My legs were not yet ready for an intense leg workout at the gym this morning. Still recovering!
I kept things light and began with 20 minutes on the elliptical before doing three sets of 15 repetitions of the following exercises at a lighter-than-usual weight:
- Step ups
- Deadlifts
- One-legged leg press
- Lunges
- Hamstring curls on exercise ball
Though my legs still feel a bit fatigued, they’re almost back to normal and lightly working them out felt good!
I rounded out my workout with another 10 minutes on the elliptical while reading Better Homes & Gardens magazine which reaffirmed my disinterest in gardens (totally skipped that section) and also made me feel bad about my lack of interior design skills. At least I found a great recipe to try!
Breakfast
Initially I wanted to make banana bread protein pancakes this morning, but we only had a small amount of oatmeal, so I made a batch of Stonewall Kitchen gingerbread pancakes and added some oats to the mix!
Topped with cinnamon chia seed granola and syrup!
Dating Duration Before Engagement
Last week I finished reading American Wife, the book we selected to read for the PBF October Book Club.
The book follows the life of Alice Lindgren, a Wisconsin girl who grows up, gets married and inevitably finds herself in Washington D.C. as the first lady of the United States.
In the book, she falls in love with Charlie Blackwell and they are engaged within a couple of months.
I remember taking a child development class in high school and I had a teacher who was adamant when she said that couples should date for at least three years before getting engaged because during a three-year timeframe, you’re likely to go through a significant change together, have some serious fights and weather a few dramatic events.
Ryan and I met my freshman year in college and dated for 5 1/2 years before getting engaged. Oddly enough, when we did get engaged, I still wasn’t sure we waited long enough (I was only 24!) even though I definitely knew he was “the one” and absolutely saw a future with him. Big decisions take a long time for me to make because I tend to over think them, almost to a fault. Getting married was a huge deal to me and I wanted to do it once and do it right.
To be totally honest, if Ryan would not have said “we’re getting a dog,” I’m not sure we’d even have Sadie. Yes, I wanted a dog, but I was so worried about being a good dog owner and giving a dog enough exercise and attention that I always talked myself out of it. Now I can’t imagine life without Sadie!
Though I tend to be overly cautious with big decisions, I absolutely love the stories of couples who met, got engaged on the third date and were married for 65 years. That kind of spontaneity and passion makes the romantic side of me turn to mush!
In the end, I think the ideal amount of dating time before an engagement completely depends on the couple.
Question of the Morning
- If you’re married, how long did you date your spouse before getting engaged?
- If you’re single or dating, how long do you think you’d like to be with someone before getting engaged (assuming you want to do so one day)?
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My husband and I got engaged on the day after our 6 year anniversary. I think 6 years was good for us. We always knew we were going to get married, but neither of us were in a huge hurry to do it. Plus we lived together for 4 of those years, so it was like we were already married anyway. 🙂
Pierre and I only dated 2 months before getting engaged. It was perfect for the both of us and the right decision. We got married a year later and we’ve been married almost 5 years. I wouldn’t change a thing about our story so far.
Pierre’s parents met a few times at a diner his mom was working at, were apart for 2 months (his dad is in the Navy), and got married right after he came back from sea. they’ve been married for over 30 years and love one another like I’ve never seen. It’s such an awesome story!
My husband and I dated for about 3 years before we got engaged. At the time it didn’t feel like we were “too young” but I was 23 and he was 25. We’ve been married for 7 years and have a 2 year old.
For us the timing was perfect because we enjoyed being a young married couple and then as we got a little older we put our focus into starting a family. There hasn’t been a big rush on anything (except now that I’m 31 my clock seems to be ticking a little louder these days for baby no. 2).
My husband and I met 5 years ago on eharmony. I was 25 he was 23. Previously we were both in 5-7 year relationships that ended up not being the one. Our first date was in August, by April he already purchased a ring and he proposed in June (in Japan!) 14 months later we were married and still going strong 3 years later.
Every person is different and every relationship is different.
