I had low expectations for sleep after Ryder was born. L-O-W. Chase was never a good sleeper and, couple that with the fact that his small 5 pound 10 ounce size had us following doctor’s orders and setting alarms to wake him up every 2 hours to feed all throughout the day and night, sleep was pretty horrible for months and months after Chase was born.
We had little glimmers of hope here and there with a few weeks of good sleep peppered in but eventually I just threw in the towel and embraced the fact that Chase was going to be up in the night. I truly wouldn’t say he officially slept through the night consistently until we weaned and I stopped nursing him at 15 months.
For those who might be in a similar boat with a child over one year old, there IS hope! Chase is a great sleeper now and rarely wakes in the night. So everything I read about how important it is to establish consistent, long stretches of uninterrupted sleep for infants now makes me think — yeah, that’s probably fabulous and admittedly preferred, but if it’s not working for you or your baby, it will be okay. Your child won’t be ruined forever.
With Ryder, things instantly felt different. He was bigger at birth — 7 pounds, 7 ounces — and in general just seemed to be a better sleeper and a more laid back baby. Almost immediately, we had longer stretches of sleep and I’d find myself awake in the night starring at him shocked that he wasn’t awake because I was anticipating consistent nighttime feeds for months on end.
By the time he was 2-3 months old, Ryder was often waking only one time in the night to nurse and I was thanking my lucky stars for a “good sleeper.” I thought we lucked out and would coast through dropping his one remaining nighttime feed when the time was right.
And then the four month sleep regression hit. And it hit us HARD.
Seemingly overnight, Ryder was up at least three, often four, times a night. At first I thought it was just a fluke but then weeks passed by and I was still feeding him on demand and nursing him every 2-3 hours at night. It was BRUTAL and after two months of this, something needed to change. My mom instincts told me he was more than capable of longer stretches of sleep because we’d seen him do it before. He was growing and gaining weight but his new middle-of-the-night snacks meant that his daytime feeds were becoming much shorter and snack-like, too. I felt like for both his sake and my sanity, we needed to work to getting him back to longer stretches of sleep. Sleep training happened for us after the 4 month sleep regression. Here are some methods we tried.
The Gentle Cry-It-Out Method
This time, unlike with Chase, I didn’t read a bazillion sleep books that made me feel horrible about my baby. I had a general idea of what I wanted to do with Ryder when it came to sleep training. I didn’t fear letting him cry in his crib a bit but I also didn’t want to let him wail in his crib for hours on end. Then, during a media visit to Great Wolf Lodge, I met Lexi from the blog Glitter, Inc. She was so bubbly and friendly and I found myself spending a little too much time on her blog after we met because it was gorgeous and her upbeat personality was evident in her posts. And that’s when I stumbled upon her post about the Gentle Cry-It-Out Method. It was a method she learned about after a phone call consultation with her husband’s friend — a neurologist who specializes in pediatric sleep — and it sounded PERFECT!
A quick note: In Lexi’s blog post about the Gentle Cry-It-Out Method, she mentions implementing a sleep schedule during the day and then focuses on eliminating nighttime wake-ups. I really only followed the part about eliminating nighttime wake-ups because creating a sleep schedule for Ryder during the day is just a little complicated with Chase in the mix. I hope to establish some kind of a pattern when it comes to Ryder’s daytime naps but right now he’s a pretty good on-the-go napper and I don’t want to mess with that!
Also, if the Gentle Cry-It-Out Method interests you, PLEASE read Lexi’s post. It’s incredibly thorough and I’m only sharing a rough highlight of how we used it in our house in a way that worked for us. Lexi’s post has a lot more information so just consider this my super-short summary of what worked for our 6-month-old and how we applied aspects of the Gentle Cry-It-Out Method to our sleep training experience.
Here’s a brief overview of the way we implemented the Gentle Cry-It-Out Method to eliminate nighttime wake-ups with Ryder:
- Watch for signs of sleepiness. These are very, very obvious with Ryder. Since he’s generally not a fussy baby, when he gets fussy, he’s usually either hungry or sleepy. At the end of the day, it’s both… and it’s time for bed!
- Eliminate all distractions. This means heading up to Ryder’s nursery for a diaper change with the blinds pulled and lights low. I change and nurse Ryder with only the soft glow of the salt lamp in his nursery.
(Note: The blanket you see hanging off the crib was just there for decor purposes when I took pics of Ryder’s nursery before he was born. He sleeps in a crib free of anything other than his Wubbanubs.)
