See all those bags? I managed to bring them inside in only one trip! I have a weird aversion to making two trips to and from the car with groceries and will nearly throw out my back trying to bring everything in at once.
One trip, baby!
Lunch
I am killing my goal of consuming five servings of fruits and vegetables today. Four down!
Today’s lunch featured a tuna salad wrap with arugula and tomato slices and roasted green beans on the side.
Loving all the fresh produce!
I also had a small bowl of ricotta cheese topped with a sliced plum, slivered almonds and pumpkin pie spice on the side.
And now for a little book talk!
I finished reading Open yesterday and have one major thing to discuss that I took away from the book, so let’s get to it!
Control What You Can Control
Control what you can control.
What a totally simple yet incredibly difficult concept to grasp.
How much time do we spend freaking out about things that are completely outside of our control? How many hours do we waste worrying about what that nasty coworker is going to say today? How many “what ifs” do we put ourselves through day in and day out, worrying about the worst possible outcomes?
On Saturday as I was reading Andre Agassi’s biography, Open, I found myself rereading one passage over and over again. It detailed a conversation between Agassi and his trainer, Gil.
Agassi just finished reading an article about himself in a New York newspaper. The article tore him apart and said Agassi “simply isn’t a champion,” and caused him to spiral into a series of self-doubt.
“What if he’s right?” Agassi questions about the author’s statement.
“What if I never win this tournament? What if I always look back on this moment with regret?”
His trainer sees Agassi’s reaction to the article and nonchalantly says, “Control what you can control.”
I dog-eared the page and went back and read it again yesterday after I finished the book.
Rather than put time, energy and effort into worrying about things that are so completely out of our control, imagine how much better off we’d be if we poured all of that energy into something that we can control. Something positive. Something that will actually get us somewhere.
I remember when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I felt completely helpless and utterly out of control. I worried. I cried.
And then I did something.
My sister and I poured time and energy into doing things for my mom to make her journey easier. We made her a chemo countdown calendar where she could mark a big, victorious “X” on the days where she received chemotherapy treatment after she returned home. We reached out to friends and relatives and put together a recipe book complete with kind notes from the people who love her most.
Did this help us gain control over the cancer my mom was fighting? Absolutely not. But it did make us feel like we were doing something and had a little bit of control over my mom’s happiness.
There are things that affect us every day that are out of our control and it is so incredibly hard not to dwell on them and worry non-stop. I loved the simple thought of controlling what we can control and focusing on making the changes we can make to improve our lives without dwelling on the issues outside of our control.
So simple, yet so hard.
Question of the Afternoon
- What is something completely out of your control that you’ve spent too much time worrying about lately?
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I am just like you, I will do whatever it takes to not have to go back to the car for a second trip. I’m a one trip kind of girl!
“Control what you can control.” <- That is amazing. Thank you so, so much for sharing. I think we could all use the daily reminder. 🙂
On a lighter note, I have complete lunch envy. Your veggie-filled meal looks delectable.
Such a good point. Thanks for the reminder, Julie!
Needed to here this today. thank you for posting!!
🙂 hope you’re able to let some worries go, allison.
I live in a 3rd floor walk-up apartment, so I hate having to make multiple trips to and from the car to unload groceries. I feel like a pack mule loading up as much as possible for the fewest amount of trips, haha. I got plums at the grocery store on Friday and had one yesterday – so refreshing! I love the “control what you can control” message. I’m definitely a big worrier (right now mostly about finding a job for the summer between semesters) and have to remind myself there’s only so much I can do.
I feel like I could have written this response! I not only live in a 3rd floor walk-up, but I have a major worry problem too. “Control what you can control” and “There’s only so much I can do.”<- I'm going to write them both down!
I know you definitely understand my desire not to go up and down 3 flights of steps loaded down with groceries more times than I have to 🙂 I like your idea of writing those phrases down. Might be time for a sticky note or two on my mirror!
Such a great point. Way easier said than done, but something I think we can all work on. This one comes in to play a ton with pregnancy and new moms…so so so much is out of your control, but we want so badly to control everything. 🙂
oh gosh, i can only imagine!
So true! I had a baby a few months ago and learned the hard way that you can plan as much as you want, but things don’t usually turn out the way you envisioned. This quote is great, I’m printing it out to pin on the fridge 🙂
I used to worry about everything so your message definitely hits home. What ifs ruled my life, but now I try my best to focus on the things that I can directly impact. There have been so many times where I worried or obessed over something happening that never did. That kind of thinking takes the joy out of the present moment, and that’s no way to live!
