Before I gave birth to Chase, I considered myself a fairly good sleeper. I didn’t really have any sleep issues and for the most part went to bed at a decent time, fell asleep with relative ease and didn’t have any long durations of time I spent awake in the middle of the night.
Fast forward to the end of last summer when I became a mom and my sleep habits changed dramatically. I’ve been pretty candid on this blog when it comes to sharing my sleep struggles after the birth of our baby boy. The four-month sleep regression hit us hard and for a while there (even though I honestly didn’t feel like we had much good sleep to regress from at that point…) and I often found myself dreading bed time because I knew long nights awaited me almost every single night. For a solid six months, I was typically up three times a night to nurse and soothe Chase and even though our experience with sleep training last month has definitely changed things for the better, I am still struggling to sleep well.
Chase is doing much better and while he will still wake up in the middle of the night from time to time, I am waking up in the middle of the night much more often than my almost eight month old baby boy. I think this seems to go with the territory of being a mom, but I have noticed that there are a few things I can do that make falling back asleep in the middle of the night a little easier and today I am teaming up with Sleep Number® to share them with you. Since 54 percent of Americans do not feel like they are getting enough quality sleep (according to a recent Sleep Number survey), I hope some of these simple tips will resonate with a few of you guys out there who may be in a similar boat!
Reestablishing Good Sleep Habits (Falling Back Asleep After Waking Up In The Middle Of The Night)
- Do NOT Touch My Phone
This is KEY for me. Looking at my phone is a surefire way to stimulate my brain and keep me up WAY longer than I need to be, especially in the middle of the night. I keep my phone out of reach from my bedside and this is crucial because it is so tempting to grab it to check emails at 3 a.m. when my mind is racing a mile a minute.
- Read Self-Help or Parenting Books
If I really cannot turn my mind off, I’ve found that reading a book will often make my eyes feel heavy. I try to steer clear of gripping or suspenseful novels and stick to self-help or parenting books for my middle-of-the-night reading streaks. (I’m pretty sure I read most of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child at 2 a.m.) They’re less intense and I’m more likely to get tired reading an informative book than I am a novel that’s a serious page-turner.
- Make a To Do List
This tip might seem a little crazy, but I often find myself running thought a list of things I need to do when I am awake in the middle of the night. Thinking about everything I need to accomplish the following day can stress me out and make me feel even more awake, so I’ve started keeping a small notepad and a pen next to my bed so I can write down my to do list right then and there. Something about creating a list makes me feel like I have a better grasp on the day ahead and rather than telling myself not to forget to do x, y and z in my head the next day, I write it down which seems to help me relax a bit since I know I won’t forget about important tasks that pop in my head in the middle of the night.
- Go To Bed Earlier
This one seems a little obvious, but something about going to bed earlier makes me feel less stressed when I find myself up in the middle of the night. I tend to count how many hours of sleep I have under my belt when I wake up in the middle of the night and then do that horrible thing I know so many of us do when we calculate how many hours we’ll get in total if we fall asleep immediately which seems to create a vicious cycle of sleep-related stress. When I can “front load” my sleep, I tend to feel better about the number of hours of sleep I will get each night, which for some crazy reason seems to make it easier for me to go back to sleep when I wake up for no reason.
Watching TV or using computers and phones before bed stimulates the brain and the blue light from screens can make it harder to get quality sleep. Though it can be hard on nights when I find myself working from the computer after dinner, for the most part I try to take Sleep Number’s advice and stay away from electronics and television an hour before bed. Reading is my favorite way to wind down.
- Focus on Relaxing My Body
This is a tip that I first learned from Ryan and initially used to try to help myself fall asleep at the beginning of the night but it will often work to help me return to sleep when I am wide awake in the middle of the night, too. I focus on relaxing my entire body, beginning at the very tips of my toes and working my way up to the top of my head. I concentrate on releasing tension from everywhere… My ankles, knees, hips, chest, fingers…Focusing on relaxing my body feels almost a meditative and can often help calm my restlessness.
- Exercise
Exercising regularly is so important for my personal sleep. I feel like I can truly tell a difference in the way that I sleep on days when I do workout versus days when I don’t. After a day that includes a good sweat session, I typically feel more peaceful at night and not nearly as restless. I try to do something active every day, whether it be a boot camp class, an at home circuit workout or a long walk around the neighborhood with my family. Exercise, a healthy diet and quality sleep are all incredibly important when it comes to living a healthy lifestyle.
- Avoid Caffeine After 11 a.m.
