All previous weekly updates and pregnancy/baby-related blog posts may be found on the Pregnancy/Baby page located at the top of this blog!
Baby Updates
Baby is almost 18 inches long and weighs nearly 5 pounds… about the size of a cantaloupe!
I know this is weird, but when I see these pictures, I feel like my belly doesn’t look nearly as large as it looks/feels in person. It’s becoming a force!
Weight Gained
22 pounds.
Workouts
I miss my workouts! Even with all the modifications I had to do before the pain in my glutes/lower back started, I LOVED working out while pregnant and exercise truly made me feel like myself and gave me such a great boost of energy and endorphins.
This week my workouts were still quite limited, but with my physical therapist’s blessing, I was able to sit on a bike (with a backrest) and get in about 30 minutes of biking at the gym five days this week. It wasn’t challenging at all and I barely worked up a sweat, but simply moving my legs felt like a blessing. I also incorporated some light strength and barre work (I just turned the volume off on my phone and followed this *free* short HIIT barre arms workout on YouTube at the gym!) and I also did certain parts of Ballet Beautiful workouts.
The Ballet Beautiful workouts can be a bit redundant (lots of counting!), so I’ll play them on silent on my laptop at home and follow along while I catch up on super-classy TV shows like The Bachelorette.
Symptoms
Bending over has started to really stink! I joke to Ryan that the “belly fights back” whenever I try to bend over to pick something up. I guess I always expected my belly to be a bit softer and roll a bit when I lean over, but man it is HARD and doesn’t move at all! Ryan told me I have a “really awesome ab” right now. My one-pack is on fire! Ha!
Some unexpected nausea rolled over from last week, but I could usually keep it at bay as long as I immediately ate something. I feel like I’m back in my first trimester when I couldn’t go more than 60 minutes without eating.
Sacroiliac pain continued full-force this week. It’s quite miserable and I feel like all those weeks of saying I felt blessed to have a relatively “easy pregnancy” are coming back to (quite literally) bite me in the butt (and lower back). My mobility is still pretty horrific and I continue to be unable to walk without a stabbing pain.
Food Aversions
None. I even ate chili this week which has been a big no go for me since my first trimester!
Food Cravings
Fruit!! (You’re totally shocked, I know.) Loving watermelon, plums and grapes.
Sushi was also a big-time favorite this week. (I stuck to pregnancy-safe California rolls.) So delicious!
Sleep
Sleep is not so great. I just cannot seem to get comfortable but reading right before bed helps a ton since I will just keep reading until I cannot keep my eyes open any longer!
Looking Forward To…
Our Childbirth Prep class on Saturday! I NEED this class. Every time I start to read about childbirth in one of my pregnancy books, I start to freak out and get knots in my stomach. I am hoping this class will help me feel more comfortable and understand more about what to expect in a way that doesn’t send me into a total panic. Let’s hope, right!?
I am also looking forward to meeting with another physical therapist on Thursday. While I absolutely love my current physical therapist (I’ve been seeing the same PT who is helping Ryan with his ACL recovery), she’s used to working with athletes and after a few sessions together without any progress, she gave me the information for another physical therapist in town who mainly works with pregnant women that I’m hoping that may be a better fit!
Any Baby/Pregnancy-Related Purchases?
You guys provided some awesome recommendations on nursing bras and tops on my post last week! Thank you! A bunch of you recommended Gilligan & O’Malley nursing tanks and bras from Target. Late last week I browsed around Target and tried a few different styles. I ended up leaving with this bra that seems like it will be both comfortable and functional. (I also have this bra, which was a baby shower gift from my mom that she bought due to the 2,000+ positive Amazon reviews.)
I’ve also started assembling my hospital bag and picking up odds and ends like travel-size face wipes (I use them daily and love them for a quick refresher), snacks, etc. Your comments on this post and on my Facebook page have been really helpful as I make my packing list!
Belly Button In Or Out?
Gradually popping out more and more with each passing week. My belly button still isn’t visible though clothing, but it’s definitely protruding a bit!
(Pic snapped on the lake at 34 weeks 6 days!)
Feeling…
My 34 week prenatal appointment obviously brought some added stress and anxiety into my life this week, but I am so grateful everything ended up okay and that I was able to see our little guy during a 3D ultrasound.
