Sometimes being a blogger is weird. It can be complicated when it comes to sharing struggles because someone will always have it worse and if you share something difficult, it opens you up to criticism and often times criticism is not delivered with kindness. This can be hard to handle especially if it comes during times when you already feel vulnerable. This sometimes limits me from feeling like I can completely and candidly share what’s going on in my life because I never want to come across as complaining, whining or ungrateful.
I am so ridiculously lucky and thankful to have the life I have, a family I love and a job I adore. I know I am fortunate and focusing on gratitude is something I truly do every single day. Focusing on gratitude is something I attribute to the backbone of the way I live my life and the optimism I feel comes naturally to me. I try my best to be open and honest on this blog and so appreciate you guys following my life and the experiences I choose to share in this space.
The strange thing I’ve noticed lately is that sometimes I struggle to share a lot about the “regular” days that end up feeling like one of “those” days. You know “those” days… the ones that just feel taxing and exhausting for a myriad of reasons. The kind of day where nothing HUGE goes wrong but a lot of little things seems to chip away at your patience and energy. The kind of day that feels a little more challenging than usual for a myriad of reasons. It’s oddly easier for me to share about the big things that are REALLY hard (like miscarriage and loss) but harder for me to share about the small things that can feel tough sometimes. The mom guilt. The parenting struggles. Worry and doubt. The feeling that you’re doing a billion things… but nothing well.
Yesterday was one of “those” days and my first thought as I sat down to blog this morning was move on from the day and work on a blog post for tomorrow instead of sharing a Monday recap like I initially planned. But then I thought about something else that’s been weighing on me. I thought about the way I feel when I find myself scrolling through Instagram, Facebook, blogs and social media in general. It’s almost always a picture-perfect look at someone’s life and that’s just not reality. Maybe people will share about the REALLY hard things (and I’m so grateful when they do!) but so often the kind-of-hard-but-not-really-too-bad-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things things that happen in everyday life don’t get shared. So what are we to believe? Life for everyone else is either perfect OR it’s horrible? What about that place in the middle – our real, everyday life – that’s usually really, really great but also challenging and not-so-great sometimes, too?
Yesterday was NOT a horrible day for me. But it was a rough day and a day I’d classify as one of “those” days.
I had a doctor’s appointment to go back in for some blood work related to my second miscarriage because the lab didn’t get enough blood the first time. As someone who still feels queasy at the thought of anything medical, I surprised myself by feeling okay about the blood draw going into the appointment. The nurse began to take my blood and she said my blood was draining very slow. She then wiggled the needle around in my arm and I began to feel light-headed. She moved the needle around in my vein and pushed it harder. I felt the blood drain from my head and thought I might pass out. I was moved to another room and the nurse apologized for what she called “bad needle positioning,” re-stuck me in my other arm and everything was smooth sailing.
Was it a horrific experience? Absolutely not. But it was kind of sucky in a mostly regular way. Couple that with the flickering concern and worry about what the results from this blood test will reveal and I left the doctor’s office feeling down.
And then I got texts from my mother-in-law, my dad and my best friend in Florida with photos of damage from Hurricane Irma in Sarasota, Orlando and Jacksonville and instantly felt guilty for feeling down. Now THAT is a problem. A hurricane is a REAL problem. And suddenly I felt horrible for feeling even the least bit upset and frazzled. There it was – perspective – to instantly bring me back to reality where I counted my blessings and felt foolish and ridiculous for feeling upset about my not-really-a-big-problem kind of problem.
And this is EXACTLY the kind of thing that prevents me from sharing some of the seemingly mundane things that bring me down in day-to-day life. They don’t even compare to what others are going through at any given time. But, then again, maybe they are worth sharing for someone else who just feels like they had one of “those” days, too. Maybe they’re worth sharing sometimes because real life isn’t solely made up of high highs and low lows but mostly happens in the middle. I don’t know.
I rushed to pick Chase up from preschool on time since my doctor’s appointment ran over and made it with three minutes to spare. His teacher gave him a great report and he nuzzled his head under my chin as we dashed through the rain to our car. I felt good again.