- Put Ryder in his sleep suit. The Magic Merlin Sleepsuit is a lifesaver and it seems to instantly calm Ryder down. I worried it wasn’t going to work for Ryder (it was crucial for sleep for Chase!) but I think that when I initially tried putting Ryder in it, he was a little too young. I waited a month and then tried again and it worked like a charm for transitioning out of the swaddle and calming Ryder before and during sleep. (Note: The sleepsuit is not specifically part of the GCIO method but it is critical for us so I had to include it! They mention swaddling or whatever works for your baby’s sleep.)
- Turn on white noise machine. This is another big-time MUST for Ryder’s sleep. His white noise machine seems to help him relax and, as a bonus, it covers up random household noises that might wake him up in the night (Sadie barking, the heat coming on, etc.).
- Nurse Ryder and put him in his crib drowsy but not fully asleep. Thankfully this wasn’t a big change for us, as I’ve been doing this since Ryder was a teeny baby. I still always try to put him in his crib before he’s completely zonked out.
- Give Ryder a pacifier, gently place my hand on his belly, say “shhhh” over and over again as I walk out the door. Note: When I say “give Ryder a pacifier,” what I really mean is “give Ryder a pacifier and surround him with three more pacifiers” before I walk out the door. Wubbanubs/pacifiers are KEY for Ryder’s self-soothing abilities right now and I want one to be within his reach at all times if possible.
- Follow the Gently Cry-It-Out timeline for checking on Ryder if crying begins. Here’s where the “sleep training” aspect of the Gentle Cry-It-Out method kicks in. See below!
As noted by Lexi in her words, here’s the timeline for checking on baby if implementing the Gentle Cry-It-Out method:
- If baby cries, set an alarm on your phone for 5 minutes and stand and wait just outside of the door. The first few nights, they will, in all likelihood, cry for a full 5 minutes. Let baby cry for a full five minutes. (It will seem much longer, but remember, it’s just 5 minutes.)
- When your phone alarm alerts you that 5 minutes have passed, quietly go into the room, put your hand on baby’s chest, and in a soft soothing voice comfort them. If they use a pacifier, give it to them, and then quietly walk out of the room again.
- Set your alarm for another 5 minutes. When the alarm sounds, and if baby is still crying, go in again and repeat the above. At no point should you pick up the baby, feed the baby, etc. I KNOW it’s hard. The first few nights, I myself stand outside our baby’s door and tear up myself. It’s brutal, and I hate it. But do you know what happens after that second 5-minute interval? Baby falls asleep. Sometimes it takes a third visit. At that point, set your alarm for 10 minutes, and ONLY go in after 10 minutes if baby is still crying.
- Repeat this process for as long as baby cries, extending the time you leave baby alone by about five minutes each time until he or she falls asleep. Repeat the same exact process on the second night, and again on the third.
Our sleep training coincided with transferring Ryder into his crib for the first time. I am not sure whether this is ideal or not, but I wanted to establish Ryder’s crib as a place for sleep and — hopefully — GOOD sleep from day one. We followed all of the above bullet points as we attempted both the crib transfer and sleep training at once.
Here’s a five-day timeline of what the Gentle Cry-It-Out Method looked like for us:
NIGHT ONE
As I anticipated, this was our roughest night by far. I nursed Ryder and put him in his crib drowsy but not asleep. I’ve been doing this from day one with Ryder, so I wasn’t anticipating too much fussiness as he drifted off to sleep. He fell asleep fairly easily but, like clockwork, he woke up crying at 10 p.m. for what would’ve been his first feed of the night. As noted in the Gentle Cry-It-Out method, I let him cry for 5 minutes before going into his room giving him his pacifier, placing my hand on his chest and quietly walking out of his room.
I feel fortunate that Ryder seems to be an “intermittent crier.” I’m not sure if that’s a thing or not but he never really seems to wail and wail non-stop. He’ll often cry but his cries almost always hit a peak and then taper off which makes it a little easier on my mama heart when it comes to staying out of his room when he begins to cry. (Basically when his cries taper off, I am given a little glimmer of hope that they might stop altogether!)
On night one, Ryder woke up at 10 p.m. and needed his pacifier replaced twice before falling back asleep. (I followed the five minute timeline each time before replacing his pacifier.) Ryder woke up again around midnight and that’s when the fun began. We spent the next two hours playing paci-pong, setting timers and going back into his room to replace his pacifier in 5, 10, 15 and 20-minute intervals. I never stayed out of his room for more than 20 minutes but didn’t really need to because eventually he fell asleep. It was almost like he was crying then resting then crying briefly again before sleeping. (Again, he seems to be an “intermittent crier” and never really wails and wails.) Ryder was never crying for long stretches during any of the paci-pong stage but I was awake the whole time and it was pretty hands-on as I set timers and replaced his pacifier at the designated intervals.