I felt mostly like myself this week but had some emotional moments, too. I don’t want to harp on the pain I’m feeling in my lower back/left glute too much because I know I sound like a broken record but there was one day this week that I began crying in the kitchen because I just felt so immobile. I was looking at roll of wrapping paper that I wanted to put away in the closet and simply walking 20 feet seemed so daunting and tears just started flowing. I felt ridiculous and frustrated and also upset with myself for feeling so emotional about something so menial, but I just couldn’t help it. A good cry actually made me feel a bit better and I’m trying really, really hard not to focus on the limitations I’m experiencing right now and instead direct my thoughts and attention to the excitement to come and the little baby I have growing inside me.
I’m also feeling more and more ready for our baby to come. Of course anxiety still comes in waves (related to both giving birth and actually being a mom), but another part of me is hoping these next few weeks pass by in a flash because I am dying to hold our little one in my arms.
My mom has graciously offered to come help us out after I deliver and this sounds fantastic to me, but I have no idea when I should have her come and for how long. Any advice on this? (Ryan gets one week of paternity leave.) My mom is the easiest person in the world and blends very well when she comes to visit, so I know having her in our house won’t add additional stress and will only help. Plus, her experience both as a nurse and a two-time mama will obviously come in handy!
I’d love to hear a little bit more about your experiences if you guys had a family member/close friend come help you out after your baby was born. How long did they stay? When did they arrive? Any insight would be appreciated! Luckily my mom is flexible and very go-with-the-flow, so I don’t really feel pressure to have it all pre-planned, but the planner in me does like to know a little bit about what I can expect!
Any Movement?
Yes! Still loving all the big rolls that seem to go across my body. Our little one always seems the most active when I lay down on the couch in the evening or hop into bed at night and first thing in the morning after I wake up.
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have you thought about seeing a chiropractor who works with pregnant women? With my second child I had HORRIBLE SI pain and getting adjusted dramatically helped me. I had to see him a few times post-delivery too to get everything back in alignment but it was the only thing that ended up helping. I was super skeptical about it until I tried it. Feel free to message me about it!
With my first baby, my MIL and SIL stayed with us for 4 of 5 days, and I was simultaneously grateful and wishing they would leave for a while lol. Having someone to hold the baby for a while so you can sleep (especially if you have a baby that fusses often even when they aren’t hungry) is absolutely amazing, but there’s also the feeling that I kind of wanted time alone for me and the hubby to spend with the baby. In my case we had just closed on our house two days before I went into labor so they also helped us unpack parts of the house which was amazing, but we also had some issues nursing, so trying to cover up while nursing so early was really difficult and stressful. I’d say there are pros and cons to having someone there to help, but as long as you feel comfortable telling people when you need your space (and they’ll listen) it would probably be nice to have your mom there right away. Labor is exhausting, having someone to help while you recover can really help you get back on your feet faster.
I didn’t have anyone stay with me but my mom lived 2 miles away and she came everyday to help me. I thank God I had her. I hit a patch of baby blues after having my babies and she was perfect in making me feel better.
You’re on the home-stretch, Julie! Hang in there! 🙂
My little guy is just over a year old, but you are giving me flashbacks to the last month or 2 of pregnancy. ie. terrible. I didn’t have the pain you have – my issue was severe swelling that turned into pre-eclampsia. But the insomnia, the discomfort, no longer feeling like yourself, the hormones, it’s all so overwhelming. And even though other people are there to support you, it can feel very lonely. I mean, when it comes down to it – no one really knows what you’re going through except you. And no one really has to deal with all that except you.
Looking back, I wish I could have seen the silver lining at the time. The ‘I am woman, hear me roar’ aspect of it. All these challenges are temporary and you are so strong to endure them. There is a reason that going through a pregnancy is almost like entering a club of women. We all suffer and we all end up stronger women in the end because of it.
Stay strong!
Hi Julie —
My Parents came and stayed with us for 10 days right after the baby was born. I was a mess – my hormones were all over the place, I was sleep deprived and no one can ever prepare you for what happens when you bring a baby home. My parents were such amazing help. They cooked. They took a shift at night with the baby so my husband and I could get about 2 hours of sleep. It is a really personal decision on when you want them to come, but if you are anything like me – having your mom around will just make you feel better!
I’m sorry about the pain you’re experiencing! 🙁 I hope you get some relief soon–maybe the new PT will be able to help?
