Tuesdays = Cardio = Sweaty
Another super schweaty workout!
Today’s workout began on the treadmill with this 25-minute doozy:
| Minutes | Incline | Pace |
| 0-5 | 5.0 | 3.8 |
| 5-10 | 1.0 | 6.5 |
| 10-20 | 1.0 | Alternating 4.5 for one minute with 8.0 for one minute |
| 20-25 | 8.0 | 4.0 |
…followed by 10 minutes on the stair master and 15 minutes on the elliptical.
Once my workout was done, I headed upstairs to find Ryan in the weights room. As I was walking up the stairs, he was walking down the stairs – perfect timing! I motioned for him to go in front of me, saying, “Ladies first,” because I’m nice like that. 
Ryan then told me that he learned that as a man, he should walk in front of a woman walking down the stairs in case she falls, so he could be there to brace her fall. I then said, “So I guess you walk behind the woman when she’s walking up the stairs in case she falls backward, right?”
His reply? “No. We walk behind her walking up the stairs for the view.” How charming. He’s a butt guy fo’ sho’. (And, as a proud member of the IBTC, thank goodness.)
Breakfast
When it came time to decide what to make for breakfast this morning, the decision was an easy one thanks to all of the fresh summer berries I had on hand.
Oatmeal and summer berry parfait, please!
I layered Greek yogurt with cold oatmeal, raspberries, blueberries and sliced strawberries to make the parfait.
It looked like the Fourth of July!
Chivalry
My discussion with Ryan this morning about walking in front of a woman who is walking down stairs to ensure her safety got me thinking about chivalry on my morning walk with Sadie.
I consider myself a fairly independent person, but I’ve always, always appreciated traditional chivalrous gestures. I think they’re polite, respectful and courteous and should Ryan and I ever have a son, I want to raise a boy who opens doors for women, offers his coat to a woman who is cold and helps carry luggage at the airport. (Of course I would also want to raise a helpful and courteous daughter.)
During my family’s vacation to Europe last May, my sister and I were constantly impressed with one of the husbands on our trip. He was incredibly attentive to his wife, always helped people load and unload luggage and went the extra mile to make sure his wife was safe and comfortable. Leslie and I actually asked him if his parents engrained that in him or if it was an effort on his part. He said it “wasn’t an option.” Apparently his dad taught him that women are to be treated with respect and adoration.
While I appreciate it when Ryan opens a door for me, I feel totally awkward when guys open and close car doors for me. It makes me feel pretentious and just plain silly (unless they simply beat you to the car door after a date and open it for you to hop in). Still, I’m all for chivalrous acts. I don’t think they belittle women, but rather show that a man respects a woman enough to go out of his way to help her.
Question of the Morning
- Do you appreciate chivalrous gestures? Why or why not?
![\"Quantcast\"/](\"//pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-1e3-7hOJ_U8Bg.gif\")
I only moved to the US in November, but one of the first things I noticed about the men here is how courteous and chivalrous they were, unlike the men from back home. I love it and dont think it belittles or decreases a females independence, rather I think its a reflection and showing respect.
I appreciate most things chivalrous, but if I’m in front, I hold the door for men. Part if it is just about being polite. I also *try* to mind my Ps and Qs. 🙂
That sounds like such a good (and I’m sure sweaty) workout! And what a good reward to finish it with, a nice cold fresh breakfast.
I used to feel totally awkward when a guy was chivalrous, but I have learned to really like it. It’s rare to find someone who has the kindness and decency to pull out all the stops — so when it happens, I love it 🙂
I’m pretty independent, but some wise woman once told me that it serves men to let them serve you. So I let them carry boxes for me sometimes 😉
I appreciate chivalry, but I don’t think it’s a one-way street. Like your friend said, it’s about respect and adoration — and I respect and adore my boyfriend as well. So while I do love him treating me to dinner once in a while, I do the same thing for him now and then. We respect and adore each other in different ways.
Hahah I had to Google “IBTC.” At work – I hope my IT guy gets to see that one. 🙂
I am a chivalry-loving feminist, to be sure. In my opinion, an honest man making a chivalrous gesture isn’t doing it just “because she’s a woman,” but rather to be respectful and courteous and just an all-around good human being. And that’s sexy, any way you slice it.
hahahahaha i wonder what the IT guy will think? 🙂
My husband and I have very traditional roles in our marraige and I love when he acts chivalrous… but then again I am very independent as well so there is a definetly a line when it is cute and sweet vs. when it is awkward. Like I totally agree about the closing and opening of car door thing you mentioned!
