This afternoon I had lunch plans with my friend Laurel! She got engaged on Saturday night and even though I saw her on Sunday morning, I was more than excited for our lunch date today to hear all about her wedding day ideas and plans.
Once I picked her up, we headed out for a yummy lunch of fresh salads.
Why do salads taste so much better when someone else makes them for me?
My salad was very flavorful and perfectly fresh. A definite winner!
Laurel and I finished our meals quickly but kept talking until she had to go back to work. She already has a potential date in mind for her big day and it’s sooner than she initially thought it would be, which is very exciting! I can’t wait to be there as everything unfolds.
As the friend of a bride, I love short engagements! I get so excited for all of the wedding fun to start and want it all to happen now.
According to this article, the average American engagement is 14 months. Ryan and I were engaged for 13 months, but we both said we felt like you don’t need that much time as long as you can find a venue in a shorter amount of time. Once the place for the ceremony and reception is lined up, finding other vendors, flowers, a dress, etc. all seem to come together pretty fast (though it did take me a million different tries to find my dress). I honestly felt like Ryan and didn’t do anything for a good four to five months in the middle of our engagement other than wait.
Questions of the Afternoon
- What do you think is the ideal length of an engagement?
- How long were you engaged/ How long would you like to be engaged?
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We’ve been engaged for 16 months, which most people think is wayyy too long. We didn’t originally plan for it to be this long, but we wanted to have time for both us and our parents to save money for an elaborate wedding, so we were actually planning for it to be another whole year away! Then, 2 months ago, we realized that we were waiting for all the wrong reasons and all we really cared about was actually being married. Now, our date is 4 months away! I’m doing a lot of DIY projects (including our cake- am I insane?) so the planning has pretty much been a breeze after booking the venue.
Aaaand I just wrote a book. Sorry! 🙂
We dated for over 3 years before getting engaged in January ’08 and were married end of August ’08, so we had just over 7 months and I felt like that was plenty of time. In fact, as long as you get the big things done first, we would have been ok with something shorter like 5-6 months! I was ready to make it official!!
We will be engaged for about 15 months by the time our wedding rolls around next May. We initially wanted to get married in October but when we got engaged in February it felt like not enough time- but we are also paying for the wedding ourselves and lived in different states at the time of our engagement so there were other things for us to consider. Waiting until the following fall felt way too long, so we decided to re-think our plans and get married in the spring.
Now that I am actually in the planning stages, I think I could certainly pull off a wedding with a short engagement, but we are also enjoying this time and don’t feel rushed or stressed, which is so nice.
Very interesting question! My one friend was engaged for two years, and a friend of a friend was engaged for five years! Everyone else was average. I haven’t been engaged yet, but my boyfriend and I say that once that time comes, we’ll get engaged, then randomly go to city hall to make it official and then have a big cookout with our friends and family. We’re so not traditional (and I feel bad for our friends because I love attending other peoples weddings). 🙂
We had a long (18 months) engagement, and for us it was just fine- I don’t think we really benefited, and I don’t think we should have pushed it up. We were 22 and had known each other for two years, but had only been dating seven months when he proposed. We took into account grad school and work factors when we were setting a date, and June 2008 just happened to work best. It gave us PLENTY of time to plan, not only for the wedding, but also for our marriage. I have to say the only downside was that I haaaated wedding planning, so a long engagement just meant more months of “So how’s the wedding planning coming?? Have you decided on xyz?” People often say their wedding day was one of the happiest of their lives, but I really loved the day after, when it was over and we were married and could just relax with our families and friends before the honeymoon 🙂
I was engaged for 5 months! Short. I didn’t even know he was going to propose.. but I wanted a summer wedding and didn’t want to wait a year and 5 months.. so we just did the damn thing.
I was engaged 4.5 months. It was perfect – we planned everything quickly but it kept us from adding more and more details (and more and more $$$). It also was so nice to know it was coming quickly – after he proposed we were so ready to be married… and then we had to wait some more! I loved having a short engagement and wouldn’t have it any other way! Plus, it helped us maintain physical boundaries (we waited til we were married) and we know extra time would have just continued to put stress on that and make it even harder.
