My legs were not yet ready for an intense leg workout at the gym this morning. Still recovering!
I kept things light and began with 20 minutes on the elliptical before doing three sets of 15 repetitions of the following exercises at a lighter-than-usual weight:
- Step ups
- Deadlifts
- One-legged leg press
- Lunges
- Hamstring curls on exercise ball
Though my legs still feel a bit fatigued, they’re almost back to normal and lightly working them out felt good!
I rounded out my workout with another 10 minutes on the elliptical while reading Better Homes & Gardens magazine which reaffirmed my disinterest in gardens (totally skipped that section) and also made me feel bad about my lack of interior design skills. At least I found a great recipe to try!
Breakfast
Initially I wanted to make banana bread protein pancakes this morning, but we only had a small amount of oatmeal, so I made a batch of Stonewall Kitchen gingerbread pancakes and added some oats to the mix!
Topped with cinnamon chia seed granola and syrup!
Dating Duration Before Engagement
Last week I finished reading American Wife, the book we selected to read for the PBF October Book Club.
The book follows the life of Alice Lindgren, a Wisconsin girl who grows up, gets married and inevitably finds herself in Washington D.C. as the first lady of the United States.
In the book, she falls in love with Charlie Blackwell and they are engaged within a couple of months.
I remember taking a child development class in high school and I had a teacher who was adamant when she said that couples should date for at least three years before getting engaged because during a three-year timeframe, you’re likely to go through a significant change together, have some serious fights and weather a few dramatic events.
Ryan and I met my freshman year in college and dated for 5 1/2 years before getting engaged. Oddly enough, when we did get engaged, I still wasn’t sure we waited long enough (I was only 24!) even though I definitely knew he was “the one” and absolutely saw a future with him. Big decisions take a long time for me to make because I tend to over think them, almost to a fault. Getting married was a huge deal to me and I wanted to do it once and do it right.
To be totally honest, if Ryan would not have said “we’re getting a dog,” I’m not sure we’d even have Sadie. Yes, I wanted a dog, but I was so worried about being a good dog owner and giving a dog enough exercise and attention that I always talked myself out of it. Now I can’t imagine life without Sadie!
Though I tend to be overly cautious with big decisions, I absolutely love the stories of couples who met, got engaged on the third date and were married for 65 years. That kind of spontaneity and passion makes the romantic side of me turn to mush!
In the end, I think the ideal amount of dating time before an engagement completely depends on the couple.
Question of the Morning
- If you’re married, how long did you date your spouse before getting engaged?
- If you’re single or dating, how long do you think you’d like to be with someone before getting engaged (assuming you want to do so one day)?
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What an interesting topic! I think it definitely depends on the couple and how old they are. My boyfriend and I are both 28 years old and have been dating 3 years come next week and neither of us are ready to get married yet. While we want to spend the rest of our lives together, marriage isn’t a priority for us. 🙂 But again, it all depends on the couple. 🙂
We dated 6.5 years before getting engaged and then got married just after our 8th anniversary! People used to bug us all the time but we did not see the rush and marriage isn’t something you rush into. We were also in college and university part of the time and I wasn’t getting married till I was in the real world!
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over a year and a half (last time I checked and did the math, ahah) and we plan to get married one day but will definitely be waiting a while to do so, until we are both finished school and whatnot, so it’ll probably be 2-3 more years before we get engaged, which I’m totally fine with – as long as it means we don’t have to actually get married RIGHT away. Nothing long with a longer engagement than one or two years to me!
I’m engaged (the big day is in May!) and we were together 4.5 years before we got engaged. The total length of engagement will be 14 months.
If you feel like 24 is too young, I’m 21! He’s 24. But — I’m graduating from college this year and going to medical school next year so it just felt like the time was right. It is a little scary to be so young though.
Today is actually my 1 month wedding anniversary! I can’t believe it has already been a month! Time flies! My husband and I dated for nearly 3 years before getting engage. 1.5 years of that was actually long distance – that was really hard. We separated for about a month before getting engaged, which was probably one of the best things for us. It gave us time to really figure things out and realize that we desparately wanted to be together. After our break we got engaged and our engagement lasted 10 months. This first month of marriage has been so wonderful! Great post, Julie!
