Good morning!
Hello from St. Pete! My mom’s birthday flowers are still in full bloom. What a beautiful thing to look at as you eat breakfast, no?
Today’s breakfast included blueberry-topped protein oatmeal (oatmeal prepared normally with a scoop of chocolate protein powder stirred in at the end) served with a side of mixed nuts.
My mom and I came up with a genius idea to combat my pecan rampage through the big jar of mixed nuts yesterday. Apparently pecans are my mom’s favorite nut as well and she happened to have a bag of unsalted pecans in the freezer that we dumped into the mixed nut jar. Now pecans are flowing freely again and they’re nice and salty, just the way I like ‘em.
I actually ended up incorporating a few nuts into my bowl of oats for some added texture and crunch.
And now for a topic I’ve been meaning to address for a while…
Sometimes Healthy Living Means Saying No
I often receive comments and emails from you guys praising me for my healthy attitude and my ability to indulge “whenever I want” without a thought otherwise. This makes me happy in that I feel like living a truly healthy life definitely includes indulgences.
But, on the other hand, I get a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach because I feel like I may be misrepresenting myself and healthy living as a whole.
Don’t get me wrong… I eat foods I love every single day and say yes to dessert if it is offered to me, but I think that sometimes, in the healthy living blogging community, people never want to talk about moments when they said “no” or walked away from indulgent food for fear of people saying that they’re “depriving themselves.”
But the truth is healthy living is saying “no” sometimes.
This morning, as I stared into parents’ pantry, Raisinets and peanut butter M&M’s stared back at me and my body and cravings wanted to eat them for breakfast. Saying no to candy in favor of wholesome oatmeal was a healthier decision and one I was happy I made in the end.
But it’s not something I’d normally blog about.
You better believe I say “yes” when I probably should say “no” quite often. I eat a third slice of birthday cake. I opt for the side of fries instead of fruit sometimes.
But not all the time.
I don’t want to misrepresent myself or healthy living on this blog and just felt the need to clarify that sometimes I do say “no.” If I pass on dessert because I ate half a loaf of bread from the bread basket, that isn’t deprivation. That’s me trying to be a little healthier.
I guess another way to view this thought is that healthy living is saying “yes” on occasion. Not all the time. But sometimes.
Sometimes it’s a good idea to pass on another cookie. Sometimes it’s not. It’s all about daily decisions with the end goal of living a healthy and satisfying life.
I just wanted to make sure you guys don’t think I’m out there saying “Bring it on!” to every indulgent meal that comes my way. That’s simply not true… though some days it is. Hello, cake for dinner!
Question of the Day
- If you’re an active blog reader or blogger, do you think there’s apprehension to talk about moments when you “said no” in the healthy living blog community?
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This was a good post. I follow a lot of fitness and health blogs and am often astonished at the level of judgment that readers apply — it’s like they are waiting for the blogger to “trip up!” *shakes head*
I have a complete inability to understand “food judgment” in general. For example, I actually don’t like sweets (I know – shocker!) So when I’m offered something sweet, I often say “no thanks” only to be met with “oh, come on now, you can afford to eat it!”
The healthly living blog world seems to take food judgment to the extremes, which is unfortunate. So thanks for keepin’ it real, Julie!
I think, in general, people scrutinize and criticize healthy living bloggers WAY to much when it comes to their food. It’s pretty ridiculous.
It’s almost like celebrities can never win — they’re perceived as too fat or too thin.
Bloggers, in a similar way, can never win.
If they blog about turning down candy people think they have an eating disorder ….ridiculous.
EXCELLENT topic lady!
Any of my friends can tell you I am pretty weak in the saying “no” category. I’m really good at eating healthy, even when we go out to eat (which is more than it probably should be), but the saying no to that glass of [insert any alcoholic beverage] to sip on or to happy hour with apps is HARD. I love the social part. If I didn’t go I would feel like I was missing out. But only recently have I been still going but sticking to water. I thought at my first my friends would turn up their noses, but instead, I have gotten comments that don’t make me feel so bad about my choices. and guess what? My body feels healthy too! I realized I was having that glass of wine, not because I wanted it, but because I thought it was the right thing to do. Now I feel great sticking to water, and sharing in the company anyway 🙂
You’re just keeping it honest I’d say. I think people who deprive themselves of treats completely are fooling themselves and the rest of the world. I know people like that and then you see them sneaking treats when they think nobody is looking. (therefore all the candy wrappers etc. in their cars) HAHAHA
I think there’s those who say no to everything and those who say yes more frequently. I love how honest you are. Sometimes you want that cake/cookie/candy but you adjust the rest of your based on that indulgence. You definitely help me make better choices!
