Days that were once filled with marathon feeding sessions, naps and non-stop cuddles are now filled with lots of interactive playtime, goofy faces, breastfeeding that often feels like a small battle and naps that only last for a hot second.
Mothering a four month old baby has me feeling overwhelmed and exhausted but also somehow completely joyful every single day.
When I go into Chase’s nursery after a 20 minute nap that I was really hoping would be closer to 60 minutes, I often walk through the door feeling incredibly frustrated but that somehow fades when I see the big goofy grin on his face, emerging from his cozy swaddled little body.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: God made babies so darn cute as the ultimate defense mechanism against overwhelmed and frustrated parents.
Though the transition from the bassinet beside our bed into the crib in Chase’s nursery went smoothly this month, I am beginning to think we need to do something to encourage Chase to get into a routine and sleep more soundly once he goes down at night… But oh my gosh all of the different sleep training and scheduling philosophies out there leave me feeling lost, overwhelmed and clueless as to where to begin. Please help! I need a Cliffs Notes version of this stuff or something. Some days I feel like I am on the verge of tears all day long after a rough night, super-short daytime naps and little time left to try to work from home during the day.
(Sometimes the only way I get anything done at all is by wearing Chase in the Baby K’Tan as I bounce around and work on the computer from the kitchen counter or let him sleep swaddled on my lap when he refuses to nap in his crib.)
I’ve heard through the grapevine that baby sleep and sleep training is incredibly controversial but I am all for the philosophy that parents are just doing the best they can and trying to make good decisions and that best suit their baby and their family. If there is something you did that helped your baby sleep soundly and nap well, I welcome your advice and thoughts.
Right now, we’re putting Chase to bed between 7 and 7:30 p.m. after bath time (<— we’ve had MAJOR bath time progress since last month) and a big bottle of breastmilk. Chase wakes up to nurse at night between 12:30 and 1:30 a.m. and again around 4 a.m. (Sometimes he falls back asleep immediately, but most of the time several rounds of Paci-Pong occur when we’re getting up to replace his pacifier before he’ll get back to sleep.) We thought this was more or less our new routine but then last night we had the worst night we’ve had in months and Chase was up at 11 p.m. to feed and then awoke again at 2 a.m. and remained awake until 4 a.m. He was wide-eyed, cooing and having a grand ol’ time while Ryan and I stared at him on the monitor, willing him to go back to sleep. I’ve read all about the four month sleep regression and if the sleep pattern we experienced over the weekend and last night is any indication, we’re smack-dab in the middle of it. Mommin’ ain’t easy and babies can totally kick your butt.
But aside from challenges related to sleep, Chase is just the coolest.
He’s playful, smiley and energetic and I never thought I’d have so much fun with a baby who cannot talk, walk or sit up.
He’s my absolute favorite.
Chase has started putting everything in his mouth and loves holding onto toys and fingers. My mommy heart explodes when he grips onto my shirt collar and fingertips. He’s much more observant these days and super interactive! He can generally entertain himself on his activity mat or in the Rock ‘n’ Play (facing a window because OUTSIDE ROCKS!) for about 10-15 minutes before he needs a buddy.
The way Chase smiles is my favorite thing in the universe. Ryan and I say that he smiles in a way that seems to overwhelm him and overtake his whole body. His face lights up, his body scrunches over and he often has to look away when he’s smiling so hard. It’s just the best thing ever and simultaneously makes me want to laugh out loud and cry big fat tears because I know this time is so fleeting.
I’ve learned to cherish cuddletime because it already feels like it’s fading. Chase would now much rather be held upright so he can look around, push off our legs with his feet, nod his head and coo away at anything and everything. He found his voice this month, that’s for sure!
Everyday, I am overwhelmed by the love I have for our sweet baby boy. I feel so blessed to be his mother and I’m pretty sure I have never smiled so much in my life, even if a lot of my smiles are sleepy ones. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for our boy and he is truly the biggest ray of sunshine in my life.
I love you, Chase!
Likes
- Outside
- Faces
- Playing airplane
- High-pitched voices
- His Oball
- Playing in his activity jumper
- Pushing off everything with his legs
- Mirrors
- Lights
- Reading a book with mom at bed time
- Dad’s silly faces
Dislikes
- Being carried like a baby (unless he’s sleepy)
- Mom singing to him at night (Oh the horror!)
- Having his ears cleaned and nose wiped
- Rubbing his back (Patting only, please!)
