And now I have a post with a bit of a different spin for you. I’ve actually been meaning to do this post for a while now, but I’ve put it off for whatever reason.
This post is intended to let you know that Ryan and I are not perfect. We’re a happy couple for sure (I wouldn’t marry someone who makes me unhappy!), but please don’t think that we whistle while we do the dishes together and sing sweet love songs to each other while skipping to the gym holding hands every morning. (Well, sometimes we do sing while we do the dishes, but the songs we sing would likely embarrass the pants off Ryan, so I won’t share… 😉 )
Please know that we’re a real couple. I blog about our life together, our shared and somewhat creepy love for Sadie, our random musings, date nights and our fun adventures together which are 100 percent factual, but amidst all of the fun and good times we’re bound to have disagreements.
I’m bound to get a little bitchy at times, just like he’s bound to act like a “poot.” (“Poot” is a word we snagged from the comedian Ron White. We use it to describe someone who’s being a real pain in the hiney.)
I felt the need to share this with you guys because I don’t want you to think that any relationship is perfect, let alone mine. I will say that my relationship is perfect for me and I truly believe with my whole heart that Ryan is the perfect guy for me, but I don’t want to paint a picture of this surreal couple when we’re really, really normal!
I try to keep my blog (and my life!) a very positive place. I don’t blog about how annoyed I was that Ryan left dishes in the dishwasher one night and I don’t blog about how I was being a total pain in the ass one day. It’s not something I want to dwell on (being happy is way more fun) and, truth be told, our disagreements would probably bore the heck out of you. Plus, they pass pretty quickly because we’re total sticklers for communication (your partner can’t fix the problem if they don’t know what’s wrong, after all!).
I’m not sure why I felt the need to share this other than the fact that I don’t want any of you over-examining your relationships if you’re truly happy because you see my relationship with Ryan on this blog and think that everywhere we walk flowers bloom and sun dances off our skin (like Edward Cullen). That being said, if you’re genuinely unhappy in your relationship, please know that there is someone out there who can make you feel incredibly loved and special. They just may forget to do the dishes from time to time. 😀
Question of the Afternoon
What is the silliest thing you’ve ever fought about with a significant other?
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We really think alike! I’ve been thinking about posting something like this for a while, too. I always try to keep things positive, and will write about most of the positive things that Jay and I do together. But that’s not to say that my readers will know about the argument we got into one night, or an evening where I was being a total PITA. 😉
Great post…as usual! 😀
Funny that you said that, because I was actually thinking of doing a post on the same thing! I don’t want people to think my life is all fresh flowers and sweet nothings, because it’s not! Ryan and I are definitely human and have our moments, just like everyone else! (And so does the pup, Happy, ha!)
Great post! So often, our blogs reflect our happy moments and I’m totally fine with that. I wrote a post last night about how crappy my day was. Then I deleted it instead of hitting publish. I hate being a Debbie Downer – it puts me further into a funk.
As far as relationships go, you are right on the money. No relationship is perfect, but it should make you happy. I find it funny that he doesn’t unload the dishwasher, because my Fiance thinks the dishwasher is called the washing machine. Which tells you a lot about how much he uses it 🙂
hahaha that’s awesome!
Our last “fight” was who won a Disney Monopoly tournament! He had some crazy idea i was going bankrupt..when we all know i just needed a snack break. I mean, duh! 🙂
I really like this post. Honestly, I’m one of those who reads your blog and has had moments of jealousy of your “perfect” relationship and it’s nice to know that you’re normal like everyone else 🙂 I’m in a great relationship, too, but there are certainly days where we annoy each other, so knowing even the most seemingly perfect relationships have those days too makes me feel so much better. Oh, and I LOVE your blog! Congrats on your 7 yr dating-iversary and your wonderful relationship.
Oh my gosh – this has to be the silliest arguement of all time. It was a few days before Christmas this past year and I was STRESSED beyond stressed in the kitchen. I was playing Christmas music from our surround sound and baking. The house was a disaster and my baking wasn’t going well. Tyler (my absolutely incredible boyfriend) was sitting in the living room playing video games – which he does from time to time. He had just started playing so he was trying to get the surround sound to play Christmas music and his headset to play the horrendous sounds of him shooting people up in Call of Duty. They both ended up coming through the speakers at the same time and it must have been the straw that broke the camel’s back because that’s when I yelled from the kitchen … WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?! YOU’RE KILLING CHRISTMAS! bahahaha
AHHH! this made me laugh out loud at my desk!!!!!!! so funny!!!