As for thoughts on when to have your mom/people come, if your mom is anything like mine (which it sounds like she is) I’d say to have her come immediately!! It was a DREAM to have my mom there a few hours later on the day we came home from the hospital. She bought us food/cooked, took the baby at night & would bring her to me to nurse when she was hungry, let me nap while she cleaned, organized some shelves I’d been meaning to, etc. It was SO nice. This time around I’m not sure when she’ll come because my husband has paternity leave for a week, but I’m sure I’ll want her sooner rather than later with having a toddler & a newborn! p.s. As for bonding as a threesome, at the beginning it’s kind of all crazy/overwhelming, so it’s best to have someone there helping & then do the ‘bonding’ when you feel more rested. Just a thought!
As for other visitors, I was grateful no one showed up right away because I wanted to have a tiny bit of a ‘groove’ before we had people come.
This sounds like my mom exactly! I know it will be a blessing to have her with us for the first few months. The only interesting thing will be having the three (well, FOUR) of us holed up in our tiny NYC apartment. She says she’s happy to sleep on the sleeper sofa in the baby’s room so we’ll see how that goes! I do worry though that she will do too much and be even more tired than we are. Hopefully we can get a good routine going that helps everyone. At first I was worried about having my mom come too soon because I wasn’t sure if my husband and I would want to just be clueless and have alone bonding time, but I figure that we have plenty of time for that later! The hardest part (I think?) will be in the beginning because let’s be honest…I don’t even know how to swaddle or change a diaper yet. 🙂
Congrats, you are almost there! As far ad relatives and visitors after pregnancy go… I ended up having an unplanned c-section so I wasn’t allowed to do too much. My mom came over and helped. My mother in law came and did laundry and grocery shopping for us the day we got home from the hospital. I was nervous and not sure I would know what to do (thanks hormones) so it was nice to have these pros here to help and reassure us that we could do this. We had been exhausted. It’s a lot of work the first few months which is why they call it your fourth trimester for a reason . you will bounceback. I was so thankful for all the help i had. Also good suggestion to freeze some meals ahead of time so you can just thaw and cook. You will be busy those first few months. I was always told to sleep when your baby slept and I always was the one to think that I had to clean, etc. Looking back I wish I would have listened. Take care of yourself as you willbe caring for your little pprecious boy!!!
Well, when my mom had my brother last year (her seventh-yep!-child), our aunt came up from Tampa to help out. As I remember it, she came about five days before the due date, and stayed for a week afterwards. It was really nice!
I had a few visitors at the hospital so it wasn’t too bad but if I had to do it again I would probably hold off on the visitors for the first 2-3 weeks until I felt a little bit more energy. My child’s father couldn’t get any time off of work so my mother came to stay with us for about a week on the day we got home from the hospital. This was a huge help because we were both exhausted and it was great to have her take the baby for a few hours while we caught up on some sleep, you feel like a walking zombie in the beginning. She also helped with other tasks such as cooking and shopping and that was a big relief. Having someone to help for a week or two in the beginning, whether it’s your mother or your husband will be tremendous help.
Your bump is so cute!! I am so excited for you being so close to meeting your boy and thinking about all these plans! Although I am sure it’s a bit anxiety provoking at the same time. You are gunna be great! I love following your updates because I am about 10 weeks behind you so only a matter of time for me too.
I’m a new mom to a sweet 11 week old baby boy. My husband also had the first week off which was so nice! My mom came the second week once my husband was back to work. This was so perfect because it was so fun and such a bonding time when my husband and I had that time together to snuggle him and learn so much as a new little family! Also, your mom is going to want to help as much as possible. I suggest having her make dinners or help make a few freezer meals for when you are on your own. Hope this helps!! 🙂 can’t wait to see your little man!!
Hi Julie! My little one is 4 months old (she was my first!) and I felt the exact same way about my mom coming–she offered and is amazing, but I was worried that it might affect my husband and my bonding time with just the baby (I am super close with my family and we spend a lot of time with them, so I just wanted to be sensitive of my husband and our own family bond). Anyway, as it turns out, I started off telling her she could come a few days after the baby was born (she was there at the birth but lives close enough to just come back). Well, she actually ended up staying the first few days, and I was SO GLAD! Learning to nurse is overwhelming and so is, well, everything haha. My mom brought her to me at night so I could nurse so I could sleep a bit and helped clean, and cook, which added some normalcy to our routine (clean house, warm meal, etc.) Neither my husband or I were worried about “bonding” when in the newborn trenches and truly appreciated all the help we could get. Just more love for the little one, is now my opinion! I needed my mom for emotional support too as your hormones are all over the place. You will get more confident as a mama every day, but at the beginning, you might need your own mommy a bit! 🙂
I loved having the solo family time, with just me, my ex and our sweet daughter before he went back to work, but my situation was a little bit different because I had a c-section so I was in the hospital for a few days and then my ex only had one more day off by the time we went home. My mom lived very close by, so she came every day for the first week, and my mother-in-law came every day for the second week because I was a little bit more mobile at that time. You sound like you can get emotional regarding the change of becoming a mom, which I dealt with the first few weeks.. It can be a very scary change, even though it is also the BEST change possible! Having someone like your mom there who will give you the confidence you sometimes need as a new mom is a wonderful gift!
