Days that were once filled with marathon feeding sessions, naps and non-stop cuddles are now filled with lots of interactive playtime, goofy faces, breastfeeding that often feels like a small battle and naps that only last for a hot second.
Mothering a four month old baby has me feeling overwhelmed and exhausted but also somehow completely joyful every single day.
When I go into Chase’s nursery after a 20 minute nap that I was really hoping would be closer to 60 minutes, I often walk through the door feeling incredibly frustrated but that somehow fades when I see the big goofy grin on his face, emerging from his cozy swaddled little body.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: God made babies so darn cute as the ultimate defense mechanism against overwhelmed and frustrated parents.
Though the transition from the bassinet beside our bed into the crib in Chase’s nursery went smoothly this month, I am beginning to think we need to do something to encourage Chase to get into a routine and sleep more soundly once he goes down at night… But oh my gosh all of the different sleep training and scheduling philosophies out there leave me feeling lost, overwhelmed and clueless as to where to begin. Please help! I need a Cliffs Notes version of this stuff or something. Some days I feel like I am on the verge of tears all day long after a rough night, super-short daytime naps and little time left to try to work from home during the day.
(Sometimes the only way I get anything done at all is by wearing Chase in the Baby K’Tan as I bounce around and work on the computer from the kitchen counter or let him sleep swaddled on my lap when he refuses to nap in his crib.)
I’ve heard through the grapevine that baby sleep and sleep training is incredibly controversial but I am all for the philosophy that parents are just doing the best they can and trying to make good decisions and that best suit their baby and their family. If there is something you did that helped your baby sleep soundly and nap well, I welcome your advice and thoughts.
Right now, we’re putting Chase to bed between 7 and 7:30 p.m. after bath time (<— we’ve had MAJOR bath time progress since last month) and a big bottle of breastmilk. Chase wakes up to nurse at night between 12:30 and 1:30 a.m. and again around 4 a.m. (Sometimes he falls back asleep immediately, but most of the time several rounds of Paci-Pong occur when we’re getting up to replace his pacifier before he’ll get back to sleep.) We thought this was more or less our new routine but then last night we had the worst night we’ve had in months and Chase was up at 11 p.m. to feed and then awoke again at 2 a.m. and remained awake until 4 a.m. He was wide-eyed, cooing and having a grand ol’ time while Ryan and I stared at him on the monitor, willing him to go back to sleep. I’ve read all about the four month sleep regression and if the sleep pattern we experienced over the weekend and last night is any indication, we’re smack-dab in the middle of it. Mommin’ ain’t easy and babies can totally kick your butt.
But aside from challenges related to sleep, Chase is just the coolest.
He’s playful, smiley and energetic and I never thought I’d have so much fun with a baby who cannot talk, walk or sit up.
He’s my absolute favorite.
Chase has started putting everything in his mouth and loves holding onto toys and fingers. My mommy heart explodes when he grips onto my shirt collar and fingertips. He’s much more observant these days and super interactive! He can generally entertain himself on his activity mat or in the Rock ‘n’ Play (facing a window because OUTSIDE ROCKS!) for about 10-15 minutes before he needs a buddy.
The way Chase smiles is my favorite thing in the universe. Ryan and I say that he smiles in a way that seems to overwhelm him and overtake his whole body. His face lights up, his body scrunches over and he often has to look away when he’s smiling so hard. It’s just the best thing ever and simultaneously makes me want to laugh out loud and cry big fat tears because I know this time is so fleeting.
I’ve learned to cherish cuddletime because it already feels like it’s fading. Chase would now much rather be held upright so he can look around, push off our legs with his feet, nod his head and coo away at anything and everything. He found his voice this month, that’s for sure!
Everyday, I am overwhelmed by the love I have for our sweet baby boy. I feel so blessed to be his mother and I’m pretty sure I have never smiled so much in my life, even if a lot of my smiles are sleepy ones. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for our boy and he is truly the biggest ray of sunshine in my life.
I love you, Chase!
Likes
- Outside
- Faces
- Playing airplane
- High-pitched voices
- His Oball
- Playing in his activity jumper
- Pushing off everything with his legs
- Mirrors
- Lights
- Reading a book with mom at bed time
- Dad’s silly faces
Dislikes
- Being carried like a baby (unless he’s sleepy)
- Mom singing to him at night (Oh the horror!)
- Having his ears cleaned and nose wiped
- Rubbing his back (Patting only, please!)
- Stroking his hair (So hard to resist!)
Four Month Baby Favorites
Below you will find a few of our “must have” baby items from the past month! More detailed lists of our previous favorites may be found in the monthly recaps linked at the bottom of this post.
