Hello and Happy Blog Talk Tuesdays, friends.
We are officially on week five of this series. Dang!
Past Blog Talk Tuesdays topics have included:
- How to Start a Blog, Blog Focus, Self Hosting and More
- Blogger Safety
- Company Outreach: Receiving Free Products, Hosting Giveaways, Posting Product Reviews and More
- Connecting with Other Bloggers
Today’s post was inspired by the presentation I did with three fellow bloggers at the Healthy Living Summit last weekend about handling negativity in the blog world. We crafted our presentation based on the responses we received to the survey we posted on all of our blogs a couple of weeks ago.
I am using some of those questions as well as the questions I received from you guys in the comments section of the blog and through emails for this post.
Rising Above Negativity in the Blog World
- Where does a blogger experience negativity?
When I first began blogging, I assumed the only place a blogger experiences negativity is in the comments section of their posts. Wrong! In the nearly two years that I have been blogging, I’ve seen or heard of negativity in the form of blog comments, tweets, emails, magazine articles and blog posts by other bloggers to name a few.
Also, I know many bloggers have experienced negativity off the blog in their personal lives from family members, friends, colleagues or peers who don’t support or understand blogging.
- What do you do about negativity outside your own blog?
I know of bloggers have experienced extreme negativity outside their blog – though Twitter, magazine articles and blog posts by other bloggers. This can be very hard to handle since it’s not in your own space where you can defend yourself openly for people to see your side.
I personally have a hard time understanding how people have such anger inside about bloggers and basically make a hobby out of saying mean and hurtful things about other people. It reminds me of high school drama and the group of girls who loved making other people feel inadequate and bullied.
If I read a blog and realize I don’t like it, I won’t read it again. Why continue reading something that makes you annoyed or angry… or a blog that simply doesn’t interest you?
That being said, there have been blogs out there that I used to read that seem to pick apart bloggers all the time. I used to read these blogs (they’re like a car accident – you can’t look away), but eventually I realized that I never left their blog feeling happy or uplifted. I felt sad and upset.
I unsubscribed from these blogs in my Google Reader and try my best to never read them. (This is not referring to blogs that exist to try to help bloggers improve their blogs by giving general examples.)
- How do you handle negative comments?
It depends on the comment.
For the most part, I tend to ignore negative comments because many people who say nasty things are just trying to get under your skin. I rarely delete comments but I am 100 percent supportive of bloggers who do. It’s your blog and your space and you deserve to delete comments that you feel are inappropriate. Comments that are wildly profane or inappropriate or those that attack loved ones will always be deleted.
Note: There is a ginormous difference between a negative (evil!) comment and constructive (polite!) criticism. Most bloggers I know understand the difference and welcome polite differences of opinion or criticism, but blatant attacks on a blogger are a whole separate beast.
- Do you find it hard not to respond “in kind” to a mean commenter? I think it would be so hard not to tell them off!
Oh gosh, yes. I was a public relations major in college and I always say that studying PR helped me more in blogging than any of my other jobs after college. When someone says “I hate you, you’re ugly” or something of the sort, I would love to say “Well aren’t you a peach?” and then go kick them in the shins, but then aren’t I just perpetuating the negativity?
I don’t want to see a fight break out in the comments section of my post and prefer to simply let it go or respond in a way that is both polite and compassionate.
That being said, if a negative comment comes from someone who is not anonymous, I will send them a personal email to ask if I did something to offend or hurt them in any way.
This has only happened once since basically all negative comments are anonymous (shocking!), but I have been able to find contact information by being sneaky and locating a commenter’s personal blog or accurate email address by searching for their IP address (a unique number connected to every computer) on the back end of my blog. This brings up all comments they’ve ever left on my blog – both positive comments that were not anonymous and the negative ones that were.
Many times bloggers know exactly who leaves a negative comment on their blog.
For more detailed instructions about the techy side of negative comments (looking up IP addresses, moderating and blocking negative comments), definitely check out Healthy Living Blogs this upcoming Thursday where you will find the full tutorial from our presentation posted.
- How you you remain positive after a negative comment?
When I received my first truly evil comment, I was upset for days. There have even been times when the nastiness of a comment has made me question whether or not I wanted to continue blogging.
