I was off to the social security office this morning to officially change my name from Julie Bream to Julie Fagan. Well, Julie Elizabeth Bream Fagan. Only eight months after we got married! I’m quite punctual.
It’s hard to believe that I’m now Julie E. B. Fagan. The E.B. cracks me up. I feel like the author of Charlotte’s Web.
I considered dropping “Elizabeth” but I just couldn’t ditch the middle name I’ve had my whole life and I wasn’t about to drop “Bream.” The woman at the social security office told me that middle names don’t mean much anyway, so I decided to keep it and have two middle names.
Ryan and my dad got a pretty good kick out of my new name when I called them and said they were now speaking to Julie E. B. Fagan. Maybe I should’ve combined Elizabeth and Bream… Elizaream? Breamabeth?
I think I’ve put off changing my name for so long because I wanted to feel 100 percent comfortable changing my name. I always knew I’d take Ryan’s last name, but no longer being Julie Bream was difficult for me to wrap my head around at first. I absolutely adore my family and love being connected to them. Of course our connection is deeper than sharing a last name and I really wanted to be connected to Ryan (and our future children) in that way, but it wasn’t a simple decision.
But now it’s official and I’m excited! I just have to wait for my new social security card to come in the mail and then head to the DMV (joy!) to get a new driver’s license.
Lunch
Lunch today was inspired by my meal from the Virgin Olive Market a couple of weeks ago.
I placed fresh mozzarella cheese on a sweet wheat Alternative Bagel and toasted it before topping the bagel with tomatoes and fresh spinach.
Strawberry banana Chobani Greek yogurt and fresh blueberries were served on the side of my bagelwich.
I am loving that all summer berries are on serious sale lately! They’re the candy of summer!
Question of the Afternoon
- Did you/Would you change your last name after marriage?
![\"Quantcast\"/](\"//pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-1e3-7hOJ_U8Bg.gif\")
I seriously think about this question all the time! Of course I will want to take my husband’s last name.. but I’m so attached the idea of staying connected to my family name too. You would think a name would be easier to let go of!
My middle name is actually passed down from my father and grandfather who also have my middle name, so I’m thinking maybe keeping just my middle name will leave me feeling not so disconnected?? I’ve a couple years to sit on it.. but it still makes me nervous! haha
I will ABSOLUTELY change my name! My parents had two different last names because my mom wanted to keep her family name and it caused SO many conversations I wish I could’ve avoided. My parents also decided to give my brother and sister one of their last names and me the other … what!?!?!?! We had so many questions on whether we were REALLY sibilings, and the answer is YES. It caused a lot of frustration to try and explain as a child, so yes, I’ll most definitely change my name. I actually can’t wait! (I’m sure it’ll be weird, like any change, but really good.)
Congrats on your fun new name! I’m glad you waited until you were comfortable, to each her own and it’s best to be sure of your decision! =]
You’re comment about how you’re sure itll be weird (to change the last name) but really good made me feel better.
I am going to change my name and I personally feel that if I don’t, I’m not giving myself 100% to the marriage… and like you said, it’ll be weird but it’ll be good 🙂
Thanks for this!
I’m so glad it made you feel better!!
I am completely in agreement with you about not feeling like I’d be 100% in without changing my name either. I think any change is odd, or weird, or hard, or all of the above. Any change is stressful, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a positive thing. Your name right now has a ring to it because you’re used to it. Once you get used to your new name, you’ll love it just the same =]
So glad it helped, congratulations on your future name change Leanne!
I got married on Oct 2 of last year and my husband and I planned today off to do some errands, change my name, and reeelax. Funny coincidence! 🙂 Luckily, it wound up being a pretty painless process.
I kept my middle name, but dropped my maiden (and very common) name altogether.
I totally did. And 10 years later I still suck at signing it. If I want it to come out all pretty and look decent I have to spell it in my head as I am signing it otherwise it’s one big chicken scratch.