After finally falling into a deeper sleep at 2 a.m., Ryder was up again at 4 a.m. for another two rounds of paci-pong and I went in to replace his pacifier twice after five minutes. This happened again at 5:30 a.m. And then he was eventually up for the day.
In the morning, I walked into Ryder’s room to find a smiling, happy baby which was wonderful. (He wasn’t even crying for me to come in… just peacefully playing with his Wubbanub!) Ryder ate like a champ in the morning which was also fantastic since his morning feeds were becoming really short and snack-like prior to sleep training thanks to his middle-of-the-night snack sessions.My breasts were hard as rocks and felt like they were going to explode and I’m pretty sure I was more pumped for our morning nursing session than Ryder!
So, in summary, our first night was a rough night for sure but I felt like I saw small progress after the long round of paci-pong at midnight when he seemed to take his paci and go back to sleep much faster at his 4 a.m. and 5:30 a.m. wake ups. I already believed we were on our way to better sleep!
NIGHT TWO
Night two marked a little bit of progress but began on a rough note. Ryder made it until 11 p.m. before crying — one hour later than the previous night — but spent the next 90 minutes crying on and off as I set timers and went in and out of his room replacing his pacifier at the designated timed intervals. He woke up again around 4 a.m. and I replaced his paci twice but then he didn’t wake up until 7 a.m. when he was ready for his morning feed. Since he already missed one of his usual wake up times, this felt like MAJOR progress and I began to really trust that the Gently Cry-It-Out Method of timed intervals would work for us. I was honestly shocked night two went as well as it did after a pretty intense first night.
NIGHT THREE
Night three looked a lot like night two but the crying time decreased dramatically which felt like another major victory! Ryder was up twice but both times I only needed to replace his pacifier one time before he fell asleep. HUGE progress!
NIGHT FOUR
Night four Ryder woke up a few times and each time he fussed a little bit but fairly quickly found his pacifier and put it back in his mouth himself and went back to sleep almost immediately. On night four, I never had to go into his room and I was pretty darn psyched after this night!
NIGHT FIVE
Night five was a great one. It looked like night four but with even less wake-ups for Ryder. This is the night that I truly felt like I could say Ryder officially “slept through the night” which felt incredible.
What Nighttime Sleep Currently Looks Like Over Here: One Month Later
We’re just under one month into our sleep training experience and I figured a little update about how sleep currently looks might be of interest. Once we implemented the Gentle Cry-It-Out method for nighttime sleep, we seemed to coast through nighttime sleep for a couple of weeks. I was convinced everything would be derailed when we traveled to Florida for Christmas, but Ryder shocked us by sleeping through the night every single night. It was incredible and I was so thankful! And yes, I packed all of his baby sleep essentials — noise machine, sleep suit and FIVE Wubbanubs! I wasn’t taking any chances!
Since then, we’ve had a few rough nights but, for the most part, nighttime sleep is going much, much better. Ryder seems to be able to self-soothe with the help of his pacifier almost every night buuut there have been a few nights where I’ve gone in to nurse Ryder and have picked him up to soothe him because something seemed off. The one major hiccup we’ve had with nighttime sleep occurred last week and seemed to coincide with Ryder’s first tooth coming in.
There have also been two instances where I’ve felt like we had to almost re-train Ryder to sleep and both of these happened the night after I had previously nursed him or picked him up the night before. Clearly he remembers!!! But, the good news is, it usually only takes one semi-rough night for us to get back on track with decent sleep. Phew!
Why I Think This Method Was Successful For Us
I am not over here claiming Ryder’s nighttime sleep will be permanently fantastic from here on out. I know enough by now to know that baby sleep ebbs and flows and can be a rollercoaster. (I was convinced we had Chase mostly “sleep trained” at 6 months and then we had major regression. It is what it is.)
I attribute most of the success we’ve had with this method with Ryder’s age. I knew I needed him to be old enough to replace his pacifier himself before we started sleep training because that’s definitely his preferred method of self-soothing. Without his pacifier, I believe crying would’ve lasted a lot longer and would have been a lot harder for me personally to handle.
