I want to write things like, āWe went to Patterson Farm on Saturday and pet adorable animals and saw donkeys, chickens, goats and pigs and it was great and amazing and Chase had the best time!ā And you know what? All of that would be true! But then when I read it, the words read so different from how I feel inside and remaining silent somehow feels easier.
I really was feeling better on Friday, the best I felt since our second miscarriage, probably. But then, on the way home from picking up a RedBox movie to watch during a lazy Friday night on the couch, I noticed I had a voicemail from a local number I didnāt recognize and knew immediately it had to be my doctor. Our test results from my D&C were due back last Thursday and I had a feeling she was calling with an update.
Before my D&C, I checked a box that said our results could be released over the phone but completely forgot about that and, in the interim, I decided I really, really did not want to know the sex of the baby we lost. This was something I figured Iād be able to mention to the doctor before our test results were shared. Ryan and I actually planned to be surprised by the sex of this baby on the day of the birth and I felt that knowing the sex now would just be too hard.
Knowing our baby was a boy would make me picture a mini-Chase and, as the mother of a little boy I love with all of my heart, I felt like it would be too painful to hear we lost a boy. Knowing our baby was a girl would confirm what I felt in my heart was trueā¦ that the second baby we lost was a girl and that also felt too painful. So I didnāt want to know.
I listened to the results on my voicemail from our doctor as she shared that we lost our baby due to a chromosomal abnormality.
She went on to explain that our baby had only one X chromosome rather than the two X chromosomes normally present in a female. Our baby was a girl. Our baby had Turner Syndrome, a condition in which only 1 percent of pregnancies result in live births.
A girl.
Our baby was a girl.
I knew it.
I started crying for the baby girl I would never get to hold. I started crying because I wouldāve loved that baby so, so deeply with or without Turner Syndrome. No matter what. I started crying because I realized I had been slowly hardening my heart and trying not to focus on the baby we lost and focus more onĀ why we lost a baby and now I couldnāt do anything other than picture our girl and long to kiss her cheeks, cuddle her and get to know her.
Much of this weekend was spent in the āshould besā and the āwhat ifsā and the āI wishā moments of grief, loss and pain. The completely unproductive thoughts that hurt and cause tears but the thoughts that seem necessary and somehow inevitable.
So rather than share a recap of our weekend, Iām sharing whatās on my heart again today.
Friday night was difficult because I truthfully did not think the test results would indicate a chromosomal abnormality, despite the statistical averages related to miscarriage. I wasnāt hoping for one thing or another from our test results ā we just wanted information ā but learning more about our baby somehow made me feel closer to her and unleashed feelings I realized I was trying to prevent myself from feeling… Feelings directly related to loving, losing and longing for another baby.
I have a list of questions for our doctor when we meet in person (many of them thanks to you and your comments, recommendations and experiences) since we donāt know what caused the loss of our first baby and Iām still a ball of anxiety.
But I wanted to let you know what we know at this moment because youāve opened up to me and shared your stories and while this is personal and private, I am not nor have I ever been ashamed of our losses. I am sad and hurting but I am not ashamed and the emails and comments Iāve received from you guys keeps me open in this space when sometimes I want to close off and remain silent.
Writing is good for me and sharing feels right when I hear back from those of you who have been here or somewhere similar before. I know no one grieves or hurts the same way and there is no right way to grieve or express pain and sadness but Iām trying my best to find words that capture my feelings even though sometimes I feel like no words ever really could.
Once again I feel pulled to say thank you for reading. Thank you for supporting me even when I feel like Iāve exhausted all of the kindness and love I could possibly expect from you guys. Thank you for allowing me to share this deeply personal loss and experience on the blog. And thank you for continuing to encourage me to do so. You guys are the very best.
***
I would like to continue to make this blog a place where women can share and support each other. If youāve experienced loss or pain and found something that helped you through a hard time ā a book, a quote, a friend or family member who did something simple that really meant a lot to you ā please feel free to comment below to hopefully help others who may be hurting right now or give those who may know someone who is hurting an idea for something they might be able to do to show them love and support during a hard time. Thank you for your kindness toward me and each other in this space.
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Julie, know that you and yours are in my prayers. I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling, but I appreciate your vulnerability so greatly. God bless.