I do wish I had kept my maiden name in my name. However, my name is long enough as it is. I’d really be signing in chicken scratch. It appears my dad and his brother will be the last to carry my maiden name in our family. Neither had boys…..
I plan on taking my future husband’s name, even though I know it will be difficult at first. I know a lot of girls are probably really excited to change their names, but I’m really not a fan of change, and my last name has been with me my whole life!
I changed my name too. Although it was tough because my last name was Bliss. I kept that as my middle name. 🙂
I’m changing my last name when I get married (in 39 days!) but it is a bit nerve racking. I feel like I really identify with being part of my imediate family and its a strange transition to give a part of that up.
Since I’m not engaged yet I don’t know if I will feel differently, but for right now I don’t see myself having a problem letting go of my name. Probably because I have a brother and know it will eventually be carried on through someone else..Who knows? Maybe i’ll have 2 middle names too! 😉
I changed mine 🙂 Although now that my last name is Greek like my husband’s, I can’t stand when people look at my ID and say “are you Greek?” I mean obviously if I have a ring on my finger and I’m married it’s my husband’s name, not mine!
PS-did you change your passport? That took FOREVER for me!
I’ve been married 5.5 years and don’t plan on changing my name. Fortunately, my husband is very supportive of me keeping my maiden name. It’s not traditional, but it works for us!
Congratulations! I wouldn’t change my last name. I feel like my last name is really part of who I am, and I actually think it’s a strong and pretty awesome last name.
Reading this just made me realize that when I get married (152 days!), I will be Carly E. T. _________ (insert new last name). I can hear the “E.T. Phone Home” jokes from my family already….lol. But I agree with you, I don’t want to drop my “Elizabeth” middle name either!
My co-workers and I talk about this all the time. One of my co-workers regrets changing her last name. She adores her husband but feels like she lost part of her identity. My other co-worker hyphenated her last name but it took her almost a year after she was married to go to the SS Office. I really think I’ll do the exact same thing as you Julie.
I chose to keep my last name. I prefer it over my husband’s last name and I also didn’t want to go through the hassle of changing all the documents. I think my husband would have been happier if I had changed it, but he’s ok with it now and we’ll give our future kids his last name to make up for it 🙂
In Minnesota you can do the name change as part of the marriage license process. One simple step. : ) It was hard though! I had a bit of an identity crisis afterward. Now I wish I would’ve kept my maiden name as a second middle name. *sigh* live and learn, I guess!
I’m going to change my name too. I totally get where you’re coming from though! It’s weird to think about not going by the same last name I’ve had my whole life! I’m trying to decide if I’m going to drop my middle name “Nicole” and just make my maiden name my middle name…aaahhh! So many decisions! I’m glad you got that SS office out of the way. I went with my friend when she changed hers..we were there for 2 hours!!
I’m getting married on Saturday (eeeek!! :-D) and we’ll both become Mr/Mrs HisName-My Name. I wouldn’t normally go double barrelled but as our daughter has my surname (had her before I met Liam) and our son has double barrelled, it makes sense for us all become double barrelled. Plus whenever anyone says Mrs HisName it makes me think of his mother and I’m not quite ready to become her just yet!!! 🙂
i’m currently having this debate with myself, as i’m getting married in about 2 months (yikes!)
as much as i’d like to hyphenate, i think i’m going to do what you did and move my maiden name as part of my middle name!
Nice! The new name sounds great. When I got married, I dropped my middle name (Anne) because it really had no significance. I made my middle name my maiden name and took my husband’s name as my last name (kind of like what you did!)
I originally just figured I would drop my maiden name, but when it came time to actually changing it I got sentimental for some reason! 🙂
When I changed my name, it was harder than I thought. I just felt like the people I met after I changed my name would never know me as Kelsey Childress, only as Kelsey Jones, and it was like the Childress part didn’t exist any more. Of course that is not true at all but at the time that’s what I was thinking!