We were engaged for 17 months – worked out to be the perfect amount of time for us 🙂 I did a lot of the “big” planning early – getting venues and securing vendors. We live in the DC-Baltimore metro area so a lot of the best places and vendors get snagged up early – often more than a year in advance! We took the time to make sure we got what we wanted and also save $$ since we were paying for it ourselves and could proudly enter our marriage with zero debt 🙂
I love the short engagements! I hate waiting to celebrate someone! ha!
We were engaged after only dating for 2 months & only had an 8 month engagement. We’ll be married 3 years this August 🙂
We were engaged for two years…which was a little too long in my opinion, but I wanted to wait until I finished grad school. Plus I married young, so there wasn’t a huge rush (engaged at 22, married at 24). However, I’m glad I was engaged two years because wedding planning was very stressful between grad school, interning, and working and the long engagement allowed me extra time to make sure everything was perfect.
I don’t think there is an “ideal” engagement length, because every couple and situation is different. And a wedding can be beautiful whether planned in three weeks or three years!
Oh I have an opinion on this! We were engaged for 17 months and it was TOO LONG! Everyone I know that’s gotten engaged since, I’ve told them don’t make it a long engagement but no one listens!
I understand it doesn’t always work out based on when you get engaged and when you want your wedding (which was my case). But, for me at least, I would’ve rather had my wedding at a different time of year than had the engagement so long. Engagements just feel like you’re wishing your life away waiting for the wedding and the lesser amount of time you can feel that way the better! I think mine was also made more difficult by the fact that I was in NY and my fiance was in FL. A long time to be separated.
We were engaged for 10 months..it was pretty perfect, although, honestly it could of even been a bit shorter. We had a few months in the middle where we did nothing too!
My friend that is getting married this weekend was only engaged for 8 months! But she was able to get everything done & ready for this weekend 😀 I can’t wait to go!!
I was engaged for four months and thought it was perfect. Sometimes it felt really busy trying to get everything planned, but I got it done, and was glad I didn’t have to wait any longer to get married.
Well…I met my husband for the first time, fell in love, got engaged, and married all in one years time exactly. We were engaged for 6 months, and it was enough time to make things happen for a really nice ceremony and reception. We’re married for 10 years (anniversary in April) and very happy too!
I think when you know, you know! And the more simple the wedding/reception is the shorter amount of time needed to plan.
My husband and I were engaged for 9 months which was plenty of time! We also had a destination wedding, so venues were a bit more flexible – definitely not as booked up as places get here in NJ!
I love this discussion!
We got engaged in May (of this year) and by early June we decided to get married on September 3rd…of this year. (And I swear I’m not preggers!)
So basically we will have a four month engagement and three months of planning. We are incredibly lucky and planning has been a breeze. I have a few little things to do…most of them crafty DIY items. Everyone is different, so I wouldn’t say this is right for everyone…but I am here to say that it can be done. We aren’t stressed out, and we are incredibly ready and excited to be married.
We were engaged for 11 months and that was just about right. We didn’t feel rushed with planning and we felt ready to be married by the end, a good place to be in, I think.
I’m engaged and our wedding is going to be almost exactly 15 months from the date he proposed. This is longer than I would have liked, but I wanted to wait until after my college graduation, which will be three weeks before the wedding.
I don’t really want a long engagement, but that’s because I’d like to be dating the man for a while before we even get engaged. I don’t really want to get married for at least another two years, and I’d prefer to date the guy for at least a year beforehand…so we shall see!
My hubby and I were engaged for 16 months. It didn’t seem all that long to me though, with all the planning. Our wedding was small and intimate, and well worth the wait! 🙂
I’m totally the odd one out here, but I’ve always wanted a loooong engagement, 3 years ideally but absolutely no less than 2 years. I just want time to plan and explore all options, plus it’s the only time i’ll ever be engaged (hopefully), so why not just enjoy it? After that, I want to wait 2-3 years before introducing kids to the mix. We’ll see though… I’ve been with my boyfriend for nearly 7 years and I’m getting old! haha.
I definitely want to enjoy being engaged, too, but I don’t want to get ‘bored’ with it or have ‘too much time’ like a lot of people on here are saying. Now I feel more confident that I could plan a wedding in a year if needed 😉 but we are also in college so that would take up a lot of planning time, too, if my boyfriend decides to propose in the next year or so….. :o)
ooh yeah, i didn’t mean that planning = not enjoying an engagement! haha! i don’t know what girl wouldn’t enjoy being engaged! i just meant basically, i wouldn’t want to do any immediate wedding planning.
i’ll be engaged for 9 months…a lot of people thought that was really short. :/ a friend of mine was engaged for exactly 1 year.
