Daily Perspective + Mood Boosting Ideas
Almost every Monday morning I work out of a local coffee shop while our boys are at school. I adore the baristas and the environment is one that helps me focus and keeps me on target as I work on new blog posts, update old content to make it more SEO-friendly, tackle my dreaded email inbox and kick off the week on a productive note.
It’s also a place where I run into an older man who has made a lasting impact on me. This older gentleman comes to the same coffee shop where I work every Monday and participates in a men’s Bible study. I very quickly realized there was something different about him and the way he approached his life.
It’s admittedly hard not to overhear conversations when I’m working out of a coffee shop, though I’ve largely learned to block everything out and focus on my work. Sometimes, though, conversations will be especially loud or intense and I cannot help but overhear. This was the case during one of this man’s past discussions with his men’s group. His responses and contributions to the group discussion were filled with so much kindness, optimism and a hope-filled yet realistic perspective that made me want to speak with him further.
The Older Gentleman
We began chatting — just general pleasantries — but over the course of a few months, he shared more about his life with me, including the fact that he is a stage four prostate cancer survivor. Our conversations are never long (10 minutes or less) but something about the words we exchange stick with me every time we chat.
Last Monday I found out he is moving to South Carolina next month. I was a lot more bummed out about this news than I would’ve thought and I’ve been asking myself why. I don’t think I realized how much I looked forward to our simple Monday chats and this man’s short-but-sweet anecdotes of wisdom that can only be acquired by someone with so much life experience.
Last week, he said hello to a man I’ve never seen before who was sitting at the table in front of mine. He did not know this man and their conversation began the way you’d expect strangers to converse with the basic, “Hi, how are you?” When the young man then asked the older man how he was doing, he said, “I’m doing great and if I’m not doing great it’s my own fault!”
We began our Monday chat right after this exchange and I had to ask him how he came to have such a refreshing perspective about his days. He said he’s learned so much in his life and shared how much his battle with prostate cancer, his relationship with God and the verse Romans 5:3 impacted his life. (I’ve shared before how I can struggle in my own relationship with God and this man also does so much to encourage me in my faith.) He said it took him a very, very long time to claim responsibility over his own feelings and his joy. He said he spent way too many years letting the attitudes and actions of others impact his days and realized the way he feels and the direction of his day is something largely in his own control.
This does not at all dismiss or discount the really hard days — days filled with horrible news, true challenges or mental health struggles — but in the normalcy of regular days, I love the way he said it’s up to HIM to find and live out his own joy.
My mom was actually recently diagnosed with breast cancer… again.
She overcame her first battle with breast cancer after a double mastectomy, chemo and radiation 16 years ago. We found out a couple of weeks ago she has breast cancer again and the days that followed this news were filled with so much worry, stress and fear as we awaited additional information. Most of what we’ve learned from follow-up appointments since her initial diagnosis has only served to give us hope. She’ll have surgery this month and we will know more about what her treatment plan will look like after surgery. We are hopeful.
I’m thinking of my Monday conversations with my coffee shop friend a lot lately. I’m thinking of his cancer journey and his incredible perspective. And thinking of the hope he carries with him everyday, his strong faith and Romans 5:3. I’m praying. I’m also fully believing my mom will be okay, which is exactly what she is believing, too. So much of my joy and the optimism I feel in life is something I learned from my mother. And it’s something I deeply hope and pray our boys feel every day.
While I do believe some aspects of our perspective on life can be taught or a learned behavior, since becoming a mother, I’ve also come to witness first-hand how it seems like we may be innately predisposed to approach life with a more positive, joyful attitude or an attitude that may cause us to have to work a little harder to look on the bright side of things or feel happiness, hopefulness and joy every morning. I see this play out in our three boys in their self-talk, their anticipation of the outcome of events, etc. Ryan and I can speak positively, lovingly and encouragingly to our boys until we’re blue in the face and model this for them. But their personal optimism/pessimism/realism seems to be innate.
I shared some of this on Instagram Stories and absolutely loved the conversations I had with you guys in my direct messages.
When I shared a poll to see if you have to work at feeling joyful in your life or if you feel like you’re naturally predisposed to be a happier person, it was split nearly right down the middle.
I believe I am naturally a more optimistic person. And I’ve always felt like a lot of my positivity in life stems from gratitude. My last prayer before bed every single night and my first prayer when I wake up in the morning is always, always one of immense gratitude. Even during really, really hard days. But even as someone who feels naturally predisposed to be joyful, I have days where I feel really off. I have days where I feel bitey, and prickly. And just generally less patient, more easily annoyed, angrier and all things unpleasant.