Thank you, Alison <3
Julie
I came across your blog today and I am sorry to hear of your loss and grief. Mother Nature is fickle and wise. For every loss there is a reason and a purpose. I know you never want to hear that it wasn’t meant to be, but I truly believe our bodies know what is best for us. I wish you good fortune and blessings for your family and future. Know that those around you share in your pain and wish they could help. Take care.
I can’t imagine the different emotions you are now dealing with after getting the results from your doctor. Maybe you can take comfort in that your baby girl is in heaven with Mimi and her sibling looking down and watching over you, Ryan and Chase every day <3
I think about this a lot. She has some incredible people in Heaven with her who love her very much. One of my girlfriends told me to picture her up in Heaven looking down on me, saying “See that one? That’s my Mommy!” This made me cry but also made me want to make her proud and be the best possible mother and person I can be for my babies in Heaven and my baby on earth.
Ok what your girlfriend said just made me cry! I miscarried last month and I had a feeling our baby was a girl too <3 sending love.
Oh my gosh, tears are running down my face after reading this and your friends’ words. I am grieving with you, Julie. I’m so sorry <3
I am so sorry friend. And yes, your writing has made you a friend in my book. Thank you for sharing and letting us all grieve with you. I’ll continue to lift you all up in prayer for comfort and peace.
While I know it’s hard to know the reason for your baby’s loss, there is also comfort in it. With my three losses, the doctors told me it was a chromosome issue but never tested. So I’ve always wondered. Especially since I have an illness that I believe contributed to the losses (but didn’t know I had it then). I also believe I needed progesterone but the doc refused to test for it. So I’ll never know. So take comfort in that knowledge you gained. I hope with all my heart that you get your rainbow baby! ((Hugs))
I am glad we have information because I think not having information last time really increased my anxiety in my most recent pregnancy. I couldn’t stop wondering and worrying. Because we don’t know what caused the loss of our first baby, I am still anxious and may request additional blood work but want to talk things through with my doctor as well. So many readers brought up progesterone to me and that’s absolutely on my list of questions.
I am so sorry for the loss of your three babies. It’s so hard and I really appreciate you sharing this with me. <3
Before our third loss, I was going to an acupuncturist that specializes in fertility. Based on some symptoms of my cycle she knew I needed progesterone in the second half of my cycle. She gave me cream that I used and it lengthened my cycle from 8-10 days post ovulation to a full 14 and I got pregnant right away. But the accupuncurist told me the progesterone cream wouldn’t be enough to sustain the pregnancy if I had a deficiency. She recommended my doctor test he progesterone level. The doc refused to even test. I was so mad because what harm is there in testing the level. I never went back to these doctors because they didn’t listen to me and respect me feelings. It sounds like your doctor is good at listening and taking through your concerns. But if you ever don’t feel like your doc is, then definitely switch. I wish I had sooner!
This post has helped me with the pain of losing someone I loved. I found that the words ring so true, and somehow it felt better to have someone so clearly verbalize what loss really feels like. (It’s a weird URL but I promise it’s not spam.)
Thank you for sharing your story and encouraging others to share theirs. <3
https://www.good.is/articles/best-comment-ever
thank you for sharing, karin <3
Hi Julie, I just wanted to let you know my heart is breaking for you. I had 3 iui’s … one resulting in a miscarriage. A chemical pregnancy from an Ivf, and an ectopic naturally. I finally had my rainbow baby girl in September 2015 and shockingly when she was 6 months, found out I was 6 weeks along with another baby girl!! I went through 3.5 awful years and now have my two little loves. When you talk to your doctor, you know you can get pregnant but I wonder what they would think about you doing Ivf and having your embryos tested. When we finally had our baby, she was a tested embryo so we knew her chromosomes were correct and it was a strong embryo. Just a thought so you don’t have to endure this again. Oxoxox (I put my blog here but I suck and haven’t posted in forever lol! #2under2
All the love to you. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
I lost my dad, a close family friend, and had a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks all within 5 months just a couple years ago. The grief was suffocating. Sometime at the end of the year I was weeding some books and came across my Maya Angelou and eventually flipped to “When great trees fall.” It was just what I needed. It was exactly how I felt. I felt understood in a world that kept going while I felt stunted with grief.
I hope you find peace, Julie. I know from experience that grief never goes away. It just changes. But, there will be happier times ahead. It’s just hard to imagine that now. So experience your emotions and grief but don’t let that take away your hope.
I am so sorry for all of the pain you went through — and all at once. Maya Angelou’s words are so beautiful and I just Googled When Great Trees Fall to read it after seeing your comment. The last stanza made me cry. So beautiful and so poignant. Thank you for taking the time to comment and recommend this to me and others.
