The first three weeks after Chase was born, Ryan and I were almost convinced we lucked out with an “easy” baby. My mom was in town, so I had a ton of support when Ryan had to go back to work the week after Chase’s birth and I am convinced that her company coupled with Chase’s eat-sleep-eat-sleep routine tricked us into thinking life with a new baby would be much easier than anticipated.
Yes, we were up a lot in the night in the beginning, but there is a big difference between waking up to nurse and immediately returning to sleep and waking up to nurse only to have your baby cry, fuss, or want to party it up for two hours at 2 a.m. We began to experience the latter right when Chase hit four weeks old. Experienced moms told me that this was when Chase finally “woke up” and I now had a baby on my hands, not a sweet, sleepy little newborn.
I read enough during pregnancy to know that the first six weeks with a baby are supposed to be really challenging. I assumed that this meant each week would be hard, but that the weeks would get progressively easier. Week one would be the hardest, week two would get a little easier and week three would be even easier yet as we learned more about what made our baby tick and how to best meet his needs. With Chase, every week after week four has seemed to get progressively more challenging.
Right around when Chase turned four weeks old, we were introduced to the “witching hour” of inconsolable crying in the hour or two before bedtime. And then Chase no longer went back to sleep after every nighttime feeding, often resulting in two-hour stretches of rocking and soothing in the middle of the night. Chase only seemed to settle when he was being held or nursing and I was finally hit with the kind of exhaustion and frustration that brings you to tears.
And then, in the midst of the sleepless nights and days packed with poopy diapers and spit up, Chase smiled.
His eyes began to lock with mine for a little longer. His coos began to morph from fussy cries into excited squeals.
Oh yes, the screams, tears and breakdowns continue, but I know it’s all part of this incredible journey.
Chase is growing and changing every day and I feel so lucky to be able to watch my little boy enter into each new phase of his life. I feel so lucky to be able to cuddle his soft little body on my chest and when he falls asleep as I’m holding him, I often cannot help but kiss his forehead and inhale his wonderful baby smell.
Being a mom is challenging and completely consuming but it’s also, without a doubt, the most unbelievably incredible thing in the world. Chase is everything to me and each exhausting day we spend together only makes me fall deeper and deeper in love with my little boy.
{Photos 2 and 6: Brooke Whitney Photography}
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What a lovely post! I am sure it is incredibly challenging but in the end it’s all worth it! Chase is so adorable!
Beautifully said! I’m a FTM to a 6 month old, and I’m often in awe of how much love the heart can contain. I’ve never felt a love quite like this before. Some days are incredibly hard, but the love we have for our little babies is abounding!
I read somewhere that it never really gets easy, you are always worried and trying to do the best you can for your little person.
I wanted to make a suggestion after reading your post where you wore Chase. Babywearing can actually cause your baby to cry significantly less overall and sleep better in general. I found this to be true with my second who I wore out of necessity. I was going to suggest wearing Chase for your long walks, especially now that it’s cooler. And now that you’re venturing out, I’d recommend plopping him in a carrier when you are out somewhere. It can make a huge difference! They refer to the first three months as the fourth trimester, babies love to be with mama!!!
You’re doing great! 🙂
I can’t believe how being a mom has completely stretched me and made such a better person. Yes, the sleepless nights are so hard………the spit-up, puke, poopy diapers and lack of any help ever was a little tricky. But I learned how to do things on my own. And I think that smile is your reward!
Weeks 4-7 were the hardest with my little ones who are 11 weeks today (minus a growth spurt at about 8 weeks)! I totally agree with the smiling making it feel somehow easier — it’s like “at least they acknowledge my existence now!”
This brought tears to my eyes… Well said
Being a mommy is the most difficult, yet most rewarding and amazing, job in the world!!!
I remember thinking with my first two, “I wonder if my baby even likes me because all she does is sleep, eat, and cry?” I was so in love with each of them right away, but it takes the baby a little bit to show us that sweet reciprocation of love, especially in smiles and interaction. Then, once we get that sweet little smile… It’s all worth it!!
You are doing a great job and are truly blessed to have your mom’s supports through this early part of motherhood.
