Circuit style workouts may be my favorite. They’re challenging, super-sweaty and the combination of strength, plyometric and cardio exercises holds my interest and makes the workout fly by.
Today Ryan and I began our workouts with 20 minutes on the elliptical before I went on to tackle this circuit workout:
|
Reps |
Exercise |
|
15 |
Squats |
|
15 |
Reverse flies |
|
10 |
Burpees |
|
15 |
Deadlifts |
|
15 |
Upright rows |
|
10 |
Burpees |
|
15 |
Lunges (each leg) |
|
15 |
Chest press |
|
10 |
Burpees |
|
15 |
Bicep curls |
|
15 |
Tricep extensions |
|
15 |
Burpees |
|
60 sec. |
Plank hold |
I repeated the circuit workout again, substituting 35 seconds of jump rope for the burpees. I completed the circuit again after that for a total of three rounds, only I completely eliminated the burpees and jump roping to focus solely on the strength exercises.
Great workout!
In case you’re looking for additional super sweaty circuit workouts, here are some of my favorites:
Breakfast
Ryan and I made a pit stop at the grocery store on the way home to pick up some jelly because we were both missing the added sweetness on our morning egg sandwiches.
The gooey yolk from the dippy egg added an extra punch of flavor.
Moving right along to the nitty gritty of this post!
An Eye Opening Email
You may remember a post I wrote last week on PBF about a study that was conducted that basically concluded that men prefer brunettes and curvy bodies.
I shared the study and asked you guys to weigh in… to share whether you thought the study was valid, ridiculous or if you were angry that a study like this even existed.
The comments were very interesting and many different opinions were shared and a discussion began in the comments section.
The different viewpoints were mostly respectful… though there were a few that were a little pointed about the bodies of “skinny” women. The women who are naturally thin.
Later that evening, I received an email from a blog reader, Sarah, saying that she was really hurt by some of the comments and I felt absolutely awful. Sarah and I emailed back and forth a few times, discussing her feelings. Her email to me was honestly eye opening.
Knowing how upset she was and how upset other naturally thin women may have been by that post and Sarah’s email really made me sit back and think.
As a “curvier” girl (okay, so I only have curves in my butt – not the boobs), I will admit that I am frequently envious of body types like Sarah’s and other naturally lean women. I think lean, petite bodies are beautiful. I know this sounds awful, but I think that maybe because the body types of these women are looked upon as “enviable” by SO many women, we don’t think these women have insecurities about being thin or small… which is TOTALLY wrong.
I thank Sarah for shedding light on the fact that every woman – no matter WHAT shape or size – can feel insecure at times.
Bottom line: We’re all different, we’re all beautiful and there’s no reason to say degrading things about ANYONE’S shape.
I asked Sarah to share more about her experience as a naturally thin woman to shed some light on the comments and judgments that these women receive regularly. I found her story interesting and thought provoking and thought you guys might as well!
Sarah’s Story
Hello PBF Readers!
My name is Sarah and I’ve been reading Julie’s blog for a while now. I read whenever I can because I think her blog is a positive outlet for “healthy” discussions about “healthy” things, and because her easy crockpot chicken recipe changed my life (or at least my week day cooking strategies). Which is why I was surprised to leave feeling offended and turned-off after reading a post the other day. The post I am referring to is here.
It wasn’t the post itself that I found offensive, but some of the comments in the discussion. More specifically, some of these comments referred to thin women as scrawny, boyish, and not sexy and suggested that they “go eat a hamburger.”
Let me preface this by saying that I am skinny. I am a size 00, I still wear jeans that I’ve had since high school, and I fly away when the wind blows hard. Kidding…kind of. In reality, I am a healthy young woman who strives to live a balanced lifestyle. I lift weights 3-4x per week, do a moderate amount of cardio, and balance my carnivorous appetite with fruits and veggies every day. But my whole life, I’ve been made fun of because of my weight.
The teasing started at a young age, innocently enough with my family. My aunt would poke at my ribs, and my grandpa would ask me if I had to dance around in the shower to get wet. I would laugh it off, but deep down, it always bothered me. The teasing got malicious, however, when I got to middle school. Kids at school, both boys and girls, were so cruel to me, making fun of me to my face about my skinny legs, my small chest, and everything else about my body. I remember one boy actually made up a song about me that he called the anorexia song, and he would sing it when I walked into the classroom. It was very hard on me, and I would often cry myself to sleep at night. Although most of the teasing subsided once I got to high school, this treatment caused some deep self-esteem issues that took me many years to overcome.
To this day, I still get comments, mostly from my family, like “you’re so skinny” or “you need to eat more.” The fact is, I often eat more that my 6 foot, four inch 220 pound fiancé! The most frustrating part is that I know I am perfectly healthy, but I feel the need to constantly defend myself. As I mentioned in my original comment, the problem lies in that there is a negative stigma attached to insulting a woman about being overweight, but people think it’s socially acceptable to insult skinny women about their bodies. And to be honest, I really don’t understand why. I would never, in a million years, ever, insult a woman about being overweight. So why do people feel that it’s OK to tell me my booty is small or give me a dirty look when I turn down a piece of cake? Don’t tell me to go eat a hamburger; I’ll eat whatever I darn well please, thank you very much!
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Sarah, I totally agree with you that people think it’s okay to comment on the weight of a thin person, but would not touch the subject of weight with a ten foot pole for someone who is overweight. I don’t get it either.