I had what I’ll call a “negative comment epiphany” about a year into blogging. One negative commenter (anonymous, of course) commented on my blog when Ryan was away on his bachelor cruise (and therefore unreachable). She said something along the lines of “Just wanted to let you know I saw Ryan kissing a brunette girl the other day. Just thought you should know!”
Um, what!?
I didn’t question the validity of the comment because Ryan and I have a secure relationship and haven’t had any trust issues, but I did feel angry! Why would anyone want to sabotage my personal relationship?
I looked up the commenter’s IP address and found that she lived in Michigan (a state Ryan has never been to) and eventually I found her personal blog because she had left previous comments on my blog that were not anonymous.
When I discovered her blog, I went from angry to sad. The woman had a lot of personal issues and some serious negativity in her own life.
It was an eye opening experience for me because it made me realize that many times the negative comments people leave on blogs have nothing to do with the blogger. The commenter is often dealing with personal demons or bad things on their end and the blogger becomes an easy target for negativity.
That being said, I don’t use this train of thought to excuse myself from negative comments. Ryan’s mom said something to me the other week that I will never forget: “If you find yourself becoming defensive about something, maybe it’s because you have something to be defensive about.”
So true.
Negative comments that are totally ludicrous roll right off my back. A comment that makes me immediately become defensive makes me wonder if there’s some truth behind it. It’s then that I’ll go to my family and friends – those who know me better than anyone – and ask if they feel the same way.
***
And now, after all this Debbie Downer talk, I leave you with this happy picture of puppy Sadie to make you smile. 
Questions of the Day
- Bloggers: Have you ever received a negative comment? How did you deal with it?
- Readers: How you you deal with negativity in your day-to-day life?
![\"Quantcast\"/](\"//pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-1e3-7hOJ_U8Bg.gif\")
Wow I never knew it could get that bad!
But it’s a well known fact just by looking at Youtube and some other blogs that people just have to tear others to shreds for fun. Sometimes there’s nothing you can do about it and just brush it off.
I am continually shocked by some of the comments people leave on blogs. I have seen horrible comments left on some of my favorite blogs and it makes no sense how people feel the urge to go fling crap at other people. I have found many blogs I do not enjoy because it is all negativity. I just move on. I see no reason to comment with negativity.
For a long time I would not comment on blogs at all because I felt my comments were not smart enough, thought out enough or life-changing enough to be taken seriously. That has changed and I am so glad when I get to interact with bloggers now. I am working on it more often too!!
I had a LOT of negativity I could have put all over my blog nonstop (family problems, unemployed, broke, relationship problems, knee injury, no job offers, etc) but I saw no reason to make it be such a downer place. And if I could find something positive and helpful to talk about on my blog it made me feel so much better than.
I have received no negative comments so far but I also do not have a blog that is remotely popular and it has a long way to go on its looks, the pictures involved, the content, move to self-hosted, etc. It will happen slowly and surely and I am okay with that!! Life happens over time and so does my blog!
I love your blog!! I am a pretty perky person but your bubblyness is amazing!! I love it!! Plus you also have inspired me to make smoothies!!! I love them even though we need a new blender (it sparks when I use but for some reason works for the man) LOL!!!
i’m so glad you decided to comment on blogs more. i was also really intimidated to comment at first for the same reasons you expressed, but am so glad i did.
The Sadie pictures are my absolute favourite to go along with such a serious topic. She’s seriously the coolest pup around 😀
I have yet to receive a negative comment, but in the past I have received negative comments on websites I used to have (blogging waaaay back when I was 14) and I just let it roll off my back. There is really no use trying to fight back on the Internet; it’s like trying to empty the pacific ocean with a spoon.
Great post! and I loved Sadie’s commentary 🙂
I love Blog Talk Tuesday! I look forward to it, thanks for doing it! It’s so helpful. 🙂
I have not had a negative comment before, but have seen negative ones left on others’ blogs and it’s definitely hurtful.
I think you provided great tips on how to handle them…you seem to handle those situations with such class!