- Baby Einstein Activity Jumper
- MyBaby Sound Spa Sound Machine (This one lasts forever and doesn’t automatically switch off after 20-45 minutes like so many others)
- Boppy Lounger
- WubbaNubs
- Oball Rattling Ball (He is OBSESSED with this toy! He loves gripping all the different quadrants and putting it in his mouth. I will be giving this toy to all of my expectant friends in the future!)
- Zipper Onesies
- Baby Einstein Musical Toy
Past Baby Updates
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Just to hear another perspective, I would have loved to be getting that much sleep at 4 months! My son (now 14 months) was up pretty much every 2-3 hours to eat until at least 7 months when he started inconsistently sleeping longer stretches and didn’t STTN until a year. I was told that was normal for breastfed babies so I didn’t really expect him to be sleeping through the night earlier although I know some babies do, even breastfed babies. I was back at work at 12 weeks, up at 5 and out the door at 7 so I was exhausted but coffee, side lying nursing in bed, and cosleeping as needed helped, as well as the knowledge that I was not alone (hence this comment). Everyone has to do what works for them but what worked for us was just accepting that night wakeups were our normal temporarily and letting him STTN when he was ready. #2 is due in May and I have no idea what we will do about sleep but I fully expect not to get a full night’s sleep until at least the following May! Good luck!
I love seeing the love you have for Chase! It is very apparent that you are loving this time and being a mom! If I could tell you that that sleep frustrations magically ended for us after a sleep regression I would, but they didn’t. At almost 11 months old, we still struggle with sleep. I remember my husband saying one night when we were both incredibly frustrated that we always have to remember that we could be without him and that one hit me hard. So, even in the middle of the night, when I have to get up because Cam lost his paci, I remind myself of that. It doesn’t always keep away the tears or frustration, but it helps. Hang in there mama and keep loving that boy!
I don’t have much to say as I am not a mom, but I have to tell you… the way you write about him is beautiful. Makes me excited for my own one day!
Hi Julie! For baby sleep, the book “the sleep easy solution” SAVED MY LIFE. It’s quick and easy to read and after trying everything to get my daughter to sleep, we did this method for 2 nights and she has been sleeping through the night and napping consistently ever since (almost a year later!). I didn’t find out about it until she was 10 months so I can’t attest to how well t works with a 4 month old, but I was wishing I could go back and try earlier once I discovered the magic. Good luck and just remember, as hard as things are in the moment, everything passes!
Hey jules!
It is totally crazy how fast time goes by. Roen just turned one and seems like a toddler! Where did my baby go?!
Something that absolutely saved me was the Ollie swaddle! they are a little pricey but worth every penny! They are willing to work with bloggers in exchange for marketing!? It’s crazy the difference it made!
Sleep methods are totally controversial but with the twins and roe I used baby wise and it worked like a charm. Cliff notes- teach them to self soothe by letting them cry it out.. If they are fed, clean diaper than they should sleep. It’s hard the first few times but stick to it! And of course Stick to a schedule!
I also would breast feed and then bottle feed right before bed, formula digest slower so they usually sleep longer.
That’s just what works for me but it’s ultimately up to what is best for chase and you!
My son is just 2 weeks older than Chase and this posts sounds like you could be writing it about him too! So you are not alone. The sleeping, napping, smiles, just everything sounds exactly like my 4 month old. I have also looked into sleep training. I am struggling with my son’s sleep associations– the swaddle and needing to be bounced or rocked to sleep! Keep us updated on what you try and/or what ends up working for you!
I feel your struggle! With my son we struggled with sleep issues. Setting up a routine was vital for us. Every night we did the same thing and he eventually got into a rhythm. MY NUMBER ONE SAVING GRACE….white noise! A white noise machine in his room and the app on my phone. Good luck ?, he’s adorable.
Choosing a sleep training technique is the hardest decision I’ve made a a parent! I researched the heck out of all the methods and I finally chose a variation of cry it out method. The book The Sleep Easy Method was a great guide. It gives information for all ages birth through five. I actually heard about the book from the blog sweet tooth sweet life! This realy worked for us. Its not going to be ready and there will be crying involved (I definitely cried a few times!) but now my son is 16 months and has been sleeping through the night for quite a while now. It took about a two weeks, but it was worth it. Also, this is probably unconventional but I crawled in the crib with my son for the first week while he fell asleep to show him this huge crib was not a scary place! I think that really calmed his fears. I hope this helps a little! But look at Courtney blog, she gives good advice about sleep training! Also, a heartbeat monitor that plays all night and blackout curtains helped tremendously!
