A little after 10 a.m., I drove to Marion Senior Services to buddy up with a kind woman named Barbara and head out on my first Meals On Wheels route!
For those of you who may be in the dark about Meals On Wheels, it is an organization dedicated to ending senior hunger. I spoke with a volunteer coordinator and filled out paperwork expressing my interest in delivering meals to seniors in need in the area a few weeks ago and got word on Tuesday that my background check cleared.
Barbara and I left on our route a little before 11 a.m. and delivered meals to homes within a 10 mile radius. The route we completed will be my assigned route a few days a month moving forward and I enjoyed meeting all of the people I will be delivering lunch to in the future.
Some people were very chatty and excited to see what was on the menu for the day while others remained in another room of their house and simply called out for us to leave the food on the table. Meals on Wheels did a great job of detailing some of the obstacles volunteers might face at each residence, making note of the seniors who are hard of hearing, those who cannot answer the door, etc. Knowing a little bit about what to expect made it easier for me to feel prepared walking into someone’s home.
During our last stop of the day, Barbara and I walked into a very emotional situation. We knocked on the door of an elderly couple’s apartment to deliver two lunches to a husband and wife. Their daughter answered the door in tears, informing us that her mother passed away yesterday. It was heartbreaking, especially when she talked about how her dad was coping with the loss of his wife.
When we arrived back at Marion Senior Services, I thanked Barbara and said goodbye to her before speaking with the volunteer coordinator about our last stop of the day. She said that unfortunately things like this happen every so often and can be the hardest part about volunteering with Meals On Wheels since occasionally a death may occur. It was a memorable first day with Meals On Wheels and I cannot stop thinking about our last stop. I am scheduled to deliver meals again next week and hope I can meet the man who lost his wife and be of some comfort during such a difficult time (if he is looking for someone to talk to, that is).
Lunch
When I arrived home, I wasn’t in the mood to cook anything, so I snacked on a pita topped with Alouette Italian herb spreadable cheese while gathering the ingredients I needed to make a smoothie.
To make my smoothie I combined:
- 1 frozen banana
- 1 scoop fitmixer chocolate protein powder
- 1 tbsp. dark chocolate coco powder
- 1 tablespoon almond butter
- 1 handful ice cubes
- 2 handfuls fresh spinach
- Enough almond milk to get everything moving
It was a simple lunch, but a good one.
I hope I can get my head back into the zone today, as I’m having trouble thinking about anything else other than the last stop of my Meals On Wheels route. Even though I didn’t know the woman who passed away, seeing a family so enveloped in grief broke my heart.
Today’s experience made me think about something I read that Cheryl Strayed, the author of Wild, said about grief. “There is no other side where you arrive on the shore and you walk away clean.” Grief is a process and you don’t just wake up “healed” from your hurt one day. Grief is something we carry with us, but along with that grief, I like to think that we carry a little bit of the people we lost with us, too.
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This broke my heart 🙁 i am sorry you had to go through that on your first day! I live with my grandmother and last year we lost my grandpa. Going through the loss of him with my grandmother changed my whole life and how i see losing a loved one. The best way to think about it is: they were able to have a
Nice long and satisfying life! My grandpa was 92 and experienced many amazing things in his life! Hope your day gets a little better!
the hardest part was listening to the woman’s daughter talk about how her dad was handling the death of his wife. i wanted to cry on the spot. it sounds like they had a wonderful, lifelong love.
So sorry to hear about that poor woman 🙁 May she rest in peace. You are such a good person Julie. I need to look into more volunteer opportunities like this. I hope you continue this and update your readers! Once again so very sorry to hear about that family’s loss. 🙁
A smoothie is always a great option when you are in a down mood and not wanting to eat.
That is so awesome that you are volunteering for them. I wish your first day had been more cheerful though. My Grandma gets Meals on Wheels and really appreciates the volunteers, and the food of course! Whenever I’m visiting and they come to deliver her food, I always have a chuckle because they usually give her a little milk carton like you get when you’re in elementary school 🙂
i thought the carton of milk was such an interesting choice, too! definitely reminded me of the high school cafeteria.
I spent many years volunteering at a nursing home. One of the best things I have ever done. My favorite part was calling out BINGO, it was a super competitive game!
I am glad you did not have to deal with today alone, it would have been rough on the first day.
i used to call out bingo at a nursing home, too! i loved it. did the people who won ever try to give you their prize? the prizes we had were silly little things, but the winners would often whisper to the volunteers, “you pick something you like.” it was adorable.