I am a new blogger so I don’t get a ton of comments (hopefully I will continue to grow!!!!) so the number of negative comments has been dismal but I have gotten some constructive criticism which I loved!
But I think that it is important to deal with negativity in the blogworld and in real-life the same way; people are always going to be haters and we need to only value the opinions of the people we know love and support us. The one’s who are negative usually have their own issues going on or do not know us or completely understand us. I have learned that I blog for me and my readers only; not for those who are negative nancys!
Julie, I enjoy reading your blog more than any other blog. Your style of writing is so enjoyable – I feel like some other bloggers feel like everyone should look up to them.
You addressed readers being negative towards bloggers, bloggers being negative to other bloggers, but how about bloggers being negative towards some of their readers? I’ve seen bloggers (and some of their followers) be mean right back to readers in the comment section by being snarky and just flat out rude for having a different opinion even if the comment wasn’t written to be mean. I’ve noticed lately that a lot of bloggers when commenting are just passive aggressive. Kill them with kindness is one thing – but to purposely do that to irritate them is just immature. You’re now stooping to their level.
Yes, your blog is your castle and your guests should mind their manners, but as the host/hostess, you would never want your guests to feel unwelcome or uncomfortable. Hopefully, if it bothers them that much, they just won’t return next time 🙂
Love love love your blog – so bright and cheery, yet you’re so humble and likable.
yes! i agree with you – bloggers should never make a reader attacked or uncomfortable for expressing an opinion in a polite and thoughtful way. i welcome feedback and comments and would never want anyone to feel like i’m going to attack them!
I love this Blog Talk Tuesday post! I had my first negative comment like within the first 4 months of starting a blog – the anonymous person was so mad that we didn’t get a dog from the pawn but instead bought Salvador from a somewhat “prissy” store here. It hurt my feelings for a few days but then I realized people will say whatever they want. I can’t let anonymous comments on a vegetarian food blog affect my life and my decisions. So THANK YOU for this post and I’m loving this series!! PS. Sadie’s photos and those captions CRACK me up!!!! So cute!
I shared with you that I got my first negative comment on this post: http://shannalikebanana.wordpress.com/2011/08/11/coffee-and-wine-while-pregnant/
But then I realized it wasn’t really negative, more just a dissenting opinion. I didn’t respond, but I’m not going to delete it because I think she brought up a fabulous counterside to my personal stance.
our little talk before my presentation really helped put me at ease, so thank you, shanna! 🙂
Sadie = THE CUTEST! I’m so glad to have discovered your blog, I can tell it’s destined to be a favorite. I like your writing style!
Okay, let’s talk blog negativity. I was a vegan for 3.5 years. Last summer Veg News even named my blog one of the Top 10 Vegan Blogs. I had lots of traffic, lots of readers.
But I got sick. Really sick. I had a team (a herd!) of doctors, nutritionists, and others working with me, and nothing we could do would make me better. Vitamins and supplements were not cutting it and I kept getting sicker. Seeing as how I had always enjoyed stellar health throughout my life it was really terrifying.
I read and studied and thought and cried, and eventually came to the conclusion, that while there are many who can thrive as vegans, I was not one of them. If I had to eat meat to be healthy, then eating meat wasn’t wrong. So I ate meat. And my health rebounded very quickly, and now I’m healthier than ever.
I made the announcement on my blog and in 3 days had over a quarter of a million views, and the hate mail started pouring in. It was horrifying. I published almost all of the vile comments, but I chose not to respond. I just couldn’t answer them all, so I decided not to answer any and let my post speak for itself.
Then the death threats came rolling in. Death threats to me, my family, my friends. Then people began running background checks on me, my family, and my web designer. Articles began circulating in several different languages claiming I was a fictional creation of the meat industry designed to make veganism look bad, or that I was in the pay of the meat industry.
People hacked into several of my person accounts and the death threats just didn’t stop. I live all the way over in Saudi Arabia, so I knew I was probably perfectly safe, but it was horrible. I kept up with everything for a solid week, sitting down at my computer feeling nauseous, terrified to see what was being published…and one day I just broke down in tears to my husband…and he said the simplest, most perfect thing – ‘just shut it down’.
