Leftovers from last night’s dinner made lunch a breeze today.
I reheated a bowl of my simple summer chili which I enjoyed with a cup of creamy strawberry banana Greek yogurt on the side.
Nice and easy!
Freaked Out Flier
When Ryan and I began discussing our upcoming trip to Hawaii, one of the very first things that came up was the long flight to Honolulu. You know that guy who laughs in the face of ridiculously high box jumps? Well, he has a fear of flying. And not a small one.
Ryan gets serious anxiety when it comes to hopping on a plane. Getting him on a plane for my friend Leah’s wedding in Chicago last year was a really big deal.
He made it, but it was quite the adventure! I don’t think he took his head off the tray table one time during the entire flight.
I am convinced that Ryan sharing his fear of flying with others has only perpetuated his problem. Once people know that Ryan has a phobia about airplane travel, they instantly share scary stories about their travel experiences or will retell the freaky stories they’ve heard from others.
Ever since Ryan developed this fear (it actually started during college!), he met a guy that survived a plane crash and talked to a pilot who had to land a small plane due to engine failure a couple of months ago. So many scary stories!
Ryan said he doesn’t want to let his fear of flying impact our desire to travel in the future or his ability to travel for business purposes and said that he thinks this trip will be a good thing for him in the end. He’s hoping the flight will prove that he can handle long plane trips. I’ve always felt awful for Ryan about his fear because I relate his anxious feelings to the anxiety I get when I think about enclosed spaces since I am rather claustrophobic.
While enclosed, small or pitch-black spaces have always made me uncomfortable, I realized just how claustrophobic I am when I completely freaked out during the Mission Space ride at Epcot a few years ago. Ever since that experience, I cannot shake the anxiety I feel when I think about small spaces. I hate riding in elevators and avoid doing so whenever possible. When an elevator is crowded, I have to get out otherwise I freak out. (My fear was only further solidified when I rode in a small, overcrowded elevator in a hotel last year that we couldn’t get to open on the bottom floor. I was hyperventilating and practically shot out of the elevator when the doors finally opened.)
I have faith that this flight to Hawaii will be a turning point for Ryan! I know his fear of flying is one shared by many and if any of you out there have tips for how he can make the long flight to Hawaii a bit more comfortable, please feel free to share!
Question of the Afternoon
- Do you or anyone you know have a fear of flying? How you you handle it?
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Oh my gosh, I have a HUGE fear of flying!!! Lately, it’s tamed down a bit, but when there is turbulence, I still get tears in my eyes and white knuckles from holding the seat handles too hard. The thing that has helped me has been telling myself that turbulence is only us going through the CLOUDS and has nothing to do with the actual plane (which is really true). Also, I look at other passengers and 99/100 times they are calm and I figure, if no one else is freaking out, things have got to be OK. 🙂
SO weird, Katie! I do those exact same things. I also sat next to a pilot once and we talked about my anxiety over flying. He said he always tells people to close their eyes and just pretend like you’re in a car experiencing the normal bumps from a long ride. He also mentioned that there is literally nothing in the sky that can cause a plane to go down, so never be scared of storms, wind or rain.
I hope Ryan does okay flying! Just think – the end result will be Hawaii!!
I don’t like flying, but I don’t think that I have a fear of it. Take off and landing makes me nervous but I just try to stay occupied! Or squeeze my huband’s hand 🙂
I just made the 8 hour flight from Dallas to Honolulu. Flying makes me uncomfortable but I found b/c I was on a very large aircraft and the whole ride was smooth I felt safer than normal. I also recommend sleeping during the flight to fight jet lag.
I saw in an earlier post requests for restaurants. You MUST go to Duke’s in Waikiki beach!
i wish he could just sleep! he’s so anxious that sleeping is not really an option… without medical intervention. 🙂
Get him to take dramamine! It will knock him out
I have tried anxiety meds, and dramamine and both seem to make my anxiety worse..and definitely dont drink! Haha I recently had to go on a flight to Chicago from Maine and I HATE flying. The only thing that really helped me (as weird as this sounds..) is that if the plane went down during the flight, my fiance was right next to me.
I freaked out on the same ride at Epcot. I walked right on through!
it was so awful. there were signs warning of motion sickness but nothing about claustrophobia. i seriously freaked.
