Circuit style workouts may be my favorite. They’re challenging, super-sweaty and the combination of strength, plyometric and cardio exercises holds my interest and makes the workout fly by.
Today Ryan and I began our workouts with 20 minutes on the elliptical before I went on to tackle this circuit workout:
|
Reps |
Exercise |
|
15 |
Squats |
|
15 |
Reverse flies |
|
10 |
Burpees |
|
15 |
Deadlifts |
|
15 |
Upright rows |
|
10 |
Burpees |
|
15 |
Lunges (each leg) |
|
15 |
Chest press |
|
10 |
Burpees |
|
15 |
Bicep curls |
|
15 |
Tricep extensions |
|
15 |
Burpees |
|
60 sec. |
Plank hold |
I repeated the circuit workout again, substituting 35 seconds of jump rope for the burpees. I completed the circuit again after that for a total of three rounds, only I completely eliminated the burpees and jump roping to focus solely on the strength exercises.
Great workout!
In case you’re looking for additional super sweaty circuit workouts, here are some of my favorites:
Breakfast
Ryan and I made a pit stop at the grocery store on the way home to pick up some jelly because we were both missing the added sweetness on our morning egg sandwiches.
The gooey yolk from the dippy egg added an extra punch of flavor.
Moving right along to the nitty gritty of this post!
An Eye Opening Email
You may remember a post I wrote last week on PBF about a study that was conducted that basically concluded that men prefer brunettes and curvy bodies.
I shared the study and asked you guys to weigh in… to share whether you thought the study was valid, ridiculous or if you were angry that a study like this even existed.
The comments were very interesting and many different opinions were shared and a discussion began in the comments section.
The different viewpoints were mostly respectful… though there were a few that were a little pointed about the bodies of “skinny” women. The women who are naturally thin.
Later that evening, I received an email from a blog reader, Sarah, saying that she was really hurt by some of the comments and I felt absolutely awful. Sarah and I emailed back and forth a few times, discussing her feelings. Her email to me was honestly eye opening.
Knowing how upset she was and how upset other naturally thin women may have been by that post and Sarah’s email really made me sit back and think.
As a “curvier” girl (okay, so I only have curves in my butt – not the boobs), I will admit that I am frequently envious of body types like Sarah’s and other naturally lean women. I think lean, petite bodies are beautiful. I know this sounds awful, but I think that maybe because the body types of these women are looked upon as “enviable” by SO many women, we don’t think these women have insecurities about being thin or small… which is TOTALLY wrong.
I thank Sarah for shedding light on the fact that every woman – no matter WHAT shape or size – can feel insecure at times.
Bottom line: We’re all different, we’re all beautiful and there’s no reason to say degrading things about ANYONE’S shape.
I asked Sarah to share more about her experience as a naturally thin woman to shed some light on the comments and judgments that these women receive regularly. I found her story interesting and thought provoking and thought you guys might as well!
Sarah’s Story
Hello PBF Readers!
My name is Sarah and I’ve been reading Julie’s blog for a while now. I read whenever I can because I think her blog is a positive outlet for “healthy” discussions about “healthy” things, and because her easy crockpot chicken recipe changed my life (or at least my week day cooking strategies). Which is why I was surprised to leave feeling offended and turned-off after reading a post the other day. The post I am referring to is here.
It wasn’t the post itself that I found offensive, but some of the comments in the discussion. More specifically, some of these comments referred to thin women as scrawny, boyish, and not sexy and suggested that they “go eat a hamburger.”
Let me preface this by saying that I am skinny. I am a size 00, I still wear jeans that I’ve had since high school, and I fly away when the wind blows hard. Kidding…kind of. In reality, I am a healthy young woman who strives to live a balanced lifestyle. I lift weights 3-4x per week, do a moderate amount of cardio, and balance my carnivorous appetite with fruits and veggies every day. But my whole life, I’ve been made fun of because of my weight.
The teasing started at a young age, innocently enough with my family. My aunt would poke at my ribs, and my grandpa would ask me if I had to dance around in the shower to get wet. I would laugh it off, but deep down, it always bothered me. The teasing got malicious, however, when I got to middle school. Kids at school, both boys and girls, were so cruel to me, making fun of me to my face about my skinny legs, my small chest, and everything else about my body. I remember one boy actually made up a song about me that he called the anorexia song, and he would sing it when I walked into the classroom. It was very hard on me, and I would often cry myself to sleep at night. Although most of the teasing subsided once I got to high school, this treatment caused some deep self-esteem issues that took me many years to overcome.
