Rhett is our third baby and as I think many parents of multiples would agree, our confidence is higher this time. The little things like learning how to swaddle or use a breast pump feel like second nature and alleviate some of the “I don’t know what I’m doing” stress that comes along with a newborn in the beginning… And yet every baby is different and brings about different challenges and I’m realizing that’s basically motherhood in nutshell. You finally hit your groove and things feel smooth with your children and BAM something new pops up and it’s back to doing your best to figure out what will work for your kids. But I’m getting ahead of myself! Let’s break this one-month update into sections because my brain feels like it’s in a bit of a haze and I’m admittedly feeling foggy at the moment so an organized one month update is right up my alley.
Rhett: One Month In
First, let’s start on a high note. Our sweet baby boy! Rhett is the snuggliest little baby. His happy place is in our arms and watching him fall asleep on my chest and seeing his tiny little mouth fall open as he drifts into a deep sleep will never, ever get old.
He seems to like tummy time and with every week that passes, he becomes increasingly alert. He loves being outside and does well when we walk around with him in a baby carrier. Rhett also handles his big brothers’ attention like a champ, even when Ryder plops a toy on his face or Chase takes sweet brother cuddles to the extreme and opts for a full-body cuddle session. When we prop him up and let him watch Ryder and Chase play, he seems to enjoy observing them and I have a feeling this will only continue until he joins in the craziness!
My favorite moments with Rhett often occur right before bedtime. I nurse him from a side-lying position and he snuggles right up into me and eats and eats until he falls into a deep sleep. I often talk to Ryan or read on my Kindle until I know he’s really out and I think I have at least 100 pictures of him on my phone that I snap right after I carefully get up off the bed because his little body looks so peaceful and content.
As far as the moments after our sweet pre-bedtime ritual… That’s when things seem to kick into high gear and get a little intense.
Reflux Struggles
About two weeks after Rhett’s arrival, we began to notice spit up after feedings with increasing regularity. He also seemed more and more bothered by gas and our nighttime sleep got worse and worse. While Rhett happily snoozed away in our arms, within 5 minutes of transferring him to his bassinet, he would wake up and fuss until he cried and we scooped him up again. Night after night of this took its toll on us and sleep for long stretches didn’t happen. I should probably update that last sentence to reflect the present tense because long stretches of sleep still aren’t happening and a two-hour stretch of sleep without interruption is good for us right now.
We’re learning how to best handle life on little sleep which is no joke when you have three kids to care for all day long. Chase was not a good sleeper but resting with him on my chest in the day after a bad night of sleep was an option whereas that is simply not reality right now. It’s a struggle but we’re managing and while I’m still basically the point person for Rhett thanks to nursing (my choice, I know, as I don’t love pumping), Ryan is really good about taking him out of our bedroom or walking around with him to calm him to give me stretches of sleep where I’m not holding Rhett or half-sleeping on high-alert as I listen for Rhett to need comforting. Weekends also often serve as chill time for me when Ryan can take Chase and Ryder off on some Dad-only adventures and I can rest at home with Rhett.
At Rhett’s one month pediatric visit, our pediatrician said Rhett’s weight gain is great (he actually jumped up from the 8th percentile to the 18th) and since Rhett doesn’t scream and cry when he spits up (it more or less rolls out of his mouth unless it comes out of his nose which obviously bothers him), he didn’t think medication was necessary. He recommended beginning a probiotic, keeping Rhett upright for 30 minutes after every feeding and propping up his bassinet so he could sleep on a slight incline. While this trifecta seems to be helping a little bit, it’s far from the answer to our struggles, though a couple of nights we managed to get a three-hour stretch of sleep which felt like a huge victory. Rhett still really, really wants to be held or snuggled up right next to me in bed which is so draining.
I know this is a phase and will come and go eventually and we’re doing okay on the lack of sleep, all things considered. I’m also a couple of days into cutting dairy out of my diet and I am curious to see if that makes a difference, though based on Rhett’s diapers, my pediatrician doesn’t think this is an issue for Rhett at the moment. We’ll see! Until then, Rhett will be getting a lot of cuddle time 24/7 and lots of time in the baby carrier and swing during the day!
