We hoped to receive answers to some unknowns on Friday and unfortunately we are still waiting. While I am not ready to share a lot of details in this space just yet, I do want to fill you guys in a little bit because I am so grateful for your thoughts and prayers.
A little more than a week ago, during Chase’s one year pediatric visit, we had some precautionary blood work done. Though Chase’s pediatrician has always assured us that Chase looks great and is growing well “on his own little curve,” I’ve undoubtedly let myself stress out over his small size since the moment he was born. Chase’s doctor recommended a few additional blood tests during his visit to rule out any major issues.
Early last week, I spoke with a nurse who told me that one of Chase’s blood tests (ironically not related to his small size) came back a little concerning. I’ve felt stressed out and concerned over a myriad of things related to our baby boy since he was born but speaking with the nurse about a concerning blood test was the first time I felt truly scared.
I couldn’t stop the tears and within an hour, we were back at the pediatrician’s office on Tuesday to meet with our doctor and undergo some follow up blood tests.
And that is where we are right now. Waiting.
Waiting and praying and believing in the good.
Friday was a tough day because I was told that we’d likely receive the results from Chase’s follow up blood work “by Friday at the latest.” I obsessively checked my phone and eventually, at 4 p.m., I spoke with a nurse who told me she reached out to the lab who explained that one of Chase’s tests was more involved and results would likely not be available until Monday or Tuesday. While I was disappointed to hear this, I also felt myself exhale as I realized I let myself get in my head and worry about the reasons why it was taking so long to get Chase’s results back.
The waiting is hard. The unknown is harder. But I know in my heart we are waiting on GOOD news. I believe this with all that I am. When I picture the phone call from our pediatrician’s office, I imagine myself receiving only good news.
I am taking my cues from Chase. He is strong, energetic, joyful and happy and I should be too. I look at my baby boy and see what I already know in my heart is true: He is fine. He will be fine.
I just want those darn blood tests to confirm it.
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I am so sorry you are waiting. Waiting is the worst. But God is good and He will work all things for the good.
Oh Julie, your post makes me tear up! As a mama to two young kiddos I know all about worrying! It’s something that is in our nature as mamas and protectors of our babies. I pray for Chase and for you. May God bring you peace and know that he always has a plan. Hugs to you today while you wait….xoxo!
Strength comes from those unknown times, despite how challenging they are!
Sending you lots of love and good juju! Also, if you’re up for some brain food (I always like some distraction to help ease my worries) somewhat related to the subject try checking out Jess Lively’s podcast this week. It was on the topic of not knowing — no where near the level of concern you’re experiencing, but it may help you find some stability while waiting.
http://jesslively.com/knowing/
Thinking of you and sending lots of positive vibes to you, Ryan, and Chase 🙂 For what it’s worth, I can somewhat relate to your anxiety over Chase. Our son was born this year on January 1 extremely prematurely at 24 weeks. He was in the NICU for almost four months before he was able to come home. While he is growing and seemingly thriving so far, we know that he could face some challenges (both developmentally and health-related) ahead due to his prematurity. I try to take one day at a time and remain positive, but it’s scary. So hopeful that you get good news soon!
Ah, mom nerves can drive a person crazy in situations like this. I hope you’re able to breathe a little while you await the news you’re hoping for. Good thoughts to your family!
Sending prayers & positive thoughts your way! The waiting is the hardest part!
I’m so sorry, Julie, and am sending prayers your way. As a parent, it’s the scariest thing in the world to think that there could be something wrong with our babies. It’s so smart of you to be taking your cues from Chase, though! Remember that the evidence in front of you is that you have a healthy, happy little guy.
Julie, Sending big hugs. I can only imagine what you both are going through. As a parent of almost the same age child as Chase, it breaks me heart. I truly hope everything comes back fine and it was a mistake! Fills us in on everything when you are able to. Take time with your family. Even though I know all of us enjoy your blog, we fully understand you need time with your family. Give Chase big kisses from our family, and big hugs from me. Whatever happens, remember, God has a plan for all of us.