I like to think about how many successful flights take place all over the world everyday. The statistics really do make any kind of catastrophe seem very unlikely!
I actually know a number of people. People handle it themselves, some better than others! some drink, some take pills, though herbal remedies like kalms. I think I’d recommend trying something like hypnotherapy… It can’t hurt!!
If you can, try to get a red eye flight (sometimes hard with the westward travel) or try not to sleep the night before – sleeping through a flight (some drowsy dramamine helps!) is the best way i get over long flights.
I developed a fear of flying a few years ago as well. There are 2 herbal remedies that have helped me a lot – One is called “Calms Forte”, the other is “Nerve Tonic” and they are both made by a company called Hyland’s. They are natural and very safe and I’ve found them very effective.
Having someone with me always helps too! 🙂 Good luck to Ryan!
interesting! off to investigate! thanks for sharing, georgia.
I just flew to Vancouver for the Lululemon Seawheeze. Hated every minute of it. I hate hate hate flying, and I don’t have any words of wisdom. My only suggestion would be to have something occupy his time. I can’t focus on magazines or reading, so we bring a small DVD player and watch Modern Family or some other show that is a comedy. Goodluck!
I’m a recovered airplane phobe!! I started taking Ativan in order just to fly a few years ago…once I did it so many times and saw that nothing bad happened I realized it was no big deal and don’t need it anymore!!
Hawaii was a long flight, and my Mom has a huge fear of flying, but it ended up being very smooth and she actually fell asleep for most of it 🙂 Tell Ryan not to worry, they make sure the trip is as comfortable as it can be 😀 Plus they have movies!
I was in a horrific flight that had to emergency land hundreds of miles off course when I was in 4th grade and have had a fear of flying since. While it doesn’t stop me from getting on a plane my Mom has refused to go on one since and I do get really nervous before. No words of advice – I still don’t know how to manage my anxiety lol.
ugh I hate being in small spaces as well and do not enjoy elevators, I once got stuck for like a minute on an elevator by myself and completely freaked out! I know a lot of people who are afraid of airplanes and so they will only travel by car or train. Good for Ryan for trying to get over his fear! My aunt is afraid to fly so she pops xanax (sp?). Don’t let him take lunesta though, my grandma gave it to us to sleep on our way to Europe and me and my aunt had out of body experiences!
Poor guy 🙁 I have a slight fear of heights, so that is kinda crappy.
I’d say, just keep reminding him of what awaits in Hawaii–and stay occupied with snacks, movies, and music 🙂
I HATE that ride at Epcot!
I was having major flight and trip anxiety this summer when I took the 15 hour flight to South Korea. I actually went to the doctor and he gave me something that made me feel a loooot better. 🙂 I know that is not for everyone, but it is something to consider for a long trip.
I don’t love flying but I don’t get too much anxiety over it and I am one of those people with a flying “horror” story!
Coming back from Vegas our plane made an awful noise(engine backfired) and the cabin started filling up with smoke. It was scary but the pilots remained super calm which kept the passengers calm and obviously we landed safely. I like to think that I am in the clear now when flying since the odds of your plane catching on fire twice are pretty rare, lol!!
I know this might not be overly helpful but he could always try taking some sleeping pills before getting on the flight (or have a few drinks in the airport bar 😉 ). I’m sure the anxiety makes it impossible for him to sleep while in the air, but maybe something like Tylenol PM would be enough to take the edge off and allow him to sleep.
Also, I think I read somewhere that you’re more likely to have a car accident on the way to the airport than to actually be involved in a plane crash. That’s not really all that comforting but hey, it does mean that your chance of being involved in a plane crash are very, very slim. 🙂
I remind myself of that every time I fly, haha. The chances are like 1 in a million something would actually happen. Ah, but I still getting the willies thinking about it!!
Haha I’m glad someone else said Tylenol PM too…maybe drugging yourself isn’t the best solution, but it sure works for me!
I also don’t know if you could ask to pilot to announce in advance when there will be turbulence – when pilots do that it always makes me feel better because then you know that whatever you’re flying through was anticipated and not some unexpected problem.
Tylenol PM is one of my favorites. 🙂 Benedryl I always need a day to recover.
I think Allure has something about getting over flying in this month’s magazine. Since, you know, I am SURE Ryan’s an avid reader of it… one of the things they said was to make sure you don’t mention it to your fellow flyers because inevitably you’ll hear awful, awful stories.