- Stroking his hair (So hard to resist!)
Four Month Baby Favorites
Below you will find a few of our “must have” baby items from the past month! More detailed lists of our previous favorites may be found in the monthly recaps linked at the bottom of this post.
- Baby Einstein Activity Jumper
- MyBaby Sound Spa Sound Machine (This one lasts forever and doesn’t automatically switch off after 20-45 minutes like so many others)
- Boppy Lounger
- WubbaNubs
- Oball Rattling Ball (He is OBSESSED with this toy! He loves gripping all the different quadrants and putting it in his mouth. I will be giving this toy to all of my expectant friends in the future!)
- Zipper Onesies
- Baby Einstein Musical Toy
Past Baby Updates
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De lurking to offer baby sleep support! Two things helped me with baby sleep – realistic expectations and knowing this is a phase. It is so hard though.
4 month sleep regression is rubbish. But it will pass.
These links helped me:
https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/baby-sleep-what-is-normal/
https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/3-6-month-baby-sleep-survival-guide/
Good luck xxx
How do you get your fitness routine in with a 4 month old? Its impossible for me
You’re right that sleep training and sleep in general is controversial. Somehow people equate a “good baby” with one that sleeps through the night! You will get many opinions and some will be harsh – “cry it out is psychologically damaging” or “cosleeping is enabling”. People love to dish out accusatory statements about this kind of thing. Bottom line: do what works for you, and what brings you peace. If you want to try something but are worried/concerned – do your own research! Remember there is no one right way to do ANYTHING and even the most reputed “sleep” experts are all trying to sell books 😉 all us new moms (and dads) are just trying to do the best we can. (I am up right now at 4 am nursing my first baby – 6 week old!) you’ve got this. And remember – there is a season for everything. This too will pass 🙂
Have you thought a sleep sack or zippadee-zip instead of a swaddling with a blanket?
YES! We are moving to a zip a dee zip this weekend… I have heard great things about it.
Aw man, Julie, I feel for ya! Our little girl is 7 weeks old, and I think we just finished a 6 week growth spurt/regression. She had just gotten up to 4 hour stretches of sleep at night, and then Thanksgiving came and she was up every hour or two each night. I kept thinking it was from the holiday (we had our first sleepover that night at Grandma’s), but when the sleep troubles lasted days, I realized that she was probably going through a growth spurt.
This is all so hard! And so rewarding! When she gives me a big smile, especially first thing in the morning, it sure wipes out a bad night, but it’s still super hard.
Looking forward to coming back to this post to read the comments!
Oh this so reminds me of what we went through with my son! He is now 2+, and we have a brand new baby at home as well. I did allllllll the research and read and read and read tried every method.. Looking back I think going through that stage of mommahood is par for the course for many of us (wondering.. why won’t my baby sleep? What can I do? When will this end?.. And researching until you can’t see straight). I’m no expert, and continue to learn so much with our new baby too, but it really helped me to just toss out the baby books and skip their recommendations and talk directly with our doctor. Every baby truly is different, and it made me feel awful that our baby wasn’t napping as long as the books said he “should be”, or was waking to eat when he “didn’t need to”, etc… I felt like such a failure until i worked with our doctor and formed a plan with my husband based on our specific little guy and what he really needed from us. I felt so much more empowered and I credit that time as truly discovering my own style as a mom. Good luck, Julie! You’re doing such a great job!
As a tired momma to three kiddos under 5 I totally understand the frustrating sleep situation. I stumbled upon my favorite sleep tip out of desperation on day. When I hear the baby start to stir I set a timer (usually for about 5 minutes) which gives me enough time to finish whatever I’m working on. But, the timer makes sure that it isn’t any shorter or longer. So, so, so many times my babies fall back asleep before the timer goes off. My second favorite tip is never make a happy baby happier. If they wake up content and talking to themselves I leave them alone until they are no longer happy and then I go in to get them and move onto the next part of the day. Hope it helps. This phase will pass just as quickly as the last one did ?
Look at how smiley and happy he is! 🙂 Oh my gosh Julie I cannot get over how fast he is growing! Thank you for making my day with Chase’s adorable face. 🙂
What a sweet boy! My boy had issues staying asleep too…hubby used to say he just liked the boobies too much! 😉 Sleep training is the only thing that worked for us – I waited until 8 months to try it and I was a walking zombie by then. I was very guilty of always comforting him when he cried. The rule of thumb is how many minutes to let them cry/rustle/soothe themselves per how many months they are. It isn’t easy, but if you can get through a couple of weeks it works!