Hey Julie,
I fully appreciate how you post your daily indulgences and I loved how you ate a bowl of Fruit Loops like it was no big deal. I might add that Fruit Loops are the JAM!
However, I agree that it’s sometimes difficult to talk about the foods that are turned down for fear of being labeled as having an extreme eating disorder! Yes, that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but it’s true.
I think you have a good balance between whole foods and daily indulgences, and I strive to do the same.
All my friend say I have like an iron will because it’s fairly easy for me to say no to sweets if I’ve committed to not having any that particular day. But if I haven’t set any boundaries for myself, forget it. I’ll eat 30 oreos and half a can of frosting. Haha. Unfortunately, my personality lends itself more towards “all or nothing” kind of perspective, but I’m working on mellowing it out. I’m trying to lose a few pounds I gained on the honeymoon, but I ate cake yesterday. 🙂
i too seem to be “all or nothing.” it’s like 5 scoops of ice cream or none!
I was going thru Sadie withdrawal! She looks so cute!
I see where you are coming from, usually you see bloggers on the extremes, either making it completely obvious they restrict themselves “I really wanted the froyo but I knew I had an apple waiting for me at home” or only showing the no boundary side of themselves “I had pizza, then we went out for froyo”
In all honesty, I really see something wrong with the first one, but the second one really isn’t bad. Yea, we don’t want to misrepresent ourselves, I totally get that. This is a really hard subject to cover because some people may start thinking you’re not showing us the real picture of how you eat…but it’s really impossible to show even a little of the “saying no” side of your life without sounding restrictive.
After my rambling, kudos to you for posting this. I get what you’re saying!
What an honest post- thank you.. so refreshing. As both a blog reader and blogger, I def agree with you.. I see a lot of bloggers that seem to try and make themselves look perfect, or even the complete opposite even though you can tell that they’re not actually ONLY eating hummus sandwiches and oats every day, you know? It’s like sometimes those in this community are afraid to just be human, and recognize that hey- sometimes we do want M&Ms and extra cheese and lots of french fries, and have to actively CHOOSE to take the healthy road.
Thanks for the great post. I think saying “no” sometimes is an important part of staying healthy. Not depriving yourself, but making healthy choices (oatmeal instead of M&Ms for breakfast and fruit instead of cake) is important. Your readers also have to remember that you can say “yes” more often than someone like me because you exercise much more. I’m just not strong enough to do some of your workouts (although I am working on getting there).
all about moderation and balance! Great post, thanks for hi-lighting all sides of a healthy lifestyle
I’m still pretty new to your blog, but this is one of my favorite posts from you (you know, besides all the awesome wedding ones! 😉 It came at a perfect time for me too. I think a lot of time people fall into the trap of comparing themselves to others. The problem with that is, you only see what people want you to see. So you are comparing yourself to something that isn’t real. “She’s so pretty” “He’s so successful” but the truth is everyone has strengths and weaknesses and no one gets everything they want. Thanks for reminding us that life is a balance of saying yes and no 🙂
Being perfect is totally overrated, because sustaining that lifestyle can really trigger rebellious stages. I’ve struggled that with my entire life; being diet perfect and losing weight then rebounding and gaining back the weight. Now I have a new perception of healthy living and it’s working much better for me, because like you, I love eating healthy most of the time yet also indulging my cravings without going overboard. Great post!
Thanks for writing that. It’s a good reminder for someone trying to get healthy. I think you hit that right on the nose.
I think being healthy means being balanced, such as passing on dessert if you start your meal with a lot of bread. I think it’s also about planning! If you know you’re going to have a big indulgent dinner, I think it’s good to have a lighter fresher lunch. But at the same time I don’t think anyone should judge anyone else’s eating habits. If someone wants cake for breakfast, it’s not hurting me. I trust that they know what they’re doing with their own body. And who doesn’t want cake for breakfast every now and then?
This is a great post, Julie! I’m an everyday-reader, but rare commenter.
I really appreciate your approach to a healthy lifestyle. I, too, think saying “no” is the hardest part in a way. Whether it’s the fear of being judged for being “so healthy”, being questioned about disordered thinking, or being judged for “contradicting” oneself (indulging and then “resisting”).
I’m trying to find that balance every day, and just not give a shiz what anyone else thinks. If I feel like eating cake for breakfast (and I very well may – it was my bro’s birthday yesterday and I made THE BEST cake EVAR) I’m going to, if I feel like saying “no” to the homemade sweets a colleague brought in, I will.
I think I may begin commenting more 🙂 Thanks for the bomb-ass post.
