Lunch today was fishy and fantastic!
I made myself a tuna salad bagelwich that included:
- 1 can tuna
- Chopped celery
- 1 1/2 tbsp. relish
- 1 1/2 tbsp. light Miracle Whip
- 1/2 tbsp. Dijon mustard
Fresh green pepper slices were the perfect addition to this yummy plate.
Delish!
And now onto a more serious discussion…
The Comparison Trap
By now we’re all well aware that the images we see in magazines or on billboards are often altered, Photoshopped and edited to a great extent.
Check out this video to see just how much editing goes into the images we see every day:
Even though we understand how much images are altered, it’s hard not to idolize these images as “perfection” and strive to mirror this unattainable look.
It can be so hard not to compare ourselves to others… Our friends, family members, actresses, models, another woman simply shopping in the grocery store. Comparisons can occur anywhere.
In my opinion, this is one of the most detrimental things we can do to our self esteem.
It can be so hard not to look at others and wish you had their legs, their hair, their blemish-free skin. But here’s the thing: Those things you lust after are theirs, not yours, and you have a billion other wonderful things to offer. Someone, somewhere is wishing they had something you have… Your health, a loving husband, strength to handle a family crisis, a smile that can light up any room.
Comparisons often cause us to feel bad about ourselves and make us overlook our own wonderful features.
A couple of weeks ago, Lisa posted this question on her blog:
If you were stranded on a deserted island and would never see anybody again, would you want to lose weight?
I thought this question was a great one that will hopefully make people look deeper into why they want to lose weight if they’re constantly dieting. Are you losing the weight for you or for others?
I loved Lisa’s reflections on this question: “I only want to lose weight and have a better body when I’m comparing myself to others. To celebrities, to my friends, to wanting my boyfriend to have a ‘hot’ girlfriend. If I strictly compare myself to me and how I think I look and how I feel in my own body…then I think I’m perfect and don’t need to lose. I only want to lose when I compare MY body with someone else’s perfect body.”
Question of the Afternoon
I challenge you to answer the this question, if not in the comments section, in your own head.
If you were stranded on a deserted island and would never see anybody again, would you want to lose weight?
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Aw thanks for the shout out here.
I think you know my answer 🙂
i loved that post! your blog is the jammmm. 😀
Wow! What a great question to ask yourself! I’m healthy and happy and that’s great! Thank you sooo much for sharing! 🙂
i love that video…really puts things in perspective, right?! i would definitely not care at that point (the desert island thing)…i would just eat to live and enjoy life 🙂
Very cool video.
That video is AWESOME.
I probably wouldn’t care if I were stranded on a dessert island, but I wouldn’t try to gain weight.
what kelly said goes for me too…
I do feel like if i were stranded on a desert island I would have the best chance of survival if I was healthy and in shape… But it would definitely be about survival, not about looks.
Great question! I totally wouldn’t care…for me, it’s always about losing the last 5-10 pounds…and obviously that’s more about looks than health.
I show that video in my freshman English class when we talk about body image!
What a great question!!!!! No, not one bit would I care about my body image. Now, my personal health and well being, yes. So if my overweight was causing my physical health to suffer, then I would only want to loose weight to feel better physically and not for beauty.
That video is amazing, I’ve seen it once before and it really really REALLY needs to be shared, so thank you, Julie. The media and our definition of healthy and attractive is so incredibly distorted these days, it really helps to ask yourself questions as such.
Asking yourself such a question puts things in perspective, of your life and happiness- and happiness in my book always comes first.
Watching my weight would probably be the last thing on my mind if I were on a desert island. Also shaving my legs… that would fall low on the list too!
Yup, I would. I don’t care who sees me, I want to lose weight because I want to feel like I’m being the best person I can be. I want to lose weight so I can run a half marathon. I want to lose weight so I can live to be an old woman who still goes to the gym.
I want to lose it for me – no one else.
