See all those bags? I managed to bring them inside in only one trip! I have a weird aversion to making two trips to and from the car with groceries and will nearly throw out my back trying to bring everything in at once.
One trip, baby!
Lunch
I am killing my goal of consuming five servings of fruits and vegetables today. Four down!
Today’s lunch featured a tuna salad wrap with arugula and tomato slices and roasted green beans on the side.
Loving all the fresh produce!
I also had a small bowl of ricotta cheese topped with a sliced plum, slivered almonds and pumpkin pie spice on the side.
And now for a little book talk!
I finished reading Open yesterday and have one major thing to discuss that I took away from the book, so let’s get to it!
Control What You Can Control
Control what you can control.
What a totally simple yet incredibly difficult concept to grasp.
How much time do we spend freaking out about things that are completely outside of our control? How many hours do we waste worrying about what that nasty coworker is going to say today? How many “what ifs” do we put ourselves through day in and day out, worrying about the worst possible outcomes?
On Saturday as I was reading Andre Agassi’s biography, Open, I found myself rereading one passage over and over again. It detailed a conversation between Agassi and his trainer, Gil.
Agassi just finished reading an article about himself in a New York newspaper. The article tore him apart and said Agassi “simply isn’t a champion,” and caused him to spiral into a series of self-doubt.
“What if he’s right?” Agassi questions about the author’s statement.
“What if I never win this tournament? What if I always look back on this moment with regret?”
His trainer sees Agassi’s reaction to the article and nonchalantly says, “Control what you can control.”
I dog-eared the page and went back and read it again yesterday after I finished the book.
Rather than put time, energy and effort into worrying about things that are so completely out of our control, imagine how much better off we’d be if we poured all of that energy into something that we can control. Something positive. Something that will actually get us somewhere.
I remember when my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I felt completely helpless and utterly out of control. I worried. I cried.
And then I did something.
My sister and I poured time and energy into doing things for my mom to make her journey easier. We made her a chemo countdown calendar where she could mark a big, victorious “X” on the days where she received chemotherapy treatment after she returned home. We reached out to friends and relatives and put together a recipe book complete with kind notes from the people who love her most.
Did this help us gain control over the cancer my mom was fighting? Absolutely not. But it did make us feel like we were doing something and had a little bit of control over my mom’s happiness.
There are things that affect us every day that are out of our control and it is so incredibly hard not to dwell on them and worry non-stop. I loved the simple thought of controlling what we can control and focusing on making the changes we can make to improve our lives without dwelling on the issues outside of our control.
So simple, yet so hard.
Question of the Afternoon
- What is something completely out of your control that you’ve spent too much time worrying about lately?
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I worry constantly about things I have no control over. Mostly I worry about what might happen if I take a leap. What if I decide to pursue photography as a career and no one likes my work? What if we decide to buy a house and then can’t afford the payments? I need to train myself not to worry about the worst that could happen and start looking forward to the great things that could happen!
P.S. I NEVER make two trips with my groceries! And I live in an upstairs apartment. I bet I look HILARIOUS to my neighbors sometimes!
Hi, I just recently found your blog and I’m happy I did.. what a great blog post! I’m constantly over thinking and worrying!! I’m trying to change these things about myself because I really hate them.. I needed this reminder today!! Thanks!
What a wonderful post. Such a simple idea, but so much depth. Sometimes everyone just needs a reminder that it will all be alright! 🙂
Had to laugh at the one trip with groceries from the car- I do the SAME thing!! And every time I find myself wondering why I can only make one trip.
I’m trying to worry less about my job search- after changing careers, going back to school for a second degree, and still not having my dream job, it starts to get pretty upsetting. I need to really focus on just doing my best at things I can control, and then let the rest to the man upstairs. 🙂
I can control hanging out with you. Let’s plan a dinner! Where shall we rendevous this time?
My grad school application – I obsessively check my status to see if I’ve been admitted and it’s not good!