Love the pretty parfait. Everything looks better in a wine glass!
On chivalry, while I consider myself very independent, like you, and mostly non-traditional, I’m a big fan of chivalrous gestures….Quite honestly, I’ve just met one too many “jerks” and I fully appreciate men who treat women special! The man that sweeps me off my feet (let’s hope soon ;-)) will definitely show me a little chivalry every now and then!
I love chivalry, and I don’t think it degrades women at all. I love when my boyfriend Max “protects” me when it is really crowded (like in a concert). I also think it goes the other way around though. I try to do nice things for him, like randomly bake cookies.
P.S. I am also part of the IBTC, and I am so glad that Max is a leg man or I would be screwed. On the bright side I don’t need to wear a bra if I don’t feel like it hahaha, if that even is a bright side…
I love chivalrous gestures! I wish more guys were raised that way – I’m extremely independent, but there is nothing nicer than being adored and respected.
The absolute cutest act of chivalry I’ve ever seen was while sitting in an ice cream shop on a corner – both walls were completely windows so you could see outside. Out of the corner of my eye I see a very very old couple leaving the movie theater… they had to walk so slow it took them enough time to walk around the corner that I had placed my order, consumed my order, and paid for my order. As I paid, I saw that they had finally made it to their car parked in the handicap spot with the ramp. The gentleman walked his wife down the ramp and all the way around the car to her side where he opened the door for her before taking another 5min walk back around to his side. He easily could have just gotten in his side of the car first – which was closest, but he took the time to walk her around and it was absoluetly beautiful 🙂 They were still SO in love after so many years!
I absolutely LOVE chivalry. I don’t see it as an independence deterrent. When I was dating my previous boyfriend, on our first date he stood up when I came into the restaurant. It was SO sweet!
I love chilvalry, and it is not dead! My husband and I have been married for a year and a half but have been together for seven and a half years. I cannot count on one hand how many times I have opened my own car door when he and I are together. Since our first date he has opened the car door for me. When we go into a building he opens the door for me, then continues to hold it for any other man or woman to enter. I am not sure where he gets it from but I love his sweet actions. I love that Neil puts me on the inside and he walks closest to the street. I love that he places his hand on the small of my back to lead me into a room. I love that he gives me his hand to walk down a set of bleechers. We will for sure be teaching our future children about chivalry and how to appreciate a man’s kindness in that respect.
im all about forcing my husband to do stuff for me… of course its probably not chivalrious when you’re strong arming them…
I agree with you, Julie. I think we should ALL be kind and respectful to each other, but I definitely appreciate when a man show some chivalry towards a woman. My husband is always kind and considerate to me. And I, in turn, show him the respect that I believe he deserves. It works both ways! =)
Hi, this is my first time commenting =) I love your blog!
I think there is a difference between a man doing something for a woman (and vice versa) because they think that the person can’t do it for themselves = wrong
Or, when my husband does sweet things for me because he loves me. Like opening up the car door on date night (b/c he knows it makes me uncomfortable otherwise), helping out with my luggage, holding my hand in the dark etc. =)
yay for commenting!! 🙂 and i agree – i think it shows love, too.
With all this talk about male chivalry, what about the woman who unlocks the driver’s side door when her date lets her in the car first? (although now that might be a little different with automatic locks and what not.) my father always taught me that a good woman does that. i guess he watched A Bronx Tale one too many times 😉
I’m all for chivalry for the most part. Opening doors, pulling out chairs, it’s all nice. When I was in Europe though, I definitely noticed they go further with the chivalry thing and it did make me a bit uncomfortable at times. I think anything out of the ordinary makes me feel belittled. It’s hard to draw the line though.
I’ve asked Austin where he learned it (besides his amazing dad of course!) and he said they learned a lot of it as pledges in their SAE Phoenix! Don’tcha just love a “true gentleman?” 🙂
I love little gestures, they go such a long way! Anytime someone does something a simple thank you goes far.
