Earlier this week we learned that Sadie has hemangiosarcoma, an aggressive form of cancer, and typing up these words leaves me in tears because I hate thinking that something is going on in our girl’s body that we cannot cure and help her fight. To be honest, I’ve been a bit of a mess. (I wrote and scheduled the blog posts I shared this week before Sadie’s vet appointment and since we received this news I haven’t been able to write or think about much else.) Sharing this news with all of you makes the whole situation feel permanent and understanding that we are approaching the end of Sadie’s life doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t feel okay. It feels like intense pressure on my chest, tears in my eyes and the very best dog wrapped up in my arms. A dog I don’t ever want to leave me.
We were hoping and praying Sadie’s ultrasound would reveal an infection we could treat that would explain her weight loss. With no symptoms other than decreased appetite and weight loss currently presenting (other than typical 13-year-old dog things), our vet was hopeful and so were we. When the results came back and our vet told me Sadie has cancer, I held her in my arms, stroked her soft fur and asked a million questions with tears streaming down my face.
Is there something we could’ve done? Could we have found this sooner? What do we do now? Our vet explained that this type of cancer is extremely aggressive and often not found until it has progressed to the point where palliative care is the only recommended option for older dogs. When our vet began discussing the end of Sadie’s life, I was overwhelmed. She’s not ready to go. Not yet. I know she’s not. She’s happy and still acting so much like herself. Our vet agreed. It’s not her time. Not yet.
She still has more nighttime cuddles to give when she presses her warm body against my belly under the sheets.
She still has more walks to go on with the boys when she stops to sniff everything from bushes to the air.
She still has more spoonfuls of peanut butter to lick and chicken scraps to eat as I prep dinner and she stays glued to my leg.
She still has a boat ride she needs to go on where she keeps us safe as Captain Sadie at the bow of the boat.
She still needs to lie down and place her head on my neck a hundred more times, Sadie scarf style.
She still has so much more love from us to receive and we need to make sure she knows deep within her bones that our love will be with her always, always, always.
When I left the vet with Sadie trotting beside me and her medications in my bag, I felt heavy and heartbroken. Sadie has been a constant source of love, comfort, craziness, humor and everything good wrapped up in a wiggly little body for 13-and-a-half years.
I know it’s not Sadie’s time to go yet. I hate thinking that her time is coming. Our vet said it could be days, a week, a month. She doesn’t know. We don’t know. If it’s her time, I hope and pray she will let us know. This is not a decision Ryan nor I feel at all prepared to make.
Right now I’m trying to keep my focus on Sadie. For the first couple of days after we learned about her cancer, I felt like I was almost grieving her before she was even gone. That’s not how I want to spend this precious time with our girl. I want to enjoy her. To love her. To cherish every amazing thing about her. I think Sadie thought I was insane at one point this week because I couldn’t stop following her around, stroking her sweet face and wrapping her up in cuddles every chance I could.
She’s not ready. We’re not ready. And we’re going to make sure that until she is ready, her days are filled with more love than she can imagine and all of her very favorite things because she is and always will be the very best girl.
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Oh Julie, I am so sorry to read this about Sadie. The love you and all of your boys have for her is so evident in your posts. My heart breaks for you all.
I hope your remaining time with Sadie is filled with love and memory-making. Much love and hugs to you all.
Thank you, Lauren. She’s just the very best dog in the world and has a huge piece of my heart with her always, always.
I am so sorry to hear this. What a beautiful life you’ve given Sadie and what a beautiful love she’s given you. I’m a longtime reader and always enjoy hearing about Sadie’s adventures and her constant being by your side over the many life changes. Dogs truly are the best friend a girl can have. Will be praying for this to a peaceful, loving time for you all.
My goodness Julie. I’m so sorry. We are living a similar life with our Bernese Mtn Dog, Jacob. He just turned 12 in May and we have noticed a steady and rapid decline in him over the last couple of months. His body is covered in lumps, his hips are so weak that he falls alot and has trouble standing and he is about 85% deaf. He is the best friend to our kids and loves everyone he meets. We are heartbroken and sad and are not ready to say goodbye.
The hardest part about having a dog is they never live long enough. They are part of your family and losing them is devastating. We will keep Sadie in our thoughts and prayers. And your family as well. Thank you for sharing her life and adventures with us over the years. She is very loved and we are all going to be grieving with you.
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this right now, too. Dogs truly are family and such a huge, wonderful presence in our lives everyday. <3 Sending you and your sweet Jacob love as well.