To this day, I still get comments, mostly from my family, like “you’re so skinny” or “you need to eat more.” The fact is, I often eat more that my 6 foot, four inch 220 pound fiancé! The most frustrating part is that I know I am perfectly healthy, but I feel the need to constantly defend myself. As I mentioned in my original comment, the problem lies in that there is a negative stigma attached to insulting a woman about being overweight, but people think it’s socially acceptable to insult skinny women about their bodies. And to be honest, I really don’t understand why. I would never, in a million years, ever, insult a woman about being overweight. So why do people feel that it’s OK to tell me my booty is small or give me a dirty look when I turn down a piece of cake? Don’t tell me to go eat a hamburger; I’ll eat whatever I darn well please, thank you very much!
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It’s the most ridiculous double standard.
I think it’s really awesome that you took the time to think about what Sarah said and use it to facilitate a serious discussion. I always think back to a lab I took in college – my degree is in nutrition and I took a Methods of Nutritional Assessment lab senior year. In the class we did body fat testing using calipers (big claw looking thing). I have always been self-conscious about my body and completely dreading this assignment. Some of my lab group members had amazing, tiny figures, but interestingly enough many the girls I envied had a higher percent body fat than I did even thought I was a few sizes bigger. Bottom line: Everyone has a different body type. Everyone has different genes. Everyone has different activity levels and eating habits. XS is not necessarily someone who only eats lettuce, XL is not necessarily someone who only eats french fries. As women, we all need to be a little kinder to one another’s bodies.
My younger brother once said to me after I made an “I feel fat” comment that “Skinny and Fat ain’t nothin’ but a state of mind.” He is absolutely right.
Why can’t we just all realize, we’re all human, we all have feelings and insecurities regardless of size. WOMEN are probably the main reason we have these insecurities because of the comparisons we make. I even remember an article in a fitness magazine that when women go to the beach, they are more self-conscious about women seeing their bodies than men. THAT IS RIDICULOUS!
Women, all shapes and sizes, are BEAUTIFUL! Whether you’re rail thin, normal or overweight, who the hell cares? We have ONE LIFE on this earth, do we really want to define that life by telling people how they should look? There are more important issues, in my opinion.
Thank you for posting your story Sarah, I have had similar experiences. I think that in general, people (in a work setting) are more comfortable commenting on the way a fit or skinny person eats, and how they look, than the habits of someone a little heavier. I think these comments are generally meant to be compliments of sorts, but don’t come accross that way. I’m often left feeling self conscious, judged, and as if my diet it under constant scrutiny.
you’re so right about the work setting… I’ve recently lost weight and someone at work commented on it and I said ‘Yes I have lost weight, thank you!’ and to that he responded ‘OMG I’m going to have to go buy you a hamburger!’
Really… why is it always a hamburger??? what does that actually do for anyone?
It’s ALWAYS a hamburger. Unless it’s a sandwich. Go eat a sandwich…
another 1+ on the hamburger train…
Seriously makes me want to punch people in the face sometimes. It’s not like people go around yelling at people who have more meat on their bones to “go eat a piece of lettuce.” How is it any different?
Everyone is teased as a child at some point, and it touches us all in some way. As women, we’re hard on ourselves and each other. There is no shape, size, or color that constitutes a real woman. We’re all real women, correct? We all have 2 X chromosomes no matter what size jeans or bra we wear, so why hate on each other? We all have problems and we’ll never know because we can’t walk in each other’s shoes. So no matter what we look like, I think we all deserve to respect one another and receive respect in return. So do what Thumper from Bambie would do, “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.”
When people make comments like that it’s because they themselves are insecure and by putting you down it makes them feel better. You have to understand that this behavior actually means they are not happy with themselves, try not to take it personally, and instead feel sorry for them and try to help them…
Since I’ve made a commitment to being healthier and more active all I hear from my family is that I’m getting ‘too skinny’ and they should worry and if I lose any more weight I’ll look awful – I’m a size 4, nothing crazy. I have a normal Body Fat percentage and slightly high weight for my height I run and I strength train. It is hard to hear things about yourself but if you know you’re not starving yourself and you’re happy just realize you’re a lot further in life than most ppl are 🙂
I have to say, since weight & food have always been such a struggle for me I’ve always looked at tiny women with envy — until I found out one girl whom I was always envious of was actually severely anorexic. Then I took a whole different look at the way I was seeing beauty in people. Everyone has their own body type/metabolism and what’s beautiful is a healthy, confident woman who is active and fit 🙂
Thank you for sharing your honest story Sarah! I may be slightly jealous of your high metabolism, but I promise not to make fun of you for it 😉
“there is a negative stigma attached to insulting a woman about being overweight, but people think it’s socially acceptable to insult skinny women about their bodies”
SO SO SO true! I find that being petite always leads to “nice” comments about be being so small. I feel that any attention to someone’s size is strange if they’re not losing weight or drawing attention to it themselves!