Praying for your sweet family! I have followed your blog for years, and have enjoyed watching you as a mom. Sweet Chase always is so joyful, as are you. Thanks for letting your followers be a part of this journey with you!!
Hugs to you!!
Sending you and your whole family an abundance of thoughts and prayers for peace, patience, and, most importantly, good news, Julie. Lots and lots of love from Chicago <3 <3 <3
God is bigger and he has you and your family in the palm of His hand. Sending prayers and hugs!!
sending love and positive energy your way, truly.
I love your honesty here and as a fellow mama bear it breaks my heart that you have this weight on your shoulders. We went though a similar scare with our son when he was about 7 months old and it was the most terrifying thing we’ve every experienced. The unknown was the worst..but fortunately, everything worked out and it just brought us all closer and served as a reminder to love and appreciate every moment, even the hard ones.
Prayers for your little family 🙂
Hugs and love to you and your sweet family. Chase is one of the cutest, happiest little boys I’ve seen, and there are a lot of little ones in my life. 🙂 May his smiles and coos soothe your heart while you wait for the news that he is fine, as you know in your heart. <3
Sending positivity, good thoughts, and love to you and your family!
I have chills reading your post. As a mother I can totally relate to the “worry” you speak about. I appreciate your openness and honesty in all areas of your life especially with your little man. I love your positive attitude and the fact you are focusing on what you see….a healthy, thriving Chase. I’ll be thinking of you and your family.
thoughts and prayers julie
Oh my goodness, when I read your post Fri., I didn’t in my wildest dreams imagine it was about Chase! Of course you’re scared to death! You poor thing! Well, I think you are absolutely right to envision positive news, & now that I know specifically who & what to pray for, I will be sending even more prayers your way. So sorry you’re going through this worry & for a whole week! 🙁 XO
Waiting is agony.
My thoughts are with you.
Aw, Julie… I’m another long time reader, rare commenter… but I had to share in the well-wishes for Chase and you guys. It is crazy to me how we are all scattered all over the country (or farther), yet we are all bound together on this day in praying for sweet little Chase. My little guy is three weeks older than him, so I feel like I have shared this journey of new motherhood with you. I’m certain like others that everyone will be just fine!!! I hope you feel the complete love and support that we are all sending your way <3 Praying for positive news soon!
As a new first time mama to a baby boy myself, my heart aches for you Julie! I have read your blog for many years now and I am praying that you and your little family receive the positive news you deserve. You are such a ray of sunshine and such a positive personality who inspires your readers every day. And I know that all of your followers are sending our love your way. Praying for you and Chase!
Sending thoughts and prayers to you, your family and Chase.
Oh Julie 🙁 Sending Chase and your family all the positive thoughts and vibes I can! I can’t even imagine how stressful this must be and the waiting must feel torturous. From one momma to another <>.
thinking only positive things for your little guy and your family!
Julie,
I have followed you for years. I wait to open up pbfingers until I have some quiet time and can enjoy your posts fully. My daughter Gerogia and Chase are only a few months apart and I have loved your motherhood and baby posts as I resonate so with them. My heart dropped and tears welled up while reading this post because as a mom I can not imagine the wait of this. I am praying for you guys and I know and believe it will be GOOD news! Hugs!
Oh Julie, sending love and prayers to you, Ryan, and Chase. You are being so brave and wonderful, believing in the good in the face of what I’m sure is an overwhelmingly scary situation. You are so right to do that- keep looking at your wonderful, loving baby boy and know that he will be okay.
Sending prayers to your family!
Julie, thanks so much for sharing as much as you do. I can’t imagine the scare and anxiety that you must be feeling right now. It’s almost as if living and loving takes on a whole new level when you become a parent. I’m sending prayers and love your way and praying that the results come back with great news! Hang in there!
Praying for your family, Julie.