We made it home and as Chase began to eat, he winced at nearly every bite and said “tooth hurt.” I looked in his mouth and his gums were red and inflamed and he began bleeding after he tried to take another bite of his food. I quickly researched local pediatric dentists on my phone and was able to get in to see one in the early afternoon. Mom guilt flooded over me. How did I not see this earlier? He had a high fever on Thursday… was I wrong when I didn’t call the doctor? Are we not doing a good job with our son’s oral hygiene? What did we do to cause this?
The dentist examined Chase’s mouth and immediately told me there was nothing we “did” to cause the inflammation and it was related to a common viral infection and should go down within a week or so. (It’s also not contagious. Thank goodness because I instantly worried about his preschool classmates and teachers.)
We arrived home, I made Chase a smoothie hoping it would help him get some food in his belly in a pain-free way and tried to get him to relax before his (delayed) nap as we rocked and read a book together in his nursery. He quickly fell asleep… for 30 minutes.
I had just enough time to begin working and checking things off my to-do list for two upcoming brand partnerships. I was counting on his naptime for a solid two hours of work but knew that would have to wait when Chase woke up and his mouth was clearly bothering him. He was crying and uncomfortable and I didn’t know what to do to make him feel better. I scrapped my work plans and turned all of my attention to Chase and helping him feel cared for, comforted and loved.
So throughout the day yesterday I felt like I was failing as a mom. I felt like my body was failing me. I felt like I was failing at my work. I felt like I was failing as a wife when I snapped at Ryan at the end of the day.
I felt like I was failing left and right.
And part of me thought all of that wasn’t worth sharing. Maybe it’s not? Maybe it reads as one big whine fest but but then again maybe it doesn’t because maybe a few of you out there have felt like you were failing at times, too. Maybe it wasn’t one horrible, horrific thing that happened in your day to make your day a really bad day but maybe it felt like one of “those” days anyway. Maybe it’s OKAY to share when we have one of “those” days that wasn’t THAT bad but also not THAT good either, because that’s real life and that’s how life goes. It’s not always happy, easy, seamless, beautiful and Instagram perfect.
It’s missed deadlines, feeling sick, feeling defeated, doubting yourself, doubting your parenting and all of the messy things that come along with real life.
So for my recap of my Monday, I’m just here to say that my Monday was one of “ those” days. It wasn’t a BAD day. It wasn’t a GREAT day. It wasn’t the kind of day that deserves pity or sympathy or cards. But it wasn’t perfect either.
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Thank you for sharing! I often have “those days” and I feel like right now I’m in “that season” of life where I’m having many days that are not great, but not bad either. And family plays a huge role in our lives! It’s good to know that we are not alone as we navigate through life. We have each other and our families and friends to lean on. 🙂
YES! “Those” days are so mentally tough and while there are always people worse off, your feelings are still valid. We are allowed to feel sorry for ourselves for no good reason other than being frustrated or worn out. You’re doing a good job.
Yes!!! Great post.
YES. Thanks for sharing! Yesterday into today has felt like one of those days to me because of small things going wrong.
Then I watch the news and it makes me sad and also feel like a jerk for even thinking I have anything “bad” going on. I definitely think social media tends to exasperate this because we do only share the extremes.
Thanks for sharing!! I agree – the day to day of life is usually somewhere in the middle of GREAT and TERRIBLE… and I enjoyed reading what that looks like for you and knowing I’m not alone on those days 🙂
Thanks for sharing, Julie! You’re a very positive and grateful person and I think even though it’s hard to share so much through such a public forum, it allows us to connect with you more when you’re able to let your guard down like this. It makes you more relatable because we all experience these days. Thanks for replying to my message on Insta yesterday even though you had so much going on. We all experience the guilt. We survived Harvey without any damage and sometimes it’s hard not to feel bad seeing all the damage others had. Praying you have a wonderful day!
Thank you for sharing something many of us can relate to! Daily life can be so draining for all of the mundane/uninspiring things – but that is life. 🙂 And yes perspective can help get us out of the funk. But it’s okay to simply identify this is what’s bothering me. Perspective or not – it’s what we feel and we have to honor our feelings at those moments. Simply ignoring and pushing them away doesn’t always help. Know what I mean? And when we have “those” days – it’s okay. Because tomorrow is a new day. 🙂
Oh gosh, I DEFINITELY have “those” days!! You are NOT wrong to feel that way and you should never feel bad. Yes, there are people with “bigger” problems, but you are human and absolutely have the right to feel impatient, frustrated, tired, sad, etc. Thank you for being so open and honest with us! I absolutely understand that it can’t be easy.