Have a wonderful day!
I agree too, totally depends on the couple. My fiance and I dated for a little over two years before we got engaged. By the time we get married we’ll have dated for just under three years.
We dated only 3 months before getting engaged!! Had an 18 month engagement to plan our wedding, and just celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary!! 🙂
We were definitely old school. My now-husband and I met in high school, but didn’t start dating until the end of it. We had a long distance relationship throughout college, though I did a “visiting student” semester at his school so we could see if this was a relationship to consider in the future (where to look at grad school, jobs, etc.). Ultimately our relationship grew much stronger during that short time and we got married the August after we graduated from college.
We dated a total of 4.5 years before we were married, but we were also quite young. I think when you’re older that amount of time isn’t necessary because you are more settled.
However, I also think that since my husband and I have always considered each other when making big decisions it has made it easier in some ways because we’ve grown together and weren’t used to our own ways. I know my brother, who is 27, struggles with whether his girlfriend is “the one” and has problems compromising because he’s not used to having to.
Wow, that was pretty long and pointless!
My boyfriend and I are in a lovely relationship and we have been dating for 2 years. I assume we’ll be getting engaged with in the next 2 years and married about a year after that!
This month marks my five year anniversary with my boyfriend, and we probably won’t be engaged for at least another year and a half. We’re currently long distance (he’s getting his PhD in another state) which puts a damper on the whole moving forward with our lives thing ; ) We both agree that, if we were currently living together, we’d just get married now, but we find it kind of silly to be engaged while living six hours away from each other!
My husband and I are high school sweethearts 🙂 We started dating when he was a jr and I was a sr. We dated for almost 7 years before getting engaged. We were married one year to the day later. We’ve now been married just over a year and are just a few weeks away from 9 years together.
I think that length of engagement and dating has a lot to do with age too (although there are obviously exceptions to everything lol). I met my husband when I was 17. I couldn’t imagine marrying him 6 months later bc I had NO IDEA where my life would be going. But if you meet when you’re 30, you definitely have a better idea of what you want and where you’re headed, and I think it’s easier to know if you’re “meant to be” a couple. 🙂
TOTALLY depends on the couple!! I met my husband in Sep of 2009 and we were engaged by that February (2010) and married that April (2010). We just KNEW and wanted it 🙂
So romantic I know! Hah. He is definitely MY one and only!!
Your pancakes look fab!
I dated my ex for 4 years and kept wishing we would get engaged… now I’m SO glad we didn’t. My husband and I were dating for only 7 months (May – Dec 2010) before we got engaged and then got married 9 months after that (Sept 2011)… but apparently he bought the ring after 4 months!
When the right person comes along, time doesn’t matter! 🙂
3 months. We’re still married 8 years later. (we were engaged one year) I am truly blessed. I am a rare person that met and married their husband young and stayed married. I think it helps he’s eleven years my senior.
In France people seem to be getting engaged, then married quicker and quicker. Then they have kids (or not) and divorce a couple of years after, sometimes very shortly after. Some have babies soon after they’ve met and then separate too soon. Of course I’m generalizing but I feel that they don’t spend enough time together to be really sure they want to be with this person for the rest of their lives. I feel very strongly about this and I agree with you. I also over think big decisions but for me at least, by doing that I want to reassure myself before anything else. I want to know I had enough time to weigh the for and against, how it’ll change me and my life and all that. I know sometimes I exaggerate but that’s me 😉 I’ve never been in a long term relationship might I add so that may change we’ll see 😉
I just wanted to add that of course what I said only applies to me, maybe when you meet “the one” you know instantly and it doesn’t matter how long you date 😀
Jon and I dated for just over a year before getting engaged at the oh-so-young age of 20. (I turned 21 one month after we got engaged.) We were engaged for 2.5 years, so we were together for over 3 years before we got married. I love him and I love our life together, but sometimes I look back and think, “What were we THINKING?!”
