Leftovers from last night’s dinner made lunch a breeze today.
I reheated a bowl of my simple summer chili which I enjoyed with a cup of creamy strawberry banana Greek yogurt on the side.
Nice and easy!
Freaked Out Flier
When Ryan and I began discussing our upcoming trip to Hawaii, one of the very first things that came up was the long flight to Honolulu. You know that guy who laughs in the face of ridiculously high box jumps? Well, he has a fear of flying. And not a small one.
Ryan gets serious anxiety when it comes to hopping on a plane. Getting him on a plane for my friend Leah’s wedding in Chicago last year was a really big deal.
He made it, but it was quite the adventure! I don’t think he took his head off the tray table one time during the entire flight.
I am convinced that Ryan sharing his fear of flying with others has only perpetuated his problem. Once people know that Ryan has a phobia about airplane travel, they instantly share scary stories about their travel experiences or will retell the freaky stories they’ve heard from others.
Ever since Ryan developed this fear (it actually started during college!), he met a guy that survived a plane crash and talked to a pilot who had to land a small plane due to engine failure a couple of months ago. So many scary stories!
Ryan said he doesn’t want to let his fear of flying impact our desire to travel in the future or his ability to travel for business purposes and said that he thinks this trip will be a good thing for him in the end. He’s hoping the flight will prove that he can handle long plane trips. I’ve always felt awful for Ryan about his fear because I relate his anxious feelings to the anxiety I get when I think about enclosed spaces since I am rather claustrophobic.
While enclosed, small or pitch-black spaces have always made me uncomfortable, I realized just how claustrophobic I am when I completely freaked out during the Mission Space ride at Epcot a few years ago. Ever since that experience, I cannot shake the anxiety I feel when I think about small spaces. I hate riding in elevators and avoid doing so whenever possible. When an elevator is crowded, I have to get out otherwise I freak out. (My fear was only further solidified when I rode in a small, overcrowded elevator in a hotel last year that we couldn’t get to open on the bottom floor. I was hyperventilating and practically shot out of the elevator when the doors finally opened.)
I have faith that this flight to Hawaii will be a turning point for Ryan! I know his fear of flying is one shared by many and if any of you out there have tips for how he can make the long flight to Hawaii a bit more comfortable, please feel free to share!
Question of the Afternoon
- Do you or anyone you know have a fear of flying? How you you handle it?
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I’m not necessarily afraid of flying as much as I am of heights. I can hardly look out of a second floor window. It’s pathetic. When I travel, I bring a portable DVD player, pop in some dramamine and call it good! Hopefully while watching a movie or TV show, I’ll doze off thanks to the dramamine and sleep through my flight. I hope your trip goes well. That is a long flight, indeed, but soooo worth it once you’re there!
I’m excited for your trip to hawaii! Please promise you’ll do a recap! I really want to go to hawaii for my honeymoon but my fiance isn’t convinced, maybe your recaps will change his point of view?
i definitely will be! since i am going as part of a press trip, i’m expected to document the trip! 🙂
I get SO nervous when I fly! Hubs and I flew to Hawaii, and obviously…it is NOT a short trip. I had a physical a few days prior to leaving and mentioned my fear to my primary doc. She wrote me a prescription for two TINY doses of Ativan (0.25 mg, I think, for each way), and they helped me so much. I don’t like taking medication, but this was one time that I was glad to have it!
Maybe you’ll get Direct TV or free movies on board if you fly United Airlines. I used to work in their Marketing dept. for 4 years and got free flight benefits. Paying a few extra bucks for extra legroom in Coach may be worth it too since it’s such a long flight.