Postpartum Recovery
I know postpartum recovery varies so much and I feel incredibly lucky because my labor and delivery and postpartum recovery this time around has been my easiest. Rhett was a small baby (5 lbs. 13 ounces), which I’m sure helped recovery from his vaginal birth since I was fortunate to not need any stitches at all. Bleeding has dropped off dramatically and I have my 6-week postpartum checkup next week.
As far as my activity level is concerned, this is the most sedentary I’ve been after the arrival of a baby and that’s mostly because of a stress fracture in my right foot. (It’s thankfully healing well and I’m now able to be out of the boot here and there.) I REALLY miss walking and have such wonderful memories of walking with Chase and Ryder when they were newborn babies but I told Ryan that perhaps this stress fracture is some kind of a blessing in disguise because it has forced me to do a lot of sitting and step back from activities I might have otherwise embraced. Every single weekend and on many weeknights Ryan takes the big boys off on outdoor adventures that I wish I could be a part of… and yet another part of me cherishes the solo snuggle time with Rhett and knows my body can only benefit from increased rest right now. I know I have years of family adventures ahead of me but only a few short months of time when Rhett will fall asleep on my chest and I’m cherishing couch snuggles while Ryan has some quality dad time with our big boys.
In terms of postpartum fitness plans, I haven’t thought about it too much. In the past I’ve shuffled between my own workouts at the YMCA and Burn Boot Camp workouts but with the pandemic, I’m not currently comfortable bringing our kids to childcare yet so I have a feeling that short 20-minute garage workouts may be my focus, though I can also see fitness taking a bit of a backseat for a while, especially since our nighttime sleep is pretty awful at the moment. Without childcare in place for any of our kids beyond preschool (a decision that could change, if necessary), finding pockets of time to work out and juggle working from home overwhelms me as it is, so I am giving myself grace as I navigate postpartum life.
As far as food is concerned, the past month has looked like a lot of sugar and treats and not a ton of vegetables. Dinners have thankfully been mostly “real food” thanks to my mom’s help, meals from friends and a little extra effort on my part to get at least one decent meal in my belly, but breakfast and lunch often looked more like tons of one-handed snacks consumed all morning and afternoon as intense nursing hunger surfaced. As of last week, I started to feel a little more motivation to change this and a desire to get back in the kitchen (something I genuinely enjoy) and notice that the days when I take the time to really feed myself wholesome foods, I feel better and more energetic which is great motivation to prioritize healthy eating.
Rhett, Ryder, Chase and Sadie
From the moment we brought Rhett home, Chase and Ryder became two very enthusiastic members of the Baby Rhett Fan Club. They love holding him, bringing him toys, playing with him on his play mat, talking to him in high-pitched baby voices (even higher than their already very high little voices!) and I could not be more pleased with the way they’ve fully embraced the newest member of their brother tribe.
I was admittedly worried about jealousy and resentment and while I know that can and likely will still surface at some point, right now we’re in a good spot. Most of the sibling struggles over here center around Chase and Ryder and don’t involve the baby and are just typical brother battles (sharing, who gets to do something first, etc.).
The times I’ve found myself most overwhelmed with three children occur when Rhett is crying or fussy and Ryder is also feeling needy or something happens when I need to discipline the boys and I cannot tend to everything at once. These are the moments when mom guilt surfaces because I cannot go to all of my children simultaneously and give them undivided attention or handle immediate discipline with Chase and Ryder in the way I typically would when I’m not soothing a baby. While sometimes these moments feel like they escalate quickly, I can typically calm Rhett to the point where I can hold him while addressing any disciplinary actions with Chase and Ryder or showing them love to the point that they calm down enough for me to settle Rhett before returning to the big boys.
As far as how Sadie is adjusting to our newest addition, it’s basically been a non-event for her. She struggled the most when we brought Chase home from the hospital because things like us playing on the floor with the baby or talking in high-pitched baby voices used to be things reserved exclusively for her and I’m sure that was all a bit confusing. Now she totally gets the baby thing and seems to realize they’re not going anywhere so she just rolls with the punches.