We were engaged for about 5 months…give or take a week! People thought I was pregnant and wanted to be married before the baby arrived! 🙂 It was long enough for us as we had been a couple for over 5 years…. The ideal length is whatever works for YOU. 🙂
My fiance and I have been engaged foe almost a month and just booked rhe reception and ceremony for a year fron TODAy! I think its perfect and suited us!
I’ve always wanted a long-ish engagement (at least a year), but everyone I’ve talked to says they wish their engagement was shorter no matter how long their engagement actually was, so now I’m rethinking that idea. I’m sure it will just come down to when I get engaged and what time of year I’ll want to get married.
I was engaged for six months before we got married. We got engaged in January and got married that August. For us it was logistics. I’m a teacher and didn’t want to get married during the school year and not be able to go on a honeymoon.
I think “to each his own” as far as engagement time goes. I was engaged for 10mos before we got married; truth be told, I would have married this man on our first date. (We’ll be celebrating 12yrs of marriage this fall.) 😉
We had just shy of a year, and I definitely wished I had more time. We did get everything done, but I wish I could have done it at a more leisurely pace. Granted, I work full time and go to school every night, and our wedding was in a different city than we live so a lot of travelling was involved. Brides with less hectic schedules probably don’t need as much time. I will say that in the city where I got married, most popular venues get booked more than a year in advance. So even if you personally don’t need as much time to plan, you’ll find yourself with fewer options if you have a short engagement.
I think it will depend on the time of year that I get engaged. I want to get married in the spring/summer, so if I get engaged DURING that time period it will be 9-12 months and it would be shorter if I were asked in the fall or winter, but I think I want at least 6 months.
My boyfriend’s older brother got engaged in March and they’re having their wedding in October (7 months).
We were engaged for 5 mos~ which I thought was perfect! It gave us enough time to plan but not soooo much time that we were agonizing over decisions for too long. We just made a decision and moved on to the next one. Check!
To me, that was the perfect amount of time. I’m glad that I didn’t have to wait too long to be his wife!
My husband and I were engaged for 13 months as well. I was finishing college so we had to wait a few months longer than we would have liked.
I think ideally around 6-9 months would be ideal if you’re already in the ‘adult world’ and not in school.
I think the best thing was dating for 4 years before we were engaged. It scares me for people who date for 6 months and then get engaged (most cases, not all!) You barely know someone after six months!
A few years of dating really makes all the difference. It’s the rest of your life for goodness sake, no need to rush!
🙂
i agree… i love my bf and have loved him since before we dated (we were good friends)… but i would not have accepted a ring before at least 2 years of dating.
Though I’ve never been engaged, I think when I do get there I’ll be ready to get married as soon as possible. 6 – 9 months sounds great to me.
I think I’ll need to be engaged for a good, long time before I get married. I’m a commitment-phobe so I’m afraid I’ll end up backing out, haha!
I’m currently engaged and will have had a 17 month long engagement when we get married next May. We chose the date with the hopes that my fiance’s sister and her army husband would be in the country at that time. That said, I think the ideal engagement length would be shorter than 17 months…
We were engaged for 2 years, but I didn’t even start planning anything until about 8 months before. Honestly, I felt like we were “pre-engaged” for the first year and a half anyway (engaged 2 months into dating).
I figure, however long it takes you to get the stuff planned for whatever you really want is as long as the engagement really needs to be (I think you have to wait 3 days for a marriage license in MA, so yeah!). Though, one of my friends had her wedding planned BEFORE her engagement (LOL! They’d been together for like 10 years at that point).
I definitely agree that every couple and situation is different. Our engagement will be just over 7 months, we’re getting married in December. I’ve had some people ask why so soon and others comment that 7 months is way too long. I guess engagement length, like everything else wedding related, is something people are very opinionated about!
The husband and I were engaged for 5 1/2 months… It was good for us, we had dated for almost 4 years and knew that it was time, so we just did it! 🙂 ….It was long enough to plan a wonderful wedding!
I was engaged for 13 months…I think 9 months would be perfect as long as you aren’t set on getting married during the prime wedding months (since they book up fast)…we definitely had 5 months where I buried my head in the sand and I didn’t do any wedding planning and my wedding turned out absolutely perfect.