Coffee quickly became a staple in my morning routine after Chase was born. I look forward to a cup (or two) of coffee every day but space them out and avoid caffeine after 11 a.m. I find that drinking coffee or any caffeinated beverage too late in the day negatively affects my sleep at night, so I try to steer clear after 11 a.m.
Questions of the Day
- Do you struggle with sleep at night? Is there anything you personally do to help yourself fall back asleep when you wake up in the middle of the night?
- How many hours of sleep do you feel like you need a night to feel your best?
I never used to struggle much with sleep before I became pregnant and then I was quite restless, especially in my third trimester. Then, after Chase was born, my sleep definitely changed for the worse.
To feel my best, I feel like I need at least seven hours of sleep, but eight is ideal!
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Disclaimer: This blog post is sponsored by Sleep Number and I truly appreciate your support. Thank you!!
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I have struggled with sleep since I was a kid, and although I have to admit I still rely on melatonin (perhaps too much) what has somewhat helped me is – no phone OR electronics a half hour before bed, cutting out caffeine pretty much after 9am, exercising in the mornings, and a fairly consistent bedtime and waketime (maybe one hour later on weekends than weekdays). I haven’t quite figured out what to do when I wake at 3am and cannot get back to sleep until it’s 6 and time to get up. Sometimes the to-do list helps shut off my mind, but other times no matter what, there’s no going back!
I have struggled with sleep since my daughter was born 3.5 months ago. Although I did get up quite a few times during my 3rd trimester I didn’t feel totally exhausted like I do now. I get up around 3 times a night to feed her. Sometimes I go to bed at 7 (when we put her down) knowing that she sleeps her longest stretch then. I also find myself waking up every three hours even if she goes for four and I end up laying there listening to her every noise. I feel like 6-7 hours works for me but lately I have been getting around 4. Going to bed early is the only way I can get my sleep in.
As a side, I am so grateful you are so candid about sleep because it makes me feel better about my current situation and hopeful about the future.
I am the SAME way. Going to bed early is truthfully the only way I was able to function for the first 6 months of Chase’s life. I would honestly be in bed at 7:30 p.m. some nights when I was so tired!
Oh man, my sleep situation has been SO DIFFERENT since I had a baby! I used to bed dead to the world, but now I spend the whole night tossing and turning! My issue is that I don’t fully wake up in the middle of the night – but my sleep tracker tells me that I basically spend almost the entire night in a light sleep stage, and get MAYBE 20 minutes of deep sleep all night! No wonder I’m so tired when I get up in the morning!
Sadly, I have no yet figured out a way to remedy this problem.
I am the worst about waking up at 3 a.m. with a racing mind. Similar to your body visualization trick, I practice yoga in my head when I’m super wound up. I’ll imagine all of the movements and breaths in a flow and it usually helps me wind down and fall back asleep!
Ryan actually learned the “relax your body” trick in a yoga class in college! It really does help!
When I go to bed with my mind still racing I usually take melatonin (trying hard not to). However, if I wake in the middle of the night I do this breathing exercise which is suppose to help with anxiety. Breath in for four count, hold for three and let out for 7.
Holy moly, just reading this post gave me anxiety! I don’t have a baby yet, but I am a big time sleeper and I get hit with a lot of the same issues if I happen to wake up in the middle of the night. Running through what I will have to get done in the day ahead and calculating how many hours of sleep I am scheduled to get make my heart/mind race and it made me giggle and feel some relief to know I am not the only one with these silly thoughts! Getting in to bed early seems to help a lot though, as does avoiding blue light.
With a five month old I DEFINITELY feel the effects of loss sleep. I used to be a great sleeper, but, like you, it hasn’t been the same since my third trimester.
My new favorite thing to do is drink a cup of chamomile tea or golden milk (turmeric steeped with other spices in rice or coconut milk). They both have a way of calming me before bed. Staying off my phone helps too,but I’m not very good at that. :/
Previously, I had trouble falling asleep, but for the past few years that has not been my problem. It has been waking in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep, mostly due to thinking about work. Like you, taking the time to write it down helps calm my mind. I also find turning on the tv to an old dvd of a sitcom and wearing an eye mask so I don’t see the light but just hear the tv helps to distract my mind.
Just a question, do you have a sleep number bed? We are in need of a new bed and have looked into them, but have not decided yet.
Hope you hear back soon, Pamela. 🙂 Let us know if we can answer any questions for you in the meantime!
