Sometimes being a blogger is weird. It can be complicated when it comes to sharing struggles because someone will always have it worse and if you share something difficult, it opens you up to criticism and often times criticism is not delivered with kindness. This can be hard to handle especially if it comes during times when you already feel vulnerable. This sometimes limits me from feeling like I can completely and candidly share what’s going on in my life because I never want to come across as complaining, whining or ungrateful.
I am so ridiculously lucky and thankful to have the life I have, a family I love and a job I adore. I know I am fortunate and focusing on gratitude is something I truly do every single day. Focusing on gratitude is something I attribute to the backbone of the way I live my life and the optimism I feel comes naturally to me. I try my best to be open and honest on this blog and so appreciate you guys following my life and the experiences I choose to share in this space.
The strange thing I’ve noticed lately is that sometimes I struggle to share a lot about the “regular” days that end up feeling like one of “those” days. You know “those” days… the ones that just feel taxing and exhausting for a myriad of reasons. The kind of day where nothing HUGE goes wrong but a lot of little things seems to chip away at your patience and energy. The kind of day that feels a little more challenging than usual for a myriad of reasons. It’s oddly easier for me to share about the big things that are REALLY hard (like miscarriage and loss) but harder for me to share about the small things that can feel tough sometimes. The mom guilt. The parenting struggles. Worry and doubt. The feeling that you’re doing a billion things… but nothing well.
Yesterday was one of “those” days and my first thought as I sat down to blog this morning was move on from the day and work on a blog post for tomorrow instead of sharing a Monday recap like I initially planned. But then I thought about something else that’s been weighing on me. I thought about the way I feel when I find myself scrolling through Instagram, Facebook, blogs and social media in general. It’s almost always a picture-perfect look at someone’s life and that’s just not reality. Maybe people will share about the REALLY hard things (and I’m so grateful when they do!) but so often the kind-of-hard-but-not-really-too-bad-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things things that happen in everyday life don’t get shared. So what are we to believe? Life for everyone else is either perfect OR it’s horrible? What about that place in the middle – our real, everyday life – that’s usually really, really great but also challenging and not-so-great sometimes, too?
Yesterday was NOT a horrible day for me. But it was a rough day and a day I’d classify as one of “those” days.
I had a doctor’s appointment to go back in for some blood work related to my second miscarriage because the lab didn’t get enough blood the first time. As someone who still feels queasy at the thought of anything medical, I surprised myself by feeling okay about the blood draw going into the appointment. The nurse began to take my blood and she said my blood was draining very slow. She then wiggled the needle around in my arm and I began to feel light-headed. She moved the needle around in my vein and pushed it harder. I felt the blood drain from my head and thought I might pass out. I was moved to another room and the nurse apologized for what she called “bad needle positioning,” re-stuck me in my other arm and everything was smooth sailing.
Was it a horrific experience? Absolutely not. But it was kind of sucky in a mostly regular way. Couple that with the flickering concern and worry about what the results from this blood test will reveal and I left the doctor’s office feeling down.
And then I got texts from my mother-in-law, my dad and my best friend in Florida with photos of damage from Hurricane Irma in Sarasota, Orlando and Jacksonville and instantly felt guilty for feeling down. Now THAT is a problem. A hurricane is a REAL problem. And suddenly I felt horrible for feeling even the least bit upset and frazzled. There it was – perspective – to instantly bring me back to reality where I counted my blessings and felt foolish and ridiculous for feeling upset about my not-really-a-big-problem kind of problem.
And this is EXACTLY the kind of thing that prevents me from sharing some of the seemingly mundane things that bring me down in day-to-day life. They don’t even compare to what others are going through at any given time. But, then again, maybe they are worth sharing for someone else who just feels like they had one of “those” days, too. Maybe they’re worth sharing sometimes because real life isn’t solely made up of high highs and low lows but mostly happens in the middle. I don’t know.
I rushed to pick Chase up from preschool on time since my doctor’s appointment ran over and made it with three minutes to spare. His teacher gave him a great report and he nuzzled his head under my chin as we dashed through the rain to our car. I felt good again.