I dont understand all of this tal about people not making comments about overweight women. I’m sorry but when I was growing up I always go teased for being overweight and never heard any thin people getting picked on. Maybe it just where im from but the negative comments go both ways, not just skinny.
I think that what people may mean is that it’s more socially acceptable for adult women to say “you’re so skinny” to a naturally thin woman and question her about selecting a salad at dinner when it seems like people, for the most part, would never say “you’re so fat” and “why would you every order fries with that sandwich” to a woman who is overweight.
Agreed.
Totally agreed Julie. I second that!
Yeah I also wanted to say that it’s one thing to be teased about being “skinny” when your younger – after all your a kid and still growing. Being gangly and not fully developed is expected.
But when your an adult women who is skinny or very thin – and I don’t mean beautiful Hollywood thin – but still gangly with a flat chest, flat butt, thin face and sharp shoulders…it’s a completely different story. THEN people judge you and immediately peg you as ugly and with an eating disorder.
It’s shameful – for someone to do that to someone else.
And SHAMING to the person affected. It makes them feel less than a human being and like crap basically.
Don’t judge ANYONE , anyone, by appearances. It’s an ugly, ugly, ugly thing to do….
I guess I should clarify – I think there is a mindset that it’s rude to tease someone for being overweight, but not so much for people who are underweight. When I was growing up I always got teased for being skinny.
It goes both ways, But I know growing up being bigger that I always got teased really bad about my weight. I disagree when you say its rude to make fun larger people so its not done cause I see larger women getting teased a hell of a lot more than thin.
I’ve had the same experience Lizzy. I think people for some reason feel okay to comment on either extreme. My super skinny friends were always getting teasing comments about being so skinny and I often got mean comments about my being obese.
Honestly, people shouldn’t comment on other people’s bodies at all. If it’s not your body, don’t talk about it.
Agreed, Mary. Degrading comments about ANY body are just not okay. Period.
I was actually just talking to a friend about this the other day. I do find it so bizarre that people will comment on a skinny person’s weight without a second thought (maybe because they think they’re being complimentary?), but it’s not considered rude (or as rude as telling an overweight person to watch what they eat).
When I went through my weight loss (over 40 lbs in about a year), I was blown away by how many people commented that I was “disappearing,” or how many people insinuated that I had an eating disorder. VERY few people had ever commented on my weight when I was 40 lbs heavier (and way overweight for my 5’2 frame), but suddenly, now that I was at a legitimate healthy weight, it was suddenly fair game in the conversation. So bizarre.
Having suffered from eating disorders for years, and although on the way to recovery now still being thin attracts unwanted attention. I haven’t been picked on directly but get the envious/disapproving looks from girls and women that like to make snide comments about me being “anorexic”. It’s the common misperception that thin = eating disorder that needs to change as well as people’s lack of understanding of what it actually means to have an eating disorder as it’s far from self starvation or over indulgence which are both mere symptoms of which there are many.
Really nice to see you taking your comments to heart and allowing Sarah to post a piece and interesting to hear her story. 🙂 Keep up the good work Julie!
I tend to lean towards thinking people pick out of jealousy, but it doesn’t make it right or less hurtful.
Thanks for sharing your story!
though … I must admit, I giggled at your grandfather’s saying of ‘dancing around in the shower to get wet’. Grandparents have the funniest ways of saying things!
Wonderful post! Sarah, I have often felt the same way as you. I am naturally thin and petite (being Asian can do that to you). I honestly have been the same weight since high school, and I couldn’t agree with you more that in society it is taboo to tease a woman for being overweight, but if she is considered “too skinny” then comments can fly! Like you, I maintain a healthy lifestyle, and that can create even more comments. I suppose it’s one thing to be naturally thin and eat chocolate cake for lunch (people assume you have a “good metabolism”), but it’s another to be thin and conscious of your health. if I had a dime for everytime someone asked me how much I weighed, why I work out so often, that I should eat a steak not a salad, etc… I would seriously be a millionaire.
I agree with Julie that we are all beautiful! Thin girls, unite 🙂
Julie – I love that you really thought about Sarah’s reaction and asked her to publish this! What a great dialogue 🙂
100% agree with Sarah we have a double standard about this. And just because other people envy a thin frame doesn’t mean you just get to comment on someone’s frame in a ‘positive’ negative way. I’m naturally thin as well (OO petite represent!) and am also gluten-intolerant so at nearly EVERY work function where we have cookies/pizza/cake etc I can’t eat anything and I get so paranoid people assume I have an eating disorder:( It’s definitely frustrating!
Good for you Sarah! My mom is actually super thin as well. She is about 5′ 6″ and maybe 105 lb. She has just always been thin! My sister is the same way…and girls in high school were SO mean to her (mostly because she is also quiet and pretty).
Don’t let comments bother you…you know who you are and that is all that matters. A lot of mean comments come from those who are insecure about themselves…we ALL have insecurities, and with all the hate in the world, we women have to stick together!
this was amazing. thank you sarah, for sharing your thoughts and the issues you deal with. i think judgement of any kind, especially woman to woman, just serves to further degrade ourselves. i hope some people, mainly those making those nasty remarks, are able to learn from this, and (as my mother would say) “dip your tongue in your brain before you speak [or type].”
your mother is a wise woman!