Right!? The fight has been dubbed “The Great Christmas Fight of 2010” and the quote is now used on a weekly basis … hysterical lol!
I recently faught with my Manfriend because he grew the UGLIEST mustache and would not shave it for soooo long. It was funny in the beginning but then it literally grossed me out. We totally got into a fight about it….haha. In the end, he shaved 😉 Win! hahaha
That’s one of the reasons I like your blog. You’re pretty honest about who you and Ryan are.
Once hubby and I fought cause he wouldn’t taste a candy I’d made. I was entering a candy competition and I wanted to see which one he thought was a winner. He didn’t like the idea of a chocolate covered fig and refused. We have since tried to compromise about the tasting of food.
SkinnyRunner posted a great post a few days ago about how blogs can often be like reality tv and readers get this glamorized perception of your life. Everyone argues, everyone has bad days. We can’t come to conclusions about people and their blogs based on these limited perceptions. Great post from you (as well as SR)!
Great post! The honesty is super refreshing. I
Great post, Julie! I find the same to be true in real life, as well. I don’t want to focus on or rehash all of the minor problems/issues that arise in life and marriage, but at the same time, I don’t want to propagate the notion that marriage (or even life) is always fun and easy, and if yours isn’t, something must be wrong. Relationships require work and sacrifice, but there’s also plenty of fun!
couldn’t agree with you more 🙂 I’m marrying my “perfect-for-me” guy this May! some of our silly disputes are also about the dishes, laundry — general household chores!
PS – have been reading your blog since last year but recently saw you in the “Angelos”! too cool!
oh my gosh, really!? i want to see it! i emailed w/ the editor of that mag a while ago, but never saw the final article. i hope mine comes in the mail, soon. (oh & woohoo for another KD!)
yes! you should email to start getting the Angelos! and maybe ask that they said you the past one 😉 I just got it this past week. kappadelta @ kappadelta. org
so funnn!! can’t wait to get my copy!
I love this post. I think all relationships are different. They all have their ups and downs. No one is perfect but I agree with what you said, that your relationship is perfect for the two of you and you are perfect for each other. That is how I feel about mine too. 🙂
We had a stupid fight about how my boyfriend will always put his feet on our coffee table while watching tv! That annoys me so much. I’m afraid our table is going to crack in half one day! It is not a foot rest! So needless to say I got a little angry 🙂 He doesn’t do it as often now. So I guess I won the argument 🙂 Haha.
Love this post!! Thinks it pretty much sums up that no relationship is perfect but it really is about being happy with one another!! The silliest thing I’ve ever ‘fought’ bout with my bf is who is going to hug who LOL!
HA! Love this. Though, I’m totally picturing you two skipping and singing while holding hands on the way to the gym. Awesome. =)
Our friends think we have the perfect relationship too, and yet, I still snap at my husband at times, and it takes him 2 weeks to do things that I ask him to do somtimes. I feel like we have our “public” view and our “behind the scenes” view…and the BTS view stays behind closed doors…no need to air it for the public to judge.
What a fantastic post! I LOVED how you stressed that your and Ryan’s relationship is perfect “for you” and that communication is key. It’s so true!
I recently got engaged (NYE ’10) to my boyfriend of 3 years and 99% of our silly arguments are because we assumed something incorrectly. Our annoyance quickly dissipates once we each explain our feelings/thoughts at the time. At the same time, I doubt I’d ever find someone who laughs at my stupid made up rap songs before joining in the fun like Adam does.
Our relationship? Is perfect. For us. And everyone deserves to find that happiness!!
Please forgive me for the belated anniversary congrats!
I love your positive attitude!
Me and my husband’s worst fight ever was over parking when we lived in DC. Isn’t that so trivial? We laugh about it now!
Wow, Julie… that post couldn’t have come at a better time. Are you spying on my life? 🙂
I’ve been struggling with keeping my blog a happy place while going through a breakup after two years… it’s hard to not even touch on something that is SUCH a consuming part of my life right now.
It made me feel better to read this, and I’m going to continue to do the same as you… keep my blog a happy place.
(..cause who wants to read about the rough stuff, anyway?)