I’m in tears! I can’t imagine the heartbreak and anxiety you are feeling right now. Even with Sadie at home with you, the unknown must be extremely hard to deal with. The love that you have for Sadie and that Sadie has for you is as strong as any love between two humans. You have been an incredible dog mom to Sadie and I’m sure she is feeling an extraordinary amount of love from you right now, and always. I hope and pray that she has many healthy days left in her to spend with you and your family <3
Thank you, Rae. I just kept waiting for something horrible to happen for the first few days and could not stop crying and checking on her basically glued myself to her. I had a conversation with a friend who told me they went through the same emotions and just tried hard to make a decision to really FEEL everything good about their dog in their final days rather than grieve them before they were gone. I’m trying to take this to heart and cherish every single second we have with her right now because she is just the very best. I want to soak up all of the amazing Sadie things right now while we’re lucky enough to have her here. <3 I really appreciate your kind words and your prayers so much.
Oh Julie I’m so sorry to hear this and teared up reading what you wrote – you love her so much and have for so long. I cannot even imagine. She’s such a great pup, give her extra hugs for me.
Hi Julie, I’m a long time reader and have loved seeing your posts about Sadie throughout the years. She is such a sweet soul and the perfect addition to your family. Thinking about you and your family right now ❤️
I am so sorry you’re experiencing this pain right now. I’ve been following along since before you and Ryan got married. Sometimes, I’ll randomly wonder how Sadie is doing and quickly go to your Instagram or blog for an update. I have a small dog who just turned 11 and I’m internally panicking about how long she will have left. A dog’s love is like no other. I have no doubt Sadie will leave this world knowing she’s so loved by her family.
I’ve been reading your blog since it’s early days and love that Sadie has been such a regular part of it. She seems like a true angel who has taught you and your fam so much over the years. Thank you for sharing her with all of us. I’ll be keeping her in my thoughts and prayers.
Something that has given me a lot of peace as I’ve experienced this type of grief is this short story of a little boy’s take on why dogs don’t need to live as long as people. (https://www.goodthingsguy.com/opinion/why-dogs-live-shorter-lives/).
Sending love 💞
Sadie is such a special person (yep I think dogs feel like people) and I’m sorry you’re at this point. I pray it’s painless for her and that this transition goes as smoothly as it possibly can for you, Ryan and the boys.
I am so deeply sorry Julie. I understand how painful this is, I had to put my 13 year old cat down 2 years ago due to him being in kidney failure and it was the hardest moment of my life. Sending all of you so much love and strength. I pray that you get as much time possible with your sweet girl.
Julie, I am so incredibly sorry for this devastating news! Despite us knowing our fur-babies will leave us before we are ever ready, it makes it no less painful. In June 2017, our middle cat of our three babies, Mason was diagnosed with lymphoma of his liver. His rapid decline in appetite & weight were about all that showed to us too, & I had so much guilt. He bravely & strongly fought cancer for a year before having to say goodbye. He overcame a feeding tube, coming out of remission once, & the side effects of chemo. Our babies are such incredible fighters. Our oldest cat is Sadie’s age, & our youngest will be 10. I’m admittedly in denial of their ages. I’m sending you all the love.
I am so sorry for you, Ryan, and your family. Losing a pet is so hard, and I’m so sorry that you got this hard news. Praying for you all during this time
Julie- my heart absolutely breaks for you. The love of a dog is something that compares to nothing else in this world and they are truly a part of the family. I wish I knew what to say to take away the pain you are feeling but as someone also obsessed with her dogs I know that nothing I say is enough. Soak up every Sadie cuddle and spend as much time with her as you can. She knows how loved she is, your family has shown that to her. I’m crying as I write this because I know the pain of losing a dog. All my love to your family and Sadie.
Soo so sorry Julie… I am in tears reading this and can o only imagine the pain you feel. I wish I had the right words to say but know Sadie has had the best life with you all, especially you as her mom. 💗 Sending you lots of love.
I came to the blog this morning ready for your Things I’m Loving Friday post and felt my heart sink to my stomach when I saw this instead. Sadie is your first baby and I can’t even begin to imagine what your family is going through. Selfishly, I don’t want there to be a day where her snuggly, spunky self isn’t making an appearance on the blog. I’m glad she has a bit of time left to soak up all the love you have to give, but no amount of time will ever be enough. Sending prayers and love to you all.
I’m so sorry, Julie. I’ve followed you for years, and it’s evident that you’ve given Sadie the best life. There’s no doubt she feels your love with her deep within her bones. Praying for your sweet family.
Sending so much love. Dogs lives are too short and so precious. I am in tears reading this and can only imagine how much your heart is hurting. Know there are so many of us who love Sadie as much as you do ❤️❤️
I am so sorry to hear this awful news about Sadie. I know how much you all love her and this has to be so hard to try to comprehend. Just when the world was getting back to normal you got this news. Please be by her side and give her all the snuggles and care until you know she’s suffered enough. Ugh, my heart goes out to you and your post made the tears run down my face too.
I’m so sorry. I ‘ve lost some pets over the years and it is just so difficult. Their furry little selves are such a highlight of our lives,right?!