Sarah, your story completely resonates with me! I am also naturally thin, and I feel like I constantly have to defend myself even though I know that I take good care of my body. It seems that many people think that commenting on one’s thinness is a compliment, but when I receive these comments I end up feeling very self-conscious. I admire women with curvy bodies and often wish I were more voluptuous, but that doesn’t mean I would put them on the spot by commenting on it. We all strive for some sort of ideal, thin women included. Thank you for sharing your story- it helps me to hear that others have the same struggles as me!
Exactly. I would love to have a more “traditional” sexy body, but I don’t, so why not rock what I have?!?!
What an awesome post!
You are SO right about women of any size having insecurities. I always thought that there was no way someone super skinny could be insecure about how they look, until recently. I’ve realized that EVERYONE has insecurities, just we all have them at different levels and we’re all insecure about different things. So if we all have insecurites, what good is it to pick on eachother all the time?
Sarah – Thank you for sharing and allowing Julie the opportunity to present your side. I think the emphasis overall needs to be taken off of numbers (size, weight, etc) and be placed on health. If you are living a balanced and healthy life, then you shouldn’t ever be made to feel like you need to explain yourself or defend your numbers.
The Kidless Kronicles
Wag More, Bark….
Sarah, thank you for sharing your side of the story! No matter what our body type we are all insecure about things. Although my first thought with someone as skinny as you would be, “Lucky! She can eat whatever and not have to constantly worry about gaining weight” (which is something that’s always on my own mind about myself and that I’m trying to get past), but we always need to think about walking a mile in someone else’s shoes. Sure, you could eat more food than me, but on the other side you are getting constantly teased! The grass is always greener on the other side – we all just need to love the bodies God gave us and not put others down!
As another note, I recently caught an episode of Big Sexy and was very troubled by the show. I am all for people of any size being confident, happy, having self-esteem. But nowhere in this show did they talk about what these women do to stay healthy. It was all about loving being large and not wanting to be “skinny” but nothing about exercise, eating, health, etc. I found the message to be somewhat confusing and incomplete.
I noticed the same thing. It was odd to me. In my opinion, they made it seem like being overweight or obese is the right choice, if you can help it. Or maybe that they were trying to rebel the idea of the “ideal women”by being obese? When in all seriousness it’s actually dangerous to your health and can cause a host of other problems. Embracing that is scary.
I totally agree with Sarah. I think it’s strange that in our society, we generally keep our mouths shut and look away when we see the morbidly obese, yet readily gawk at those who are thin. I have been small and petite my entire life, and when I was younger (and very skinny) I would constantly be told to eat more…even though I already ate so much!! Now I embrace my size!
I disagree, I think society opens their mouth more when it comes to the obese. I am an overweight woman (trying to lose weight) and I get told all the time to to eat less, so it goes both ways, I’ve always heard obese people getting nasty comments way more than any thin person. Its a shame we cant just all love each other for the people we are, it all has to be about the way we look.
I think that this just goes to show that you never really know what other people are going through. Judgement and mean comments are every where, and I think the most important thing is to learn how to rise above it. In the words of the Jersey Shore, “you do you!”
Tracy, why would you say “we generally keep our mouths shut and look away when we see the morbidly obese…”? This whole comment thread and post is about accepting people for the way they are; however, when you see a morbidly obese person you have to look away? Because that doesn’t make anyone struggling with their weight feel even more awkward? Wrong. As someone who has struggled with my weight my whole 22 years, it makes me feel even more insecure when I see someone look at me and then try and avoid making eye contact, and i’m not even “morbidly obese.” It’s hurtful. Just thought you might want another point of view from someone who ISN’T naturally thin.
“it makes me feel even more insecure when I see someone look at me and then try and avoid making eye contact, and i’m not even “morbidly obese.””
THIS. Actually most morbidly obese people do get gawked at. People stare at extremely obese people all the time… and then avoid eye contact. Maybe people stare at super skinny people too, but they are much more likely to actually acknowledge a skinny person than an obese person. It’s sad and if you are obese it makes you feel insecure and horrible. Promise.
I just had to reply to this! I think Tracey worded it wrong but I feel as if what she was saying was to their face skinny people get it more. and I don’t think in a rude way but people say “EAT MORE… go shove a burger you stick , yada yada yada and when they eat salads they get pointed at for an eating disorder or something.” Versus heavier people ( I mean this in a non rude way, Everyone takes everything rudely! haha!) don’t really get told “STOP EATING so freaking MUCH you pig!” to their face. People say negative things about BOTH heavy and thin when they are extreme, and most defintily behind backs but to their face I think people think its more “right” to call thin people out. If this makes sense.
I’m glad Sarah e-mailed you. I consider my body type the epitome of average. I’m not skinny and I’m not heavy, but I have been envious of naturally “skinny girls” for as long as I can remember. I never would have thought that a smaller woman would have insecurities about being thin! Thanks for sharing your perspective, Sarah!
what she said.
no, but really… I was just about to comment everything homegirl Colleen said. after growing into my lanky body in high school and ever since being not too skinny, but not heavy, I’ve always tried to embrace my curves.
bottom line, NONE of us will ever have what WE think is the “perfect” body. everyone always wants what they don’t have. 🙂
I’ve always been envious of the girls who are so skinny with daily doses of chicken nuggets and fries! maybe that’s where the teasing lies? it’s all jealousy, girlfriend!