My mom told me, when you know you’ll know. I always thought she was full of it- turns out Mom knows best 🙂
I feel ya! I met my husband at our freshman orientation at college, and we dated for 3 and a half years before getting married. We hit the 3 year mark right about the time we got engaged. I do see the point the teacher made about 3 years and going through changes–that was mine and Derek’s experience. In the South though, people get married younger. I live in DC now, and people give me a hard time about being married at 24. I don’t let it bother me too much haha 🙂
You and Ryan waited like the exact time period I would like to wait 🙂 Me and my boy-friend have been dating 3 years now (since I was 16 and I’m 19 now). We don’t want to get married till I’m like 23 years old though and near complete with college (I’m pre-physical therapy). So we’ll be dating 6 years nearly 7 years by the time that we get married haha. As long as we’re together and happy though that’s what matters <3
I met my husband in grade school and we loved each other then. We grew up went separate ways, married other people, got divorced, found each other again. We dated for two months and got married. Sixteen years later…still in love! We are best friends.
We dated about a year and a half before getting engaged. We’ve now been married more than 3 years now (together more than 5) and very happy. We have an awesome marriage. 😀
We got engaged just shy of 6 years of dating. We met my freshman year of college too (his sophomore year). I was also 24 when we were engaged. And, 25 when we got married last year.
My fiance and I just got engaged 3 weeks ago and we had been dating for 13 months prior to that. We started talking a year prior to that but were in different locations and didn’t make things official for a while, which I think definitely helped to make us both sure that we wanted to be in the relationship and take it to the next level.
It’s funny though because I was with my previous boyfriend for 5 years and ended up breaking up with him because I knew the next step was getting engaged and I didn’t think we were there…I knew after that relationship that I would meet someone and things would progress quickly which is exactly what happened!
My boyfriend and I started dating freshman year of university, broke up for 1 year and now we’ve been back together for 2.5 years (I’m 23). Although when people ask, I usually just say we’ve been dating for 5 year 🙂 If we were older, I think we would probably be engaged, but we both feel like we’re so young to be getting married when we haven’t really figured out what we want to do with the rest of our lives! We know we’re in it for the long haul, so why rush marriage? Plus, I would like a nice wedding and a ballin’ honeymoon and we’re broke students right now haha.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for five years, and while we talk about getting married, we’re not in a big rush (we’re still just babies at 22!)
My boyfriend now of almost 4 months have talked about getting marriage for at least 2 months now. We have known each other since I was in middle school (about 8-9 years). We truly believe we should be together for the rest of our life. Even though some others may think that we’re absolutely crazy. 🙂
I was the same about getting married, and I got married when I was 32 and I still was wondering if I should do it cuz big steps scare me! I BARELY wanted to move in with him because I was worried it would ruin the good thing we had. Luckily, it did not. 🙂
But Fabian and I dated for 6 years, engaged for 15 months. So 7 years dating altogether.
Lol I met my Husband 10/30/2009, we literally spent two days together before I flew back home to FL and we got engaged that thanksgiving with only having spent three days together in person. We got married 12/21/2009 and it has been the most amazing thing I have ever been a part of. I wouldn’t change any of it for anything because we are totally perfect for each other, as cliche as that sounds when you know you know.
I am engaged now, actually, and we got engaged after only a year and a half of dating! Sometimes it seems like it happened so fast, but he was my best guy friend since I was twelve years old, so I think that must count for something! ^.^
My husband and I dated for about 5 years before getting engaged. We began dating exclusively when I was 17 and he was 19, and he was more than ready to get married by the time we were 20 and 22! haha. He’s always said he’s known he’d marry me from the first time he talked to me, but like you, I am a very cautious person by nature, and I was definitely not on the same page. As I grew older, I knew I would eventually marry my husband, but I was by no means waiting for a ring. He surprised me by proposing in 2008, when I was 22, after we’d been dating 5 years. On top of that, we chose a wedding date 2 years out, so we were dating over 7 years by the time we were married – quite a long time when you get married at 24!
My boyfriend and I have been together now for 8 and a half years happily. we have DEFINITELY been through a lot during that time and we will definitely get married but honestly we arent in a hurry and i dont feel a lot will change when we get married though I am sure we will within the next few years!
We met while we were in college (I was 19 he was 20), and have been nearly inseparable ever since. After graduation and moving across the country together 3 years later, we got engaged. A year and a half later we got married (I was 23, he was 25)
We’ve been married a year and a half now, and we’re about to celebrate 6 years together this Thanksgiving!
For me, I think 2 years at the minimum is an ok amount of time to date before being engaged. The direction I’m headed, it’ll be about 2 1/2 years. I think when you know, “you know.” But it’s definitely important to learn to grow individually without growing apart. I think it’s important not to jump into living together and balancing your relationships with friends and your significant other.