Ash,
I also found comfort in “When Great Trees Fall.” I was supposed to read it at my little brothers memorial service but I lost my nerve. It’s a beautiful poem and I cry now whenever I read it but it really helps me through my rough days. I’m sorry for your losses and I’m glad to know you found comfort.
I am so sorry Julie and can’t imagine the pain you are going through right now. Praying for your family. Thank you for sharing your heart.
I had a lot of friends and family reach out when I miscarried. I think, what helped and still helps, is that I don’t hide the fact that we lost a baby and I don’t hide the resulting emotions. If it’s a hard day, for whatever reason, I allow it to be a hard day. Sometimes you just can’t “shake it off” or whatever. Sometimes life just sucks and it’s okay that life sucks.
I did buy myself a card (people who haven’t gone through it never know what to say, so I think it’s okay to say it to yourself) from an Etsy store that gives me comfort. Link here.
Julie,
You put into words exactly the feelings I’ve had about our miscarriages. And it’s so hard. Knowing is hard. Not knowing is hard. We found out one loss was due to Down syndrome, but the other was unknown. And we didn’t find out the gender; somedays I wish we had, others I’m glad we didn’t. Your statement about loving the baby anyway is so true. And you do love your babies. It’s hard not to get wrapped up in the fears and the “what ifs”. Faith, and finding it from others when needed, is my biggest help.
When we had our loss, my aunt shared a relative placed a quiver on their wall and filled it with arrows for their pregnancy loss and child who passed away. I found it comforting to hear of this unique example. I know many others have done tattoos. My tattoo is internal- on my heart.
Thanks for sharing your honest, raw emotions. Thanks for sharing your space to support others. You are a blessing!
Oh I’m so sorry. My first pregnancy also ended in a missed miscarriage. A little boy who would’ve been turning three this coming January. I have a necklace with a January birthstone (garnet) that reminds me of him. It’s hard. Time makes it easier but it’s still so hard. My heart hurts for you.
Hi Julie. I lost my first baby at 17 weeks. I never got any answers as to what went wrong but I did find out it was a boy. Finding out the sex of the baby does make you grieve in a whole new way. I did go on to have four more boys. I still think of the little boy I lost but also remind myself that I wouldn’t have the boys I do today if I hadn’t lost my first. My thoughts are with you and your husband. Thank you for sharing your journey with all of us who follow your blog.
Oh Julie, my heart hurts for you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Oh, Julie! My heart breaks for you and Ryan. My eyes are filled with tears as I write this…
I know your babies are up in heaven watching over your family <3
Thank you so much for sharing during this tremendously difficult time. Praying for you everyday.
I am so very sorry for your loss.
My husband and I lost our first baby girl last summer. My water broke suddenly at 26 weeks. I had an emergency c-section and we met our little girl, Kenzie Rose. She was life flighted and I didn’t see her again for 2 days. She lived for 9 wonderful days and we loved on her every moment of those 9 days.
After some testing, doctors told us she had Mosaic Turner Syndrome. The geneticist educated us on this syndrome we’ve never heard of. We then decided to get genetics testing to determine if this was something either of us carry. Fortunately, neither of us do and we were told that what happened to our little girl was just by chance when she was developing.
I got pregnant shortly after my doctor gave us the ‘ok’ to start trying again and we just welcomed our healthy, perfect little girl, Emersyn Rose.
I pray for healing and comfort for you and your family.
I am not good with words but just wanted to say how sorry i am from the bottom of my heart. Praying for you, Ryan and Chase.
Oh big hugs
Hi Julie. I am so sorry for your losses. My heart breaks for you and I know your pain well. I too have had two miscarriages in trying to have our second baby. It has been the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life. I read the book “Option B” recently by Sheryl Sandburg. It is not really about miscarriage, it is about overcoming adversity and embracing the path you’re on when it’s not what you planned. It was truly amazing and helpful to me as I walk this path. You are not alone. Sending thoughts and prayers.
Julie, I can’t imagine the pain you are in right now. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. Sending you all of my love, hope, and prayers <3
Love you Julie! I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Wish I could hug you. <3
Hi Julie. I had a miscarriage in June, but it was very early on. Only a few days after I took a pregnancy test (or three). My doctor said it was also probably chromosomal abnormalities. Now I am worried that I will have more trouble in the future. I don’t have any wise words but I do so appreciate you writing about your experiences. I know you will get through this because you are a strong lady, inside and out!