These are the ways where I really try to ask myself why I’m feeling the way I am and I try to think about how I can take back some control over my day. This is not easy and it’s also not something I do every time. But I’ve found that there are some things I can do that will help me turn a bad day around. (To be clear, not every hard day — especially the legitimately horrible days filled with bad news — are days I feel like I can turn around and I think it’s very much okay to feel our way through them.) But the middle-ground days? The days that just feel a little off? The days where I feel unusually affected by something small and negative? These are the days I don’t want to lose to a bad mood.
A big-time mood booster for me is going on a solo walk outside with our dog.
Getting outside and spending time alone in nature, away from any chaos of everyday life, and walking with Pepper as she hops along joyfully, absolutely thrilled to find something as simple as a perfect patch of extra-stinky grass, does wonders for resetting my mind.
Another small thing I’ve been doing for years is asking myself a simple question: “Will whatever is bugging me matter in a year?” If the answer is no, why am I giving it any energy and letting it ruin my day? (This obviously does not work for the big stuff, but for the little things we sometimes let take up a bigger space in our minds than they deserve, it works wonders for me.)
Mood Boosting Ideas
I wanted to take a minute to share some of the mood-boosting ideas you guys shared with me via Instagram. I found them so helpful and also just plain fun to read. You guys inspire me so much in my life. And I’ve found myself thinking about what you all shared with me a lot over the past week. Knowing sometimes we all have to be a little more proactive if we want to take control of our days and find a way to get ourselves out of a funk can help make those rough days feel a little less isolating, frustrating and daunting.
Your most popular mood boosting ideas:
- Getting outside (a walk, simple movement in nature, etc.)
- Working out
- Listening to music
Additional ideas you shared to help boost your mood:
- Doing a puzzle
- Ask myself, “Is this worth ruining my day over?”
- Completing a few simple tasks around my house
- Cleaning
- Time alone to recharge
- Reminding myself it’s okay to have a bad day, but not okay to treat people poorly
- Thinking about Mel Robbins’ “Let Them” theory (I want to read this book!)
- Gratitude journaling
- Taking time to sip my coffee with no distractions
- Laying on the floor like a starfish (I laughed out loud and loved this one!)
- Reading a novel
- Putting my phone away for the day
- A hot shower or bath
- Getting a car wash
- Thinking about what I would tell my kids or my best friend if they were in the same situation and telling that to myself
- Praying
- Ordering takeout — knowing I don’t have to think about dinner helps lighten the load on bad days
- Reminding myself I can start fresh anytime and don’t have to wait until tomorrow
- Getting out of my house
- Snuggling with my pet
- Watching a comfort show on TV (The TV show Friends came up a lot!)
- Listening to an audiobook
- Looking up at the sky
- Laughing with my kids
- Treating myself to a pedicure
- Rephrasing when I find myself complaining (“I get to do x, y, x because…”)
- Getting in bed early, taking a nap, sleeping, etc.
- Reminding myself I can only control my actions, not the actions/moods of others
- Taking the time to do my makeup and wear something that makes me feel good
- Jumping on my kids’ trampoline
- Venting to a friend or partner
- Meditating
- Deep breathing
- Buying myself flowers
- Reminding myself nothing lasts forever
- Researching an upcoming vacation
- Creating art, coloring, knitting, etc.
- I try to be the person my dog thinks I am
- Enjoy some kind of a treat in my house, like a fun drink or fun food
I’d love to hear from you guys more on this topic if you’d like to share.
What are some things you do when you’re in a bad mood to help yourself feel a little better?
Do you feel like you are innately a happy person or is is something you feel like you have to work a little harder at in your life?
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Great post! Petting and snuggling with our sweet little seven pound dog is a great relaxer for me. Wishing your mom support and healing!
Thank you, Kristinanne! And dogs truly do wonders to boost my mood. Pepper is another little 7 lb happiness magician!
Snuggling on the couch with a cozy blanket and my sweet Russian Blue kitty, usually streaming some sort of baking show.