Your man is not alone! I developed an extreme fear of flying several years back. I’ve come a long way with conquering my fear, but will probably always be a little uncomfortable when hitting bumps in the air. My husband & I live away from our families & friends, so we are in the air a lot. We also lived in Beijing for a year & traveled around Asia while we were there. In the beginning, I kept a journal on my flights & noted what made me uncomfortable. Whenever similar situations surfaced, I could think back & know not to be alarmed. My husband ordered me some books on conquering my fear & understanding the process of flying. Talking with people who fly a lot helped (which he did). Everyone will tell you flying is safer than driving, but flying commercial in the US is super safe. The longer the flight, the bigger the plane & bigger planes are always a smoother flight. A good book or movie & a glass of wine may help calm the nerves. Best of luck & happy flying!!
Oh, I can definetly relate I’ve always had troubles flying. Two summers ago I took a 10hr flight, thank God there was hardly any turbulence. For me having someone I know and trust sitting beside me on the flight makes it x1000 better. Also bringing my own things so that I am comfortable like a blanket, pillow and snacks.Also lots of deep breathing and prayer!
Ah! I totally freaked out in the Epcot ride. It felt like it took forever for it to start. Couldn’t breathe, had to close my eyes and pretend it was starting soon! Yuck, i feel trapped just remembering it.
My husband is a commercial airline pilot and I used to be a flight attendant. Whenever I dealt with fearful passengers I would tell them to watch me throughout the flight and if I looked worried, then they could be worried too…otherwise to just relax. Easier said than done, I know. It also encouraged me to read the stat that you have a one in 7 million chance of being in a plane crash in your lifetime.
I’ve been told by people with fears of flying that they went up in a small plane with a pilot and had the pilot explain everything they were doing during the flight and that it helped them a lot. Kind of looking your fear right in the face!
While I don’t love flying, I’ve found ways to calm myself down if I begin to feel anxious. My little airport routine:
1) Take two dramamine approx 1 hr before the flight. It helps me to know that if I’m going to be stuck on a big moving object for quite a few hours, I’ve prepared my stomach.
2) Ginger-ale as your flight drink of choice. While others recommend drinks (and believe me, on firm ground, I’m all about that option), I don’t like to combine liquor+high altitude+constant motion+anxiety. That equation might involve the use of a certain “bag” that can be found in the seat pocket in front of me. No thanks 🙂 The ginger will help calm his stomach.
3) Keep the overhead air vent on full blast the entire flight. The cool air will help keep him calm. Nothing worse than the “flight sweats” 🙂
4) During turbulence, find a focal point and focus on it. If the plane starts to get bumpy, the last thing you want to do is look around and see if anyone else is nervous (because chances are, there will be someone else like him and it will only confirm his fears). The no smoking sign or seat belt sign is a good way to let yourself focus on one object, while breathing calmly and letting the air from above cool you.
5) Take advantage of the free movies/tv shows. You’ll be surprised how quickly your mind can forget you’re on a plane when you have a new movie to watch. If it’s too hard to focus, bring a book on tape or Ipod. Play music that you know calms you down and/or makes you excited about the upcoming trip (i.e. Blue Hawaii, Somewhere Over the Rainbow, etc). Again, it sounds cheesy, but it’s all mind over matter, so anything he can do to convince his mind he’s in a relaxed environment is good.
I went to Oahu with my fiance (now husband) last year and loved it! Make sure and snorkel Haunama Bay & kayak at Kailua Beach Park…beautiful! I’d skip the Dole plantation, we were really disappointed at the activities and price. Diamond Head hike is also a must-do 🙂 You’ll have a great time…the weather is beautiful there this time of year!
I have several friends whose doctors have given them a prescription for anxiety meds just to take for the flight. I think it might just make them sleep through the whole thing though!
I’ve been flying a lot since I was little so I really never developed a fear of it! I do, however, have an irrational fear of open water… okay all water. I used to be scared there was some creature in swimming pools that I couldn’t see. Again, irrational…
Just have the doc prescribe him some xanax for the flight, hhaha!