That’s exactly right! Just jealously. Girls that can eat and eat and eat and not gain a pound make me want to weep in the corner – with a lettuce wrap.
LOL. But I love lettuce wraps too! That’s part of it…even tho I could eat crap all of the time and not gain weight, I wouldn’t be HEALTHY. I like taking care of my body with healthy foods and exercise, regardless of how much I weigh. Plus, after all that eating, you really just get sick of chewing 😉
I love circuit workouts too, so I definitely plan on trying the one you shared in this post out!
I appreciate your story, Sarah! Thank you for being so honest and real.
My mother-in-law has always been extremely thin and was always made fun of growing up. She has always told me that it was just as hard to be unusually thin as it is to be unusually heavy. I do think that most people do it out of jealousy because most women are insecure about even the teensiest bit of extra flub. It’s a really sad commentary that no matter what size we are, society doesn’t seem to encourage us to be very nice to ourselves or others when it comes to body image.
This is so true. Anything diverging from the “norm” (whatever THAT is) causes people to stare and comment. I’ve been picked on, and I’ve been ignored to the point of feeling like I blended in with a wall. I’m not sure what’s worse anymore.
I don’t think even those who fit in the “norm” are exempt from ridicule, though we may get it a little less often. I think whatever your size and shape, there will be someone who has a problem with it, unfortunately. When you’re thin, the bigger people resent you for it. When you’re big, the little people insult you for it. I’m sort of in the middle, at a normal weight, and I still get flack occassionally from people who are overweight. I think women can be especially unkind to one another, in general. I was thinking about writing about that, actually, but I’m still sort of forming my thoughts.
(It just took me 10 minutes to find this comment lol!)
I think that’s exactly what I mean. There really isn’t a normal body type, and people can be so cruel when you vary from their “norm”, whether they decide you should be larger or smaller (or even if they’re just jealous). I can’t even just limit it to women anymore, even though you are absolutely right about women being especially unkind at times…I think there are just people out there who like making others feel bad (maybe it makes them feel better for a minute, which is sad).
And this rambled a lot, so I hope you understand what I mean. And if/when you do write about this, I’d love to read it!
I think its really interesting and eye opening to hear this side of the story. I have never been naturally skinny or thin so I honestly never knew what it felt like to be on the other side of the coin.
I think our society is so use to defending their size and not their health which has gotten us all out of wack. We all need to take a step back and concentrate on our own health instead of others.
I love this post! I think that so many people look at thin women and think that being super small is better than being overweight, when in reality I think the struggles are often much the same. I’m a thin girl, and always have been. I was always one of the smallest in my class and can remember numerous times when the hostess at a restaurant would ask if I needed a childrens menu when I was 16. My family would laugh it off, but it was very embarrassing for me. I always had a hard time finding clothes, everything always looked too big and I hated it. I even tried drinking weight gainer mixed with ice cream to gain weight in hs. It just isn’t the way my body works. I’ve come a long way to be happy in my own skin, but it’s still not always easy. I think the most important thing to realize is that we ALL have insecurities, and they are real for us no matter what they are. All women are beautiful in their own individual ways, and we need to lift each other up and embrace our differences.
LOL at the weight gainer in icecream. I got mono in highschool and lost 10 lbs off my already tiny frame. My dad would pick me up every day after school and we would stop at Sonic to get me a milkshake. My sister was so jealous, but after a while, I couldn’t even stand the smell of milkshakes 🙂
THANK YOU FOR THIS! I couldn’t agree more. I’m so tired of people telling me I need to gain weight or calling me “skinny minny”! I eat 6 times a day, my metabolism is high and I’m thin. Get over it. 🙂
Great post Julie and Sarah!!!!! It’s so nice to hear someone else tell it like it is! I’ve never understood why people think because you’re naturally thin that you should eat unhealthy foods, but some people definitely do! Just because I’m thin, doesn’t mean I don’t want my body to eat healthy, nutritious food! I don’t want to live (everyday, at least ;)) on pizza and cookies! I want to be healthy! Way to go girls!
It seems like what you just said really hits the nail on the head. I bet a lot of naturally very thin women feel pressure to eat dessert or order fries instead of fruit because of the judgment from others. caring about your health is about a lot more than caring about your weight!
YES! I struggle with this VERY often. Although I’m of average height (5’5″), I naturally have a very petite frame (i.e. my hand easily wraps around my wrist). Thus, I often feel very pressured to eat when indulgent type foods are around. Sometimes I hate going to bridal and baby showers because all there is to eat there is JUNK! And while I think it’s okay to have a few snacky junk foods, I’m not going to fill my entire plate with crap. Yet, it never fails that when I just choose a few pieces to snack on, instead of overindulging, I get numerous comments. “Come on…live a little!” or “You know, a few treats won’t hurt you.” or “Gees, no wonder you’re so skinny….” or “Are you not hungry or something?” I feel like I constantly need to defend my food choices, because people are so focused on and concerned with what I’m eating. But then when a “normal” sized, or overweight woman has the same plate as me, no one even notices or takes a second glance. What I have learned, though, is that my confidence doesn’t come from what people think of me. I know that I don’t deprive myself; I know that I’m healthy; I know that I treat my body with respect, and that’s all that matters. If other women want to read into it, that’s not my problem.