I was given the book Secrets of the Baby Whisperer when my son was a few weeks old. It really help us get him on a routine and he started sleeping through the night around 7-8 weeks. I breifly saw someone else mention it but dream feeds are key to “topping” off his belly so he doesn’t wake hungry during the night. We also used Honest diapers but I had to start using Pampers baby dry at night to prevent leaks since he was sleeping longer stretches. Hang in there mama! 🙂
Moms on Call!
Sleep training is brutal on mom & dad and I pretty much didn’t sleep for the 2-3 weeks where we were trying to drop the middle of the night feeding, but I fully credit the schedules in this book for our son sleeping 10-12 hours at night from the time he was 10 weeks old. He is now 4 months old now and is still sleeping from 7:30pm-6:30/7:30am every night. I do think we were also blessed with a good sleeper and there is no magic pill to encourage good sleeping, however, every mom friend I have recommended this book 🙂 The bonus is there isn’t a ton a reading required in the book to do it, maybe just like 2-3 chapters! It does involve letting the baby “cry it out” in 5 minute increments which is really tough on the mommy heart, but once he started sleeping through the night, we were all much happier 🙂
Good luck!
The dream feed, white noise and a good swaddle worked wonders with my first and had him sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. My second — 8 weeks old — still won’t take a bottle so we have not been able to tap the dream feed thus far. Some nights are better than others. Every baby is different and, when you think you’re finally getting into a good routine, they switch it up. You’re doing a great job mama– enjoy this crazy time as it goes way too fast and before you know it you have a 2 year old who won’t sit still 🙂
Ugh, I feel you on the lack of sleep. I’m on baby number 3 (6 months) and I think a big portion is luck and personality but also routine, routine, routine. I had a perfect sleeper, sleeping all night by 6 weeks, I had an up every 2-3 hours/only napped on my arms until he was 15 months (and when I stopped nursing) and now a good mix. Pretty much on a schedule during the day and some nights sleeps all night but more often up once to eat and back to sleep. After dealing with my second, I reread Babywise (same book I read before my first came). Basically sleep, eat, play, repeat routine during the day. Nurse and then straight to bed at night drowsy but not fully asleep. We also let out babies fuss for 5-10 before rushing in and a lot times they figure out on their own at nap time and during the night. He might also be over the tight swaddle or want his arms free. (If you’re still doing that. Good luck.
Babywise was the absolute best routine for us! It had my daughter sleeping through the night at 8 weeks!http://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Baby-Wise-Giving-Nighttime/dp/1932740139/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1449081787&sr=8-1&keywords=baby+wise
Hi Julie! First of all I would say that before the sleep regression Chase’s sched sounds great! I have found it is not recommended to even try sleep training until 6 mos. Babies just wake up! I breast fed and rocked my baby to sleep and did no sleep training till well after one year and I wouldn’t do anything different. But I had the time and the ability to be tired and sometimes nap during the day also so I wasn’t as concerned about her sleeping through the night.
I would HIGHLY recommend alpha mom.com’s advice smack down. Check through the archives on sleep issues. She has awesome info and points you to so many great resources! Gives you the bullet points of Ferber Method and the no cry sleep book (which I used) outlines how to help you tell if a version of CIO will work for your baby ( does he fuss and calm down or cry and ratchet it up to screaming) ect. Plus you can read it all one handed on your phone -which is key.
She also talks about the 2-3-4 schedule for naps which you can start to implement at 4 mos. I can’t say enough good things about her column. I am still continuously reading her 2 yrs later. Full of common sense no bias advice and options.
Awww… that means that I’ve been following along for ~6 months. #memories 🙂
I actually have two brothers, one with two children and one with four. They were exactly the opposite of one another sleep training wise. One trained their children to live on an exact schedule, primarily because their little girl had night terrors and all doctors said it would help them disperse, which it did! The other one had zero sleep schedule and just let their kids fall asleep whenever they wanted.
There are definitely benefits to both (ex. more alone time for the parents, or more time with the kids when they get home from school), but the trends have absolutely continued as the kids get older. The now teenage girl puts herself to bed around 9pm, even if her 4 year old cousin doesn’t fall asleep until midnight!
But my solution is that each person/family is unique. As long as their family is filled with love, then everything will be okay. 🙂
Hi! I can totally relate to the sleep struggles. I have an 8 week old and it’s definitely been a big adjustment! 🙂 we started sleep training her a couple weeks ago and it has made a HUGE difference in both naps and nights. This website really helped me navigate the sleep training complexities and just provides a ton of helpful information without making you feel crazy 🙂 http://www.babywisemom.com/?m=1
Good luck! (I love your blog!)