Wow. I know how you feel Sarah. I had a similar experience in high school, people would call me bulimic or anorexic. It really hurt.
My best friend growing up had a body type like Sarah– in fact, she still struggles with being underweight (by BMI standards).
She’s a registered dietitian now so she really is focused on being healthy over being the perfect weight. I think she’s beautiful no matter what!
I agree with the other comments that when people remark negatively about someone’s petite size, it most likely stems from jealously. It seems weird that anyone would comment about another person’s weight at all. I also agree with Sadie’s wise words ‘The haters be hatin.” So true, Sadie, so true. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your story, Sarah!
Great post Julie. As a pre-teen growing up, I was extremely skinny and was made fun of for that. A boy in my English class said he could never date someone like me because I was ‘too skinny’.
Anyway I hit my mid-teens and with that came a booty and now I was made fun of my ‘ big butt’. It was never very malicious but still affected me enough to think it was something undesirable and I used to wear long tops to cover my booty. It took me until a few years ago or so to realize that having a booty is not a bad thing and is part of me being a woman and not a 13 year old.
My point is no matter what your body looks like people will always find something to criticize you about. Haters gonna hate!!
I said it in my comment above, but I will say it again. You can not tell how “healthy” someone is by the way they look, ever. You may THINK you can, but really – unless you are running blood tests, oh and their MD, you are just judging.
I think all women really need to get in the practice of supporting one another, not judging and bringing others down. I see A LOT of these comments as super negative, “oh, obese people have it easier, no one comments on them, it is so taboo” or “I am obese and people have been so terrible to me!”
Everyone has their own life experience and to try and think YOU have it worse then someone else is just ridiculous. How about we stop focusing on how we look, what others eat and how hard we have it (Helllooooo “white girl problems” (http://www.rachelwilkerson.com/2010/10/12/white-girl-problems/) and just live our lives the best we can! Loving our life, our loved ones, other people and even our bodies!
I personally think that people tease thin women and girls because they are jealous. I have been at both ends of the spectrum. It is really annoying to have people think you have an eating disorder. When I was growing up, I was a little bit chunkier, and all my friends were absolute “sticks.” That’s what was normal for my school and I was always called “bigger” by people. In this society, obesity has become such as epidemic that it’s now called a disease and it’s considered very rude to call someone fat because you do never know if they have an underlying medical condition or something. Overall, I feel like most of the time, people making fun of thin girls are just envious. I don’t think they are malicious as “fat” comments can be.
Let me please quote a young writer who made me (luckily) realize that judgement is the worst thing ever:
“We are not our bodies. Our souls are not our stomachs. Our brains are not our butts” – Courtney E. Martin, Perfect Girls Starving Daughters (review can be found on my blog).
This book just made me realize: How can we expect others not to judge us by the way we look, if we do the exact same. I thought I was pretty “judgement free” but once I started paying attention I noticed I really wasn’t. Not saying your judgements out loud does not mean you’re not judgemental. Everybody is beautiful, just the way they are.
I am a naturally more curvy girl, but never have I been overweight. A friend of mine is one of those naturally very skinny girls. I once had a conversation with her about body types. She said: you know, you don’t eat much! And I answered: No I don’t, this is just the way I’m built, I mean, I could maybe be a bit smaller with even healthier eating and more exercise, but that would take the joy out of food. It’s just how I am built. And she answered: Oh… that sucks!
She didn’t realize what that did. In some way or another she was saying that my body was apparently not something admirable, that my body was not “right”. It still haunts me. Everybody, every body, is different, so don’t judge by the body. Judge by the brains, personality, humor, generosity and all those other things that really matter in a person.
Inspiring story Sarah, thank you for sharing this.
I’ve been on both sides of this topic. Growing up I was teased for being “too” skinny also. I ate what I wanted, which some days included 2 Big Macs. In college I gained weight and then began to receive comments about my weight gain and how I needed to “lose” some weight. Again, when I lost all that weight I started getting comments again about how I was too skinny and needed to eat more. What nobody knew was that my insecurities got the best of me and suffered from an eating disorder in order to meet other people’s expectations.
Sara and Julie have a point. No matter what body type a woman is, she is beautiful. People don’t think before they speak sometimes. They don’t realize how a comment will affect somebody’s life. We can’t control what they say or what they think. So, instead of blaming others for their comments just shrug them off. Nobody else will tell you who you are other than yourself.