Oh and p.s. he’s 12 now an
He’s 12 now and has shown no negative effects from sleep training! In fact he is still as cuddly and loving as ever, and enjoys sleeping a lot. 😉 It all seems so overwhelming when they’re small, but once they get bigger you realize it is all part of the grand scheme. Good luck!
Hi Julie! Longtime reader here, and I’ve been waiting for you to ask “sleep training” advice, because you’re right, it’s so controversial, and I didn’t want to give unwarranted or unhelpful advice before you were ready! Many will say that what you are experiencing is normal and that’s just part of being a mom…and that’s true to some extent. But it doesn’t have to be! We ST our now 1 year old, and it was the best decision for our family. I actually am part of a very non-judgmental fb group that offers great advice and support to parents who are interested in ST. They do give a cliff notes versions of each type of ST and help you find the one you’re most comfortable with to use. I would be happy to add you if you’re interested! I feel like I could go on and on about this topic, but it may work better if you send me specific questions and I respond via email. I would love to help! Hope you and little man have a restful Wednesday. 🙂
Like you said, sleep methods are very controversial. We used baby wise and my daughter slept through the night (11pm-7am) at 6 weeks. No I’m not kidding. She’s now 9 months and still naps and sleeps like a champ
We used the Babywise method. This is one that is considered controversial but people who say it’s “cruel” really just don’t understand the method. It can also be modified to your comfort level. It advocates letting baby cry/fuss for a little to let them self soothe (doesn’t specify a length of time, we did 15 mins max). It also helps you put them on a schedule. It was seriously life changing for us. There are tons of books and blogs on the topic but I can email you a condensed cliff notes version that could help you if you want! Just reply letting me know and I’ll email it to you today
I’m curious what you mean by a ‘big’ bottle of breastmilk before bed? Why are you not nursing him directly? Without knowing the answers to that question – I am assuming you are giving him pumped milk since you think it will make him sleep longer? If so – I do not think at all that that is the right way to go about it. I think it will just get Chase used to an amount of breastmilk that he cannot get from the breast – which can lead to frustration at the breast. Sleep is highly developmental – you can definitely do things to encourage better sleep habits but don’t get your expecations up. Under 6 months – I followed the nap after 2 hours of awake time during the day. If wake up early (i.e. after 20 mintues – encourage to go back to sleep). After 6 months – I followed the 2-3-4 naptime routine – which was amazing and worked wonders with my twins. At night, I always responded to their needs – I did not believe in doing CIO.
My 17 month old also named Chase must be the one and only baby who slept through the night nice day 1. We had to wake him up for feedings. Now he takes two naps daily and doesn’t fight me ever.
My kids were terrible sleepers too. It was so hard, but one thing I learned is that it’s all just a phase and that when you can’t take it any longer the kids move on to something else and there is sweet releif 🙂 We did the Ferber method with my first child – basically sleep it out and it worked like a charm. We waited until the doctor said he no longer really needed feedings at night for growth – around 6 months. My daughter on the otherhand it never worked on her. She would cry it out for hours – she was so determined. Your in the thick of it – so I won’t tell you when she started consistently sleeping through the night 😉 But, we survived. I did recently see this sleep sack thing on Shark Tank – maybe it will help?
http://www.sleepingbaby.com/
As far as sleeping issues, our baby girl (now 2 and expecting a little brother in March) really slept through the night when we moved her to her own room around 8 weeks old. Doctors would say that when she was in our room in the bassinet, she could smell me (and my milk) and would wake up more frequently and not sleep as long. When she moved to her own room, she slept almost through the night. Also, I set her in her rock-n-play (whatever it’s called) throughout the day. That way, she wasn’t used to always having to held or directly near me or on me. When you said he only sleeps when he is in your lap or being carried around in the carrier, it made me think of my good friend whose baby would only sleep on her chest. Nightmare for mom!! While it may be sweet for him to want to sleep on you or near you, it isn’t so sweet for you and your schedule, day or night. Again, try to get him to sleep in a separate room or in a separate rocker during the day so he is not on/near you, smelling you or sensing you near. Maybe he will start to feel more comfortable about sleeping longer.