Thank you for this post! Although I am a momma for the second time this experience has been 100% different than my first born. Thomas is just 4 weeks old today and this post is exactly what’s going on over here! Thank you for reminding me I am not alone and that every baby changes things up on you over and over again. Keep posting it is so helpful!
I feel for you! It honestly hit me hard at 4 weeks… Right when I thought I had Chase figured out and we were getting into a groove, it was like he became a whole new (way more challenging!) baby. <3 Much love coming your way!
He is so cute! It is so true though. They seem to be changing every minute at that age!
So sweet, Chase is adorable.
You absolutely reminded me of when my son first smiled — it was after that first growth spurt week (3 weeks old), right as he turned four weeks old, after a night of pure misery. The constant nursing and crying, inability to soothe him, I was going to lose it! And then he smiled at me. And my world changed forever 🙂 The beginning is so so hard but it goes so fast, I swear.
have you read The Happiest Baby on the Block? It’s a LIFESAVER! Basically the first few months after birth are considered the 4th trumester and if you replicate the womb as much as possible your baby will sleep better and for longer. Baby wearing is also key to smoother days and nights! Seriously though, the happiest baby is a quick read and will change your life! Good luck 🙂
We have! Love the book and the 5 S’s do seem to work well, but not ALL the time. I do love the 4th trimester philosophy and think it makes a ton of sense!
Thank you for sharing the real life of a new mom…not always sunshine and roses! And what a gorgeous smile he has..I can see why it would make it all worth it!!
This is so sweet. I am really enjoying how honest you are being about your whole experience first as being pregnant and now as a new mom!
I hope it helps to know this – my 1st is 10 months & it seems like such a long time ago that we went through what you’re going through that I’d even forgotten about it. It won’t be long until baby’s used to being in the world & your long nights will be a distant memory.
Oh Julie! You sound exactly like me with my first baby. I remember the first week thinking “wow, I’ve got this, this is pretty easy” and then it all changed!! My baby was colicky and was doing everything you described above. It’s so hard as a first time mom because you blame everything on yourself! I was nursing and basically eliminated everything in my diet hoping that would help, nope! It was a hard few months, but guess what? Your second baby won’t do any of those things! My second had a little bit of fussy times here and there but it was nothing like my first. Babies are incredibly frustrating, they can’t tell you what’s wrong. The phases are hard and fast. This too shall pass, you won’t remember most of it and you will love him more and more each day. Hang in there momma!!
Also, the 5 S’s really kind of saved me! Swaddle, Side, Shhh, Suck, Shake. Look them up.
So precious! 🙂 Thanks for the honest post. Loving hearing about your journey. What a cutie!
This is perfectly said. I, too, was under the impression it would get easier as my little one grew older. But at the one month mark a switch flipped and she was so much fussier and demanding! That smile totally changes things 🙂
This is so beautifully written. “…I was finally hit with the kind of exhaustion and frustration that brings you to tears.” That line made me tear up because I have been there. Being a mom, especially a brand new mom, can be so hard at times but is the most rewarding thing you will ever do. I only “know” you from being a long-time reader but can see from your blog that you are doing a fantastic job with him. He is beautiful and his smile is so sweet. Congratulations.
Your newborn photos are absolutely gorgeous… and I love his banana diapers haha. Too cute.
What a sweetie! I agree, just as you figure one thing out something else happens, i.e. teething! Stomach bug! (a vomiting baby is no fun but somehow we all got through it)
I cried alot the first few months…I think part of it was because I was exhausted some days. I would lash out at my poor husband too, oh I don’t miss those days. And I also started to long for my identity again (I felt like I was just a being that fed and changed my baby all day long). But I will say that 10 months later I’m back to my old self with the bonus of having a cute baby by my side 😉
It can be hard to be patient with everyone when you’re so exhausted — I’ve been there x 1,000. I’m happy to hear you are doing so well now! 🙂
I have two boys, one is 5 and one 15 months. With the first, that first year was pure torture for me. Yes I loved him and wouldn’t change it for the world but it was rough. With my second it flew by and I wondered why the first seemed so difficult. Their behaviors were pretty similar, I think I just knew what to expect a little more. Hang in there it does get easier and your absolutely right as soon as you get their routine figured out they change.