You MUST be talking about the 2 for 3 deal at McDonalds…2 Big Macs for $3. Highschool staple! No matter how much I weigh, I can’t believe I used to eat like that!! Blech…
I know this is completely unrelated – but you should consider putting your workouts as a PDF or picture so people can pin it. 🙂
I can totally relate to Sarah because I’m tall. People are always saying “Wow you’re tall” “How tall are you?!!” “You must play basketball” No thank you I play volleyball. I suppose I live up to that stereotype that all tall people play a sport. It does get old though when strangers say something about my height. Its like YES I’M TALL, GET OVER IT! Great post!
Does everyone else see the parallel to Julie’s post a few days ago about how she felt the need to defend what she ate? I remember a commenter on that prior post said that the people who are making the mean or judgmental comments are probably doing so because they are insecure about themselves.
I think the lesson is very clearly that we need to try and be less judgmental. Sometimes its hard because you don’t even realize you are being judgmental because you have good intentions. Holding someone to your idea of what a healthy person eats or looks like is making a judgment though.
I think its human nature to compare yourself to others and feel uncomfortable will you feel you come up short in the comparison. If there’s a real concern, there are much nicer ways to raise your honest concern. In the end we’ll never fully know or understand what another person’s life is like, so rather than passing judgments, I think the best way to combat this problem is to find more love for ourselves and show more love to others.
beautiful comment, nicole. 🙂
I hate two things: Female on female hate, and when women,girls, teens etc. have low self esteem usually resulting from the first thing. It breaks my heart when a girl doesnt see her self as beautiful inside and out and it makes me wonder who or what made her that way. I think the healthy living blog world from what I see, is a great example of women coming together in a positive way. I also think that people need to be understanding of that fact everthing someone feels and thinks is relative to them. I used to not understand (as a bigger girl) when my thin friends would say ” I am having a fat day”. I would look at them like they were crazy and proclaim : “your not fat WTH” but it dawned on me that to them on that day maybe they felt less like themselves. This is just an example but the point is you never know what that person has been through thin, heavy and so on. I got into an accident a few summers ago and fractured my back and I had just lost about 40 lbs but i was too scared to do anything physical that I did’nt, I felt sorry for myself and in return I put all the weight back on plus some. Another example, a friend in high school could easily put back 2 boxes of kraft mac and cheese as an after school snack and then eat dinner everyday and never gain a pound on her tall but very thin frame. YOU NEVER KNOW. My point is that we need more love and less hate in this world and if you struggle with low self esteem then you should strive to see yourself in a better light (bc you are beautiful) than to tear others down bc it does NO GOOD. You are just going to effect the daughters of future generations to come. PHEW ok I am done.
yes, yes, yes!
“I also think that people need to be understanding of that fact everything someone feels and thinks is relative to them.”
Exactly. I used to be overweight, but have changed my lifestyle for the better. I never understood how ‘skinny’ girls could dislike their body. It is so true though, everyone sees themselves in the harshest of lights, and even though I am 100% of envious of my friend’s body and extremely high metabolism, I have no idea what goes through her head or what it is like to be in her shoes.
I agree with you Sarah, people can be insecure about their body no matter what body type it is. It is absolutely something that people should be aware of and realize that their comments and actions can be hurtful. Thank you for speaking out!
Sarah, thank you for sharing. This is my story as well – and the hurtful things that were said as I was growing up are still very vivid in my memory today. I almost laughed about dancing around in the shower because my grandpa used to say that to me also. I distinctly remember a girl on my cheer team telling me that I was too skinny and it was gross – that no guy would ever find me attractive. Or being told to put my shirt on over my swimsuit because my skinniness was “sickening”. Very hurtful things.
Unfortunately, I don’t think this ever really stops. I recently had a baby and now when I go to the store or anywhere people will look me up and down, look at my baby, look back at me and make a comment like “its disgusting you are so skinny after just having a baby how old is he anyway?”
I’ve learned to live with this kind of thing. I think people really don’t realize that their comments are so cruel. I’m confident in my health – eating and working out and I’m confident that although I don’t look like the cover of a magazine or some curvacious babe ( 🙂 ) that I’m beautiful because I look the way I was intended to look – and that’s all I can expect of myself.
Sarah, I actually wrote something similar on my blog last week as a follow up to this post.
http://hungryhealthyhappy.wordpress.com/2011/09/02/controversy/
Obviously, I 100% agree with you. It is NEVER ok to comment on someone else’s size–unless it’s a compliment! People need to be more sensitive all around. I’m glad that Julie posted this. Awareness is always good! 😀
I’m really glad that you posted this story from another viewpoint. It was really eye opening.