Along with that, as a few other women are saying as well, there are some downsides to being naturally small. It’s funny that people say they are envious of thin women, but I can attest that thin women are sometimes jealous of others! Oh, what I would give to be able to shop in the WOMEN’S department. What I would give to have some age appropriate clothing! And shirts that can’t be pulled out a foot away from my chest. What I would give to fit into a bra outside of the little girls department! Or even find a pair of women’s SOCKS that fit!!!!!! lol
I struggle with this all the time too! I’m thin and so when I choose to have a salad because that’s what I actually enjoy eating for lunch, I’m ridiculed by my coworkers and they always say rolling their eyes, “oh a salad again?!” Or, “c’mon eat a hamburger or steak! You can afford it!” I really don’t appreciate these comments – especially since I have a past of disordered eating struggles.
I’m at a healthy weight and I pride myself on feeding my body nutritious healthy food. I don’t think it’s right that my coworkers feel it’s necessary to say comments like that to me. I would never do the opposite and tell them to eat a salad or comment on their eating habits. Very frustrating, but in the end I think it just all boils down to jealousy and no one should comment about other people’s bodies or food choices, it’s their decision!
Thank you so much Sarah for sharing your story and Julie for this awesome post. It feels good to know that we can all come together and talk about this! 🙂
I wouldn’t assume that only thin women get this type of reaction. Especially when we’re dieting, us larger women get comments from the food police all the time. Either questioning whether we should eat what we chose to eat or telling us, like you said, that it won’t kill us to just have a little cake (if we tried to make healthy choices).
Amen!
Julie, thank you so much for this post. I also struggle with feeling pressure to “overindulge” so people do not think I am some health freak. I’m naturally petite as well, so it was such a humbling experience to know that there are other women out there that feel the same pressure as me. I just started reading your blog about a week ago, and it has already had an impact on my life (I also bought protein powder and a blender last night when I was at the grocery store ha).
PS: Love your name! lol. Not often I meet another Julie.
I agree completely! I too am naturally thin and I often feel pressure from others to finish everything on my plate (especially when eating out at a restaurant) even when I’m stuffed, just so they won’t make snarky comments!
Hi Julie! I just started to read your blog a few weeks ago and I can honestly say it sets such a positive tone for my day! I love this post! When I was younger I got the SAME thing all throughout school and from my parents about being TOO skinny, and then when I graduated high school I packed on the pounds after living on fast food and frozen pizzas… I went from a size 0 to a size 6 quickly. I thought it was funny that the same people who criticized me for being TOO skinny were now criticizing me for being TOO fat… AT A SIZE 6! These days I’m at a healthy size 4 and can’t complain, but I realize that you can never please society-you and Sarah are right-women come in all shapes and sizes, and are all beautiful, and we should all remind ourselves of that daily!
I don’t consider myself naturally thin, I definitely have a butt on me, but I have one mean commenter that always refers to me as a “little boy” and talks about how my ex broke up with me because he wants a real women with curves and boobs. That definitely hurts – it’s crazy how awful women are to each other and how some people envy what other women find awful.
I wonder if your commenter would like to be friends with some of my commenters? 🙂
And, for the record, I think you have a rockin’ bod, Clare.
Clare, I read your blog and you are not “little boy” in the slightest!! I think it’s awful that someone would write that and then say something in regards to your previous significant other. Who do people think they are? I know we are “online” but come on…that is no excuse to not use a social filter and monitor what we say to one another just as we would in real life.
Let me stir the pot a little…Claire, Julie, Clare…we all got booties let’s embrace it! Hehe 🙂
YEAH for donks and booties!
This was a great post! I think Sarah is so right when she (and you, Julie) highlighted that women of all body shapes can be insecure about how they look.
Re: Circuits – I love em too! I just posted my most recent fave and love how circuits can get your heart rate up and strengthen muscles at the same time!
Wonderful , simply wonderful post!! Thank you Sarah !!
Good for you Sarah!
And Julie too!
My best friend has the same issue as Sarah, she too is smaller than a size 0. She shops in the little kids department because she can’t find clothes that fit. It has baffled me by how mean people are to her thinking she must starve herself. The reality of it is that like Sarah she eats more than the average man but has a very fast metabolism. This has also caused her to have crazy complications when pregnant with both her children. She had to be on bed rest at 3 months and eat stuff like cheesecake batter to get enough calories and still didn’t couldn’t carry to term. We need to remember everyone has their struggles and we shouldn’t presume to know what anyone is going through.
WOW; loved this post, Julie!
Sarah, It must get exhausting having to ‘prove’ you actually eat to everyone when, in reality, it’s none of their stinkin’ business!
I can definitely see how that constant attention on your weight would be tiring and annoying. So glad you got to speak your mind!
Once I was sitting in the bar area of a Legal Seafood to have dinner after a shopping evening. There are these long community tables, and after a short while two middle aged women sat done a few seats next to me to do the same, have a quick dinner. I think one of the woman, a more full-figured one, was ‘offended’ by me being ‘skinny’. Anyways, it was difficult to not overhear their conversation since we were at the same table, and I could hear phrases like “I will order this, because…. do I look like a freak’ anorexic?” with a look in my direction hurled in my way.
I must say I was stunned. Such spite! It was kind of clear this was a slightly overweight person turning the tables; instead of admitting she could loose a few pounds she made me the freak object.