My husband and started dating in June 2005, moved in together in March 2008, got engaged in March 2009 and married in June 2010. There were times I couldn’t wait for a proposal, but looking back, the 5+ years we were together before getting married, was perfect for us.
PS – Do you have fiesta wear dishes?! We registered for them and LOVE them. They’re so bright and fun.
first of all, i LOVED that book so much! second, today is my 3 year anniversary with my boyfriend and i think 3 years seems like a good time to get engaged : ) seriously though, i firmly believe that the relationship to look for is one where you don’t feel like you’re “waiting” for something, but living your life- no matter what stage of life you’re in!
We’ve been dating 9 and a half years (since tenth grade)! He’s in law school and I’m getting a PhD so we’re still doing long distance (we dated throughout high school and did long distance for college and grad school….) but we’re so excited to finally be together and get engaged soon!
It was a solid 10 years before Jay and I got engaged…granted, we DID start dating at 15 & 16, so you know, I suppose the wait was necessary.
I’ll say that I was ready around year 8 or 9 though! 😉
My fiance and I dated for almost 6 years before he proposed. Personally, I don’t think you have to be with someone for years to know that they are “the one.” I probably knew I wanted to marry Vishnu after 6 months of dating.
In the Indian culture, marriages where the couple is introduced by family are common (even in the US), and a lot of people make the decision to get married after only knowing each other for a few months. And you honestly wouldn’t be able to tell them apart from a couple that dated for years before taking the plunge. You’re absolutely right, it really just depends on the couple.
It’s not the length of time, it’s if the person is the right one. I dated somebody for 2 years, then got engaged and spent a year planning the wedding, so we were together for 3 years before getting married. Well, the marriage didn’t even last a year. A few years later I met the right guy, and we were engaged within 6 months, married within 1 year of our first date, and will celebrate our 16 th anniversary this New Year’s Eve.
We met in September 2004, and were engaged in August 2009. We got married in September 2010, and just celebrated our 1 year anniversary! 🙂
I met my husband my sophomore year of college, his 1st senior year…or second junior year…ha. Anyway, we dated for 1 year 3 months then were engaged for 13 months. I always heard date at least a year. Not to mention, in the south we tend to get married younger. I was 21 when I got married, Bobby was 23. I knew I wanted to be with him forever so I figured why wait and live apart for many years? (which leads me to another point. People who co habitate seem to not get married as quickly as those who wait until after marriage to live together) We have been married 5 years this January and I can’t imagine if we had dated until just now to get married!
Keith and I got engaged on our 1 year anniversary and have been married almost 6 years. But we also knew eachother our whole lives since our families are really good friends. So when Keith and I started dating I think we both knew we’d get married. We also talked about dating for like 4 years before we actually took the plunge. We were both worried about family drama but thankfully everyone was super excited and we even got a lot of “well it’s about time” or “finally” for most people.
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years and there is no way I am ready to get engaged! But I think each to their own, if you are ready after 6 weeks then don’t let the time hold you back! Loved the book! Looking forward to the discussion on the 15th!
My hubby and I dated for 7 years before we got engaged… Mainly because we are high school sweethearts 🙂
In fact this December is our 10 year dating anniversary!
I’m a complete overthinker so I typically wait toooo long before making even simple decisions. I’m not married, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to waiver on this when the time comes as well unfortunately. My mind goes off on crazy tangents!
Take it easy on the workouts. Everyone is different, but it takes a good 10-14 days to recovery after a half marathon. Even though you may feel good, you put a significant amount of stress on your muscles, joints and body in the race. You pushed hard and there are tiny tears in those muscle fibers whether you feel them or not. When you push it too hard too soon after a big race, that it when you risk injury. I have seen it happen time and time again. I have 10+ half marathons and 7 marathons under my belt and I have made all mistakes…believe me! Great job on the race though. Very impressive!
Ugh! Wish someone gave me this advice! Ran a half marathon in June – felt great afterward. Did a bootcamp class the next day – still felt good but hips felt fatigued. Ran three miles a couple days letter – PAIN! I’ve been dealing with IT band syndrome since then (almost 5 months now!) and I still can’t run more than 15 min. without sharp pains – totally not worth it. I’ve tried taking full months off from running, I foam roll often, I’ve been to physical therapy – so far nothing has worked. I’m sure if I rested a few more days I could have avoided this. Wah wah!