Thanks for this post! Sometimes I do find myself comparing my relationship to those I see on blogs and I forget that even bloggers have bad days too! You do a great job keeping your blog an uplifting, positive place that always snaps me out of a funk (I’m sure those pictures of Sadie help a little too :))
love the honesty!
me and the BF just recently got in a little argument about how loud and hard he was laughing. Seriously! I was so mad.. I was also sleeping.. and woke up mad!! Soo silly!!
I feel sometimes pressured to maintain a positive disposition on my blog. I definitely do not want to use my blog as a venting place because people read blogs to ESCAPE from the crap of the world. I admire how you are always positive!
Thanks for sharing in this post! I definitely used to look at couples back in high school and think how perfect they looked. Once my boyfriend and I started dating and I started getting the “You guys are soo perfect” comments too, I realized how different things look on the surface! Unless it’s with close friends, I usually tell the adorable things my boyfriend does, not the fact that I end up doing his laundry AND putting it away because the build up annoys me so much!! Our fights are usually little spats because we live together and are such different people. I love him though! 🙂
Y’all are precious! I think communication is SO important and I contribute my fantastic relationship with Hubbs to the fact that we talk about everything… I’m not very good at keeping things bottled up inside and it works for us 🙂
Granted my silliest arguement was with a now EX boyfriend but we actually got into a HUGE fight on how to properly make brownies from a box mix. We also fought about how to boil water and cook noodles at one point in our relationship, too…needless to say it didn’t work out 😛
My current boyfriend and I are more bicker-ers with little stuff but just recently we got into a fight because I didn’t tell our dog, Jack, to sit fast enough for his liking despite it was me holding the leash. I almost strangled him and I think he was close to strangling me but we both calmed down and got over it quickly 😛 Looking back it was probably one of the dummest things we’ve gotten upset about with each other 😛
Sara
im so happy you did this post!! although i cannot relate.. im a little young for serious relationships!!.. i am sohappy you did post this because it seems you and ryan ARE perfect… !! thank you though for being so honest and open!
I got really upset with james when he ate my pumpkin shaped reeses..they have the best chocolate to peanut butter ratio fyi. I had been saving it and then I caught him eating it!!! not cool. he knows better than to come between me and my peanut butter. 🙂
I LOVE that you posted this!! I sometimes feel that blogger’s personal relationships are perfect and fairy-tale like all the time, because no-one ever posts about their little issues! But its good to know that you guys are human too! 😛
While we’re usually pretty good about perspective, my partner and I have had a few squabbles recently over his pee jar habit. At night, he goes to the bathroom in a jar rather then go outside (we’re not toilet flushers – eco-overload). I have no problem with this. However, when said jar sits in our room for five days without being emptied, I get a little irked 🙂
Oh goodness…we have fought about all sorts of silly things. I think the worst was when I was pregnant and craved McDonalds. He told me that he knew I would prefer eating something different and I got SO mad and said he was trying to make me feel guilty. I remember feeling especially ridiculous over that one. LOL
And I think this was a great post to share.
i feel like the same thing happened to me! i told ryan “don’t let me eat dessert” one night on a cruise we were on b/c i ate so much that i literally felt sick and disgusting earlier that day. when it came time for dessert, ryan was like “you may not want to get that tonight. remember how you felt?” and i got PISSED! we’re complicated creatures, huh?
My boyfriend and I did that too! Once I told him, “don’t let me have any more candy tonight or I’ll be sick” of course when I reached for the bag, he said something, and we had a huge argument…but I probably would have gotten mad if he DIDN’T say anything either…so weird!
And THANK YOU for this post, as a reader, its hard not to compare my life to bloggers sometimes. It means a lot that you were willing to be open!
This is so good that you shared this. I can see from other people’s blogs how they reference yours and Ryan’s relationshap as idyllic and while it does seem wonderful, it’s important to let the world know you have the same problems as every one else.
I get upset about super silly stuff..like not shutting the tupper container completely on cookies so they become stale. Actually this seems like a perfectly sound complaint!
Julie,
I think you and Ryan make an awesome team! You show how much fun marriage is. It’s awesome being married to your best friend isn’t it?? 🙂
ohhhh boy- My husband and I hardly ever fight, usually just stupid bickering that lasts five minutes. BUT this one time, I was baking a strawberry cake for my mom’s b-day. It was two layers andddd I didn’t let the cake cool before I iced it…you can see where this is going.