Which also reminds me of the scene in Bridesmaids….
I used to have a very bad fear of flying, but with more flights under my belt I have gotten a bit better. I had a flight to Vegas that encountered some storms over the plains and dropped ~50 feet suddenly, causing everyone’s beverages to hit the ceiling, people scream, etc. The flight attendants had to sit for nearly the whole flight— and that scared me most of all! Normally when there is a little turbulence I can tell myself, “well the flight attendant is still pushing that dang cart around, so it must be ok!”
I used to take ativan for anxiety during long flights, but now I just have a beer at the airport before I go 🙂
Hawaii is so incredibly beautiful – you will have such a great time!
I have pretty severe flight anxiety, but have made several loong trips (east coast US to Thailand, Hawaii, etc). For me, thinking of all the negative experiences I have either heard or seen on the news makes the anxiety so much worse. I once watched a few videos from a site such as this one: http://www.fearofflyinghelp.com/ that really did help. As corny as they are, they explain why things like turbulence happen and this helps in the same way that the negative stories hurt.
If worse comes to worst (and he is open to it) a prescription for a small dose of Xanax can be a real life saver – and open you up to much more world travel!
I have a friend who is terrified of flying (it is absolutely a phobia for him) but he has to fly a lot for various reasons. He told us the only thing that helps is to learn as much as you can about how planes work and what is actually happening when you feel those bumps in the ride etc. He recommended a book but I can’t remember the title. I’m sure there are many out there. Good luck! I would say my worst fear is claustrophobia, but I’m fairly lucky I don’t have it too bad. I don’t love heights either but I can deal. If he’s really bad, talk to a doctor about anxiety meds. It helps some people to just know they have meds, even if they don’t have to use them. I don’t want to scare you, but it is a really long flight, so looking into these things ASAP is a good idea. Good luck to you both!
i had serious anxiety on mission space too!!!
Has Ryan tried a medication for flying? That’s the only way I can fly! I highly recommend it, makes it so much easier and stress-free.
My mom has a fear of flying. She talked to her doctor who gave her a prescription that she takes to calm her nerves. I have no idea what the medication is but I know it really helps her.
I am an extremely scared flier as well! I have flown a lot my whole life but only recently it really became a problem. This summer I flew to Poland and was antsy the entire time. Sleeping would have helped but I was far too nervous! I had an awful habit of reading plane stories online which only made things worse….so definitely don’t do that! Just think of the THOUSANDS of different flights happening each day and how nothing bad ever happens. In fact the flight you take to Hawaii will probably have made that trip fine at least a few times that day alone. even extreme turbulence is normal, in fact pilots laugh at the fact that passengers get scared- it’s that normal! Just things to think about. I feel for ryan, I am the same way and I wish there was a foolproof quick fix! But nothing bad will happen, thousands of planes are flying every day with no issues! And if that doesn’t help, strong medication never hurt 😉
I fly frequently (I used to be on a plane once or twice a month, torture) and I hate enclosed spaces and being super close to strangers.
1. I bring magazines, books, video games, music, etc…anything that will make the experience slightly more enjoyable. Podcasts and audiobooks might also help.
2. I talked to several of my doctors and decided on medication for those types of situations. Not my first choice but I’d rather have something help my anxiety than have a panic attack.
I get super nervous flying too but love to travel so I have to grin and bear it. I talked to my doc and she prescribed a low dose anti-anxiety medicine to take before I board the plane. It’s helped a lot to “take the edge off.” definitely not something that works for everyone, but may be worth it for him to talk to his doc about it. I also do things to distract myself during takeoff and turbulence (my most anxious moments) like crossword puzzles and sudoku. I was told that since they’re more “active” activities than reading or watching a movie because they require you to think, it helps you forget about the turbulence, and it’s definitely true!
Just a couple tips that have helped me get over my fear 🙂 Have an amazing time in Hawaii! I was in Kona twice this year and loved it!
I took a 15 hour flight from Dulles in dc to Korea. Hardly felt a thing because the plane was so big. Also helps to sit away from the window.