We made it home and as Chase began to eat, he winced at nearly every bite and said “tooth hurt.” I looked in his mouth and his gums were red and inflamed and he began bleeding after he tried to take another bite of his food. I quickly researched local pediatric dentists on my phone and was able to get in to see one in the early afternoon. Mom guilt flooded over me. How did I not see this earlier? He had a high fever on Thursday… was I wrong when I didn’t call the doctor? Are we not doing a good job with our son’s oral hygiene? What did we do to cause this?
The dentist examined Chase’s mouth and immediately told me there was nothing we “did” to cause the inflammation and it was related to a common viral infection and should go down within a week or so. (It’s also not contagious. Thank goodness because I instantly worried about his preschool classmates and teachers.)
We arrived home, I made Chase a smoothie hoping it would help him get some food in his belly in a pain-free way and tried to get him to relax before his (delayed) nap as we rocked and read a book together in his nursery. He quickly fell asleep… for 30 minutes.
I had just enough time to begin working and checking things off my to-do list for two upcoming brand partnerships. I was counting on his naptime for a solid two hours of work but knew that would have to wait when Chase woke up and his mouth was clearly bothering him. He was crying and uncomfortable and I didn’t know what to do to make him feel better. I scrapped my work plans and turned all of my attention to Chase and helping him feel cared for, comforted and loved.
So throughout the day yesterday I felt like I was failing as a mom. I felt like my body was failing me. I felt like I was failing at my work. I felt like I was failing as a wife when I snapped at Ryan at the end of the day.
I felt like I was failing left and right.
And part of me thought all of that wasn’t worth sharing. Maybe it’s not? Maybe it reads as one big whine fest but but then again maybe it doesn’t because maybe a few of you out there have felt like you were failing at times, too. Maybe it wasn’t one horrible, horrific thing that happened in your day to make your day a really bad day but maybe it felt like one of “those” days anyway. Maybe it’s OKAY to share when we have one of “those” days that wasn’t THAT bad but also not THAT good either, because that’s real life and that’s how life goes. It’s not always happy, easy, seamless, beautiful and Instagram perfect.
It’s missed deadlines, feeling sick, feeling defeated, doubting yourself, doubting your parenting and all of the messy things that come along with real life.
So for my recap of my Monday, I’m just here to say that my Monday was one of “ those” days. It wasn’t a BAD day. It wasn’t a GREAT day. It wasn’t the kind of day that deserves pity or sympathy or cards. But it wasn’t perfect either.
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This is probably one of my favorite blog posts I have ever read…
I completely agree- I came to comment the exact same thing.
I also agree! Love this so much. Very refreshing to read about real life–thank you!
me too. i just sent it to my friend who is going through a rough time. thanks Julie!
Yes! Refreshing and honest.
This, exactly. One of my favorite PBF posts ever. Thanks for it.
(As an aside, the mental/emotional health aspect of “healthy living” is something I’m always glad to read about. And this is an important piece of a healthy lifestyle—to acknowledge that we can eat well and exercise and do everything “right,” but we’ll all still have “those” days. And it’s OK to admit it and to talk about it.)
Oh my gosh Julie. This brought me to tears as I am having one of “those” days too. I have 2 young children and have found myself crying off and on today over technically small things, although a fair amount of small things that are adding up to making me feel inadequate, not good enough, etc. I know this too will pass and I am trying to speak to myself internally as I would to a friend having a rough day. I’ve read your blog for YEARS and I will say often it seems like your life is straight out of a magazine pictures and all. It is so refreshing to see you open up in such a way because it reminds us readers that you are a whole lot
like us too. One of my favorite posts, thanks again <3 Brittany
Thank you so much for this post. I hope today is a little brighter.
Perfectly okay and GOOD to share!! Part of being a reader/observer is trying to remember “it’s not always this perfect even if their pictures and words make it seem like this” and posts like this are that reminder! No one is alone in a struggle whether it’s big or “small.” Thank you for sharing! You’re a rockstar! (also I am getting my wisdom teeth out on Friday and have never had a needle in my arm other than a shot so I am right there with you with the hope they don’t mess around with it!)
Great post. Definitely feel this way regularly. It’s hard as a reader of any blog. We know that we are seeing the highlights but it’s hard to remember that other people have not so hot days that just don’t get highlighted. Also, can totally relate to the feeling down and then feeling down about feeling down because of the perspective that others have very difficult problems.
A refreshing read. Thanks for sharing and hope the rest of your week picks up!