I think this is a really important point. Health living is about finding a balance in the things you say ‘yes’ to.
In regards to blogging I think its tricky because its much more fun to document the ridiculously delicious ice cream sundae you indulged in than the 3 times you said no to the cookies in the office kitchen during the work day.
Great, great post! We live in a society where it is very easy to judge other people and of course insert their opinion. I am a Dietitian that specializes in disordered eating and am frequently judged by my choices. They are either too healthy or not healthy enough. There is little grey are when people find out what I do for my profession. People also expect me to be pencil thin and I am not. I am at a very healthy weight and find it easy to maintain with balance. For my family I have adopted the policy that we eat well 90% of the time and have fun 10% of the time. My kids are huge fruit and vegetable eaters but also love to bake, plus we get together with friends frequently. We are usually asked to bring dessert (how ironic)! We try to make a fruit based item but sometimes chocolate chip cookies are on the menu and that is okay. It is all about balance. I love the fact that you are honest on your blog and chuckle to myself when you say you had granola for dinner. I truly wonder what some of your readers think about that! Keep doing what you do and enjoy your food!
Thank you for addressing this topic, it’s not something that always comes up. It’s important for people to realize that there are plenty of opportunities in their lives, not just “healthy” people to say either yes or no to indulgences. But isn’t that what makes eating a handful of M&Ms or a slice of cake an indulgence? It’s something you do once and awhile to make it a treat. If you ate whatever you wanted whenever you wanted, it wouldn’t be special and you certainly wouldn’t look forward to it as much as if it were a once or twice a week thing?
I often feel apprehensive about putting the junk food out there that I occasionally eat. I feel like I’ll be judged harshly for those decisions. It’s an interesting line to walk. I think you do a great job of balance and clearly you’re working your booty off each morning at the gym. 🙂
I love your description of healthy eating. Ellyn Satter, an RD, therapist, author and lecturer has a beautiful definition of healthy eating that tremendously helped me to overcome disordered eating. You can read it here: http://www.ellynsatter.com/what-is-normal-eating-i-62.html
I try to demonstrate balance on my blog because that’s how I live. I show some healthy options and some more “fun” options, and I don’t go into too much detail about how much or how little I eat because, honestly, I try very hard to listen to my body. I like women to discover for themselves what balance means to them, and I hope that I can help be a role model for that.
What a great post! Sometimes I actually feel like my blog ends up consisting around indulgences instead of my healthy lifestyle! I mean come on, indulgences are always more fun and great for pictures! lol…but I definitely agree that there are times where you just say “no” and it could be for a number of reasons, but we obviously have to have balance.
Such an important topic. Especially in blogging, but even at work lunches or just out to dinner, people are judgmental about what you eat. But really, no one can judge you unless they know everything. No one knows what you have already eaten that day, that week, or intend to eat later that night.
As long as YOU are being healthy, occasionally indulging, and are happy, that’s all that matters.
Great post, Julie!
I think there is such an emphasis on “balance” in the healthy living community, but people tend to highlight their indulgences rather than the times they say no to something. There seems to be some apprehension about sharing the fact that healthy living does in fact involve being healthy and making smart food/exercise choices not all of the time, but most of the time.
I don’t think you misrepresent yourself at all. I get the vibe that you are good at balance. If anything I think I read a lot of healthy living blogs or tweets and get the impression that I all people say is “no”. On a lot of blogs im waiting for the day that someone admits they indulged…and I don’t see indulging as cheating…i think that everyone is allowed to have a sweet tooth or a salty craving and indulge in it. Like you said its just not doing it ALL the time. But if anything I think there is more of the “what I ate that was healthy” out there over the “look at the fantastic dessert I had” posts. Just as we claim we need to have a balance of good vs unhealthy food we need need to have a balance of the types of posts! Thanks for all the great posting you do!
I’m a new blogger, and this is something I definitely noticed was missing in the blogger community. I’ve touched on the subject in one of my previous posts, but I think it is important for people to realize more that it’s ok to indulge as long as every single meal isn’t an indulgence. Thanks for your honesty!
Well I think you don’t have to put pressure on yourself, nobody’s perfect and your body can speak for itself, I mean, when you want fruit, you’ll have fruit. Of course sometimes you say no, but never forget to say yes, because to me a healthy living is all about balance. Definitely balance, eat according to your hunger and a great variety of food is the secret of a healthy living.
Sometimes I say no because I know I need the energy for my day from eating healthily. Like, if I eat donuts for breakfast I know i’ll feel sluggish and yucky. I love eating good food bc it helps me feel good, but on occasion a little sweetness is oh sooo goooood!