I absolutely love this–you are so right. Most of us (myself included) spend way too much time worrying about the things we can’t control.
What a great post & what an amazingly special thing for you to share. Thank you for posting this.
Its so funny that you posted that about carrying groceries inside – I posted the exact same thing on my blog today. I will carry as many as I possibly can!
I think having kids, I worry about things that are out of my control all the time. But that’s what people do isn’t it? You don’t need to worry about the things that you can control because that means they can be changed. Worrying about things you can’t control is why people worry in the first place. If I’m making any sense.
Basically, I just try to worry less in general.
I always know that that quote is how I should react to things, but sometimes reactions can be so emotional that it’s hard to see through the blurr to get to the facts.
I love this quote. Reminds me so much of the serenity prayer… which I have propped up on my workdesk and on my mirror back at home!!
Awesome reminder. I will definitely share this post with others. Thank you! 🙂
This is a concept I need to work on a LOT. There are a lot of changes going on at work right now that are going to have a serious effect on my job status (I’ll still have a job, it might just be a totally new one in a totally new place). There is literally NOTHING I can do to change this, and it’s taken me a few months to fully give up wasting my time worrying about the situation at hand. I can control what kind of teacher I am, what I do with my kids, how I treat my co-workers. Everything else will fall into place!
Ah…such a great quote! I wish it were that simple!
Haha I laughed SO hard at your grocery victory! I am ALWAYS attempting to make it in one trip – ven if it means taking twice as long!
I sleep at my boyfriends a lot and I do not pack light, so I end up struggling up his front steps with a huge bag of clothes, my laptop, purse, and extra shoes. I always figured he thought I was ridiculous, but it turns out he’s exactly the same way! Now, after a snowboarding trip we challenge ourselves to unload with the LEAST trips possible.
On the note of learning what you can control. I have found that a lot of help from reading articles on locus of control which is basically the same concept! We can’t change anything by projecting outwards, we simply have to look inside. 🙂
I’m in the same position! I’m still at my desk job that is by no means what I “want to do” with my life. I worry about the future a lot, and how I’ll get from where I am now to where I want to be. It has definitely helped to take small steps in the right direction, and work every day at getting to my eventual goal instead of constantly worrying about why I’m not already there.
Sorry, meant to reply to the comment underneath this!
Same here girl! We’ll make it sooner or later 🙂
What and enlightening post! I am what one would call a “control freak”! I worry A LOT which causes lots of unnecessary anxiety! I worry about my future most of all because I am still stuck in the “I don’t know what I want to do phase”! I quit my day (desk) job because it was making me very unhappy, and am now trying to figure out what my true passion is. I love to work with people, and be on my feet as opposed to sitting in a cubicle for 9 long hours. I also find blogging to be very therapeutic and fun, which really helps to get my mind off of my worries! I guess it’s really the “not knowing” part of this that really scares me since I like to be prepared for everything! Anyways, this turned out to be a really long comment, but the bottom line is that I think we all just need to realize that everything will fall where it should at some point, and if we just relax and learn from our mistakes hopefully we will be able to get to where we want to be! 🙂
stellina, kimberly responded to your comment above! just didn’t want you to miss it! and i think SO many people are in your same boat! i know i was not too long ago!
Thanks Julie! 🙂
Love this post! I definitely needed this today. I’ve been trying to find a full-time job for the past couple of months, so I’m focusing a lot of my energy on that and doing everything that I can to get to that outcome. Of course, I constantly find myself worrying about it and whoever the competition is out there, instead of relishing in the fact that I have extra free time and focusing on the fact that things will work out when they are supposed to according to God’s timeline, instead of mine. So, I love this!! Control what you can control 🙂
I also am a master at bringing in groceries in one trip! Despite my complete lack of upper body strength, I do pretty well!
And I absolutely love the “control what you can control” quote. Definitely something that a lot people (myself included) should take to heart.