I’m applying to grad schools right now and, during this harrowing process, it’s something I have to remind myself of daily. Now that I’ve submitted all of my forms/applications/letters of rec/etc, the ball’s in someone else’s court…. I just have to wait it out!
best of luck to you, jordan!
I really liked this post, Julie! So often we dwell and stress ourselves out about circumstances that are completely outside our control- so what use is it pouring negative energy into something when we could be conserving that energy or using it for something positive? I am totally guilty of letting the actions/words of others indirectly affect the here and now of my own life. Sometimes it’s hard for us to realize what we can and cannot control, and that causes a mind spin as well. The sooner we can realize that and get past it though, the more productive we can be.
I think this quote is so great! I often find it easier to think negative things about myself and bring myself down but when I stop and think about it I know that I can control these negative thoughts and turn them into positive ones.
P.s. I always try to bring the groceries in in one trip! It is a small victory if I do!
I’ve always been the same way with carrying stuff, although now that I live in Chicago and no car, I can only buy what I can carry! Things I can’t control – my stupid foot injury! I want to run!
Ooh yes, great point, and thanks for the reminder! I think we’d be so much more productive some days if we just directed our energy towards the things we really DO have the power to change. Easier said than done, right? Great post!
I am definitely a bit of a worrier. I actually spend more time worrying over minor things than the big things. Somehow I can tell myself that God is in control of THOSE, but I still want to take control of the little ones. This is such a great reminder (and one that I should look at daily!) Thanks!
I’m the SAME way – I’ll end up having marks all over my arms from hanging as many bags as possible on myself 🙂
I completely agree with “Control what you can Control!”. Love that quote. What a great reminder. It’s so easy to worry about everything… and all the “what ifs”. Thanks! Have a fabulous day!
I worry about so many things it’s not even funny. I know that it produces a lot of unnecessary anxiety in my life, so I’m trying very hard to let go of the things outside my scope of control, but it goes against all of my instincts. Letting go and accepting is a reminder I need CONSTANTLY!
Thanks for sharing that quote. Definitely needed to hear that today!
Oh boy to this!
I fell on ice and tore the cartilage in my hip while I was training for a marathon. It has been a LONG journey and I’m undergoing hip surgery on Wednesday. It is really difficult to go through this as I’m a runner through and through and I’m also smack in the middle of my PhD. I have never in my life felt so out of control!!
I am the same way with packages. I will hold as many as I possibly can to avoid going back to the car. It usually works out. 🙂
This is such a great post. I feel really out of control in regards to my health. I’m having a ton of GI problems. It’s been hard going back and forth to doctors, and trying to figure out what I can and can’t eat. I feel like I’ve lost control. It’s so hard.
Such a great post, Julie. I tend to worry about all kinds of things, so this is a great reminder that somethings are just not controllable by me. Sounds like I should really read the book!
Great post Julie!!!
LOVE this!! YES, it’s so true. Sometimes we just need to LET it go (to God, if you’re religious) and do what YOU can, but let go of the stuff you can’t control.
Great post!
totally agree. 🙂
Thank you for posting this! It’s so true and yet it slips my mind all the time. Needed to hear it!
You couldn’t have said it better – “So simple, yet so hard.” I think I spend half of my day somedays worring about things I can’t control. I have had a lot of health problems with migraines and although I can control some of the external factors, there is a lot that I cannot control, and I just need to let go and stop trying to control those parts that are far beyond my control! Yet…easier said than done some days! 🙂
So true! I had a miscarriage in December and my husband and I finally have the green light to starting trying again this month. It’s tough not to overanalyze and worry…
I’m learning to let go, and let God!!
🙂
My college coach used to always tell us “Don’t try to control the uncontrolables” Now I am a coach and I tell my players the same thing!
Your post reminded me of this hilarious list! Who doesn’t do everything possible to avoid multiple trips to the car when unloading groceries!?
http://activeleisure.wordpress.com/fun-stuff/random-thoughts-from-people-25-35-years-old/
this is a WONDERFUL POST julie! seriously, rings so true for me especially. i am your prototypical worrier- i ruminate, let things bother me that shouldnt, catastrophize, you name it! i really need to let go of certain things! great reminder 🙂
Such a great quote – “Control what you can control”. Wiser words haven’t been spoken. I constantly feel like I’m worrying about things that need not be worried about. Who knows what I’ll be doing in the next two years, what my life will look like. I just need to stop and deal with the now, or risk not living in the moment.