Different things work for different people, so I encourage you to try whatever you feel comfortable with. Just sharing my experience and hope that it will help in one way or another. Your baby is so cute and I love to check in and see how he’s doing. I’m expecting a little boy at the end of March and seeing your little boy gets me even more excited. XOXO
By the way, we NEVER woke up my daughter (now 2) for feedings. Let a sleeping baby sleep!!! Trust me, when they are hungry, they will definitely let you know. On the other hand, I would get up to pump. The house would be quiet, with my husband, baby daughter, and German Shepherd all sleeping soundly. And I would be up with my Medela, pumping away. 🙂 Just because she was sleeping didn’t mean I couldn’t pump and freeze all that liquid gold. Our second freezer (the breast milk freezer) was purchased for that very reason. XOXO
If babies are ever in my future, I’m referencing your old blog posts like a bible! I hope the blog stays up and running until then 😀 <3
As hard as it is, he sounds perfectly normal to me. Every baby is different. My twins are 5 months right now, and my son only wakes up 1-3 times per night but my daughter still wakes EVERY 1-2 hours. I partially co-sleep with her because that allows me to get some sleep!
My oldest son (now 7 years old) didn’t regularly sleep a 4-6 hour stretch until he was 7 months old.
I also feel those times where I really want to sleep train, but I know they will outgrow this sleepless stage soon, and sleep training just doesn’t “feel” right to me. I think you have to go with your gut instinct.
We just finished the sleep regression stage with our 4 month old. It was rough. We went from a baby that was sleeping through the night since 8 weeks to one that was fussing all night long. For us, we moved her back into our room in the pack and play so it was easier to put back in the pacifier. I thought we were bad parents and she’d be sleeping with us forever, but a week ago she went back to sleeping all night. It will get better! I can’t stand to hear my baby cry and once she gets going she can’t calm herself down. You just have to do what works best for you guys and remember that it does get better!
aw Chase is just so cute! My friend had a sleep trainer come in and work with her and her husband on getting their daughter to sleep through the night, she says its the best thing she ever did!
All of your posts are so great and in depth! I don’t have kids but I might some day, so all of this is so helpful to know. Thanks for sharing, and Chase is getting cuter by the day!
I’m not a mother (yet) so I shouldn’t be giving too much advice but I would say once and you Ryan make a plan just make sure you stick to it! Chase is seriously one of the cutest babies I’ve ever seen!!! Do you see more of yourself in him or Ryan!? I feel like baby boys always end up looking like their dads at first.
I am a long time reader but have never actually commented on your blog. I am also a mom of a little boy (he is 2 now!) so have enjoyed your posts about motherhood and pregnancy. Honestly, 4 months was the TOUGHEST for us in terms of sleep. I think the “4 month sleep regression” is pretty common, but that doesn’t make it any easier! At that point, our son had been on a fairly predictable schedule of waking up twice a night to nurse (with bedtime around 7:30 or 8). We actually started by putting him to bed an hour EARLIER (closer to 6:30) since he seemed to wiped by that time. That helped him to get a nice solid stretch of sleep in the first part of the night (and then I would rush to bed super early as well for my sanity!). I also started to do a little bit of “pausing and listening” when he would fuss or cry at times that weren’t normal feeding times. He often settled himself back down in a matter of minutes! I would try this, if you are comfortable with it. Of course, if he ever got himself really worked up, we would go in and calm him down or nurse him back to sleep. Within a few weeks he sorted out this developmental leap and starting at around 5.5 months he was only up once a night to nurse (usually around 4am). Then, at around 7 months he learned to roll over both ways and started sleeping through the night! That might seem like a long ways away, but trust me, time flies! Congratulations on your adorable little boy and good luck working through the sleep stuff. Never easy but if you establish a good routine for him at a young age it will really pay off. xo
Hang in there, momma! Our babies are about a week apart. A few things that have worked for us 1) we put our little girl down drowsy but awake. We started it during nap times at 3 months and have recently started at night (before she was always falling asleep with a bottle). She will talk to herself for about 10 minutes but it has helped her learn to fall back asleep on her own when she wakes up in the middle of the night.
2) We stopped swaddling our baby at night as we found she’s active enough now where she needs to be able to move and settle herself in. 3) we turn our video monitor on silent at night- our room is close enough that we will hear her screaming if it comes to that, otherwise even if she wakes up and is babbling we don’t hear it and wake up. Hang in there! Babies are super tough and the best things ever!