Xo
I haven’t read thru other advice but I have a five month old. I am happy to report that she sleeps 12 hours a night, so hang in there! I feel like a major turning point for her was unswaddling for sleep. She was able to find her sweet spot which is on her tummy and she can move about her crib as she pleases. If he wakes up, try not picking him up and feeding him,but patting him back to sleep…. Send in your husband so he doesn’t expect to eat. Be consistent with your routine…. Helps them know what’s happening next! Hang in there…. Sleep regression will pass!
He is way too adorable Julie!! I miss that age so much. My kids are 4 & 7 now – and that’s a whole different game! Both of mine were very different. My daughter would NOT sleep unless she was right next to me. I bought the Baby Delight Snuggle Nest (or one very similar to it) and it worked very well. My son slept in the Fisher-Price Newborn Rock ‘n Play Sleeper like a champ! Love that thing. The only common denominator I found between my kids was that neither one liked being placed flat on their backs in a crib. Obviously this makes it a challenge since babies can’t have all of the fluffy pillows and blankets that we can 🙂 Best of luck to you guys!!
I highly recommend Pam @ Wee Bee Dreaming. She saved my sanity and my daughters horrible sleep. I emailed her when my daughter was about 4.5 months old, taking 4-5 crappy 30 minute naps a day and waking up 3 times a night. She emailed me back Quine suggestions the same day, told me to let her know if I wanted a consult. We decided to hold off a bit as with her suggestions my daughters naps got so much better. Then around 6.5 months old we were back to bad naps. We ended up hiring her. With Pam’s help, but daughter went from a horrible naps to an age appropriate 3 nap day, waking an age appropriate 1-2 times a night for feeds and straight back down. She even saw us through the 3-2 nap transition. My daughter is now 14 months old on 2 naps, and has been sleeping all the way through the night for a few months! I wouldn’t have been able to sanely survive it all without her help. I read so many articles, books and felt so horrible about myself because I could figure my kid out. I tell all of my friends with babies about Pam. She has a Facebook page and a blog. Seriously. Contact her. If only for suggestions right now.
I agree. I love the Wee Bee Dreaming blog posts. Helped me a ton. Also, The Baby Sleep site is another great resource! My baby is 10 months old. It does get better. I feel ya.
He is so adorable! I love his huge smiles!!
The 4 month sleep regression is THE ABSOLUTE worst!! I promise it’s like rock bottom…..at least it was for our daughter. She slept amazing and then at 4 months her sleep went down the tube for about 2-2.5 weeks. Then, all the things we implemented & tried actually began to work. I promise it’s just a phase. There are a few things you can do to help him learn to sleep though—-I loved, loved the book “healthy sleep habits happy child”. It’s LIFE changing!! Hang in there mama, you’ve got this!
Ugh I feel your frustration! Until ours started sleeping/napping well, those were the hardest days/night. Looking back, we really had to help Liam learn how to fall asleep, he would get so cranky and overtired, for many of those early months every two hours he needed some sort of nap. At night either bouncing on an excerice ball while he was in the carrier, or rocking in the rocker until he was in a deep sleep before he went in the crib. Eventually the time got less and less that he needed to be rocked to sleep. We were so desperate to find anything that helped him stay asleep, he was in a incline chair in his crib until 6 months, just didn’t like to sleep flat. Whatever keeps them asleep, trust your instincts!
I read Baby Wise, but honestly have just been doing whatever comes natural to Adeline. She’ll be 6 weeks on Thursday and already sleeping 4-5 hour stretches at night! I think having a consistent “putting down” routine at night is definitely key! Also, she’s currently napping on her boppy lounger! Love that thing!
Chase is adorable, and just a couple weeks older than my Peyton! I’m sorry you’re dealing with sleep regression, hope it passes quickly! My little one hated being swaddled and never slept soundly through the night. Finally we got ourselves a magic merlin sleepsuit and it totally changed her night sleeping. Around 8:30, we bring her up to her nursery, turn on her white noise machine, put her in the sleep suit and give her a bottle. She usually falls asleep in her crib around 9 and sleeps until 8 the next morning! Good luck!
We used Babywise and I highly recommend it! It follows an eat, wake, sleep schedule. My daughter slept though the night by 3 months. For some reason it has a bad rep…I am not sure why. It doesn’t necessarily make you cry it out with your baby and it allows you to feed on demand when necessary, but it encourages a eat, wake, sleep cycle. It was a miracle worker!!!
Also, love reading the updates on baby Chase. Do you plan to do an update on how you are doing? Not necessarily focused on weight loss in numbers but how your feeling, how you feel you’ve bounced back, etc.. Would love to hear!