In all seriousness though, I used to also have an EXTREME fear of flying. I remember getting cold sweats and actually having trouble breathing on takeoffs. I actually believed I was hearing “engine failure” noises that no one else was hearing… This was when I was about 12-14 but it was still real, and scary for me. I eventually did get over it but there was definitely a time when I would just take a sleeping pill or two and sleep through the whole ‘terror’. You should actually have him talk to his doctor, because it’s not uncommon to be prescribed anti-anxiety med for things like plane rides.
ps- when are you going to hawaii? so fun!
we’ll be there on sunday!
My boyfriend is terrified of flying too! He missed out on our family trip to Italy this summer because of it- so major props to Ryan for not letting his anxieties hold him back! I agree that facing the fear of a long flight will help in the long run, just couldn’t convince my boyfriend! He did come with us on a short flight this month, his face when he realized it was a tiny plane with only 3 seats across was priceless, but he took it like a champ (and with a gin and tonic hah)
I’m sure someone already said this but I didn’t read through all of the comments. Benadryl! I always take it before a plane ride. I pass out within seconds.
Please suggest to him that he get a couple of valiums. It’ll help tremendously, and he won’t be overly tired, nervous, etc… It just helps take the edge off. Traveling is such a great experience, and from someone who knows travel anxiety, I’ve been able to enjoy so much more than I ever would have before.
Deep concentrated breathing also helps SO much. If he catches his symptoms early enough, and he starts deep breathing, then he’ll focus on staying calm.
pray pray pray! And read your bible along the way. That always helps me. I just got back from Hawaii 3 weeks ago. My flights were the smoothest I’ve ever been on and I fly pretty frequently. I give all my anxiety to God and trust that he’ll take care of me. =) Have fun! I can’t wait to hear about your adventures. This summer I went to Maui, but I also went to Wakiki about 11 years ago. My favorite things we did were hiking the volcano, visiting Pearl Harbor, visiting the Dole plantation (mmmm smoothies!), and snorkeling in Hananama (sp?) bay. Oh and I also Kayaked, but got a little sea sick from it b/c it was so hot. And we went to a luau! It was so much fun.
My mother has an intense fear of flying and has to depend on a prescription from the doctor to get through it. Another friend of mine brings something to squeeze during the flight (like one of those stress balls) and does that when she gets worried. It seems to work really well for her.
I just flew Albuquerque to Hanoi, Vietnam! I used to have a big fear of flying, but as a flew more and more there was never an issue so I started accepting if I wanting to travel, I’d have to get over it. I still don’t love flying by any means, but the on the large aircrafts you don’t feel a thing which makes it better! Good luck!
I don’t know anyone who is afraid of flying ….maybe because my family grew up flying, I’ve been going since I was 2! My boyfriend hasn’t flown much, but he’s not afraid of it.
I developed a fear of flying in the past few years as well put of nowhere. I used to fly all the time when I was younger without issue but once I grew up I think I realized how strange the concept is, just 200 flying in a little machine. One thing my dad used to tell me is that when there’s turbulence and little bumps, it’s normal! He would compare it to driving in a car, on the road there’s lots of bumps and potholes which is normal… The air has those too so it’s only natural to happen. It helps a bit, but mostly i try and listen to loud music and close my eyes. (Worship music honestly helps for me… )
I’ve been flying my entire life since my dad works for Delta..I’m still not 100% anxiety-free about it though. I hope the trip goes well for your husband!
I also hate the Mission Space ride at Epcot..I rode it once and won’t ever go on it again. That feeling of “blast off” combined with the small space and darkness really freaked me out!
I say you slip him an Ambien before take off. 😉
Ok SO I am a flight attendant and also a purebred airline brat (mom has been a flight attendant for 33 years and dad has been a pilot for 34). Together we have 70 years of flying and NO crazy scary stories here! (altough i may just have a different definition of whats scary at this point). I do get crazy carsick after driving just a few miles because we always flew and never took road trips growing up lol.