Thanks for sharing the good, the bad and the wonderful of motherhood and keeping it real 🙂 I found myself always repeating it’s just a phase, it’s just a phase and as soon as you feel like you can’t take anymore – he smiles 🙂
My dad told me that right when you think you can’t handle a certain phase, they grow out of it and a new one comes along right when you need it. So far, it seems to be true!
SO TRUE!!!
Oh jeesh! You have me tearing up this morning.
It sounds like such an incredible journey. It’s crazy how a little smile can turn it around.
Lots of love and patience your way!
Oh my goodness, that smile! I remember that first smile – it come RIGHT when you need it the most, when all of it is starting to get almost too crazy.
Soooo sweet. I can NOT wait until our baby girl is here! That smile on Chase’s face is the cutest thing, I just know your heart melted into a million pieces!! I can’t even imagine!
I really am just so thrilled for you, Sarah! Even when it’s challenging, being a mom is absolutely the best thing in the world. <3
Hang in there Mama! It does get better. I remember feeling this way with Hunter right around the 4-6 week mark too. I remember one evening feeling so desperate for sleep that I decided to break open my Happiest Baby On The Block book again at 2 AM to see if I could implement anything that I wasn’t already doing. I refreshed myself with the 5 S’s…swaddled him, blasted his sound machine, put him in the swing, and attempted a pacifier…and wouldn’t you know, he slept for SIX hours straight! I was in disbelief! From that point forward, he slept in his swing for the following two months and I didn’t even care because we both were sleeping longer and better. Obviously every baby is different, but it’s worth a shot if you haven’t tried it already. 😉 Sending hugs your way!
OMG I DID THE SAME THING! I was flipping through the book at 2 a.m. hoping to find a piece of miraculous advice I somehow missed the first time.
You are doing an amazing job! It is wonderful to be able to follow you along this journey 🙂
This was so touching, what a beautiful post 🙂
My best advice, and one I repeat to myself often, is “This Isn’t Going To Last”. The hard nights, the crying, the blowouts, the sleep deprivation…. but also the tiny socks, the coos, the gummy smiles, the tiny snuggling body. It all goes by in a blink, and everything changes so, so fast. Take the time to enjoy the good while you can, and know that the bad will pass before you know it.
I just saw a tiny 2-week old baby today and it was the best reminder of how fleeting this time is — she made Chase look like a GIANT baby and he’s only 7 weeks! He will only be this teeny for such a short amount of time and it’s the best reminder to try to enjoy it as much as possible since I know one day I will miss his baby cuddles!
This is beautiful and so true. It doesn’t really get any easier, it just gets different. When my baby started sleeping through the night, my toddler started having nightmares that require at least a half hour of cuddling, rocking and singing, and that’s been going on for months now. You’ll eventually trade nighttime nursing for poop fingerpainting (I thought people were joking, but my son loves to dig in his diaper), and plenty of other frustrations that will have you up all night or sanitizing your entire house (or both) — but the hugs get tighter, the kisses get messier, and he learns to say “I love you” and “mommy”, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. 🙂
Girlfriend, you hit the nail on the head. I remember experiencing the very same thing with my first. The first couple of weeks were nothing compared to what came, but YOU ARE DOING IT! And you are doing great!!! I couldn’t agree more that every exhausting moment is worth itself 100x over for THAT SMILE.
What a great post. Thank you for being so open and honest.
Oh Julie, I just love this so much! At 4 1/2 months into the new mom thing, those first days are fresh in my mind. I remember the first few weeks wondering what everyone was complaining about. I felt like a rockstar because I was feeling great and juggling TWO babies just fine.
And then six weeks hit and I got bitch slapped. Hard. Weeks 7 and 8 were some of the hardest of my life. I cried more then than I care to admit. I told my husband that the babies hated me and I was a terrible Mom. I thought about going to work early just to get a break. But ya know what…the rain clouds parted and the sun came out just when I was about to lose my mind. And things just got easier. Not EASY…easier.
You’re doing a great job and that little boy is luckier than he’ll ever know. And those smiles…hooboy. They get even better!
