Today was one of those days that I just didn’t feel like high-intensity exercise. I wanted to sweat and do something good for my body, but a workout at the gym sounded less than appealing.
After I typed up my morning blog post, I changed and headed out to a local yoga studio to take a hot power yoga class. Stretching and flowing seemed like the perfect way to kick off the week and I’m so glad I went.
Today’s class was one of the more challenging yoga classes I’ve experienced, but not because we did anything out of the box. My shoulders felt weaker than usual and my quads started shaking during the first warrior pose we did. I don’t think the class was more difficult than usual, but my body wasn’t responding to the class the way it usually does and I struggled through the 60 minute class. But I left dripping in sweat and feeling happy!
During the class, I thought about the message Ryan and I took away from yesterday’s church service. Our pastor spoke about happiness and how our happiness doesn’t come from our happenings. He reiterated this point time and time again throughout the service. “Don’t allow your happenings to determine your happiness.” (If you would like to watch the service, click this link. The message begins at 12:15 in the video Brave – Part 8.)
Of course what happens in our life can impact the way we feel, but challenging and unfortunate events will happen every single day and they don’t have to turn us into someone mean and bitter. We can still be kind, friendly and happy even if things in our life are challenging us. We can still uplift others and exercise compassion. Happiness comes from within us. It’s something we can choose to be and it’s up to us to feel happy.
He encouraged us not to play the “If only… then…” game when it comes to feeling happy. “If only I got that promotion, then I’d be happy.” “If only my spouse did x, y and z… then I’d be happy.” “If only I made more money, then I’d be happy.” “If only my kids wouldn’t x, y and z… then I’d be happy.” I think that’s a game we’ve all played a time or two!
By playing the “If only… then…” game, we’re postponing our happiness and waiting for something to happen to make us feel happy that may actually never happen. Why not feel happy today and let that feeling come from within? Then it’s in our control. (This reminds me a lot of the Changing “Yes But” to “Yes And” post I previously shared.)
Our pastor joked that when your boss or spouse says something that irks you, it’s okay to feel annoyed and think to yourself, “This does not bless me, but I am blessed,” or, “This does not make me happy, but I am happy.” That statement made everyone laugh and Ryan and I pulled it out several times yesterday when little things came up that bothered us or didn’t go our way. I think it’s a great statement to fall-back on – sort of like an affirmation I can use to remind myself that even though upsetting things occur in my life, I am happy and I am blessed.
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Questions of the Afternoon
- Do you consider yourself a happy person? Is your happiness something you have to put effort into maintaining?
- What are some of the ways you lift yourself up when you’re feeling unhappy?
I feel like I am a happy person by nature, but I have to put effort into letting go of negative events that occur in my life. I have a hard time brushing things off and not dwelling on challenging events. When I’m feeling unhappy, my go-to unhappiness killers are Ryan and Sadie. Ryan has a way of talking to me that makes me feel instantly at ease and Sadie’s cuddles and puppy kisses never fail to make me smile.
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I don’t think you understand how much I needed to hear this today and at this very moment. Thank you for the reminder. Cool how God works that way; bet you didn’t expect your blog post to be exactly what a girl three states away needed to hear! 🙂
I’m so happy to hear this, Jessica. <3
I love this post, that’s such a good mindset to have! Thanks for reminding me 🙂
PS I love your blog! You make all your posts really worth reading.
Great post! Sometimes you just need a reminder to not sweat the small stuff!
Agreed!
Love this! I do consider myself a happy person but with some not so fun things going on in my life right now I really have to make a point to focus on the positive and try to not let the negative things bring me down! It has been a wild ride for me these past couple months – I am ready for a break though 🙂
I love this post. I am a very happy person… everyone always asks why I’m never in a bad mood. It’s true that I rarely find myself in horrible moods, which is great and all… but when I do find myself in a bad mood or unhappy for some reason, I feel like I don’t know what to do! I’ve found that doing something fun by myself, like going for a long walk/window shopping, some good old retail therapy, or sitting at a coffee shop and people watching for a while helps me clear my head and remember that I may not be happy in that moment, but I will soon be happy again. 🙂
I’m the same way Julie. what a great post! We make our own happiness with what we have!
Seeing my little niece always picks me up without fail. I’m happy the majority of the time – having left my full time software job over a year ago I now know what true happiness is! If I need to reset I take a long hot bath…and whip out The Happiness Project!
Very good reminder. I’m guilty of the “when x happens I’ll be happy” especially at the moment as I’m living in a flat with very noisy neighbors and it’s taking its toll. I can’t move until june 2014 and recently i’ve been thinking a lot about how I’m going to be happy once that happens. But June is almost a year away – too long to put happiness and life on pause for!
I would like to consider myself happy most of the time but as of late I have been playing that I will be happy when card a little too often. I really try not to be in the mindset and look at the bigger picture but some days its hard to think more positive, my fiance and dog definitely help me. Taking my dog on walks after work is probably one of the best parts of my day, its the time I can reflect on those negative thoughts and challenge myself and figure out what I am going to do about it.
