c sections, and 2 babies under 3, I’m learning that pelvic floor therapy is the jam! I remember you posting after your 3rd that you were taking things slower and it stuck with me. I want to be healthy and able to keep up with my kiddos. Walking is great and therapeutic! I’m also over 45 now, so a good core is key. I’m lucky to squeeze in 30 min video workouts now. But, it’s okay. I’m good after 30 min!
Thank you so much for sharing this post Julie! I just adore your blog and feel like you’re a kindred spirit haha :)! I was nodding my head along with your post (7 months postpartum on baby #2 with a 3 year old big brother!) and I completely agree about not discounting the physicality of motherhood with little ones! Thank you for your honesty and letting us glimpse into your life!
Thank you for this post, Julie! I’ve been a reader for about 7 years and have always enjoyed keeping up with your posts.
Julie I could not agree with you more! I have been following along for a long time (before you were married) and have gone from being a 23 year old fitness/running obsessed student to a 34 year old married mom of 2 very small kids (2 and 5 months) and my mindset has totally changed. Instead of going to the gym every morning at 5 am religiously, I now walk on the treadmill in my basement for an hour because I like it, it makes me feel good, and it’s alone time. I take my babies on walks everyday and am always doing housework and following babies around. I am at a lower weight and feel so much better about my self than I did when I was working out intensely and religiously and I know this is something I will be able to do for the rest of my life without causing harm to my body. Active lifestyle is the best key to success!
Fantastic post!! So real and true.
Heihei Julie, your words are so true. I sometimes look back at the pre-baby years and wish I’d known some of the things I know now.
Thank for your honesty!
Thank you so much for this post! I am 6 months postpartum with my first child and the physical recovery aspects of postpartum have been really hard for me, especially not feeling like my pre-pregnancy self physically. I have noticed a shift in my fitness mindset as well and focus on getting in 3 good strength training sessions a week but if I need more sleep or a lower intensity option like yoga I am so much better at listening to my body now. Following your motherhood journey since Chase was born has been incredibly helpful as I have started my own!
Hi Julie! Longtime reader, but I don’t think I’ve ever really commented. I just wanted to say thank you! This post came at the perfect time. I am entering the third trimester with my first pregnancy and have had to scale way back on the exercise front. I am usually a runner, but running just has not felt good pretty much the whole pregnancy. I have had to re-evaluate what my goals from exercise actually are and learn that a long walk is an excellent way to get outside and get your body moving! I know my relationship with exercise may be forever changed once I enter postpartum and motherhood as well so thank you for sharing your story and perspective! I found it very helpful!
Hi Julie! I’m 7 months postpartum with my first baby and I found this post so wonderful to read and quite refreshing! I was also all about bootcamps and long, sweaty workouts in my previous life.. Of course 2020 rocked my workout world but it actually ended up being a silver lining for me, I found Peloton and haven’t wanted to go back to a gym since. But that certainly doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with my postpartum body even though I fit into my old clothes – you’re definitely not alone in loving your mom-bod but also finding areas you’d like to work on. I’m a long-time reader and I always appreciate your thoughts and posts about many topics but specifically motherhood, keep them coming!
I think this is a really good post. It would be really nice if you could do a post on pelvic floor recovery (if you haven’t already and I missed it) or short workouts that are your go to’s. I found the Jessica Valant 10min booty workout thru you and have done it a few times paired with a postpartum ab recovery video from nourishmovelove. I also can’t wait to try more of Jessica Valant’s 10min videos! I also learned from Melissa Wood Health’s workouts just to do a little each day. Her standing series workouts are killer and I love her 4 and 8 min arms. If I pair a small toning workout with a walk I feel great!
Love this so so much! I’m so impressed that you fluidly found this shift and it’s completely working for you. It’s actually funny because (even tho I’m in a much different place in life than you are) you are so spot on with how the HIIT and intense workouts are not the best thing for you/us in so many ways and that movement and strength training totally cuts it- with balanced eating. It’s a win win and a happier place!
Having kids has changed me in some unexpected ways. Like working out. I used to workout for 60-90 minutes EVERY DAY. I would never run less than 4 miles and would follow that up with a strength workout or yoga sculpt. 3-hour bike rides on the weekend. It’s kinda amazing I was able to do that.
Fast forward to 2 kids later and a pelvic floor that still isn’t functioning properly due to a birth injury…let’s just say things have changed for me. Through all of this, I discovered Get Mom Strong and HIGHLY recommend her for workouts. She is an amazing person and resource. She focuses on getting you strong so that you can run and play with your kids without pain. It’s such a great community. My body is nowhere near where it used to be (thanks extra 10 lbs) but I feel freaking strong and it’s amazing.
I love this! It’s so easy to get hung up on extra weight postpartum (and lets get real, after baby 2, it’s a struggle to lose), but I’ve also be focusing on moving more with my kids. I also love group exercise classes, but it’s pretty hard to beat foot races and tag with the kids!
I could of wrote this post myself! Mom of 3 here, 5-4-2.5, gym Junkie i now invested in a Peloton so I could do more for less. Strength training is still my fave workout but a 20 mins spin can now do it too! Being a mom is hard, we need to take care of ourselves ❤️
Yes to all of this!! I was diagnosed with breast cancer in January (doing great now!) and also have a 2 year old daughter – having less time to work out as a mom and also having to limit activity in a major way after my surgeries forced me to slow down and do less “intentional” exercise. Now that I’m recovered, I realized I am still moving ALL DAY chasing after my daughter and I honestly look better than ever (while working out the least I have in the last 10 years). Like you, my work outs are important to me and my overall health, but any way I move my body is a positive and it doesn’t always have to be in the form of a super-sweaty 5:30 am work out session. Thanks for talking about this – I don’t think it’s discussed enough!!
I feel that we are similar in age and similar fitness journeys. I used to workout for at least an hour 6x /week. Cardio included everytime. More recently, I discovered Barre3 and am training to be an instructor! As always thank you for being real.
I had a similar conversation with my mom a couple years ago. For about 3 years I was working two jobs, with essentially no days off, as still working out six days a week. When one of those jobs became full-time, I was definitely feel the crunch on time to do that, workout, and still have some sort of a social life.
Both of my parents used to be runners, having run multiple marathons when they were younger. My dad still runs (though not as much, and also doing a lot of walking), but my mom doesn’t. She told me how once, they had my sister and I, she more or less had to choose between the demands of her job, running, and spending time with us, and chose to let running fall to the wayside. I’m absolutely grateful that she chose to spend that time with us, since she’s always been there for us, and I know how important it is to make time for those you really care about.
This was so wonderfully written, Julie. I lost the majority of my weight almost immediately after my first baby. Part was stress and my fear of falling asleep and waking up to the worst. I may have received endless compliments but my body was completely depleted. Motherhood is incredibly physical and my first was a heavy little 9 pounder!
When you are caring for your beautiful new baby you gloss over how taxing the postpartum period is on your body. Unfortunately, I was really able to understand this when I lost a pregnancy and only had myself to focus on afterwards. Most people don’t realize that a pregnancy loss is still a birth and you will be postpartum.
As for being comfortable in my own skin after having children, what the heck was I so obsessed with before! I really have zero insecurity about being in a bathing suit because it means that I get to watch my children’s glee while playing at the beach or jumping off the side of a pool.
My only concern with weight is that I keep it in a range where my doctor won’t fuss at me and that will allow me to be active as a senior. Life is now, Mamas! Don’t let the world tell you that your body makes you less than.
I actually think you look EVEN better now (is that possible?!)! Truly inspiring.