I agree with all of these tips, especially about putting the phone down. I’m trying to be more conscious of this but I still do it on occasion and soon 2 minutes turns into 20. I wear my Fitbit Charge HR every day/night and I love the sleep tracker. I usually get about 7 hours each night. It’s so interesting to see the data about when I’m restless or awake even when I don’t remember being awake during the night.
I became a much worse sleeper after having two babies in the past four years. Pregnancy hormones and then post-birth hormones, plus babies and toddlers waking me up…..definitely has been rough. The thing that has helped me the most is to not have a clock I can see in the middle of the night. I do the same thing you do….count in my head how many hours of sleep I’ve gotten, stress that I won’t get any more and will be a wreck the next day. I find that if I don’t see a clock and don’t know what time it is, I’m able to shut this off. Might be worth giving a try!
Sleep used to be my favorite thing but, like you, I find myself doing all of those things. I find looking at the clock is the worst for me, but I still do it (more of a, is she really hungry or just needs soothed thing). I wake up at all sounds, or I envision them in my head, lol. In fact, the other night Annabelle didn’t wake until 4:30 but I was up from 1-2 for no reason. It was terrible! Do you turn on the light when you read or write your to do list? Does it wake up Ryan?
I have a friend who had great difficulty staying asleep. Her pre-sleep habits were great–she never had caffeine, exercised daily, got plenty of sleep (She would be in bed from 9:30 pm-6, 6:30am) and would read before bed. However, she would wake up pretty much nightly around the late am hours (2, 3, 4) & just lie awake. Melatonin worked a bit, but finally she decided to see a sleep specialist & after she kept a sleep journal, the specialist shared with her that she actually spent TOO MUCH time in bed!! Reading was great, but she was spending too much time in bed not sleeping; it confused her body of when exactly it was time to sleep. She ended up bumping her bed time to 10:30 & would just make sure that she wasn’t actually laying in bed & just did quiet activities–coloring, doing a puzzle, etc. She’s not a mama & nor am I, so your situation might be completely different, but I was just so intrigued by the fact that a sleep specialist could figure that all out!
I find when I am really restless and it is 9pm I start lavender oil in my diffuser in the bedroom and then when I crawl into bed around 9:30 the lavender helps me relax and calm down. I have a fitbit and looking at the sleep tracker has been so interesting over the last 2 years. A night when I use the lavender oil I have noticed less restless moments than a night without it. I have totally written to do lists in the past isually on little post it notes next to my bed so I dont forget things. Definitely helps
I’ve struggled with “turning my brain off” at night, which prevents me from falling asleep. I will go over what happened during the day, or I will start to plan to next day. So, making a list or writing in my journal has helped me A LOT in this area!
I am a HORRIBLE sleeper. I fall asleep but don’t stay asleep and then I am up for about 2 hours in the night. Awful!
I found this breathing technique by Dr Andrew Weil that has helped me get back to sleep better than anything. You have to practice it a few times tho.
https://vimeo.com/105271298
Love to hear if anyone uses this and did it help?
I can relate but only because our little bean is still struggling to sleep! I’m also doing it as a singke parent 90% of the time so sleep is not a luxury i get at the moment!!!
Exercising is the best thing for my sleep. I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow!
Great post! My son started sleeping through the night at 7.5 months but I would still wake up many times. I was so frustrated and followed all your advice as well as saw a sleep specialist! The only thing that truly helped was weaning at 14 months when the hormones finally returned to normal. Now I am 8 months pregnant with #2 and I know its allll gonna start all over again!
I had a baby girl about 2 months after you so I get it!! Unfortunately, I find that I cannot have any coffee. Even decaf coffee affects nots only my sleep, but baby’s sleep as well. I only have coffee very occasionally now. Also, it helps me to take my fish oil supplement right before bed. It has a very calming effect on me & helps me relax enough to get to sleep. Another thing I find useful is taking an Epsom salt bath about 30 minutes before bed. I think the magnesium in it relaxes me as well. Baby sleeps better after my Epsom baths as well. My doc said it was safe while breastfeeding, but d check with your doc first!
I had the same thing happen after 13 months of night waking! I had some nights where I’d lay awake from midnight to morning, and by this point, I’m pretty sure I was getting delirious from the lack of solid sleep.
Weaning might have helped, and I also started taking magnesium supplements before bed. Sleep is much better these, days, even when there are random night-wakings, I am usually able to fall back asleep.