Great post. Reminded me of this article I read today, which I think you will really like. It is a must-read. http://beyoumediagroup.com/2013/09/07/how-to-get-flat-abs-have-amazing-sex-and-rule-the-world-in-8-easy-steps/
I love this Julie! Thank you so much for sharing! I’m going to listen to your pastor’s sermon! I love listening to uplifting things while I’m busy at work. 🙂
“I feel like I am a happy person by nature, but I have to put effort into letting go of negative events that occur in my life. I have a hard time brushing things off and not dwelling on challenging events.” <— I am exactly the same way!
I try to find happiness in the little things — things like smiling & saying hi to every person we come across while walking the dog (it's normal in Canada haha), being extra kind and friendly to a waiter or cashier, making sure I say thank you to every person that holds/opens a door for me, or going out of my way to open/hold a door for someone else. These are the things that put a smile on my face — even when I'm not having a great day.
Kindness goes a long way!
Sounds like your bike ride on Saturday was still taking its tole! I recently got into yoga and I love it. I always thought it wasn’t a real workout. Wrong lol
Very convicting message topic. Philippians 4:4
I absolutely love this post and your pastor seems amazing! I often feel like once we get in a “slump” we find something wrong with everything. I’ve had a headache every single day since Sept of 2006, for a long time I played the pity party role but it didn’t help me any. I realized then that your attitude is a choice. Now I’m thankful that it isn’t something worse – cancer, infertility, loss of limb, etc. They say if everyone threw their problems into a pile, you would quickly grab yours back.
Sometimes I still see things ‘black vs white’ with no gray area so my New Years Resolution was to write down something positive every single day. It’s been a rough year – lost two family members, but I still found the positive. I had so much support from my friends, the ones I lost didn’t suffer, etc. Trying to change your attitude isn’t always easy, but it’s definitely worth it.
BTW – I go to my BF & dog for support, they’re the best forms of love 🙂 I hope your challenging days are over…there’s so much love for you on PBF 🙂
Thanks, Julie! I truly enjoy when you blend your faith into your “healthy living blog”. Great message, can’t wait to watch the video!
Wow, great post. I’m generally happy, but “happy” isn’t something that just happens. I’m way too prone to ruminating about the past or stressing out about where things are going. Staying in the moment (taking care of myself & loved ones, maintaining friendships/relationships, etc) is so important.
I have been feeling a bit cranky lately but overall I think I am a happy person. I do hang onto things but eventually it will be let go and I will go back to my sunny world.
A great post. I think happiness is a journey but I do consider myself a happy person. Of course there are bumps in the road but that’s all a part of it right?
Definitely a good reminder! I consider myself to be a really happy person generally, but everyone gets stuck in that “if only” track on occasion. It’s always good to have that reminder to choose a better mindset!
It’s amazing what an impact our canine family members have on our moods, isn’t it?
They bring such joy to our lives!
I am a happy person. I learned how to compatrmentalize issues at a young age. Just because one thing in my life isn’t going my way it dosn’t mean my whole life sucks, just that one thing does. What’s that saying ” A bad day doesn’t mean a bad life?” I can be pissed at my husband but still be in a good mood!
I LOVE that!
My gosh Julie I really needed to read this today!!its been on of those weeks and I am exactly like you as in I struggle letting go of things but generally a happy person..my happiness chargers are my BF,chatting to my mum & dad,my dads silly humour,escapism in tv or reading & working out or Starbucks!! Thanks for the great blog that lifts me daily too!!
I am the exact same way. I have to work on dealing with my emotions when they happen and not let ting them get greater or worse that they are at the time. I also have realized as time goes on that I need more time alone that I have thought before- it’s an essential for me to keep my cool and look at things in perspective.
Thanks so much! Needed to read this today 🙂
That’s such a great message to share! I am naturally a pretty happy person, but I went through a rough time in my life and I really let it get to me. I couldn’t stop focusing on the past. It took a lot, but I realized that happiness was within me. Some bad stuff happened but I didn’t need to let it define me. Now, I remind myself everyday that life is a gift and that it doesn’t owe me anything. I remind myself to live in the now and be thankful for the little things. It might sound cheesy, but I appreciate everything from washing the dishes to vacation time. It is the here and now that truly matters, it’s the little things. If we focus too much on the past or the future we forget to appreciate today!
Love this! I consider myself a pretty happy person but sometimes a reminder is needed to keep that mindset 🙂
Such a great post. Reminders like this are one of the reasons I love the blog world so much! I recently had a life changing epiphany about this topic and haven’t looked back since. Attitude determines everything, don’t compare you self to anyone but yourself, and happiness is a choice.
Thank you :). I used to be a VERY happy person, and while I’m still a happy person by most people’s standards, I’ve felt it slipping in the past 5 or so years. A lot of it is mental – time to get back on the happy wagon!!