Thank you for your open and honest post – I can tell it came from the heart. Whenever I have those days I like to repeat to myself, “you are enough.”
OMG I soooo relate to this!!! In many ways- one I had a day like this yesterday. It was so frustrating- I couldn’t find my keel and felt like I kept making mistakes!! Like every choice I made was the wrong one. UGH! I know that feeling- it’s not bad but it’s not great. Such a good description of it!
Another way I relate is because I totally agree re: social media. I hate just posting “smiling perfect pics” all the time, but I don’t want to seem like I’m whining or too #firstworldproblems
I’d love to find an IG account that deftly handles a good balance between real and “IG perfect”.
Thanks for posting this
I read or heard one time that social media is the “highlight reel” of peoples lives. This realization has really stuck with me and I appreciate the reminder, especially when I scroll through and feel like I am the only one that has “those” days. They happen, they will continue to happen, and when they do you have to just take a moment and breathe. 🙂 Thank you for your blog and all your sharing!
Personally, I love this. I’ve had a few of “those” days lately. Life is REALLY good, but sometimes days are just tough, no matter how you slice it. Friday in particular was one of “those” days for me. I ended up letting myself say “no” to invitations from friends so I could just have a minute to sit and breathe. It was a good choice.
I’m so happy you shared this because I never realized it but you’re so right. People tend to share the really hard things and not the everyday things. I don’t think you’re whining at all and I have definitely had more than my fair share of those days! They suck, and you can’t really do anything about it but get over it and try something different the next day. It’s a new day! I often times find myself scrolling through instagram at other fitness accounts and think why can’t I look like that? But I have to remember that many times it’s a highlight reel. Thanks for making me feel so much better!
Totally relate to this and you are not alone in having “those” days! They can be very trying. Thanks for talking about it and it is ok to do so! We know you are a very grateful person, so don’t worry about that. You are human!
So good to see real life! Instagram and social media has a way of making us moms feel subpar, so it is refreshing to see that I’m not the only one who has “those days.” Being a mom, wife, and a professional is hard, but you do it beautifully. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
Thanks for this post. Definitely needed to hear this today. Glad I’m not alone.
GREAT POST!! Thank you for being candid and honest! We all have those days – it’s great to connect on such a real level!!!!
Sounds like you were having a Monday. Thanks for sharing! This was an awesome post. Sometimes when I’m reading blogs or scrolling through social media it seems like everyone’s life is perfect. It’s really sort of refreshing to know even awesome bloggers like Julie have “one of those days” just like everyone else. Hope Chase feels better soon and your blood work comes back okay. 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing. I also have a lot of “rough” days with no real huge problems, but little things that leave me feeling stressed and defeated at the end of each day. Right now I’m stuck at home most days trying to potty-train an almost 3 year old boy, and it’s really, really hard. Most days feel like failures, and each day feels like Groundhog Day. So thank you for your honesty–it makes us other moms feel like we aren’t alone in feeling like this! 🙂
love this post! ‘Those days’ can be really hard. Hope the rest of your week is much better.
Julie, I have read your blog every single day for the past six years. I’m not exaggerating. I almost never comment. As shown in your blog, your life seems like a tv life and I read it as an escape. I’ve tried plenty of your recipes and done many of your workouts. I smile and appreciate your gorgeous outfits and cute hair and handsome husband and fun activities/travel. I never feel envy of you (I am very happy in my own life), but I definitely enjoy stepping into your shoes every day and walking around.
I am an English teacher and have read enough literature to know that nobody’s life is really like the life you portray in your blog (or that anyone portrays on facebook/instagram). It’s a curated selection of the nice moments. Everyone’s marriage has fights and things that aren’t ideal. Everyone’s kids don’t listen and get sick and sometimes are just a huge pain. Everyone’s life is full of disappointment. This is just the nature of being human. I always knew you have just as much suckiness in your life as anyone else, despite the relentless cheerfulness of the blog. Because you aren’t a character in a tv show–you’re a real person. Anyone with any sense knows that.