Hang in there! I have a 5 month old and he had a really rough patch from 2 weeks-3 months. I hardly remember it now though it seems so far in the past! It’s a hard thing to go through and there were tears from both of us during some of those witching hours!
Awww…I love your baby posts! It’s been a long time since my kids were that small, but I remember how it feels to be in your shoes. My middle just started high school, and it’s now exhausting in a different way, but I never expected that teenagers could be so much fun. Each stage has challenges and grows you as a parent.
I finally tried the spinach sausage frittata recipe, and it turned out great! Thanks so much for the recipe. It’s definitely a keeper.
My goodness – look at that smile! He’s looks like the happiest little stud being with you, too. Love watching your journey. 🙂
xo, Jessica
http://www.semisweettooth.com
<3
I couldn’t have said it any better! Being a mom is the most rewarding thing in the world. Once he gets around 8 weeks, it’s smooth sailing. Mine even started to sleep through the night at 10 weeks. Just wait until he has his first real belly laugh! It will for sure melt you.
I read this article today and it described exactly how I felt after having a baby. It can make you feel crazy!
http://www.ravishly.com/2015/09/15/after-flowers-die-postpartum-reality
Thank you for sharing your journey in motherhood! I feel like I’m learning so much for one day! 🙂
Your little Chase is so adorable! Being a mom is a million times harder than I thought it would be, but also a million times better! Those first few months are the hardest, hang in there 🙂 you seem like such a great momma!
I have two kiddos (just turned 1 and 3) and both of them went through the witching hour phase. One thing that would often calm them down (although wore out my husband) was going up and down the stairs. They liked to be moving so we would just walk them around the house a lot but for some reason that up and down the stairs really helped. Also, I don’t know what your weather is like but we would often take them out for a walk when they were fussy. Both girls loved (and still do) to be outside. At night, we would swaddle them up and carry them around our court for awhile. We have actually done that recently with with my just turned 1 year old when she had an ear infection and was hard to console at night. My husband actually walked outside with her for two night around 3am (I have a good one on my hands 🙂 ). Anyway, the point of my ramblings…try random moving (walking, bouncing on an exercise ball, up and down stairs, etc) and some fresh air. Who knows, it might help!
P.S. Aren’t those first smiles wonderful?! The first gassy ones are cute but when you know they are smiling AT you….what a feeling!
That’s how motherhood is… Right when you master one skill and you feel confident as a parent….that sweet little baby throws something else at you. To be honest, you forgot the sleepless nights, spitup (even the stinky kind), blowouts, etc. When you watch your baby grow into a little boy, you just can’t help but love them more and more each day. We’ve all went thru tears and trial and error times wih our baby. You’ll be fine and youll look back and laugh and wonder how you did it all. I love my son more than anything in this world…even when he’s approaching 18 mos, I take all the hugs, cuddles and kisses I can. There will be a point you face when he won’t want to snuggle unless he’s sick…so soak up those moments…for me, it was right around 10-12 mos when he was becoming more mobile..he wanted his freedom. Snuggle with him as much as you can!!! He has such good neck control it looks like in his tummy time pic!!
Awww, that picture of him smiling is so adorable!!! I also like the one where he is holding his head up looking right into the camera like “oooohhh what is that?!” haha
So sweet! Get ready for phases! Now that Brooke is over 2, my husband and I look back and go….”remember when she…” It is amazing how fast things change. I absolutely remember the “witching hour”. Not sad when that one disappeared!
It’s a bit of a roller coaster with a baby… You will have your highs and your lows..and your highs…lows… I have a 4 month old and just when you think you have it figured out those babies throw you curve balls like rolling over at night or learning not to be swaddled! 🙂 It gets easier, and then harder, and easier. You will hear it from everyone. The one thing I remind myself each day when I see my sweet boys face in the morning with a giant smile is that… he is happy, and so therefore I am too. I will get through it. You will to.
Precious!! Such a sweet smile!
This was lovely to read! I know Ryan has done guest posts in the past and just as a post suggestion I think it would be great to hear his thoughts on being a father.
I’m not a mommy yet, but your honesty in this post really speaks to me and makes you very relatable. Thank you for not being afraid to say that being a mom is really, really hard.