I swear Ryan and I are a magnet for lost dogs.
Yesterday on my walk with Sadie, a healthy-looking lab with a collar ran up to us and started sniffing Sadie’s business. (She was not a fan.) We found the owners nearby and returned the dog that just happened to escape out of their backyard fence.
And then there was the unexpected running buddy, a lab that joined Ryan, Sadie and me for two miles of one of the long runs of our half marathon training plan.
I’ve literally reunited at least five missing dogs with their owners in the past three years. It’s insane!
This morning, as Ryan and I drove to the gym, a miniature pincher was wandering in the middle of a busy street. He looked so lost and scared and we pulled over, calling to him and doing our best to coax him into our car so we could check his collar and help him find his home.
He was very timid and I could tell that he wanted to come over to us, but was too scared. We tried and tried to get him to come to no avail. Eventually he took off running in the opposite direction, down a neighborhood street. We then saw a car turn around and put on their hazard lights, so we’re hoping they were his owners. We didn’t see any sign of him when we drove home from the gym, which is a good thing.
Workout
Today’s workout was rather blah. I just wasn’t in the zone, but even a crappy workout is better than nothing, right?
I completed 10 minutes on the arc trainer before doing a super-fast, not incredibly challenging leg workout before concluding my workout with 15 minutes on the elliptical.
Hoping tomorrow’s workout is better!
Breakfast
I just happened to look at the clock right before I started assembling breakfast this morning and noticed that this breakfast staple of mine only takes five minutes to assemble!
That includes the time it takes to cook two eggs, toast a bagel and everything!
And you can grab it to eat on the run if you’re in a rush to get out of the house. Yummy breakfasts don’t have to be time consuming. Mmm!
Plus Ones
Yesterday I got an email from a friend of mine who is currently struggling with the guest list for her upcoming wedding. She asked me about how Ryan and I handled “plus ones” at our wedding… Did we give every single guest a “plus one” regardless of whether or not they were in a relationship or did we invite some people as solo riders?
This was actually one of the areas where Ryan and I differed in opinion.
Ryan thought everyone should be allowed to bring a guest. While I agree with this in theory (and in a budget-free world!), I know that every single “plus one” adds up to a lot of money!
We were trying to work within a budget as most couples are and I thought it was smart to only allow guests who were currently in a relationship to bring a plus one. (I had one caveat: If we knew the guest would know no one else at the wedding, then they could bring a date since we didn’t want anyone to feel awkward or completely alone.) I knew we had a good handful of single people coming to our wedding and figured it wouldn’t be too coupley and weird for those who came without a date. Plus, I didn’t want a whole bunch of people I had never met attending our wedding.
In the end, we ended up giving everyone a plus one. I conceded because I feel like bringing a date to a wedding, regardless as to whether or not you’re in a relationship, can make some people feel more at ease. We adjusted our budget in other areas to allow for this to happen and, as luck would have it, most of the people who were invited with a plus one that we knew weren’t in a relationship came alone hoping to party it up and mingle with other unattached folks.
I can honestly see all sides of the argument for and against the inclusion of plus-ones.
An advice columnist that tackles wedding etiquette questions on the New York Times’ website answered this plus-one question this way:
“Today’s standard plus-one is someone who is married to, engaged to, living with and, yes, in a long-term relationship with the invited wedding guest. Beyond these ‘must invites,’ your plus-one decisions will be based on budget and consistency. If it’s only a few and it’s not a budget buster, you might consider asking them all. But if that’s not the case (and let’s be realistic here), come up with a clear parameter. Even so, without a plus-one invitation, some of your single guests may not want to attend. In the end, that’s their choice.”
So what do you think?
Question of the Morning
- When it comes to the wedding guest list, do you think every guest should be allowed to bring a plus one, or should plus ones be limited to guests who are in a relationship?
- If you’re married, how did you handle the plus one debate?