Sadie still likes to put her butt on me when I’m nursing and definitely doesn’t shy away from seeking cuddles in while I’m on the couch with Rhett. There’s no doubt about it — she’s still the princess of this house!
Embracing Help + Daily Life
I feel like this is a section that needs to be amplified because my stress level likely would’ve skyrocketed early on had I not said yes to my mom’s generous offer to come stay with our family for the first few weeks of Rhett’s life. If I looked like I had everything together on the blog at some point over the course of the past month, it’s because of my mom. Ryan didn’t take any structured paternity leave (the pandemic and working from home really blurred these lines) and while his days were a little flexible in the first week or two after we brought Rhett home, my mom really helped both of us a TON during the day, especially with Chase and Ryder. So many people encouraged me to embrace the help of others and when the moms of 3+ kids I spoke with before we had Rhett told me in no uncertain terms that having three kids is a game changer and kicks the crazy up about 10 notches, I took their words seriously and tried my best to heed their advice and said YES when help was offered.
When friends offer to bring us dinner, I say yes. When we found out our preschool would be opening in the fall and offer a place for Chase and Ryder to go (5 mornings a week for Chase, 2 for Ryder), I said yes. I’ve embraced services like Instacart, Blue Apron, Target curbside pickup and Amazon Prime like never before. Anything that can streamline my life and make things easier, I’m all for right now.
In terms of how daily life is going over here, I truly feel incredibly happy every single day, despite bags under my eyes and many back-to-back sleepless nights. There are moments that feel overwhelming and days that drain me but, for the most part, life with three kids is wonderful. As Ryan says, we’re “currently living life at the intersection of crazy and blessed” and I could not agree more. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel incredibly grateful for our three children and Ryan and the family we’ve built. Newborn days have their challenges and going from two kids to three naturally takes some adjusting but we’re figuring things out little by little and I’m enjoying the process so much. I love our three boys and being their mom brings me so much joy, even on the challenging days.
In terms of baby updates, moving forward, I’m not planning on sharing monthly updates but, much like I did after Ryder was born, I’m planning to check in here and there and give updates when I feel compelled to share or when big changes happen that feel worth noting on the blog. In the meantime, as always I want to thank you guys so much for following my life and our family and for the support I feel from you every time I open up and share a little bit more about what life really looks like behind quick snapshots and a few smiling photos. Your encouragement lifts me up more than you know and I appreciate it so much!
Newborn Baby Favorites
Sleep
- Chicco Lullago Portable Bassinet
- Swaddle Me By Your Side Sleeper
- Owlet Smart Sock Baby Monitor (so helpful for my peace of mind)
- Hatch Light Sound Machine + Night Light
- Light My Way Nightlight (we got this for Chase but I’m borrowing it because it’s the best portable nightlight I can carry anywhere)
- Ollie Swaddles (hands down the BEST swaddle around)
- Wubbanub
On the Go
- Doona Car Seat Stroller (a car seat + stroller in one — our big splurge and worth every penny!)
- Colugo Carrier (new to me with baby #3 and without a doubt my favorite carrier I’ve ever used as it’s very supportive and incredibly easy to use.)
- Baby K’Tan (love this carrier for the early months because it’s so snuggly)
Around the House
- MamaRoo Infant Baby Swing (we are borrowing this and it’s great — waaay better than the RockARoo I previously purchased that both boys hated)
- Graco Slim Spaces Compact Swing (another item we’re borrowing that Rhett seems to love)
- Dock-a-Tot
- Snuggle Nest Portable Infant Sleeper (we use this as a portable changing table downstairs)
- Boppy Newborn Lounger
- Play Mat
Nursing/Feeding
- My Brest Friend Nursing Pillow
- Boppy Nursing Pillow
- Silicone Breast Pump
- Burt’s Bees Burp Cloths (my favorite because they’re so soft)
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Hi Julie, loved reading this update! I’ve followed you since Chase was just a baby. I’m currently expecting #2, with a 3yo in tow. With regard to your lack of sleep, how do you prevent it from totally taking over your mood? I struggled with feeding my first, and got no more than about 2 hr stretches of sleep for months and it spiraled into post partum depression.