(Side note: If you’re looking for a baby monitor with multiple camera compatibility, we are loving our Infant Optics monitor. When I asked for monitor recs on Instagram, the Infant Optics camera was by far the most recommended and we’ve been really happy with it. The monitor cycles through the cameras in Chase’s room and Ryder’s room every 12 seconds and can work with up to four camera.)
Also, I waited until Ryder was nearly six months old to start sleep training for another important reason: I wasn’t personally ready to start sleep training until he was six months old. Could we have started sooner? Probably. I read all the time about kids who consistently sleep through the night much earlier but I wasn’t ready to move Ryder into his crib let alone begin sleep training until he was nearly six months old. I know some people tackle baby sleep much sooner and some much later. Different methods and timelines work for different babies and that’s awesome. Everything related to babies seems to vary so much kid to kid so knowing your child and knowing yourself is key!
And that’s my very long-winded way of catching you guys up on our latest sleep training experience! If you have any questions about something I may have missed or something you’d like me to dive into a little deeper, definitely let me know below!
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This is so my life right now!!! My 6 month old slept 10/11 hour stretches at 2&3 months. Then month 4 was rough, 5 was better but she also got 2 teeth that month. She now wakes every 3/4 hours at night and I’m so ready to go back to longer stretches. (Mostly because she goes right back to sleep but I have soooo much trouble falling back to sleeep. Ugh.) It always seeems that the crying is worse if I go in but don’t pick her up.
And she is a wailer 🙁 Never did I think sleep would be one of the hardest struggles as a parent!!!!
What you said about your little one going right back to sleep is one of the reasons I think it took me a while to sleep train! Ryder would wake up a bunch of times in the night but go right back to sleep so I felt like since he wasn’t up all night we were okay until I realized I was the one who was up all night bc I could never get back to sleep! It’s so tough!
I have a random question. I am a first-time mom and I am wondering how you clean the wubbanub pacifiers they are attached to the stuffed animals. We were given a couple I have not started using them yet as my baby is only a month end it seems to be a little too big for his mouth yet. Thanks
Hi Erica! I place them in a laundry/lingerie bag and then just wash them in the washing machine with a baby-safe/natural detergent!
So glad y’all are sleeping better! We used the Ferber Method with our first which is really similar and worked some well. Baby # 2 is due in May and I keep forgetting all the little steps we have a head of us! Did you drop the middle of the night feed at this time completely too?
I did!! It was basically an everything at once approach that somehow worked! I will say that Ryder’s nighttime feeds were incredibly short and snack-like at this point though. In Lexi’s post, she actually talks specifically about dropping nighttime feeds in more detail but since Ryder’s feeds were so short & seemed more for his soothing than his nourishment at that point, I felt comfortable tackling everything at once.
Good to know!! I use your blog a lot for kid related timeline questions!
It’s refreshing to hear that Chase didn’t sleep through the night until 15 months. I have my 14 month old daughter weened from overnight feedings, but she still needs me to come in once, sometimes twice a night. Hopefully sleeping through the night is our near future!
Thanks for sharing these posts; they’re my favorite to read. 🙂
I’m totally going to check out the gentle cry-it-out method! I’m due with my first baby in February. I know I’m not going to be able to sleep train right away but I’d like to when I start getting ready to go back to work! Thanks!
No sleep training should start until six months!
That is a blanket statement and not fair at all. Parents need to do what is right for their baby and their family.
YAS to the merlin sleepsuit. It worked like a charm for our 1st and now with our 2nd as well. We haven’t had to officially sleep train either of our kids, it’s worked out with both that they just slept so much better as soon as we put them in their cribs in their own rooms. We were definitely spoiled with our first because she slept through the night really quickly. Our 2nd took a bit longer but has been doing pretty well so far. There are still nights that coincide with developmental leaps where he struggles with sleep but counting my blessings that it’s been pretty great for the past few months. I will say i’m super jealous that Ryder is a great on the go sleeper 🙂 We are totally one of those families that now revolves around the nap schedule. Our LO sleeps best in his crib and doesn’t sleep very well on the go which is fun with a toddler in the mix when we are chained to the house for him to get his rest haha.
Anyways, just want to say I love these kinds of posts esp since our LOs are a month apart. Your family is beautiful and you are doing a great job mama!
I have been waiting for this post!! Thank you for sharing!! My 5 month old is up every 2-3 hours now and it’s beyond exhausting! I have been wondering if the magic merlin would be right for us since my little guy rolls over now. Did you teach Ryder how to pick up his paci? My guy just chews on the sides if je does it himself ?
