Good morning!
Hello from St. Pete! My mom’s birthday flowers are still in full bloom. What a beautiful thing to look at as you eat breakfast, no?
Today’s breakfast included blueberry-topped protein oatmeal (oatmeal prepared normally with a scoop of chocolate protein powder stirred in at the end) served with a side of mixed nuts.
My mom and I came up with a genius idea to combat my pecan rampage through the big jar of mixed nuts yesterday. Apparently pecans are my mom’s favorite nut as well and she happened to have a bag of unsalted pecans in the freezer that we dumped into the mixed nut jar. Now pecans are flowing freely again and they’re nice and salty, just the way I like ‘em.
I actually ended up incorporating a few nuts into my bowl of oats for some added texture and crunch.
And now for a topic I’ve been meaning to address for a while…
Sometimes Healthy Living Means Saying No
I often receive comments and emails from you guys praising me for my healthy attitude and my ability to indulge “whenever I want” without a thought otherwise. This makes me happy in that I feel like living a truly healthy life definitely includes indulgences.
But, on the other hand, I get a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach because I feel like I may be misrepresenting myself and healthy living as a whole.
Don’t get me wrong… I eat foods I love every single day and say yes to dessert if it is offered to me, but I think that sometimes, in the healthy living blogging community, people never want to talk about moments when they said “no” or walked away from indulgent food for fear of people saying that they’re “depriving themselves.”
But the truth is healthy living is saying “no” sometimes.
This morning, as I stared into parents’ pantry, Raisinets and peanut butter M&M’s stared back at me and my body and cravings wanted to eat them for breakfast. Saying no to candy in favor of wholesome oatmeal was a healthier decision and one I was happy I made in the end.
But it’s not something I’d normally blog about.
You better believe I say “yes” when I probably should say “no” quite often. I eat a third slice of birthday cake. I opt for the side of fries instead of fruit sometimes.
But not all the time.
I don’t want to misrepresent myself or healthy living on this blog and just felt the need to clarify that sometimes I do say “no.” If I pass on dessert because I ate half a loaf of bread from the bread basket, that isn’t deprivation. That’s me trying to be a little healthier.
I guess another way to view this thought is that healthy living is saying “yes” on occasion. Not all the time. But sometimes.
Sometimes it’s a good idea to pass on another cookie. Sometimes it’s not. It’s all about daily decisions with the end goal of living a healthy and satisfying life.
I just wanted to make sure you guys don’t think I’m out there saying “Bring it on!” to every indulgent meal that comes my way. That’s simply not true… though some days it is. Hello, cake for dinner!
Question of the Day
- If you’re an active blog reader or blogger, do you think there’s apprehension to talk about moments when you “said no” in the healthy living blog community?
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I am so glad you posted about this. Just this past weekend I was feeling judged by my family, one night we had fajitas and I opted to not use a tortilla because I housed so many chips and salsa pre dinner and the next night we had burgers and I opted for no bun because my mom had also made homemade bread that I ate far too much of. You have to weight your options and if you know you have reached your limit for the day its ok to say no. Knowing when to say yes and no are important for healthy living I think, there are certainly times when I say yes when I should have said no but hey I am only human.
i’ve done that too – opted for bunless pulled pork b/c i knew i’d be going out for ice cream later and i was seriously nervous to post that on the blog b/c i knew the “carb police” would come after me saying “eat the bun” when really i didn’t even want it and just wanted to go big on ice cream 30 min. later!
I really think saying “no” in general is something you learn to do over time. The older I get the more I realize it is okay to say “no” to a dessert at a dinner because I rather have calories that night in wine or something. Basically…it spills over into life too. You cannot say “yes” to every opportunity …it is all about finding your balance. Saying “no” is very liberating once you get the hang of it but you have to have the confidence to say it!
yes yes, i feel like people judge a lot of times when you say you are ‘careful’ about what you eat or ‘give up’ and say no to certain things. especially if you are a runner and work out a lot people say, oh whatever… you can eat whatever you want because you work out or because you are thin. not the case tho, you are like that because you care about what you put into your body! agreed. glad you posted this!
