My heart grew 10,000 times over when Ryder came into this world and we were blessed with a little boy who is love, kindness, creativity, focus, sensitivity, humor and cuddles wrapped up in a beautiful brown-eyed package.
Ryder hugs hard, loves even harder and makes our family so much better.
From the beginning, we could tell there was something different about Ryder and the way he’d stare up at us with the most intensely adoring eyes. As he entered toddlerhood and grew to be a “little big kid,” it became increasingly clear that Ryder is a child who feels things deeply. (You may read more about this here.) Ryder makes it so, so easy to love him so fully. His intense love for his brothers and our family is one of my absolute favorite things about him and I’ve always said that if Ryder chooses to share his life with a special someone, they are going to hit the jackpot because I fully believe he will love them with his whole heart. (As his mom, you better believe I’m already praying for this person to treat his precious heart with gentleness and care.)
Ryder is a child who covets cuddle time, loves holding hands and frequently says, “I love you, Mom” out of the blue. He is also the child who pours intensity and focus into his favorite things and will happily sit down and work on multiple puzzles in a row until he has created a completed puzzle train. He loves creating, building, imagining and dedicated time with those he loves most.
Some of Ryder’s favorite activities include soccer, melty beads/biggie beads, exploring outside, swimming, puzzles, Picasso Tiles, playing with cars and trains, coloring, riding his bike, painting, imagination games (especially “animal rescue” with Chase), catching and releasing various bugs and creatures, dancing, story time, taking pictures, helping me in the kitchen, bath time (especially popsicle baths or baths with bath bombs) and any kind of art project.
Ryder also loves time with his friends but still absolutely prefers our family over everyone. (Like last year, when I asked Ryder if he wanted a birthday party this year, he said, “YES!” and when I asked who he wanted to invite, his guest list looked like this: Mom, Dad, Chase, Ryder and Rhett.) Ryder loves playdates and playtime with friends but tends to run out of social steam after a while and will check in with me for a snack or he will seek out a quieter activity to play by himself or with one calmer friend. (I’ve noticed Ryder gravitating toward some of the other more introverted kids in our friend group and I think it’s the sweetest to watch them sit side-by-side, cuddle with Pepper, do a puzzle together or just quietly work on melty beads.) I’m honestly proud of him for self-regulating in this way and relate to this side of his personality. While I love time with my friends and being social, spending time alone or with family at home calms me and rejuvenates me, too.
Now that Ryder is a little older, something I greatly appreciate and admire about his personality is the fact that he seems to genuinely enjoy helping others. He doesn’t complain about clean up time, happily helps cut up fruits and veggies for lunches and dinners, thinks vacuuming is a game, volunteers to let Pepper out and is the first one to offer to show Rhett how to do something he might need help learning for the first time. I hope his love for helping and serving others continues because it’s been a joy to watch unfold.
Sibling Dynamics
We always tell Ryder his roll in our family is a special one because he’s the only kid who gets to be both a big brother and a little brother. Ryder often yells out “I’m the middle man!” and seems to love being sandwiched between his two best friends. There is no one Ryder would rather play with more than Chase and Rhett and I pray hard the relationship I see between our three boys right now continues to flourish into adulthood because it is the biggest gift.
Ryder has been Chase’s little shadow since he was born and while he continues to adore his older brother, he is also more likely to express his thoughts, feelings and preferences now that he’s a little older. While Chase certainly still calls the shots most of the time (big brother perks), Ryder will stand up for himself, share his own ideas and make his opinions known. That being said, one-on-one time with Chase is clearly very special to Ryder and he loves exploring, creating, imagining and playing with Chase for hours on end. The best part? This love is 100 percent reciprocated from Chase.
I’ve truly never once heard Chase or Ryder tell me they are bored and I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that they have one or two built-in best friends by their side most of the time.
The relationship between Rhett and Ryder has also improved dramatically — let’s just say a toddler and a baby can be a spiiiicy mix at times! — and I know a lot of the positive growth we’ve seen between Ryder and Rhett has to do with the fact that Rhett is getting bigger and becoming less likely to knock down towers, take beloved toys, etc. While the age differences between our boys currently means Chase and Ryder can play more easily together, Ryder and Rhett have their own special relationship and it’s been amazing to watch it grow and develop.
Rhett absolutely adores Ryder and Ryder covets his role as big brother, teacher and trusted friend to Rhett. Ryder majorly stepped up to help Rhett through potty training and is often the first person to offer Rhett a hug or some love if Rhett is upset. They love playing trains and cars together and having brother dance parties where they blast “It Might Get Loud” or “We Will Rock You” at top volume and dance their hearts out!
I’d also be remiss if I didn’t share that of course there are brother battles in our house every single day. Most of the discipline we dole out around here is related to escalating brother interactions and when the boys are off their game, this can be incredibly frustrating and draining. Thankfully, as the boys get older, this has become so much easier and less frequent. (To those with toddlers, there is hope!)
Speaking to the fights between Chase and Ryder in particular, our big kids are thankfully much better able to resolve conflicts themselves (or at least with less guidance than previously required). Fights between Rhett and Ryder still mostly center around toys or Rhett inserting himself into a game or play scenario where he might come in and change things or move them in a way Ryder does not want. These fights are often the most intense because emotions are high when you’re almost three-years-old and five-years-old but your communication skills are still very much developing.