I can’t think of a reason to change the name I’ve had for just about 29 years. My partner agrees and wouldn’t carte if I didn’t take his name. He has no interest in changing his, so he can’t see why he’d have a reason to be interested in me changing mine.
I did the same thing as you and for the same reasons 🙂 I went from Rachel Kim Cannon (I adored my maiden name!) to Rachel Kim Cannon Humiston!
Julie, I related to this post so much!! My husband and I got married on May 21st and I went the next week to change my name. I wasn’t ready for it yet! While I am Katie Bagby now and wouldn’t have it any other way, it’s so hard to give your name up! I keep introducing myself as Katie McNeal, so obviously my sub-conscious hasn’t caught on to the marriage yet. haha
Wish I would have kept my maiden name as a middle name – I like the idea of still having that connection to my family!
I am struggleing with this now. I’m getting married next Spring and while I would love to share a name with my husband (and any future kids) I love my last name. Maybe I will turn it into a middle name though.
I’ve always wanted to change my last name…but my bf’s last name is Dorka. Omg, seriously, Lindsay Dorka? I just crack up at it…and so does he, so I’m not being mean :).
I would only change my last name if it sounded good 😉
Congrats on the cool new initials! And I think it’s great you waited to do it. I jumped in immediately and changed mine the day after I returned from my honeymoon, because that’s what I thought I was supposed and expected to do. I regretted it for awhile, not because I didn’t love my husband and want to do it, but because the name, and what seemed like the identity, I had for 26 years was abruptly taken from me, with no time to morn its loss. 5 years later, I’m okay with it now, but really wish I thought about keeping my maiden name as part of my name (without dropping my middle name or hypenating my last.)
I am pretty positive I will change my name when I get married. I have some ideas about when I have kids though, because I like what my parents did. My middle name is my mom’s maiden name. She had a friend that did the same thing with all of her kids (5!) so she chose to do the same thing with my sister and I. It really is great, because we have both family names included.
I did change my name, left the middle and dropped my last. 3 years later I kind of wish that I would have just added his because like you I adore my LN and what it represented. But this is life and am proud to take his.
A lot of my friends still call me by my last name though and anytime im doing something difficult (like a race, lifting or being stubborn) I always refer to it as a “last name” moment.
Yes! And thank goodness I did. My maiden name was not good. ha!
If I had an awesome last name I might consider keeping mine…but I don’t…it’s Beeks. I have to say, it would sort of depend on the guys last name in some regards, but I think it’s a bond that married couples should share!
Ah! The name question! I can totally relate, I’ve been married for two years now and haven’t changed mine yet- which causes some teasing at work… My husband and I are both military so it’s REALLY obvious. I know I’ll change it eventually, I delayed becuase changing it in the military as a pilot required changing ALL of your records. Right now it’s a bargaining tool to get my husband to get rid of this truly horrendous couch he inherited from his dad’s bachelor days (read: his mother finally was able to get rid of it) Honestly, I think I would have had less of a problem with the change before I joined, but now my last name gets used more than my first!
Also, my married name would be Jenny Campbell, and I grew up with her! It’d be way too weird…. Maybe just Jen Campbell?
I’ve thought about that before and decided that I would keep my maiden name in addition to my husband’s. Like you! I also don’t really like the hyphen, so won’t be adopting that.
Also..we have the same middle name!
I’ll probably end up doing the same thing you did. I love the idea of keeping my name, but also taking my future husband’s last name.
I had the same ‘problem’. I liked my first name but had never ‘gone’ by it. I wasn’t about to drop my maiden name…so many months later, I need up with a double first name — but still only use the name I have always gone by. Eight years later, it still works for me. I didn’t want to change my name, but thought if we had a child, I’d want us all to have the same name –that was my ultimate deciding factor. Hope you enjoy your ‘new’ name!
It took me over a year to change my last name, and it drove my husband crazy! We got married in June, but had already booked tickets to Palm Springs the next May, and being Canadian I had to have the tickets booked in the same name that was on my passport.