My heart was really touched by this post and felt really compelled to share with you because of your bravery. I am one of that 1% that survived with Turners. My condition is mosiac and I have had very little symptoms through out my life outside of being tiny, but have also held some shame as I found out at s a teenager and was very uncomfortable feeling ‘abnormal.’ I just want to say that you sharing this takes away some of my own shame and makes me feel not so alone or ‘different.’ Thank you for sharing and I hope it’s ok for me to share as well ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
I am so so sorry for your loss Julie. Long time reader that doesn’t comment often, but I had to share. I had two miscarriages in my first two pregnancies. The second time, we did the same testing as you when I lost the baby at 9 weeks. She had Turner Syndrome as well. I went on to get pregnant three months later with a now 2.5 yr old healthy girl, and I also have a 5 month old son. I liked to hear stories like this, as it gave me hope for future pregnancies in the days after finding out a genetic abnormality had occurred. Losing a baby is so heartbreaking and I know there really aren’t perfect things to say to help someone heal other than I’m sorry, this sucks, and you will get through this with the love and strength of your beautiful family ā¤
Julie, I know I don’t know you personally but my heart has been hurting for you so much through your losses. I just wanted to let you know you and your family are in my prayers ā¤ļø
I barely know what to say but I wanted to comment that my heart breaks for you. I experienced two miscarriages and have one little boy just older than Chase and now expecting my second. With the second pregnancy we had a really big scare when the doctors found something in the ultrasound. Life is so fragile it’s hard to make sense of it all sometimes. Even when I think I have cried all my tears, knowing someone else is hurting from the same loss brings up those feelings again. It is hard to process but prayer and family and friends have helped and of course time. Sending you lots of love.
I feel for you and I know what you are going through. 9 years ago, I went through exactly the same thing. I had a beautiful 2 year old boy at home and found out we lost our little girl at 9 weeks due to Turner Syndrome. 2 months later, I found out I was pregnant again and today I am the proud mama of 2 boys (10 and 8) I still imagine the little girl I lost, but I couldn’t imagine my life without my second son. Things get better as time goes on. Hugs to you!
Julie,
My heart breaks for you and your family. I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re going through. I just wanted to leave a comment to say that I’m thinking of you. I’m so sorry your miscarriage was a girl. I hope somehow there are answers on how to continue on if you want to try again for another baby or decide not to… I hope there are answers out there that can help with that.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve commented before that I shared your blog post about this to my girlfriend who suffered a miscarriage. You are helping others with your story. Sometimes as someone who doesn’t know what it feels like, reading your words help me understand more.
Thinking of you and the family.
So sorry Julie. I have commented before and just wanted to say again, the book “Coming to Term” provided me with comfort when I was going through multiple miscarriages.
Also, not to minimize your loss, but someone once told me that miscarriage, while utterly heartbreaking, is God’s way of being merciful. A dear friend of mine gave birth to a baby with a genetic disorder and she wasn’t supposed to live but hours. She went on to live for weeks, and while the parents were strong enough to endure the pain of knowing her time on earth was limited, it was agonizing. They gave her a beautiful life, albeit a short one. But the pain for that family, I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I hope you find comfort in knowing your baby girl is at peace and won’t have to go through any pain or suffering as a result of the terribly unfortunate genetic circumstances she was dealt.
Hugs to you and your family. I hope each day you find more comfort and slowly the happiness all around begins to outweigh your sadness <3
Julie, I’m so sorry for your loss. I went through a miscarriage prior to having my first child. We saw a heartbeat at 8 wks and found out at 10.5 weeks that we had miscarried. I didn’t clear everything and my doctor didn’t track my HCG down to zero so after two months of bleeding I finally went in for a D&C. What I learned from the process (other than to advocate for yourself with your doctor when you feel something isn’t right) is that miscarriage is much more common than we realize, people just don’t talk about it. I appreciate you sharing your story.
Oh Julie, I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby girl. What a hard year for you.
I had a miscarriage at a time when my mom was quite sick, and I was a mess. At the time, I happened to run across a posting on cupofjo blog about Jizo- the Buddhist protector of women. Buying a little statue of Jizo to put next to my bed was strangely comforting for me. Apparently, I am not the only one- if you google “jizo statue,” there are some articles about it.