Aw, this made me cry 🙁 Time does fly by! My son is now two years old and I’m not really sure where all the time went. He’s a champ of a sleeper now (7pm-7am). But, it wasn’t always like that. I remember the 4 month sleep regression, and nothing really worked for us. We just had to ride it out. It was tough, but I will say a sound machine is key and a swaddle at that age. And, not to scare you, but my son wasn’t a good sleeper until he reached about 9 months. And, it’s really because we reached a breaking point and sleep trained him then. But, it will get better. I also happen to be 6 weeks pregnant, and am having flashbacks to the newborn phase reading your post. I know our world will be rocked again next summer in the sleep department. I feel for ya.
He’s such a cute little guy! 🙂
I’ve heard keeping the light really low and staying quiet and low key 30 minutes-1 hour before bedtime helps them to know and learn to wind down before bed. it takes a few weeks to get them to understand though!
You’re doing great!
My daughter will be 2 on Tuesday, and I have no idea how that happened so quickly. I’m sure I’ll be saying the same thing when she’s 18.
Sleep training nearly ripped my heart out the first 2 nights. We did the 3 day method (loosely). Cliff’s note version, the first night we put her down and went in to reassure her at timed intervals (10 minutes, 15 minutes later, 20 minutes after that, etc) until she went down by herself. The second night was much easier and by the third night she went down to sleep. But every couple of weeks the sleep pattern changes at least a little – that’s just what I think kids do. Every once and a while we’d have to go in and reassure her again and usually within a couple of days she’s back to normal (assuming she isn’t sick or teething or some other issue). We’ve also found that running a humidifier in her room at night is helpful. I hope some of that helps! Bottom line is to do what works for your family and not worry about what others think.
I also have a 4 month old and went through this same thing about a month ago. Sometimes I would run back and replace the pacifier so many times I would just cry! I switched all naps to our baby swing and it worked like a charm. Our baby now takes two one hour naps and 1 2-3 hour nap. The swing has also somehow taught her how to fall asleep without the pacifier. I think the swing is so soothing that she doesn’t need the pacifier.
For night time, she sleeps in her crib. And now that she is well rested, she sleeps pretty well. If the pacifier falls out she just turns her head and falls asleep which is so amazing!!I also read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and moved up her bedtime to 6:30 and she is only awake during the day for 1-2 hrs and we try to pick up on early sleepy cues and act fast to get her down for a nap.
My guess is that Chase is overtired which prevents him from sleeping well and he’s overly relying on the pacifier to fall asleep. Some form of sleep training may be helpful to teach him how to fall asleep on his own. Good luck!!
Have you tried the Magic Merlin sleep suit? That helped us BIG TIME. It just seems to calm our daughter down and sleep soundly for longer periods.
He’s getting so big Julie! He looks adorable – I say the same thing about the cuteness being a survival mechanism! Especially for my almost three year old who has taken to sassy back talk already. Insert all the crying emojis here. And my 16 month old who still doesn’t sleep through the night! Boo!!
I honestly don’t know how working moms do it – I spend so so much time reading blogs and books and websites to get as much info as possible about pretty much all the baby stuff. My favorite is Hellobee – it’s a blog with several contributing authors and there are lots of posts about sleep – I think you can get the overview you are looking for with the posts in the archives there.
There are so many things you can try – but I think at four months, sleep training is a bit early. I think once you get to the five/six month age, it’s more age appropriate to start with gentle sleep training and from there you can add in stronger attempts if you’re still not where you want to be. That said, you know your situation the best and have to pick something that works for your whole family! 🙂
I know it’s cliche – but it does get easier. You have so many awesome things to look forward to very soon! 🙂 And for what it’s worth – baby wanting to be held all the time is totally normal!!
Well, regarding your wish to be able to work from home while he naps, I think you will find that that quickly just does not work as they get older. Have your husband or a baby sitter handle the child care during times that you need to work. Work once your husband gets home, or right after he goes to bed at night. Why not have a nanny in for a small part of the day so you can work?
My husband and I happened to luck out with a set of twin girls who love to sleep (unless they’re cutting a tooth then all bets are off). However, they definitely did not get into a solid nap routine until around 6 months. Before that it was just 20-30 minute cat naps throughout the day. Once your little man starts exerting more energy rolling and sitting and doing all of the adorable things semi-mobile babies do you’ll see a change in his sleep pattern for sure! Two, 1.5 hours naps per day is literally a life saver! Now they’re 20 months old and take one 2-2.5 hour nap per day.