Absolutely … and I HATE women who say … “well I like this but I hate that and he should never do THIS”. It’s a little like a guy coming home and saying …. “I love when you clean the kitchen but I really would rather you sponge off the counter like THIS and by the way when you bring in the mail everyday could you put it in the office like THAT”. And before women jump all over me …. it IS KIND OF THE SAME THING. Hold on ….. think about it for a second. Both examples don’t HURT a person physically and they are both just PREFERENCES. But sometimes having preferences on people’s behaviors that are ALREADY a privilege NOT a RIGHT … can backfire. Sometimes I think people have gotten a little RIGHTEOUS about their right to free speech. We of course should always exercise free speech … but sometimes its a little “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” …. LOVE THAT BOOK by the way :-). Sometimes a nice please and thank you with NO NAGS OR DEMANDS can be a refreshingly fresh breath of air. Pick your battles people … a nice gesture can sometimes be JUST a nice gesture. And if we get all nit picky about it … they might just stop doing it all together! So yes … I like chivalry … and if it’s done with good intention … then all he will hear from me is a THANK YOU. Sometimes you just gotta suck it up! 🙂
Wow, someone is on a rant. Btw you kinda dont make any sense!
Ok. I will make it simple for ya. Chivalry is a gift. No one HAS to be chivalrous. Take it or leave it. But don’t expect to be able to CONTROL it. I just get annoyed when people try and pick and choose behaviors from other people … especially when it comes with good intention. There is enough BAD behavior in this world … if someone wants to do something nice or chivalrous … just TAKE IT ALREADY. Just my opinion … not a rant .. just apparently not yours.
I love chivalrous acts and they certainly make me feel special and loved. Although I would much rather Peter help me with something other than my car door too.
And our two boys would get along great. “The view” comment is so something Peter would say. He’s a butt guy all the way as well!
What a great question! I think we all want to be offered those small chivalrous gestures. The guy doesn’t have to throw his coat down over a puddle but opening the door or offering a hand with groceries or whatever are absolutely appreciated!
If I ever have a son, I hope to raise him with those values because you just don’t see it enough. I was working the other day and helped a few kids find books they were looking for. The oldest boy couldn’t have been more than nine or ten. But he said “Thank you, miss. Have a nice night.” I was totally blown away-
And I complimented his mom, for sure! 🙂
Why does there seem to be a lack of these guys? The chivalrous ones AND the IBTC members. Where does one find a great guy like your Ryan, Julie?
I LOVE chivalry! Which is one of the reasons hardcore feminists bother me. There is nothing wrong with a man opening a door for you or helping you carry your luggage. Being from Texas, it’s hard to find a man who DOESN’T open your door for you but when I went to school in Missouri, they were few and far between.
I agree with the car door thing. My brother-in-law always, and i mean EVERY TIME, opens the car door for my sister and they have been married for almost 4 years. My boyfriend does it on occasion, and I mean very randomly so I like that, it’s always a nice surprise..but if he were to do it EVERY TIME, I would get seriously annoyed.
I am a pretty independent person as well, so I tend to do lots of things on my own, even with my fiance around. He gets a little annoyed because he wants to do certain things for me (carry grocery bags, open doors, etc.). I think chivalry is nice, but sometimes I feel uncomfortable when he starts doing really simple things for me that I can easily do myself…it makes me feel incapable. It’s often a point of discussion in our relationship, so I’m working on letting go a bit. 🙂
First of all, good for Ryan for being honest. Loved his response.
Second of all, I am super independent, but I love the traditional chivalrous gestures—at least within reason. I wouldn’t want my boyfriend opening the door for me every. single. day (like, when we’re going to the grocery store), but I do appreciate when he helps me with my bags, offers me his sweatshirt, etc. I like being cared for and about—who doesn’t?!
I consider myself to be independent but also appreciate chivalrous gestures. Opening doors, standing up to greet a new person at the table, allowing a woman to walk into a place first, etc. Unfortunately my boyfriend is terrible at all of the above! He’s gotten better but just wasn’t raised to do any of these things.
I also appreciate good manners in general – I was brought up to be very polite company and when I recognize that life skill in someone else, it pleases me.
I definitely appreciate chivalry. While traveling in Italy last year, I had the misfortune of a huge bag and lots of steps…men came out of the woodwork and would carry my bag up and down steps. I loved it!
I love chivalry! My husband is the type who always offers to help the hostess when we are at parties, and usually opens the doors for me! I love it because I never saw my dad doing it for my mom, and that always made me sad. My cousin is getting married next month and her fiance is the least chivalrous man I’ve ever met. He’ll let doors slam in her face, never offers to help, etc. It makes me appreciate my husband soooo much!
