Early yesterday morning, my mom and dad called me to let me know that my grandmother, Mimi, passed away peacefully during her sleep Saturday night.
If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know how much Mimi means to me. She was the matriarch of my mother’s side of the family and was always the spunkiest member of the bunch. I cannot wrap my head around the fact that I will no longer hear her stories and contagious laughter or feel the warmth of her hugs or taste one of her homemade sugar cookies.
This morning, I find myself sitting here, feeling the weight of losing Mimi, unsure what to really do with myself. When emotions have overwhelmed me in the past, one thing helps me work through everything and that is writing. So today I am writing a letter to Mimi, my beautiful grandmother.
Dear Mimi,
I love you. I miss you.
I miss the smell of your house. I miss watching you add an item to one of your many lists, your handwriting a perfect cursive that reflected your incredible artistic ability. I miss watching you spread jelly on your English muffin at the breakfast table in your silk floral robe. You somehow always managed to look glamorous at 7 a.m.
I miss the way you would use the words “tickled to death” to express your excitement over anything that brought you joy. I miss the way you would light up whenever you’d tell stories about Papa and the love you two shared. I know he was so happy to see you, the mother of his children, in heaven on Father’s Day yesterday.
When I learned of your passing, the tears came immediately. I couldn’t stop them, but I was surprised when I also couldn’t stop all of the happy memories that came flooding to the forefront of my mind. These memories only made me cry harder but they also left me with a feeling of comfort. I had 30 years with you. Thirty years with a grandmother who could not have loved her daughters or grandchildren more. Thirty years with a grandmother who absolutely could not wait to become a great grandmother for the first time.
Your reaction to the news of our baby is one of the most joyous memories I have of you. I will never forget the way your hands shot into the air or the squeal of delight that came from your lips when you learned you were going to be a great grandmother to a baby boy.
I wish with all my heart that you could have met our baby, but I will be forever grateful for the baby shower you and Aunt Laurie threw for me two weeks ago. You were surrounded by your family. Your sister, your daughters, your nieces and grandchildren and so much love and laughter!
You are at the center of so many family memories. Big Thanksgiving dinners at your house, served on your best dishes. Family Christmases in Gettysburg and long evening chats in your family room – you in your chair and Papa in his. A scotch on the rocks sitting on the table next to you, of course. Sanibel Island vacations and gigantic seafood dinners at McT’s and Gramma Dot’s.
We have so many memories together, Mimi, and I treasure all of them.
One story you loved to tell was a story about the time when you called my parents’ house to speak to my mother when I was very young and I answered the phone. You would laugh when you spoke of how I talked and talked to you for the longest time before you eventually asked, “Julie, where are you?” My reply? “In the closet.” Apparently I took the phone in the closet to hide because I wanted lots of uninterrupted time to talk to you. I crave that time right now, but part of me knows I can still talk to you whenever I want.
From what we’ve been told, you passed away peacefully in your sleep. I hope you were dreaming wonderful dreams. You’ve given me so many wonderful memories and served as a pillar of strength and love in our family for as long as I can remember. A social butterfly, through and through, I know you will be missed by more people than you can possibly imagine.
Count me at the very, very top of that list.
I love you, Mimi.
With love always,
Julie
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I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my grandpa last month and it never does quite feel the same. Sending thoughts and prayers to you and your family. That is beautifully written tribute to Mimi. <3
Julie! What a beautiful and heartfelt letter! I am so deeply saddened by your loss, but you’re right that even though your grandmother may not be physically with you, she’s always there in your heart, your memories, and in heaven, always watching over you. When I was 12 years old, my grandfather passed away and it was the hardest thing I have had to endure. I saw him everyday and for a time (after my mother’s divorce), he was like a father to me. It’s been 12 years since he passed away, and I still miss him everyday. Even the thought of him never fails to bring tears to my eyes. I understand how thankful you are for all the beautiful memories you have, but I also understand the deep sadness that stems from knowing there won’t be any new ones to be made. I recently got engaged, and have been missing him and my grandmother dearly, knowing that this is the beginning of many milestones I wish they could be here for. The bond between grandparents and grandchildren is so special and magical. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Julie, my heart aches for you! What a GIFT that picture of all of you women from your baby shower is. The timing of your shower was not an accident. I know you all will treasure that one last beautiful picture together. It’s almost a blessing that this loss hurts your family so much, because that means that having your Mimi in your life was such a gift. hugs!