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Interesting topic! I do think that everyone should be allowed to bring a “plus one”. If it was me, and I was attending a wedding as a single person, I would want to have that option. On the other hand, I do understand the budget side of this argument, and if it can’t be done, then it simply can’t be done!
For our wedding, we included plus one with all the single guests. What made me mad though was when people responded they’d come or bring a plus one, and didn’t! Now that was a waste of money!
yesssss.
I also gave every single person a plus one and numerous people said they were bringing a guest and didn’t. So annoying! But if I could do it again, I’d still offer a plus one to all.
Also, instead of “plus ones” for the people in relationships, we specifically put both people’s names. I was horrified when I was invited to my friend’s wedding and my husband (who was my boyfriend of SIX years at the time) was just listed as a “plus one”.
Great debate!! I think I’m in the same mindset as you were initially, when you said everyone that already had a significant other should be allowed to bring them, or if they’d know absolutely no one else. But now that you’ve sort of opened my mind to the reasons for letting everyone do so, I suppose its ok. I don’t think I’d do it if I was having a massive wedding already, but in the future I plan to invite close friends and family, so the numbers don’t get too out of hand. PS I’m still admiring your wedding photos – they’re gorgeous!
My husband played baseball in both high school and college, so he had a ton of friends he wanted to invite to the wedding, but I knew that giving a plus one would raise the cost tremendously and might make my venue of choice feel tight. In the end, we invited plus ones for everyone with significant others, and everyone else was invited as a single. A couple people asked if they could bring their new significant other and I was totally fine with that, but what I wouldn’t have been okay with is people saying ‘I have to find someone to bring.’ In the end though, everyone had a blast, all of the singles were dancing and having as much fun as the couples, and we saved over $1,000! I agree with Julie though, it’s a personal decision! 🙂
That was SUCH a tough subject. Our list was infinitely longer than I had hoped, and my one bridesmaid felt left out without bringing a guest – but she was the only one without a boyfriend. She asked me 4 days before the wedding if she could bring someone (didn’t even have a person in mind!) and I had to be firm and say it was too late to add another person.
Getting ready to send out invites to the wedding this weekend. We feel with a guest list of already over 400, why not just add a plus one for everyone. We both plan to only get married once, so make it the biggest and best party they ever go to.
Oh my gosh.. I had a stray dog come up to my house last night! He was wet (not sure why as it hasn’t rained recently), skinny, shivering and obviously hungry. We fed him and kept him overnight and I took him to animal control this morning. I got his number and if no one claims him in 5 days I’m going back to pick him up so he doesn’t get euthanized.
I would love to keep him, but I already have two of my own. If anyone know any animal shelters in the Atlanta area that are currently accepting strays, please let me know! He’s a beagel/bassett hound mix and oh so adorable!
My husband and I agreed that only people who were married, engaged or in a long-term, serious relationship could bring a plus-one. We were on a very tight budget (my husband has a huge family), and I didn’t really like the idea of having someone I didn’t know at my wedding (or the idea of spending a large amount of money on food and drinks for some random person one of my husband’s single friends found to bring along). Most of our single friends completely understood and because most everyone knew each other, it wasn’t an issue. However, we did have one guest who decided that even though his envelope was only addressed to him, he decided to add his on/off-again girlfriend’s name to the RSVP. After consulting with my wedding planner, we decided that yes, that was incredibly rude, to not even call and ask if he could bring her but in the long-run, it would be more awkward to say something to him rather than just let it go and let him bring her (which we did). After my own wedding, I’ve been much more appreciative of the invites we receive because I know how difficult it can be to decide on a guest list and how the cost per person can add up!
We let everyone bring a +1 because we had a variety of friend groups coming — friends from high school, college, grad school(s), family friends, church, etc. — and we wanted people to be comfortable and enjoy our wedding without feeling like they were alone.
True—a crappy workout is better than none. GO you!!
I agree with all sides–that is a tricky situation to handle with plus ones!