PS I definitely had a day awhile back where I posted an Instagram of a fun breakfast date with my toddler and everything seemed rosy. The day deteriorated and ended up with a million crunched puffs all over the floor. So I posted that too because I figure sometimes it’s refreshing to keep it real!
I echo what everyone else is saying- thank you for this post! It’s so relatable and very much worth sharing! By sharing this type of day, I feel like I’m not alone in motherhood! I’ve had several of “those” days lately and it’s so easy to feel like “I’m not a good mom!” Or ” I should be grateful 24/7!” But we are all human, and we will all have “those days”. It’s nice to be reminded that it’s not just me! And while there are so many big, horrible things happening in the world and in the lives of others, I think it’s healthy and important to be honest about the little things and how they make us feel. So thank you for doing that Julie! You are amazing and I appreciate your vulnerability (and wish that would never have to read any negative comments! Alas, that is the brave risk you take every day as a blogger. Thank you for being brave because I love your blog!)
Thank you for this honest post, Julie. It is so hard to be vulnerable in life, let alone online. I totally understand what you’re feeling and it’s nice to know I’m not the only one. I always call my mom when I’m feeling down or off and she makes me feel instantly better! Keep it up, girl. xoxo Jessica | http://www.roomforgelato.com
Literally, one of my favorite and most relatable posts as a mother of a 2 year old who works part-time and sometimes just feels like I’m failing on all fronts.
I remember having a crazy day, we were out running errands and the kids had meltdowns. I was at my wits end, felt like a crappy mom but the next day my little girl told me how much fun she had. I thought to myself, umm no it was a terrible day! How could she possible think it was great? Through all of the crazy chaos she remembered the good parts. That was a little lesson for me. She saw everything so differently. Even though Chase was feeling bad he’s going to remember how you took care of him.
Thank you so much for this post! I’ve been struggling with the same feelings of that my life is good, I’m very lucky but I still feel a little lost and out of sorts after dropping the last of my 3 kids off for college. They’re doing great, still call a lot and my husband is super supportive but my everyday job is gone! I feel guilty complaining but am trying to navigate this new world as best I can. Again, thank you for being so real – One of the reasons I’ve been a reader for years!
This is such a refreshing blog post to read, everyone has these days – thanks for being brave enough to share!
LOVE this post. I’ve been having one of those months. So, thanks for this
Thank you for sharing and your openness about your experiences. While I don’t have kids of my own yet, I work in a school, and have what I like to think of as “not-a-mom guilt.” I’m so concerned that I only have time to take care of other peoples’ children, that I have built a wall around being a mom myself. I don’t know how much sense that makes, but I can definitely connect to having one of those days. I appreciate you, Julie!!
Julie, thank you so much for being honest! You already have a ton of comments, but I just felt compelled to let you know that your posts are always so refreshing and your blog is one of my favorites! Yesterday was one of those days for me too. I dropped my 2.5 year old off at preschool and one of the other moms casually asked me how I was and I just started crying because I was so stressed out and trying desperately to hold it all together! It wasn’t a terrible day, it was just a bunch of stressful things that come along with motherhood that piled up on my plate over the weekend, and it just felt like too much! So all that to say that I am so thankful that you are sharing your “human” side with us. Life, even when it’s going well overall, can be a struggle and there’s zero shame in expressing your feelings about it. Hugs to you!!
YES YES YES. Today is one of those days for me.
I needed to read this as a reminder that we all are doing the best we can, and feel like we’re failing sometimes. Thanks for always being willing to be vulnerable!
I hope that Chase is feeling better, and that today is a bit brighter. You are a fantastic professional, mom, and writer!
After living in a city recently hit by a horrific hurricane (Harvey in Houston) you feel so guilty for being down on the “small things” but in reality things affect people in different ways and they are meant to be felt and shared. Always love reading your posts and the mom guilt is the worse feeling ever!!
So glad you posted this! One of my favourites – ever! I love that you are so real and relatable in this post.
Sending love and light xo
Beautifully written. This post made me tear up thinking about doing a million things and none of them well. I appreciate your transparency here and this is my favorite post of yours I’ve ever read.