So I did. I shut down my blog for several months and just lived my life. I reveled in my newly regained health and celebrated my happiness. I’ve now returned to blogging and while I still get the occasional hate mail or negative comment it doesn’t phase me in the least. Most of the time, if it’s not too awful, I publish it and respond (most people say I’m too polite to the haters!).
Whew! That was a doozy of a comment, but I really have a lot to say on this topic!
HOLY MOLY!!!!!!!!!
oh my gosh. that is seriously mindblowing. i cannot imagine death threats! i am so sorry you had to go through that but am so, so glad you’ve come out on top. i wish you would’ve been at HLS! you could’ve led our presentation!!
Oh my word. This is horrible!!! I am seriously never going to understand this level of vigilantism about food. I have my own ideas, but try very hard not to “push” them on anybody. I couldn’t even imagine resorting to threats about the topic.
Wow. Just wow!
I appreciate you asking the readers questions too! I love reading blogs but sometimes I feel like the blog clan is so tight that readers are often left out of the discussion. I used to be so sensitive to negative comments, now the older I get (30 on Sunday!!) the less it bothers me. I realize most people are just insecure about their own lives and try to take it out on others to make themselves feel better.
readers are the JAM! feel free to comment ANY time. 🙂
and i totally know what you mean. before i started blogging i always felt slightly excluded from commenting on blogs – because i didn’t have one. but, as a blogger now, i can promise you bloggers LOVE hearing from readers, too! 🙂 thanks for commenting!
This is a great post! I don’t blog myself even though I am a hard core blog lovah but this post is most definitely applicable to LIFE and how to handle those negative comments just as it is to blogging. I think the point you made about negative comments being made having nothing to do with the blogger/offended person but rather with the “mean girl” herself/himself is completely true. I think when other people are unhappy in their own lives and they see someone else’s life satisfied in a way they wish they could have, their immediate reaction is to want that person to hurt like they do so they’ll say something nasty to them. Sad, but in my experience, I have found this to be true almost 99% of the time.
But I think the best part of the post is that quote. And I ABSOLUTELY just wrote it down and put it in my inspirational quotes jar on my work desk. And I wrote it as follows “If you find yourself becoming defensive about something, maybe it’s because you have something to be defensive about.” -Ryan Fagan’s Mom Hopefully she doesn’t mind just being referred as “Ryan Fagan’s Mom” 🙂
she’s a wise one! 🙂 i’m glad you liked her quote! when she said it to me the other day, it was light a lightbulb went off!
I haven’t yet received any negatives comments on my blog (just A LOT of spam…how do you handle that, by the way??), but I definitely think I’d lose it if someone posted a comment like that about my fiance! I’m glad I read this post before getting any kind of negative comments because if/when I do, I’ll definitely be better prepared to handle it!
spam is the worst! i think there are plugins that are supposed to help with that (akismet?) but i typically just do mass deletes of the comments that fall into my spam folders.
Very important topic!!! I’m the type that wants to run and hide if I see or get a negative comment….not too good at just letting it roll off my back. I really, really am loving Blog Talk Tuesdays! 😀
PS Sadie is soooo cute!
I agree with putting your hate blockers on. Some people just have issues. You can’t analyze why-it’s just not worth it.
Oh man, negative comments just bite the big one. I took my first one personally for a long time. Then I figured not everyone is going to like what I put out there and I’m going to have to keep an open mind. I love that you said how it’s usually something more behind the negative comment. They usually have some deeper issues going on adn juts want to be “Debbie Downers”. I do get sad when readers try a receip and it doesn’t quite work out. I almost want to go to their hosue and make it for them. ha! PS- I bought soem Muenster cheese so I can try it with your jam and egg sandwich. 🙂 The light jarlsberg worked fabulously though!
Great post Julie! When reading this, I found it not only relates to my blogging life, but also my personal life. I really agree where you said that usually the people that are rude and negative are people that are dealing with their own personal demons. I feel like I am surrounded by too many of those kinds of people and need to fix that. Maybe I should do a post about that?….
Can you do the IP address lookup on Blogger? I know when people comments they have to put down their E-mail, but I can’t figure out where it is :C
i’m not sure! i use wordpress. i wish i could help more!