Thanks for the great post Julie! It’s so true. You have to have balance in your food just like you do in life. I hate it when celebrities say, “Oh I eat whatever I want all the time and don’t gain weight”. That is ridiculous and it makes the rest of us feel bad and sets us up for failure.
I think its hard in the blog world whether its healthy living or about baking to get across to readers that not everything on screen is eaten by the blogger herself. However, I personally can tell that if a blogger is thin and in shape that they probably do say no to many tempations. I think this is just like the disclaimer debate, should you need one after certain posts? or should the reader use their judgement. It’s a gray area.
THANK YOU Julie.
I have to be honest, since I started following a few Healthy Living blogs sometimes I get a little down on myself because it seems these skinny/healthy/beautiful women can eat gobs of PB and chocolate and reeses and not gain a pound! I think your blog does a good job overall on showing that if you *spoil* yourself for one meal you’ll make up for it with extra veggies the next 🙂 And feel free to write more about looking into the pantry and being tempted by raisonettes — I think a lot of us can relate!!
Also, you can tell by your workouts that you bust your butt to earn those splurges – keep it up! I tried out your latest treadmill Incline workout Tuesday night and got a nice sweat going after the 30min 🙂
Thanks for sharing this! It is definitely important to say no sometimes so that you can say yes to the even better treats!
I love this post Julie! I think balance and moderation is key…how fun would life be if we could never have any fro yo or a yummy piece of chocolate cake…or even those little mini desserts at Seasons 52 (YUM)? But it’s all in moderation.
I think the point is that you eat healthy MOST of the time, but allow yourself to have those little indulgences here and there. I think your blog does a nice job of showing that you eat healthy most of the time, you exercise regularly, but also indulge which let’s face it is just plain FUN!
This is a great post. I try to make sure that I always show my indulgences, I guess to make sure that I’m showcasing how my hard work has paid off, even with the occasional brownie. But I’ve often had people comment, asking if I’m sure this is a “healthy blog”.
I guess you just can’t win them all.
I read an interview of Gweneth Paltrow that asked her how she looked so good after having kids. Her response? “Because I work my ass off!”. The bottom line is that to be healthy and maintain your figure the way you want it requires choices. The answer doesn’t have to be no all of the time, but it does most of the time.
When I was interning a while back, a lady in the office offered me cake at 9am…9am! I didn’t want to turn it down because I was the new, young, thin intern and I didn’t want to come across the wrong way. But why should I have to feel guilty for turning down cake at nine in the morning just to make other people feel better?? I think that a lot of the “deprivation” accusations are people projecting their insecurities on to others.
I agree with all the positive feedback. I appreciate that you’re a real person, and you have occasional indulgences, but I think it’s important for your readers to know that eating right and exercising takes effort. It’s a conscious decision, and it’s not always easy or comfortable. I think some people might look at you if they think you always just eat whatever you want, and they might think, “Gosh, I eat whatever I want too – why am I 30 lbs overweight?” So it’s encouraging to know that you’re a normal person, and you DO have to say no sometimes, but it’s a balance. Thanks for having the courage to share!
Every week on Thursday some friends of mine get together and have pizza for lunch. I usually pack my lunch because I feel a bit lethargic all afternoon if I eat pizza for lunch. One day, I had been in a hurry when packing my lunch box and I forgot my sandwich, so I ate two slices of pizza. One friend commented, “Wow, Julia, I’ve never seen you give in to unhealthy food before.” I realized when he said that that all he ever sees me eat is healthy packed lunches and doesn’t know that I have ice cream at least once a week and some small treat everyday, or that my fiancee and I have deep dish pizza night once a month. I think this is how food bloggers who don’t blog all meals end up in situations where saying no looks disordered. If you only show the healthy stuff saying no to an indulgent treat looks a little bit nutty, but the people reading your blog don’t know that you had two bowls of coconut ice cream last night.
I’m so glad that you decided to write this post. As a blog reader (not blogger) I definitely see the pressure that is put on bloggers to eat healthfully but not TOO healthfully. There are some readers out there who, when they detect any sign of “deprivation”, attack the blogger for having an eating disorder, being too skinny, etc.
I don’t understand how people can view turning down a second martini or having fruit instead of cake for dessert every now and then as a sign of a serious eating disorder. That is called a healthy choice.
It drives me nuts and sometimes I am ashamed to post a comment as “just” a reader because there are so many readers who have nothing but judgmental things to say and I don’t want to be in the same category as them.
Bloggers put themselves out there every single day and it’s not fair for others to constantly scrutinize you for making healthy, informed choices.
i think i speak for MANY bloggers when i say we LOVE hearing from blog readers just as much as other bloggers. 🙂 thank you for commenting, katherine!