Really great post! I agree that healthy living means sometimes saying yes, but also sometimes saying no! You have to decide which indulgences are going to be “worth it”!
I love your blog and this made me love it even more!
I have just started my own blog recently, and you are sooo right! We never talk about the point in our day when someone offered us a cookie and we turned it down. For one: I think that we possibly fear that it gives a negative vibe to our positive blog atmosphere, and secondly, that is a somewhat “boring” story….I said no to the cookie and then I moved on to the next thing in my day….not much there. I know that we all say everything in moderation, but I recently heard of the 80-20 rule, where 80% of the time we are great healthy eaters, and 20% we indulge a bit…to me, I think it is a great rule to follow…there is a fine line between making it seem like indulgences occur often, and making oneself seem deprived because the blog is only a snapshot of the day…not every single detail……Great post and I am glad you brought that point up! 🙂
I think this is a wonderful and much needed post (postlette?). I do think that there’s an unspoken aversion to talking about the times when we as bloggers *don’t* partake in decadent treats or sweets…mostly because it’s so obvious how much we do love them! But I completely agree with you that it’s something that’s a very real part of my life, at least, every single day. Learning when to say “yes” and when to say “no” is a balance that’s incredibly difficult to find. While I don’t think it has to be the focus of every blog, per se, I do think it helps for us to acknowledge the reality of our lives once in awhile!
I think there is probably just as much apprehension about saying “yes”. Too much of either and someone’s going to judge you no matter what. It’s really hard to genuinely and accurately portray every single decision you make in a day when it comes to food on a blog, even if you’re posting 3 times a day. I understand that when reading and take indulgences or restrictions with a grain of salt when I’m reading because obviously that one decision is only a small part of an entire days worth of decisions.
I started my blog to help me say “no”. It is a way for me to be held accountable for my decisions. I do feel a little pressure not talk about those “no” moments often, because I try to keep my blog positive and upbeat. And I have no problem talking about my weekend indulgences. I never thought about how readers percieve this, and that they may think I don’t say “no”.
Sometimes I feel apprehensive to talk too much about things that I avoid for fear that someone that “follows me” will misinterpret my motives for saying no. It seems that we can’t document each and every thing (and I would never want to) that we eat or do, so without the entire picture of health I fear that some girls may see certain things and make their own conception of me. I guess it’s hard to grasp that what I post could truly influence someone down a certain path…it’s humbling and yet I consider it a duty to make sure that I offer healthy ideas for everyone 🙂 I really enjoyed this question Julie!
Julie–I just started reading your blog but have never even thought to comment (which seems so silly to me now). As a recent grad (with a major in PR) I found myself relating to so many of your posts. I just wanted to let you know that I think you are such a great positive influence in the blog world. Your honesty and genuine personality shines through every post! Thank you for shining light on something we all can relate to, but never gets the attention it deserves. Keep keeping it real! 🙂
thank you deb! i was a PR major, too! 😀
I think this was an awesome post! I don’t blog about healthy living, but I do advocate it and, well, live it, and even I feel that pressure. But the truth is, “every now and then” or “occasionally” is just that, and just because I’m saying no doesn’t mean I always do- and it especially doesn’t mean I’m judging others for saying yes! At the end of the day, I’m in charge of my body, and I like to make decisions that (mostly) keep it healthy. I also like to eat cake 😀
This is such a great post! I have an overly active sweet tooth, and sometimes when I see bloggers post all of their indulgences like it is not big deal, it helps me “justify” mine. Like, “If they are healthy and eat this way, then I can do the same.” The truth is that sometimes I need to scale back and say no to desserts or other treats. It might be more encouraging/helpful to me if we talked more about creating a BALANCE of healthy foods and indulgences, rather than just focusing on what we indulge in. Thanks for bringing this up, Julie!
Great post! I feel conflicted about what I post sometimes. Sometimes I feel the need to be “perfect” online and hesitate about posting indulgences…yet other times, I feel like people will worry if they don’t see that I’m enjoying myself! But then again, I don’t post every meal throughout the day, so I guess it’s difficult for me to find that balance right now. I agree that healthy living is all about finding that balance — sometimes I say ‘bring it on!” to that chocolate-peanut buttery dessert, and other times I say no because I simply can’t put more food in my belly without being sick. One day at a time!