Life is so hard with no sleep! I struggled so much with our little guy in the beginning bc I am nursing him as well so that made me sole provider at night. It was so hard and I was so frustrated since I also have a two year old. Everyone told me at the 6 week mark things would get better… ha they did not for us. It was at that time though that I gave myself grace and let the pressure of everything else fall away and I just focused on keeping my boys fed and taken care of and happy. At 9 weeks we finally started sleeping at night and now at 13 weeks I can say our nights are 95% good ones! Thinking of you, hang in there!! I always tell myself the days are long sometimes but the years are always too short ♥️
Thank you for sharing!
Always love your updates!!!
Sounds like your doing a great job!!!
Keep up the good work!!!
Big hug!!!
Thank you so much for sharing. I’m pregnant with baby #3 due in December. I’m very nervous about the 2-3 transition and the lack of sleep with a newborn. This was such a great encouragement!
Congrats Julie, Rhett is adorable, as are Chase and Ryder. Beautiful family! Praying you get longer stretches of sleep coming soon. Those first months are so precious but rough when your working with a few hours of sleep. I have two boys (5 & 2) and they both to this day are not the best sleepers. Something happened to my youngest when he turned 1 and he would literally wake up every two hours crying. Usually taking awhile to fall back asleep. 🤤 Take advantage of any help/service/time alone you can get! I really enjoy your blog but give yourself grace if you can’t post because we get it! 🙂
I currently have a nine month old and a 3 year old. My 9 month old has never slept more than 3 hours at night. It is a real struggle some days. It affects my anxiety level, patience and mood. I nap when I can, and have learned to let a lot go. We don’t really go anywhere—and our days are simple as possible. I know one day, sleep will get better. My first was a champion sleeper! I’m a nurse, so when I’m not at home, I’m also ‘on’ all day. I miss working out and having a ‘routine’. But I know that I will also miss my babies being babies.
Congratulations on that beautiful baby boy!!!! My third was a reflux baby too, and sounds a lot like Rhett. She also didn’t need medication, but sleeping on her back was a struggle. There was no magical cure for us, but over time she just grew out of it. We implemented a lot of the things you mentioned, and also only nursed on one side at a time for the first few months (alternated which side at each feeding) I found nursing longer on the same side, often with me reclined, did seem to help. It felt unnatural to me because I didn’t do that with my first two but a friend recommended it. Anyway, it could be something else to try. So glad to hear you’re giving yourself grace and riding the crazy waves of newborn life 🙂
Hey Julie! I just want to say that my now one year old diapers didn’t seem to show that dairy was an issue, yet cutting it made a huge difference in her reflux. Hang in there!
I whole heartedly agree. No dairy was a game changer. And you really have to give it like two weeks for your dairy to leave your system. Don’t worry you can still eat Oreos and Twizzlers to get your sugar fix😉
It makes me so sad that not everywhere provides paternity leave! Here in Australia the government pays for 2 weeks for dads and while it’s not a hugely long time it’s certainly worth the extra bonding time!
Also I’m at 6 months with my boy and we hardly ever get longer than 2 hours sleep…. and that’s without reflux! I’m hoping future babies don’t follow the same track :/
Julie your family is amazing and beautiful and I couldn’t be happier for you. I have followed you for many years through all the blessings and the very hard times. The pictures of the Chase and Ryder with Rhett are incredible. The love is so apparent in their eyes. My heart is so very happy for you!
Thank you for sharing some of your journey with us! I love that you are real and share the good and the not-as-good moments. You are real and very inspiring. I hope you all find your groove and that Rhett is able to find comfort and sleep better.