I love your post! As much as I indulge, I do also work hard at maintaining my figure through working out and eating healthily. Today I had actually gone out for lunch and my cousin refused to order dessert if I wouldn’t share. I felt a little guilty and agreed…two minutes later, something clicked inside of me and I told her ‘actually no, I really am not up for dessert so order if you like but I probably won’t have a bite’. On those days where I DO want to indulge, lord knows I will but I also have to be smart about it i.e. indulge when I actually want it as opposed to doing so as a way to please others.
I just want to say that this post brought tears to my eyes. I have been struggling so terribly lately with a new binge/compulsive overeating addiction….and it’s getting really bad. I have been reading “food/healthy living” blogs for about a year now, and I am in constant depression over seeing how amazingly awesome your (and others) figure is and yet you still seem to be able to eat cake, peanut butter and whatever else. I AM NOT SAYING THIS IN A SNOTTY WAY AS TO DISCOUNT YOUR WORKOUT ETHIC!!!! I am just saying that yes, sometimes it is very hard to watch bloggers eat such amazing things, that it almost seems unfair at times that no matter how hard I work out, I can’t seem to find a healthy enough relationship to have “just one”….so yea, I have to say no in order to not go overboard. I guess what I am saying is kudos to you, Julie for thinking of the variety of people who may be reading your blog, and taking in your food choices in comparison to their own. I appreciate you being so honest about actually having to say no sometimes…because reading blogs where everybody is preaching about “never depriving” is sometimes hard when you have opposite issues and are also trying to lose weight, because you need to. So thanks for your honesty.
Thanks for this post! I definitely agree with you. I think a healthy lifestyle is all about balance. Indulging when you want and saying no sometimes in favor of healthier options.
I love this post! You are completely right! A lot people don’t talk about the times when they said no because saying yes is much more interesting and has better pictures! lol! Seriously though, good topic!
this is very interesting! you really do rarely see the “saying no” aspect. just “this is what i ate” and for me, who has a VERY difficult time saying no, wonder if others naturally gravitate towards fruit and veggies over a candy bar or chips…very interesting to know. 🙂
I think ever since the Marie Claire incident there is apprehension to appear as if you are depriving yourself. To me, healthy living is about finding a balance that works for you. As a blogger though, if I’m being honest, there are times where I’ll think, “Oh, maybe I shouldn’t write about that because it doesn’t appear to be healthy living and making a healthy choice.” But most of the time I do because I take pride in being honest and reflective with myself as well as with my readers. If I denied myself indulgences every once in a while, I would not find that healthy. If I indulged constantly, I would not find that healthy. It’s all about balance!
I do think there is, but I think it goes both ways kinda. Like, you get some backlash for vocalizing that you said no because, like you said, people accuse you of “deprivng” yourself. but then sometimes you get backlast from saying yes a lot because then people are like “well, how are an advocate for a healthy lifestyle if you eat cake all the time?” (I’ve heard both!) You just have to know what works for your body and go with no AND yes equally.
I see what you are saying. It’s all about balance. Yes you should indulge and not feel guilty, but at the same time you can’t only be eating junk food. Only eating junk food or depriving yourself are both really unhealthy. It’s okay to have all the treats you desire, as long as you are balancing it with the healthy things you love too. Like eating a whole grain sandwhich with almond butter and banana for lunch and then having a chocolate bar after. The most important thing to do is listen to your body. Does your body really want another salad? Does your body really want a 10th cookie? As long as people actually listen to their bodies and not ignore them then they will truely be living a healthy lifestyle.
What a GREAT topic. I especially related to the statement you made about the fact that saying ‘no’ sometimes ISN’T deprivation… it is an attempt at trying to be healthier and BALANCED. Readers… and people around us in life don’t know what food choices we make and are faced with on a 24/7 basis. Yet inherently, our choices… everyones, are being judged all the time. Not necessarily in a bad way but still judged. Saying ‘no’ in front of someone who said ‘yes’ or visa versa is a pretty dynamic situation indeed and my brain is like mush now at the end of the work day I cannot think deeply into anything. But I DID want to comment! 🙂
I feel its never an issue to say no or turn down food in which you dont feel right about eating at the time. I think it shows amazing self control and will power, and some people would PAY to have that type of physical and mental commitment to health! But there are certain times and certain people (like myself) who take weight loss and control too far) And if your saying no to something excludes others or makes choices for others then yes there is a line that it crosses, but for the most part, as long the the decision is only affecting you and no one else then its fine to say no all the time if you want