Ah! I totally agree. Even outside of the blogging community – with friends or family, sometimes I feel like I’m being judged for making healthy decisions, and I feel like I should explain that it’s all about balance, and I do splurge a lot, etc. etc. Eventually, I just got over it and decided people could judge me if they want. I know what makes me feel good, at the end of the day. 🙂
I am not a healthy living blogger, but do try to make healthy decisions. Sometimes I do feel a little uncomfortable with healthy living blogs because it sometimes seems like people are robots about healthy living – that they are never tempted to choose the wrong food, always perfect about eating, etc, & makes me wonder why I’m not that way. I so appreciate your honesty 🙂
Great topic!
I certainly feel like there is a fear of talking about the moments you turned food down out of fear of the backlash. It’s difficult posting about the food you eat since it opens you up to a lot of criticism. Everybody has an opinion over what a person should be eating and will judge a lot based on personal appearance (i.e. you’re too skinny! you should have eaten a second piece of cake.)
But I think that healthy living ultimately comes down to balance, so I think it’s important to discuss the times that we say YES! and no. Otherwise, it’s easy to gain the percepetion that a blogger is always depriving or indulging themselves.
I think choosing a balance instead of always feeling you have to go without is a perfect way to look at healthy living. I choose fries over a side salad sometimes too. I think indulging is fine and totally normal.
Thank you for this post! I often struggle with the concept of “cheating”….should it be one meal a week or one day? How much is too much? Either way, I find myself saying “no” quite a bit. Sometimes it REALLY stinks, and sometimes I feel great about myself for doing it. It’s all about living a healthy lifestyle, and I can make that happen with the promise of some ice cream here and there 🙂
Bah! Thank you Julie, for this post! Confession: I started to tear up halfway through reading the comments. It’s SO GOOD to know that we all have the same struggles. And that there are so many people out there who believe in healthy, balanced living. I’m also blown away by all the positive comments and support on your blog. You’ve really created an incredible community of people here and it’s because of honest posts like this one, that address REAL day-to-day issues, like staring down m&ms in the morning (story of my life) and consciously choosing a healthier option. I think I’m rambling, so I’ll just end this comment by say THANK YOU and kudos for being 100% you!
i know, i agree. it’s so wonderful when people all relate to something you’ve been struggling with yourself and support each other. 🙂
Honest question: do you think you would say “No” more often than “Yes” when your indulgences ended up adding the pounds significantly? you are young, have a healthy metabolism and exercise quite a bit so you can afford to indulge in the 3rd piece of birthday cake. But if there would be more “consequences” do you think you would indulge in the same way?
yes, i do think i would try my best to say “no” more often in that case. i know metabolism changes overtime, as will my schedule and exercise regimen, so i am sure my decisions will also need to adjust. if i train for a marathon one day, i may say “yes” more… if my routine slows down, i may try to say “no” more.
Thanks for this post– a lot of this needs to be said!
I definitely have to say no a lot of the time– I think there needs to be a balance between the times you say “yes” and the times you say “no”
This is a GREAT post! When I first started reading healthy living blogs, I would focus more on people’s indulgences, because sometimes it seemed like that made up the majority of their diets. I kind of fell into the trap of thinking that if other people could indulge and maintain a healthy lifestyle, I could, too!
Unfortunately I took it over the top and ate WAY too much sugar for a couple weeks…so it’s great to hear you talk about how sometimes restraint IS necessary! Thanks!
Saying no is the hardest part of being healthy sometimes! When I choose to pass on a food or something that might be considered unhealthy, my friends and family might give me a look or say something like “come on its just a cookie, don’t deprive yourself”…. but little do they know I am actually sayig no because I had two cookies earlier in the day. It is all about finding a balance, but some people like to judge more than understand which can make it hard!
Great post Julie! I completely agree with you on this. I feel like I deal with this all the time. I am not a blogger but I am known as the “healthy one” in my family and group of friends. I always want to prove that I can eat cake, ice cream, and french fries all that I want, because for some reason, its seems easier than to just refuse or go against the grain and explain myself.