As one of those curvy girls (all booty and no boobs like you Julie!) I too always envy those naturally thin women. But sheesh! I would hope I’d never put anyone down for that! I really think that insulting anything about a person’s appearance is just low.
So true! Many woman have done the same to me that I am curvy (big boobs and butt along with the thighs) and have a great body, but once I got real lean and all, my family and some friends would think I was too skinny. My Aunt suffered very badly from anorexia for many, many years and the family often compared me to that saying that, “I do not want to end up like my Aunt” when in reality, most my body is MUSCLE! I basically said, enough. If you have nothing nice to say about all my hard work than I do not want to hear it. Period. They shut up, but it is sad that it got to that point, I mean seriously. I work out 3-4 times a week, with obviously muscle, but I am too skinny…HAHA now I laugh because really people have NO idea.
Its simple. Don’t judge and like all our mothers taught us all those years, “if you have nothing nice to say than don’t say anything at all.”
Thanks Julie for posting this and Sarah for sharing! I’ve been on the thinner side my whole life (just crossed into “normal” territory, whatever that means) and constantly dealt with people calling me things like skinny bitch, crackhead (I mean really?), anorexic and all kinds of other rude things. I would never tell an overweight friend or anyone else for that matter that I thought she was “fat” so why would it be okay for them to criticize my body? It’s something I never understood.
When I got to college, I would eat when I was hungry because I don’t eat just to eat, and people would tell me that they never see me eat, no wonder I’m so thin, and all kinds of nonsense. I don’t think anyone should have to prove that they eat just because of their natural body size.
Anyway, I just think women need to be nicer to each other and take the time to recognize what they might be feeling instead of taking it out on others. And you never know how those inconsiderate comments might affect someone. We should spend more time complimenting and encouraging each other instead of tearing people down.
I used to be overweight and now I’m very thin so I’ve been on both sides. I think there are two reasons why people tease skinny girls:
1: they’re jealous. Not necessarily because they want to be skinny, but because they wish their body was “the ideal” and by putting skinny women down, they think it makes it less acceptable to be really skinny and more acceptable to be overweight. Everyone wants to be the norm. And then there’s that dream, to be able to eat whatever you want and not gain a pound.
2: They think it’s a compliment. They want people to say that stuff to them. And quite honestly, sometimes it feels good when people say that stuff to me. I’d much rather be called a twig than “thigh master” <– by my fifth grade peers in the worst possible way
Of course these reasons don't excuse the behavior. I'm a firm believer in if you don't have something nice to say…
Honestly, I was a little shocked when I read the comments last week by how many people were willing to compare skinny women to “boys” etc. I have many female friends whose body types vary, and I think they’re all beautiful. I have a girlfriend who is 5’3 and weighs under 100 lbs, and the guys she’s dated hardly seem to mind. I have a friend who is much taller and curvier, and the guys she’s dated hardly seem the mind. The point is that attraction is based on so many things. Physical appearance is one of them, yes, but attraction is also based on how you think, how you move, how you talk and the list goes on and on.
I think self acceptance is extremely important, as long as an acceptance and appreciation for others comes with it.
Attraction depends on so many things.
No matter what, I have to think that there’s someone out there who “prefers” every single body type imaginable. And even though “that person” may not be “the majority of the UK men polled” , there’s someone out there who thinks you look like the most gorgeous thing to grace this good earth.
*Disregard the last paragraph of my comment. Not sure how that popped up?
Thanks for sharing, this is a great post! Why do people always have to judge others, it seems we live in a standardized society where everyone must be perfect and look perfect. Enough!
Bravo! Can I nominate this post for your 3 year anniversary “Bests Of”? That is unless you get preggers or something…
One thing that I can weigh in on (no pun intended) is the harsh assumption that based on body weight alone, that person is purposely putting themselves through a certain regimen in order to achieve their physique. And it goes both weighs: overweight and underweight.
A person with added pounds to their frame doesn’t necessarily mean they are always overeating and consuming non-nutritious foods. If there is anything I’ve learned from the blog world, is there are plently of women who would be considered “overweight” per the BMI scale (25-29.5kg/m2) who post their meal intake and workouts and are completely healthy.
The equally goes for women who are naturally thin. Having an underweight BMI (<18.5kg/m2) does not always mean that person is suffering from anorexia nervosa and severely cutting their caloric intake and obsessively exercising in order to achieve their thinness. A perfect example would be Chocolate Covered Katie’s blog.