He is SO cute, Julie! You’re doing amazing…not having proper sleep and trying to function like normal is soooo tough. I could be making this up but I feel like Alyssa Milano had some sort of baby bed that attached to her bed… So that the baby felt like they were close to their mom but they were really sleeping separately. I have two boys who love to snuggle with Mommy…and eventually co slept once they were bigger. My second slept in the Rock and play (now recalled sadly) as a newborn and I’m trying to remember where my first slept during the newborn phase (he’s almost 10 now so it’s hard to remember!) I remember trying to use one of those special pillows with a slant in the crib but it didn’t work.
It was one of those pillows that went under the crib sheet!
From the outside, I was like “Wow, Julie is doing so much!! I am soo impressed!!”. I had my first baby in March and didn’t do ANYTHING other than sit around all day watching HGTV. It was a big day if I went and sat in the backyard for 20 mins! I also had an easy L&D with no tears… but it seems to the objective eye that you’re handling everything in stride! I really truly appreciate your updates, I’ve followed you for years and you’ve been a big Mama inspiration to me. (and will continue to be as we hopefully grow our family). Hope you’re feeling better and better each day 🙂
From someone who followed Baby Wise, the paragraph where you mention nursing him to sleep, I have to say makes me cringe… sorry 🙁 I can only think how doing that leads instantly into him screaming when you move him to the bassinet. I remember reading if they don’t remember falling asleep (when they don’t have to work at it on their own) then the chances of them startling back awake are so much greater. Then of course they don’t know what to do so in comes a parent… However, I completely get this is your third child and you do what works best for your family. I’m just being honest! And truly mean no judgment (I mean it doesn’t affect me at all if this is what you chose :)) But that would have not worked for us — we did eat, play, sleep, even at bedtime/middle of night feedings (diaper change was our ‘play’). I do however, wish you only the best and appreciate getting to read how your family is doing. You seem so capable and strong and your family is lucky to have you!
Thanks for sharing an update, I’ve loved reading along as your family has grown.
Pre-kids I was always so anti sleeping with your kids (so naive to think I knew anything before kids!!) and then my second daughter had reflux issues like Rhett and I held her on my chest every single night until 5 months when she decided she was ready for her crib. I hope that you give yourself the grace to do whatever is necessary to get through this phase. Fingers and toes crossed cutting out dairy helps!
Hi Julie, I also had a third baby that sounds very similar to Rhett as far as some reflux and wanting to be held all day and night. Hang in there! I just wanted to share a (non-affiliated) fitness resource that helped me sooo much after my third baby when I wasn’t comfortable taking him to gym childcare yet (then the pandemic hit, and it’s been a lifesaver for my sanity). Check out MommaStrong (.com). Daily 5-15 minute workouts specifically for each stage of pregnancy and postpartum. It is so informative too, and honestly even sometimes like a hug for your soul, especially in the early days of new baby when you need to treat yourself with grace when it comes to fitness.
That is so nice that your mom was able to help out. That’s a win/win for everyone as I am sure she enjoyed her time and all of you loved having her around. I’m grateful that our son will be able to continue to go to daycare after #2 is born in December. I know that is not an option for everyone, but I’m glad it is for us and I was relieved when his pediatrician said that sending him back right away is the best decision for everyone. We’ll keep him home for the week before my c-section to further reduce our risk of getting covid but it’s nice to know he can go back after that.
I like that you emphasize that fitting in workouts is not happening and THAT IS OK. I feel like there is so much pressure on moms to get back to normal activity ASAP. But if you aren’t sleeping and are just exhausted, it’s not a bad idea to give yourself a pass until life feels a bit more manageable. I’m not looking forward to the lack of sleep that comes with the newborn stage, but I am excited for the cuddles and snuggles. Everyone tells you time goes fast but until you experience, you don’t realize just how fast it goes – and how quickly the baby can be done with being snuggly. In our case, once our son could roll around/crawl/sit-up, he was not interested in cuddling/snuggling. So that snuggly phase was quite short in hindsight. So I plan to really soak it up this time around!