I get so anxious when I see loose dogs. I’ve chased many dogs down because they were roaming busy streets alone . More often than not, the owners are a block away ambling along! It makes me sick that they’re so seemingly unconcerned about their dog running out into traffic. 🙁
I am torn on this issue and also think it depends on budget, space, and circumstances, however I agreed with you. When we got married, several of our friends were single and knew each other and we knew they would be fine as one big crew partying it up! I did give a couple people a +1 who, like you said, knew no one else at the wedding. Unfortunately, our issue was space, the place we got married just didn’t allow room for all those extra people. Not to mention I wouldn’t have known them and I wasn’t about moving my wedding reception to a larger location so that my friends could bring random dates. I knew most of them woudn’t have brought anyone anyway! I think most of them understood…
What really irritated me was that my cousin, knowing our situation (stressed out over lack of space) asked me if she could bring a guest. Meanwhile she was not dating AT ALL at the time. That irritated me and I had to tell her no….
I agree! That is what i am doing for my wedding in September – I am limited on space right now – besides the fact that i’m already barking up $200pp. I am not doing that to have friends bring random’s to my wedding or any no shows.
And the cousin? OMG that is sooo rude and i would have told her that is was rude and to never do that to anyone in the future!!!
that’s got to be good karma, julie 🙂 i would hope that if sadie ever wanders out of the yard (again) that another good samaritan will return her quickly, just like you’ve done for other people!
We had a small wedding (68 people) and decided to only extend plus one’s to people who were in long-term relationships. It was a tough decision, but we knew our singles would know other people with it being a small wedding and we didn’t want a bunch of strangers we didn’t know who had never met us, either. We even had a love connection with a couple who met at our wedding and are currently dating!
oh and wanted to eidt my response to add that anyone who was in a relationship was invited with a plus one…even if they were not engaged/married. I’m referring to the ones that were single as single could be!
I was once invited to a wedding without a +1, despite being in a fairly serious relationship at the time. It was a family wedding, so I was not able to say no on principle. I was really hurt by that, I felt like my relationship wasn’t acknowledged. When it was my turn to get married, I wanted to make sure everyone had a +1, if I knew they were in a relationship or not. I never wanted anyone to feel as hurt as I did.
Of course, to this day I don’t live down that wedding. Eventually I was able to bring my boyfriend at the time. Too bad he was a complete nightmare at the wedding and we broke up a few months later. You win some, you lose some.
i’m in a serious relationship (well, engaged now!) and if I didn’t get to bring my boyfriend (pretend we aren’t engaged) then I’d totally understand. I mean I’d know that it had nothing to do w/ my boyfriend and everything to do with money. People have to be sensitive to other peoples budgets and limits. If one wants to be there for person XYZ on their wedding day then that is all it should be about, it shouldn’t depend on if you get a date or not.
I’m personally (as if you couldn’t tell!) in the situation right now of feeling like I HAVE to give everyone a plus one that are in any sort of relationship (anyone that is living together/engaged/long term etc was getting a plus one to begin with) and it really sucks. I’m now NOT inviting people I would love to be there just bc of this whole deal of people being hurt by not getting a date.
basically i’m concerned about what others think and therefore i’m giving all of these people plus ones, but I wish that the whole expectation of plus ones would to change.
Here’s the honest truth: Most people won’t bring a date if they are not dating someone. We had maybe one person bring a date that wasn’t a girlfriend/fiance/spouse.
yes, i think you are right, Stephanie. I guess part of the problem is that my dad doesn’t see it that way.
I understand budget issues and not wanting people to bring randoms to your wedding. I am going through this decision right now with my own wedding. However I was invited to a wedding solo when I was living with my now fiancé and we had been dating for 3 plus years. I felt that was really wrong, looking back I should have rsvped no and not gone at all. I still hold slight resentment to this couple.