One crappy piece of advice I’ve gotten is that it is better to make the decision too early than too late. I know it sucks. But truly, you don’t want your dog to be suffering in the end. So while I know you have all these sweet things you still want to do with her, keep in mind that you have loved her SO WELL already. It is a truly selfless act (& so insanely painful) to have to make the choice to end their lives. Lots of hugs.
I’m so sorry to hear that, and I know that it is heartbreaking. About 2.5 years ago we were in the same situation with our 15-year-old dog. And the lead up was so painful. But I can assure you that you will know when it’s time. And you will have the strength to decide that you can’t extend her life for your sake but need to make the incredibly tough decision for hers.
i hate that you know this feeling, colleen. thank you for sharing this with me. i’ve had a few close friends say the same — that we will know — and i hope this is the case because i just feel so unequipped to handle that decision.
Sadie <3
Tears streaming down my face. I know this pain all too well. I lost my Batman to cancer a little over a year ago when he was only 9 years old and it’s so incredibly painful. Dogs are nothing but love and with us for far too short of a time. I wish they could live forever. Know that Sadie will let you know when she is ready to go. Batman stopped eating and was so weak and we just knew it was his time. Sending so much love your way. Enjoy this time with the best girl. You have given her an incredible life, she is so loved and her memory will always be a blessing.
you said it perfectly — they are nothing but love. i am so sorry you lost your sweet batman and know this feeling.
I am so SO sorry to hear this. I’ve been reading since before your wedding and feel like Sadie was my dog too! Sending you so much strength right now and love to little Sadie ❤️
I am so sorry to hear this and it breaks my heart! I too have a Vizsla and they are simply the best. Enjoy your time with her and all the cuddles and walkies. Sending all my love to your family.
Oh Julie. My heart breaks. I went through this two years ago with our dog and it was, candidly, the worst. We were a bit opposite of you – we were honestly hoping for a diagnosis to help push us over the edge to know it was time. She wasn’t herself, wasn’t interested in anything, barely ate, barely knew we were in the room, etc. It is always going to be so hard.
The only thing that really helped me was remembering “we could not have done more to give this dog a good life. She never doubted she was loved and she always knew of our love” and that is the same for you and your sweet girl. You guys have given Sadie the best life and she has always known she was loved! If you have to, making the decision is gut-wrenching, but we knew it was time and knew it was our final act of love for our girl.
I’ll be honest in that the lead-up was horrible knowing the horrible loss that what was coming our way, and though I know we made the right decision, the weeks after were still brutal as well. It’s so hard. Keeping you all in my thoughts.
Julie,
I am so sorry that you and your family have to go through this. Pets are part of the family just as much as children and she has been with you for so long. Just love her and spoil her in her last days and I pray that the Lord will comfort you in your grief.
I am so very sorry to read about Sadie’s diagnosis. She is such a beautiful, sweet, precious dog. I will miss reading about her adventures. Please know I will be praying for Sadie and your family. Sending hugs and prayers!
Oh dear Julie I am so so sorry to read this about your sweet Sadie. Love to you all. I am especially understanding that, as parents, you and Ryan you will have to help Chase and Rhett get through this as well. Blessings to you both as you navigate these next weeks. HUGS
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I am in tears reading this with dogs I love way too much curled up beside me, and my heart breaks for you and your family. Sending you so much love and strength as you continue to give Sadie the best life. <3
So so sorry. We just went through this with our yellow lab in the fall and it is so darn tough. Our boy, Charlie, gave us clear signs when it was time and I hope you feel some peace like that when it’s Sadie’s time.
Oh Julie. I’ve never commented before, but I have followed you for over 10 years now. We lost our Boxer 2 years ago, but he had the same birthday as Sadie! I’m sitting on my couch, with tears rolling down my cheeks. I know this feeling all too well, and it’s the absolute worst. One thing I know is that in the 10 years I’ve followed you, that girl has known what true love is. She has been loved, not just by you guys, but by thousands of us!
You’ll know when the time is right and your girl will forever be a part of the family.
Hugs to you and your family
So sad to hear this, we named our dog Sadie after you gave me the idea 9 years ago! I’m so sorry. It’s so bittersweet to have these animals knowing their time with us is so short.
I’m so sorry about this terrible news for you and your family, Julie. Your words brought tears to my eyes. Dogs really are the absolute best. Sadie is one loved pup and I have to believe that she knows that. You all have given her such a wonderful life. It is never easy to lose a loving pet who’s part of your family. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’m sending you enormous amounts of love and support from Michigan. Please give Sadie a big squeeze for me.
I’m so sorry to hear this. We lost our 8-year-old pup to hemangiosarcoma a few years ago. The good news is that we had nearly 15, happy months with him after his diagnosis. There are some great Facebook groups that provide support for dog owners dealing with the same diagnosis. Through those groups (and with the blessing of our vet), we started our dog on two medicinal mushroom supplements (one is called I’m Yunity and the other is Yunnan Baiyao) which are known for fighting hemangiosarcoma, and which I credit for prolonging his life. I’m so sorry that you guys are dealing with this awful diagnosis.