I have three kids. My first go round went like yours. I ended up ditching tbe paci (reinserting it started keeping me up more and more and she relied on it to sleep preventing her from being able to put herself back to sleep). I also did a modified cry it out at 5 months. With my second two I learned. I think the biggest thing I sid different (mostly out of necessity) was let them cry during the day a little more so little by little they learned to soothe themselves. If I was cookig dinner and they started crying in their swing, they waited 5 minutes until I finished what I was doing. I didn’t jump at every cry and whine. Therefore they learned to soothe themselves. And by 8 weeks both of my second two were sleeping 10-12 straight hours at night and by three months were taking two 2 hour naps plus a few catnaps in between as needed. Babies NEED sleep. They are trying to grow and their little brains need rest. I totally understand not wanting to hear your baby cry, it kills me. But giving your child the gift of restful restorative sleep is huge! So it’s not just selfish so you can get rest, babies need it!
I agree with Lindsay about encouraging babies to learn to self-soothe. As long as baby is not crying because they are sick or hungry, learning to self-soothe is going to make the biggest difference in the world. Lindsay is right that babies need tons of sleep to grow but part of why they wake up often (aside from feedings) is because they haven’t learned the skills to self-soothe yet. We did sleep training with my daughter when she was 4 months and I wish I would’ve done it sooner. The first night she only cried for 10 min. The second night it was like less than 5 min. and by the third night she went down for the whole night and has slept through ever since (she’s now 6). I decided that when I’m ready to have a second child I will definitely encourage self-soothing and not jump at every single fuss. It sounds controversial but I promise you it’s not going to scar them for life or anything 😉 Some babies are natural great sleepers and others need more encouragement and an opportunity to learn the skill of getting themselves back to sleep.
Oh my gosh, I could have written this myself when Avery was 4 months old. I though I had the overnight sleep thing down until 4 months also. She had been getting up twice a night to nurse, which was manageable, until the regression hit us like a tone of bricks. At about this time, she started getting up anywhere between 4 and 7 times a night for about two more months. It was rough to say the least. I felt like such a failure and, like you, attempted to read every book on sleep training that I could.
Ultimately, we had to do some sleep training and although I never felt comfortable with the “cry it out” method, I do believe that Avery needed to learn how to self-soothe and put herself back to sleep. We did a gradual, check-in method and she never actually cried for more that 10 minutes. (Although this was absolutely heart-breaking, and felt like an eternity!!!) Eventually she began to really like being in her crib and now goes down for naps and bed without any problem. She actually points to the stairs when she gets tired almost like she is asking if she can go to bed.
Two things that really helped her also was giving her a “lovie”. We had several options and there was one that she seemed to prefer over the others. It really seems to comfort her and gives here something to hold on to while falling asleep. (We checked with our Dr. before allowing it in the crib.) Also we put several pacifiers in the crib. At around 6 months she learned how to put her own paci in. This was huge! We put about 3 in her crib so that she can always find one in the middle of the night. Hope this helps!
What a handsome guy with a beautiful smile!
Our sleep regression lasted over 2 months and for a long time was him waking even 1-3 hours. Once we finally got serious about sleep training it took 5 or so weeks for him to sleep through the night, which just happened recently and isn’t consistent but boy does it feel great when it happens! It didn’t take long for him to start napping well. The most important thing we did was take away his pacifier. He depended on it to sleep and we had to replace it way too frequently in order to get him back to sleep. Once we did that, he started falling asleep like a champ. We (for the most part) can lay him down and walk out and he will fall asleep with little to no fussing.
Good luck! That gummy smile is what keeps a mama going 🙂
How did you go about taking the paci away?
I totally agree with other readers- you have to do what feels right to you and as Chase’s mom, you are the expert on him! I have a 4.5 month old daughter, and am a first time mom. We have used a combination of Baby Wise and the Baby Whisperer, and while sleep training is controversial, she has been sleeping through the night since 6 weeks. She is also such a happy baby. Both of these are books and I would recommend either! If you have any questions, I am always happy to help 🙂 Hang in there- being a new mom is tough and challenging in so many ways, but full of so much joy too. I can so relate!