We were created to be emotional/feeling beings!! Its totally normal….I’ve got 3 under 6 and I have “one of the those days” probably every week, I didn’t make the muffins my son had been begging for, I didn’t paint my daughters nails sparkly rainbow that she’d been so patiently asking me to do, and feeling guilty for not reading more books to my 18month or doing puzzles with her… 🙁 We just went through Irma and have no power (we have a generator so thats more than most!) So its all about perspective I suppose, hang in there momma! I hope Chase feels better soon!!
this is SO true and SO real! thank you for sharing!! i love all your blog posts and have been reading for 5+ years! 🙂
THIS is why I love reading your blog so much! I love how honest you are, and even though it is hard to share when you are having “one of those days” it is so amazing to read. I have had my fair share of those days, believe me. This is one of my favorite blog posts ever, Julie. Your blog is and has always been my favorite. Thank you for always being so open and honest with your readers. You are amazing! I hope you are having a better day today! Xoxo
It’s totally normal to have those feelings and to have one of “those” days. I love social media, and I love working on my blog- but it can be so overwhelming to see the picture perfect stories everyone creates. Just have to trust that we ALL have “those” days even if it’s not shared. How can we not? We are all human! Tomorrow is over, today is a new (better) day!
xo
Jen Pilchak
http://www.styleinshape.com
I love your blog because you are so real and so relatable. So THANK YOU. Thanks for continuing to keep it real! ✌? I hope tomorrow’s better!
I’m so pleased you shared this post and your feelings. I too had one of those days yesterday. I was in a funk the whole day due to small niggly things. I have a million things to be grateful for and it was making me feel worse to be unable to turn my mood around. Sometimes you just have to accept that with highs and lows must come some mediocre lows and that’s OK. Thanks Julie ‘s x
Hi, I’m a long-time reader – I don’t usually comment, but I feel I need to say thank you for your honesty. I often beat myself up for feeling down when I have so many things going right in my life. I know that seeing people’s “perfect” lives on social media is a huge problem and does a number on people’s self-esteem. Life isn’t all good, and it’s not all bad – we just hear tidbits of others’ lives and compare to our own, which isn’t healthy. We need more narratives like the one you shared. Thank you!!!
Yes yes and yes to this. I know everyone has been saying it, but this was the most REFRESHING blog post ever. I read a handful of blogs and have been a fan of yours for years, and it’s an easy reaction to assume everyone else’s life is perfect. Obviously we all know this isn’t true, but it’s almost relieving to hear that EVERYONE has these “crappy-but-could-be-worse” days. We’re so programmed to say “someone else has it worse” – which is totally true, but we’re all allowed to feel anxious or sad or just off sometimes. Thanks so much for sharing, Julie! And I hope your day was better today!
I almost never comment, but I am a LONG time reader (from around 2013!) and I loved this post. I’ve been having a lot of these days lately and it makes me feel like a normal human knowing that someone I look up to so much isn’t a “perfect Instagram mom/blogger/person”.
Thank you for being candid and honest. Haters are going to hate no matter what you post because jealous and insecurity is an ugly, but real side-effect of being human. Lots of good vibes being sent your way!
I know a zillion people have said it but thank you for this. Yesterday was one of those days for me too. I found out about a major change for me at work that while not AWFUL by any means was just a real bummer. I bought a treadmill then we realized we have to take the entire thing apart to get it into our basement (but we sure damaged the wall trying). My husband and I bickered. And none of it was HORRIBLE. It was all very much a first world problem.
My family was also impacted by Hurricand Irma so I felt guilty complaining to my mom. It was a perspective thing. These aren’t the worst things. But it’s ok to feel sad about them anyway.
This. All of this. I don’t know that I’ve ever had my feelings put so eloquently before. Thank you.
Speaking as a 77 year old mom of two (two miscarriages also), grandmother, former teacher and someone who had had her share of worrisome days, your blog post hit the spot that many bloggers fail to find. Well, I think they probably have the same misgivings you have felt BUT lifestyle blogs should hit all the spots. You took a big step and may have even made history. Cheers to you! XO . And yes, 77 year old grandmothers do enjoy reading the blogs of young women who are brave enough to share their lives.
Love and relate to this so much 🙂 I hope you are having a wonderful day today!!
Girl. I get quite a few fitness blogs emailed to me and I’m always interested to click on yours because you aren’t fake, you aren’t only sharing the good stuff. So thanks. We’ve all had these days and you never know what you’re doing for someone who maybe doesn’t have your positive outlook when you lay it out but don’t complain. You could change THEM too! Keep it up. And you’re doing a fabulous job at being a mom/wife/blogger!