For some reason I think 5 1/2 to 6 months is right around when they are able to replace their pacifier so I bet your guy is right on the cusp! I actually play pacifier games with Ryder where I put his paci right out of his reach so he grabs it himself and then works to put it back in his mouth. It’s a simple little game but he seems to think it’s fun and it also seems to help with that skill!
Gosh, I hope you’re right! I’ll give it a try!
Our son went through such a weird four month sleep regression. It only lasted 5 days (thankfully!) but it was brutal! He would go to sleep in his crib fine but then wake around 11 or 12 and nothing would soothe him. We tried holding him, swaying, bottle, paci, sleeping in our bed (which normally always causes him to fall asleep immediately) and the rock ‘n play swaddled. Nothing worked and he squirmed around like he was in pain. We would get tiny stretches of sleep and then it would happen again. Then after 4 or 5 nights it stopped and he started sleeping again with 1-2 wake ups to eat. I’m glad it happened the week before I went back to work and not the first week I was back at work! He’ll be 5 months tomorrow and is currently getting a dream feed when we go to bed and generally waking on other time around 3 for a bottle. We’ll probably try reducing his nighttime feeds when he’s 6 months to see if we can drop them out. This morning though he pooped and let us know at 3:30 AM he needed a change which is the worst when you have to turn the lights on and undress them at that hour! What time is he going down and waking up each day now?
Chase was exactly like that — where NOTHING would soothe him for hours in the night and it was so, so hard. I’m glad it only lasted a few days for you but YES it is so tough!!! To answer your question about Ryder, right now he’s doing down for the night anytime between 6:30 and 7:30 p.m. and sleeping until somewhere between 6:15 and 7:15 a.m.
Julie, are you just pumping through the night then to maintain your milk supply?
Hi Meghan! I am not currently pumping in the middle of the night but feel fortunate that my supply is still strong. If I ever notice it start to dip, I may do that but right now it’s working fine without a middle-of-the-night pumping session.
We did something very similar with our daughter when she was 8 months old. We waited until she had tubes in her ears (poor girl had 5 double ear infections before tubes) but because of the ear infections she was used to sleeping on us. After she recovered from the tubes and seemed good to go, we implemented this approach. I was comfortable with this and felt it fit our house well. The first night was ROUGH! 45 minutes of crying at bed time and at one wake up, but it got incrementally better each night and she was sleeping through the night after 5 nights. It has been great for both her and I. She needs her sleep and she’s happier and naps better during the day when she sleeps well. She is 15 months old now and we have hit a few bumps, when she started walking or a new tooth comes in. But it’s usually one bad night and back to the normal 10-11 hours of sleep. To me the few tough nights (probably worse on me than on her) were worth it for the sleep for all in our house. I know some disagree but it’s good to hear that others have used this and felt like they did the right thing too!
Did letting Ryder cry affect Chase- did he wake up or have any trouble sleeping when Ryder cried?
Not at all! They are in separate rooms and Chase still has a white noise machine in his room though!
Thank you so much for posting this. I also really appreciate your honesty about not being ready to sleep train. I have a 2 month old and we really have no consistent sleep patterns at this point but I know I’m not emotionally ready to try sleep training. It is hard not to feel guilty about it because I have read a lot about baby sleep. This gives me hope that waiting a little bit longer won’t likely have a negative impact in the long run. I think waiting until she can self-soothe will work much better for me. I will definitely reference this post when the time comes.
To the posters who have little babies – Please do not even think about sleep training until 6 months. Many babies still do need a Middle of the night feed even after 6 months. These posts always make me weary especially when a daily schedule isn’t established during the day first. Both my boys slept through the night at 9.5 months. Yes that is a long time, but they did it and learned on their own when THEY were ready… not when I was ready and tired of waking up. My first woke up 1-9 times a night, my second 1-2 times usually in the early morning. We let babies do other developmental milestones on their own… why do we push so hard on this one? I usually like this blog, but have to speak out against this.
We push hard on this one because lack of sleep affects the whole family. A mom who is sleep deprived is more likely to be depressed and anxious or at the very least impatient. Studies have also shown that at a certain point being sleep deprived is equivalent to being drunk. If a baby is still growing and developing I would presume they are getting enough food during the day and Julie specifically mentioned that Ryder was not particularly hungry when he was waking up. I commend her for taking this step to help his development and taking care of her family and herself.