Chivalry is not an option for the guys I date. I was brought up to expect my door to be opened and the heavy things to be lifted, and maybe that’s old-fashioned, but I think it’s the way things should be. I think there’s some times when chivalry is outdated- for instance, expecting your boyfriend to pay for you every time- but in general it’s the little things that show how much they appreciate you!
I can definitely appreciate chivalry. I think it’s become pretty rare, which is sad. So when I stumble across someone who opens doors or protects me from traffic, I definitely take notice. Love it!
My boyfriend is all about chilvarly in a non-overwhelming way. He always opens doors for me, offers me his jacket, etc. I love that we have a such a mutual respect for each other.
About the car door, he always opens is for me. I used to reach to open it myself but he would “yell” at me. So now I let him walk with me to my door and open it…but in return I always try to lean over and open his door from the inside. 🙂
I am so old fashioned so I love men who are chivalrous! My husband does a great job at it, he is awesome. And my dad definitely taught my brother to treat women right. If he ever hit any of us girls when we were little, you better believe he was in a lot more trouble than any of us! I hope my future sons will be the same way.
I must say I have a new found appreciation for chivalry. Just the other day I was having a father/daughter day and my Dad stopped to fill up the car with gas. While we were there a woman pulled up dressed in a formal and it was obvious that she had spent some time getting ready so my dad offered to help her fill up her car with gas. (we also live in Texas and it was reading 108 in our car) She yelled at him for a few minutes that she was fully able to fill her car up with gas and she did not need a man to help her. My dad then calmly explained that he was a father of 3 daughters and he knew exactly what went into getting ready for a formal event and he was merely offering to help a kind gesture so she did not ruin her hair, make up and dress. the girl then got in her car and sped off with out filling up for gas. I just laughed and so did my Dad!!
I have grown up with a father, step brother and cousins who are all very chivalrous, and they do not mean it in a belittling way, but as a form of respect. Now they do not open my door every time I get in the car, that would be weird, but on the rare Sunday morning when we all get to go to church together I will totally accept them opening my door or late at night walking me to my car because it is right and safe thing for a guy to do. At the same time I show them respect. In my world chivalry is kind gesture the is appreciated and brightens my day just a little 🙂
what a peach! you should’ve sprayed the gas on her dress. 😉 okay, maybe not, but i think that was so kind of your dad to offer.
I totally agree with you! I love having the door opened for me, or a jacket offered, but the car door is too much. It just isn’t efficient, and I end up feeling awkward while I sit there.
I’ve also heard of husbands pumping their wife’s gas for them. I’ve had several girls from my town tell me that since they got married they have never pumped their own gas. There husbands take their cars on Sunday and fill them up. I think that is crazy! What do you think? Does Ryan do this?
i think i’m going to have to tell ryan about that one. 😉
My husband dosnt quite do that, but if we are together and I am driving and need gas, he will usually get out and pump it for me. I think it shows his love for me even if you may think its overkill.
Yet again I feel so blessed to live in a state where we don’t pump our own gas!
what state is that?
Oregon! We have no sales tax and we have gas station attendants. I love visiting other places, but don’t think I could live anywhere else 🙂
THIS guy’s viewpoint: chivalry is nowhere close to dead. I DO appreciate a woman who is independent, but I also like one that isn’t resistant to chivalry. These manners were practically pounded into me by my dad, and I constantly find myself asking “What would Dad think?” when interacting with females. I’ve even been known to chastise other guys when I catch them slippin’ up. So, you can bet your ass I’m opening doors(cars too!), walking the road side of the sidewalk, and pulling out chairs. 😉 KUDOS to Ryan!!
mark, i think you may now have your pick of any one of the single ladies who have commented on this post. 🙂
I don’t like the car door thing either. My husband’s dad does it for his mom, which I think is cute though.
But, sometimes I wish my husband was more chivalrous that he is. I had one of those hand baskets at Publix the other day, and he picked up 5 cans of tuna and put them in the basket I was carrying which was already full. I was like…really? You can’t carry 5 cans of tuna so my already heavy basket isn’t heavier?
hahaha that made me laugh. 🙂 that’s when i would hand the basket to ryan and say “thank you!” and keep walking, adding MORE things to the basket. 🙂
I appreciate it for sure. Although I can see that its also indicative of other behaviours I feel like it is a sign of respect and isn’t specific to one gender.