Preach, girl! I can so relate! Some days are just like that. Everything seems to just be a little harder – things don’t go exactly planned – kids throw a fit or get sick or come home from school bummed out. And then somedays you feel like a rockstar – things are going and flowing – kids are happy and healthy. i have some days where bedtime can’t come soon enough. I hope the rest of your week goes better. I always appreciate your honesty and are willing to share your feelings. Tomorrow is a new day ?
Wow, I needed to read that today. Thanks so much for your transparent honesty. Your blog is the only one I have consistency read for two years, and now I know why. Thank you for sharing your life with us!
We look at and feel about things from our own perspective. From where I sit, you had a bad day with one thing after another going wrong or at the very least not right. The fact that someone else is in the midst of cleaning up after a hurricane, does not diminish the pain you felt at the doctor’s office nor the worry you had when your son’s mouth hurt. You are doing a fine job as a mother and as a wife. You are not a whiner. Someone else will always have a worse day than you did but neither did they experience the day you had. Keep your chin up , buttercup. Know that many people are pulling for you and admire the way you handle your life.
Long time reader, rare commenter. Had to jump on to say, this is my favorite blog post that you’ve written. I can absolutely relate. Thanks for sharing so authentically. <3
Love this! It’s so nice to read you say these things. I feel like most of my weeks are filled with days like this and “good” days are peppered in there. I always love hearing how other moms deal with life and parenting challenges big and small. It helps me think about how I handle things and ideas I might want to try.
I loved this post – thank you for your honesty! I have to go in for blood work this week and your story is basically the story of my life every time I go in 🙁
This is my style of blogging! I had another blog before this one that I talked about EVERYTHING in. I still would, but school has made it harder to touch on a lot of that because I don’t have TIME to blog daily anymore. But I prefer blogs that touch on this type of stuff on a regular basis. I don’t compare myself to others on social media and I definitely know that people paint the perfect picture and that isn’t how life is and my favorite blogs are ones that actually talk about their everyday life. Like, the REAL everyday life. Not the “blog-worthy” life! And while I’m not starving, I don’t have cancer, nobody in my family just died- which are ALL tragic events, I still have the run of the mill blah days that I talk about.
Thank you so much for sharing. I appreciate posts like this because they’re so relatable. It makes me feel better knowing it’s not just me.
Hi Julie, I’m an avid blog reader and a long time reader of your blog in particular but don’t really comment- until now. Thank you so much for this post! I’m a first time mom to a 10 month old and have really taken to your blog especially since having a baby for inspiration to get through the long tiring days with a kid and cook dinner and things they like to eat too and how to make mom friends and how to balance it all. But since becoming a mom, social media/blogs have also been harder to read in a way because everything looks so perfect and happy! where is the daily slog, where are the little hardships like having a cold or not getting anything done because your kid won’t nap or being annoyed and snapping at family, or feeling worried and out of control because your kid is sick. and i feel the same way about complaining during “those” days- i am so beyond grateful for my healthy baby and my own health and my husband’s and all that is stable with our family so i don’t feel i deserve to complain about anything- but sometimes ‘those’ days come around! and i have to work hard to let myself complain and let it out because i think if you don’t share and don’t let yourself be sad/angry/annoyed at the little grievances then it builds up and wears you down slowly but surely. so thank you for sharing, we need to see more of this kind of post in social media.
A big THANK YOU for this post! I can’t believe how spot on this post was. The entire time I was reading I kept thinking true, true, true, true….true!! I have to say that sometimes your posts are therapy for me–Haha! I love that you are willing to be so honest and say the things that so many of us feel. The whole social media thing can really mess with our perception of reality and it’s important to showcase the imperfect areas of life from time to time. Just reading the comments and seeing that so many others feel the same just confirms that we are all in this together and it’s about supporting one another and saying ‘yes, I’ve been there too’ or ‘yes I feel that way sometimes too,’ et. It’s certainly not about bringing others down. I just can’t even fathom how somebody could even have a negative response to you or your blog. Keep doing you and know that so many of us watching and reading are right there with you and support you!