I have a very close family. Out of the absolute BLUE, 3 months ago, my dad got a rare illness and rapidly went downhill. He went from the strongest man I know to not being able to take care of himself and being bedridden. I watched my brothers take care of him and my mom’s strength and courage overwhelmed me. I decided to control what I could control and stick with my running, even though at times I wanted to curl up and dissapear. It didn’t help him, he died in December, but it helped me to maintain positivity and dispel my angst and dispair so I was able to give more to him and my family. I just went for a long run sunday and played all of his music. I cried, I powered on, and I felt his presence. It feels selfish to take time running when someone is literally going before you, but I’m positive its what made me and makes me, be able to handle this whole ordeal. Great Topic and lesson.
i am so sorry for your loss, bridget. your run yesterday sounds like it was a great, emotional experience.
“Control what you can control” reminds me of one of my favourite prayers, the Serenity Prayer. Just thought I’d pass it along…
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.
I needed to read this more than you know today. Lately, I’ve been trying to control so many things that are naturally not mine to control. Sometimes, the only thing we can do is let go and just let it happen. So much easier said than done but something I always continue to work on.
beautifully written post
thank you, sarah. 🙂
Omigosh I am the same exact way when making trips- I hate to make more than one so I usually load myself down until my arms are shaking and I end up with red marks from the bag handles– but I get it done!
I really need to hear that control what you can control message today too- last night I was stressing about something that ended up not even happening and yet, I couldn’t stop freaking out about it. I knew it was silly but I forgot- I need to control only what I can control… this might be my new mantra!
This is a great quote to keep in mind. I tend to beat myself up over things that are out of my control… there’s only so much you can do to “control” certain situations. It’s all about adapting & doing the best you can!
My roommate always laughs at me balancing bags and boxes and the like all over my body just to avoid having to go back out to the car for a second trip. I’ll crash into the living room shuffling to the kitchen huffing and puffing but triumphant to have gotten it all done in one go! It’s the little (controllable!) things.
Letting go of trying to control everything in my environment is a constant struggle for me. It’s nice to know I’m not alone!
I’m a one-tripper too! Which may or may not have caused some busted milk jugs and tumbling produce!
I love the message! I’ve learned over the past year to let go and let God. Being the “controlling” and leader of the pack, I always tried to lead myself into things “I” felt was right. Finally, I slowed down and accepted “I am not the pilot!” WE ARE CO-PILOTS! Let Him be the driver in our life.
i love this, mindy!
What a great post, Julie! I hear a lot of this in my internship with the clients in recovery. It’s the basic premise behind the Serenity Prayer. It’s helped thousands of people to stop using drugs/alcohol and it’s a giant piece of wisdom I think all of us can learn to incorporate into our lives on a regular basis.
Your posts are always super timely! My mom started radiation last week. She’s doing really well, thankfully, but I love your idea of a countdown calendar! I’m going to make one for her tonight! 🙂
aw, i hope she loves it!!! and i hope her treatment goes very, very well!
I really like “control what you can control”. I have spent countless hours worrying about the past, and that I cannot change things that I have done, and that I should only move forward and learn from it. I had something that happened to me last year that depressed me for a very long time, and I was never given a full reason for it, which never closed the door on it. I spent hours trying to figure it out, but eventually, I realized, I cannot control this, or control what information other people give me, so I need to move on.
Also the bags thing. Here in my city plastic bags are banned! So you have to bring your own bags or buy a paper bag when you are in the store. I ALWAYS forget to bring in my bags! Its the worst. I’ve ended up taking stuff to my car with no bags! haha.
I did a sales job one time and they ALWAYS, ALWAYS told us to: “Control the controllables!”
It is engrained into my head. lol
Totally random question, where did you get the monogrammed tumbler you use for smoothies? Thanks!
bed bath & beyond! they’re made my tervis tumbler.
I love that ideal! My great grandma lived to be 102 and when we asked what her secret was, she always said, “don’t worry about things you can’t change” I live my life by this concept now
that is wonderful! your grandma was a wise lady!