My brother and his fiance are going through this right now. We did all plus ones except if they were cousins or family members under 18. Although my 19 year old cousin ended up bringing his “guy friend” instead of a real date which annoyed me. I wasn’t too happy about spending $150 for a baseball team buddy I had never met!
we had one person do that too… :/
gah – that’s exactly what I’m worried about! this topic is SO hard
We had a fraternity brother come as a plus one as well! Oh well…
I haven’t gotten married yet, but all the weddings I have been invited to have sent plus-one invites. Previous to the relationship I am in now I would go solo. I’d like to think that it’s what many people chose to do when in that situation.
as someone who dates but does not usually have a serious boyfriend, i get kinda annoyed when people in relationships are given plus ones, and i am not. just because i’m not calling someone my boyfriend doesn’t mean that i don’ t want to have a date at a wedding OR that i don’t have someone i’d like to bring! i was IN a wedding and was not given a plus one, and that just put me over the edge. it was pretty awkward sitting at the table for the bridal party while everyone else was slow dancing around! i know i have other friends who’ve been in similar situations, and they were dreading the wedding because of their lack of plus one.
i think you definitely did the right thing by allowing for it in your budget.
YES – I was in a wedding, as well, once and not invited with a date. I barely knew anyone there, and it just wasn’t fun at all.
This! I’m 30, single, and already feeling pretty down at weddings because I’m not attached. Not letting me bring a “plus one” makes it even worse.
exactly! weddings can definitely become more than just a wedding when you’re older and single. it can be a really touchy issue with certain people. it doesn’t bother me to be “single” at 28 because i just haven’t found the right guy yet. it does bother me, however, when i am one of the very few single ones at a wedding. sitting out while everyone else is slow dancing or being couple-y can be downright depressing for even the most independent of us.
single without a plus one at a wedding, i mean*
Same thing happened to me- I was supposed to be a bridesmaid and was not given a plus one, despite having been in a relationship for over a year. I was also unable to afford the bridesmaid dress, and when I brought up both of these issues (with my “best friend” the bride), she flipped out. I would’ve understood if she had just said never mind, don’t be a bridesmaid, but I never even got an invite to the wedding. That was the end of that “friendship.” Good riddance.
Side note; due to this situation I was in, my fiance and I have decided that EVERYone gets a plus one. I understand the budget reasoning as well, but if you CAN allow it, do it! Not worth the argument and sacrificing others’ fun and comfort at your wedding.
I’ve been in a few weddings & I must say this dilemma always comes up. As a single person, I’m definitely sensitive to it but for the most part if I haven’t been offered a plus one, there have been plenty of other single people at the party to mingle with.
The only situation where I felt extremely awkward was when I was a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding a couple years ago. The wedding party was on the smaller side (4 bridesmaids total). ALL of the groomsmen were given a plus one, but NONE of the bridesmaids were. To make matters worse, the bride & groom wanted the wedding party to sit together so the bridesmaids, groomsmen and yes, their dates were all together at one table. Needless to say, we made the best of it but it was certainly unorthodox.
I am totally with Ryan. I am getting married this year, at 33 years old and even on a very tight budget, we are inviting everyone with a +1. I think my perspective is mostly because I spent many years single (and honestly happily so!). I was RARELY invited with a plus one to weddings and as you get older and older, everyone is coupled up. This is going to sound terrible, but I was actually so bored and uncomfortable at some of those weddings because there weren’t a ton of single people there and everyone would be out dancing as couples, and I would be sitting at a table solo. So, I think that its best to always offer the option of a date to someone – they can bring their new boyfriend, a friend, their mom, or they may come alone! But, give them the option…
My wedding was a little different because it was a destination wedding followed by a reception a month later at home. We were firm on invites for the wedding itself, but had an unofficial open door policy for the reception. We addressed the invites to singles and didn’t add “and guest,” but we let everyone who asked bring a date.
I think this is such a great question and something that comes up a lot when you are in your 20’s and invited to endless weddings! My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and don’t live together and there have been many, many times where we are invited to weddings without the other. It’s hard because it seems weird to go without each other, but you have to respect the couple’s wishes! Ideally I think any guests who have been in a realtionship for over 6 months should get a “plus one.” Just my opinion- and might change if I plan my own wedding! : )
Try having an Indian wedding- the list never ends- there’s always someone you know via via via someone else that would potentially be offended if they didnt receive an invite!