The top cake slid off and fell apart…my husband was watching the whole thing and LAUGHED. At that moment, I had a complete out-of-body experience. I yelled at him to stop laughing, picked up the entire cake and went pyscho – mushing, squishing, and tearing the whole thing apart until it was a pile of strawberry disaster.
NO more two layer cake attempts at our house- but no more laughing from the hubby at my cooking either!! 🙂
Our “disagreements” are usually silly – though due to his work travel (about 80% of the time) we have some hard days…but I, too, try to keep it off the blog.
Some silly disagreements: whether or not he ate the fruit I packed him for lunch….and the latest and greatest that usually happens once a month – how to load the dishwasher. There is a right way!!! hahaha.
Ha, that’s easy. My blog! It was a real balance finding what amount of time was appropriate for me to be blogging when I first started. I got upset and it was totally silly! He is my husband and he deserves not only my full attention, but also the biggest portion of my time.
Thanks for sharing about this on your blog. It was very well put and I agree entirely with keeping your blog a positive place. I think we all understand that your relationship isn’t perfect as no one’s is. But that doesn’t mean you guys still aren’t stinking cute, because you are!
Someone asked me the other day what “drugs” my fiance and I do b/c it’s not possible to always be so happy. I’m serious!! (side not: I obviously don’t do drugs…I couldn’t believe it!) This post really hits home for me. Life isn’t perfect…relationships, especially, aren’t perfect. But I do believe that being happy and positive is the best way to live. Of course, I have bad days, my fiance and I don’t always agree, but I think it’s best to realize that there’s no point dwelling on the small things– I AM actually happy and positive most of the day, so I’m kinda happy that’s how it comes across (no matter how stupid her comment to me was!!) 😉
Silliest thing we’ve fought about? The lyrics to a song (I’m seriously horrible at remembering lyrics and I was tired of him always being right. I tried sooo hard to convince him I was right, until he pulled out his phone and google..LOL!) We still laugh about it every time we hear that song on the radio!! 😀
Fab post! I feel the exact same way about my and my husband’s relationship–everyone see that awesomeness about our relationship and how much we love each other (which is very, very true), but we also disagree.
The silliest thing we’ve ever disagreed about was which bread to buy at the store. I got all huffy and upset and he was sold on a certain kind I didn’t like. SO dumb! But we have since moved on and have a great relationship with each other and are super happy!! I am glad you both are happy as well (and normal too!) I could totally relate to this entire post- thank you 🙂
Oh my, my husband and I can find ourselves bickering about the most random unimportant things. We usually call eachother out on it and just end up laughing at how weird we are being bickering over something that we both don’t care about!
Such a great post. I think this is so important to remember. Obviously in blogging, we try to share our positive moments, not our negatives. But of course, everyone has them. I think it is great the you recognized that your relationship (while it is great), definitely has it’s not-so-perfect moments. 🙂 I think some people think that there is such thing, when in my opinion, I don’t think a “perfect” relationship exists. I think you said it best, “perfect for you”.
Love this…and the big sister in me wants to give you a big hug for keeping it real. I think there’s a danger in people thinking that everything we do goes on our blogs, when really, it’s a synopsis of the good *and* the bad.
Hi Julie!
This was a really great post, and I totally understand about keeping the complaints out of your blog. Who wants to hear about little silly fights? Everyone has them. I would probably only bring it up if it was funny, cause yeah, no one likes a Debbie Downer 🙂
I don’t know about THE silliest thing my boyfriend and I have fought about, but yesterday we fought about him leaving A SPOON in the sink. So. Dumb. It’s funny the little things that get under your skin, especially when you live with someone!
i’m so glad you posted this, julie! i’m sure it means a lot to some of your other readers, too. although, i don’t really envy your relationship with ryan [even though i’m sure he’s AWESOME] – but sometimes reading your blog makes me miss orlando and my old life SO MUCH. reading this is a happy reminder that not being in orlando right now is what’s right for me. so thanks. 🙂
It’s great to hear that you and Ryan are a living breathing couple that argues from time to time like the rest of us! Sometimes I feel like my boyfriend and I are that couple that always seems happy, and I’ve even had people ask “do you ever fight?” I think the key to maintaining a positive relationship is openly communicating about issues that matter and being open to compromise. As for the random little stuff, sure I get frustrated when he leaves a wet towel on the floor after showering, and he gets frustrated when I rush him awake at 9:00 on a Saturday morning! But we recognize that those little things don’t really matter in the big scheme of things, so we don’t dwell on them.