Hahah your nursing home sounds awesome! It “cost” 5 cents to play a card and the winner got all the money. Sooooo they never shared the money with me 😉
That it such a kind and thoughtful act you are doing! It makes me want to get involved with Meals on Wheels. Even though that woman must’ve been going through a lot of pain, I’m sure she appreciated your kindness. I think it’s one of the most rewarding things in life to help someone cope through pain through compassion and understanding.
I’m sorry your first day had a bit of a rough end, but I’m sure you’ll make a difference in a lot of those people’s lives! I bet many enjoy seeing such a cheery face during the day!
As an audiologist the majority of my patients are over the age of 80. I have lost patients before and I have had patients who have lost their spouse too. It is always a hard situation and I completely sympathize with your experience. Just try to remember that the meals that you delivered to that family will give them more time to cope with their loss because they didnt have to cook. So you helped improve their quality of life in a time where they are going through so much.
thanks for this thoughtful comment, laura. my diving coach in high school was a nurse and i remember her coming to practice the day after she experienced the loss of her first patient. i can only imagine how attached you feel to your patients!
aw what a sad first day! I would have cried! It is a good thing your first day was with another person, finding that out on your own would have been pretty tough I think. I hope you can offer support to that man next week! I am sure you will help bring some cheer into his day!
I read your posts daily. Thank you for inspiring me try new things. My dad used to take me out and deliver meals when I was a little kid…something to think about doing again. You’re pretty awesome!
that’s so awesome that you used to do this with your dad! what a wonderful activity!!
aww I’m sorry that happened! Meals on Wheels is a great organization, my Great Aunt had that service
I used to volunteer at the local hospital in the geriatrics ward– I used to love talking to one man in particular who was always so sweet. It was pretty sad finding out he died after I had moved on from that position.
I also used to call bingo and help with weekly bbqs at a nursing home, and unfortunately with that position comes regular death.
It’s really sad, but it definitely comes with the position. Sorry to hear you went through that on your first day, but hopefully the good times overshadow the bad with this position!
I absolutely love that you are volunteering with meals on wheels! I am sure you will be great at comforting the husband next week. I am a social worker (MSW) and am often referring my patients to meals on wheels so it is so appreciated to have volunteers like you to bring warm meals into people’s homes that need the help.
That’s awesome you made time to do that! I wish I could find more time to do things like that.
On a side note, do you put your smoothie cup in the freezer prior to filling it?
i don’t, but it kind of looks like it has that “frosty” look, huh? our dishwasher is on the outs and has been drying soap on the outside of some of our dishes/cups. i scrubbed what i could off, but that’s the frosty look! more than you ever wanted to know… 😉
Random comment, but do you guys use a rinse aid? We weren’t and everything kept coming out filmy and “frosty” looking. We added rinse aid and it was magic! Like getting a new dishwasher.
Wow, that is so tough to walk in on. I love the quote about grief at the end of your post though<—it is something so personal and tough to deal with.
On a lighter note–that smoothie looks delicious!
Oh boy do I remember those moments when I did Meals on Wheels about 12 years ago in San Francisco. Many of the folks who used the service were suffering from HIV-related illnesses and walking in on those very sad situations were the hardest. It was a humbling experience, to say the least and I am so glad I did it. I learned about myself and others and I cherished it. I also was blown away that sometimes I’d be the only person they would see all day and most of them answered the door. Some even had some small chores for me to do for them, like pulling curtains open, taking a bag of trash out or putting the meals in their fridge. Boy does this bring back memories!
Awesome that you are volunteering for Meals on Wheels. So sad that your first day had to end on such a sad note.
This is so sad but so sweet of you to do! I am nursing student and did some clinicals at a Nursing Home and it was very hard to deal with some of the more complicated patients and the precious patients who were so sweet made it well worth it! 🙂 I hope the man opens up to you, I’m sure you would be a great person for him to just talk to! Love your posts! 😀
Oh my goodness; that’s so sad. My mom helps with Meals on Wheels through her job, & some of the situation can be very sad. It’s a great thing you’re doing though!
Julie you are doing such a wonderful thing with Meals on Wheels. My mother-in-law lived a Nursing home for a very short time and passed away almost 2 years ago (8/29/10) it was so sad to visit the nursing home and talk with the residents. Many times my husband and I were the only visitors that they had. You are the life line to many of the seniors when delivering their meals. I commend you for volunteering…
I love your post and follow it daily…thanks for being you
That’s so sad! I would have trouble concentrating on anything else too..I mean, to hear that on your first day. You should be so proud of yourself for volunteering for such an awesome organization!