Random question Julie:
How do you cook your oatmeal? It always looks so creamy and delicious!
Also, love the blog, keep up the great posts!
i usually just cook it in the microwave with water and then stir in some almond milk when it comes out. my mom cooks a big batch of old fashioned oats on the stove top following the directions on the container (with water) which is how my oats yesterday were cooked!
Negative comments are hard! But I have done the things you suggest, I NEVER respond and I have blocked IP addresses so that it goes to spam and never shows up on the blog.
I think my favorite part about this post is Sadie’s pics/commentary. Brings such a happy note to a frustrating (right word?) topic! She is such a cutie… I really should take more pics of my dog! I’m sure she’d be as wise as Sadie is.
What an eye-opening topic! thanks for sharing, this will help with negative comments for me on my site 🙂
Great post! I have been a blogger for over a year now. I actually have two blogs, my personal one that is closed to outsiders and my craft blog. I have yet to receive any negative feedback on my blog but a person who I thought was a friend said some very unkind comments to me and actually accused me of something that I did not do (after all it is a craft blog!) I held onto this for a long time but I did finally come to realize that she has her own issues and saying hurtful things to me was just a way of being mean and getting out her frustrations. I still think about it but letting go is the key! Love your series and glad to hear that you had a great time at the convention!
This was a great post. Really thought out! I agree that in most cases negative comments should be ignored. Usually they just want to get a rise out of you or start something.
Hi Julie,
I just wanted to say, I love your blog, it is now part of my daily routine. You are always so positive and I absolutely ADORE the bubble comments on Sadie’s pics. I LOL everytime. Keep up the great work..
Wow, great post! I only have a private blog that I keep for my kids. I would love to have a healthy living blog, but figure I have nothing interesting to say, and of course I also am afraid of negative feedback as I’ve seen some bloggers go through it. I LOVE the healthy living blog community, though. It really has changed so much of my perspective on things and I love and value all the new things I learn from you guys. I am blown away by how sneaky people can be by leaving regular nice comments and then leaving a mean, anonymous comments, too. It always seems though, that like you said, you never know what someone is going through and usually you have to just chalk it up to their personal problem and you weren’t really the issue at all.
Love the Sadie pics! I was never a dog person because I didn’t grow up with one, although my husband is. We compromised (also because of my past allergies with dogs, which strangely went away) and got a Shih Tzu however he loves bigger dogs. Seeing all your posts on Sadie is making me really want a bigger dog now. She is so adorable! 🙂
Great post! I haven’t encountered negativity on my blog (it’s still so new), but have in my personal life. I can have a very quick temper and when I was younger, it would cause me to really flare up in defense. But now that I’m older, I let it roll off my back. I can’t change someone else’s perceptions and most of the time the negativity originates from things that I can not do anything about. I can only smile and continue to lead my own happy life and hope the other person can find their own clarity.
I have had a few nasty comments and like Cait, I try to just ignore them.
It’s not always easy though. I DO kinda enjoy the poo idea, though. Sounds like a solution to a shitty problem.
A little piece of advice my parents gave us when growing up “blowing someone elses candle out doesn’t make yours burn any brighter”. How true. Saying negative things just to be mean only makes you look bad. Keep up your positive attitude Julie, it is inspiring.
I LOOOOOVE that. So true!
just posted this on my twitter and facebook pages. seriously AWESOME quote!
Hey PBF! Forget the haters! Just wanted to say I enjoy reading your blog daily and the pictures you put up of Sadie always bring a smile to my face! Keep up the blog goodness!!
loved this!! i know this is so weird, but Sadie looks like she belongs in your little family. haha not saying you or Ryan look like Sadie, but she kind of looks like you two? maybe it’s her light coloring, or maybe I’m just crazy! either way, she’s too cute for words.
i always say i wish i had sadie’s body. 🙂 i think she’s slammin’! 😀
bahahahha! she is quite the model, but it might be difficult adjusting to walking on all fours.