I think the best thing to do may just be to pop a Xanax (seems to be te most popular haha, I also recommend valerian which is the herb? Valium is made of, but safer) Or just let the flight attendant know. I always give them wine and check to make sure they’re ok the whole flight… And they always seem so much calmer halfway through. One lady I helped was so grateful she gave me hercard for the future (divorce attorney.. I’m 25 ahha).
The passengers are much worse and crazier than any emergency and we have to go through SERIOUS training in order to pass. We are literally trained for anything and since you have 2 long flights, the pilots are all extremely experienced most of our pilots have been doing this for 20-40 years! Let me know if you need anything/have questions! ..or just want some free drink coupons, those may be better than any drug;)
Flying never bothered me before I have children. Now, if I fly alone, I have to take xanax to get through it. It really freaks me out and gives me the worst anxiety. I would rather just avoid the anxiety and take the meds.
My husband went to Hawaii with his uncle a few years before we met. They flew from St. Louis to Atlanta, then Atlanta to LAX, LAX to Honolulu Airport, and finally had to take a small plane to the hotel (it was on a different island). The whole trip was almost 3 days including a layover. He said he was awake for the entire 3 days because he was so nervous! The only time I’ve flown was from St. Louis to Dallas (about 90 minutes in the air) and I LOVED it! I even made my husband switch me seats so I could sit by the window and look at the landscape below…so pretty! I love to fly and would love to some time in the future but I don’t know if I can convince my hubby.
I’m not an anxious traveler at all, but last summer I took my nephew on a train trip and was terrified. I was afraid that something would happen and I wouldn’t know how to take care of my nephew. I googled ‘how to survive a train wreck’ and it helped me tremendously. As others have mentioned, the chances of something happening are incredibly slim, but for me, knowing what to do in an emergency calmed a lot of my fears.
I personally would not drink or take anything on a plane because if something did happen, I’d want to be able to make calm, rational decisions. Also, I never wear heels (they can puncture the inflatable slide). And lastly, I’ve read that seats over the wings are the safest.
I hope you have a safe and FUN trip!!
I had absolutely zero flight anxiety until a couple of years ago, when I was visiting my boyfriend in NC. My plane almost collided with another plane, and I remember thinking to myself “Oh. So this is how I’m going to die.” It was absolutely awful, and since then, I’ve developed more than my fair share of anxiety during any flights, long or short!
My mom is a nervous flier. I’m the complete opposite, but my longest flight has only been five hours and I had a plane change halfway through. As long as I have a book and music, I’m good to go. I didn’t start flying until after 9/11 and even then, it didn’t bother me.
I can totally relate to Ryan’s fear, totally. Best advice to offer is to get a small prescription for either vicodin or xanex. It will totally help take the edge off:)
Another vote for Dramamine here. It has to be ORIGINAL formula, though – the non-drowsy does not work, in my experience. I’ve often said to my friends that the makers of Dramamine should really sponser me to travel around the world and promote its use — I love it THAT much, ha! I would not be able to travel by plane, train or automobile without it! My primary problem is motion sickness, but when I was 21, I flew from NY to CA, after having not flown in 10 years, & I had (what I think was) a panic attack on the airplane because I was so anxious. I could not look out the windows, my face and hands got hot and sweaty and I had to put my head between my knees for a long time. I tried two original strength Dramamine on the way home & have never looked back! Good luck to your husband!
Aloha! My family and I moved from Boston to Oahu last summer. One thing that helped me was to focus on watching the movies or tv shows that were played almost the whole time. Just focusing on anything other than the fact I was on a plane helped, like snacks, magazines, and games with my kids. Have a great vacation!
I don’t know of this is helpful since most such fears are irrational (like my extreme fear of snakes even though the only snakes in my area are harmless garden snakes). Thinking rationally, however, I’m an engineer and I work on designing the flight systems of commercial aircraft – commercial aircraft have a ridiculous amount of safety mechanisms, backups, and the types of hoops we have to jump through to guarantee the safety of a commercial aircraft is unbelievable. I read somewhere that planes are the second safest mode of transportation, with the first being escalators 🙂 Cars are waaaaaaay scarier.