Hmm…my answer concerns me. Because my first thought was “Well, yeah! Because there is that slight chance I WILL eventually be found.” And really, if you’re on a desert island, you are pretty much guaranteed to lose weight because there is nothing around to really gorge on. There’s no ice cream in the desert!
But I’m having a “fat day” today, so I’m hoping that my answer on a normal day would be much healthier!
Awesome post! I must say that my answer is a definite “no”. I’d eat to survive and not care what it is. 🙂
It upsets and sickens me that we think we have to look a certain way for others to accept or like us. That we have to be skinny to be successful. Back in the day the successful were the heavy ones because they could AFFORD food! What happened to our society that this has become the norm? Where did we go wrong with becoming obsessed about weight and less concerned about being nice to people or being HAPPY?
All I know is that if I ever have kids, boys or girls, I’m going to teach them the importance of inner beauty because without it, there’s nothing.
Well, I wouldn’t want to lose for vanity’s sake but I have the more dangerous belly fat that can lead to heart issues (and has in most of my family members) so I would want to be as healthy as possible.
I watched E! News for the first time in ages last night and noticed that afterwards I felt really bad about myself. I had to check myself and remember that I am fine just the way I am!
Great post 🙂
wow i just watched some of the other videos at the bottom of the one you posted and WOW. he said that 99.9% of all photos in mags are retouched…the girl went through herself being photoshopped it was strikinking sad howmuch they retouched her body! thank you for posting this video 🙂
I want tuna for lunch!!
That’s a good way to pose a question about body image. My answer? No. But I’m not trying to lose weight as it is right now. I am, however, trying to get into better shape and be more active, but that’s for myself because I feel like for the majority of my life, I’ve been fairly sedentary. I like feeling stronger and having more energy.
Hmmmmm… definitely a question to think about. Would I want to be slim on a deserted island? Yes. Would my motive be beauty? No. When I think of being slim in this instance I think about being fit. Survival would be my motive for being slim on a desert island :).
The video. Wow – nothing at all like the original. I must admit I didn’t realise just how easy it was to entirely change a person’s photo like that.
Did anyone else look at the other related videos on youtube? Check out the one called Extreme (Photoshop) Makeover. One thing that really grabbed my attention was the fact that they made everyone’s eyes lighter!! I have blue eyes but some of the most beautiful eyes that I have seen are brown. I don’t like the way they make us believe that beauty only has certain characteristics. Go the Dove campaign.
This is a great question, and I’m not really sure. I definitely want to be fit and healthy, and I like my body best now that I am slimmer. I wouldn’t want to lose any more weight, but I would definitely want to continue being fit and healthy on that island. The comparison trap is so easy to get sucked into, and I appreciate your calling our attention to it!
Wow, that video was really interesting! Thanks for posting!
I am going to go against the pack here and say yes. I have spent a good long time trying to be in shape and forcing my way of thinking AWAY from wanting to look good, and TOWARDS being healthy. In this 20-25 pound overweight body, I am uncomfortable. I want to be comfortable again, so yes, even on a deserted island I would still try to lose it because I would still be uncomfortable. This may not be a popular answer though.
I totally agree with Rachel, my answer would be exactly the same as hers, I also have this 20-25 overweight body that I’m so uncomfortable with. I used to compare myself with other people but now I compare to myself, I mean, now that I have gain weight due to emocional eating this year, I compare to myself this time last year, I was thin, in my ideal weight, felt light, with more energy, conmfortable in my body so yes, my answer would be YES, I would still want to lose weight in a deserted island
SO true- I loved this post that she did as well. It’s so true. Hard to believe & remind yourself of it sometimes, but if you really take a step back & think about it, what is the point of comparison? It just makes you put yourself down.