I love that you posted this. Sleep or lack thereof is driving me nuts lately. I have been getting to bed earlier & am limiting all of the above, caffeine, screen time, etc with little success. I have been tossing a turning relentlessly. I have tried the 4/7/8 counting method which I think stresses me out that I’m not counting properly. I’m still trying 🙂
Sleep is the greatest, and that stinks you haven’t been getting much :(. Hopefully this to shall pass and good sleep is on the horizon. I’m such a needy sleeper, and thankfully I rarely have problems sleeping, but when I do- it reminds me of how awesome anyone who does have chronic sleep problems, if they can deal with that and be normal humans, I can too.
I try to get eight hours every night to feel my best at work and in general, and much like you, I try to avoid caffeine after 12pm, I read at least 30 minutes before bed (on an iPad, but now the new iOS update has reduced blue light filters, which make me so happy!), exercise daily as much as possible, and avoid my phone all night. I also love white noise and have a ceiling fan and heavy-duty floor fan that keeps random noises from my cat and other people in my apartment building from waking me up.
Does anyone love leg day? lol.
I feel ya on the sleep. I have a 12 y/o who has slept like a rock since she was 4 months; a 24 month old boy who was/still is my problem sleeper; and a 4 month-old baby boy who is following in his sister’s (sleep) footprints.
My middle child was up every two hours to eat and then would want to play at 2 or 4 a.m. I was still breastfeeding him 3x a night until he was 7 months. I was working and remember counting my hours of sleep–4 hours . . . combined. I don’t recall a 4 month regression either–like you said, we didn’t have much to regress from. We were always trying to sleep train him. He did not sleep well until he could roll over in his crib. He finally slept well most nights when I was late in my pregnancy with #3. But holy crap, the 20-month sleep regression hit us hard!! It hit right before/during the arrival of baby #3.
I keep seeing something on facebook that states that “you know that mom who got her baby to sleep through the night, they just got lucky, some babies are just easier than others.” It makes me laugh, because I can totally relate; two of mine have been easy going and great sleepers, and there was some sleep training involved with them too. But nothing like my middle child. He’s go, go, go when he’s awake and he just does not want to stop to sleep. Its just who he is.
Before my 2 under 2 phase, I needed 8 hours to function. Now, I feel like a million bucks with 6 hours of uninterrupted (maybe a binkie replacement or two) sleep.
I struggle pretty badly with sleep (even though I don’t have children yet !), so this post spoke to me! Thanks for sharing 🙂
I am 33 pregnant right now so I have definitely been struggling with sleeping at night, but I struggle even when I’m not pregnant ha. I love these tips! The hardest thing for me is to shut down my mind.
33 weeks*
I had this same issue after my second child and ended up giving up coffee entirely because I couldn’t figure out the right amount to drink to avoid sleep issues.
I also now take a low dosage Melatonin before bed every night. AND – this one is key for me – do not look at the clock when I wake up at night If I do, I end up calculating how many more hours until my alarm and wondering if I’ll be able to fall back asleep quickly enough to make it worth it.
I have a five month old and I swear I am still catching up on sleep and am therefore alway groggy!
My baby is almost 6 months and for the last month I’ve had the hardest time falling asleep! It sometimes takes me 2-3 hours but is usually at least 1. It drives me nuts and my mind starts thinking about how I’m going to be up to feed her at 4 am and my sleep window is shrinking. I just downloaded a meditation app today and I plan to start doing some light yoga meditation and use some relaxing essential oils to see if that helps.
Great post, I like the no caffeine after 11 AM, I really think people can’t sleep at night because they drink so much caffeine during the day! Thanks for sharing xo C
This is a fitting post since I’ve had a run of sleepless nights lately! I’m a shift worker, and I take my sleep seriously as it’s easy to get into bad sleep habits. I work 2 days, then 2 nights – 12 hour shifts. I don’t skimp on my sleep. I try to get 7-8 hours a night, but usually after my last night shift I like to get up a little earlier in order to start transitioning to a regular bedtime that night – I still usually give myself at least 6 hours though. In saying that, sometimes my sleep pattern can still get messed up…hence the trouble I’ve had this week!
