This morning we arrived at the gym and headed straight to the treadmills where I did 15 minutes of incline walking (8.0 incline at a 4.0 pace) with 5 minutes of running thrown into the mix about halfway through for a total of 20 minutes.
After that it was on to BodyPump! The class actually started a little late today because the instructor threw up. 🙁 Apparently she took a sleeping pill last night and thinks that it totally messed with her stomach. Fortunately she felt much better after she threw up and still wanted to teach the class. What a trooper!
Post ‘Pump, I took Sadie on a 20-minute walk before heading home for breakfast.
Breakfast
Today’s breakfast was served in my winning Tupperware!
Yogurt Bowl
In the mix:
- Fage Greek yogurt
- Chia seeds
- Three different flavors of Gerber Graduate puffs (apple cinnamon, banana and sweet potato)
Stars of the Show
The Spread
I was totally feelin’ the crunchiness from the chia seeds and cereal in my yogurt bowl. Yum!
What Do You Call Your In-Laws?
Now for our interesting conversation from last night…
As you know, after work yesterday Ryan and I enjoyed dinner with my dad and one of his colleagues, Rom. About halfway through the dinner, Rom stopped conversation, turned to Ryan and said, “I have to ask you something. When did you feel comfortable calling Julie’s dad by his first name?”
He posed this question because he’s been married for more than four years and still feels funny addressing his in-laws. He made us all laugh when he said he usually just calls them “Hey!” or “Hi!”
Ryan and I thought it was really interesting because we both agreed that it’s totally awkward trying to figure out how to properly address your boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife’s parents.
Do you use their first name? Is that too casual? Does that lack respect?
Do you call them Mr. or Mrs. So-and-So? Is that too formal? Is that too stuffy?
Once you’re married, do you call them Mom or Dad? Is that just plain weird? Or does that feel right?
Both Ryan and I address our in-laws by their first names, but I’ll be 100 percent honest when I say that I still feel kind of awkward doing so! I was raised by my parents to always call adults Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So, and it’s hard for me to let go of that.
I think I started to feel more comfortable referring to Ryan’s mom by her first name when we started calling each other for various reasons because she would leave me voicemails saying “This is Diane,” which made it seem okay for me to address her this way.
Since our whole table had differing opinions on the subject last night, I am very curious to hear your take on this!
How do you address your significant other’s parents? Or, if you’re single, how did you address a past partner’s parents? Did this change when you got married (or do you think it will)?
![\"Quantcast\"/](\"//pixel.quantserve.com/pixel/p-1e3-7hOJ_U8Bg.gif\")
I’m totally on the “hey”, “hiya”, and “so & so’s Dad” bandwagon. Yeah, I’ve been married almost 4 years…. haha
Great topic! I call my boyfriend’s parents by their first names ( we’ve been together for 4 years-ish)….Both he and his brother do the same so I always felt comfortable saying it….However, I still struggle with some of my friend’s parents names. Like my best friend from kindergarten–I still call her mom Mrs. So-and-so. I guess it just depends on the person!
That’s a funny question. My dad has a great sense of humor but at the same time is very old fashioned… he insists (jokingly?) that my fiance’ call him Mr. Marshall, but my mother thinks its crazy and wants to him to call her by her first name. My man goes along with it to keep them both happy, but it’s so silly!
I guess I try to avoid addressing my in-laws by name, but if I do I usually stick with first names.
Honestly, I grew up hearing my parents refer to their in-laws by their first name. When I was engaged to Tom, his parents made it VERY clear that they wanted me to call them Mom and Dad once we got married. It is a little weird at times…and I usually still refer to them on the blog as Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law cause I think its confusing when you say Mom for both your moms 🙂
Oh my goodness…I feel like it would be so impersonal to say Mr or Mrs so and so. I was raised the same way, but once you are in a committed relationship with their child, the formality needs to go. I use first names for sure!
I love that Ryan is doing more cardio – I hate when guys say they don’t need to do it and/or don’t do it at all! 🙂
I’m single right now, but in the past I’ve called boyfriends’ parents Mr/Mrs ____… until they say “Oh, you can call me ____” then I use their first names.
I don’t call my in-laws by their first names because it makes me soooo uncomfortable – and I’ve been with my husband for NINE years.
A few years ago, I started calling them Mom and Pop [Their last name] to be respectful but still friendly – like in cards. But most of the time, I don’t call them anything.
I did call my ex boyfriend’s parents by their first name but I think that’s cuz they seemed more like friends than parents.
My dad said it took years to call my mom’s parents by their first name. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now and still call them Mr. and Mrs. when I refer to them. BUT-I’m like Ryan, when I’m around them I usually just say “hi!” It is a really weird thing to figure out.
I’m the same way! It’s hard for me to not feel disrespectful or weird calling “adults” by their first names in the beginning. When my fiance and I got engaged they finally said enough with “Mr & Mrs” …so we settled on Mama E and Papa E. It feels much more organic, and so fitting of our relationship.