But you know, in the end you just have to see through this behavior. It is obviously a person not happy with her weight, otherwise she would be at peace and leave other people alone.
It still felt kind of unfair/hurtful to be mislabeled like that.
I’m sorry, I read every day and never usually comment, but THIS comment: “instead of admitting she could loose a few pounds she made me the freak object. ”
is EXACTLY what the problem is. How are you any less at fault for your comment now then how they were making you feel? Why did she “have to lose a few pounds?” because you felt she was over weight? What if she was perfectly healthy (which is possible), and just larger then you?
I don’t think what they did was right, but you clearly are in the wrong too. You said it hurt to be mislabeled like that, but you did it as well to her!
We shouldn’t be judging anyone by how they look, most of the time you can.not.tell. how healthy someone is by looking at them. End of story. EVEN the “over weight” or those who could “lose a few pounds”
Jessica, I have to say I agree with you. I think that Silvia’s comment was a defense mechanism, the same as the girl who was judging her at the bar.
I was not interested in her, I did not judge her, I did not hurl comments into her direction, and I don’t ever judge anyone with regard to their shape and size, not even if they are morbidly obese or anorexic.
She did not admit TO HERSELF that she was unhappy with her body and weight because otherwise she would have not incessantly talked about food, what to eat, what not to eat, should she eat, was it worth it,could she afford it, the whole meal through and made her feeling of guilt and conflict so obvious. So, she was not ok with herself and in the by-process hurled comments around anyone who in her eyes might secretly judge her (I did not) for her choices (and was obviously thin and must judge her). She was clearly uncomfortable with herself. The “she could loose a few pounds” was in her mind, not in mine because I could care less and I don’t know her.
I really hope to never hurt anyone’s feelings. Especially when it comes to body image. It’s such a personal thing.
Sarah — thanks for sharing your story here. I love that people come in different shapes and sizes, it makes us all unique and it bothers me that there are people who think they can comment negatively about someone’s appearance. Obviously if there is a health concern, I’m all for talking to someone, but otherwise, why judge? Sorry to read that you’ve dealt with this for a long time.
Thank you thank you thank you for posting this! When I read the comments from the brunettes and curves post I felt the same way as Sarah. It’s very true that it is socially acceptable to make negative comments towards skinny women and that’s not okay. I constantly struggle with defending my weight and that I DON’T have an eating disorder. Friends always say I look too skinny and it’s not a compliment, it actually hurts! I have been thin and lanky my entire life. I’m jealous of other women who have beautifully toned arms and backs because I simply don’t have the muscle structure to build muscle like that! Julie, I truly appreciate you posting this and opening up the discussion further. You’re a great writer 🙂
Loved this post! I definetly feel the same way sometimes!! I am very short and tiny for my age, and have had to deal with alot of negativity as well. But thats the way it has been my whole life. It was very refreshing to read this, thanks 🙂
What a great post – thanks for sharing Sarah!
Growing up I was overweight/obese and was teased viciously by classmates all through public school which inevitably had a severe effect on my self-esteem. In turn, I would eat my feelings which only contributed to my weight issues and health problems.
Over the past few years I have lost quite a bit of weight so I could lead a healthier life. I used portion control, cardio and strength training and lost weight slowly to help ensure I could maintain the weight loss. The benefits have been tremendous: more energy, improved immune system, and clothes fit a lot better!
The downside, however, has been the comments I receive from family and friends about my weight loss such as “you’re wasting away!” and “where did you disappear too?” They don’t seem to care much that I am healthier than I was before and am much happier with my new approach to lfie. For the record, I’m between a size 4 and 6, my BMI is right in the middle of the healthy range for my height (5’7″), I have curves, I run, and I do strength training so have some muscle tone. I also eat a lot. And apparently this all means that I am “too skinny” and “wasting away.”
We live in a society that has normalized obesity, has glamourized being “skinny” but also seems to think it is okay to pass judgment and publicly comment on other people’s bodies, regardless of how hurtful, idiotic, and baseless those comments can be.
This is one of the reasons why I joined the healthy living blogging community; it provides me with a support system of people who have similar goals as I do and approach life similarly to me. It is so much easier to deal with the negative comments when I know that there are so many other people out there who will cheer me on in support but will also express concern if there is a legitimate reason to do so. It doesn’t always make the negative comments hurt less, but it does help me to move on in a positive manner.
As a whole, our society has completely distorted views on what is healthy and what is “normal.” I love that you brought Sarah’s story to light because no one is safe from peer bullying when it comes to what you weigh, what you wear, and who you look!
My best friend and I frequently have this conversation. She is “naturally” small. She has a small chest and a very small build and when she complains about her legs being rubbing together I tell her that she must think
I am obese being that I am 4 inches taller than her and obviously heavier. I am a very average build and like any woman I see areas of my body that i would like to change. It is always so eye opening to me to have a 100 pound friend who feels the same way as I do, even if she is 3 sizes smaller than I am. Everyone has their own body image problems and I know how Sarah feels because my best friend often feels the same way! Thanks for sharing!!
Thanks for telling your story Sarah, I envy your courage to share your story with the blogger world! As long as you feel comfortable in your own body and your fiance/ husband to be loves you for you than forget about all those haters out there! 🙂
You are awesome, Sarah and I love your attitude! 🙂
You keep it up and keep loving yourself for being you. Knowing you are healthy is all that matters. I completely understand how others words can get to us, but ignoring it and believing in you is the only way to be!