Love the idea of control what you can control. Many things in our life and what happens to us are OUT of our control, but we are always 100% in control of how we react to these circumstances. If we react negatively that makes the issue FAR worse than it needs to be, but reacting as positively as possible will make the problem pass with more ease so we can get back to what we would RATHER be doing lol!!
I think I need to get on an organic delivery service, if I have the fruits and veggies in my fridge I will eat them, if they aren’t there I won’t. Working on it!
Wow, this post came at JUST the right time. Thank you. I am worrying over several things that are completely out of my control, and it’s such an energy waster. Thank you for this wonderful reminder. I appreciate it.
I will always carry as many bags as humanly possible (and then two more) in from the car so I don’t have to go back out. It’s like a challenge, which I love!
Over the past year, one of my goals has been to learn to say “no” and another has been to not worry about things I cannot control. If it’s out of my control, I pray about it. If there is something I can actually DO about it, then I still pray but I also DO.
Thanks for the reminder!
Thank you so much for this post, Julie. It’s exactly what I needed to read today.
This post seriously could not have come at a better time for me. Thank you!!
I couldn’t agree more. Especially lately.
I’m studying abroad in Ireland right now and it’s crunch time for me. I get so incredibly stressed out over the smallest details that I can never concentrate, let alone sleep (hence why i’ve been awake since 3 am 🙁 )
Thank you for posting this. You’re a true inspiration. This book is now on my summer reading list! 😀
This is a great post, very inspiring! I also challange myself to only make one trip with groceries from the car to kitchen!
Love this. It is SO true! There are just some things that we will NEVER be able to control, and I think that’s how God wants it. He wants it to be in His hands, and for you to just sit back & let Him take control! He’ll never give you something that you can’t handle. 🙂
Awesome post, Julie!
I totally always bring groceries in on one trip as well.
Love that quote! It’s so true and something I constantly need to remind myself. I love how you handled the situation with your mom. What a great and inspiring story.
Such a great post- I hope you know how your words can really resonate with people right when they need to hear it :)… it’s like you read my mind and told me something I really needed to hear today! Thx, lady! 🙂
I was worrying way too much about selling our house in Ohio. But God is SO good … less than 2 weeks before we had to move to Ohio, out of the blue, we got a buyer! Such an incredible answer to prayer. I often have to remind myself that He’s my provider, and stop trying to control things that I can’t! 🙂
That’s a very interesting reflexion! I think this is true but we should be caferul of not turning ourselves into control freaks. Control what you can control, but also what is worth controlling!
Julie -you thank you for this. I have had a really hard couple of days and this is exactly what I needed to hear!
Hi Julie! I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now, and wanted to let you know that this post is exactly what I needed to hear/read today! Thank you for being such a positive and inspirational person! 🙂
This is such a great post! Thanks, Julie 🙂
Thank you for such a great post – it’s a great reminder that we all need to hear from time-to-time. I’ve been having a hard time lately with having to constantly defend my healthy lifestyle choices (limiting alcohol, prioritizing workouts, etc). I can’t control how others will respond/react to my lifestyle and I need to accept that and be happy with my choices.
LOL I do the same thing with groceries!! 1 trip or bust. I absolutely love this post. It’s something I’ve blogged about countless times… I think it is the single most stress-reducing step we can take in our lives. So glad you posted about this! 🙂
I’m the same way with the groceries. One trip, baby!
I have such a hard time letting go of things I can control. Thank you for the reminder! I’m still working hard on making that my automatic response and not must control everything!!!
This post must have been written for me…perfect timing. I’ve had a trying 72 hours and it helped to me read this line…even just on your blog title.
Ten years ago when I was a freshman in college, I thought I could control my life. I thought I needed to be in a relationship, and I ended up with someone who treated me horribly for six years–to the point where I honestly thought I was going crazy. I also had an eating disorder; I was trying to control my body because I wasn’t having any luck controlling my life.
I don’t try to control things anymore, because it was only once I learned to relinquish that control that I discovered how amazing my life could be. I am now married to the love of my life and pursuing my career dreams of becoming a counselor and author (of an eating disorder recovery book no less!). And all because I learned how to DIRECT my life without trying to control everything!
Oh, and I have to add–as a former Resident Director at a university, I used to have to walk across a large parking lot and then up two flights of stairs to my apartment at the end of the hallway. I made a habit of NEVER taking more than one trip, no matter how much I’d bought!!!
I love this! It’s a message I so need to hear. As my mom always says, “Don’t borrow trouble.” Same concept, but difficult to remember every day!