Interesting post! Being someone who is 26 and just dating, I think it really depends on the couple! My parents dated for a year and a half before getting married and have been married for 29 years. My brother dated his girlfriend for 10 years before getting engaged. Me? I guess time will tell!
By the way, the pancakes look amazing!
I’ve been with my boyfriend for just over three years now, and I’m starting to get a little antsy. We met in law school and dated for 11 months before he went away for school for 1 year, so we were long distance during that time period. After that we moved in together (had been dating just about 2 years) and it was only then that it started to feel like we were dating in “real life” with jobs, an apartment, etc.
My baby sister started dating her now husband, got engaged in less than a year and married a year after that. Everyone thought that that should upset me because when they got engaged, I’d been with my boyfriend a year longer. But, they met in “real life.” He’s older and settled, and my sister was already settled into her career.
I really think that whether you met in school or after school matters. If you meet in school it can take a lot longer to get settled and face some real world challenges together.
^ I completely agree. My husband and I dated while I was in high school, then while we were in college, and got engaged just after I had begun law school. The “school” thing was definitely a factor in dragging out our engagement and wedding. It can feel weird to get so settled in that aspect of your life when everything else is sort of up in the air.
Haha I laughed out loud when I read what you said about having no interest in gardening and feeling bad about your interior design skills because I always feel the same EXACT way when I read Better Homes & Gardens! My mother-in-law got me a subscription to BH&G this past year, and as much as I love all the ideas, every single time, I am reminded how much I’m not interested in gardening and how I feel badly about my interior design skills.
My husband and I dated only a year before getting engaged. We’ve known each other and have been friends since we were 12, so that helped. My husband has always said that when he wants something, he knows it and he’ll get it. Ha. You’re definitely right though, it absolutely depends on the couple and where they are in life. I don’t think there’s a “set” number of years you have to date before you get engaged.
My husband and I dated for 3 1/2 years before we got engaged and we were engaged for a year. We just celebrated our 2 year anniversary and honestly, I feel that only now do I fully understand the concept of marriage and what a serious commitment it is. I love being married and my husband is phenomenal.
One of my best friends dated her boyfriend for 6 years and they lived in a NYC studio apartment (NYC apartments are small enough to begin with) for about 5 years. They were engaged for a year and got married in May 2010. I always felt if they could survive living in a small space like that, they’d be together forever. Unfortunately after a year of marriage they got divorced.
I don’t think there is a magical number that makes marriage work. I think as long as you are both dedicated to each other and making it work, it will.
My relationship with my husband just works. We ‘get’ each other, laugh together, and have such a great time together. Like they say, “When you know, you know.”
Dan and I dated for 4.5 years for the same reason as you and Ryan. We were 24 (and a half ) when we got married and I STILL feel like that was super young. We didn’t rush kids – though everyone and their brother thought we should.
I do think it’s different as you get older. Not that you don’t change, but you definitely become more set in your ways as you reach your 30s and I think it’s more acceptable to meet and get married within a year or two of dating.
My middle brother is taking things to extreme though – he finally proposed to his girlfriend after dating for 10+years and now they are participating in the worlds longest engagement. I’m trying not to be a pain about it – but I officially want a sister already!
I think it totally depends on the couple. Some people, like my aunt and uncle, dated for 7 years and were engaged for 4.5 years before they tied the knot! They’ve been married 4 years now and have an almost-two-year-old baby girl and are happier than ever. Waiting for them just worked. On the other hand, my mom and step-dad got married exactly one year after they met – to the day. And they just celebrated their 9-year anniversary. Sometimes you just know.
Me, I’ve been dating my boyfriend for nearly three years now. I can definitely see a future with him and we talk about it all the time, but at the same time, I’m in no rush. I’m only 21 (almost 22!) and tend to be like you — I over think big decisions. I grew up with divorced parents and don’t ever want to experience it firsthand. If Dustin’s the guy I’m supposed to be with forever, then waiting a few more years won’t matter. We’re still together 🙂
I definitely agree with your viewpoints on dating before engagement. Though some quick engagements have led to life-time marriages, I think you really need to know someone before making a commitment to them.
My husband and I got engaged on our one-year anniversary and were married four months later! (exactly four months ago!)