Thank you for sharing Sarah. When I was thin my family made fun of me and told me I needed to gain weight or just be sticks and bones. Kids at school were rude.
I gained weight with a lot of health issues and people made fun of me for it a lot then. Even after I stared losing weight to be a healthy weight people told me I was “getting to skinny” and should eat more.
The focus totally being one weight and appearance bothers me because me because I’m much more than it all. I’ve gained and lost due to poor diet and exercise but all due to extreme health issues I can’t control.
Focus on me and base judgement on me.
There are an awful lot of comments on here about how society thinks its ok to say something about a thin person, yet wont about an obese person and I’m just wondering what planet you all live on cause its not like that on mine. For the most part obese women get it so much worse than thin women. Theres article in every gossip magazine about kirsty alley being huge, etc. Its unfair that as an overweight woman I cant dress cute because there are no cute clothes in my size. I get judged when I walk into a store (that dosnt sell my size) to buy something. I wont go to the mall unless I absolutely need something because of all of the looks and comments I get. I once went prom dress shopping with a friend that was thin and this lady came and complimented my friend that she was so cute and then turned to me and said “you’re a little cute too, you’re just a little bigger.” Right in front of my friend, in the mall. I was mortified. I left and went straight home and cried. I understand what you are saying about peolpe making insensitive comments, but it goes both ways, but for the most part it goes big.
I agree. Being very thin is generally more accepted by society than being even a tiny bit overweight. Look at the jersey shore as a microcosm of society… We may not all be guidos but there sure are a lot of people who act just like them when out at a bar/club/frat party–you never hear them calling a girl too thin… She’s always a hippopotamus, a water buffalo, a beast, a swamp creature, or simply a “fat girl” (when the girls are just average and not even overweight!) Never is anyone called a bean pole or a twig. it doesn’t mean that being called anorexic is NOT hurtful, I just think people are MUCH quicker to call someone fat than they are too thin. And a lot of thetimes, the too thin comment is out of jealousy, whereas the fat comment is out of pure disgust (and evident on their faces). It’s messed up.
Everyone has their own experience. Sarah was just sharing hers. This isn’t a “which body type has it worst from society contest.”
I agree. I guess maybe my perception is that people definitely make comments about over weight women behind their backs, but are more than open about making comments to a skinny women to her face. But again, that’s my perception. It’s actually ironic, but while I am underweight and experience that side of the spectrum, my sister, whom I love and adore more than anything, struggles with being obese. It’s just the genetic hands we were dealt. I see the struggles that she goes through every day, and it’s really hard for me to see her unhappy. I would never make a degrading comment to my sister about her weight. But she has always teased me about mine. I know that it comes from a place of insecurity which is why I just take it, but really, I don’t think it’s fair for her to make comments like that to me. But my experience with this is why I have the perception that I do.
I have no idea what is like to be an ‘thin’ woman. From birth I have been ‘big boned’ as nice people would say…. It doesn’t matter the shape or size we all feel self concious at times. It must be human nature…..
THANK YOU to Julie and Sarah for posting this!!!!!!!!!
I am an overweight (okay, obese) gal, and am very frustrated at times with how the “healthy living” and “fat acceptance” communities can bash thin women.
Just a few weeks ago I was outraged by a post insulting skinny women for saying they have curves. As if “having curves” means you have to be overweight. BLARG. I digress.
I think all women deserve to be honored, loved, and respected no matter if they’re a size 00 or 28. We are all human beings. I love both of your positive attitudes, and commend both of you for stepping forward on this issue!!!
that is so interesting to me! i definitely think you can be curvy and thin just like you can not be curvy and be heavier, you know?
I absolutely agree!
Oh, and in case you would like to read the post I was referring to, here’s the link : http://www.eatmovewrite.com/2011/08/25/real-women-are-healthy/
I also find stuff like this really interesting. How we define each other – and why we even NEED to define each other. It’s really got me thinking and meditating on how I look at myself, how I look at other women, and how they must be perceiving me. As someone in the middle of their “getting healthy” journey, it can be pretty disheartening.
Thank you for sharing your story, Sarah! I am sorry that you had to endure such hurtful comments over something so personal that is obviously out of your control. My mom is naturally very thin too, but she has never talked about being picked on for it, so it’s honestly not something I had considered a lot.
Body-wise I am totally different than you. I’m 5’10” and am currently an 8-10, a size I’ve had to work really hard to get to. I’m at a healthy weight & BMI for my height (I have almost reached my goal), and I generally feel confident and happy. Sometimes my confidence gets shot down (like when random strangers at work ask if I’m pregnant after I’ve already lost 40 lbs), and I’m sorry to say that my reaction is to be jealous of naturally thin girls and wish that I could be in their shoes. I have never made a hurtful comment to a thin women, but for those comments you’ve received, please consider that it’s very likely coming from a place of jealousy.
In my opinion, living a healthy, active, balanced life is the most important thing, and it’s what makes me feel beautiful. I hope it makes you feel beautiful too!
Great story and great attitude Sarah! 🙂
I just don’t understand why kids (and people in general) can be so malicious. It breaks my heart that things that happen in our childhood can tear us apart for the rest of our lives. I’ve dealt with comments about my nose since I was in 3rd grade and have never wanted anything more than to get it fixed! It’s not something I talk about with anyone except close family and friends because I don’t like bringing any more attention than it already does.