This post came at such a great time for me. Even just the title made me breathe a little easier today. Thanks for the excellent reminder Julie 🙂
I’m so glad to hear this, Court. 🙂
The message about choosing to be happy now reminds me of a great book I read called The Power of Now. It talks all about living in the now instead of putting your happiness as some event in the future. It reminds me of that saying as well the grass is always greener because a lot of people place emphasis on if something changes then everything is going to be better which is just not true. Happiness always comes from within, great post thanks as always for sharing 🙂
I am going to look for that book! Thanks for sharing!
You’re awesome, Julie. I think I find it most difficult to get over negative things that have happened in my life that were in MY control! I just have to remind myself that you can’t change the past, just learn from your mistakes. Great post!
Great post! I love that you talk about this these things!
I think I am 100% ”If only I had this and that, I would be happy”. And I know that it isn’t good, I just need to accept what I have so far and just be happy with that.
Have a great day!
Smiles,
Maia/http://www.fitskinnyandhealthy.wordpress.com
I definitely let my happenings determine my happiness. I need to work on this!
I’m definitely learning to embrace happiness, even when the happenings aren’t in my favor. I’ve gotten so much better about it over the past year, but I still have to remind myself of it every day. Great post!
Such a great reminder, Julie. I remember hearing from a pastor (or maybe it was in a Christian book?) before that happiness can go up and down. You can have a sad day or a frustrated day or whatever. But your faith in the Lord should give you an internal joy, regardless of your circumstances. It’s kind of the same concept, just with slightly different wording haha. But both great reminders! 🙂
It took me a really really long time but I can finally say I’m a very happy person. We have to change our thought process.
Great message. Our pastor had a similar sermon on how it’s okay to take joy from the good things that happen or the people in our life, but that our ultimate joy should be in God so that when bad things happen we still have joy or happiness. I’ll have to listen to your pastor’s sermon. 🙂
I have a really difficult time letting go of negative things. I’m notorious for harboring angry/irritated emotions, but actually I am inherently a happy person. 9 out of 10 times I am in a good mood and content.
I actually wrote a whole post about the whole “If only… then…” concept. I heard it discussed on Jillian Micheal’s podcast and was totally inspired. It’s so true though – we always put off things we want because we’re waiting to be better, or waiting for the situation to be better, but you really just have to go for it.
I love this message! It reminds me a lot of certain points from The Happiness Project. “Act the way you want to feel” — sort of like choosing happiness in order to be happy, right? Thanks for sharing!
I recently did a Bible study with my husband a group of our friends called “The DNA of Joy.” It takes a somewhat different perspective on “happiness” than what your pastor talked about. We spent the weeks during the Bible study talking about how happiness is a feeling we have when good things happen, but joy is a constant state of mind, something that even the devil can’t take away from us when we have God on our side. We can be joyful without necessarily being happy. God can fill us with joy even through difficult and challenging times.
I love your little statement: “This does not make me happy, but I am happy.” Definitely a good way to stay positive!
This is a lesson I really learned, believe it or not from my company’s leadership.
It’s a lesson I hold near and dear to my heart and try to remember every single day.
I think it’s one of the most powerful state of mind there is!
That is a Pastor Tim-ism! He’s the best!
Yes! He is amazing!
Great post JB! I love when you post about “not feelin” the gym. I get into zones wher eI can’t imagine NOT going to the gym and then sometimes if I get busy and have to skip a few days or a week, I have the hardest time getting back into it! So knowing you feel that way too is very motivating – I’m going to head out for a run now, compliments or your motivation! Like you said – you never know when you’re motivating someone! xo
My journey this past year has shown me that I CAN be happy, even in the face of losing my job and a crumbling marriage. I made the choice to be happy in spite of all of those things instead of using them as an excuse to be miserable and a shell of a person.
Love this post! So so true – we need to remember that we have joy DESPITE our circumstances. External things and people are outside our control – the only thing you can control is how you react.
You’re a wise lady Miss Julie!
Thank you so much for this excellent post! My husband and I bought a small journal last week and we are each recording something we did that day that was positive or made us happier. It’s been a tough year so far but we just had this type of discussion too and vowed to be happier no matter what! Wonderful timing and so true!
What a wonderful idea!!
I definitely consider myself a happy person. When you said happiness comes from within you I couldn’t agree more. I feel JOYFUL because I value my relationship with Christ at the top of my priority list and that gives me peace, perspective and a positive outlook on life! I’ve spent a lot of time reading about the fruits of the spirit and joyfulness is one!
I love this post Julie!
I consider myself a pretty happy person. I rarely let negative things get to me, and when they do I do my best to put on a smile. I will be thinking “this does not make me happy, but I am happy” all the time now!
Thanks for sharing that link, and for sharing your faith a bit. And especially to be thinking of these things during a yoga class! Yoga classes have often lead me to turn away from their spiritual aspect I feel pushed on me when I take a class. But I love that your thoughts were focused around YOUR spiritual belief.
What a great message to read right now! I am not a naturally happy/optimistic person. I try to work at it every day just by smiling or thinking of things I’m thankful for. It definitely takes effort for me, and I do better on some days versus others. 🙂