Hi Julie! My son also had bad reflux as a baby that our doctor didn’t seem concerned about, but I cut out dairy and it helped him a TON! Wishing you the best of luck 🙂
Hey Julie! I loved the update. Your family is so precious. I’m in a boot for a stress fracture too and discovered this leveler for the other shoe so that you’re not lopsided walking. It has made me SO much more comfortable I wanted to let you know in case you haven’t seen them. I would have bought it on day 1 if I had realized how much it would help. Have a great day!!
https://www.amazon.com/Original-EVENupTM-Shoe-Balancer-Leveler/dp/B07QTPMTFG
Rhett is so cute! You are doing great! Admitting you need help and asking for it are so good. My second had reflux, but not enough that she needed medication. One thing that I cut out of my diet…chocolate. I noticed in a previous post that you said you were grabbing handfuls of chocolate chips to snack on (I literally buy bags to snack on and bags to bake with!). It didn’t solve the problem, but it seriously made a difference. We also got a bassinet incline wedge sleep positioner for her and that was a hit. With my son, his issue was putting him down in the bassinet. We’re pretty sure it was too cold for him, so we put a heating pad on the bassinet while we did the bed time routine, then took it off right before we laid him down. It made a nice warm transition for him!
Thanks for sharing your journey!
Hi Julie, congrats on your newest addition. I just had my third baby in May. All three of mine had/have reflux issues. I nursed all three, also hate pumping so I get where you are coming from. With my first, I avoided medication and just gave up dairy and soy, which helped, but we never got more than a three hour stretch until after one year. With my second I avoided dairy/soy and began medication at 2 weeks. She also slept at an incline. She slept well shortly after medication, stopped needing it by 6 months. By #3 I knew the drill, cut dairy/soy, medication started at 2 weeks and I give gas drops on super fussy nights. She also slept at an incline for the first 4 months. I used the graco glider bassinet and loved it so much. She can sleep flat now at almost 5 months. …. My first was the only one who had the classic blood in the stool, but they all benefited when I cleaned up my diet. I have “happy spitters” too, but trust me the reflux medication was a game changer, do not be afraid to try it. Around 4-6 months it gets easier when they can start solids and soak up some acid.
That was long winded but my brain is also fog, a 4 yr old, 2 yr old and baby will do that to you, haha. Hope that was at least semi helpful and hang in there.
Aw if you need more help totally hire a nappy or get Ryder in another morning or 2 at pre school!
3 kids at home would be so hard!
I admire your positive attitude! Gratitude and thankfulness are so important to fighting those feelings of despair that can set in during the night when you are waking up for the 4th time. I always remind myself of the immense blessing it is to have healthy children! I currently have a 1 week old and a 19 month old at home and the 1 week old is waking up every 1-2 hours at night to nurse. I find that prayer before bed asking God to be my sustainer and provider of patience, energy, and love all throughout the night has really helped me keep a good perspective and attitude as I get up to feed my baby throughout the night. I rest in the promise that He is faithful to provide what is needed for me to fulfill my calling to motherhood.
I’d recommend cutting out dairy! That helped our reflux SO SO much!!!!
Like others have stated, cutting out dairy was huge for my daughter. She also had no signs in her diapers that dairy was an issue. She was so, so, SO gassy and spit up all the time. She was still spitting up at nearly a year old! It wasn’t until then that I cut out dairy and the change was dramatic. It can take several weeks for dairy to completely leave your system. I made sure to cut out every trace of dairy, as some babies are sensitive to even a little bit. I also took her in for regular chiropractic adjustments which also helped. While my daughter is now 2 (born in May before Ryder), she still can’t do conventional dairy but she does great with raw dairy (It contains all the beneficial bacteria and enzymes that our body needs to break down milk properly). Thanks for being honest and sharing the hard stuff. Things WILL get better and your attitude is amazing. You’re a great mama!
I love your honesty in this post 💗 You are one strong mama to be juggling all that you do on such little sleep. I’m amazed at how you manage it all with 3… I’ve only got 1 and it can be tough! Sending you lots of love and hoping you get some sleep soon. ❤️
your family though! gorgeous, loving, adorable, and HAPPY! i’m so thrilled for you guys and just adore reading about you, ryan, and the boys. i’ve been a fan of this blog for a long time (pre-wedding!). its really great to see your blessings. lots of hugs to you all <3 you're awesome 🙂