Ryder and Pepper
After Sadie died, Ryan said, “Ryder needs another dog” and never did that become more clear than after we brought Pepper home and she became part of our family.
Pepper truly seeks Ryder out and seems to understand he’s a safe and gentle place for love, snuggles and endless puppy kisses. Ryder adores Pepper and is always the first to volunteer to take her out to go potty, give her a treat or scoop her up for couch cuddles. Ryder refuses to go to bed at night until after he gets goodnight kisses from Pepper and would happily have Pepper by his side 24/7 if possible. She’s truly more than just a dog to him and has captured his heart 10 times over.
Random Things to Remember
- Favorite Foods: Macaroni and cheese, bell peppers, oranges, apples, pizza, hummus, Nature’s Bakery banana chocolate chip bars, raisins, strawberries, peaches, Snack Mates turkey sticks, waffles, popsicles
- Favorite Color: Red
- Favorite Book: Anything Elephant & Piggie (he thinks they’re hilarious), The Circus Ship, Magic Tree House series
- Favorite Stuffed Animals: Rudolph, Clarice, Kopa
- Favorite Song: “It Might Get Loud,” “I Believe That We Will Win,” “Waka Waka”
- Favorite Show: Octonauts and Spidey and His Amazing Friends
- Favorite Animal: Pepper x 1,000! He also loves reindeer, peregrine falcons, marine animals and lizards
- Wake Up Time/Bed Time: Bedtime is right around 7:30 p.m. and Ryder and Chase share a room and are typically up by 6:30 a.m.
Likes
- His brothers
- Playtime outside
- Swimming
- Soccer
- Coloring, painting and crafty activities
- Playing with trains and cars
- Cuddling and hugs
- Building with Picasso Tiles
- Imagination games
- Park playtime
- Puppet shows
- Making forts
- Fishing and catching and releasing various creatures
- MyGym and Urban Air Trampoline Park
Dislikes
- When his brothers push his buttons
- Going to bed when he’d rather be playing
Five-Year-Old Favorites
- NightHawk Ride-On (This was Ryder’s big birthday gift this year and to say it’s been a hit is a huge understatement. He is OBSESSED with this thing!)
- Kid Kayak (Easy for kids to use and so wonderful for lake exploration.)
- Puzzles (100-300 piece puzzles are his fav right now)
- Picasso Tiles (Forever and always a fav and my #1 toy recommendation because they’ve been a hit for YEARS.)
- Melty Beads/Biggie Beads
- Kid-Friendly Digital Camera (Another birthday gift this year that Ryder is loving!)
- Costumes
- Bike (His current bike is a hand-me-down from Chase and has held up great!)
- Bug Cages, Nets and this Catch-and-Release Aquarium
- Art Supplies: Kwik Stix Quick-Dry Paint Pens, Pip Squeaks Marker Tower, Crayola Retractable Markers
- Glider Airplanes
- Legos
- Plasma Car
- Crayola Window Crayons
- Cars and Trucks
- Tonies (His favorite Tonies are the Paw Patrol characters, Super Wings, Octonauts and Wild Kratts)
- Power Wheels Jeep
- Water WOW! Activity Pads
- Trains + Train Table (Another thing we’ve had for years that the boys still love.)
- Children’s Knives (Perfect for slicing soft fruits and veggies.)
- Surprise Inside Bath Bombs
Past Ryder Updates
- 4 Year Old Update
- 3 Year Old Update
- 2 Year Old Update
- 12-13 Months
- Ryder is ONE!
- 8-11 Months
- 7 Month Postpartum Update: Life with Two Kids
- 7 Months Old
- Sleep Training After the 4-Month Sleep Regression
- Postpartum Q&A: Part Two
- Postpartum Q&A: Part One
- Ryder: The Next Few Days
- Welcome Ryder Thomas! (Ryder’s Birth Story)
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Happy birthday to Ryder! He is such a cutie and I can’t believe it’s been 5 years since he was born! Just curious… Where were you in the photo where you are holding him and there is a flag behind you?!
Thank you!! And we were at the NC Transportation Museum!
Happy birthday to Ryder! Do you have any discipline/parenting books you like ? Having lots of those “brother battles” here these days haha!
Happy Birthday dear little Ryder … you smile with your whole body and we can feel it over the 500+ miles between us.
and yes I would WALK 500 MILES just for a hug from you. (oh now that song will be stuck in my head all day!(
Happy 5th birthday to. Ryder. Julie – your posts will be something not only will you and Ryan always cherish, but some day your boys will also cherish. I so which I would have done this for my 2 kiddos. At the time, you think I won’t ever forget this or that. But as the years pass you sadly do forget some of the moments that you haven’t documented. I love all of your descriptions of who Ryder is. Enjoy your special 5 year old!
Happy 5th Birthday Ryder!!! Enjoy your day. 🙂
As a mom of two boys who are just about the same ages as your oldest two, I just love reading your posts about your boys. What a sweet love letter you have written that lifts up all the amazing things about raising your son. Thank you for sharing!