Today was one of those days that I just didn’t feel like high-intensity exercise. I wanted to sweat and do something good for my body, but a workout at the gym sounded less than appealing.
After I typed up my morning blog post, I changed and headed out to a local yoga studio to take a hot power yoga class. Stretching and flowing seemed like the perfect way to kick off the week and I’m so glad I went.
Today’s class was one of the more challenging yoga classes I’ve experienced, but not because we did anything out of the box. My shoulders felt weaker than usual and my quads started shaking during the first warrior pose we did. I don’t think the class was more difficult than usual, but my body wasn’t responding to the class the way it usually does and I struggled through the 60 minute class. But I left dripping in sweat and feeling happy!
During the class, I thought about the message Ryan and I took away from yesterday’s church service. Our pastor spoke about happiness and how our happiness doesn’t come from our happenings. He reiterated this point time and time again throughout the service. “Don’t allow your happenings to determine your happiness.” (If you would like to watch the service, click this link. The message begins at 12:15 in the video Brave – Part 8.)
Of course what happens in our life can impact the way we feel, but challenging and unfortunate events will happen every single day and they don’t have to turn us into someone mean and bitter. We can still be kind, friendly and happy even if things in our life are challenging us. We can still uplift others and exercise compassion. Happiness comes from within us. It’s something we can choose to be and it’s up to us to feel happy.
He encouraged us not to play the “If only… then…” game when it comes to feeling happy. “If only I got that promotion, then I’d be happy.” “If only my spouse did x, y and z… then I’d be happy.” “If only I made more money, then I’d be happy.” “If only my kids wouldn’t x, y and z… then I’d be happy.” I think that’s a game we’ve all played a time or two!
By playing the “If only… then…” game, we’re postponing our happiness and waiting for something to happen to make us feel happy that may actually never happen. Why not feel happy today and let that feeling come from within? Then it’s in our control. (This reminds me a lot of the Changing “Yes But” to “Yes And” post I previously shared.)
Our pastor joked that when your boss or spouse says something that irks you, it’s okay to feel annoyed and think to yourself, “This does not bless me, but I am blessed,” or, “This does not make me happy, but I am happy.” That statement made everyone laugh and Ryan and I pulled it out several times yesterday when little things came up that bothered us or didn’t go our way. I think it’s a great statement to fall-back on – sort of like an affirmation I can use to remind myself that even though upsetting things occur in my life, I am happy and I am blessed.
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Questions of the Afternoon
- Do you consider yourself a happy person? Is your happiness something you have to put effort into maintaining?
- What are some of the ways you lift yourself up when you’re feeling unhappy?
I feel like I am a happy person by nature, but I have to put effort into letting go of negative events that occur in my life. I have a hard time brushing things off and not dwelling on challenging events. When I’m feeling unhappy, my go-to unhappiness killers are Ryan and Sadie. Ryan has a way of talking to me that makes me feel instantly at ease and Sadie’s cuddles and puppy kisses never fail to make me smile.
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This post is very timely. I suffer from “the grass is greener” syndrome way too often. I try to be cognizant of it and remind myself of all the wonderful things in my life. Overall, though, I’m a happy person – I have a lot to be happy about! A good workout sometimes lifts my mood, as does doing something creative. And like you, my husband and my furry children always help 🙂
Honestly some of the most negative events in my life have led me to a place of contentedness and happiness. I went through a bad breakup in my second year at University, and I also got mugged in the same school year. These events caused me to really wake up and realize I wasn’t living in the moment. I had stayed in that relationship for far too long, and realized that I wasn’t truly happy with him. I stayed for so long out of habit and because I’m more comfortable in a relationship. The mugging made me realize that I wasn’t truly happy in the area/place I was living in, so I found a better apartment in a better neighbourhood and moved in with friends. I’m actually really glad both of those events took place as weird as it sounds, because I wouldn’t be in the same place in my life if they hadn’t.
p.s. Making my foray into the blogging world, wish me luck!
Love this post! Being happy is something that is natural hard to do. That’s why I have my happy go-to things: pedicures, having a good glass of wine with girlfriends, watching puppy videos 🙂 and reading cute blogs 🙂
i had a professor once who spoke about the “yes but” to “yes and…” and it was probably the most inspirational and worthwhile piece of knowledge I had learned in a classroom
It was a life changing conversation for me. Seriously.