I loved your presentation this weekend! I have never really had to deal with negative commenters myself, but I learned so much! Great to meet you!
great post! i think this illustrates a lot of the troubles of the internet and online anonymity–or at least the illusion of it. it’s a great topic to address because i think a lot of times people feel that since you don’t personally know people online, what you say to them can’t hurt. well, it does, and it’s important to remember that so we can build blogs that don’t encourage negativity but deal with it graciously if/when it occurs.
It’s so important to be positive in the face of negativity. That’s when positivity is the most important, in fact! Usually if someone says something negative to or about me and it upsets me, I think, well why am I upset about this, and is it true? If it’s true, I try to change it, and if it’s not, I remind myself that I am a strong, confident lady! Isn’t that what our blogosphere is about anyways? 🙂
Thanks for posting this, Julie. I’m too new to the blog world to have dealt with negative blog comments, but I definitely deal with negativity in my own life (who doesn’t?!)
I actually wrote a post about this just yesterday: I’m starting to realize that crappy things are ALWAYS going to happen (people will be rude/mean, work will be stressful, etc), but it’s how I react to those situations that will make all the difference. I can take a comment to heart and be upset by it and let it affect my daily life, or I can let it roll off my back and move on. I can freak out about all the things that are going wrong, or I can focus on what’s going right (and come up with solutions for the other stuff). That attitude change has made all the difference in the world!
So so true Hillary, your comment has helped me with something, so thank you!
I awoke feeling a little “off” this morning. Tummy ache and headache, dizzy, etc. I have to tell you that seeing that last photo of the puppy Sadie made me smile from ear to ear. Thank you.
And this post is very informative! I just started my blog a few months ago and I am lucky that I haven’t had any negative comments yet…but this helps me to prepare for them and handle them in a professional manner.
I think there needs to be a distinction between feedback that is negative as in it’s mean – and negative as in it’s just a critical and different idea. Because sometimes the latter can be called negative when it’s really just different.
I’ve seen people post a criticism (not mean, just a different opinion or whatnot) and then get attacked. It really bothers me when this happens.
It’s like if your comment isn’t a big hug for the blogger, and if it expresses a different viewpoint or such, then suddenly the person commenting is a horrible, terrible person. It could be said in a calm, rational, reasonable way – but since it is a disagreement, then suddenly it’s “negative” and the person is cast as evil. I think it’s wrong when this happens. People have a right to an alternate opinion and it doesn’t mean they are negative.
I agree that it is never right to be outright mean and nasty. But if you state your opinion, and it doesn’t happen to be a kiss-ass kind of comment, then why do you end up being attacked for that?
I enjoy a lot of blogs (this one especially!!) but I think people should feel like they can express their personal thoughts and feelings – and if it is a criticism of the blogger, without being mean, then it should be welcomed not condemned. It seems sometimes all the comments are just a big love fest (which is great), but it needs to be okay to have a different view, too. There can be a fine line on this for sure, but I have seen it happen more than once that someone states an opinion and then they get attacked for it. Seeing someone be outright mean is sad – but it’s sad, too, when someone gets attacked for sharing different thoughts.
No attacks, no nastiness – ever. I agree with that.
But it’s okay to have different ideas and share them in a civil way. Being different, thinking differently helps us grow and learn. We can be different and be nice about it at the same time – that goes for the original commenter and then the people who respond to them. I think some bloggers, and others who are commenting in return, sometimes need to remember this. Just saying! 🙂
And love Sadie!!!!! You both are like big balls of sunshine. Again, just saying. 😉
yes, yes, yes. as a blogger, i really do welcome differing opinions and thoughts that may disagree with something i’ve said. it can be hard b/c sometimes other people (not the blogger) will jump all over the commenter. i think that’s when it’s the bloggers job to jump in and make the conversation respectful and civil. people should feel okay about conveying differing thoughts without the fear of being ostracized.
LOVE! Like others have said, this info applies to life, too. Great way to start a Tuesday 🙂
I really loved this presentation @ HLS and I especially loved the sadie slides… every one of them made me laugh or smile 🙂
thanks dani! it was so nice to meet you!
I just adore your blog. And I couldn’t agree more with what Ryan’s mom told you. . it’s SO true.
I feel like most of the time these negative commenters/emailers/etc just want a reaction (and probably have some deep insecurity/jealousy issues) and by not giving them one, it gets under their skin even more.