Sometimes i would rather have the fruit than the cookie though! (and sometimes its the complete opposite haha). I think the idea of moderation/saying “no” or “yes” to certain foods should be more in the open. I love when I realize that others/bloggers share these similar feelings. Thank you so much for your honesty Julie! I love your blog!!
Thank you for this post. I often feel like certain bloggers who blog about all the desserts and unhealthy foods they eat, while still looking amazing, and misrepresenting what a healthy diet should look like. Most of us can’t eat dessert every day and still be at a healthy weight. I’ve found myself before trying to make excuses for bad choices by saying “well… so and so ate this last night… it’s probably ok”. When really, it’s not, and I know if I eat cookies all the time I will gain weight. I definitely think it’s a good idea to show that it’s ok to indulge sometimes and not deprive ourselves, but healthy diets don’t include lots of processed sugar… even if they also include broccoli.
Julie, I think that (for me) your blog represents how to eat consciously. You don’t NOT think about what you are eating, if that makes sense. For me, that is the key to healthy eating/living… if you are eating that 3rd slice of cake, its because you consciously know that you can, you will work harder at the gym, ect…
Thanks for always being so honest, open and happy 🙂 your blog is a nice break to my day!
As a newbie blogger, I try to post almost everything I eat, which tends to include a lot of things I should say “no” to. As a blog reader, I appreciate that you do indulge and say so! Sometimes I feel like healthy living bloggers are never even confronted with temptation, and therefore never have to think about saying “no.” I love that you keep it real enough to realize that you have the choice to say “yes” or “no.”
I totally agree! Great post. 🙂
I definitely think there’s apprehension for bloggers to say when they made the healthy decision to not indulge. There are a lot of negative commenters out there that would jump on that chance. I don’t think anyone should keep it a secret if they choose not to have cookies after dinner if they had cookies with lunch. That knowledge helps others out there who struggle with making those choices. As a fellow blogger, I think it’s completely fine to tell people when I indulge and when I don’t. It’s about what’s good for me!
I think that most bloggers don’t want to appear too strict with their food so they throw in the attitude of “I eat what my body wants” and sometimes highlight too much about the treats (aka. Fro-yo with a million toppings every second post).
I think they might worry that if they write “I turned down 3 cookies today” it’ll look unhealthy (mindset wise) if that makes sense.
I think with any blog, you have to take it with a grain of salt because the blogger is only showing what they want to show you…
I hope this made sense… with my wedding 8 sleeps away my minds a little busy.
I do actually. I think what bothers me most is how many people feel like it’s such a shock or taboo to say NO to a workout one day, as if a rest day is the plague!
I work out 4x’s wk (at most 5) and sometimes only 3x’s and I am quite healthy. It drives me nuts that people can’t say No in either direction.
i am simply blog reader, but for me personally sharing your “no” situations would be even more interesting, after all this is part of living healthy. Furthermore, it gives me strength and power to say “no” when I am in similar situation and I want to indulge, but I know I shouldn’t do it… so I will be thinking of you – you someone else can say “no”, I can do it too 🙂
Great post!
Definitely true! I think your own body knows when you should say no and knows when you should say yes. Side of fries instead of a salad one day – sure, you deserve a break! M&M’s because your bored – just say no! 😉
Yes I feel there is apprehension to say no…especially since I’ve opened up about my past disordered eating struggles…I feel that if I were to ever say no, people will assume I’m reverting back to my old habits when in reality I’m not…I’m just simply trying to maintain my healthy balanced lifestyle by eating nutritious, wholesome food (which I truly do enjoy!) and a few indulgences here and there…and yes, that means I will sometimes say no or yes 🙂
Great post Julie, and as always, love your honesty 🙂
Just a dessert idea that i LOVE and will subsitute when i am craving ice cream or something chocolate..
Plain greek yogurt with some nutella mixed in… Its not the HEALTHIEST thing you can eat, but it tastes amazing and I dont feel as gulity eating that as i would a bowl of chocolate ice cream.