Looking back, we were talking about marriage about three months into the relationship. I know both of us knew early on that we were “soulmates” if you will, but it was kind of an unspoken thing. (it scared the crap out of me, to be honest)
I just got engaged 1.5 weeks ago (YAY!!!) and our 1 year dating anniversary is this Saturday. We met in August last year, and already talked about getting married and having kids one week after “officially” being together. In April, I moved from Germany to Canada to be with him and couldn’t be happier! We plan to get married in March/April next year. I know that he’s “the One”, so I don’t need to wait any longer! 🙂 But I strongly agree, it always depends on the couple and the specific circumstances in their life’s. You have to do what feels right for you !
congratulations!!!
I will agree that it entirely depends on the couple. I dated my ex husband for SEVEN years before we got married. A few months later found out that he was keeping HUGE secrets from me… things really turned over the first two years of our marriage and we got divorced shortly thereafter.
The biggest advice I would give is to trust your instincts always… they are almost always right when it comes to matters of the heart! Even if you can’t quite put your finger on what isn’t right.
I would like to be with my husband for at last 8 months before getting engaged, although preferably a year!
My parents met and got married within 6months. Timing was perfect for the both of them as far as what stages of life they were in. I really think that timing is everything and often see people wait until their careers are in line or school is finished . When my dad proposed to my mom he asked her “I wonder what our kids will look like” and somewhat blindsided her because they barely knew each other, one month to be exact. They have been married for 32 years now 🙂
My husband and I dated for only about 6 months before getting engaged. However, we had been friends for a solid 8 years before we started dating. We went to high school together, but only really got to know one another during my senior year, his junior year. Yes, I’m a cradle robber 😉
When we did take the plunge into dating, we already knew each other pretty well. We basically skipped the “getting to know you” phase of dating. I always knew that if our relationship became more than just friends, I knew that would be it. I’m glad we took the risk – because it was a risk in our eyes, neither one of us wanting to lose a friend. Life worked out just the way it was meant to 🙂
I love reading these stories too! It gives me perspective. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a year–we’re both 24–and we both know that we’re soulmates, but it seems a little crazy to get engaged soon. I think three years is a good standard for those of us in early/mid-twenties.
We dated 5 1/2 years before getting engaged (started dating when I was 16, he was 17), and then had a 1-year engagement. Just celebrated 8 years together in September!
Jarod and I dated for almost exactly four years before we got engaged. He was 25 and I was 27. We owned a house together and had been through many of life’s “moments” during that time. We knew we were ready to get married. It’s funny though, because at our wedding, people kept joking about how long it took Jarod to ask me. I’m happy we waited four years. It was the perfect amount of time for us. Now I know I’m spending my life with the right person 🙂
We started dating when we were 15, got engaged six years later at 21, and were married on our 8th dating anniversary at 23! We are young, but knew it was right!
My husband and I dated only 8 months before we got engaged. We were engaged for 6 months and have been married for 8 weeks now. I used to think I wanted to date the guy I was to marry at least a year before he asked, but since we are both well out of college and in our careers now, we thought that waiting was silly. I couldn’t be happier!
We dates 6 months before we got engaged but didn’t get married for another year and a half. I wanted to get married on Dec. 18 the same day my parents, grandparents, and great, great grandparents got married so having a longer engagement worked out perfectly!
My husband and I dated for 2 years before we got engaged. We were engaged for 6 months before we got married. But I knew he was “the one” the moment I saw him. Isn’t that funny? I never really believed in live at first sight, but now I know it’s true!
I’ve been dating the coach for about a year and three months, and I dont even want to think about marriage. I’ve never had the “wow, he’s my soulmate” thought – which scares me. Have we weathered some crazy things? Sure…Do we get along amazingly, make each other happy, can I see myself with him forever? Yeah, but I want to make sure it’s not just a fleeting feeling. Like you, I want to do it once, so I want to have ZERO doubts and be 100% sure of the decision…which right now, I wouldnt. Besides, we both have so much growing to do – professionally, personally, etc…I’m perfectly content just dating for a few more years!
I got married just over a week ago so I am LOVING this topic! My now husband and I dated for just about a year and a half when we got engaged. But, we had known each other since high school so we had been friends for 14 years before becoming a couple. Even if he had asked only a few months after dating, I still would have said “yes” because I knew he was the one regardless of the time frame. 🙂
Love, not live!