I’m so sorry to hear that your mom’s breast cancer has returned. There are so many new and amazing things that can be done to treat cancers now and I have faith and hope that your mom will go into remission again. 🩷
Baking shows relax me, too. And thank you so much for your words — I have faith as well and so appreciate you taking the time to send some encouragement my way. I’ll take it <3
So sorry to hear the news about your mother. Last week I received some scary news and will be getting more testing at MD Anderson tomorrow. I am full of faith. And something that has been on my mind that your post prompted me to share is this: What do I gain by having faith? Peace of mind, hope, expectancy, joy, etc. what do I gain by having doubt? Fear, worry, sleepless nights, etc. So with the choices before me, I choose faith! Trusting in God is the sweetest peace of mind I have ever known.
Praying all goes well for your Mom!
Your words are so powerful. Thank you for sharing a little bit about your faith with me, Bek. I am so sorry you’re going through something scary right now and pray you get only good news from here on out after your additional test. Sending so much love your way!
I am so sorry to hear about your mom’s cancer Julie! Sending you and her lots of love and prayers.
Walking with my dogs, spending time with my horses, working out, reading a book – all things that help boost my mood!
A motivational mindset: Let go and LET GOD.
When I feel grumpy or stressed I find that taking a Power nap helps me reset and feel better. Give me 15 minutes to crash out on the couch and I wake up feeling like a new person! Prayers for your mom.
Really appreciated this post, Julie. I have a parent facing a possible cancer diagnosis after a quick health decline and it’s been so heavy. Being a naturally more of an Eeyore than a Tigger, it is hard for me to hold both the grief and the joy some days. Hoping for a quick recovery for your mom and all the best to your family.
I love this post so much. I appreciate that it’s a little deeper, that we get to know you a little more! And what a sweet interaction with that gentleman.
I’m somewhere in the middle, usually sunnier but definitely have my share of mental health struggles. Keeping a daily gratitude journal definitely helps, even if I can’t think of anything, surely I have a roof over my head or clean water or food in my fridge to be grateful for.
Thank you for sharing the update on your mom, too. I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for good news! Sending you and your family lots of love and virtual hugs!
Julie I am so very sorry to hear about your Mom’s recent diagnosis. Sending healing prayers and so much love your way to you and your entire family.
Hi Julie,
I am so sorry about your mom’s diagnosis. Wishing her a speedy recovery <3.
My 3 year old daughter lives with a rare neurogenetic disorder called Angelman Syndrome. Whenever I am in a bad mood about something, I try to remember her take on life.
Imogen cannot do the most basic things – walk, talk, etc. – and yet she is the happiest, most loving little girl I have ever known.
She can teach all of us so much about what truly matters in life – finding joy, spreading love – and I am so lucky I get to be her mom and witness that first hand.
Oh Beth, what a blessing YOU are to Imogen. We can learn so, so much from our babies and Imogen sounds so incredibly special.
I first want to say I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I don’t know her (or you for that matter!) but I have been following your blog since the beginning and also truly believe she will be ok. The way you’ve always depicted her positivity and sunny disposition will most certainly serve her well as she goes through her treatments and kicks cancer’s butt yet again!
I have to say I’ve been in a dark place since 1/20. I have been feeling complete despair. I am a practicing Catholic but am struggling to make sense of what is going on since this is not the message Jesus would ever send out into the world. We as a human race need to support and uplift our differences (isn’t that what makes the world a wonderful place?!) and here we have self proclaimed “Christians” blaming a tragic aircraft crash on diversity amongst the many other atrocities. So I am struggling with my faith as well. I unfortunately have been letting the endless ugly news cycle impact all areas of my life in a negative way but now realize I need to take back my control. I struggle to stay informed while maintaining sanity so for that reason I am sticking to my trusted, unbiased news sources like NPR and PBS while they are still around. I am taking a note from you and leaving my phone on the other side of my room to remove any temptation. I am off instagram, indefinitely. I am enjoying every moment with my children and absorbing their innocent joy and love and trying to give it back to them 10x. I am scheduling more time with my beloved friends who lift me up. Thinking of ways to make my husband’s upcoming bday and V day extra special this year. Snuggling and walking my pup more. I made a list of upcoming shows and books I want to read that are light hearted to give myself a brain break. I busted out my gratitude journal – after 2 tragic losses last year I tucked it away but think it’s time to begin again. Thank you Julie for making this a safe space and for all of these suggestions. I will certainly be adding some to my list. Much love and light to all out there struggling!
The Guest House by Jalaluddin Rumi
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
Sometimes we don’t need to change our mood. Sometimes it is best to sit with the discomfort and allow it to be felt and acknowledged and it will move through us.
I appreciate this post. It felt so real and vulnerable and human.