I am sorry to any naturally skinny girl I have ever made comments to! It has never been out of malice and always a compliment, but Sarah’s perspective made me realize that they may have not been taken as a compliment! I have always admired the body type and think it is so graceful and beautiful! I grew up around a lot of tiny ballerinas and always envied their beauty!
I think it’s great that you and Julie have highlighted that women’s shapes, skinny or not shouldn’t be a target for negativity. I think there are so many images and magazine articles out there focusing on who’s “too curvy” or “too skinny” that we’ve become de-sensitised to how women’s bodies are talked about, scrutinised and judged.
P.S My grandmother once told my sister she was “A fine STOUT girl” which my sister (and I) interpreted as old people talk for “fat”. In my Granny’s eyes she was paying her a compliment but it gave my sister a massive weight complex.
I think everyone no matter what size they may be will always feel like they are being “targeted” at some point. It may be because they are too big, skinny, short, tall…but in some point of their life someone is going to make a comment. (usually because the attacker is insecure themselves!).
But, Sarah, I can totally relate to you being called too thin. Throughout school I was made fun of for being too skinny. While I don’t think anyone ever came out and called me anorexic, I still was told that I should eat more. When someone called me “bony face” I was so hurt! I just ignore comments now…as long as your happy and healthy..that’s all that matters!
DUH Julie.. your ass is suppose to be bigger than your chest… your chest is just non existent so thats why its three sizes larger……. lol… Anyways when you say you envy those skinny ladies.. you are making the curvier women feel bad when you are just stick thin and what makes some women think?
my intent is never to hurt or offend anyone. i was trying to express that i envy the bodies of other women just like many women out there. i also envy the bodies of women who are “curvier” as you put it, but this post was about the “skinny” women.
i really do appreciate your concern about me possibly making others feel bad when that is never what i hope to do here, but your comments (below and here) about me, my shape and my chest clearly have no regard for my feelings.
the whole point of this post is that we should never try to bring each other down, but rather encourage and empower each other. i’m sorry if this post upset you and you missed the point, but i’m hoping it will make people out there – myself included – step back and think before they say degrading things.
and i think you meant to reply to comment thread #47, not #46. i just don’t want kristi to be confused if she gets email notifications with these comments.
seems like you should stop worrying about how julie classifies her body, and start paying more attention to your inability to participate in healthy discussion without being offensive and ignorant.
internet trolls… truly pitiful people.
I don’t understand this comment? Channeling Stephanie Tanner, “How RUDE!”
uhhhh you are not on the “curvier” side. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You are flat as a board… I guess little lumps count as curves in your head??
i never said i have a chest, but i do have hips and a booty. when i was measured for my wedding dress my hips measured three sizes larger than my chest and waist measurement.
That was a very rude comment sonia. Not to mention if you read correctly Julie said “As a “curvier” girl (okay, so I only have curves in my butt – not the boobs.)”
…are you serious with this comment? you completely missed the entire point of her post.
i know you try to ignore negative comments, julie, but i find it hard to ignore them sometimes. i think bullies need to be confronted, and people who leave idiotic comments should be confronted just the same.
“sonia,” get your head out of your ass.
O.M.G. Come on………. Julie….you’re not as flat as a board. LOL I’m not saying this out of insecurity, just in confident honesty….but you should see me!! If I don’t wear a padded bra, I AM as flat as a board. (and I’m not ashamed or embarrassed about it….that’s just how it is!!!!) You have beautiful curves. And even if you didn’t, you’d still be hott, in your own way, shape and form!!! I know you know this….just don’t let STUPID comments get in the way.
Sonia,
Bless your heart…you must have missed Julie’s post on negativity. We’ll forgive your ignorance just this once.
Julie don’t even give people like that the satisfaction of response! You don’t have to defend yourself or your body!
Wow, Sonia.
You’ve just given us a perfect example women hating other women. Your negativity and cruelty towards Julie is compeltely uncalled for. I sincerely hope you take the time to be more positive in your life. You’ll feel better about yourself, and stop hurting others.
Thank you for sharing this! My neighbor and one of my best friends has a similar story to Sarah’s, but before I met her, I never understood that the ridicule and teasing went both ways. Well…maybe I did, I guess I just didn’t realize it hurt someone’s feelings who was thin. I think I just figured they didn’t mind because they were thin and isn’t that what we all want to be? Well, obviously, I have learned alot from her and now from Sarah too. My friend is currently training for her first half marathon and instead of support, most of the comments she gets when she tells people go something like “Why are you RUNNING, you are already skinny”…But she is trying to help people understand that healthy is something that everyone wants to achieve and “skinny” doesn’t always mean healthy.
Thanks for sharing Sarah’s story Julie, it’s nice to hear the other side of the story which unfortunately doesn’t get as much attention. Sarah, thanks for standing up for yourself and sharing with us all! I think what it comes down to is that it’s unfortunate anyone feels the need to make fun of other people in general whether they’re skinny, overweight, short or tall. Too bad people can’t channel that effort and energy into something productive.
This is a great post.
We all have our insecurities. No matter what, a person will always find fault with themselves & envy another person for something they have. I understand both sides of the argument here — people are either “picked on” or singled out for being “too fat” or “too thin.” It seems like no matter what is said or done, there is always going to be a struggle between the two.