One of my best friends is Indian, and getting married in June and I’m a bridesmaid. And wow, you are not kidding! Their engagment party was bigger than an wedding I’ve ever been too, and the bride had to spend the whole time meeting people that were exactly that (invites who were via via via someone else). Their wedding in June is 4-5 days long, and the guest list is uncomfortably big. No elephant though, only because of laws in NJ, not for lack of trying. I’m super excited.
i hope the pup found his owners too!
i like your positive attitude about your not-so-great workout. we all have them every so often, but the way you still got in something and have high hopes for the next day is awesome.
as for the plus one debate… i certainly see both sides of it. for money sake, a plus one for everyone adds up to a lot of extra money, like you said. especially if the venue charges per head. however, i would want someone to be able to bring a date if they wanted too. we ended up not allowing the plus one because of budget reasons. we felt bad, but you gotta do what you gotta do sometimes!
I was wondering if children were invited to your wedding Julie. I’ve been to some that allowed people’s kids and others that were adults-only. Just curious!
I think that only people who are in a serious relationship should be plus one. If someone is uncomfortable coming alone they will add a guest to the RSVP (this seems rude, but people did it to us!). I do think some consideration should be given to if there are going to be other single people there. Weddings are expensive and I don’t think people should bring a guest, just to bring a guest. The day is supposed to be about the bride and groom.
My husband and I both completely agreed with you…guests only got a plus one if they woudn’t know a lot of people at the wedding. It seemed to work out and there weren’t any complaints, that I know of.
We did have a few people write in a guest…but that was OK with us.
We also try to track down lost dogs. They need someone to help them! 🙂
I’m not married but I can imagine it would feel a lot more comfortable bringing a partner or buddy. On the other hand, you’re right- you don’t want too many strangers at your wedding… they may just be coming for the free food! 😉
i’ve often thought about this one…especially since when i was engaged before we were debating it and now with kevin and his HUGE family and my semi-large family…i just dont see how everyone having plus-ones would work. Its really hard when you already have a large guest list without even taking into consideration plus ones, lol.
The plus one debate is such a sticky one! It was something I debated with as well, but in the end we decided to invite everyone with a plus one. Since invitations go out so early, I wanted everyone to have the option, especially since 6 months can make a big difference in terms of being in or out of a serious relationship! The only exception was my cousins. I have a large, large family – and if every cousin brought a girlfriend or boyfriend, I’d have had about 10 16-18 year olds that I never met before at my wedding. For younger family members, I went with the “only if they’re engaged” rule.
I ended up not attending a dear friend’s wedding over this issue. He only invited one other person that I knew, and he was in the wedding party (with a date) so I couldn’t even sit with him. The party required me to drive (so I didn’t know anyone and couldn’t have a drink) and when I honestly told my friend that this was my issue – not wanting to drive by myself, not be able to have a drink, sit alone – his response was that I should take a hotel room out there. So in other words, “you spend the extra money, because I’m not”. At that point I’d been with my boyfriend about 5-6 months but it really would have made all the difference. Driving somewhere I didn’t know alone, sitting by myself, not being able to drink, and then driving home alone in the dark (or spending more $ to take a hotel room) wasn’t happening.
your decision makes total sense to me!
Wonderful topic and one that has been mine and my fiance’s worries lately. I side with you where unless they are living together or in a long-term relationship I do not see the reason to give them a plus-one when we are working on a tight budget. However my fiance things the opposite. It has caused for some headaches but I am hoping that they just don’t bring someone (bad of me? I’m sure it is!)