We have Sadie on Yunnan Baiyao as well right now. Thank you for sharing this. I’m so sorry you lost your precious dog to the same cancer and know what this feels like right now. ❤️
I have loved watching your family and Sadie get older together over the years. Seeing your family love on her is the reason that I got a Viszla as my first “grown up” dog out of college. Norman and I are sending all our love ❤️
HI Julie, so sorry to hear about Sadie, I have been following your blog for long time and enjoyed pics of her. I recently lost my beloved cat who i loved so so much. I had her for 17 y rs!!! so i definlty know what you are going thru. she got diagnosed w/ cancer on April 9 and had no idea how long i had w/ her. she passed on Mem. day. I had to make the decision to let her go because she stopped eating. it was heartbreaking. i was a mess. my friend came w/ me to be supportive. You will go thru all the emotions and i feel for you. I soon adopted another cat who is young, playful, and fun. it defintely helps take away the pain altho i will never ever forgot my sweet Smokey. I just enjoyed EVERY moment w/ her because i felt she still had a lot of life in her as you do w/ Sadie. enjoy every moment with that sweet girl. xo
I am saddened by this news. Through your posts I have come to love Sadie and all things about her. She has been your constant companion through everything. Although I enjoy reading all your posts the ones that include Sadie are my very favorite. Being a fellow pet parent I understand exactly what you are going through. I pray for strength for you and your family as you continue to make memories with Sadie and to know when the difficult time comes. Spoil that little girl like never before and takes tons of pictures and videos! Thank you for sharing your life with us
Julie I am a long time reader. I am in tears for you. I have been there myself. It is so hard. I am praying for peace for you and your family.
im so sorry Julie! i had to put my dog to rest two years ago and reading this brings it all back up. its the hardest decision you will ever make but your bond with Sadie was just like mine with my Colie and you will know when her poor body is ready. sending all the love you to you and Sadie!
I don’t know if you follow her, but thedailytay just went through they exact same scenario with her dog(same breed). She wrote Harlow an obituary that was just published in the Chicago Harold with help from readers! Check it out! This helped her grief! If sorry for your recent news…
Oh, Julie, I am so sorry. I have tears reading this as I have a nearly 17-year-old dog who I know is on limited time. Just try to enjoy however long you have left. What a great life she’s had with your family. You’ll be able to hold the memories of her in your heart forever, but for now, take each additional day, each moment, as a wonderful gift to enjoy her here on earth. Hugs to you and to Sadie!
I only know you through this blog but I cried reading this. My heart breaks for you and your family. Much love to you guys. ❤️
So sorry for this sad news. My heart aches for you and your family. Enjoy every moment.
This is so devastating. I am tearing up reading this knowing exactly what you are going through. The “what ifs”, the grief, the finality, the fear of all the firsts with her missing. We lost our dear dear Foxy almost 2 years ago after a cancer journey. I still miss her like crazy, and it hurts to think about life moving on without her. They give us so much, and deserve all the love and spoiling we can manage. Keeping you and Sadie in my prayers, give her extra love and PB from me!
I am so very sorry for what you are going through with Sadie. My childhood dog was lost to cancer and it’s not easy. I feel your pain and know how hard it is.
Sending big hugs and lots of love your way!!!
💙💙💙
Oh you poor poor thing. I went through the same situation with my dog not too long ago, and I know how horrible it is. Sending you and your family (and, most of all, Sadie) my warmest wishes and love <3
Oh Julie, this is heartbreaking news. I kind of feel like we all can claim your sweet girl. I’ve loved reading about Sadie since I first stumbled across your blog years ago. Squeeze her extra tight from me. Losing the furry family members is so hard. Sending lots of love to all of you.
I’m so sorry for you and Ryan. Every time I see a vizsla on the street I think of Sadie and her birthday treat. Sending you guys lots of good thoughts right now.
I’m so sorry 🙁 I’ve been reading about Sadie for years and I know how much you love her. A dog’s only fault is their short life 🙁 my dog, Princess died from cancer 11 years ago and I still miss her and talk about her all the time. They’re part of the family.
You’ve given her a wonderful life and I can tell she’s given so much to you and your family too. Give her some big hugs for me. <3
Ughh, this is so sad! I’ve loved reading about Sadie’s adventures on your blog. She will let you know when she’s ready. Fur babies are stronger than we are about that. <3 Thinking of you all! Spoil that girl rotten! Hug her, kiss her, and hold her.
You and your family are in my prayers… your post was so heartfelt and I have always enjoyed reading about Sadie! Enjoy every single snuggle and lap sitting she gives you <3