“Control what you can control” is such a great thought to keep in mind especially during rough times. Thanks for the reminder.
Also, I’ve got the same deal with groceries haha. I’m sure I look insane trying to make it from the car to the door with like 4 bags up each arm but I hate having to make two trips!
i love this post because it’s something I find myself struggling with almost every day. It’s far too easy (and accepted) to complain about things and take things for granted, but there are so many incredible things I should instead be grateful and thankful for. I actually keep little reminders around my computer and work desk to encourage myself to be positive and worry-less every day.
great post! i definitely have control issues 😉
what an amazing daughter you are!!! i would hope that i would also do the same, but i can’t imagine going through cancer with a parent and feeling so helpless
I love this post! First of all, I do everything I can to make only one trip with the groceries. We live in an apartment, so sometimes I have to park far away, and I usually look like a cartoon character balancing all my bags and milk cartons, but it’s totally worth it.
And you’re so right – there’s so much we worry about needlessly. A great reminder to just focus on what we can do! 🙂
Getting into medical school.I just need to stop fretting about my future. I got into one school, and need to stop thinking about the ones I didn’t get into. I need to let go, and just be satisfied with the blessing I ALREADY HAVE.
I definitely needed this post today! I found myself freaking out over more than one thing I can’t control.
Deep breaths 🙂
Also, I have the same grocery bag obsession.
This is something I”m SO bad about and I definitely needed to hear that.. thank you!
Totally agree…worrying about things out of our control is wasted energy!
Thank’s for the post!!! I’m in law school and applying for summer jobs. It’s so stressful with the economy the way it is! Firms just aren’t hiring like they used to. I’ve spent a lot of time worrying about it, but really, I can’t control that. Thanks for the reminder. 🙂
Completely out of my control- finding a job! I finished college last summer with a major in nutrition, exercise and health. It’s been such a rough road of trying to find an entry level job and it seems no one wants to hire with no experience and so no way to get experience! It’s really frustrating cause it feels like I’m taking steps backwards now, but it’s out of my control so I’m hoping Im just waiting for something really good to come along!
Thank you for this post! Right now I am absolutely freaking out about receiving my mid-term language exam mark (I basically self-destructed in the middle of the exam). Instead of frantically worrying, however, I am going to try to look to the future. I may not be able to control the grade that I got, but I can control how I’ll respond and move forward.
What you and your sister did for your mother is amazing. It’s just inspirational to hear about people staying strong and finding ways to deal in the midst of something so difficult and uncontrollable. 🙂
I love this post. Thank you for reminding us because this is simply the truth. I think everyone could use this quote in their day-to-day lives… so thank you!!
My Mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer in October and that is definitely something I worry about daily that I cannot control. I’ve gotten better with it, but it’s still very difficult. “control what you can control” is a great motto I use for everything else especially since nothing seems quite as significant as it did before we found out about my mom!
i am so sorry about your mom’s diagnosis and hope her treatment is extremely successful.
haha this Pinterest image reminds me of you and your groceries!
http://pinterest.com/pin/246994360783416373/
I think ‘control what you can control’ is a reason I’m a worry/anger cleaner – as in, when I’m worried, stressed or pissed, I clean EVERYTHING. Something about exerting control over dustbunnies helps.
PS – also in a third-floor walk-up; sometimes nonperishables live in the trunk for a day, so I don’t have to make two trips. Now that I type this I can’t believe how lazy it sounds!
this was exactly what i needed to read at this exact moment… i lost my mother to cancer recently and my family has been a mess since then.. my dad’s battling depression, siblings are lost in life, and i’ve spent half my days since then crying over the fact that i can’t fix it.
i love your blog, it reminds me to stay hopeful and that there will be a day when all this gets better!!! 😀
A-mazing post that anyone can relate to and applies to all aspects of life. Great reminder for me to do exactly what was written, control what I can control and remember for the things that I can’t, the good Lord has a plan and is always in control.
What other people say. Can’t control that.