I’m way more scared of driving than flying.
The last plane ride I took the girl next to me was terrified. So i tried to make her feel better by just distracting her. Asking her a million questions and telling her a million stories. Seriously she knows more about weird stuff my siblings and I did when we were little than even my husband!! After the flight she thanked me and told me that it had made the flight much less scary for her…so I would say the distraction method is worth a shot! And if he is scared of landing (I used to be) my mom would have us clap as the wheels touched down, and try get it at the exact moment. It turned it into a challenge and made it less scary 🙂
I get nervous flying and in crowded elevators (if there are more than 6 people I will take the stairs!) While you can avoid elevators to some extent, you can’t avoid flying, especially if you want to go to Oahu! While I usually don’t even like to take advil for headaches, I like Valium (or Nyquil) for long flights. Wake me when we get there is my mind set! If that’s not a comfortable option, I highly recommend a great book, movie, word puzzle, or my personal favorite; celebrity magazines! Nothing bad can ever happen if your lap is covered with People, Us Weekly and In Touch! PS – I have been to Oahu twice and you will love it! Consider taking a surfing or paddle board class and then stop at Duke’s for a Lava Flow! Aloha!
I rather enjoy flying now. But the first time I ever flew I was very sick and threw up when we landed. I was so embarrassed. I’m the kind of girl who won’t even belch in public and there I was sitting next to people I didn’t even know vomiting into a small paper bag. Terrible. Oh and did I mention it was my honeymoon? Yea. It was. Talk about romantic. Not to mention attractive…..
But the views when you are flying are amazing! I thought I would be too scared to stare out the window, but once I saw it I couldn’t help myself! Beautiful! =)
I hate flying and used to avoid plane travel whenever possible. After one freak out on a plane there was a good five years where I just couldn’t fly, but now I fly several times a year (long-haul, New York to London). The best advice I can give is to pinpoint which part of the flight you hate and work on figuring out why you hate it and how you can cope. Personally, I hate take off and have to close my eyes during it. Deep breathing is very helpful as is sleeping (I realize sleeping can be difficult, but the more you practice the better you get, right?!).
Another thing, and this sounds fairly obvious, simply accepting the fact that you hate flying is helpful. I used to wish and wish that I didn’t hate take off, but I really do and that’s okay. It’s a process.
Good luck to him! Fear of flying isn’t fun, but it seems super common. I hope he can work through the fear and travel far. 🙂
For Ryan: AMBIEN!!!!!!
I just went to HLS with my friend Chelsea and I had NO IDEA she was scared to fly! I held her hand haha 🙂
Hi, I wanted to comment and add to something said earlier. I’m a commercial airline pilot, but previously I was a flight instructor that taught new students how to fly small airplanes. I had one teacher visit out airport with a group of students. She was was terrified of flying but somehow we convinced her to take a short ‘discovery flight.’ All her middle school students had taken a flight already, around 20-30 min long, at a maximum altitude of about 2500 feet in the air. I told her at any time if she was scared or uncomfortable, I would go back to the airport and land immediately. She was extremely brave and allowed me to take her in our small, 2 seat plane (a Diamand Eclipse) for a short flight. She made it through the whole flight and afterwards said it was so much better than a commercial flight because she could see exactly what I was doing with the controls, could see the instruments I was using, and could hear me talking on the radios to air traffic control. I even gave her the opportunity to fly the plane for a while – this is absolutely legal and we as flight instructors are trained to do this. I saw her months later and she said her fear of flying was much better, and she went on a Southwest flight with no problems, when before she had crippling anxiety. I know this may sound extreme, but it could possibly be helpful….just wanted to throw it out there. I fly for a living, and I’m always sad to hear when people are scared of it. I wish I could show everyone what we do as pilots and how normal/routine it is for us.