Yay! I love this so much. I’ve really have been trying to focus on positivity, positivity, positivity. 🙂
I just wanted to say THANK YOU so much for this post. It was really what I needed to see/read today and I didn’t even realize. As an anorexia survivor, I’m commonly plagued by “If only…then…” thoughts, especially since restarting school 2 weeks ago and seeing probably 3x the people I did over the summer. It’s so easy to compare and live life/determine happiness conditionally, but really I’m just shortchanging myself. This was a very powerful and timely read and I thank you for that 🙂
I love that saying! Isn’t it awesome how pastors can deliver such great messages? Yesterday my pastor and his wife told us their daughters birth story: her water broke at 17 weeks, was recommended to abort the pregnancy, her lungs weren’t supposed to develop, and she was predicted to be a stillborn. She was delivered at 33 weeks with a set of lungs! Such a great story <3
I try to be a happy person as much as possible, but sometimes my mind runs away with those negative thoughts. When those negative thoughts pop into my mind, I remind myself of all the good in my life and how truly blessed I am. These reminders always ground me and turns my negative thoughts into positive ones.
I love this message. It’s always good to have that reiterated in life because sometimes that’s easier said than done. I hate thinking “if only” things and I really try to stop myself when I start that thinking. I, too, have to remember to not dwell on negative things in life and let them go. When I’m feeling unhappy, I look at my baby, talk to my husband, pet my dog or call my mom.
Love this message. Thank you for sharing!! I’m currently reading a book called “The Happiness Project”. It’s a great book and makes you want to start your own happiness adventure!!
GREAT post! I needed this today! I have had a ROUGH last couple of weeks, but I have forgotten to focus on what makes ME happy! I know you probably don’t get time to read ALL your comments (you get a ton and that is sooo awesome). But I hope you get to see mine, cause I just wanted to thank you! I love following your blog!! I look forward to reading it every night when I get home. I have completely fallen off my blog and I miss it so much and hope to start it up as soon as possible. Thank you again for posting this! I loved reading it!!!
Love this… Thanks for the message today. It’s inspiring!
I am in love with this post. So inspiring and true!
Julie,
This post couldn’t have come at a better time! I think we all need reminded every now and again to think Positive and wake up every morning believing that something great will happen that day! Thank you for this post, it is exactly what I needed 🙂
I am definitely a happy person and I don’t really have a hard time perking myself up. This last year, after going through a really bad breakup, I decided to just let go of what I can’t control and to always choose happiness. Now, it’s just natural to be happy.
As soon as I started reading your post I got déjà vi. That is EXACTLY how I felt yesterday (no doubt thanks to mass champagne the night before at a wedding) but I did the exact same thing and went to a vinyasa flow class in SF. It was amazing!
Thank you, Julie, for such an insightful & refreshing post! We all need to be reminded of this, now and again, so I appreciate you taking the time to share your pastor’s wise words. My pup also has an incredible way of making me smile, even in the darkest and loneliest of times. Definitely woman’s best friend 😉
Love this post. Thank you for the reminder!
I would deff. consider myself a happy person! Like you, I find it much more difficult to let go of something effecting me negatively and I find it hard to just “brush it off” and get over it quickly. Overall though, having a positive outlook just comes naturally for me and I’m super thankful for that quality!
Thanks for your post today. I needed a reminder to think positive and not to dwell on the negative.
EXACTLY what I needed to hear today! Thanks!
So glad to hear it, Jennifer! <3
I love reading the book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s all small stuff when I’m stressed. It’s so inspirational and has a similar message to what you spoke about above.
Happiness is obviously a big thing for me (check out the name of my blog)! My email, my twitter, my instagram, etc all have the word happy in them. I can ALWAYS think of a reason to be happy, even in the midst of insanity. And with two teenagers, a husband that works a ton and a new dog, there is a lot of insanity surrounding me. I just have always looked on the bright side (maybe after a few moments) and found that no matter what is going on, there is always something good in my life. That makes me happy!
This is such a great reminder. I’m a high school teacher and can easily get bogged down by what I do and who I deal with every day. Thank you for reminding me that I am still happy 🙂
Taking a walk by the beach always puts a smile on my face and reminds me how lucky I am – I’m healthy, have amazing friends and family and live a great lifestyle. You’re so right, thinking ‘I’ll be happy when…’ is wasting the chance to be happy now.
i agree happiness does not come from happenings or thing or others. it can only come from within, but i also believe it is difficult to obtain and you can’t always just choose it. it sounds simple and happiness seems like an easy state, but for many of us it is a concept that is slightly out of reach.
Well said. I believe in the concept of happiness not coming from happenings, but I agree with Kate: sometimes this frame of mind is far from simple and not always attainable. I think it’s the constant reaching toward that state that matters.
What a great philosophy! I am a happy person by nature, but I DO let things determine my mood. It’s hard not to. I will have to remember that events are not determining my overall happiness, I am determining my overall happiness. Thanks for sharing!