Just last week a really young man (about 19 or so) held the door open for me, and then the inside door, then the elevator. I made a joke to him about it being the never ending task and he replied “its just how I was raised” so adorable 🙂
I an a fan of chivalry. I am super independent too, but whenever Adam does something like give me his coat or open a door for me. I still melt just a little. I agree about the car door thing though- that is strange to me. I think that chivalry is certainly dying, but I am lucky that Adam is sweet like that. He even walks of the road side of the street in case a car gets out of control. He also likes to sit facing the door when we are out so he can spot danger if it walks in. That may also be the cop in him…who knows!
I do enjoy chivalry gestures to a point but I don’t like seeing when guys over do it for a lady.
Yay for chivalry! As long as it’s done out of respect and thoughfulness and not “oh just let me do it” or you’re welcome now you owe me.”
My husband and I have been together nine years and married almost two. His family even laughs at him and calls him whipped because he always opens my door (car, restaurant, etc)–so it wasn’t instilled in him from them. He always just laughs and says he has always done that for women and he certainly wouldn’t change it for me. He also likes to add that chivalry was a great wingman–it always helped him with the ladies 😉 I roll my eyes but it proves positive reinforcement works better than negative! LOL
And I think it’s important as a recipient to also be respectful and courteous AND to have some lady chivalry when you can. Say thank you genuinely when your door is opened, don’t expect it or have an attitude about it if it’s not one time. When I’m by myself and there is someone else who could use a hand (lady with a stroller in a doorway, etc) I try to help, too.
Being aware of your surroundings, keeping good intentions and mutual respect are defintely the things I value.
I’m totally in your boat – I love chivalry to an extent, but I’m not about to sit in the car and wait for him to open the door for me. More than anything, it seems like a waste of time! I mean, I’m perfectly able and capable of opening my own door, so why am I going to sit there and wait for him to do it for me? But if we’re walking to the car and he beats me to the door, I think it’s great. He totally walks on the sidewalk between me and the cars, or if there’s a guy walking on the street, he’ll usually move himself so he’s walking between us to “protect” me =) It’s pretty cute.
Team IBTC!! (well, not right now, I’m nursing)
I’m all for independence of women and all, but that doesn’t necessarily exclude chivalry! I definitely appreciate it, especially considering that nowadays gentlemen are hard to find. 😉
I love chivalry, and my boy-friend is very strict to the “it’s the right thing to do” opinion when it comes to it. It’s funny sometimes he’ll even open the car door for our girl-friends because it’s just such a habit for him to do now. I make sure to always be polite and say thank you anytime he goes out of his way to do something for me because THAT’S the right thing to do. I hate when girls have a good boy-friend and allow every nice thing he does to go unnoticed *grrr*.
“itty bitty tittie committee” 😉
I’m a fan of chivalry! <3 I think it's sweet.
I think that when you are in a relationship with someone, they get that special part of you… My fiance Tyler is extra goofy with me, romantic with me, and so caring towards me… & although he is nice to others… no one gets that part of him like I do… so I love that! I think doing things like protecting the girl, opening car doors every once and a while, etc. are sweet.
If it was some random guy doing that for me… I'd probally not like it… but when Ty does things like that.. it makes me feel special!
ps. what is IBTC?
I believe it’s the Itty Bitty Titty Committee? 😀
I’m all for just plain respecting other people. I’m like you with the car door thing and it makes me feel weird, but I would appreciate it (same as pulling out my chair). But I hold doors for men or women coming in behind me and that sorta thing. I think it’s just respectful! And saying please, thank you, waving when people let you in when you’re edriving, etc. I love polite and kind acts! It makes the day so much better.
As for chivalry, it’s greatly appreciated. My bf said he sleeps on the side closer to the door to make sure I’m safe (just in case). I had never known this was why and I thought it was so sweet! But I would hate if I couldn’t do similar, thoughtful things for him.
This actually reminds me of a discussion that comes up quite often among women where I live (DC). Usually, on the bus and the metro, you will find plenty of twenty-something men sitting down and pretending to look down as an older person gets on the bus or a woman with children. It is (almost) always the women who offer to give up their seats.
Some of my male friends talk about “equality” between men and women as the reason…but I don’t see it as a matter of equality as much as a matter of decency.
your parfait looks soooo pretty AND yummy 🙂
I love when guys are chivalrous. So HOT.
I love parfaits! They are the perfect breakfast or snack!
Just reading about your workout makes me tired!
I am a pretty independent girl, but I do appreciate a chivalrous act every now and then.