Being stranded on a deserted island would allow you to eat pure, healthy foods of the earth and therefore you would be able to eat intuitively. I would also be thankful for the food that allows me to live. I think once you begin to eat food without labels your body finds its healthy weight. I’m embracing what I have because “the grass is always greener” for humans. I love my body because it’s mine:)
I just saw the Dove evolution video yesterday and it was really enlightening. Everyone knows that magazine/billboard photos are retouched, but most people honestly don’t realize the extent. I can honestly say that I didn’t! In my subsequent quest for more information about the subject, I found this great video from diet.com that I found even more revealing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YP31r70_QNM
[To think that 99.9 percent of ALL magazine photos are retouched is insane! My boyfriend alleges that the women in Oxygen magazine, by and large, are not touched up — and I have to scoff. Only in his dreams are women that perfect!!]
It’s very difficult to see what you view to be flaws and accept them, particularly if they’re not “quirky” ones (for instance, I have a crooked smile which I can embrace because it’s cute and unique… however, the persistent bags under my eyes due to heredity are far less so). I think the media makes it an increasingly difficult task by purporting impossible standards of beauty.
I don’t claim to have any tips on how to not constantly be comparing yourself to pictures of Photoshopped women in magazines, I truly am clueless. Try as might, I am guilty of this same behavior on basically a daily basis. The only thing I’ve found that has been at all uplifting is immersing myself in the community of bloggers who represent real yet beautiful women who struggle with the same type of thing. As long as we’ve all got each other for support, I think we’ll be okay.
Great question! I believe I would still want to be healthy and fit even if I was alone on a deserted island… it is not only about my image but the feeling of being active and comfortable in my body 🙂
Love your blog! Just came across it for the first time 🙂
I agree with the majority here, my answer would be “no.” If I were stranded on an island I’d probably have no problem with the 5-10lbs I’m always wanting to lose!
I don’t feel comfortable in my own skin when I carry extra weight. I am most comfortable and happy when I feel the best in my own body, regardless of what situation I am in.
I think the human body is capable of so much more than we make it do.
Great video!
I probably wouldn’t care about my weight if I was on a desert island, nor would I care about my health. What is there for me to live for? Being on a deserted island would SUCK.
Fantastic question 🙂
I think my perspective would shift: I would be more concerned with maintaining my strength simply for straight up functional purposes – internal healthfulness in its purest form – and be able to for once completely forget about the external aspects of healthiness (i.e. looking fit).
Wow, cool video! Hmm, that’s a hard question. I think I wouldn’t care for looks but I certainly would for health because when I am not ‘healthy,’ I just feel blah.
i think this is a very good question/ topic but doesn’t necessarily tell the whole story about the issues people may have around weight. doing it for others is obviously a poor reason/motivation, but also doing it for yourself if you’re too self-critical is also going to be problematic. i think there’s somewhere in between that has to do with being proud of yourself for not just how you look, but how you feel and what you can do. i know that when i weigh my “happy weight” i’m truly that- happy- because i can do everything i want to do (like running) as well as i can do it.
Thanks for sharing the video. My uncle works in photo editing and some projects he has to do are for clothing. He doesn’t choose how to edit it, but receives the picture with notes and lines all over it. I want to ask him about it more and write a post possibly because he has mentioned some things in the past when he’s overheard one of my cousins or aunts complaining about our looks. For example, that little bit of fat between the side of the bra and underarm? It’s standard to always edit that off of models. It’s hard to remember though when you are constantly seeing images like that!!!
Awesome post!
I know I am influenced by the media, my friends, family, etc, but I also want to FEEL good. When I carry extra weight, I don’t feel good. When I overeat, I don’t feel good.
I think I’d focus more on health, being able to survive on an island!
Actually I’d spend my time being terrified of the bugs/animals on the island 🙂
This is a difficult question because if I were stuck on a deserted island and was never going to see another person for the rest of my life I would be too sad about that to actually care about anything else. Who wants to spend the rest of their life alone, regardless of what they look like?
But to play along, I don’t know if I think it’s really about comparison; unfortunately I think it’s about our own self-image. I don’t actually care very much about what other people think of me. The true problem is I’m my own harshest critic.