That’s the BEAUTY of us all being different with different sizes and shapes. Sometimes its just genetics. Sometimes it is more serious issue of women self inflicting disordered eating upon themselves. Many healthy weight or overweight women can also be victims of eating disorders (ie bulimia). The bottom line is – you never know.
This is my first time posting a comment, I’ve been reading your blog for a couple of months. I just wanted to say that I’m shocked by the nasty comments (even though there are just a few) directed at you personally and your body. I think its a lot easier for people to hide behind internet anonymity and say cruel and catty things than saying it in real life. Just wanted to say that I think its ridiculous that you have to keep making posts defending yourself (I don’t post everything I eat, I didn’t say I was curvy all over, etc etc) and people are just silly! That said, I always appreciate how open and honest you are, and I am really sorry that anyone would see the need to attack such a nice person. You are a lovely, healthy individual who deserves respect just like any other woman and don’t let the negativity get you down because you have so many readers supporting you! I love reading your blog 🙂
This was such a great post! From someone who was overweight growing up and through sophomore year of college- words hurt, plain and simple. That sticks and stones saying is crap!
As someone who has also lost weight and is now in the higher end of a healthy bmi, I think it’s hard to see a naturally thin woman and not be jealous. I’ve struggled with my weight all my life, and to see someone who, in my mind, doesn’t have that struggle is hard. I have to be super careful of what I eat, and work out all the time, just to TRY to maintain.
What I’ve come to realize is that even if in my mind that person isn’t struggling with their weight or shape, they may be. Like others have said, insecurities come from every height, weight and shape; I don’t know what that person has gone through, or how they feel about themselves.
I think bringing awareness to this topic is awesome, and thanks for sharing Julie and Sara!
When I lost a lot of weight in college (putting me in a healthy BMI range), people would say HORRIBLE things to me, like, ” are you eating” and ” you’re too tiny now” and “ok this is enough weight, don’t lose anymore” and judgements left and right about my body.
It was the worst! Of course, some of these comments might have been aimed at being complimentary, but I wanted to shout, “Please stop making comments about my body! I don’t make comments about yours!” Ugh! It really goes both ways
my favorite way to eat whole grains is in cereal… yummm 😉
Julie I think this goes along with your post about co workers, family, friends nagging you about making healthy choices and saying, come on just have a piece of cake (or cookie, or other office goody).
But those same people will totally judge you on your green smoothies or fruit and granola, etc.
It is so annoying…
and then they will laugh because you had cake. or say “what are you eating?? don’t you know that’s not a vegetable?”
i have always been teased for my weight- because i was obese! since ive lost weight it has subsided, but i will never forget the hurt and pain that i still carry with me. I am in a Christian family that always taught that God looks at the inside and not the outside. If only as humans we were that way! The rest of my sisters are thin, and i was and am still jealous. But they never turn down a piece of cake 🙂 I too suffered mostly good natured jokes about my weight from my family. That hurt me the most! All of us have insecurities- what we need is someone to tell us that we are beautifully and wonderfully made, just the way we are.
As someone with a former ED, who has been skinnier and curvier- thank you for the story! I feel that you should never judge people based on weight and shame them. I’ve never received rude comments, but I often feel that people are critical of my size. For those who are skinny, they may eat all the time but are labeled as “anorexic”… I’m normally thin with curves, but at the moment have mysteriously gained weight. I think it has given me insight into the problems many women face. I try not to mention weight and size, whether mine or someone elses. Usually that kind of conversation is deprecating.
Having been (naturally) very thin until I was about 17, I did get some negativity. On the whole though my experience was actually the opposite to what Sarah experienced (this isn’t to say that her and others don’t get terribly rude and hurtful comments on their weight, just my own experience and thoughts). However, this wasn’t really a positive thing, as I began to feel purely defined in terms of my thinness.
Pretty much the only thing that I was ever complimented on from the age of 12 was how ‘lovely and thin’ or ‘perfect’ my body was. The fact that I was the top of most classes, was a good friend and daughter (most of the time!), or anything else, was never reinforced as being as much as an ‘achievement’ as being thin. Within my friendship groups, others were labeled the prettiest, most popular, I was always the ‘thinnest one’, and although I got some mean comments, more were about how they wished they were the same size as me. As someone who already has low self esteem and self worth I held on to this, feeling like it must be the only thing that made me special and became a huge part in how I defined myself. Whilst I never had a full blown ED I definitely had ‘disordered eating’ and body image issues, which I feel was largely caused by this (obviously there were other reasons too). Even now, whilst I am not as thin as I used to be, my BMI is still sub 18, I always get quite damaging comments like (quoting) “You have a great body – you’re skinny but would look bad if you were any heavier”. I am small framed, and I understand they think they are complimenting me, but seriously – way to make me paranoid about ever being in the ‘healthy’ weight category!!