It’s ok to be choosy about what you share with the giant, anonymous public. It’s a sign of mental health. It’s also ok to occasionally reveal that you actually are just like everyone else. You don’t owe anyone anything as far as your blog readership goes. You are professional and conscientious and you put out a quality product with great content almost every weekday of the year. You’re doing great.
Just wanted to chime in.
I often try and remind myself that this isn’t a competition. My “bad” days are not lessened because someone else had a worse day than I did. I am still allowed to feel frustrated even if my frustrations pale in comparison to someone elses. Just because I feel grumpy and down doesn’t make me a bad person just because I have a “happy” life. Feeling upset myself doesn’t mean I don’t have compassion and empathy for others. Thank you for sharing – I wish more people would allow themselves to relate in this way!
I’m very grateful for your blog, Julie! Your posts either lift my spirits, or give me something to relate to 🙂 or both!
Thank you so much, Lo. <3
I hate saying ‘i never comment’ but i truly never comment. I think most of us reading your blog know you are an upbeat positive person, but we ALL go through these days. Some more than others, but we can all relate, and appreciate when bloggers do share that side of life.
I recently read another blog post last week, ‘J’s everyday fashion’ where she addressed this very issue with bloggers and in life in general. We get to a point where we feel bad about sharing everyday emotions. How can you move on, if you don’t ‘feel what you’re feeling’ Yes, there will always be worse happenings in the world, but this is what is happening to you, right now. You have to let yourself feel those emotions and work through them. Those who may comment and say things like ‘the rest of the country is in crisis, get it together’ they aren’t at this point in their life, or maybe it comes easier to them to just ignore their feelings and emotions. Let it go, let yourself feel drained, or sad, or upset. You know that feeling will eventually move on and back to happiness. I hope your week gets better and that you focus on the positive uplifting comments. I’ll be praying for your family, and all the others who are dealing with the aftermath of these hurricanes and disasters.
Julie, I cannot tell you how much I LOVED reading this! I hurt for you and feel so bad that you had one of those days but at the same time I can completely relate. For me, it can be difficult to read blogs, look at social media and views other’s lives from a perceived perfect lens, and not wonder what I am doing wrong. I have so many days like the one you mentioned. I am a single mom, going to school full time and work full time. I am so fortunate to have those opportunities, but some days I feel like I’m failing at every single thing. My toddler is moody and I can’t seem to help him. The house isn’t clean enough. I’m not focusing as much as I should on my friends or family. Things can seem hard sometimes, but overall my life is amazing. It’s just so refreshing to know that others go though “those days” as well. Also, realize that you’re not alone 🙂 All of us have those moments. You’re such an amazing mama and wife!
Larissa, YOU are amazing! You have a ton on your plate and just reading your comment makes it so clear to me that you are doing the very best you can. There’s something about a moody toddler that you cannot seem to help that will really make you feel like you’re failing at everythinggggg. It can be so draining. But I have a feeling you are doing a GREAT job. <3
This post was just what so many people need to hear! Often times we feel alone and defeated in every day tasks & comparing real life to everyone’s perfect instagram magnifies the feelings for sure.
Hi Julie! We all definitely have “those days,” and I think it’s clear from the comments that everyone is glad you shared this too. Hoping today is a better day for you and for little Chase! 🙂
I love this honest post! I know what you mean about not wanting to sound like you’re complaining or not grateful, but I find it refreshing to know that everyone has one of “those” days. I can relate so well to this post. As a working mom with an infant, a husband, and two pups at home, I have “those” days where I feel like I’m failing at everything. All our family lives in FL as well and we’re currently in NC, so I was also spending yesterday stressing waiting to hear from our family in the Keys, Sarasota, Ft. Myers and Melbourne. Hoping today is a better day and that Chase is one the mend soon! It is so hard when our little ones are sick and there’s nothing you can do to make it better besides lots of cuddles!
Ugh, don’t we all have those days. Tomorrow is a knew day. Isn’t it amazing how that one little nuzzle from our kid can make things so much better. The Mom guilt sucks, try not to be hard on yourself. I’m one to talk, I just had huge Mom guilt a few weeks ago (I missed an abscess on her gums and resulted in 3 teeth being pulled) and a few weeks before that (I shut her thumb in the camper door on accident). Mom guilt is a nasty thing. Sending some prayers regarding your lab results.