Hope your new PT can help with the pain. I can’t imagine how challenging it must be to be so pregnant AND in so much pain!
We had my parents come and stay for a week after my daughter was born (she’s 4 months old now). We had them wait until she was 2 weeks old to come, which I thought was perfect. It gave us a week and a half at home to get into a routine and bond with the baby without anyone else around. Once we were in a bit of a groove, I knew what I needed help with and what I just wanted to do myself. We had several friends who had family stay with them immediately and their feedback was that they all wished they’d had some time alone with the baby first. Good luck and hope you feel better soon!
My mom, sister, and hubby were in the room when I had my little girl and it was wonderful! Such an awesome experience! My dad was also in the room until right before I had her, and that was great as well 🙂 As for visitors, I had a ton! They kind of just came in groups at different times. It was awesome to have all of that love and support, but I definitely had a busy hospital room to of the time. It just depends on your preference 🙂
Goodness, you are getting so close and look awesome! We had my mom come in for a week after both babies were born and it was amazing. Since Ryan goes back to work after a week, would your mom want to stay for 2 weeks? That first week she can be super helpful for you guys with stuff around the house, and of course with the baby,and then she will be there when Ryan leaves the second week, to help you get in your groove. My mom and I are incredibly close and she also blends in really well with our family. My hubby love having her in town! I was so sore and slow moving after my first baby due to some tearing and an episiodomy, that having help was really key in my recovery.
I tend to be a do it myself, kind of person, so letting go of control and asking for help was something I would definitley reccomend whenever Baby gets there. I let my mom do laundry, clean, cook, go grocery shopping/run errands, walk dogs, and of course snuggle with the babies. We were really lucky to be so spoiled. Also we limited visitors to 1 a day, as it can be super overwhelming at first. I personally loved having my family in town to help share with all of the wonderful new memories with each of our babies.
I am blessed to have a mom that I am very close with and comfortable with and whom my husband gets along with very well so having her for 3 weeks (!!!!!!) after both our babies were born was my saving grace both times! It was so helpful because she became the cook in the house. If my husband had been responsible we would have had cereal and soup for weeks. 🙂 As for when, I can’t help you there. My first baby was two weeks late, which ended in an induction and csection and my second baby was a week late (had hoped for a VBAC) with a scheduled csection. My mom was here a week early for my first so ended up being here for a month and then with the second she came right at my due date. If you have her come at your due date I bet you would be fine! Sorry about the back pain. It will all be worth it in the end! 🙂
You’re looking great! In terms of having your mum come, it is totally personal preference but I would say enjoy the first week with Ryan and have her come the day before he has to go to work. That way you’ll get time just the three of you and your mum will arrive when you really need an extra set of hands!
I’m so sorry about the pain you’re in – I hope it gets better! I ended up having an unplanned C-Section after a long labor, and we were in the hospital for about three days. We had my mother-in-law help us out for another four days after we left the hospital. My mobility was still pretty terrible when we left, so it was really nice having someone there right when we got home to handle the cooking and cleaning while the hubby and I were bonding with our daughter!
One week of paternity leave?! That’s not okay!
I can’t remember how long y’all have been in the current city, but if he’s been at his job for a year by the time you give birth, he should be entitled to the full twelve weeks granted by the Family and Medical Leave Act. It’s generally unpaid and pulls from vacation/sick time, but look into it!
I am so sorry to hear about the pain that you are experiencing. I am just about 33 weeks and can relate to not wanting to bend down as my belly gets in the way. I told a friend that I have a serious internal discussion every time I drop something on if I should bend over or wait until my husband is around to help. This is making group fitness classes a bit challenging when having to pick weights up off the floor.