I really appreciate this post and I think once in a while its good to show that you do have to say “no” to be healthy. Within the past year I lost a lot of weight and unfortunately put some back on and am trying to successfully lose it and keep it off this time & sometimes I feel like after reading all these blogs I’m the only one that has to say no to maintain a healthy and moderate life. Thanks for recognizing this issue and keep up the great work on ur blog, it is without a doubt one of my favs!!
I am more of a fitness/recipe/mom blog, but sometimes I hesitate when I give my son something people decide isn’t right for him to eat. I then remind myself that if I never let him have sweets or the occasional fast food nugget, it would make it that much more appealing and he’d be more likely to rebel in the future.
I think a few years ago, lots of blogs were all about saying “no”, but certain bloggers caught flack for focusing too much on that. Now, I think it is more acceptable to admit when you said “yes” OR “no” to certain things, because it shows that the person behind the blog is real.
As for my blog, I consider anytime I go out to eat and NOT order french fries a huge victory in the “I said ‘no'” department! 🙂
This is a really interesting post. As a new blogger, I find it almost uncomfortable to post ANYTHING I eat because I feel like there is always some degree of scrutiny that goes along with it. I think that people should read blogs through a not-so-serious lens, and realize that what they see on blogs does not reflect what goes on in actual life. If I photograph a salad for lunch and nothing else, don’t assume that’s all I ate! Likewise, if I said I ate 3 slices of pie for dessert, don’t assume I do that every night.
I don’t like when a blogger seems like she indulges all the time because it is simply not true. I see you making healthy choices quite often, but also eating snacks/desserts. Some bloggers tend to talk about how they eat these ridiculously indulgent, rich meals all time and do yoga 1 or 2 days a week and maintain their petite body frame. Yes, this might be true, but it reminds me of celebrities who claim they were just born with the ability to eat crap all day and not work out. Doubt it, in most cases. Anyway, point being, I like you acknowledging that you do exercise, do choose vegetables and fruits and wholesome meals even when that sweet tooth is saying otherwise 🙂
hahaha, before i even read the comments i commented that this reminded me of the “i was born this way” celebrity claim. so irritating! lol 😛
are you a lady gaga fan? 😉
GREAT post Julie. It’s all about the small, every day choices. I think you’re right that the blogging community is worried about people overanalyzing bloggers meals and being quick to call it depravation. It’s not! You nailed it on the head!
haha, this kind of reminds me of opening up US Weekly and reading a quote from some super-thin celebrity saying how much they love to eat cheeseburgers and dessert when they are asked about their fitness routine. it is SO retarded! there’s this weird appeal of being skinny and fit but then denying the reality of what you really do to stay there – creating some sort of magical illusion of yourself, lol! i guess i get it, from a “look-at-me-be-envious-of-me” standpoint, but, staying along the celebrity line, i much prefer the ones that say, hey, yeah, DUH i am restricting myself and pushing myself to the limits with exercise and it’s hard but i need to look the way i do!
obviously, most healthy living blog writers have a much more realistic , happier approach to their diet/fitness routines, body goals and mental attitude.. which i love! 🙂
however, i always like reading 100% honesty – controversial, triggering, whatever. own it.
Great post Julie! Saying “no” is something everyone struggles with in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I find the most helpful way to combat having to “choose” is to plan my meals ahead of time. Then, when an occasion comes up that will include indulgences (going out to dinner, drinks, whatever), I don’t have to feel bad about saying yes!
I think that’s a great point, and it was something I was actually thinking about discussing on my blog, as well. The past couple of weeks, I’ve been posting about birthday cake, lasagna, fish and chips, cupcakes, ice cream… and don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed every morsel of those treats. But because I don’t post every single thing I eat, the readers don’t always see my oatmeal for breakfast, my big salad for lunch… the fact that I try to balance things out. So I think that your post is perfect and very well-received. 🙂
Great post!
Yes!! As a blogger, I often feel similar to you, in the sense that saying “no” doesn’t have to mean deprivation and it IS about making a healthy decision. There are plenty of times when I’ve wanted more of “X, Y, and Z” but I know my limits (well, most of the time).