Thank-you so much for this post. I am a single “working” mom with two kids. I have the word “working” in quote marks because to consider it work you should get paid..I often don’t, but I keep going in the hope that the business will go better next month. My husband gives me no maintenance for the children and I often have to make do with less than 500 dollars a month. However, I remind myself each morning that I have the precise RESPONSIBILITY towards God and my fellow men, and that is to SHINE BRIGHT, each and every day, no matter what 🙂
read this yesterday but had to come back and comment.
YES YES YES
this happiness realization changed my life, too.
The timing of this post was perfect! Thank you so much for such an inspirational message!
What a great message! While I consider myself a happy person, I like everyone else have moments where I’m less happy and I have to work at being happy. When I find myself in a rut, I find that doing things I love like running or cooking help me to be happier.
I watched the whole message as I got ready for work this morning. Thank you for posting it. It’s exactly what I needed to hear this morning.
I’m so glad you enjoyed it, Shannon.
I am like you…. Usually a very happy person. Bad things get me down sometimes. I actually just posted on my blog about a very unfortunate thing that happened to me last week.
I just try to always remember that everything happens for a reason.
i have been reading a series of books on happiness lately that you might like … have you ever read anything by deepak chopra? i recently read “the shadow effect” and you might love it …
Thank you for writing this post! My father commutes to a different state for work and can only come home on the weekend. Needless to say, it’s easy to become sad or angry that he’s not with my family more often. However, I’ve learned to truly appreciate the time I do spend with him when he is home.
Saw this article floating around on FB, and thought it was particularly relevant to your post!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/wait-but-why/generation-y-unhappy_b_3930620.html
This post really blessed me! Thank you! 🙂 My hubby and I are going through kind of a challenging time right now- this encouragement served as a reminder that, while life is hard kinda crappy sometimes right now, it’s really NOT because I’m blessed. 🙂
I’m generally a happy, positive person. When I’m not thought I make a conscious decision to be happy, because there is nothing worst than being around a grumpy person all the time. Except when I’m really hungry, then I’m not happy…at all haha.
This post definitely came at a great time, as I can totally relate! I am a happy, optimistic person by nature, but being a recent graduate is one of the scariest, most daunting things I’ve ever experienced. I’m working my butt off at an unpaid internship and waitressing at night to make $$ and sometimes it runs me down to the point that my “happenings” determine my overall “happiness” about my life. But when I take a few seconds to reconsider, the more permanent things in my life, aka the people in it, show me that I have a VERY blessed life. I appreciate this post because it makes me remember to keep my “happenings” in perspective. Thanks!
Thank you so much for sharing this powerful message. Lately I seem to let a lot of small things get to me and ruin my joy. I continue to pray that the Lord will allow me to see the blessings in my life and to remember that I’m too blessed to be stressed.
I love this–I think everyone has done the “If only…then…” game and, while it’s nice to think “What if?” it’s better to enjoy what you DO have because chances are, your life isn’t so bad. Very nice post.
Thanks for this blog post today Julie! It was just what I needed — After going through the worst week of my life last week, I truly believe you are right, happiness does come from within.
Overall, I feel like I’m a happy person. Do I have blue periods, or times when things just seem to be going so wrong I want to just crawl in bed? Sure, who doesn’t? What it comes down to it for me is that those periods are temporary, so that gets me out of a funk.
When it comes to what makes me happy? Nothing compares to my little dog being super exaited to see me when I get home, or his enthusiasm for EVERYTHING! It’s hard not to be in a good mood when Ziggy is around.
This is such a great post! I think choosing happiness instead of simply letting life happen to you is one of the best decisions we can make for ourselves. I consider myself a naturally happy person, but there was a really rough time in my life where happiness didn’t come easily anymore and I had to work hard to make changes in my life that would create happiness. The best way I lift my mood is by paying close attention to my thought patterns and retraining the way I think to be more positive. It has helped so much!
This is always a great reminder that no matter what events occur when, we are still responsible for what meaning they take in our lives. I have learned this past year especially to not let negativity have a foothold in my life, and many wonderful changes have come from doing this! Sure, everything isn’t always perfect, but before I knew it, I was looking around and the things that were imperfect before had become some of my very favorite things just by changing my frame of reference.
Thanks for sharing this. I recently went through a break-up, and while it made me sad and angry, I still had happiness in my life by being active and surrounding myself with positive people. Happiness comes from within 🙂
Julie, I think you wrote this just for me. My boss angered me so much yesterday because he lied to me. And I kept thinking this is going to ruin my vacation next week. After reading this I am determined he will not. You don’t know how far your positive messages reach. A BIG thank you!
I hope you have the most amazing time on your vacation, Kimberly! 🙂
Julie,
Thank you for sharing this post. I’ve been thinking a lot about “choosing happiness” lately. This TED talk shares an amazing perspective on this: http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html