We often make jokes out of the little things that bother us about one another. Last weekend actually we were out at a friend’s house, and by the end of the night we both had a little bit too much to drink. So he was kind enough to persuade me to get up off the couch and onto the air mattress we brought (not an easy task!), and then I proceeded to curl up in a little ball. That would have been fine if we were able to spoon like that, but every time he tried, I would turn around to face him – still curled up in a little ball! It made sleeping that night rather problematic for him, but then the next morning we laughed about how sharing a bed with me after I’ve been drinking is like sharing a bed with a sea urchin! I then gave him a hard time for wanting to sleep until noon when I was awake at 9:00. By that time, we were laughing hysterically at how trivial and silly the whole situation was. It all evens out! =)
I’m so glad you shed light on this, Julie! It’s important to showcase that nobody is perfect… we’re all human and have our faults/spats. I’d actually say a realtionship that didn’t have any fighting might be even unhealthy? I would see this as one of the partners keeping something inside/building up resentment…. Anywho, I am a firm believer in “communication is key!”
Thank you for being honest and sharing this! I think it’s obvious you two are such a great couple but it would seem unreal if it was always only smiles! I agree about finding the perfect person for yourself, and how important communication is!
One of the silliest things I have ever fought about with my boyfriend at the time was about toothpaste. I had had a really rough day at work and that night he went to use my toothpaste (the same kind I always buy because my Mom was allergic to spearmint growing up) so we always got cinnamon flavored Close-Up. A lot of people don’t like the cinnamon. He had had a bad day at work too and when he started to brush his teeth he immediately grunted and said how much he hated this toothpaste. I took it SO personally. You’d think he said he hated my face I got so upset. We fought for a few minutes before we both started laughing because we were fighting over toothpaste. Then I pulled out my travel tube of colgate for him and it was all better 🙂
My fight wasn’t really a fight, but it’s worth a giggle maybe: While on hormones for fertility treatment recently, I looked at my husband asked that he leave our hotel room because his mere presence was bothering me. (I may not have said it so nicely.) After a few seconds, we both just started to laugh at how INSANE I sounded. It was really nice that we could both see the silliness in that and not allow it to turn into a major argument. *I also have to remind people that my marriage isn’t perfect (I think it seems that way), but we’re perfect for each other. Turthfully, no one else would be able to handle either of us. ;)*
Haha, you make me laugh.
Honestly, I could not even tell you what our biggest fights have been about. They usually start over something small and silly and escalate because we both happen to be in a bad mood or because one of us is secretly mad about something else, which goes to the point you make about communication. It’s sooo true! It’s like that saying “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar.” It’s so much better if I tell Ryan (my guy is a Ryan too) what is bothering me right away in a normal big girl voice, than if I hold it in and end up flipping out and verbally karate chopping his ass.
love this! thanks for your honesty. 🙂 i believe communication is key too!
Julie, I only discovered your blog a few months ago, but I find I can totally relate to you. I do think you make an important point though — it’s easy for outsiders reading your or any blog to have misconceptions that the person’s life is perfectly wonderful in every way because they eat right, go to the gym every day, and have a caring significant other. It’s only natural that bloggers would write about the good in their lives — as you point out, why would you want to dwell on the dumb annoyances of the day? Life is way more fun when you focus on the good. Thanks for this post though — it’s an important reminder for anyone who reads blogs that no one’s life is perfect! 🙂
I think the stupidest thing we’ve ever fought about is whether or not I would come over. Dumb!
OMG. My husband and I use “poot” all the time. Like, “stop being a pooty pants.” I had no idea it came from somewhere. LOL
LOVE this post! My boyfriend and I really only fight over little things that mean nothing. Then we both realize after an hour of pouting in separate rooms and avoiding eye contact at all times no matter the circumstances that its not worth it, and then usually end up having a dance party on the couch shortly after. I realized young that being a gigantic hag your whole life over trivial things is a waste of time, and time that could be spent doing something positive with someone who shares that belief as well!