Carbs helped, too:)
losing my daughter at 6 months was so so hard, and finding out i was having a boy 5 months after we lost her was just as hard. i wanted a girl so badly, i just wanted to get back what i lost, you know? when i found out it was a boy it was like i started grieving all over again. don’t get me wrong, i hadn’t stopped grieving, it just seemed like day 1 again. and when i was pregnant with emma we had planned on keeping her sex a secret so we didn’t find out it was a girl until she passed.
now that my son is here i honestly can’t imagine NOT having a boy. i felt some guilt about being upset over his sex but it’s totally and completely normal to have gender disappointment. he is such a joy and a love and i know i was meant to be his mom.
You are so strong, and you are an inspiration in how gracefully you are handling this dark spot in your story. The light will come back to your life in time and we will all be with you then too. Hugs and love to you <3
I can’t imagine the heartbreak your family is going through. I have an 8 month old and I know that unconditional love you feel for them. All I can say is that I believe life begins at conception and the Lord knows your children from the moment they are in your belly and He loves them whether they take their first breathe on this earth or in heaven. I do believe you will know your 2nd baby and this baby girl one day in heaven.
Jeremiah 1:5 Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you
Hi! I’m not going to go into our whole journey, but don’t give up hope!! You have one beautiful and healthy baby boy!! My oldest(now 8 years old) was my 6th pregnancy. My youngest (5 years old) was my 9th. My 8th pregnancy , I gave birth to our daughter, Lauren at 21 weeks. She was obviously born too early to survive or live a healthy life. Shit it HARD! But had i(we) not gone through what we did, we wouldn’t have Luke and Sam. Please feel free to reach out. You’re not alone!!!
Keeping you and your family in my thoughts, Julie! It’s so brave and wonderful of you to share your journey with others who may feel shame or embarrassment around their miscarriages. I haven’t experienced one myself, but reading your thoughts and feelings will help me be a better friend to anyone I know in the future who goes through this terrible experience, and reading others’ stories has made me see how much hope there is when people are trying to grow their families.
xoxo
Philippians 4:6-7
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Praying for you all Julie xoxo
You’re a beautiful soul Julie. I’m overwhelmed and inspired by your honesty. Keep being your true self because you’re incredible. xoxo Brooke
Julie-I’ve been a long time reader of your blog, and while I can’t relate specifically to the loss and grief you are currently experiencing with regards to your miscarriages, I can relate to the comment you made about perhaps trying to push those feelings of loss and grief aside. I’ve been going through my own grieving process for a different type of loss, and often find myself trying to prevent myself from feeling and experiencing what is really in my heart.
Thank you for sharing as eloquently as you did. You and your family are in my thoughts.
Julie – I cannot imagine what you guys are going through. Please know you are in the hearts and minds of many people. Take care.
Oh Julie, I am so sorry and my heart breaks for you. I was in tears reading this. Your readers care about you and I will keep you in my prayers.
Oh Julie, my heart breaks for you, I wish I knew the right words to say. I wish I could hug you from afar. I hope it’s a comfort to know that that sweet baby girl is in the arms of Jesus, and is perfectly perfect as can be š
Hi Julie — I experienced two back-to-back losses, each around 9 weeks and after heartbeat detection. I want to encourage you to stay encouraged–it’s very possible that you are simply unlucky, which is awful, but leaves much space for hope and a different outcome next time. For me, on this, my third pregnancy, all indications are that we are headed (finally!) to our first live birth. I ended up needing to do IVF, but actually first saw an reproductive endocrinologist for miscarriage testing (of me and my husband) after my 2nd miscarriage. They test for things like the parents chromosomes and certain blood-clotting disorders. Though many medical professionals might discourage you from testing until miscarriage #3, please know that you can choose to test now. In my case, my insurance covered almost all of the testing after miscarriage #2.
Some quotes that have kept me going through my own baby-making adventure: “I’ve worked too hard to quit now.” + “Wear your tragedies as armor, not shackles.” + “Stop worrying about what can go wrong, and get excited about what can go right.” + “Everyone keeps popping out kids and I’m all like ‘My dog is awesome!'”
Thank you for sharing this with me. I do still have a lot of anxiety and think some additional testing might be helpful for me. I received another message from my doctor this afternoon recommending a specific test for placental issues (something that concerned her because of some placenta abnormalities I had during my first pregnancy) and I will definitely ask about additional testing as well. I hope and pray that you have a healthy pregnancy, baby and delivery. <3 <3
Also, I absolutely LOVE this -- "Stop worrying about what can go wrong and get excited about what can go right." <-- So hard to do but something I definitely want to focus on.