I second this on Babywise! It had our daughter sleeping through the night at 9 weeks old! I don’t know why it gets a bad rep, either — I think as new parents we make ourselves crazy with guilt but this book really gave me confidence. It’s up to US to teach our children proper sleep behavior in a gentle but routine way. Naps were more of a challenge for us but I just kept at it and tried to relax. I tried to stop checking on my daughter at every stir or coo — they often need the time to resettle in their cribs between sleep cycles before they go back to sleep. I think the key takeaway with Babywise is that for naps, you’ve gotta just keep them in their cribs and try for a 90-minute nap. If Chase is awake but not crying or upset, use that time to keep working or doing what you need to do until he’s been in his cribs for an appropriate amount of nap time. It took awhile for us, but once we worked through the quirky phase, most nights and most naps were great and restored our sanity 🙂 Also, for “crying it out” moments — set a timer. 5 minutes feels like an hour but it’s really just 5 minutes!
I’m so glad you asked for scheduling advice! I’ve been wanting to post a comment about schedules for awhile but didn’t want to offer unsolicited advice. We new moms get enough of that, as it is 😉 Check out a book called Moms on Call. It offers schedules for your baby that are similar to Baby Wise but more detailed. As a new mom, I was glad to have someone tell me “Do this at this time” to take the guessing out of it. Our daughter (now 5 months) started sleeping through the night at 9.5 weeks, and we didn’t have to let her cry it out. She fell into the schedule on her own, and it helped me plan my days, too. Of course, take any schedule with a grain of salt and don’t stress if your day goes differently than what’s in the book. I hope it works for Chase!
I LOVE Moms on Call! They have an app for the iPhone too!
I’m going to look into this! I’ve never heard of it! I have a 4 month old and this might be our blessing! Thanks ladies!
I am another Moms on Call follower. I used it for my first baby, and she slept through the night around 2 months (not consistently until 3 months, though). We just had baby girl #2, and I plan on following a loose version of it this time around (you can’t be as strict when you also have a toddler to deal with!). Good luck! 😉
Hang in there, sweet mama! You’re doing a fantastic job – good sleep will come back to your house soon! My son is 2 and he was sleeping pretty much through the night at 6 weeks old and only hit one major sleep regression. <– yes, we got crazy lucky there. My daughter is almost 6 months old and she STILL wakes up some nights, even though I'm doing the same thing with her that I did with my son. I guess it just goes to show every baby is different. One thing that has helped me tremendously with both my kids (while my son was a great sleeper, he did have colic so for the first 4 months of his life if he wasn't asleep there was an 85% chance he was screaming) is that when I'm up with them at night or bouncing them during a long fussy spell, I try to use it as a time to pray specifically for them. That's the thing about babies – when you want so badly to get something (ANYTHING) done, but you can't because they require both your hands and all your attention, you start to feel anxious at the thought of nothing being accomplished (or at least that's how I feel at times). But I've learned that when my hands are full, I can still pray and I think that's the most powerful thing we can do for our children anyways. So, I pray scripture over them. Pray for their future spouses. Pray God blesses them with great friends. Pray they love Jesus and love others. Whatever God puts on my heart, really. It helps calm me and also make me feel like I'm empowered when I so often feel helpless after bouncing a fussy baby around for what seems like FOREVER! 🙂 Chase is a doll and I can tell by your posts that you're doing a fabulous job with him!
Clearly my emotions are all over the place because your comment filled my eyes with tears. I love this so much. <3 Thank you.
My twins are 8 weeks old and we are using Moms on Call. They are sleeping 6-7 hrs at night right now and take great naps during the day. They go down in their cribs fully awake (for night and naps) and rarely fuss. I think that having a schedule during the day REALLY helps them sleep better at night. Obviously every baby is different and one of my twins tends to sleep better than the other but they both do good and reliably follow the schedule. It is hard work in the beginning but it pays off!
I swear by Moms on Call. It is very specific and works like a charm!
I can’t get over how freaking cute he is!!! We had a lot of the same problems around that age– we had SUPER short naps during the day, lots of time awake at night, trouble getting to sleep, etc. What ended up working for us was doing some sleep training (I didn’t read a book on this, I just did what one of my girlfriends did with her baby. We would check in on him every 10 mins or so after putting him to bed, but wouldn’t pick him up.) And then this website has been the only source I’ve used for baby sleep advice for the past 8 months. I found it EXTREMELY helpful to have a basic idea of what to expect at each age. I don’t know how I even ended up finding this but it’s seriously been like my sleep bible.
http://community.babycenter.com/post/a51116617/sample_sleep_schedules_faq?cpg=1
Good luck!!!