I volunteer for Meals on Wheels also! It’s tough hearing of a loss of one of your stops like that. There was this sweet, oh my gosh super sweet, old man who had the cutest dog who everytime we gave him his food, let us know he was 93 years old! Very cool! He passed away peacefully in his home a year after we started our deliveries. How nice it was to get to know him, if briefly.
I’m a cancer researcher and I also work in the hospital (writing new grants and helping to set up clinical trials as needed) so I meet a lot of people who tell me really emotional stories about loved ones and cancer. I deal a lot with death and dying trying to develop a cure, but it always affects me when people are so open with me and want to share their stories-and I’ve been doing this for years!
awww man~what a crazy and emotional story. I pray for that family to find comfort as they grieve through these times…And I’m so glad you’re doing this work! I have never thought of meals on wheels simply because I wasn’t familiar with it, although I’ve helped at plenty of kitchens and shelters. I think that’s one of the greatest joys–being able to comfort others in need–but the funny thing is we always end up being blessed, even when we think we can give something to them. I hope you keep growing and being blessed through this experience!
I’m so sorry, Julie! Volunteering for MOW is such an amazing thing…the elderly really do appreciate it…but times like that can be so hard to deal with. You just have to take comfort in the fact that you really are doing all that you can. 🙂
My mom did Meals on Wheels for years and, when I was really young, I remember going on routes with her while I was home for school vacation. It was really hard for me to go in when people were so secluded and depressed. There were always happy people too but I just wanted to give so many of them a big hug and let them know that I was there for them.
Thank you for sharing this! Volunteering is such a great thing to do and so often our seniors are under served.
I work in critical care and this is the hardest part of my job, I carry the families devastation with me. It touches you in a way you never let go. Every death touches me differently, but it still lingers with me.
Families, like nurses, probably don’t remember your name or even your face, but they will remember how you made them feel. Best of luck!
That’s so sad, I’m sorry you had to experience that (I’m sorry for the family as well). You are doing a great thing for all of the seniors though, being involved in this organization!
My mom has been doing Meals on Wheels for many years now. Sometimes she has the occasional Sr. who loves to talk (watch out b/c you don’t want to end up in a gab fest and be late to your other clients).
My parents just started doing this back in my home town. I asked them how they handled it so far and luckily it has gone really well. They like to get to know some of the people a bit more and bring them an extra banana or item just to cheer them up a bit more.
I don’t think this is a volunteer position for the weak, it is very selfless work. I was impressed when my parents decide to do it and I’m impressed again by you. Good job and I hope that things get a little easier for you in transitioning into this new situation.
Let yourself feel sad for this woman–it’s okay to grieve for people you’ve never met, even in situations as transient as yours was today. I think our society is really weird about grief and acts like it’s something we should only feel under very trying circumstances, but it’s okay (and normal) to feel it other times too like you did today for this woman. Remind yourself that you did her family a great thing by bringing food, and that not having to cook even one meal is a huge comfort and load off the mind for the family.
That is a very touching and emotional experience, hopefully he will want to talk to you since I think that you would help him immensely.
wow what a sad first day! This is great that you are helping out though!
Sorry you had to experience that… I work for a nonprofit organization with older adults (wish I hadn’t missed the deadline to submit a story! http://www.fostergrandparentprogram.org) and unfortunately what you experienced is a side effect of working with people who are later in life.
With that, I think it’s incredible and you will learn so much from their experiences and skills and life lessons. Take it all in and keep up the good work!
That must have been hard, I’m sorry. I’m sure many seniors will be very happy to have a cheerful and thoughtful person, such as yourself, deliver meals.
My mom is a nurse at a Hospice. I don’t know how she does it! I think she really just enjoys being able to help those in need. I’m sure you will feel the same way about this volunteer experience.
I did meals on wheels for awhile.it was such a rewarding experience. Some of those people have little contact with others. You may be the only person they see for days. I’m sure you were told to report if you go to deliver and the person does not answer the door or something seems wrong. One of the added advantages of having someone deliver meals is that someone will be checking on them. Your first day was a little bit stressful. Something that I did was as I drove from home to home I prayed for each person on my route that the food would nourish them and they would feel cared for by having me stop in to see them and bring it. As a drove away I prayed about what ever was going on with them whether it was loneliness, poor health etc. This helped me to deal with some of the sad things I saw. You sound well suited for this job I am happy that you are doing it. The people are so sweet you will love it.
I am so sorry to hear of your first days experience. There is a scripture I like to share with people in situations such as this (as well as to remind myself) and it is found at Revelation 21:3,4. Hang in there. What you are doing by volunteering for our elderly is very special.