Definitely an interesting topic! I’ve run into an interesting one this year…I am a bridesmaid in a wedding and even if you are IN the wedding, you cannot bring a date unless you are married or engaged. Thoughts? I’ve been with my boyfriend for 1.5 years and he is not invited. I can definitely handle a wedding on my own but I think it’s a little interesting…
a 1.5 year relationship is quite serious and personally i would definitely think you should get to bring your boyfriend – especially since you’re a bridesmaid. as a bridemaid you’re asked to do a lot and contribute a lot of money and time and i would assume the bride knows how serious you and your boyfriend are! :/ just my personal opinion!
exactly! thanks for your support on this one. 🙂 most people i tell are appalled! also, everytime pictures of your wedding pop up i just love your dress and the bridesmaids’ dresses – they look so classy!
Tiffany this happened to me (see under comment number 20 above). She (the bride) ended our friendship of 10+ years, but I can’t say I’m sad that she did.
Yeah, I’d be pissed. Just because your long-term relationship isn’t BOUND BY AN INSTITUTION, it doesn’t get recognized? And you’re a BRIDESMAID? Boo, I say. Boo.
yeah, i agree, bridesmaids should be offered plus ones.
I’m planning a wedding right now and that topic has come up. I think a lot depends on the age of the bride/groom and guests. We’re both nearing 30 so most of our friends are either in a relationship, engaged or married. So for the ones that aren’t – we feel it only fair for them to bring a guest. NOW, had I been fresh out of college, say 5 years ago, oh no. Everyone would not have been getting a “plus one”.
My fiance and this quarrel about this quite often. I believe that if you are not in a relationship, then you should not be allowed to bring a plus one. In our circumstance.. my family is big. Lots of cousins. No one is dating seriously.. so it would be LOTS of plus ones.. people we don’t know. Cousins are not getting plus ones.
We are still up in the air on single friends. All but one will know other people at the wedding. Most of males that are single kind of want to go and meet someone.. so they wouldn’t want to have a date there.
It is definitely hard to reason plus ones .. especially when you don’t know them. We’d be paying over $100 bucks for someone we don’t know. It may sound stingy.. but we just can’t afford it.
We haven’t sent out invites yet.. so we will see what really happens…
This is such an interesting topic and is an on-going discussion with my fiance and I as we finalize our guest list. I believe that a plus one should be if they are in a serious relationship, or living together. If they are single and will know other people there then I think they should be invited solo. If they don’t know a single person than a guest is okay to invite. It gets to be out of hand and extremely expensive if you allow everyone to have a plus one.
I didn’t do a plus one for everyone. Most of the friends I invited knew one another and so they could hang out as a group. A lot of family flew in from out of town-and that gets expensive for their plus one. I “word of mouthed” that if they wanted to bring someone, we could totally make it work…but not a lot of people did.
My best friend is getting married in a few months and thus I’ve been thinking about this more and more.
I remember reading that technically if they were dating when you got engaged then they needed a plus one. However I think that if they don’t really know anyone then it would be nice for them to have a plus one and have someone to talk to.
We only invite couple, if a person was single we did not invite a plus one…We had a few requests after the fact, which was fine and we accommodated those people. But allowing every single person to bring a guest would have resulted in a lot more people and a lot more money! I also had a slight issue with complete strangers coming to our wedding when we had to cut people we knew and would have liked to be there.
Pro-plus one here!!! No one wants to attend a wedding solo. If a large group of single friends is invited then they would probably opt to go as a group rather than find dates, anyway. However, I think it’s polite to provide guests with that options. Also, the more the merrier!!! We had 630 guests at our wedding and those extra 30 were “plus ones”! I enjoyed meeting them and haviing them join the dance floor party!
Oh, this is such a hard subject for me. My husband and I took the position that you originally had, anyone in a quasi-serious relationship got to bring their significant other. However, if you were single and knew others at the wedding, we tried to seat you at a “singles” table, hoping everyone would have a good time! Well, a friend of mine from college started dating someone AFTER our invites went out. She was at our engagement party, my bridal shower, and everything else. She simply responded “no” on her response card. I was shocked, and found out through mutual friends she was insulted she never received a plus one. We spoke briefly after this, but she never qualified her decision or let me explain to her about budget, and how almost everyone else in our group of college friends was going solo as well. She subsequently defriended me on facebook and hasn’t spoken to me since that one brief conversation. Sad, but true. Footnote? Her and the boyfriend broke up a few months later.