Thank you for sharing! I’m so sorry to hear the news about your precious Mom. I’ll pray for healing for her and for you all as you support her and each other. Please tell her we are thinking of her. God bless you all.
One of my favorite verses is John 16:33 where Jesus is telling His followers that in this world we WILL have troubles and things that are hard and don’t make sense, but the verse ends with “…but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world”. When I’m feeling down or get hard news (praying for your mom!!), I will often turn on some good worship music and praise the God who not only created me, but knows me better than I know myself. Getting the focus off of myself and dwelling on Christ, knowing that this world is NOT my home, helps me to put things into perspective.
Thank you for sharing this verse with me, Jess!
Julie- you have such a great way with words. Thank you for sharing this. You are right in that so often joy is a choice. Reading this blog brings joy to my day!
I appreciate this so much, Sarah! Thank you! Sometimes I feel like I’m in a blogging rut with my words (a feeling I’ve had lately with everything going on), so I needed this more than you may realize.
What a lovely, positive post! Love all the ideas – thank you! Just wanted to say that I ask myself a similar question to your question of “Will whatever is bugging me matter in a year?” but instead of a year, I say 2 months. Someone gave me this advice several years ago and it helps so, so much. Most of the time, the answer is no. It’s similar to the phrases of “nothing lasts forever” or “this is just a season” but something about asking yourself the question hits harder.
Also, praying for a positive outcome for your mom. And I’m sorry about your coffee shop friend moving. You should tell him what he has meant to you (or even write it in a card)! I think he’d enjoy hearing how he’s inspired you.
One of my girlfriends told me to ask if he would mind us writing back and forth to each other pen-pal style and I’m planning to ask him about this next Monday! Crossing my fingers he says yes!
That is so lovely! I hope he says yes!
I’m so sorry to hear your mom’s diagnosis. I’m praying for healing and peace for her and your family. This post really shines a spotlight on your positivity. And, it’s also such a reminder of the strength in community when we are going through something. Thanks for always being a bright light in our days.
Hi Julie, Long-time reader and I am not sure if I’ve ever even commented before, but I appreciate your blog and it’s something I look forward to each week! I’m sorry to hear about your mom. I hope her healing is fast and smooth.
It’s interesting how healing it is to be outside and get some movement – I think about this a lot with my kids (4 and 2) when they are upset.
I’ve been trying to do a better job of supporting the businesses and people that I appreciate – thank you for sharing your genuine positivity and honesty!
YES! I remember reading to get kids outside or in water (bath time) if they’re a little off and I swear this works wonders… for me, too!
Thank you so much for this post, Julie. It is “ALL THE THINGS”, as one of my friends loves to say.
My mom was diagnosed several years ago with a very aggressive brain cancer and as we sat there processing the doctor’s phone call confirming the results, the first thing my mom said was, “I’m not going to allow this diagnosis to steal my joy.” She spent the next 18 months battling a brain tumor with the most unbelievable amount of JOY. There were certainly awful days, but she pushed through them with so much grace and she stood true to her word and held fast to her joy. She even went skydiving at 74-years-young! I miss her so much, but when I think about her attitude in life both before AND AFTER her diagnosis, I can’t help but to smile. I’m inspired by her strength to CHOOSE a positive response to a harsh realization. Your coffee shop friend is so right – so much of it is up to us.
Thank you again for sharing your life with us (I’ve been following since before you got married). And thank you to your fellow followers for their comments as well. My prayers will be with your sweet mama and the rest of your family!
Your mother sounds truly incredible. Thank you so much for sharing a little bit about her and her incredible attitude with me. And I love that thinking about her attitude in life brings a smile to your face now — I’m sure that she would want nothing more. <3 <3
Julie, I am so sorry to hear about your mom’s diagnosis. I am sure this is absolutely devastating news, especially knowing what your mom battled 16 years ago.
I was curious to know if your mom has ever looked into alternative healing? Obviously, we need medication and chemo and radiation, but there were also wonderful alternative healing second go along with it.
If your mom is inclined, I highly recommend looking into Essiac Tea. It’s a combination of herbs that a Canadian nurse in the 20s discovered that worked wonders with her patient who had cancer. My aunt had double lung cancer and took this and the doctor kept asking her how she was still alive because she shouldn’t have been. We credit the Tea.
Mushrooms are also a wonderful healing modality. Turkey tail, Chaga, Reishi mushrooms. You just get them powdered at an herb shop and you can add them to a tea or food or whatever you’d like.