I also hear you with the emotions. Mine are EVERYWHERE! To be honest I got a little sad/teary just reading the struggles that you are going through.
And my Mom is coming to stay with us the week following our baby’s arrival. My husband is not taking any leave when she comes as he works for his family business and they are very behind. But many of my friends suggested the week following the birth is the best time for help. They said having their parents there right when they got home was a huge help with cooking, cleaning, and getting everything settled.
Wishing you the best and sending you positive thoughts!
I also
Definitely have your mom stay and help out! My mom stayed for two weeks, but 6 of those days I was in the hospital. She was such a huge help and it allowed me to get more sleep. If her time is limited, I would have her stay as long as she can, and then once she leaves have Ryan take his paternity leave. Work out “shifts” if you can! My husband and I split the night up so he would take the baby from say 9pm-3am and I would get to sleep, and then I would take over at 3am so he could sleep. It can be challenging so you’ll want ALL the help you can get! Remember you aren’t alone, although it can feel that way if you’re nursing, but reach out and let others do as much as they can! So excited for you!!
Oh, and I pre-made a bunch of dinners and casseroles and froze them for once the baby was here. That way when I was too tired to cook we could still have something at home with little effort and easy clean up!
I am so sorry to hear am that your glute pain is still persisting. I hope it gets better soon. That sounds so wonderful that your mom is going to come stay with you and Ryan to help out a bit after the baby is born. I don’t have any personal experience with this yet, but my mom said her mother did it for her and it was the most amazing thing and helped her recover. I hope others are able to provide more specific details.
Moms help is the best thing in the world! My husband had a week off too so we did the first week on out own and then my mom came the 2nd week. It was amazing!! My husband and I really enjoyed the bonding time on our own and I think it helped us in the long run to figure things out on our own. Then when she came the 2nd week it was like a breath of fresh air bc I think the 2nd week was harder but the lack of sleep sets in and u really need the extra help and support. Whatever u decide it’s just amazing to share this time w your mom….and she gets to see u become a mom which is an amazing gift. Best of luck!!
We ended up having a scheduled C section since our baby girl was breech. We had my mom come the Saturday before our Monday morning birth. This way she could get acclimated with the area and where things were for shopping stuff. And she stayed for 3 weeks (with my dad joining her for the last week). We decided on that time frame since I wasn’t allowed to move much for the first 2 weeks after surgery. We have 3 dogs so this was extra helpful in making sure they got some extra loving too!
You’re adorable! I”m sorry about the pain. Is physical therapy helping at all? I’m going through some PT right now too for pregnancy pains, but it’s pelvic pain instead. I can’t tell if the therapy is helping or not, but it feels good to at least be proactive about it!
We had a similar situation where my husband had the 1st week off after the baby was born. My mom then came when he went back to work. It’ll be nice for you guys to have that week to yourselves to enjoy your new family of 3. If you have any questions or concerns, your mom will just be a phone call away. You will do absolutely fine! Don’t worry!
I am lucky enough to have my parents live 10 minutes down the road – I even had my mom in the room when I gave birth along with my husband (I worried that would be totally weird, but it wasn’t!). I am not sure if you are open to having your mom in the room during that time, but if you are, I would recommend it. Moms have been through it. I also know that my mom cherishes the fact that she got to be there for the birth of my son! It’s a bonding thing.
However, I also would recommend Week 2 as an important time. My husband only had one week off as well, and that first week alone with the baby after he went back to work was really tough…
Hi Julie!! I’m so sorry about all the pain you are experiencing. Just a few more weeks! I highly recommend having your mom come. Both my mom and sister came when I went into labor and were here by the time my little guy was born. My mom ended up staying for three weeks and even though my husband was off for the first week it was so helpful! She grocery shopped, cooked, did laundry, and took my baby when I desperately needed sleep. She was amazing!! Good luck! I’m slightly biased but little boys are the best!
You are soo close! It’s so exciting/scary at this stage! We had my mom come about 1 week before I was due, and she stayed 3-4 weeks after. I went into labor on my due date, so it worked out really well. We all thought I would go early (because my mom and my sister were at least 2 weeks early with all of their pregnancies), so we figured this would maximize time. I don’t know what we would have done without her! I had a rough labor and could barely walk for several weeks, so having her there to help my husband out with EVERYTHING was awesome. I just nursed the baby and recovered while they did everything else. And having her there a little early was actually really reassuring and she helped us get some of those last-minute things done before baby came.