My husband got married on our 6.5 year dating anniversary. We did start dating in high school though, so we definitely waited longer than most.
If I were to start dating someone when I was a bit older, I probably would not date them for nearly as long before getting married. When you are young, it is so important to grow with the person. Sometimes you end up growing away from the person – but only time will tell.
I think that every circumstance is different. I do think a lot of people rush into marriage, because they feel like they have to be married too because their friends are (I def have a couple of friends like that).
My husband and I met when we were 16, got engaged at 21 (during college), married at 22, first child at 23, and now at 26, we have 2 boys. Everyone is so different!
Wow! I cant believe all of these 5 year dating stories – My boyfriend will be 29 and I am 27 – We have been dating almost 2 years and talk about our wedding like we are actually engaged so i’m assuming it will be soon but i dont really wanna assume. Make sense? haha
John and I dated for 5 months and then we got engaged. Our engagement was 13 months. We were friends for 4 years prior to all this 🙂
Josh and I have been dating a year now and while we both know each other is “the one” we see no rush to get engaged. I have a year left of college (im 21) and he has two years left in his phd program (he’s 27). We both want to wait until we are settled down with degrees and jobs. As Josh said, “if you’ve found the perfect person they aren’t going anywhere.” Well probably live together that last year of his phd program and then get engaged in about three years, when we are living in an area we see ourselves in for a while with careers to afford a wedding. I think its funny how much people judge things like marriages and babies based on age. Despite it not feeling like there is any age difference between us, if I got married and or pregnant tomorrow people would say omg what did she do wrong, whereas if that happpened to josh people would be congratulating him without any hesitation. I think 24 will be a good age to get engaged!
I’m pretty sure I will be getting engaged within the next 6 months and we’ve been dating for 2 years. That being said, I would have married this guy the weekend I met him because that’s how sure I was. Love at first sight, I completely believe in it.
There’s so much pressure from society if you’ve been dating for a while and aren’t engaged yet – but I see both sides. Part of me thinks that he should definitely know you’re the one after a certain point – and want to scoop you off the market! But then there’s the other side, if you aren’t in a rush to have kids or anything.. why rush an engagement/wedding? maybe he’s saving up for something extra special? Plus you’d way rather have him see it as a big decision and really mean it when he proposes versus feeling pressured into it 🙂 I love how you said it – “I wanted to do it once and do it right” – so true!
Since I started dating my husband when I was 16 (he was 18), we waited 6.5 years to get engaged. It was a week before my 23rd birthday and I STILL felt too young. Like you said, I knew he was the one but I felt a bit awkward about it b/c of our age. We were married at 24 & 26 and now looking back (5 years later,) I understand why people say that’s young to get married. A lot can change from your early 20’s to late 20’s, I feel lucky to have picked the right guy b/c there have been MANY changes 🙂
My husband and I dated for about 5 years before getting married. Not a very long engagement either. Lol.
I think you’re right, it really depends on the couple. My husband and I started dating at the beginning of our freshman year in college, got engaged during junior year, and got married as soon as we graduated! That timeline worked really well for us and we couldn’t imagine graduating college and not being together forever. 🙂
We had been dating a little over a year before we got engaged and were married after being together over two years. I really think it just depends. I dated a guy for almost four years and things between us ended, so clearly time spent dating isn’t the tell-all.
My grandpa married my grandma when she only spoke German and my gpa only knew English. When he asked her to marry him she thought he was just giving her a ring as a present! They’re still married today and they’re so awesome together!
Oh my god – this is the cutest story. Love is truly the most important thing – who cares if you speak the same language when your hearts speak to each other!
I woke up the morning after we met and knew he was the one. We got married after only knowing each other for 9 months. I was 23 and so was he.
If we had to do it over again, I think we would have moved slower. I might have liked to live together first, but that wasn’t an option for us. Of course, had we not gotten married, we probably would have broken up, and I would’ve moved out of Oklahoma.