This was so me. Stressed, anxious, impatient, and depressed. I even put off going on medication to help myself because I was still nursing. When I sought help from a counselor she said 90 percent of my issues were due to lack of sleep. Stephanie, I am 100 percent against anyone putting their babies in their crib and leaving them to cry for hours. But if I had to do it all over again I would try Julie’s gentle method. Everyone deserves a chance to be healthy, happy, and rested. And I say this as someone who has always embraced attachment parenting and whose kids didn’t sleep through the night until 2.5. I barely survived. The mom’s mental health is so so important.
Agree to disagree. It was hard to wake up throughout the 9.5 months. But allowing my children to be developmentally ready and doing it themselves they are now awesome sleepers. And Julie specifically talks about having to retrain chase throughout the next few months and years as things and milestones pop up. This has been the same for both my kids. They did it on their own and in different ways. I supported them throughout their process of growing up… like we should do throughout every milestone. ??♀️ There are studies showing cortisol levels of babies being high and not returning to normal levels for hours after the “crying it out”. I like this blog but crying it out is not for my family. It’s easy for the parents….
I totally hear you! I am not convinced that it would have even worked for my boys if I had ever tried it. It was definitely hard for me at play dates when I felt like every one thought I was crazy for not letting my boys cry. Attachment parenting is sooo hard yet not usually supported either. My boys were pretty good sleepers once they finally slept through the night at 2.5. Ironically, once they were done with the pacifier they both stopped waking up! I think they were used to waking up for the pacifier. Thank goodness for coffee and the phrase “this too shall pass”. 🙂
Amen! Sleep is so important and no one should fault a mom for trying to get a decent night of it. Thank you for saying what you said “A”
About your grandma monitor…can you toggle between cameras or do you have to wait 12 seconds until it switches?
Wow.. not grandma. Dont know how that word ended up there other than its Wednesday but should be Friday.
You can toggle back and forth whenever you want and also let it stay on one camera as well!
Hi Julie! I never let either of my boys cry it out (this method you are sharing definitely sounds like a good one!) My mom is very anti CIO and my mother in law would send me articles about the dangers. Once my second son outgrew the rock n play (which had been amazing!) I couldn’t get him in his crib. He would co sleep at night and I would hold him for naps. After six months he would sleep an hour in his crib (his big brother’s school schedule really messed things up!). Once my older son was in full day school he napped 2 hrs a day in his crib. I nursed for 18 months and never pumped once. I would never ever recommend what I did. Sure, my sons never cried it out. But those six months my son was in my arms and I nursed on demand? I thought I was going to lose my mind. I know what I did was really extreme (I only pumped and nursed my first son six months and then pumped one more month) but I wanted to share because people should not feel bad for needing sleep. I can’t handle stories about babies crying for three hours straight in their cribs but your method is gentle. Ryder is clearly a happy and loved baby. And you need sleep. I completely sacrificed my sanity and health for my baby and it’s not something I would ever recommend. Moms are sooo important.
This was a great post!! We went through the same thing and had a similar experience w sleep training. I’m glad you’re getting better sleep!!
As a mom of two I know it is SO easy and important that the second baby naps on the fly (I also am a work at home mom like you!) BUT I do firmly believe that the structured naptimes during the day help with structured sleep at night. Good sleep = good sleep! Perhaps some of the nighttime struggles can be aided by more restful stretches of naps during the day in his crib. Also I find that it helps SO much with my sanity and work time!!
Sleep training was the best thing we ever did! It’s hard, but SO worth it!!!
We did a very similar method starting at six months with our little guy, but we also took away the pacifier at the same time. He couldn’t figure out how to replace it himself and replacing it multiple times during the night was exhausting. It was a rough few nights, but I’m so glad we did it – one less thing to worry about. He’s now 10.5 months and we’ve had very few issues with sleep since then, but we also have very structured naps because he’s an only child and we can do it. We’ll see how that goes if we have a second :). Love your blog!
Julie…curious about the magi cmerlin Sleepsuit. Just ordered one for my 5 month old because we tried unswaddljng him due to rolling but he just screamed screamed and screamed. I don’t think he is ready and needs a transition, but curious to how much they can move in it?!? Thanks!
We are in loveeee with our Merlin and I truly don’t know how we would’ve transitioned out of the swaddle without it with Chase or Ryder! They can move a decent amount — Ryder has a pretty great range of motion with his arms so he can grab his pacis all around him but something about the cushiness of the suit somehow makes babies feel more secure. I hope it works for your little one!!