Just thought I would share. I’m not suggesting anything as I am not a doctor, but it might just be interesting for you and your mom to check out and see if that would be a viable option.
Wishing you all the best
I’m so sorry to hear about your mom and what your family is going through, again. It sounds as though the prognosis is good and I am hoping the very best outcome for all of you.
I agree with you about our natural disposition but I recently started a meditation course to help with my anxiety and in it they talk a lot about neuroplasticity and how our natural point of happiness can actually change. It’s quite interesting. I’ll link a short video if you’re interested 🙂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R6hybxLidgA&index=2&list=PLbiVpU59JkValOIEIo2Y65mBopHCjKvBo
That IS interesting! Thank you for sharing — definitely interested in checking this out!
Thank you for always opening yourself to us readers and being vulnerable. It’s one of the main things I love about your blog. I’m so incredibly sorry to hear what your Mom is going through. I’m sending a lot of prayers and love and affirming everything will be okay.
When I’m feeling off, one of the first things I do is look at my kids and notice their smiles and how they don’t let the little things under their skin. I say all the time that I think adults need to operate more like a child’s mindset or perception of how everything in the world is great and magical. Obviously that doesn’t work with the big stuff in life, but even then I just look at them and feel lifted.
Sending love.
I say the same thing about kids — they are able to communicate in absolute honesty which is something I think we lose a bit as adults. No one is offended if a kid is over an activity and wants to leave early, but as adults we feel like we need to stick it out or feel rude leaving. Their emotions are intense and strong but they FEEL them so deeply and then seem to be able to move forward with more ease than we can. I learn so, so much from our boys! And thank you so much for your prayers — they are so appreciated.
Honestly, following you has really helped me become a better person and mom. I have much older “kids”. 18 & 19 but the patience required as a parent still remains the same no matter what age. Prayers to your mom and your family
I just love following your blog and IG and am one of your OG followers (mouse house days 🙃). Reading your blog/IG, helps lift my mood! You have helped me as a person and a mom (I’m also an all boy mom, who has experienced loss) and I’m so grateful for you and your sharing of all the things! 🙏🏼
This post really resonates with me and where I’m at right now in life. I’ve been intentionally growing my faith and changing my mindset to turn towards Him more. This is the 3rd sign this week that He’s shown me that He is noticing. How comforting it is knowing He with us all the time. The older man you describe is someone who was placed in your life intentionally and you don’t want to lose touch with him. How special he has left a lasting impression on your heart that you’re now sharing forward with your followers. Amazing!
Prayers to your mom for a speedy recovery and healthy remission again! I know she is so important to you and your family. 💜
Putting on a fun song and dancing in my kitchen. Always makes me forget about the nonsense for a bit. Bonus if my 11-month old is watching and laughs at me.
Sorry to hear about your mom, my mom went through that about 15 years ago and I have another family member going through it now. Sending you and your family positive, healing vibes!!
Lovely post Julie! Sending all good wishes for your mom. <3
Lots of prayers for your sweet mom!
Praying that your mom will have no evidence of disease after her treatment and for your family as you walk through this. Romans 5:3-5 are verses I’ve been dwelling on for the last year and a half as I’ve been going through my own cancer journey. Verse 5 says “And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” What an unexpected gift, that suffering can lead to hope through the love of God. I think that gentleman you met seems like a great example of this verse put into action!
Prayers for your mom and family
Hi Julie, wishing your mother all the best with this latest health journey, sending positive and healing thoughts to your entire family as you go through this. I love all the ideas suggested above and that sometimes on the middle-ground hard days a reset can be what helps us reset, recharge and turn the day around. Thinking of you, Courtney
Sending positive thoughts that your mom’s surgery goes well and wisdom to her team of specialists as they decide the course of her treatment. So happy that your mom is surrounded by so much love between you, Ryan and the boys, Leslie, Ross and their children and of course your dad. Having a strong support team helps so much during the moments of uncertainty.
When our son was first sick and for the first few years after as we went to therapy after therapy, specialist after specialist, I carried a small token in my pocket that had one word on it – the word is HOPE. I would rub that token during times of receiving not ideal news and always remind myself of what Christopher Reeve “Once we choose hope, everything is possible.” I still have that token, but now it is in my jewelry box. But I constantly find myself relying on that quote during life’s challenges.
Very sorry to read about your mom. Treatments for breast cancer are better than ever and evolving week by week. I’ve seen patients in complete remission after a third recurrence. Hoping the very best prognosis for your mom.
Annnnnnd, F cancer!