I love this saying,, “saying someone can’t be upset just because someone else has it worse is like saying someone can’t be happy just because someone else has it better.” So I hope you are able to know it’s okay to feel upset and I hope that you’re able to feel confident in yourself and your blogging so that you can dismiss any critics that pop up from time to time (no shortage of trolls in the world, it seems!) I always look to the naysayers with the eye of, “would I EVER say this to someone?” Most often it’s a big no, and a sign to yourself to dismiss them. (Or even block the troublesome people.)
I love your blog in all its flavors – I love posts like this, I love your update posts, I love the overall sharing and camaraderie that you’ve developed over the many years I’ve been reading your blog. You’re a real person and an upbeat person and a person who can get down and a person who has struggles like the rest of us, and you’ve always been good about being real about all of that, and showing all of those sides, including today, but before today too. I guess what I’m saying is that in my eyes, you’ve always been a great and real blogger to read, and I welcome all the content, no matter the form or the mood.
And I’m also here to say it’s okay to be upset about something even when there are people in the world who aren’t faring as well. Someone who’s depressed in Seattle can’t suddenly get happy just because they know they have it better than the victims of Hurricane Harvey and Irma. It may help the person in Seattle have perspective and gratitude, but it doesn’t erase their pain, nor can it. And it’s okay for them to feel that pain, without feeling guilty for feeling it. So I’m sorry you had a not great day yesterday, and it’s okay for you to notice that and to not enjoy that day.
Cheers to Chase’s health improving, and for you to feel confident in yourself and your blog, and to dismissing the critical people. I hope your week improves and that you get one of those unexpected days of synchronicity and peace in the very near future.
I grew up in a house where if something was wrong my parents would tell me how much worse it could be. For instance, when we complained about having a cold my mother was notorious for saying something like, you could have cancer, you’re fine! I realize now that was just their way of teaching perspective, perseverance and gratitude. However, it did follow me as I got older and anytime I would have a negative emotion I would feel guilty or push it aside as not being important enough to dwell on. After some really tough years I realized it’s much more emotionally and mentally healthy to accept all of our feelings. To give the same importance and attention to “negative” emotions as to positive emotions. Feel how you feel and feel it deeply. Let it run it’s course. Feeling down or somber or fusterated doesn’t make you a negative, whiney person it makes you whole, real and helps you appreciate the days filled with joy. Feel what you feel and don’t feel bad about it.
Oh Julie, I could just hug you! These are the blog posts we WANT to read, because you’re human, and you’re a mom and that is HARD . I remember when I was in the midst of my post partum anxiety and depression I Felt all the feelings you would feel and then I would think why do we have this mom guilt? Why don’t dads feel this? Then I would feel terrible feeling bad for myself when I Knew others had worse days or were dealing with raising kids on their own, when the days were just so tough. But you know what I realized …it’s okay to have ‘those days’ …just because our ‘bad days’ aren’t bad compared to what they could be, your feelings are valid and it’s okay to feel upset and feel guilt, because you are important to. Your feelings matter too and that always helped me feel slightly better about ‘those days’ because our feelings as moms matter and are valid but doesn’t make us bad people or bad moms to just want the day to be done. Tomorrow can not be worse then today ( or so I’d tell myself each bad day) I hope this makes any sense…but know we are all here and we love seeing the every day side of you!
Thank you, for keeping it real.
Sounds like my life most days lately. You’re a great writer, thank you for sharing, you have a way of writing that describes just how I feel, too. We are both going through the same post-miscarriage journey but in slightly different ways and my son turns two in two weeks and that brings on a whole new set of emotions. Sometimes our roads are just bumpy and we have to ride it out. Take care.
i feel like we are turning a corner in this world and that finally people are getting more honest on the healthy living blogs. I really appreciate this. i relate very easily to all that write here, and I thank you for writing this.
Thank you for sharing this. I struggle with the same thing when it comes to sharing stuff with my friends. I tend to hold back on the good and the bad because I don’t feel as though my bad is insignificant compared to what they are going through, and I feel like my good will make their bad seem worse. A wise friend recently told me to share all my goods and bads and don’t worry about comparison. If something is making me happy or sad, I should share it because it is what is going on in my life and if my friends care they will want to share in both the good and the bad.
Awe Julie! You should feel comfortable sharing your ups and downs here. Every body has “these days”. You can’t be perfect, every day! It’s good to write it down, and let it out!