I’m just gonna go out on a limb here and tell you what I did. Feel free to ignore it all if you wish. Early on no matter what the books or other people said I put my firstborn son to sleep on his stomach. The more he slept on his back the more easily he awoke to every noise. Not only that he didn’t sleep well at all. No matter how much he was fed. I made sure his head faced the side instead of downwards and I put a blanket on him around the middle of his back area not close to his face so he wouldn’t suffocate. It was the best decision for all of us. With my second son I started him off on his stomach. No questions. Plus I know this is gonna sound bizarre and it really doesn’t matter but their head shape is more round than flat.
Hang in there Julie. I now have a little guy that’s about 13 months…so I was just where you are at not so long ago. Believe me, I was researching EVERYTHING trying to figure out what is going to make that little boy sleep. I tried lots of different things, and honestly, I don’t think that the whole sleep training thing works. If a baby wants to be up, then darn it, he will be up, so “training” them to sleep just seems absurd. Surely, having a routine I think is best. We tried to stick with the same routine, especially in the evenings. We always gave a large bottle before night night and always made sure a dry diaper was on. Swaddling only worked for us for the first three months, then our little man was able to bust out of them. I feel like that’s what started to wake him up most at that age, was not feeling that swaddle, but once we let him start sleeping without it, he got used to it. He also started to roll over on his tummy in his swaddle, so we ultimately had to give it up. I think he did best sleeping on his tummy. I always put him down on his back, but he was always bound and determined to get on that belly and still is a belly sleeper. If Chase has enough strength to push himself up, you certainly can try and un-swaddle him and put him on his belly to see if that makes a difference. Do you use a fan or any white noise in his room? Our little guy has always had a fan in his room to drown out any noises from the outside.
One of my closest friends with a little baby used this book recommended by Kelly Clarkson and said it has saved her life!! 12 hours sleep by 12 weeks old. Just throwing it into the pile in case you find it useful. Chase is ADORABLE! Love the update. 🙂
http://www.amazon.com/Twelve-Hours-Sleep-Weeks-Step/dp/0525949593
holy cow that kid is so cute, I can hardly stand it!! you’re doing great, mama. congrats on hitting 4 months! two things: I have a baby due in January and we already have 4 out of the 6 items on your 4 month favorites list, so I feel like I’m not doing too bad!
And I know that you have been hit with sleep-reading overload, but the book ” the sleepeasy solution” came highly recommended to me from several people. It’s tagline is “teaching your child to sleep from birth through 5 years..” so even if you find a good methodology now, there might be some helpful tips in there for down the road. I bought it but haven’t attempted to read it yet. I’m too overwhelmed with how I’m going to have a human being come out of my downstairs mixup in 7 short weeks! weeeeeee!
Hang in there momma! We let our son nap in the swing until 6 months. Around 6 months, they become much better nappers and you can get more of a daytime schedule. As far as night time sleep, there is no correct answer. We did CIO at bedtime and would go in to feed him after a certain number of hours if he woke crying during the night. We also ditched the swaddle and used the Magic Merlin sleep suit.
hi Julie. You’re doing great. I swear by Babywise. I think it’s just having a consistent routine and feeding schedule. My little one slept through the night at 9 weeks and has always had great naps. She goes down in her crib fully awake (for night and naps) and rarely fuss. I think that having a schedule during the day REALLY helps sleep better at night. Obviously every baby is different and you do what is best for your family! But I think schedule is SO important. I’m pregnant with twins and fully reread Babywise and will follow it with them too! Hope you can get his sleep a little more consistent. ?
Yes!!! Best parenting book for newborns! Saved my sanity!
Chase is to die for! I absolutely love reading your updates, especially because they touch on the same issues I’m currently dealing with. My daughter Logan just hit the two month mark. She’s been an extremely fussy baby, sometimes crying all day long, so taking naps has definitely been a challenge for her. Some days, like today, she went down for 2 hours in the afternoon and wants to continue sleeping after a quick feeding. No idea what’s going on with that! Most days she wakes up almost immediately after I lay her down. I feel bad for her more than anything because I know once she doesn’t sleep, it’s a HUGE challenge to calm her down.
Logan is currently sleeping 4-5 hour stretches to start the night, then wakes up once or twice more after that before being up for the day. She refuses to sleep flat, so the rock n play has been a huge blessing in our household. She has a very hard time taking a bottle so I have NO idea how much she’s actually eating before bed, but I can’t imagine it’s much. I often wonder if she did take the bottle, could I fill her up enough to sleep longer stretches?