Thank you for continuing to be honest. This is such a hard thing to go through. I too have experienced miscarriage and there is nothing easy about it. Even though I have had one successful pregnancy and have my daughter who is almost 3, it hurts every time someone asks about our future baby plans. I want to tell them none of this is the plan but I know deep down this is God’s plan. I continue to push through and keep faith- I have an incredible husband and an amazing daughter. Whatever the future holds for your family, I hope you too can keep faith and focus on the good things you have.
One thing that really helped me was recommended to me by my natural doctor (and may sound nuts, but for me it worked) was to hold a “remembrance” of sorts, light a candle, say prayer(s), write out thoughts on a piece of paper, then flush the paper and blow out the candle. This oddly enough, allowed us to find some piece and let go a bit. It allowed me to feel like grieving was justified and that the chapter was closed. (Honestly not sure I have shared that with anyone before but this really helped me when I couldn’t even drag myself out of bed for work- and couldn’t afford not to.)
Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Thank you for taking the time to share this comment with me, Sharon. And I am so, so sorry you know this pain. Just yesterday, at the grocery store, I had a woman ask me Chase’s age and say, “Only one kid?” I just nodded but my heart felt so heavy. Yes, “only one” but one I feel so grateful for every single day. But, like you said, “none of this is the plan” but I do have hope and believe one day you and I will both look back on this time in our lives with some kind of understanding, even if it takes a long time to get there.
I’m so sorry for you Julie! I’m praying for you. I wanted to comment that people were always asking when we were going to have another child when my son was around 3. I was so hurt because what they didn’t know was that we were trying so hard and for long to have another child. My son luckily came fast and with no problems in my pregnancy. When we tried for the second time I had a very early miscarriage the 4th month we were trying. It took a yr and a half to get pregnant after I had some fertility testing done which revealed that I had low egg follicles at age 32. I was heartbroken but the next month I found out I was pregnant. Because of the early loss I had prior and knowing about my egg situation, I was so scared during my whole pregnancy but I now have an 8 month old. My sons are 5 1/2 yrs apart and people ask all the time but it is painful to remember what it took for our second son and I’m so blessed for them. And I don’t care about the age difference.
Also during my loss and infertility, I realized how many people have struggled and you may not know. Some people go through great lengths to have the family that they have and I realized that it wasn’t just me. Hope that helps you a small bit. Hugs and I know you will have the family that you have hoped for.
I’m so terribly sorry, Julie. I appreciate how open and honest you are – I hope you know how much your story helps those you have gone through similar situations, as well as, people (like me) who haven’t but want to know how they can help others who have. I truly believe a big reason we are here on earth is to help others so please find some comfort in knowing you are HELPING so many people during this truly unfortunate time. God Bless you and your family!
Every time I read a post about your miscarriage or an update like this, I want to hug you and let you know that you can talk about this experience and your feelings all you need. What you are going through is heartbreaking and so difficult. You have in no way exhausted all of the kindness and love from us, and you could never. We are right here along side you, and you being real and open about your feelings not only shows your strength, but brings us all closer together as human beings. I wish I could tell you all of this in person as writing is not my strength, but I just want you to know how much love we have for you and your sweet baby girl, and to thank you for sharing your story. <3
Your comment made me cry. Thank you so much, Catherine. I really, really appreciate your words so much.
Thinking of you and Ryan.
xo
Oh Julie, reading this breaks my heart and brings tears to my eyes for you. (Literally crying at work reading this right now) Thank you so much for sharing how you feel and for sharing every thing you are going through at this horrible time, and for being so honest and open about it. Please know that I am keeping you in my prayers, and sending you so many hugs through the internet. You are so strong, and just know that all of your readers love you and are here for you always! (I mean, being a longtime reader and you being the first blog I EVER read…I feel like I know you) I hope you can find comfort in knowing that your sweet little baby girl is in heaven with Jesus. HUGS!!! Xoxoxo
I just want to give you(and everyone else in this comment section) a hug! I think everyone is so brave to be sharing your stories.
xoxo
I had two miscarriages before our two girls were born. It’s unlucky and sad, but I know you will have another baby soon. I think the hardest part is having to wait once again those two months before you can try again. i know you will have another baby and when you do you will appreciate and cherish every moment even more than you thought possible.