How long does your mom plan to stay? I would say if it is a short amount of time to do it after Ryan goes back to work. It is a little isolating being a new mom and being all alone in the house all day. When my husband went back to work (2-weeks), it would have been so wonderful to have someone else in the house during the day to talk to and help out.
Also, I know some people do not like to have visitors right after the baby is born, but I loved it. Our visitors always brought food and would help out around the house. Even if it was just holding the baby while I got to pump (we had trouble breast feeding) and eat a meal.
You will soon figure out what is best for you and your new family very quickly. Just always remember to have visitors bring food! 🙂
Sorry you are still in so much pain 🙁
Class is definitely better than reading it in the books. Books can be very overwhelming, and its great when an educator can teach you in person.
You are so close!! I have had 4 and my Mom had been such a help each time. If it were me I would have her be there for a few days after your husband goes back to work. Week 2 is when the exhaustion really hits and well as some fierce hormone swings and having a Mom really helps! I bet your Mom won’t be able to stay away too long once that baby comeS!!
I totally agree with you — your bump looks so much smaller in photos than it does in real life! 🙂
Find a chiropractor that specializes in pre-natal chiropractic! I have not been pregnant, but my chiro adjusts pregnant women all the time. I started going to see after dealing with some very painful sacroiliac pain myself, so I can totally relate to the tears and stress you are feeling. It’s very overwhelming and discouraging when you start to feel like you can’t do normal things because of the pain. Seeing a chiro changed my life and I have been going for almost 5 years now. It took me a while to get up the courage to go because I was always afraid of “bone crushers” but that’t not what most of them do and the science really does back it up. All a medical doctor does is prescribe pain medication, which helps in a really serious situation, but it’s not a long term solution when your bones have moved. And a PT is great but if you’re just treating the muscle and not the bones, once again, you’re not treating the whole problem. That nerve pain isn’t going to go away if your bones are out of alignment and pinching it. I just can’t stress enough how much chiropractic care has helped me with hereditary chronic back pain! Get a referral from someone you know and trust. Also, don’t bother with insurance, it’s cheaper and easier to pay out of pocket (I’m in South Florida where cost of living is high and each visit is $50 and I pay on a bi-monthly payment plan). I hope you feel better soon!
Also, this may be impossible (again, never been preggo) but what about some support? I wear an SI belt like this one: http://zogomedical.com/active-si-belt-sacroilic-belt?gclid=CNK7gtOizMYCFYY9gQod4CkNVg when I am experiencing pain to help stabilize the joint. Maybe if you can fit it around the bump it would help?
Whenever you start to feel sad or down, just be thankful that you are carrying a child. My aunt just went through her second in vitro procedure, and had 4 embryos in total not take. I’m 25 and not married, and thanks to her, already understand the importance of not taking pregnancy for granted! You’re so close! 🙂
Okay hope this doesn’t sound preachy, but I had a baby a year ago and has so many of the same pregnancy symptoms you’re describing. It’s debilitating! I wish I’d known about the V2 support. Google it. It’s ridiculous looking, but makes a world of difference for that “heavy” feeling during pregnancy and postpartu, and it provides some hip stability that can help with that nerve pain. . Absolutely worth the money. Hopefully the new PT helps. I’ve found a world of difference between typical PTs and ones who are accustomed to dealing with pelvic issues. My PT also has a blog that’s really helpful for common pregnancy and PP pains: http://www.foundationalconcepts.net/the-pelvic-chronicles-blog
A thousand times YES to having your mom come help!!!!! My husband only had a day off after we got home from the hospital and, because we lived so far from his work, he generally wasn’t home until like 9 in the evening. I cried way more than my baby in the forts couple months. No lie. It was so very hard. I didn’t want to admit that I needed help because I thought it would make me a failure. If I could go back in time, I would beg my mom to stay with us. You will not regret the help in the beginning. If for anything, to have someone bring you food! Asking for help is my number one word of advice.
I would for sure suggest your mom coming either the day before or the day Ryan goes back to work. That first week, didn’t want anyone around and i just wanted to cuddle with my dude and enjoy watching my husband with him. But the first day my husband went back to work was rough. Not because of the baby but just emotionally. My mom came over that day which was a blessing, but once she left it was definitely sad.Also, once my husband went back to work, I took over nights 100% because he had work the next morning. Plus, I nursed so there wasn’t much for him to do. But it would have been nice to either hang out with someone or for someone to take him once I fed him if he was having trouble getting back to sleep so I could catch a few minutes of sleep.