My husband and I had a short/long engagement. We met in Honduras and then six months later I had to move back to the U.S. We got engaged six months after that (a year after we started dating) and then got married about 2.5 years later. However, those 2.5 years were spent apart (I only saw him a few times a year since he was still in Honduras and I was in the U.S.). He moved to the U.S. three months before we got married so in total we had only physically been together for 9 months (six months when we starting dating and then the three months before we got married). I blame part of it on immigration because he couldn’t get a visa to come visit, he could only get a fiance visa. Plus, we had to get married within 90 days of his arrival in the U.S. So although I would have liked to have spent more time together, it wasn’t really an option.
The first year of marriage was quite difficult because we hardly knew each other anymore (three years apart will do that). However, I love him with all my heart and am so glad I took the plunge! It has been an adventure but I would do it again in a heartbeat.
Good morning! I thought I would share my story 🙂 my husband and I went on our first date June 30th 2007 and were inseperable from the begining. In October we found out that he was going to be deployed to Iraq. That made us take a long hard look at our relationship and things all of a sudden got REAL serious. December 15th 2007 we got engaged. We didn’t have time to plan a wedding before he left and truthfully everyone was telling us it was too fast and to wait until he came back. On December 31st 2007 we eloped in secret. Talk about being nervous! I am not one to go against what my family suggests. It was very scary times, but we got through it and we planned had a wedding after he got home in September 2008. So this December we will have been married 4 years. I will call it a success when we are still married in our 80’s. When we were first together I second guess my self a lot but I am glad we did what we did because it has been an amazing 4 years.
My boyfriend and I met my freshman year of college but didn’t start dating till both of us had graduated from school. We have now been dating for almost two years. I know he is the one. I don’t know if I have a time frame for how long we should date before we get engaged. I think when it happens it happens, and that means its the right time!
You and Ryan have such a cute story 🙂
Here’s an opinion of a single girl like myself!
I agree with you as in it depends on the couple. I think 1 month, 1 week, 5 years or even 10 years are all perfectly acceptable! I am 24 years old and I have had 2 long term relationships in my life. Although I loved both of these guys..our lives did not “mesh” together. We had compatible personalites but what I wanted in life and what they wanted in life seemed to be completely different. When you find a guy who wants all the same things in life as you, and you get that feeling like you just KNOW it’s him you want to marry, I don’t think you need to wait years and years. That being said, I do have a spontaneous personality and do things on a whim! 🙂
My parents started dating at 18 years old and didn’t get married until 28!! Although they said they knew they would get married as soon as they met… they just didn’t wanna rush it!
Therefore, I agree that I don’t think the length of dating before getting engaged/married matters at all! Whatever makes you happy!
I love the stories of people waiting 4-5-6 years but I’m in a different boat. I just turned 30 (he’s 34) and have been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. I HATE being this old and not being married but I am actually happy not being engaged yet. I want to date for 2-3 years before engagement but the older you get, the longer that seems. If we had met at 20 or 21, it’d be different. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I only want to get engaged NOW because of the age thing. If age were no factor, I wouldn’t be in this rush. It’s frustrating but I guess, if it’s it right, it will happen in it’s own time and I should just enjoy things as they are now because I’ll never get this time back!
haha this question is kind of interesting because i’ve been engaged before..but it didnt work out. me and my exfiance were together for around 5 years before he popped the question..I had graduated from college and we had finally moved in together. we were engaged for another 2 years after that…but I knew my heart just wasnt in it. I wasnt excited or motivated to plan my wedding or my life with him. you change SO much over the course of 7 years, especially when you are dating since you are 17. I was so scared to break it off with him because of how long we’d been together but i’m so happy I did…because a couple months after we had broken up, I met the real love of my life..and now we’ve been dating for almost 2 years next month. I knew I wanted to marry him after only a few months..and I know its right bc i’ve never felt so sure of anything in my whole life. we moved in together after being inseperable for 6 months..and we’ve definitely been through alot together so far. we arent engaged yet, but its only because we’re waiting for his job situation to change…i’m pretty sure it will happen soon. its just crazy the way life goes sometimes, huh?
i think a lot of people get married b/c of timing and b/c it’s the “next logical step.” i’m so glad you decided to hold out! it sounds like your boyfriend is a catch!
A big reason people used to get engaged/married in less time than nowadays is because they used to save themselves for marriage, and there was no birth control so there was even more than religious reasons for waiting until marriage before jumping in the sack. My husband and I also waited until we were married, and trust me – 14 months from meeting to marriage was long enough to wait!!! We were both in our mid-twenties and ready for marriage too, which is a little different than meeting at 17.