It’s always helpful to remember that you’re actually safer in the air than you are on the ground! In the air, everyone has been through security and the pilots are amazing. On the ground, you’re constantly at risk. So, if you’re calm out in public, you should be calm on a plane 😀
I had a great first experience flying to Disney World when I was eleven, only to be freaked out by and get sick from Turbulence. Flying made me so nervous after that. The next time I flew was back to Florida for my cousin’s wedding when I was eighteen. Since then, I’ve gotten over my fear, for the most part, but I spend a lot of time praying to God that He calms my anxiety for a good week before the flight. Now the only part that freaks me out is when we go up and the inertia pushes you back into your seat. After that, I’m fine.
Oh, and that Mission to Mars ride made me so sick to my stomach, but my grandpa was making fun of me. I think for me it was a combo of motion sickness AND claustrophobia! Gak!
I flew in ’08 for the first time after an irrational fear of flying. Now it’s…whatever…no big deal. I just keep reminding myself that more people are killed each year by donkeys than by plane crashes 😉 I get horrible motion sickness so I make sure to take Dramamine every 3.5 hours like clockwork. I would definitely look into the natural remedies the others have mentioned as well. Good luck, Ryan!
I am a TERRIBLE flier. I feel anxious just thinking about it. I am also not a fan of long car rides so I choose to fly to just get it over with. Anyway, I take Dramamine and try to sleep the whole way if possible… and if that doesn’t work then I order a drink (or two) 😉
I’m biased since I’m a pharmacologist-but, a small dose of an anxiolytic would help Ryan a lot. You can go to a doc in the box or his regular physician and get something to calm his nerves and help him rest. Psychologically it might be beneficial too because he will remember how relaxed he felt on the flight and NOT how anxious, so it could make flying (sans meds) a breeze from here on out.
I am terrified of all things plane related! I’ve only flown once and I cried the whole time. Every time I hear a plane flying overhead, which I swear I can hear them all, I am convinced it is going to crash into wherever I am at that moment and I start to have panic attacks
I’ve never been to Hawaii but I know I will get there one day! Ya’ll are so lucky and I can’t wait to see the pictures when you get back!
My grandmother had an INTENSE fear of flying and a few years after it developed, she went to a class about getting over a fear of flying. She says that helps, but she also drinks one or two alcoholic beverages before she flies anywhere, so I would definitely recommend that, no matter what time the flight is. It ALWAYS helps her relax and takes the edge off just a little. I would also tell him to take his mindset somewhere else very specific, like the beautiful beaches ya’ll will see and how much fun ya’ll will have. You could help with that one too 🙂
Sometimes a little in-flight cocktail can really help. I had a friend who was terrified of flying and she flew with me to Spain and after a few adult beverages, she felt fine. It gave her something to concentrate on during the beginning of the flight and helped keep her calm during the remainder of the flight.
Maybe he can try taking melatonin pills? I’ve heard they work for some and may help him relax and be able to sleep for a little while. Also, pull the shade down and put headphones on – anything to forget you’re in the air.
I didn’t *think* I was claustrophobic until I went on Mission Space, ha! I ended up having to close my eyes for the ride and RAN out of there the second the door opened, haha!
I didn’t read all the other comments so I am sorry if this suggestion is a repeat.
My mom’s family is all in Italy so we make frequent trips there to visit. I have no fear of flying by I get so excited that I disrupt people around me. About 15 years ago my mom was enlightened by a nurse friend of something called Rescue Remedy. It’s all natural and helps clam stresses or anxieties. In my case it calmed my excitement and helped me sleep. A few drops might go a long way for Ryan.
http://www.nelsonsnaturalworld.com/en-us/us/our-brands/rescue-remedy/
You can find it at most health food stores.
I have the WORST anxiety over flying, I can’t even sleep the night before I have a flight. My husband and I went to Hawaii last November and I took l-theanine before the flight and it really helped.
http://www.livestrong.com/article/249742-l-theanine-for-anxiety/
I made the same flight two summers ago, by myself, with anxiety of flying. I agree with some of the previous posts, the thing that really calms me down is seeing how calm or none-commotive everyone else is. That makes me feel at ease. The best thing for you to do, Julie, is to hold his hand, talk to him about random things to distract his mind, or better yet make him the one to talk. I bring cross word puzzles or sudoku, lots of books instead of just music because my head wanders if I’m not focused. The lates thing I found to work was having a glass of wine in the airport before takeoff. Just enough to take the edge off.