I feel like much of society is obsessed with thinness and now idealises being thin as almost the greatest thing ever a woman can achieve, which is pretty screwed up. Although, I appreciate there is as schizophrenic attitude towards thinness, where the same gossip magazines that portray thin as ideal also ridicule thin celebrities, and the same in everyday life (as Sarah experienced). I just hate how comments about weight and size are so much the focal point of our day to day lives.
I think this was a great post to read and definitely sheds some much needed light, not only for discriminating about being skinny or overweight, but simply discriminating each other based on what we look like.
It’s a sad reality that our society puts SO much emphasis on what we look like and what we SHOULD look like, when in the end, does it REALLY matter? I mean, when you look back on your life, do you want to remember all of those times you were envious on what others looked like? I would much rather remember my experiences and relationships.
I think that by talking about it more though, we can definitely get past it and move towards being a more compassionate society….baby steps!
This was so great! I’m sure this has happened to many healthy living bloggers when someone does this and thinks it is okay. It is hurtful and obnoxious. Most friends would NEVER point out that the other is curvy but the curvy friend will often point out that the other is “so skinny”. I’ve found that co-workers used to say oh my goodness you are so tiny, etc. until they see me eat lunch. I eat A LOT. I workout/run A LOT. They get it now.
It’s all about perspective. We’ve all lived different lives, which in my opinion makes us wonderfully unique. We as humans tend to want what we don’t have, whether more curves if we are small or a stick figure for us curvy girls…bottom line we need to love ourselves, each other, be healthy in whatever body we have and mind our own business. Before commenting on someone’s size/intellect/talent etc think of how it would feel if someone made a degrading/snarky comment to you for whatever reason. People are mean, and the meanest ones are usually the ones that need the most hugs!
I’m so glad you posted this… Two of my best friends from high school are twins and are naturally super slim, and they can eat literally ANYTHING they want (which I’ve always envied them for!). I think they have beautiful figures but it’s happened on multiple occasions when I’ve been with them that someone has come up to one of them (perfect strangers) and said something like ‘eat a burger’ or the worst I ever heard, ‘anorexia isn’t attractive, love’. That one ended with my friend being in floods of tears and me having a huge argument with the guy that came up to her to say that.
For some reason people think it’s okay to say that to slim people when they would never dream of telling an overweight person to eat a salad, I guess because of societal standards? Either way it can be massively hurtful for people to comment on someone’s weight so thanks for pointing out the other side of it!
I certainly agree that nobody should be ridiculed for whatever size they are or food choices they make.
However I think there is a difference between an attack and stating a personal preference and having that taken as an attack.
“Girls with small boobs look like boys.” is an attack.
“I generally find girls with wide hips and plump breasts to be more attractive than other body types.” is a personal preference.
Don’t confuse them.
Some people will think your abs are unattractive. Some people will think they are the pinnacle of sexy. Same goes for big butts, small breasts, brown hair and every other physical trait you can think of.
Oh well!
It’s just their preference!
Focus on your health, what you want your body to be and don’t worry about trying to be every single person’s ideal of hottness.
I don’t think that you were being malicious in intent with your survey post. I’ve been teased for my weight, over and under; both made me cry. I’ve had someone in my life (close cousin) who could never put on weight and is currently a model because of it. She’s just a beautiful as I am, even though I have to work out to keep a healthy figure. Some people will always be cruel, even if it’s unintentional.
Remember when ‘retard’ was not a dirty word? Me either, but you just have to show them that their words have consequences. Never say anything that you wouldn’t say to your grandmother (if she’s nice. If not, use mine.) to a complete stranger. You never know what they’re going through and you may set them on a spiral with your offhand, “Wow, you’re basically a bobblehead” comment. (One I received and couldn’t believe.)
Julie, way to go with post. Sarah, I’m glad you said something that got J’s attention enough for a follow up post. The negativity goes both ways, ftl. =/
Thanks sarah and julie youre awesome. I’m thin and small, and I get really annoyed and self-conscious when people, especially other women, are always saying things against skinny women. How it’s bad to have small breasts and hips and we look like boys and no one would find us sexi, etc. like we’re not real women (the whole ‘real women have curves – yes they do, but real women also can NOT have curves too). I always feel not sexy and very awkward. I’m small as well, and often have to get kids clothes and shoes, and wear padded bras just to try and look like everyone else, and to make the fronts of shirts and dresses fit. Also, I find that anyone, coworkers, nail ladies, waiters, strangers, take it upon themselves to comment on my eating habits, either assuming I never eat (oh, I’m not good like YOU), or saying I cant eat something because I wont be skinny anymore (oh youre eating a muffin – be careful, you’re so thin, you don’t eat those!! Um yes I do!!). So rude! People also routinely ask me my weight. No one asks bigger people THEIR weight! I agree that people DO make fun of fat people as well, but its still considered taboo, whereas making fun of people for being skinny is a free for all. I do eat, I eat plenty. I work out, I’m healthy. So yay for healthy people of ALL sizes.