It really is! And it creeps up on me so fast and consumes me. Thank you for the supportive comment and for sharing a little bit about one of your “mom guilt” moments. I feel ya!!
Beautifully written, thank you.
Julie,
Thanks for sharing about your Monday. You’re right- we are so oversaturated with “perfect” snapshots of peoples lives on social media that it’s refreshing to feel normal by way of comparison of hearing your day. I had a similar night- my day was fine but towards the end of the evening I just started feeling overwhelmed with falling short. Not being a supportive enough wife, not being able to take care of the house the way I wish I could, not being as pleasant as I should when I’m worn out, etc. I cried and felt like I too was falling short. I feel ya, it’s okay to have those days and we appreciate your genuiness for sharing.
This is WONDERFUL Julie! Thank you for this! I have (many) of these days too. Truly, I think life is lived more in the “in-between” so-so days then the “extreme joyful/exciting” or “extreme bad/horrible.” I LOVE your honestly. I can relate. I hope you do more of these posts.
Hey Julie!
First I just want to say that you and your sweet family have been in my prayers. Really!
But I also want to say that I am just so thankful that you have poured your heart out the way you have because we readers have fallen in love with your little family and are truly concerned about you ???
About “those days”, it’s weird. It’s not that I like reading about your hardship, that’s definitely NOT it! But I think I find it refreshing because of what you said about Facebook, Instagram, etc. It’s just real life. I don’t know why we like reading about other people’s real life stuff but we do! But definitely not just the heavy real life stuff, I fell in love with your blog back when you had pictures of your food in Tupperware and you blogged about sitting on the couch eating granola lol. My favorite post of yours is still the one wear you made it on the news AGAIN wearing that big coat and sweats ???? SO FUNNY. I love how relatable you are.
Thanks so much for sharing Julie. I am still praying for you and am just so thankful for your little ray of sunshine that is Peanut Butter Fingers. Good days and bad. ?
You’ve captured it perfectly. These “in-between” are what the bulk of life is made of, and sometimes they can be so hard. I needed this today SO badly. <3
I agree—we love seeing all sides of life! This made me feel better because I always feel like there are little things that add up to make one of “those” days happen and it helps to know other people are experiencing them as well. Every day matters and we are all humans who need to not feel alone. Thank you so much for sharing <3
Yessss right there with you sister. “Those days” are so hard, sometimes harder than the hard days. They can just be so draining, mentally and physically. Thank you for sharing 🙂 I’ll be praying for your blood work results, I know it’s weighing heavily on you.
While it’s true that on a wide enough frame, we can always find someone worse off than we are, that does not make your struggles and frustrations and fears any less important. Why? Because they are yours! You are allowed to feel what you feel, regardless of how it compares to what other people are going through OR what you yourself have gone through in the past.
As always, your honesty + transparency is truly beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for posting this and being so real and honest ! I had one of those days yesterday too. I hope Chase feels better soon 🙂
This post represents what I call the “in the trenches” stage. Learning how to balance being a mother, a wife, a professional, a woman who has friendships and can cook and is physically fit and the list goes on…it is TOUGH. And it makes some days really hard even in the midst of a beautiful life. It’s so totally OK to feel down even if you’re not going through what someone else might be. Just because someone else is going through something worse doesn’t mean we don’t all have the right to feel down or sad or blah in our own life. Just wanted to comment to say “I hear you!” and I totally get it and I think a lot of us do. We want to be superwoman and we don’t want to fail and we don’t want to seem ungrateful. But sometimes, we just can’t do everything, and we just can’t put on a happy face. It happens to the best of us 🙂
Thank you, thank you, thank you! One of the big reasons I quit social media was because I spent too much time coveting the seemingly perfect lives others would post and slowly it chipped away at my happiness and ability to be grateful. I love that you share so honestly and with so much heart and thoughtfulness. Blogs are wonderful for so many reasons, but they can also give the perception of perfection and almost feel commercial, and I feel like it hinders me from truly connecting. But you have a gift of speaking to us like old friends, and I have been reading for probably close to 4-5 years, and I truly feel a friendship connection with you, so much so that my heart rejoices in your happiness and cries during your sadness. I don’t feel like you should ever have to apologize for being honest. As for the guilt and worry you said you were feeling (I share the same struggle), I had a friend tell me once when I was feeling the old mom guilt creep in that there is no one way to be a perfect mom, but there are a million ways to be a good one. I let that ring over and over in my head on the harder days. And it can apply to anything – mother, wife, daughter, friend, etc.