YEP! It’s so fun and I keep telling Cory that Jack seems cooler and more fun every day. But MAN is it exhausting, especially when sleep isn’t the best. I, too, feel like I’m on the verge of tears all day following a sleepless night (and semi-napless day) and even if I get one good night of sleep, I’m STILL tired. I think I need approximately 4 straight days of sleep, and then maybe I’ll feel caught up 🙂
Chase is the cutest, Julie! I love the baby smiles that take over their whole bodies! AND JUST WAIT UNTIL HE GIGGLES!!!!
My advice will be really controversial: get rid of the monitor. My kids are older (13, 12 & 9) but monitors were very popular in their day as well. I found that babies are very good at letting you know if they need you by their lungs. Sweating it out by listening to a monitor only keeps you up.
Whatever you decide, good luck!
Check out the sleep easy solution!
http://cupofjo.com/2012/10/motherhood-mondays-sleep-training-its-tough/
The sleeping will get better! 4 month regression was hard. Also, the boppy newborn lounger, best thing ever for sure! EK is 14 months and still goes over to lay in it while shes drinking her milk or when she gets tired. She doesn’t really fit but it’s so cute!
I encourage you to read this book: “healthy sleep habits, happy baby”. We followed its advice with all 3 of our babies and I have to say, they have all been great sleepers and still are (18 months, 5, 9). Because guess what, the sleep challenges don’t just end with infancy! When they get older, you will have bedtime battles getting them to stay in bed, middle of the night challenges when they wake up and try to climb in bed with you, etc. My best advice is to start sleep training now (this does not necessarily mean cry it out, just whatever plan you decide to go with) and stay firm with your plan! The 4 month sleep regression is so tough! Our youngest went from sleeping 12 hrs straight they the night to waking up multiple times at night at 4 months on the dot! Darn near killed us!! The good news is, whatever you decide to do, it will get better sooner or late! Good luck! Chase is awfully cute:). Oh, and I have found that naps tend to get longer around 5-6 months of age. That is the time when most babies tend to “consolidate” their daytime sleep and quit taking lots of mini-naps throughout the day!
Aw Chase is the cutest!! And I’m only 17 months into motherhood, but I can honestly say that my answer to this question — >”does there ever come a time in your child’s life when you’re not totally baffled by how fast time passes!?” is a definite NO! 🙂 Time is flying now more than ever!
My daughter was the world’s worst sleeper her entire first year and was known to wake up 7-10 times a night. We tried everything, but she didn’t end up sleeping through the night until after I stopped breastfeeding at 13 months. I am hoping for a better sleeper the second time around, but she now sleeps super well and better than most of her little friends her age so I like to say that the first year of a hellish sleep schedule was good sleeping karma for these toddler years. Hang in there!!
Sounds like little man could be entering the 4 month sleep regression. Hang in there and remember everything is just a phase.
My daughter was a good sleeper (she’s now 2), but didn’t get into a predictable nap routine until 6 months. I drove myself crazy trying to force it, and missed some great moments in the process. It will happen….I promise!!
Do you angle the mattress in Chase’s crib? May help if he’s used to it being angled in the rock and play. I also insisted on putting my little one down drowsy but awake. To start, I’d put her in the crib, lay my hand on her belly, but look away from her. Slowly, I was able to do that less and less. We never had to do a sleep training technique, but I’m not opposed to it.
I tended to follow the book “12 Hours By 12 Weeks”. It’s a short read and lays out a structured schedule of eat, play, sleep. Keeping a journal of sleep and eating helped outline a routine.
I highly recommend the Furbur Method . It took us about a week (and it was not fun) but now our daughter reaches for her crib and goes to slee immediately on her own. We started around 4 months and she is 1yr now. Also look into the dream feed. We out her down and I would pick her up and nurse her in the dark before I went to sleep. She pretty much slept through it and it was a great time to snuggle! Good luck!
First I want to say that you are doing great and you are an awesome Mom. My guess is that he is overtired, sleep begets sleep. I would try an earlier bedtime. I know it seems counter intuitive but it will help. It was tough for us because both my husband and i worked out of the house and would not get home until 5:30 and then we were starting bath at 6 and putting him to bed at 6:30 but it made a huge difference. We went from 4 to 5 wake ups and terrible naps to 1 to 2 wake ups and 3 solid naps. We did cry it out at 6 months and it only took 2 nights and just like that we had a baby that well, slept like a baby! Good luck and whatever happens know you are doing great!!