I love reading all of these stories! My boyfriend and I met during my sophomore year in college, his junior year. Since he is originally from Massachusetts and I am from New Jersey, we did the long distance thing in the summers during college. Since then, we have made it through postgrad life and the whole long distance thing, from him being in Stamford, CT and then Las Vegas and then Boston again. I think it says a lot that we never once worried that we could make it work. We are currently still long distance, but we see each other every 2 weeks and he plans to move to NJ within the next year. I always say I want to be older when I get engaged (I’m only 23 now), but in the end, if it were to happen now, I’d be so excited and happy. 🙂
My husband and I dated for four years before we got engaged. We met when I was 19 (he was 25), and married when I was 24 and he was 30. I know I’m over-generalizing a bit, but I think that people should date longer if they themselves are younger. With more life experience, you understand better what you want out of a partner and probably don’t need to date as long to be sure.
I also completely agree with what your teacher said about needing to weather hardship together, but I think I’d expand it to experiencing important milestones as a couple. Knowing that someone will be there for you when you’ve experienced a loss (or conversely, will be open with you when he does) is incredibly important, but it’s also important to know that he will support you and not begrudge your success when good things happen, as well. Especially since success often comes with big lifestyle changes, and you want someone who’s willing to adapt to that.
i’m definitely more like you in the sense that i have been dating my current boyfriend for 4 and a half years and absolutely feel like there is a future but am way too indecisive and overthinking these things that i feel like its too soon for marraige etc. lol
I think “how long” really depends on age and how mature you are. My husband and I dated 1.5 years before getting engaged – I was 29, he was 27, and we were both really ready to be grown-ups.
My boyfriend and I have been together nearly 3.5 years, and we’re very close to getting engaged at this point. The ring is picked out…I just don’t know exactly when it will happen 😉
I agree with you completely – I think it depends on the couple. For me, it was actually a good thing that we’ve dated as long as we have, because we both have been through a lot together and we’ve seen how well we work together in different situations.
I knew Nick for four years before we started dating. We were acquaintances and were always dating other people… then we became friends… then we were no longer dating other people… and it just fell into place. We moved in together after only a few months of dating. We got engaged after 6 years of dating/living together. (when I was 26). I think when you already live together, getting married really doesn’t change things much so I wasn’t in a hurry to make it “official”. We’ve only been married a little over four months now but I’m loving it.
My parents got married after dating for less than a year. They were actually both no-shows for their first date! But bumped into each other again and things moved quickly from there – over 40 years of marriage later they’re still going strong.
Both my sisters dated their husbands for 7 years before getting married – one’s marriage lasted 5 years, the other’s lasted 15 – both ended in divorce 🙁
So I agree, long-term dating does not guarantee a good marriage – but I, personally, can’t imagine marrying spontaneously!
Josh and I have been dating for 2 1/2 years and have been living together for a year and a half. Living together has only strengthened our relationship (I was ready to say yes after a year). I expect and hope for the ultimate question by the end of the holiday season!
I dated my fiance for three years and we lived together for two years before we got engaged. I think that you should date someone for at least a year and live together for a year or so before getting engaged.
I recently moved to Utah from FL and there are a ton of people here who got engaged after a handful of dates and married after a couple of months, they think that my fiance and I are crazy for being together for so long and not being married yet.
This comment made me smile. We Mormons are really fast. My parents met,dated and married 3 months later. 5 kids and 16 years later and they are still going strong!
Like you, I’m also an over-thinker when it comes to big life decisions! I can basically talk myself out of anything. Luckily, I have a patient husband 🙂 We met my freshman year of college, and while he was ready for a relationship right away, I wasn’t. We were friends for 2 1/2 years before I asked him out during junior year (he had already asked me out twice, and had been told ‘no,’ so he made it clear he wasn’t trying again). We made it through college, a long distance relationship while we got our master’s degrees, and were married 5 years after we started dating (though we had known each other for 7)! I agree that it depends on the couple, but I think the friendship my husband and I built before dating created a solid bond and base for our relationship. I’m truly married to my best friend!