I am so very sorry for your loss. The way you always wrote about your Mimi on the blog showed your readers just how much she meant to not only you, but everyone who knew her. Your letter was beautiful and brought tears to my eyes. Thinking of you and your family during this time.
I am so sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. ❤️
What a beautiful letter to your Mimi – it brought tears to my eyes. So sorry for you and your family. I’m glad that she was able to celebrate your baby shower a couple of weeks ago and that she could share the excitement of your little one’s expected arrival. She’ll be watching from heaven. May your Mimi rest in peace.
Hi Julie. I am so sorry about your Grandma. My deepest sympathies to you and your family. It is never easy losing someone who had such a profound impact on your life. All you can do is be grateful that you had them for the time you did and I think that your beautifully penned letter to your Mimi shows that gratitude. You are in my thoughts. xoxo
I am so very sorry to hear of her passing, Julie. This post was really beautiful, and it is clear that Mimi was just as lucky to have you in her life as you were to have her. From these photos, it looks like you look a lot like her, which is so fortunate because that means you can carry her with you always. You are so fortunate to have all of these wonderful memories. Thinking of you during this difficult time.
Julie, so sorry to hear about your loss. Your letter is beautifully worded and brought a few tears to my eyes. I’ve been a long time reader and have made Mimi’s sugar cookies-although I’m sure not as well as she did. I’m sure she will be greatly missed but fondly remembered.
Julie, I’m so so sorry for your loss. I lost my grandmother a month ago whom I was very close with, and your letter resonates deeply with me on so many levels. I know there’s nothing anyone can say at a time like this, so I’m sending you and your family lots of love, prayers, and good vibes. Mimi is looking down on you proudly and will be there watching when little Baby Fagan makes his way into the world! Thank you for sharing such a personal and heartfelt post with us today – you’re so strong! Lots of love and hugs to you xxxx <3
Aw, I’m so sorry for your loss Julie. I lost my grandfather a month before my baby was due. In his obituary it said that he had 10 grand kids and 2 1/2 great grand kids :). I so wanted him to be able to meet her so I know what you’re going through. I like to think that they have already met. That helps me through. I was also very close to my grandmother and miss the smell of her house. One day, not too long after she passed, I was making my bed and I caught a brief but overwhelming whiff of her house on my side of the bed. It stopped me in my tracks. Nothing in my room would have had that scent. It was oddly comforting. I believe she visited me. So, your mimi will always be with you and she will know your baby. I wish you peace and strength during this difficult time.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ve read your blog since I started college 4 years ago and have always enjoyed hearing about the great times you’ve had with all of your family. I lost my grandmother two years ago but had even less time with her as she truly was due to Parkinson’s. Remember to be thankful that you were able to spend time with your grandmother as she was, happy, fun, and full of smiles, until the very end.
Julie I’m so sorry for your loss. I pray for you and your family. I’ve been a long time (mostly silent) reader. She will always, always be with you.
Oh Julie! I am so sorry for your loss. It never seems fair when we loose someone we love. Your Mimi sounds like the perfect grandmother. Sending you and your family lots of prayers and love in the coming days.
I am so sorry for your loss. Your letter was absolutely beautiful and brought a few tears to my eyes. She seemed like a wonderful lady.
Julie, what a loving tribute to your Mimi. I believe there is such a thing as a beautiful death, and it seems your Mimi had one. She had a long, well-lived life and had a peaceful passing. Is there anything better? Hugs to you and your family.
So sorry to hear about your loss, but remember you have gained one more angel watching after you and your family.
I am so very sorry for your loss Julie 🙁 I know words can’t take away the pain of losing your Mimi, but her memory and legacy will forever live on in your mom, sister, you and now your son. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time <3
Your letter is beautiful, sweet, and an amazing tribute to a clearly amazing lady. So sorry for your loss. Your Mimi clearly brought so much LOVE and happiness to your family. Treasure your memories. She will be with you every step of the way.
Julie, I am sorry for your loss. I always loved reading stories on your blog about Mimi. She seemed like she was happy right up to the end and that is what you can take with you. She is now looking down on you and is your angel to look for. Your family is in my thoughts.