Maybe my self-image is influenced by images I saw on tv or in magazines while growing up, but I think the damage is done. The image of what I want to look like is in my own head, not in some magazine. So, even if I were alone and never saw anyone every again – I would still have to live with myself day in and day out. And I think, in the end, that is worse than society. In all reality, I don’t walk around thinking that others think I’m fat or gross – I’m the one who’s constantly thinking about me. And I’d be the person on that deserted island…so I’d still have to live up to my own standards.
In the end, I don’t think my first thought would be, “I can eat as much as I want now, since no one is ever going to see me again.” I’d probably continue on the same as I do now – since being around others doesn’t influence my eating habits as much as being around myself does. If that makes any sense.
Nope! I would not care about my weight at all if no one was around. I would care about my overall health and fitness though
For me personally, it’s more about health than weight loss at this point, so yes, I would still want to. But I definitely wouldn’t be as motivated (or want to lose as much) if I were stranded somewhere.
That’s a great question. I wouldn’t want to lose weight, but I wouldn’t want to gain any either (not that that’d be a problem seeing as I imagine food is in short supply on a deserted island). Even another pound will make my knees ache terribly, so weight maintenance is for me about not having even worse chronic pain.
great post! i’ve been dealing with this a lot lately…this really makes me think…
thanks for posting this!
This is SO TRUE. If you were obese on a desert island you’d still probably want to lose, but conversely, I know that if I’d been on an island and knew no one would ever see me again when i had an eating disorder, it would have been WAY easier for me to kick the bad thoughts. This kind mentality is one that’s really taking over my mind recently, and I love it- my body may not be perfect, but neither is life. That doesn’t make it any less wonderful!
I feel like if you were stranded on a dessert island you would go into survival mode, which would make me only eat when I needed it to survive. So I probably would lose weight but not on purpose.
My previous eating disorder and lifelong body image issues stemmed entirely from my own mind. Never in my life has anyone called me anything but thin, skinny, in shape, or another compliment regarding my body. However, in my own mind, I’m never going to look perfect, and I’m always trying to make myself look better 100% FOR myself. Even if I was alone on an island and nobody would see me, my tiny bit of fat around my middle would still bother me, and if I gained a few pounds, I’d still try to lose them. Probably very disordered talking here, but I’m speaking the truth.
I would not want to lose weight. I mean, if you are all alone what is the point? haha It really is true that the comparing yourself to others is what really drives weight loss sometimes. I admit that sometimes I see my slimmer friends and think that I might want to lose weight to try to look like them. But then I remember that I am healthy adn that while they might be thinner, I know how they eat and their activity level and they really are not any healthier than me. Even when you are able to lose weight motivated by others it is not easy to keep off. It is when you do it for yourself that the changes are lasting.
I wouldn’t try to lose weight, but I wouldn’t try to gain either. I would want to be healthy and in shape so that I feel the best that I can 🙂
That video is insane! Thanks for re-posting Lisa’s question. I’ve never thought of it that way before, but it really puts some things into perspective–about how much we let others influence the way we see our own bodies.
I loved that post too! I would say yea for me…but only because I’m pregnant and uncomfortable. And of course this would be losing weight post baby. 😉
Great reflections!
That sandwich looks so good!
I would definitely care about losing weight if I was stuck on a deserted island. The less fat I have the less tasty i look to other animals. Seriously though, I would want to be in shape for survival purposes.
Nope. I don’t want to lose weight now and I wouldn’t want to lose weight then. My desire to lose weight has only been about my health. Almost every medical condition out there, someone in my family has (which really makes it a pain when filling out medical forms!). But my only goal is to live a happy, healthy, and productive life.
So if I was on a deserted island, I wouldn’t care about my weight; I’d just be trying to figure out how to get back to civilization! Unless it was a tropical island. With no bugs. And no scary animals. Then maybe I’d stay 🙂
If I was stranded on a deserted island I doubt I would be fat 🙂
Hmm . . . I don’t think I’d worry about the 5-10 pesky extra pounds, but then again, I might not wear clothes, shower, or do a whole host of things that I do now.