This afternoon I had lunch plans with my friend Laurel! She got engaged on Saturday night and even though I saw her on Sunday morning, I was more than excited for our lunch date today to hear all about her wedding day ideas and plans.
Once I picked her up, we headed out for a yummy lunch of fresh salads.
Why do salads taste so much better when someone else makes them for me?
My salad was very flavorful and perfectly fresh. A definite winner!
Laurel and I finished our meals quickly but kept talking until she had to go back to work. She already has a potential date in mind for her big day and it’s sooner than she initially thought it would be, which is very exciting! I can’t wait to be there as everything unfolds.
As the friend of a bride, I love short engagements! I get so excited for all of the wedding fun to start and want it all to happen now.
According to this article, the average American engagement is 14 months. Ryan and I were engaged for 13 months, but we both said we felt like you don’t need that much time as long as you can find a venue in a shorter amount of time. Once the place for the ceremony and reception is lined up, finding other vendors, flowers, a dress, etc. all seem to come together pretty fast (though it did take me a million different tries to find my dress). I honestly felt like Ryan and didn’t do anything for a good four to five months in the middle of our engagement other than wait.
Questions of the Afternoon
- What do you think is the ideal length of an engagement?
- How long were you engaged/ How long would you like to be engaged?
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I was engaged for 13 months as well — 9 months was required by our church. We didn’t do months as well… especially since I lived in hawaii during 2.5 of those months 😛
I would like to be engaged at least a year. I think it gives enough time for planning and enjoying that time together. It is hopefully the only time you will have that period with anyone, ever. 🙂
That’s an interesting question! I think 13/14 is good— some waiting is nice! But I also understand why some couples have longer engagements with little planning going on for a while. I think I’d like to be engaged for a bit over a year to keep it relaxed but fun!
The ideal engagement length? No clue. Jason and I were engaged for 5 months — it was enough time for us to plan our small ceremony and I remember feeling like we were waiting too long!
I think the ideal length for an engagement depends on how long you’ve been dating each other. 9 months – a year sounds about right to me if you’ve been with your fiance for at least a full year prior to the engagement. Everyone’s different though!
I like this question. 🙂 I’ve been engaged since the end of March (roughly 3 months). We are planning on getting married in August of 2012. So we are almost about a month away. We are still in the process of finding a venue. 🙂
*not a month away, I mean a year away! Haha.
congrats on your upcoming wedding, hope!
Thank you, Julie! 🙂
That is almost EXACTLY what I’m doing too 🙂 We got engaged in April and will be married August 11, 2012. We just found a venue and booked it and are not planning on doing anything else until this fall. I think that it will be nice to relax for a bit. I tend to get stressed out about planning events 🙂 Congrats on your upcoming wedding 🙂
Thank you! You too!! 🙂
I am getting married that same day.
I was engaged for just under 13 months and that was plenty of time.
I think I could have done it in 6 months, but perhaps 9 months is ideal.
I think that the ideal length is anywhere from 10-14 months. We were engaged for 12 months, and it gave us plenty of time to figure everything out, including lots of DIY and personal touches. There were a few wrenches thrown in our plans during that time (venue closed/new owners, we moved to another state) but since we had a year to plan, we had the time to fix everything and make it the perfect day.
I’ve known people who have had 5 month engagements and their events turned out perfectly. I suppose it all depends on how good of a planner you are and if you are willing to ask for help when you need it (I was not…hence the nice long engagement!).
I think the ideal engagement should be around a year, if not a few months less. I know a couple who were engaged for almost 2 years before finally tying the knot. Wayyyy too long if you ask me! 😕
I am currently engaged. Our engagement will last 14 months and I agree it feels long. We have a lot of things already lined up so now we are just waiting.
14 months seems like a solid engagement time to me. I know nothing about how long it takes to plan a wedding so I feel like I’ll need as much time as possible!
hmmm interesting question! My brother and his fiance would probably get married tomorrow if they could, but their venue was booked for 18 months, so they’re in for the long haul. I think they wish the engagement was a bit shorter.
Now, for ME, I’m aiming for a short engagement. The goal of meeting someone by 25 has come and gone. In three weeks, I’ll be 28. I am certainly not gettin’ any younger. So, I’d be just fine with 9-12 months for an engagement. Now, all I need is the groom-to-be 🙂
I don’t plan to get married, so it’s hard to say, but when my brother told me that he was engaged, I told him to get on a plane to the Caribbean the next day and elope so that he wouldn’t have to deal with family meddling in wedding planning.