Julie, I am going to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers!
I’m so sorry, Julie. It is always so hard to lose a loved one… even from a natural/peaceful cause. My heart goes out to you and your family.
What a beautiful tribute! I’m so sorry for you and your family’s loss. Y’all will be in my prayers.
Julie, my heart aches for you. I lost both my Grandmas within 3 months of each other 5 years ago. I still think of them every.single.day. The love and memories will be with you forever, what a true blessing she was to you!
Julie, my sympathies. Your grandma sounds like an amazing person who was filled with only love for you and her family. Treasure your memories of her and keep her spirit alive. Thinking of you during this difficult time. <3
I am so sorry for your loss. This was a beautiful tribute!
Oh Julie I am so sorry for your loss! I know how you are feeling and nothing anyone can say can make it better. Enjoy all the wonderful memories you have of her and know you and your baby boy have a guardian angel in heaven!
Julie, I’m so sorry to hear the news of your grandmother’s passing. The letter you wrote was a lovely tribute to her! I will keep you and your family in my thoughts. Take care <3
What a beautiful letter to her, so sorry for your loss.
Julie, I am so sorry for your loss. I have read your blog for a long time and I know how much your Mimi meant to you. I hope you know I’m keeping you in my thoughts. She will be watching down over you and her great grandson and Ryan as you move through the next stage of your life.
Julie, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your Mimi seemed like such a wonderful woman and she’ll be missed by many. I’ll keep your family in my prayers.
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I lost my “Nana” 5 years ago and I still miss her each and every day. It sounds like you had wonderful memories with her, and your baby boy will have a special angel looking over him. That picture of her when she learned she would be a great grandmother is amazing and one you will cherish forever I’m sure!
I’m so sorry for your loss. This was a beautiful letter to her (I cried and I don’t even know her!), and I know she sees it and is smiling down on you.
I am so, so sorry for your loss. From following your blog over the years, it’s obvious how much you meant to each other and how loving and supportive she was. She was the cutest in your wedding video and her love for you and her family clearly ran deep. I’m sending so much love to you and your family, and keeping you all in my prayers. <3
I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family at this time. 🙁
Julie, my heart good out to you. I’m so sorry for your loss. Praying for you. <3
Oh, Julie… I am so sorry for your loss. I always loved reading about your Mimi (that’s what we call my mom’s mom, too). She seemed like such a fun and awesome lady. I’ll be praying for you and your family.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and yours today and hoping you all find peace soon.
This is beautiful. I am so sorry for your loss. She seems like such a beautiful person!
I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my grandma recently too so this really hit home. This letter is beautiful and your Grandma seemed like a really special lady.
Julie,
I’ve been a long time reader and know how much you loved Mimi. I’m so very sorry for your loss, I know how bad it hurts. My Grandma was one of my favorite people and loosing her left a hole in my heart. The memories you have will never die and she will live on in your heart forever. Your so fortunate she was able to see you and your sister walk down the aisle and you had a wonderful weekend with her for your beautiful shower. Thinking of you and your family in this difficult time. I hope each passing day gets a bit better.
My heart breaks for you and your family on the loss of such a sweet lady. I will keep your family in my prayers.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss, Julie. The letter is lovely and I’m sure she knows just how much you care.
(hugs)
What a beautiful tribute to Mimi. It sounds like she lived an absolutely amazing life and was very loved, which is all any of us can ever ask for!
Julie, I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandmother. Thanks for sharing this beautiful tribute with all of us. Mimi sounds like such a wonderful woman. Praying for you as your prepare to say good-bye.
Julie, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your letter you wrote is beautiful, it shows what a beautiful life she has lived and how loved she was here on earth! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
I’m so sorry for your loss, Julie. My gram is my best friend, so I can ultimately feel what you are feeling. You’re family is in my prayers.
Such a beautiful tribute to your grandmother. She sounds like a truly wonderful lady. I’m so sorry for your loss.
This is absolutely beautiful. Such a touching tribute for your grandmother and your family. I’m so very sorry for your loss and wishing you lots of comfort during this trying time.
Julie-
I am so sorry for your loss. Your grandmother seemed like a beautiful woman, inside and out. This letter is beautifully written, and brought tears to my eyes! I’m sure she’s smiling reading it now.