This breaks my heart! What a first day! I’ve been interested in volunteering for Meals on Wheels forever and I”m not sure if this post made me want to more or less haha! I’m sure you’ll do great volunteering! Good luck with your future trips!
Sorry about that last stop. I find every time I come into contact with death, whether it was someone I knew or not, it strikes a chord–I guess mortality isn’t something we like to think about (particularly not in relation to the people we love!).
Off topic, I live in the SF area, and this morning the local NPR station had Cheryl Strayed on a program called Forum. I haven’t read Wild, but I remember you said you weren’t able to understand or really like her in the memoir, which I thought was interesting as she sounded so warm and thoughtful in this interview. Might be worth a listen if you want more insight! You can stream or download it here if you’re interested:
http://www.kqed.org/a/forum/R201208021000
That would be so sad :(. It sounds like you handled it well, and hopefully you can be of some comfort next week if he needs it! I’m sure it takes years to heal from a loss like that.
Oh, how sad! I’m sorry.. That’s nice of you to volunteer though.
I do Meals on Wheels through my JuniorLeague as well. MOW isn’t just for the elderly, it provides meals for the homebound of all ages. It is generally a heart breaking situation, to see people who don’t have much support around them. Really provides some prospective as to how lucky most of us really are, which is why I go back each week.
I’m in tears right now just reading about your experience. I just lost my grandfather a year ago and everything you say about grief is true. There are some days when I’m fine and some days where it just hits me so hard that it’s impossible to breathe.
I think what you’re doing is great. I honestly do. And it takes someone of huge emotional strength and a heart of gold to do it. I’m sure they love having people like you volunteer with their organization – just your presence can make all the difference in the world….
“I am scheduled to deliver meals again next week and hope I can meet the man who lost his wife and be of some comfort during such a difficult time (if he is looking for someone to talk to, that is).”
It is great that you are doing Meals on Wheels, but this would be highly unprofessional. Just be friendly and smile, that’s really all the job entails.
I’ve been delivering meals on wheels for over 4 tea now and it’s one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I started when I was only working part time and have continued since I’ve been working full time again because I an so dedicated to the people in my route. I hope you stock with it!
I love that you are willing to reach out and be a comfort to the gentleman who lost his wife and love. So many times, people can be a bit awkward in situations like that because they don’t know what to say. Coming from someone who has lost both my father and my brother, when someone offered a condolence, it always meant so much to me!!
I visited a Meal on Wheels headquarters yesterday and learned about all the organization and processes that take place there (I work for a family foundation that supports nonprofits). They really do some amazing work and I admire you for volunteering with them. Certainly their drivers have one of the toughest jobs, as you witnessed today. The elderly hold a special place in my heart because I feel we can learn so much from them and yet they sometimes seem so neglected from society. I’m looking forward to reading more about your experience!
It’s a beautiful thing what you are doing, remember that when situations like these happen.
I volunteered at a alzheimer’s community. There was a woman there who always walked around dressed up with shoes on and purse in hand, no matter what. Every night before bed, the nurses would play and movie and after she would become hysterical everytime they tried to show her to her room. The last memory she had was her son dropping her off at the community, telling her she was going to see a movie and he would pick her up when it was over.
Absolutely broke my heart.
Gosh that is so sad but I’m just by dropping off meals is providing somewhat of a comfort too- Meals on Wheels sounds like such an admirable organisation!
Oh Julie, that is so heartbreaking! What an intense day for her family and for you.
Meals on Wheels is such a great service though, and I’m sure you will have mostly positive experiences as you contribute to these peoples’ livelihood.
God bless people like you who are willing and able to do this. My grandparents used this service for a few years after Grandma got Alzheimers and would forget how to cook or worse to turn off the stove. Grandpa was a sweetie that everyone cooed over and that made Grandma jealous as she was sure they were trying to steal her (90+ year old) husband. I’m sure those people had a few stories.
Unfortunately, I lost my last 3 grandparents in July 2010, all within 4 weeks of each other. They all lived long lives and we have many people like you to thank for making their lives happy and comfortable in their last couple years.
that post broke my heart. how wonderful they had a long life together though. when i hear of incidents like that i have a very hard time shaking it. it makes me dwell and worry about the future. how do you shake it!? so many older people need companionship even if its just a couple minutes dropping off a meal. when i read your post first introducing your plan to volunteer, i thought to myself what a selfless act and i think its such a worthwhile way to spend a few hours of your day … the world needs more julies! hee! 🙂