White noise is so magical! I never knew the wonders of white noise until having my daughter (a more Chase-like sleeper). Now I’m so used to it, I use it to sleep too! Including bringing it on trips 🙂
Same!!! Ryan and I are addicted to our white noise machine now! We also have to have white noise on all the time when we sleep when we travel, too!
I literally laughed out loud at the blanket disclaimer. Guess you’ve been blogging long enough to know that Someone is going to have to give you their 2 cents if you don’t.
YEP. 🙂
What time do you put Ryder to sleep and do you wait for it to be a certain time before you get him up for the day? I am struggling to get my 8 month old to drop a 3 am nursing session. I am wondering if I need to re-evaluate his daytime routine or bedtime hour…
Oh gosh, what a relief to hear we are not the only family that has had challenges with sleep! Our daughter is 13 months old and still wakes in the night, sometimes once (if we’re lucky), sometimes multiple times. I do still nurse her and have found that she is wanting to nurse even longer than when she was younger, which took me by surprise because I had not heard of this from friends. That’s a whole different story!
We have come to the conclusion that our daughter is likely a very light sleeper, and she may consistently wake in the night for a little while. I will probably miss all of this when she is an adolescent or teenager.
THANK YOU for sharing this post! I have a 3.5 month old baby girl…so basically we are beginning to approach the 4 month sleep regression! When did you formally start sleep training with Ryder?
Thank you for sharing this post! It came at the perfect time. I have a three month old baby boy and I love following along with your adventures of all things baby and parenting. Thank you for always “keeping it real.”
Thank you so much for posting this. I feel like we’ve been dealing off and on with the 4 month sleep regression since 3.5 months – my baby is now 5.5 months and I think we are all more than ready to do some sort of sleep training! Mine also has no issue falling back asleep after either a feeding or just popping his paci back in but getting up 4-6 times a night is taking its toll. Just struggling with which one to choose, but this one seems gentle enough. One question – I’ve heard that dropping nighttime feedings can affect your overall supply, which is another reason I’ve been hesitant to wean from nighttime feedings. I work outside the home and he’s at daycare all day so I don’t have much control over how much he’s eating. Has weaning from nighttime feeds affected your supply at all?
This is my life right now! We have a 7 month old and she was the best sleeper as a newborn… Everyone talks about the lack of sleep when you get a newborn, but that’s nothing on the 4 month sleep regression! She went from waking up just once a night to 3-4 times… just in time for me to head back to work. However, it didn’t bother me too much bc she went right back to sleep after nursing. However, the past 2 weeks, her schedule or lack of due to the holidays really put us through a tizzy… Being back to st. louis, (our home town), we spent nearly 2 weeks going back and forth between both sets of parents and being held to sleep since our rooms were in the basement and the grandparents loved holding her since we don’t live in the same state. The lack of sleep ironically bothers my husband more than I. And of course she got sick soon after returning home, so much more cuddle time with us and now she screams when we just lay her down… she could be asleep when i start to lay her down and the moment she’s almost horizontal, she wakes up and cries. SHe also used to find comfort in a paci, but now gets angry if I offer it to her when she’s crying… where did my perfect baby go? We are moving her to her crib this weekend and I think it’ll be a perfect time to start trying this method. Wish us luck!
Oh my goodness, I feel like our two kids are basically the same! My daughter was an AWFUL sleeper. She was 2 weeks early and only 6 pounds, so I was always so nervous that she was too small. She didn’t sleep through the night until I got pregnant wth baby #2 when she was around 17ish months, but now she’s a rest sleeper. My son is 6 months now, and I thought I hit the sleep jackpot. He basically slept through the night the second we brought him home… until the 4 month sleep regression. We’ve been using a similar “gentle” sleep training with waiting 5 minutes, but I also don’t want to fully night wean from nursing, so I’m constantly giving mixed signals – sometimes I nurse him, and sometimes I don’t – it’s driving the behaviorist in me absolutely crazy! They all sleep eventually, right? (At least that’s what I tell myself when I’m up every 2 hours!)
I’m LITERALLY publishing a post this weekend about our experience recently with merlin’s magic sleep suit after we had a HORRIBLE 4 month sleep regression resulting in 3 nights of bloody murder screaming and no sleep for mom or dad! We’ve been doing a little light sleep training I would say, and so far so good! I’m so glad Ryder is doing well!! Not getting good sleep is NO joke!
Do you keep the salt lamp on at night? I was reading that any type of light stimulates baby and is bad for their sleep.
No we don’t keep it on at night — just for nursing!