I’ve always had the thought in my head that you should date for at least a year before becoming engaged, be engaged for at least a year before getting married, and be married for at least a year (preferably around the 3-5 mark) before having children. A college professor confirmed this for me a few years ago.
She mentioned that people change with the seasons and with their circumstances. Being engaged in a relationship creates a different dynamic than being in a committed relationship; and as the year goes by their attitude will change. So hopefully by the time you’ve married, you’ve experience enough of that person to continue the relationship with a happy married life!
i had a child development teacher in high school say couples should date for at least 3 yrs. before getting engaged! so interesting to hear different perspectives!
I totally agree with this! Of course if it’s not possible for whatever reason, it’s not possible, but I believe it’s important to get to know your spouse through and through before having kids. As your relationship naturally develops over time, it needs attention to get into its long-term happy place so that you can provide the best example of marriage to your kids. Plus, there are all kinds of crazy-in-love chemicals your brain produces during the first 2-3 years of a relationship, so it helps to make sure that a true connection is still there once the dopamine wears off 🙂
I agree! You need to get through the “honeymoon” phase before getting engaged! My husband and I dated for four years and were engaged for 9 months! We were young and in school when we met so I felt like 4 hrs of dating was a good length for us!
I love this comment and the reasoning behind the timeline.
I got engaged a year after we dated. I got married a year after we got engaged. The timeline was not on purpose but each step happened when it felt right.
13 months for me! and that was more than enough time to accomplish everything! however, i did like having enough time for the many showers and parties we were graciously given 🙂 🙂
We were engaged for 15 months, however I think that was mostly due to the timing of everything. We were engaged in Feb 2010, and my brother didn’t come home from Afghanistan until Sept 2010. Originally (before my brother was deployed), I wanted to get married in Sept, but that didn’t really work. So we waited until May 2011, you know for warmer weather. Plus we avoided a conflict with football season in the fall!
Ideally, I’d say 9-12 months. If you want the best choice of vendors (which can be hard to come by), you want as long as possible.
My husband and I just discussed this last weekend! I think the ideal engagement length is about 11-12 months. His thoughts are “the sooner, the better” (easier said by the groom, right?). That said, we were engaged 22 months, almost two full years!, before we got married. I’m still not sure why we chose a date so far out, but part of it was definitely that I felt 22 was a tad young to get married. Lots of factors go into that decision!
haha, I just posted the same thing right below. got married at 22, engaged for 2 years!
I was engaged for almost 2 years! I didn’t really do any planning for the first year. We were 20 and in college when we got engaged, so not in a huge hurry. I thought he would wait another year or so to propose, but nope! I also wasn’t huge into wedding planning.
Salads made by someone else are infinitely more delicious than ones I make. It is magic. This is also true for sandwiches.
I planned our wedding in 5 months. But my husband is military and we wanted to have the wedding before he left. It can be done!
As someone who just got engaged on Monday…whoop whoop…I think at least a year. But I think anything over a year and a half would be too long for me.
ahhhh! congrats! very exciting!
We were engaged for 6 months, eloped and then are having the party in a few months. So if we got married at our party, it would have been a 10 month engagement. That probably didn’t make any sense!
I think for each is different….we were engaged for 11 WEEKS!! And everything came together perfectly 🙂 We loved each other, knew where we were getting married, and wanted to seal the deal soon.
It was the perfect day 🙂
oh my gosh! you’re hardcore! so glad your day was perfect. 🙂
I’m the maid of honor for a wedding to be held on July 29th… and they got engaged at the end of february! I can definitely say that short of an engagement kept us on our toes as far as planning went, but if you like planning in a fast-paced manner, it was doable!
I was engaged for 14 months! I agree, it was a little long. I think that my planning timeline was about 9 months, which was a nice length, but I think it just depends a lot on the type of wedding you want 🙂 Congrats to your friend!
haha this is definitely controversial topic to my in laws.
I DARED propose to my now husband after we had been dating for a year. My hubs and I wanted to get married 8 months later (before my dad passed away) but there were quite a few opinions about that. 🙁
So we had a bit more than a year and a half long engagement.