Legally though, once you sign the marriage register where I live you take the new last name automatically, and have to get it legally changed back if you don’t want it after it has been filed. Crazy, hey?
As an aside, my new last name is Maier (pronounced Meyer, but everyone mispronounces it as Mare). We named our daughter Abrielle (pronounced Ab-rielle) and I get a kick out of her being called at doctor’s offices, etc “Ay-brielle Mare”. Poor baby!
I would not change my name. Until the men share all this anxiety about whether or not to change theirs, I just can’t see it as anything other than a patriarchal practice.
If and when I get married, I’ll definitely take my husband’s name! I just hope it doesn’t end up rhyming or anything (cough “Julia Goolia” from Wedding Singer cough)
I changed my name but kept my maiden name as my middle name. My middle name was Rebecca and since it held no special meaning to me or my family I didn’t mind giving it up.
I kept all my names, just like you. Middle, Maiden and then new married name. I only really use all my names when I signed for my mortgage, (what a pain!) I didn’t want to let go of my names, they are.. me, my middle name is from my mother and my last name is obviously from my dad. My kids all have my married last name.
I’m going through the name change process right now. It’s changed officially but the driver’s license/credit card portion is dragging out, mostly because it’s been inconvenient.
I decided to keep my middle name and my maiden name as middle names as well but when they processed the paperwork they cut off my second middle name (my maiden name) without telling me so I lost my maiden name altogether and I wasn’t quite ready for that. I’m glad you waited until you were ready!
Hi Julie, this is my first time posting but I’ve been reading for a while. Love your blog! I got married in October and did exactly what you did.. kept all my names and then added my husbands. Sometimes I miss my name and wish that I had just kept it, but I think maybe I’ll feel differently once we have kids. My husband also added my maiden name as a middle name, so that was kinda cool 🙂
i got married 2 years ago and did drop my maiden name for my husband’s name. even though i like my maiden name, i wanted to have the same as my husband and didn’t like my initials with my first name, maiden name, and married name…SYK just wasn’t very attractive, i prefer SEK. 🙂
I haven’t changed my name, but I totally respect people that do… its a really personal choice. I just couldn’t imagine being anything different than what I always was. My husband didn’t care, and our children will have his last name. Doesn’t bother me what other people think, although my Mother in law still (after 4 years) writes my name hyphenated, which totally drives me crazy. Its very passive aggressive.
I changed my name within six weeks after our wedding. My maiden name was unusual and hard to pronounce, and my husband’s is much nicer. I kept my maiden as my middle and got rid of my original middle (Ann- total filler name!). I was really happy with my new name, but about a year later, we had moved to a brand new city for my husband’s work and I was working a new job and suddenly I was in the midst of a raging identity crisis. I couldn’t understand how I had this brand new name and a brand new life I would have never chosen if not for my husband. As someone who always planned to change her name, I had not idea how difficult it would actually be. I even toyed with the idea of switching back to my maiden name. Luckily things settled down and I’m happy with my decision to take his 🙂 However, I would encourage people to take a few months to really think about it post-wedding to make sure there are no regrets!
If my boyfriend and I end up getting married, I definitely want to take on his name. It actually means a lot to me to take it.
Ps. His initials are E.B. and my last name is White… E.B.White? I think so!
Congrats on the name change! I think it sounds formal and important. 😛
yayy good on you for changing it finally! I’m definitely changing mine when I get married out of consideration and I guess officially stating that I’m now in a new family. Of course, that doesn’t belittle my family at all in any way, just like you thought. 😀 Anyway~~my last name is Kim and there are soooo many Kims! haha! So I’m excited to become Ellie Betzen. My real name is actually Elizabeth as well! *high five*.
I definitely want to change my last name when I get married. However, I also will have difficulty letting go of my current last name, especially since there aren’t any boys to keep our last name going.
My middle name is also Elizabeth, btw!