Anyway, I don’t have any sleep advice. All I’ll say is keep doing what you’re doing! You sound like an awesome mom and I’m sure Chase loves and appreciates you as much as you do him. I’ve learned that what works for one mom, won’t work for me so I follow a lot of my own instinct. Sure, Logan isn’t sleeping through the night at 8 weeks old, but we’ve made huge progress from getting up every 1.5-2 hours. And I’ll take that! Good luck with everything!!
Can I Just say that 8 weeks was the hardest so far, hardly no naps and crappy nighttime sleep! It gets better!!!
Hi, Julie. Commenting all the way from Australia. Love your blog. Suggestion to help with sleeping – http://www.midwifecath.com.au – she’s a baby whisperer and has a lot of useful information on her website. She gets lots of good feedback and comes very highly recommended. So if you can handle some Aussie advice she might be worth checking out. Chase is the cutest btw – congrats 🙂
Have you heard of ‘Baby Got Colic’? Its a kind of white noise..they have a 10 minute sample on youtube…just don’t watch the video its super weird. You can buy the full version on ITunes. My daughter doesn’t have colic but I whenever I turn it on she is calm and sleeping within 10 minutes. Hope this helps!
Love how your little guy smile with his whole face!
This isn’t what you want to hear, but it sounds like his sleep is on track for his age. So frustrating, but it sounds like you have good sleep hygiene started. One book that help us immensely was The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer. It’s kind of corny, but really helped me understand what a baby needs to sleep and sleep well. That being said, I only have 1 child and this worked wonders with her. I have another on the way and I’m sure I’ll have to figure something new out then :).
Good luck!!!
Also, we started using white noise pretty early on and that also worked wonders for us!!
Yes! Agreed
This book worked for us too, at around 4 months. I think it’s a much more detailed alternative to Babywise, which I felt had a good overall idea, but no advice on what to do in certain situations. Baby Whisperer (solves your problems) had a lot of detailed advice on how to handle different issues.
Moms on Call and Babywise are great…we use a loose version of these as they both follow the eat/wake/sleep. My little one is just at 3 months and he isn’t totally sleeping through the night but we get a good 6-7 hour stint in there and he is showing signs that this will continue (unless we hit that weird 4 month sleep regression). I went back to work so we are dealing with daycare scheduling and bottle feeding (not all babies latch on to a bottle!) One motto that we go by at our house is “Chill parents, Chill baby”….at those times when it is especially hard, please remember that. I say it to myself and do a stress check and try to relax the parts of my body that are physically tense. (hello shoulders!) I truly believe that our baby can tell when I’m upset or stressed or relaxed..around week 2 or 3 I was having a tough time and I was crying and I could see the empathy in his eyes…no matter what…they ALWAYS know more than you think they know. Also…it is okay to not know what is upsetting him…remind yourself of that as well. Motherhood is an extremely humbling experience and it reminds you everyday that you aren’t perfect and things aren’t always perfect (ie…the laundry isn’t done, bills are unpaid, etc.) but remember you never get this time back so bask in it….wear it like a badge and be proud of yourself because you are the perfect mother for your son. The best thing I do on a daily basis is admit that I don’t know everything…really admit it…then love on my baby as much as I can. OH and I frequently say “This too shall pass” and sometimes I throw in a “The night is darkest, just before the dawn” for good measure…maybe write a few encouraging things like that and post them up in his nursery…you need a daily reminder!
Cannot encourage Preparation for Parenting more!!! We, you & I, had the same due date 8/14, but your baby was early & mine was late, so they’re three wks apart. Our daughter Ramona has been on a sleep, wake, eat schedule since she was 3 weeks old, been sleeping through the night (8-10hrs) since 7 weeks old& I give most of the credit to sleep training her early on. Look it up. Buy a copy. Read it. You will be giving the gift of sleep to your son, & to your family. Nothing better! Best advice I have is to use no sleep aids, pacifier & lovie are great, but not swings, rocking him, or feeding him before naps, put him down groggy but awake, fussing is OK! He’ll learn to fall asleep on his own.
Eat, wake, sleep* schedule
P.f.p is the biblical version of baby wise*
I was speaking with one of my patients who has a 6 month old. He said he and his wife do “dream feeding.” They put their son down around 7-7:30, then, around 10-10:30, they’ll give him about 4-5 oz. of a bottle while he’s still kind of “in a dream” or half-asleep. He said this usually gets him to around 6 am without any waking up!
Dream feeding is the best!!!!
My daughter is 6 months and still doesn’t sleep through the night. I bought Babywise, but don’t have the guts to hear her “cry it out”. I figure she won’t be going to middle school still waking up at night so really it’ll happen when she’s ready. Two Facebook groups that I felt saved my sanity are Dairy Queens and New Mommies Club. I’m always checking out what other moms were experiencing and a lot of it applied to me. There’s a reason babies are so friggin cute. Good luck!!