My parents met in march and were married in november of the same year! Happily married for 37 years before my dad died.
To each their own! 🙂
How about this for a short engagement: 2 1/2 months! After talking/daydreaming about eloping, I decided I wanted a real wedding with all of our family and friends there. We had been dating for 2 years prior and just wanted to get to the alter!!! 5 years together and 3 years married – couldn’t be happier 🙂
Indian weddings are always elaborate so I know planning will be nuts- I would like a 6-8 month engagement period…or so I’m thinking as of now!
ryan and i were able to peek in on an indian wedding that was partially held outdoors when we were in atlanta and it looked amazing! so detailed and elaborate! we were in awe!
I was engaged for 14 months and it felt toooooo long. Looking back though, it was necessary because it took my dress 9 months, I got my wedding planner’s last weekend of the year, and our photographer and limo service were both booking a year in advance…so it worked out!
We actually contemplated just going and secretly getting married, but didn’t. In retrospect, I am glad we had a long engagement because it meant I got everything I wanted. I was also only 22 when we got engaged, so it gave me another year to grow and mature!
It probably depends on how long you’ve been dating and how old you are. Hubbs and I were engaged for 11 months, but I could have gone shorter. 7 months sounds good!
I was only engaged for 4 months and I think it was plenty of time. I already knew exactly what I wanted and had so many family and friends who were eager to pitch in and help. Honestly, I don’t think I could have survived a longer engagement, I just wanted to be married! We had a simple wedding and did it on a budget, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I think 6-10 months would be reasonable for most people.. It is plenty of time to get everything together and still breathe lol! It seems like if the engagement is longer there is just a lot of waiting and things still get put off until the last minute
I honestly think it totally depends on what stage of your life you’re at, what kind of wedding you want, and who you are! I’ve been engaged since September and am getting married in August – the only reason we put it off is because we had just moved to the UK and weren’t planning to come back to Canada (our home!) until the summer. We are doing it all DIY – and will have less than a month to prepare! Maybe not ideal planning wise, but we are anxious to start our lives together!
My husband and I were engaged for 9 months and that was more than enough time to plan a wedding. We initially had picked a date that would have been 13-14 months away but changed venues and moved the date up. I couldn’t be happier. The more time I would have had would have just given me more time to change my mind about the choices I’d made with the flowers, decorations, etc. I definitely think it is different for everyone, but I am an impatient person and like to get things moving. 🙂
I think the right engagement time is probably different for every person depending on their lifestyle and what they want for their wedding. My engagement was almost 2 years, and because I had a job and was a full-time student, that was just the right amount of time for me! Any less time and we would have been scrambling to get everything we wanted done. Just depends on the couple! 🙂
I was engaged for 18 months which was a long time. We did not do a thing until 12 months (when we actually picked a date) and then we slowly pieced things together. You are definetly right that there are 3-5 months in the middle where you don’t do much.. there is a definite push in the begining and then again in the end. It can definetly be done in less than a year!
I think if your life isn’t too crazy at the moment, you can plan a beautiful wedding in 6 months. My friend’s engagement is only three months, but her mom and sister are doing a ton of scrambling for her.
I on the other hand, will have been engaged for 27 (!) months by the time we get married in September. I had grad school to finish up, then our jobs got insane. While I did have a lot of down time and waiting during the planning period, we were able to save up a ton of money for our honeymoon and some nice touches for our wedding. So I guess the length really depends on your schedule and of course, the availability of your venue/catering top choices.
I’ve noticed that, for my female friends, the older they tend to be, the shorter they want their engagement!! I blame the fact that ladies have a biological clock they hear ticking, but it’s interesting when I see young friends who are engaged for over a year… I think it might have something to do with how sure they are and how much time they need to put things together.
Also, some of the younger women and men I know who get married need longer times to raise the money for what’s likely one of the more expensive days of their lives!!
For me, I think a year would be sufficient as I’d want to add a lot of personal DIY touches, and make sure that I get the venue and date I wanted!