Sending you prayers and hugs!
“There is no one way to be a perfect mom, but there are a million ways to be a good one.” I LOVEEEEEE this!!!! Thank YOU for sharing, Stefanie and for reading my blog for so many years. I really appreciate it. <3
Funnily enough, I just read a great blog post called “Mom Guilt is a Liar” and had to share it with you…
https://wonderoak.com/2017/09/05/mom-guilt-is-a-liar/
I loved every part of it, even if I was squinting through tears to read it. I constantly sit and beat myself up and pick apart the things I do as a mom. And then what’s even better, I’ll beat myself up for wasting time beating myself up! Anxiety sucks!! What I should be doing instead is just be grateful for the perfectly beautiful and healthy little boy (now 9 months!) we’ve been blessed with, especially because he was our rainbow baby after our first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. When the negativity creeps in, I try hard to remember that if I wouldn’t say it to a friend, then I shouldn’t say it to myself. Being a mom is about grace. Giving it to others, your child, and ultimately, yourself. I just can’t say thank you enough for the safe space you’ve created with your blog – you are so appreciated and loved.
Getting rid of social media has been so freeing. I recently had a baby and I haven’t felt the pressure of social media, posting pictures and comparing of lives. I decided a long time ago that I didn’t want to seek affirmation from people I’m not even that close with. I enjoy having a small world in that capacity. It helps me focus on what’s before me.
Thank you so very much for writing this post. I’ve been following you since 2009 and always enjoyed your writing style. I appreciate how you open up, but also how you are able to convey your feelings into words. I have a difficult time expressing my feelings or knowing how to describe them, but you always get it. You articulate it well and it often resonates with my own feelings. I’ve been struggling with “those” days or how to explain to my husband that it’s just one of “those” days that I struggle to be a very good wife and partner..
Thank you again for this post!
Thank you so much, Jessica. I think that is part of what’s complicated about “those” days… They ARE hard to capture in words because it’s often a lot of little things that make you feel off and upset and drained. I’m glad this post resonated with you and so appreciate you reading my blog for so long!
And thank you so much for your reply! I should mention that I also had 2 miscarriages approximately one month after each of yours, one in March and one last month.. mine were only about 6 weeks along so I can’t even imagine having seen the heart beat and having that little one inside and then not having it… I’ve never made it that far along… So, with that, I also want to say thank you for sharing the big stuff as well, since having 2 miscarriages in a row seemed to alarm the doctors a bit more, I felt a little comfort knowing I wasn’t alone… I wish you all the best in continuing to try for a brother or sister for Chase! You have such a beautiful family and I look forward to continue following your posts! Hope today is a better day!
I loved this post for so many reasons. Thanks for sharing!
Love this post! I had one of “those” days last week – work was super busy and then I got a migraine in the middle of the day and had to leave the office, abandoning my very long to-do list. I tried to sleep off the headache at home, but when I woke up I was in pain, cranky, and super irritable. I snapped at my husband when he was trying to take care of me. I felt like nothing was going right, but it also wasn’t really THAT bad when you compare it to what was happening in Texas at the time. These kinds of days just happen!
Thanks for sharing Julie. I too feel like social media displays these picture perfect lives and sometimes I get off my phone feeling so down and wish I had never picked it up in the first place. I really appreciate this post. It’s nice to see that even you have your bad days. Hope today is much better!!
Oh yesssss. There are SO many days I find myself wishing social media didn’t exist! Taking breaks from it is good for the heart and soul, too. Sometimes I feel pressure to share something every day (and often times I do think that it IS fun to share!!!) but other times I know I would benefit more by taking a step away from Instagram and just living my life and enjoying it without checking in with what everyone else is doing that is so perfect, so fun and so amazing… especially on one of “those” days.