We used Moms on Call, but with a colicky/reflux baby at first, the scheduling thing didn’t work for us (tons of friends rave about it and it really is a Cliffs Notes version of all things mommy/baby related). By 4 months we had similar night time wakeups (that were all over the place after having some consistency) and after talking to our pediatrician we did some sleep training (an absolute lifesaver to us; only took about 4 days to get in a decent place). There will always be some ups and downs, but when you have a few consistent good nights (or even one!), you can handle the bumps in the road with less frustration (blame the hormones and lack of sleep for your feelings)! We ended up doing one final feeding around 9:45/10 which was before I wanted to go to bed and nutritionally our baby boy was ok until 6-7am based on his weight. This worked wonders for us, but I definitely recommend discussing with your doctor as not all babies are physically ready for such a long stretch! But if you could get from 10-4, it may be better for you and then technically only one wake up in the middle of the night….it’s tough at the beginning to adjust because I always wanted to go to bed at 7:30-8, but so awesome when you are on more of “normal” bedtime routine. As with every phase, this will be a blur and life just keeps getting sweeter with them!
I just want to say thanks for being so honest and real in your post. I have a 7 week old right now and am struggling with the whole sleeping thing as well. It’s just nice to know I am not alone, thanks!
Chase is SO cute *I bet you hear that all the time 🙂
I remember the 4 month sleep regression – no fun. It was at this time, however, that I introduced my son to baby cereal. I would nurse/bottle feed breast milk as usual before bed and also give him a serving (or less if that’s all he wanted) of baby cereal (I forget specifics – but the flakes that you can mix w/ breast milk). He slept SO much longer with a full belly. I know every parent and pediatrician has a different opinion about when to introduce solid food, but it worked for us. I think my son was just hUnGrY (i.e., kept me up all night). So the little bit of cereal he ate before bed helped. Also (I apologize for the unsolicited advice but just trying to help – no judgment on my end <-who needs that?!) – my son was kind of ready to sleep without being swaddled around this age. His arms kept popping out of the swaddle which was frustrating, but once we let him kick his arms and legs freely as he slept, he napped a LOT better.
No matter what anyone tells you though (myself included) – just remember that you're doing an awesome job 🙂
My now 17 month old boy is finally a good sleeper however, he is kept on a schedule because that is what works for him (and us). Prior to finding our schedule, we were all over the map and I was sleep deprived and so frustrated.
We waiting until about 7-8 months before we allowed him to cry. It was the hardest thing ever, but I had quite literally reached the end of my rope. It took 2 nights and from then on we’ve been able to lay him down in his crib and he would talk and coo himself to sleep. I know letting your baby cry isn’t for everyone, but we had tried every single other method and ultimately I wanted a child that could sleep.
Let me add this, I nursed him and he nursed once a night until he was 11 months old. I was okay with it because he went back to sleep and as he got older the nursing sessions got faster. Now that phase is over and we are on to other sleep disruption issues. It is always something but you know your baby best. Do what is right for you and him.
I just have to say how appreciative I am for your absolute honesty about how hard having a newborn is. I’m 4 months pregnant and am already freaking out about a sleep schedule. I work an hour away and don’t get home until after 6 and neither does my husband. We’re so overjoyed to have a baby but definitely worried about….well everything! My sister-in-law had a lot of success with the Baby Wise sleep training but it seems so restrictive to me so I bought the book for the concepts. I haven’t started it yet…maybe I’m in denial that I ACTUALLY have to do research before giving birth. You’re doing great and he is just the CUTEST thing!
Continue to stick with your routine at night – we started bath time around 3 months and we still do it (now every other night) at 13 months old. Some nights will be harder than others but before you know it he will be sleeping 8 hours straight through. So routine, routine, routine!
As for naps, our little guy at that age would nap for 30minutes tops! I read that babies go through 30 minute sleepy cycles and if you can get them through that initial wake up, they will continue to sleep. So when he wakes up either leave him be (unless he’s crying uncontrollably) and he’ll sooth himself back to sleep (babies start to learn that) or try and rock him back to sleep. Either way, he will grow out of it, may seem like it will never happen but it will before you know it. Keep up that great work, you’re an amazing Mama!
I know pretty much nothing about babies, as I have none of my own for now. But I just want to say his smile is beyond precious. It really does seem like he smiles with his whole little body.
And that, you sound like you’re doing a fantastic job Mommin’. I can’t imagine taking care of yourself & a little being who isn’t sleeping well. ‘Cause I know how cranky I am when I don’t sleep well. So, keep on keepin’ on!