I don’t think that there’s any ideal length… it’s just whatever is best for each individual couple. I couldn’t imagine having too long of an engagement myself, but that’s just me. I was very ready to be married to Brandon! 🙂
We were engaged for 8 months. That was plenty of time to do all of the wedding preparation. And by the end, I was itching to get down that aisle! Of course, I also lived with a family that I barely knew while we were engaged (they let me stay with them for free until we got married… how nice is that?!). I didn’t move in with Brandon until after the honeymoon. So that’s a big reason why I was getting “itchy” haha! 😉
We got engaged in April of this year, after being together for about 7 years, and since we knew we wanted an end-of-summer wedding, we had to choose between a 5 month engagement or a 17 month one – we went with 5, and I’m having the best time! It’s stressful, and we’ve had to be pretty flexible, but that works for us. I always end up taking as much time as I have anyway; I can’t imagine living with a to-do list this long for more than a year! Plus, I’m already SO excited and can’t wait for the actual day – if it were a whole year away, I think I’d explode. 🙂
i want to be engaged for about 18 months. i say this only because i hope to be engaged next spring and married the following fall (just season-wise). i agree about engagement length only as long as you need to find the venue
We were engaged for 7 months, honestly we did everything in the last 2 months except choose the dress, venue, and wedding party. It would’ve been PLENTY of time if had been in the States to work on it. Since I was out of the country until the last two and a half weeks, it was a little bit stressful planning online/over the phone.
I think 6-8 months is plenty long if you know you want to get married. Unless you really want to wait for summer or whatever. JUST DO IT! 🙂
Ahhh I am JUST about to post an update regarding that very article!! We got engaged in October and our wedding is THIS WEEKEND!! So…nine months was perfect for us 😉
I only wish I had time for more DIY projects…It seems like I find something fun and new online every single day!
Interesting. I was engaged for 14 months. We waited so we could save money mostly but also I wanted my wedding in either Feb or March because it’s too hot any other time in Florida.
Of course, I ended up going to Vegas instead. But the weather was perfect there in March, so it worked out.
I did a lot of waiting in the meantime too. I think 9-12 months would probably be ideal.
I think it all depends on how long you’ve known each other (after all, you do want to make sure it’s the right choice!) and how much time you have to plan. Like you said, if you can find a venue etc and get all the arrangements made fairly quickly, I don’t see why it should be drawn out any longer. I think around 1 year is about right.
We were engaged 6 months which worked out great for us, since we were a bit flexible on the date. We got engaged in May and knew we wanted a fall wedding. A year and a half seemed to me like a loong time to wait, so once we were able to snag November 13 at our venue (the last available fall date), we didn’t look back! I didn’t have any problems planning in 6 months – just had to be organized and manage my time well since I was also in grad school and working full time!
I’m like you, whenever a good friend gets engaged I get SO excited and want everything to happen NOW!
For me, I think a year will be about perfect. I live in another state than most of my long time friends and my family, so having a bit of time to get things planned with out having to freak out will be nice. Now, I’ll just have to wait and see what happens!
I just got engaged on June 3. Our engagement will be exactly one year. We are getting married on June 2, 2012. We have gotten the ceremony and reception booked as well as did the cake tasting and have gotten a few little things such as ring pillow/flower basket, invites, candles, etc. There will be a lot of down time since I am not getting my bridal party attire or talking to a florist until next year. Funny thing is some of my bridemaids are getting snarky with me because I am planning things now, yet most reception venues I called were already booked. Shows them I guess. Plus we have a VERY limited budget so i have to do a lot of planning now if I want to get what I want for my budget.
I don’t know what I think the ideal engagement length is. I would love to get engaged to my bf, but we won’t we wouldn’t be able to get married for 2 years due to grad school- that would be a really long engagement, but I don’t think I would mind if there was a legitimate reason for us to wait on the marriage. Then again, the engagement could just happen later too. Nothing would really change for us other than the title or the fact that I’d have a ring on my finger 🙂
I don’t really think there is an “ideal” I mean it really depends on the type of wedding, the location and what an engagement means to you. My husband and I were engaged for 12 months and 1 week before we got married but that was do to the fact I had to finish up my last year of university and we were having our wedding in a different location than where we lived.
We were engaged for 13 months. It was perfect for us. We paid for everything ourselves and hubby had lost his job just after asking me to marry him. We needed all the time to come up with the money to have a wedding!
We were engaged 6 months and we pulled it off together in plenty of time! Considering we had over 300 guest I was pretty proud we actually did it in that amount of time! 9 months would have been ideal though…less stress
Oh my gosh! 300 guests & you only had 6 months?! YOU GO GIRL 😀 That is AWESOME!!!