First – Hawaii? Jealous!
I’ve never had any problems with flying, but my sister does. Her fear came on later in life, but she will.not.fly. She even passed on a trip to Yellowstone and the Tetons because she wouldn’t fly. I hope she conquers it someday. Good luck to Ryan with that flight, it’ll be worth it!
My mom has a huge fear of flying and uses Dramamine. But I am commenting to say that she flew to Hawaii from upstate NY. And does not regret it, so I have faith he will be able to do it.
i’m from hawaii :).. all the beaches are a must.. hike up makapu’u lighthouse.. the view at the end is absolutely AMAZING! i moved to texas and the 9 hours flight was horrible.. it’s the take off and the landing that scares me (all thanks to final destination).. not looking out the window helps me.. but you guys should look out the window when you’re about to land.. they swoop around the island so you get a beautiful view of everything.. have fun! i sure miss the people and the weather
I have a HUGE fear of flying and it also worsened in college. I have turned down vacations and taken loooong train rides in lieu of a quick 30 minute flight. I hate to admit this, but the only thing that has made flying completely bearable is a few drinks pre take off (I know it’s bad!). If that’s not an option, I often look at the flight attendants; if they are calm it gives me a little more peace of mind. Also during take-off (the absolute WORSE part, especially because you can’t listen to music!) I close my eyes and count to 100, syncing each number with my breathing, aka long deep breaths that go deep into your belly (not just lungs). Not only are they scientifically proven to alleviate symptoms of anxiety, by the time you reach 100 you’ll be able to turn your ipod on.
So glad you brought this topic up!
For long flights like the one to Hawaii I definitely (if it’s feasible) recommend first class. Free drinks, cheese and wine trays, a full meal, warm hand towels, dessert, they pamper and you have extra room to stretch out and relax which makes the time go by MUCH quicker!
Wow, first of all…Hawaii?!! Awesome awesome awesome!! I love that place. 😀 And amen that he’ll be free from his fear! Unfortunately, I don’t know ANYTHING about helping someone who has that fear….
This post was funny to me because I am scared of flying AND elevators. I’m actually more scared of elevators than flying though, but that’s been a long process! I am very claustrophobic and every time I get on an elevator my heart starts beating out of my chest. Flying is so nervewracking for me but I try to take comfort in the fact that it’s extremely safe especially when you compare it to driving on the road. I’m sure the long flight will be just fine and Ryan will be thankful he did it when you guys are soaking up the sun in Hawaii!
The flight to Hawaii is a long one, but for me, distracting myself was key. I took Dramamine throughout the flight, and it helped me sleep for a lot of it. I also kept the window shades closed for most of the trip, and stayed entertained with books. We flew U.S. Airways and they don’t have wi-fi like I thought they would :(, but the flight goes by surprisingly fast when you’re excited to get there. I don’t have a fear of flying, but I was a little nervous about flying over the ocean, and these things worked!
I have a serious fear of flying, too!! And it drives me CRAZY that everyone tells a scary story as soon as they find out I’m scared. Why do people do that?! I got anti-anxiety meds before my last flight a few months ago but it didn’t do much 🙁
I hope Ryan feels ok during this flight! The only way I stay slightly calm is by trying to distract myself with movies on the iPad or something …
I’m saying this not in a place of judgement or cattiness, but because I just watched an episode of Anderson that covered this.
It’s not the best idea to advertise when both you and your husband will be out of town… You never know who will be reading this blog. It makes you a target for a break-in, especially since you’re saying exactly what day you’re going and how long you’ll be gone.
An expert on the show said that even saying you’re going to a certain store at a certain time on Facebook can give robbers ample time to break in.
I’m not saying this to scare you, and I really hope you don’t take it the wrong way! I’ve been mugged before, so I know how horrible it can be when your privacy and belongings have been invaded on in such an aggressive way.