I feel like the moral of this whole story is that we would could all really use to keep our opinions of other people’s figures to ourselves. For one thing, I think most people are pretty aware of what their body type is–I doubt anyone realized their body type for the first time after hearing it from someone else. For another thing, I also think everyone, regardless of how they act or what they say, is in some way insecure about their body. Unless you’re speaking the truth in love (“Wow, I know that you’ve been working really hard for the past six months to lose weight in order to get healthy, and I can see that your work is paying off! I’m proud of you for sticking with your plan” etc. etc.), there’s really no good way to talk about someone else’s body, as far as I’ve experienced. I never liked the “You’re so skinny, Bethany,” comments I would get sometimes in high school. I never agreed with it, so comments like that would just frustrate me. I don’t really think it’s anyone’s place to comment openly about someone else’s body unless it’s absolutely necessary.
I love this post and I’m so happy you spoke out on this overlooked issue. I have always been naturally thin, but recently I have become even more so after I have started paying more attention to what I eat. Strokes, high blood pressure, and all sorts of other diseases and conditions run in my family and I have taken it upon myself to try to get an early start in hopes of preventing myself from this same unfortunate fate. I eat a lot of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and other heart healthy foods. Again, I want to make it clear – I eat for my HEALTH, not to lose weight. However, because I eat healthy, people make a lot of assumptions that I am on a “diet” or have an eating disorder. With heart disease as common as it is today, I don’t understand why people look at me like I have two heads when I say that I try to eat healthy. Now, this is not to say that I don’t splurge – I by no means restrict myself or deny my body foods that I love. I just try to make sure that I am also feeding my body the proper fuel that it needs to grow and be healthy.
Very often, I receive hurtful comments about my weight. People will tell me to go eat something or question what I eat. As a result, I always feel like I have to prove myself when I’m with others. My eating patterns are not your typical 3 meal eating patterns – I eat smaller portions, but I am pretty much CONSTANTLY eating. I have found that this is what works best for my body and keeps everything in order. However, whenever I’m with other people I tend to overeat and eat more than my body can tolerate just to prove to others that YES, I EAT. The result is that I almost always end up with a massive stomach ache.
I know that I should not let peoples’ comments affect me this way but it’s hard to continuously ignore them. Everyone’s eating patterns are different and just because someone eats differently than you DOES NOT mean that they have some sort of eating disorder. People should not only stop saying hurtful things to others but should also stop making assumptions based on peoples’ weights or eating habits. Just because someone is thin does not mean that they are secure enough with their body to be unaffected by malicious comments. Everyone is human and deserves to be treated that way, no matter what their size.
Thank you Julie and Sarah for sharing your thoughts on this issue and starting this discussion!
I totally agree with you on this! I always feel as if I have to prove that I indulge but indulging too much. I try not to let other people’s comments bother me, but I guess that’s how I handle it because it starts getting old after awhile when people are like come on eat a piece of cake, eat this eat that. It’s like okay, I indulge but I balance it out. Leave me alone,haha. 🙂
I cannot tell you how much I relate to this story. As a ruler-shaped, size 0 girl, I often feel like the term “real woman” doesn’t apply to me according to today’s media/cultural standards. It’s disheartening and, as I’ve matured and become surrounded more often by full-figured women my age, makes me feel increasingly self conscious. Thank you for this post!
I commend you both – – Julie and Sarah – – for this phenomenal discussion. Brave, kind, and wise.
I also LOL’d at the “dance around the shower” comment – love the grandpas. And when I read this post and ALL of its comments, I think of when my own grandpa used to tell me, “Sweetie, don’t judge until you have walked a mile in someone else’s moccasins.”
True words. Kudos to Julie and Sarah and to everyone who weighed in on this with a fresh dose of insight into why we should never wish to break the human spirit. Even inadvertently.
Great post…Great discussion…I get comments alot about my large hips and I always think “wow” did they just state the obvious for me or for them. I’m 42 years old I think I know how wide my hips are by now…