Thinking of you and praying for you, your family, and Chase!!
Hi Julie,
I am hoping that good news has come through. These little ones bring us so much joy and wreak havoc on the parts of us that worry. You and your family are in my prayers right now. Good juju your way!
Continued prayers for you, Chase, and your family Julie! You have a fantastic support system and we (your blog readers) are all here for you too! Here’s to good news!!
I’m a mom of 2 boys (one born 2 months after Chase) and my heart goes out to you. Sending positive thoughts, energy and prayers your way.
Julie, I know, from personal experience, that the waiting period is hard! Like you said in your post, look at your little boy. He is fine, happy, a growing little boy. This verse helped me during troubling times when my son, Austin, was born. Isaiah 41:13 “For I am the Lord your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear, I will help you”.
A few months ago, my 8 year old had a giant lymphnode on his neck. When blood work, chest xrays to rule out lymphoma are talked about, my whole world stopped. The waiting was the worst!!! All was/is fine for him now, but i remember each agonizing momenr just waiting and waiting. I hope you get answers soon!!!!
You, Ryan, and Chase are in my prayers. I’m sure everything will be just fine. <3 hang in there Julie!
Praying for your family Julie! I know the waiting is hard. You have lots of people thinking of you all right now!
My heart just broke a little reading this. But then I remembered that every storm comes to an end and the sunshine comes out. The unknown is the worst. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and most importantly Chase. Since Chase can’t talk yet, he lets you know everything is going to be okay with his big ole smile!
Julie, I can only imagine how scared you are right now. The waiting is the absolute worst! I hope you get answers soon and that they are all positive. Chase is just the most adorable baby and I enjoy watching him grow up. Enjoy every moment of it because it really does go by fast. My “baby” will be turning 13 in a few weeks and heading off the 7th grade this school year. Sending positive thoughts your way.
Julie, I am a longtime reader. I’ve felt especially close to you this last year+ since our firstborns were due 3 days apart. It’s been so amazing watching you go through this journey in parallel to me, and your writing has helped me in many ways over this time.
I am so sorry to hear that you are having to go through this. I’ve been thinking of you the past few days and I’m hoping that you get the good news you want.
Your situation reminds me of a quote I heard as a child that always stuck with me:
“Making the decision to have a child – it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ”
― Elizabeth Stone
While having children is such an utter joy, it is so hard sometimes to have so much of ourselves living within someone else. I hope we will hear good news with you very soon. In the meantime, take gentle care of yourself.
Although I do not know you – I have read your blog for years. Thank you for sharing your life.
I teared up reading your post today. I will pray for you and yours family.
You are so strong! I can’t imagine how hard it would be to wait on such big news and keep your mind from doing all the What Ifs. I will be praying for God to continue to give you peace and for the the health of your sweet boy!
Julie, I am following you since 2011 and I have barelly commented. I have little 5 Month old boy and since the day of his birth we have faced a lot of scary doctor doubts (which mainly turned false) and sleeples nights waiting for some results to come. There is no easy way to deal with waiting and your mama heart cannot be calm even if everybody around you tell you it will be fine. However, do trust your mama guts, hug your baby extra strong and fight! Virtual hug from Germany
Lots of prayers and well wishes for you and your sweet boy. I’m sure the waiting game is rough! I hope you are given good news soon!
Wishing you all nothing but the absolute best. You are already in the hardest part- the waiting.
Thinking of you and hoping all is ok with sweet Chase. My 14-month old failed his newborn screen and it was the scariest week waiting for results and next steps. Strength to you during the wait!
Please let us know when you get the results! We are all worried and praying everything is ok!
Keep in mind that nothing has truly changed. Regardless if the tests come back with good or bad news he is still the same boy he was a few weeks ago. You just know more information now. That’s it. My mother and I have been going through the same thing the past couple months. Keep you head up.
Waiting is so hard. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Chase.
Sending love and prayers you way! I really hope everything turns out okay! It has too!