Gosh, Chase is so beautiful! That smile is contagious! I see what you mean about cuteness being a baby’s defense mechanism lol
Hey Julie! As a newish mom of a 14 month old (wait… How did that happen?!), I feel your pain. My daughter was not a good napper until about 8 months- I definitely had my fair share of tears when those naps only lasted 20 minutes :). She became a better sleeper when she rolled on her stomach around 6 months and we could stop swaddling her.. Up until then we had to swaddle because she has the woooorst Moro reflex that would wake her up immediately. A few things that helped us as the newborn phase passed- the book Healthy Habits, Happy Child (I think that’s what it’s called) and lavender oils on the bottom of her feet. Some of my friends swear by the Merlin Magic Sleepsuit- kind of like a swaddle but not as restrictive. I swear I bought 8 different swaddles because I was so crazy about getting sleep. The Merlin didn’t work for us because Campbell’s arms were still flailing, but people love that thing.
Good luck! It gets better and easier and somehow there are days you can survive on literally no sleep at all— and this time will become a blur :). Cherish every second- slow down time!
BABYWISE. Read it and decide if it fits your personality. It;s hard at first but it really pays off. It;s great for folks who are busy, because baby always gets the same thing any time anywhere. I had my littles sleeping 8 hours at night by 10 weeks.
We have a baby boy who is just a month older than Chase and we have gone through almost the exact same thing. I read A TON of sleep books and just felt confused. I didn’t want to let the baby cry and cry, but I also needed to encourage good habits because I too work from home and was so overwhelmed by lack of sleep. The best source I found (recommended by my pediatrician) was childsleepscience.wordpress.com. The info there will encourage you to have reasonable expectations for what your baby’s sleep should be like (some books are really unrealistic–Gina Ford, The Baby Whisperer, and the No Cry Sleep Solution all offer advice that was frustrating rather than helpful). And you can schedule an individual sleep consult with them to decide on a personalized sleep strategy (it’s a bit expensive but maybe as a Christmas present? Plus who can put a price on sleep, ha). Good luck! And feel free to email me–I have LOTS to say about what sleep strategies worked for us! Our son is now sleeping MUCH better.
You’re doing a great job! Your little guy sounds just like mine was at that age (he’s 16 months now). He was sleeping 4-5 hour stretches, and then the 4 month sleep regression hit with a vengeance! They do start to sleep again, promise! But, whenever babies are growing/learning a new skill they tend to have trouble sleeping because they’re “practicing” in their sleep…If you haven’t heard about the “Wonder Weeks” I recommend checking it out. It shows the general timeline of when babies go through different leaps or development phases, and talks about some behaviors they have (i.e., more clingy at times, cluster feeding, problems sleeping, etc.) It was amazing how accurate it was for our little guy, and helped me realize that those frustrating periods were just temporary and would pass. You’re doing a great job and Chase is adorable!!! You’ll figure out what’s best for you and your little family. 🙂
So I’m sure you’ll get soo much different advice and I do NOT envy you trying to sift through it all. My biggest advice is find a few mamas you really trust and ask them. We are also smack dab in the middle of a sleep regression. The biggest thing that helped me with naps (though today I got two 20 minute naps out of him) was following the same routine we do at bed time, so it may be saying ‘nap nap time’ and then song sound machine (the loudest it can go) and bed ..sometimes he fusses…but if he isn’t crying..I leave him…crying is a different story and each person has their limits..mine is 10 mins..so I wait (set a timer) and if he’s still fussing after 10 mins I go in reassure and try again…it took me a good two weeks to get a solid nap out of him in his crib….I’ve read sleep sense (which most people I know recommend, and my friend used a sleep consultant which seems to be close to sleep sense) and Healthy sleep habits, happy child. They just helped me focus on being okay with him fussing (not crying)..and he learned after a few hard days of trying to self soothe. Once Chase can learn to find his soother ..you’ll be golden..hang in there mama..just know I’m in the same boat. Healthy sleep habits indicates it’s totally normal to wake at least once a night until 9 months..if you don’t want to do that..sleep training (whatever you might choose) will be the root you’ll want to take, but almost all of them require letting the cry to learn to self soothe…….some days we have great days of naps and some days like today we don’t …so just keep trying, consistency is key, whatever you choose you and Ryan stay on the same page and do the exact same thing for each nap and each bedtime…he’ll get it 🙂
Now i’m going to read all the suggestions too so I can try some of them too!