My husband and I were engaged for just under a year–he proposed on March 19th, 2010, and we were married on Feb. 26th, 2011. For some reason I really didn’t want to be engaged longer than a year. And I’ll be totally honest that we planned everything in less than 5 months. The only arrangement I made between March and early October was buying my wedding dress!
A lot depends on what you want your wedding to be (large, small, hotel ballroom, parents’ backyard, etc.). We had a family-only destination wedding in Bermuda. If I had wanted a designer dress, I might have needed to allow more time. If we had gotten married where we live (DC metro area) we might have had to wait if we wanted a specific venue, photographer, caterer, etc to be available. The more flexible you are, the shorter your engagement can be.
My friends and family have been all over the map engagement-wise. My bestie from high school was engaged for only three months, and was so tired of being asked if she was pregnant (she wasn’t) that she threatened to carry around a used negative pregnancy test to show everyone! And another friend has been engaged going on 5 years now, with no wedding date set. Honestly, I don’t think they will actually get married–not a great relationship all around.
My coworker married her husband six weeks after their first (blind) date! And they are still happily married 25+ years later–now that one still blows my mind!
Well… I’m crazy. I was engaged for two months! And we had only dated a month before we got engaged.
Timeline was like this:
July 1, 2008: First date
August 8, 2008: Engaged
October 12, 2008: MARRIED.
I never thought I would get married so I had no clue what I wanted my wedding to be like so I just sort of made decisions quickly and wanted to keep cost down (and splurged on a great photographer.) I don’t think it has to be stressful but we had a VERY small wedding and I think that helped.
There were some extenuating circumstances in my case – the main one being my father was really sick and I didn’t want to wait in case he passed. Sounds morbid/nuts but I knew by the 4th date my husband was ‘the one’ and I also knew my dad was really really ill. He skipped his week of chemo to be able to walk me down the aisle and passed away just under 2 years later. My wedding was perfect because of the men there-my husband and my dad! All the details like flowers, dress, etc were fine but not the most important thing to me.
Sorry that got so long!
I think the engagement length all depends on the individual circumstance, but I prefer a shorter engagement. Mine was just 8 months. I couldn’t imagine it being any longer. I would have gone bananas!
My engagement will last 13 months when I finally get married next month! The only reason it’s that long is because our reception venue gets booked so fast on Penn State’s campus, and our weekend was the only weekend available when we booked it! And Dan booked it before he proposed! I do feel that we didn’t need all 13 months. From November to April, we literally did nothing for the wedding because everything was basically done!
I was engaged for 12 months. I suppose we would’ve gotten married sooner but we both loved Autumn and the prices also dropped a bit after summer.
I was engaged for a year (Dec. 22nd to Dec. 28th – with a whole bunch of months in between) and it was just too long. I swear I was tempted to elope about 5 times. If I had to do it all again (and hopefully I don’t) I would go with a 6 month enagement.
My brothers take the cake though — one will be engaged for 2 years and 5 months and the other is still up in the air. I really just want them to get married already!
I was engaged for 5.5 months, but we had dated for 3 years before that. Almost 6 years of married bliss! 🙂
We were engaged for 18 months and I loved it. I never felt rushed or stressed to plan the wedding and was able to enjoy the planning and engagement more. Being in the events field (I am an Events Coordinator) I would never plan a wedding in less than a year!
I admit that we were engaged for 20 months (i.e. after college graduation). Which was a really LONG time but that was great for us.
We were both full-time students. The school was 3 hours from home/where the wedding was held meaning some things could only be accomplished while we were in town. We had 1-3 part-time jobs each at various times. And we were busy applying for jobs (him) and medical school (me). Plus his family is slow to make decisions so stretching everything out like that made it a more comfortable process for them.
If we hadn’t had all those things though I definitely would’ve wanted a shorter engagement! But this way we got to enjoy planning the wedding without feeling rushed.
I would say around about a year or so would be ideal. I think I’d want a while to plan a wedding as it can be stressful. Saying that, it depends a lot on when I was proposed to, our finances would have a big impact on the length of engagemen. As sad as it is with the economy at the moment, I’d need quite a while to save up :p
I guess it all depends but for us – it was 6 months. We had a destination wedding and just jetted off and had a killer time on the beach! Wouldn’t change a thing! 🙂
I just want to be engaged before I think about how long it will actually be… 🙂