I only do one cup of coffee or tea at the start of my shift. On days off I rarely have either. I got into the habit of leaving my phone in the kitchen when I go to bed, and I keep it on silent. That way I can’t hear if a text comes in, and I’m not tempted to get up and check it if one does, and I’m not tempted to grab the phone to play with it if I’m struggling to sleep. Sometimes I rely on melatonin, but that can really be hit and miss for me. I always have to read a bit before bed, and I do get up to read sometimes if I’m having trouble sleeping. I like your suggestion that it be something that isn’t going to really excite you and wake you up more. I should learn to keep something a little less engaging next to my bed! Definitely a tip I’m going to try:) On my day shifts I’m in bed early so I can fit in that 7-8 hours of sleep. I’m usually in bed within 2 hours of getting home. That means coming home getting some supper ready, lunch ready for the next day, catching up with family on the phone, then it’s bedtime. I try and get out for a walk on my lunch break – it’s nice to get away from work for a bit, and I feel better knowing I’ve gotten in some physical activity without having to try and squeeze it in at the end of the day. I’ve never been able to focus on relaxing my body…it’s like meditation, I get distracted with thoughts. I’m not sure if there are any tricks to keep from getting distracted…maybe it just takes practice!
Hey Julie! I’ve suffered from sleep issues for years, and I actually just launched a YouTube channel that will be dedicated to recipes, tips and tricks for optimizing energy when you don’t get enough sleep. Here’s a link to my first video for my No Sleep Smoothie Bowl! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vrpRDzwhavA
My son is almost 12 weeks old so I can definitely relate when it comes to getting very little sleep! He used to wake up often due to his reflux issues- sometimes almost every hour! Those days were a complete nightmare for my husband and me. Nowadays he is sleeping much better since he is sleeping on a wedge bedding material that has reduced his reflux dramatically! I think your tips are awesome. I need to reduce the time I use my phone and electronics before bedtime since it’s the one thing that probably keeps me up a lot.
I recently started using an essential oil diffuser to help me sleep! My FAVORITE one to use for sleep is “Serenity” by doTERRA. I put a couple drops in the diffuser and rub a drop on the bottom of each foot. I definitely see a difference. And bonus- it smells great.
I definitely agree with you about consistent exercise and to-do lists helping with sleep! If I feel stressed, anxious or worried before bed, it really helps to write everything down. It cuts off all of those “I have to remember to…” thoughts I used to get throughout the night. And exercise helps to squash the anxiety, stress, etc., so I consider it preventative medicine : )
I’m lucky in that I’ve always been a decent sleeper without waking up in the middle of the night for any reason. ONE big helper is my bite splint I wear to help with teeth grinding. That thing changed my life!
I do have a history or walking and/or talking/screaming in my sleep! That’s a little off-putting when it happens, LOL. I do this thing where I yell with my mouth closed (try it, it’s weird) and will eventually wake myself up. My husband says I sound like a gorilla. ha ha It usually coincides with a dream I’m having where I’m trying to yell, but I can’t. It hasn’t happened to me in quite some time, but since I’m typing about it today, I hope it doesn’t happen soon!
Sleep after baby is difficult. Sleep after baby when you have a JOB TO GET TO at 8 am is even more difficult. The majority of women are strong, independent people who RETURN TO WORK after giving birth. They don’t have their mom playing nanny for months so that they can go to the gym and run errands. You have literally NOTHING TO WAKE UP FOR because YOU DON’T HAVE A REAL JOB. Don’t you dare complain about sleep troubles; you are an insult to working mothers around the world.
I am a horrible sleeper, but I use a lot of these tips (working on the phone one….) and find they help a lot. I also started taking a supplement of L-Theanine, which is a compound found in green tea that is supposed to be calming. It definitely makes my mind a little less race-y and makes it easier for me to fall asleep. And even when I don’t think it’s hugely impactful, if I stop taking it my sleep suffers hugely!
Have you tried sleeping with an extra blanket or just a heavier one on top of you? I have the same issues with staying asleep even though my 10 month old sleeps through the night almost every night. I tried folding a heavier blanket in half and just putting in on my side of the bed and it really seems to help. The pressure is calming to some people, but the amount of weight preferred varies from person to person. It is the same concept at the weighted vests that some children with behavioral disabilities wear to calm down. Usually now I only wake up when I hear a sound, when before, I was waking for no reason at all.
Oh man, thanks for sharing your experience and the tips! I have struggled since having my first in August. Its the worst lying there at 3 o’clock in the morning when your baby (and husband and dog for that matter) are snoozing away. One thing that helps me for some odd reason is to switch where I’m sleeping. I’ll go to the guest room, do some deep breathing/relaxation and then tend to fall asleep. Again thanks for sharing!
Try the lavender oil in your diffuser! I also add a couple drops of peppermint. Calming and relaxing for me!
I’ve heard great things about Sleep Number!
I think consistency is also key. If you have an odd sleeping pattern, then your body will start to follow a very irregular circadian rhythm and never know when it’s sleepy or energized!