And yes, flying over Hawaii is something to look forward to. The scenery is gorgeous!
I used to be a great flier, but a few years ago, I developed horrible flight anxiety. The best thing that has helped me is to envision a plane like it’s going down a street. We drove over potholes and hit bumps in the road all the time and don’t blink – I try to envision the sky with the same holes and bumps. Also, distractions help. Talk to him about things you enjoy (I know that’s tough for nine hours, but it’s worth a shot), download games for your ipod/ipad if you have one and definitely do whatever you can to make him feel comfortable and safe (even if that means taking the middle seat). Lastly, hold his hand (sounds silly, totally helps) and let him squeeze it during takeoff/landing if those parts are especially tough.
Those things really helped for me when we flew to Curacao for our honeymoon last year! Good luck!!
I get nervous to fly, but we made a super long flight over to Taiwan last year. I have to say that the longer flights some how seem easier since the aircraft is bigger, or maybe there is more time to relax. Having a drink always relaxes me, plus its kind of fun when you are going on a vacation anyways to splurge! Maybe the flight will have the movies screens on the back on the seats which is a great distraction! I also always try to think logically when there is turbulence and relate it to road bumps NBD, just a bump in the air. I also watch the flight attendants who jump up right away and begin moving and I figure if anything were wrong they would not be acting so casual.
Enjoy your vacation!!
Its not the actual flying, its the people that get to me. Keep your shoes on while on the plane, cover your mouth when you sneeze, don’t pick your nose, don’t bring a curry filled entree onboard, etc etc. I’ve found people lose all control of class in airports. Hygiene goes out the window. I’d rather have a turbulent flight than a stinky who ate a burrito for lunch sitting right next to me!
this made me laugh out loud!!!
Yes! I have a fear of the crazy I might have to sit by!
Fear of tight places and fear of flying are not fun! I’ve been known to climb 12 flights of stairs to avoid a crowded elevator. I have to fly twice a month for work, and I really do not enjoy it! I cope by praying. Max Lucado’s book, “Fearless”, has also been helpful.
Flying doesn’t bother me too much. Thank goodness because I fly about once a month for work. However, my sister cries during takeoff every time. Somehow she made it to Korea and Europe. I’ve heard medications can help. My sister usually gets a drink to settle down a bit. Hopefully you can have a good flying experience!
I am the same way about flying. Honestly, I take a xanax or something before hand so I don’t have a panic attack. Once I get on the plane and start flying, I’m ok. I think it’s that initial fear. Maybe a drink before the flight? Also, looking up how safe planes are is also reassuring. It’s safer then driving a car!
My boyfriend has a huge fear of flying. I think the only reason he gets on a plane is because he knows how important it is to me that we travel every once in a while. He is just like Ryan and he cannot sleep on the flight, because the anxiety is too much. Takeoff and landing are the worst! As long as he is reading a book for the rest of the flight he’s OK, but once the landing process starts he freaks. Good Luck!
My mom cannot fly without the help of medication. She takes some kind of anti-anxiety medicine that essentially puts her to sleep. I’m not sure what it’s called exactly, but I don’t know if you want to go that route anyway.
The only other thing that also has seemed to help her a bit is having a beer on the flight!
I had a complete freak out that same same Epcot ride the year it opened! Before that, I hadn’t realized that I didn’t like enclosed spaces. It was pretty awful.
horrible! so glad i’m not the only one who freaked. 🙂
Our flights to and from HNL (out of Dallas) were pretty uneventful. The worst part was that we were towards the back of the plane, and they ran out of food boxes that they were selling. My advice would be to make sure that you have some snacks packed.
I’ve lived in Hawaii for about 2 years now, so I’ve had to fly back and forth to the mainland several times. I hate flying so much. I’ve noticed I do better when I’m flying by myself. Of course, it helps to look around and see everyone else looking normal. I always put my head down/cover it during takeoff and it helps me a lot. And I can’t deny the fact that having a couple beers at the airport before my flight helps a ton. Sometimes I take Dramamine but I can never fall asleep. I feel more relaxed, though. Oh yea, amd watching movies. I always download a few on my iPad. Also, if you’re flying Hawaiian airlines they have the inflight movies and I always feel way more comfortable on Hawaiian airlines flights. Good luck!