Hi Julie,
I’m looking for a new monitor for baby #2 coming next month. The one we have is a hand-me-down & even though we only want to hook up two cameras, it scans and through 4, so half the time ends up being a blank screen w/ essentially dead air (model is older & discontinued). Does yours scan back & forth only between the 2 cameras you have hooked up or do you have dead air too?
Only the two cameras we have hooked up! You can add up to 4 though and it can rotate through all four but if you only have 2 hooked up, it will just rotate through those two or however many you have hooked up/selected. You can also select “view” rather than “scan” and have it show you only one camera which is what we do often if only one of the boys is napping at a time!
When my son hit the 4 month regression we did the Ferber Method which is almost identical. You never let them cry it out more than 5 minutes at first. It worked great! We also transitioned him to his own room too. Such a game changer!
Once they get in their own room it really does make the biggest difference! Phew!!
I’m looking into getting the Merlin for my 8 month old. What do you put under it? I’m afraid he will get too warm. We keep it on 70 in our house.
I just want to comment for readers who don’t feel comfortable letting their baby cry, or for thinking they have to sleep train and baby has to sleep through the night – it’s biologically normal for babies to wake at night.
We, as adults wake at night.
And we, as adults, sometimes need our partner to comfort us after a bad dream.
You’re not spoiling your baby by responding to them.
A ton of studies show the damage sleep training does, so if it doesn’t feel right for you, don’t do it.
My daughter is 19 months, still gets up at night and I I function just fine despite working full time.
I’ve nursed her to sleep for months but she puts herself to sleep now, without any help at all, and that’s because all babies do eventually.
Thanks for sharing this! I have boys around the same age as you (3 1/2 and 4 mo.) I always worry about the little one waking his brother up if I let him crying too long. Did Ryder’s crying affect Chase’s sleep at all?
Drowsy but not sleep is a key I think! I was trying to sleep train with online tips only, and I think I’ve read it all but only when I used the written guide it really worked. It was well-written, step-by-step guide by Susan Urban I remember. I knew it all but hacing it planned made a difference. So if need one I would say: http://www.parental-love.com
Good luck you all!
I loved this guide! It was the easiest thing ever with Susan’s book. Seriously – I was thinking it cannot be THAT easy!
I’ve saved this for weeks to read because I was too stressed to read before.. my eight week old will not sleep unless I hold her. I swore I’d never do that abs never once did with my first. I know I’ll need sleep training help in the coming months and appreciate this. I’ll need to look for more on the putting them down drowsy but awake, even with my first great sleeper I couldn’t do that. Looking forward to reading all the comments. Thank you for sharing.
I am so thankful you posted this!! My soon to be 4 month old is a great night sleeper, but naps have been a mess. We’ve tried every variation of wake times, etc, but we just could not get her to nap consistently well. She either wakes up in the first 30ish minutes, or won’t go to sleep at all unless rocked to a dead sleep. We also have a 2 year old, so that just doesn’t work for us. And I know she is capable of getting herself to sleep because I see her wake up in the night and then suck her fingers to soothe herself back to sleep. She just wasn’t doing it during the day.
I tried this gentle cry it out today. First, when she woke up early from her morning nap. It took 3 rounds of the 5 minute intervals, but she got herself to sleep! And then for her second nap, she started crying as soon as i put her down. This time we just did 2 rounds of soothing and she is now asleep!!
You are so right, in that the crying for those 5 minutes is REALLY hard, and its even harder not to pick her up when i go in there. But seeing the results so fast is very reassuring!!
Hi! First time mom here to a 6 1/2 month old. I just wanted to let you know that if you check out the Wubbanubs FAQ (https://www.wubbanub.com/about-us/faq/) they are meant for 6 months and under. Our kiddo LOVED his but our doctor let us know that the paci attached to the wubbanubs (they are called soothies) are meant for 6 months and under and not meant to handle teeth and can cause potential orthodontia issues in the future! The more traditional flat shaped nipples are great for over 6 months. We transitioned our kiddo over to MAM (https://www.mambaby.com/shop/us_us/pacifiers/6-months.html) and he had no problem with the change up. I actually cut off a few of the nipples from our Wubbanubs and my son just plays with the animal now and love them. <3
We had horrible sleep with my 2 year old when he was a newborn.. This time I’m trying the newborn course from the Peaceful Sleeper. Her and Taking Cara Babies (both on insta) are my go to’s. Hoping to set a better foundation from birth so that we get longer stretches.