I never had my mom and dad come stay with me but that’s because they live an hour away. They did come up to see me at the hospital and then came up and brought dinner our first night home – but I’m glad I didn’t have her stay with us. It was really nice for my husband and I to figure things out together and for us to get into somewhat of a routine. Once he started back to work and things got lonely, I wanted my mom or a friend to come over for a bit for some adult conversation. We had my in laws wait until our daughter was almost 4 weeks old to come out and stay with us. As much as I love my in laws, I don’t always love being told what to do. So having them wait gave me time to figure out breastfeeding, soothing techniques, sleeping, etc. Plus by then my husband and I were ready for a date and were able to go out to dinner one night and to a going away party another.
Good luck the rest of the way! So fun watching/reading about your pregnancy. I’m due 6 weeks after you so reading your blog is helping me remember things I need to do (again) before baby #2 comes.
Have your mom plan to come on your due date. Everyone’s relationship with their mom/inlaws are different, but you seem very close. I think having her from the beginning will help so much. That’s what we did and I wish she could have stayed longer!
If your mom is able to spend at least a couple of weeks with you, then I would suggest having her come right after you are released from the hospital. Because you are already feeling very emotional and a bit anxious, the stresses and hormones following labor and delivery can often make those emotions and anxieties worse, so I would suggest having your mom there as soon as possible to calm and care for you, I am sure Ryan will be a help, but this is all new for him too and new fathers can feel just as overwhelmed and sleep deprived as new moms. This way you and Ryan can care for your son and your mom can care for you and Ryan. I have had 3 children and each time I was never more thankful for my mom as I was in those first few weeks postpartum..
As a mom of three, I agree whole heartedly!
I agree too! Have your mom & or sister there to help as much as they can from the very beginning.
Although you will be worn out and want to just spend time with your baby in your OWN home after being stuck in the hospital for a few days, I would recommend having your mom be there for you within the few days you get out of the hospital. Even with my hubby home for 3 weeks, we still had no time to clean, cook, do laundry, run errands between the two of us. It would be good for her to be there for you not only emotionally, but also to help out with the cooking and cleaning!
So sorry to hear about the pain you are experiecing. Fingers crossed you get some relief soom. You look awesome though – so enjoying your updates.
I had my mom here when my baby was born 8 weeks ago. It was amazing!!! Looking back, I can’t imagine not having her, or at least someone. My husband had one week too but you’re both so tired and confused and unsure, so having someone else helps. Especially when you’re close to your mom!!! We’ve actually had family around a lot. They all live about 4 hours away so they’ve been rotating often and I’ve gone to them a few times. You never know what you’ll face with a newborn so if your mom has the flexibility, plan about 2 weeks and leave the date tentative. My baby ended up with severe acid reflux and a milk protein allergy. It didn’t come right away but around 2-3 weeks. By then my mom was gone. My baby screamed nonstop. I was all alone. It was the hardest time in my life. Ever. So be prepared for things to either be difficult in the normal sense, and know that other things could happen!!! I pray you don’t experience what I did but having someone around will make it better if you do!!! Good luck to you and your little one!!!! It’s absolutely amazing:)
As a mom to three, I say have your mom come and help as soon as possible. Things change when you get home. There are no nurses to help and reality can hit hard. Your mom sounds like she will be a big help around the house and with any concerns you may have as a new mom. I wouldn’t recommend a ton of visitors at first but a super helpful mommy is necessary, even for a grown woman!
Have your mom stay as long as possible!! I think dads should get more than a weeks paternity leave. Take all the help you can get.
i have no pregnancy advice, but i DO know pain. it is incredibly frustrating and something that’s very hard for others to fully “get” especially when you define yourself as an active woman. just remind yourself that the pain is all leading someplace…it is “productive pain” (a term i coined during one of my zillion rounds of PT) since, like the soreness after a good w/o, it is leading someplace (vs pain that has no point…).
try to listen to your body and rest as much as you can…i am totally in a pot/kettle situation there since i had my doc even put in his file that i tend to overdo things or, as he put it, i need to be saved from myself. recruit ryan to encourage you to rest and keep you busy (i’m more likely to try and skip a rest day when i am on my own and/or a bit bored). your body is VERY busy and that’s a workout in itself!