Great post Julie!
I attended your panel and absolutely loved it! You guys managed to keep me entertained, give me useful info and of course provided us all with adorable pictures of Sadie, which is always a win in my book!
thanks, jamie! i’m so glad you enjoyed it!
I’ve received one negative comment but it was more of a personal attack and nothing to do with the blog. Surprisingly, it did not affect me as much as I thought it would, because I really feel bad for people who have so much hate in their life that they would go out of their way to write something negative about others.
I used to work in hotels during college and I would talk to guests who were so rude at check-in that instead of getting upset, I felt really bad for them. It had nothing to do with me because we just met, it has to do more about their life and what they are going thru.
wow – what a crazy story about that girl! good for you for rising above 🙂
I love your line ‘well aren’t you a peach?’ haha
This is such a great discussion because it’s not something that will not only improve you as a person when it comes to handling the situation, but negative comments just HURT. I’ve received comments before that made me want to quit blogging as well and I got to the point where on tumblr my anon is actually off now. I have no reason/want to everr turn that back on…I had one of those days before where idk if it was the same anon but once one anon said something my inbox became full of hate.
True story: When I just NOW realized that it was Tuesday, I squealed out loud bc that means Blog Talk Tuesday!
Luckily, I haven’t had any negative comments on my blog (I need more readers before I can make anyone angry), but I have been a part of wedding and baby community boards where I have found very negative comments. Like Sadie, I think we should send them poo 🙂
Love the hater blockers on Sadie! Wonderful post!
Julie, I really loved this session at HLS and I think it was a really good time to address it. I haven’t had *much* negativity on my blog, but I have had a bit of snarkiness. For me, it really helps to think of the people who made the comments and where they’re probably coming from, in order to keep positive. If someone is super snarky, I think about how they probably weren’t raised to be respectful to others and have probably been mistreated verbally or otherwise and is taking that mistreatment out on others (including me). If someone is mean in a nasty way, I think of that person as someone who has a lot of hate in their heart. The fact that they’re focusing that hate at me or another blogger is simply a matter of chance. By chance they happened upon the blog and decided to take that hatred out on the blogger. If it wasn’t me, it would have been someone else. I hope I am able to keep this perspective if I’m ever in the same boat as some of the bloggers who have been the victims of such nastiness. Thanks for following up an awesome session with a really great post!
great comment, and i agree! also, i enjoyed eating lunch with you on friday. 🙂 i only wish we had more time to hang out!
oh Julie, you posted this at a gooood time for me.
two weeks ago, when I finally got the guts to post about my breakup (in a post that was WAY nicer than my ex even deserved), I got completely torn apart. by commenters who were my ex’s friends and my commenters who were anonymous.
the best part? I was sneaky too (!!), and by looking up the IP address, I figured out the poster was someone who was my “good” friend.
rooough.
I’ve had lots of comments come from my “friends” from outside the blog world, including judgements saying the blog is an attention-seeker.
the moral of the story? I get that we’re putting our lives out there, and not everyone will receive it well. sometimes, people are quick to judge those who lay it all on the line. and the ones who DO judge and say the hurtful things aren’t the ones we need to keep in our lives. 🙂
the end!
and Julie, I get that sometimes it’s hard to stay positive. but I’m so glad you do, ’cause it makes it easier for the rest of us. 😉
I read that post and you honestly were so respectful to your ex…that was so frustrating to watch you get slammed by people who obviously knew you in “real life” and were being jerks. You kept your class though and handled it really well! 🙂
So true. I’ve only had one negative comment and I knew the commenter. They have lots of personal problems but it didn’t hurt less. It’s hard.
But seeing the difference between criticism and mean is key for me and for any blogger. People will judge any decision but knowing yourself and why you are doing it is key to keep true to yourself.
My blog is still a work in progress – so I don’t get many comments yet, but the ones I have gotten have been nice 🙂
I think it’s easy to be jealous of others success and some people don’t deal with it well. You seem like a very nice person with a good life; a girl who has got her “ish” together. Haters gonna hate, and you have a good attitude about it.
BTW – I really love/appreciate this series and OMG BABY SADIE!!!