When my husband and I got married we were paying for the whole thing so we were on a strict budget. I would have loved to let everyone come, but it also takes away the whole small wedding feel that we were going for. In the end we decided that if someone had been seeing the person for 6 months or more then they got a plus one. I’m sure it irritated some but it couldn’t be helped.
For our wedding we did +1 for people that were in a relationship, unless they didn’t know anyone at the wedding. I also didn’t want a bunch of people that didn’t know me, my husband or our families at the wedding. I don’t think that anyone was upset with our decision (well, at least they didn’t tell us!)
We only added +1 for those who we knew wouldn’t know anyone else or if we knew they were in a serious relationship. If they were in a serious relationship the invitation was addressed to both of them, not as and guest, I personally wasn’t a fan. We had no problems, and there may have been 1 person that asked if they could bring someone, and we had no problem adding them.
The kicker was this girl my husband is friends with (I can handle her in small doses) invited some guy to come hang out after dinner. He came into our very formal wedding in jeans and a long sleeve shirt. My bridesmaids went over to kick him out only to find out she invited him in to drink and hang out. Who does that, I was pissed.
We did end doing a plus one … much to my chagrin! There were a few people who brought dates … and then weren’t even DATING them the next month. In my opinion … that’s just RUDE … albeit maybe not their fault 🙂 ! Then again … those friends who have only ever dated …. they have probably never experienced the “budgeting” that has to do with a wedding. I totally understand the etiquette in making sure everyone feels comfortable .. and if budgeting isn’t an issue … then by all means … let everyone bring a fabulous someone. But if you must choose … then I say go with making sure the BRIDE and GROOM enjoy their day … including feeling comfortable with how their budget is being spent. I think that a wedding costs a lot of money … and in the end … it’s about the BRIDE and GROOM … and someday … each and every person IF they decide to get married …. can have that day that is dedicated to THEM.
I agree with you, we did the same at our wedding. I was afraid people would look at the +1 and just randomly bring someone that we didn’t know (hurts the budget!). We actually never wrote “and guest” on any invitation. We would write both names and make it a point to find out the names of the significant other if we didn’t know them. This way there would be no hard feelings that one person got an “and guest” invitation and another one didn’t. And I think that I was right with the reservations of the +1 because I had some couples who broke up before the wedding and they would call to see if they could still bring a friend.
I love this approach! I feel the same way. If they are in a serious relationship, I should know their name already. If I don’t, I’m not putting the name on their. If they insist on putting their partner’s name on the RSVP card, at that point I will not object.
In my opinion, everyone should be given the option of bringing a “plus one”. As a single girl I’ve always taken it as a very thoughtful gesture. I’ve been in so many weddings (7!) and I realize that they are expensive – I also understand why my friends wouldn’t want random (and possibly drama causing!) people at their wedding.
When I’m offered a “plus one” I always feel grateful that the bride and groom extended that invitation to me – but I would only bring someone I was dating and saw a future with to the wedding. I would never ever bring a random girl friend along or a guy I wasn’t really interested in dating just so I had someone to chat with. The problem is that not everyone thinks like that, which is why I think the debate occurs.
I will admit that I do feel offended and slightly hurt when I’m not offered a “plus one” – because the offer in itself is nice even though I’m not going to accept it – no matter how silly that might sound. I’ve seen girls who RSVP that they are bringing a guest and then they don’t show up with one – in my opinion that is the rudest thing ever!!!
if all guests thought like you do, i think way more people would be happy to extend plus one invitations to everyone. 🙂 you are a very thoughtful guest!
we’ve been struggling with that too but I’m pretty adamant that if you aren’t seriously dating someone, you don’t get a plus 1!