Gosh I can relate to that feeling of failing at everything. I’ve felt that a lot lately, and honestly it means a lot to hear from someone else who has felt that way too <3 THANK YOU!
What an amazing post, Julie!! Thank you so much for sharing! I feel like every time my 2 year old gets sick I instantly blame myself (and end up snapping at my husband in the midst of my panic)! Have you ever heard of the podcast Risen Motherhood? Its two moms who talk about an array of topics and is gospel centered. It’s a constant source of encouragement for me as a mom and just wanted to pass it on because it’s helped me so much!
Also this is a quote I have on my mirror that I read when I have one of “those days” 🙂
So your hope as a parent is not found in your power, your wisdom, your character, your experience, or your success, but in this one thing alone: the presence of your Lord. The Creator, Savior, Almighty, Sovereign King is with you. Let your heart rest. You are not in this parenting drama alone. Your potential is greater than the size of your weakness, because the One who is without weakness is with you, and He does His best work through those who admit that they are weak but in weakness still heed his call.” -Paul David Tripp (wrote an amazing book called Parenting – highly recommend!)
Honestly, Julie, your more heartfelt posts are always my favorite – even if it is simply talking about the real life “one of those days” things because we AL relate.
Motherhood opens so many doors for comparison and guilt – I know exactly how you feel when everything seems to go kindof wonky, even if not terrible.
I know the criticism can be tough sometimes, but please continue to blog what you FEEL. ❤
You aren’t alone and we all feel that way. I work full time, have two little boys (2 and 4 months) and my husband has been deployed the past six months…yup, had the second baby since he has been gone. I don’t share this to be all “look, I have it harder,” because that isn’t true. We all struggle and just because it isn’t as much as someone else (or just different), doesn’t minimize the struggle at all. At the end of the day, after struggling to get all my work done and out the door in time to pick up kids from daycare before they close and then battling dinner and bedtime quickly so they can go to bed at a decent hour since I have to wake them early to leave the house (holy run on sentence!), I’m exhausted. I have no desire to prep for the next day. I just want to wallow and watch TV. Being a mom is hard. It sucks sometimes. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t grateful for our rugrats and all of the blessings we do have. It’s a survival game. I decided that I just need to give myself a lot of grace (especially while I’m the lone parent around these parts). I have a housekeeper that comes every other week. Outsource what makes sense. Know you aren’t alone. We all feel like we are failing at all of it. But at the end of the day, your kids love you, your husband loves you, and you are blessed more than you realize. But don’t beat yourself up. Perspective is important, but you can claim $h**ty day status no matter what anyone else is dealing with at that time…
I think its important that we acknowledge our feelings no matter what. Sure Florida and Texas are having it rough right now but that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to FEEL the way you to. Addressing our emotions is super important to help us process things. If we always say well it doesn’t matter because someone has it worse then me then we are going to blow up, usually at our husbands, HA!
Obviously easier said then done. But important none the less because we have these little humans following us around looking and mimicking everything we do. Its okay to be upset that the nurse didn’t stick your needle in well, I would be annoyed too. If we don’t validate our feelings then we aren’t going to be mentally healthy.
I am probably writing this more for me at this point! ha! Yesterday I left my wallet at home when I went to the farmers market. This morning I left my computer at home, which i needed to teach a class of 26 college students. So I feel ya with the feeling like you are failing at everything!
I hope you post more of these posts (but not at the expense of having one of ‘those’ days). Like you said – the great stuff and truly awful things are displayed across our social media sites but for fear of sounding like a complainer, you don’t share when you have a long, mentally and physically exhausting day. So thank you for sharing that it’s okay to not make life seem black and white; and that it’s okay for others to feel and share these days as well. I feel like the comparison game with one another’s lives is at an all time high with social media pages and blogs, etc. I like that you shared that you had reached your days threshold and snapped at Ryan. It seems like your relationship is a fairy tale and perfect, and moments like these make us realize that no one’s life, health or relationship is perfect – we all get grumpy, overwhelmed and stressed. Thank you for breaking the norm with this raw post and sharing your “ugh” day (as I call them). I hope Chase is feeling better today, I hope you were able to relax and do something for your self and enjoy the new day. Thoughts & prayers to you, you’re doing a great job at being Chase’s Mom and Ryan’s wife!