On the other hand, I agree that it is important to share the fact that we can all indulge every now and then without having to think twice about it. Like you said…sometimes the third piece of cake is just absolutely necessary. 😉
It’s ironic that I read this post after reading a few Eden Eats Everything posts from the past week or two (do you read? it’s awesome).
While some may appreciate your honesty in admitting that sometimes you have cravings that you push away, my personal opinion is that it sends the wrong message. It almost sounded like you were proclaiming your ability to refuse unhealthy foods.
One of the main reasons I love reading your blog is that you never ONCE have written about a meal you ate and then gave the vibe that you felt guilty for eating it. PBF makes it clear that you have a well balanced diet because you eat everything in moderation, listen to your stomach and genuinely enjoy food. It could be dangerous to announce that you sometimes say no to sweets because it could be triggering to readers who look up to you and think they, too, have to say no to a piece of chocolate. You’re getting so many comments from people telling you how proud they are for saying no to food – that is SO NOT the message of your blog and I would hate to see it go that way.
as i was writing this post, sending the “wrong message” definitely crossed my mind. i would never want ANYONE to think i’m encouraging saying “no” all the time or encouraging deprivation, because in no way am i trying to do that. i am just saying that – for me – if i honestly ate whatever i wanted every day w/no regard to healthy choices, i would eat ice cream all day long. i really, sincerely hope that you and other readers don’t think i’m praising the ability to resist indulgent treats because i’m really not. i’m just saying resisting indulgent food from time to time is part of my personal healthy living journey. i didn’t want everyone to think i ate whatever i wanted all day every day and wanted to make sure i wasn’t misrepresenting myself.
I’m glad you wrote this post, but I’m sad that you feel like you have to defend yourself. I understand why your doing it…if you didn’t you would get destroyed in the comments. But sometimes (actually a lot of time) part of being healthy is saying no to dessert, even if you didn’t eat half of a bread basket. With over half of our country overweight or obese, I think we could all afford to say no more often!
The thing is though that we can already tell that you don’t say yes to every single craving for junk food as we don’t see you posting junk food all day haha 😛 . To be honest I didn’t think that you needed to clarify this with your bloggers. No one thinks you over indulge, hence why people are praising you for having such a healthy and [balanced] diet. I agree with Lindsey though. This post didn’t necessarily send over the right vibes. Like she said, one of the main reasons people enjoy your blog is because you aren’t one of those people who claim how guilty they feel after eating something unhealthy that they crave. It’s okay to eat whatever you crave, just as long as that’s not all your going to eat for the rest of the day.
Lindsey, you’re awesome.
I think it can totally go both ways.. I sometimes read blogs where the author seemingly allows any food. Like you eat whatever you want and are just OK with it. And sometimes, I get that angry jealousy feeling – like, SURE, she can eat whateverrr she wants and not gain weight! (even though I know thats not true!)
However, other times I’ll read a blog where the author details all the things he or she CAN’T have and how strong they are for saying NO to those things… and I get annoyed like – yah, we get it, we ALL say no to those things every day and you just gotta do it without complaining!
But see, it can go both ways. I think that a blog like yours and Janetha’s are the perfect balance. I love that you show the little indulgences but I can easily see how you healthily counteract those indulgences with your other food and exercise choices throughout the day.
great post! However, I admire all your healthy choices and I never think you are indulgent. your meal choices are so well-balanced and you take such good care of yourself you deserve a few “indulgent meals!” It’s obvious that you just bring balance in your life. if you were always posting that you only ate healthy stuff..I’d send you some junk food! keep sharing..we love it!
Good post! I admire anyone who makes healthy choices daily!! 🙂 And also includes indulgences without letting guilt get the best of them!
I absolutely agree that being healthy means saying no! You’re right in that it’s not necessarily an act of deprivation, but it’s knowing how to balance indulgences with healthy eating. It’s always a choice and sometimes you have to say no to something unhealthy to keep that balance. As for blogging about it, I think it’s good to be honest but it’s not crucial to talk about with each decision that you make. Sometimes if I have to think hard or really resist something super unhealthy I’ll mention it in my blog, but I usually say why I say no (like, well I had a cupcake 2 hours ago, so shouldn’t eat this brownie, type of thing..)