I call Jason’s parents by their first names, and Jason calls my parents by their first names.
I do sometimes call Jason’s Mom “Mother (our last name)” just as a joke, but I almost always call her by her first name.
I do call Jason’s grandma “Grandma” — I’m not sure why. It just seemed right!
I love that you posted this! I am still conflicted on this even after being with my boyfriend for almost 5 and a half years! I used to refer to them as Mr. and Mrs. so and so. I would even write that on cards. I just felt weird calling them by their first names. I think it was last year or so I started calling them by their first names and they don’t seem to mind. When I speak to them I never really say their name. I usually write it in cards and whatnot. I think maybe once we get married I slowly will transition into calling them Mom and Dad.
I think I have a unique situation since there is a step-parent involved. Since James’ parents always addressed ME saying “This is Andrea,” (like you said), I felt weird saying anything other than that.
Also, James is named after his dad, so his dad is “Big James” to everyone. Therefore, Mr. and Mrs. would be way more awkward for me to use!
I can soooooooooooo relate to this! I do call my in-laws by their first names now, but only because I think they brought it up to me and before that I pretty much AVOIDED using a name to address them and did the whole “hey/hi” thing. I think my husband still does that with my parents actually, because I don’t remember him ever addressing them with their actual names. We definitely don’t call each others parents mom and dad either. The whole thing is weird and awkward and we’ve been together over 9 years, so you’d think we’d have this figured out better!
I call them by their first name was it feels a little awkward. I call his grandpa, “grandpa” though and that feels more normal than calling them mom and dad. John always used to call my dad “Mr….” until my dad gave him permission to switch.. but he calls my mom by her first name too.
You are right, very interresting question. Growing up I was taught to ALWAYS address Mr. and Mrs but felt so akward doing so with anyone. In general I always try to say Mr. & Mrs upon being introducing but normally they alwaysmake a point to say, no call me “first name”. Same thing with my in laws. I was shy about calling them by that at first so I would do the no name “hey” for a while until I felt more comfortable. Its funny how something so simple can cause so much anxiety haha but can be a definite sign of respect/disrespect for some people.
The first time I met my boyfriend’s mom she was so sweet and made it so easy. She gave me a big hug and said, “We aren’t fancy here. Call me Kathy”. Even though it took a few reminders from her to do that, it helped break the ice and I never had to wonder.
i love this! if/when i have kids, i am going to make it very clear to their significant others that they can call me by my first name. i think that would be very helpful!
I’ve always called boyfriends, or now my fiancé’s, parents by their first names. But hey, I’m from the West Coast and everyone here seems to be more laid back and less formal! I’d be more awkward to call someone by their last name.
I am totally in the “Hey you” camp, even though my boyfriend and I have been together a year and I see them often. I really like them, but I guess I am waiting for them to say, “Call me Bob” or whatever before I feel comfortable. Its silly, but I think I was raised that way also.
Side question, is there a reason why you eat Baby Cereal?? Some health benefit I don’t know about, or just great taste? LOL.
haha no i just eat it b/c i have NO control around regular cereal. about a month ago, i ate an entire box of honey nut chex in one day. it’s ridiculous!
There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to what you call your inlaws. I think it depends on their personality and yours as well as your relationship with them. I was always taught the Mr. And Mrs. Thing but when I started dating my hubby his parents always insisted on using first names. They are more of a touchy feel family and I couldn’t imagine not calling them mom and dad now that we are married. Then again they were always “mom and dad Kanatzar” to all of our friends. (our parents are like Meet the parents with my hubby’s family being the Fockers.) my dad is ex military and not so touchy feely. Kris calls my parents by their first names when talking about them but he pulls the “hey” thing too. I think he’s still to scared to call my dad anything but Mr.
I am so glad you posted this!! Since I recently got engaged, I’ve been curious if how I address my fiance’s parents will change. They introduced themselves to me using their first names when we first began dating and it wasn’t until after I was engaged to their son (3 and years later) that I felt somewhat comfortable calling them by their first names. It still weirds me out.
I had an ex-boyfriend whose parents insisted I call them by their first names upon meeting them, which cleared up what to say but still felt strange. My eldest sister’s fiance already calls my parents Mom and Dad (my sister does the same with his parents). My mother says she doesn’t care what he calls her and my dad told me he’d prefer Dr. Ourlastname.
I mostly prefer Mr. or Mrs. Lastname until they ask you to call them by their first name.
I was also raised to call people Mr. & Mrs. So and So. Before my husband and I got married I didn’t know what to call my in-laws and they never really said oh call me ‘so and so’ or anything (where as my parents are always quick to say “call me by my first name”). After we got married I just started calling them by their first names.
I do think it’s weird when people call their in-laws Mom and Dad. Maybe it’s just me but my thought process always is “you have your own Mom and Dad so call them something different”. lol!
I call them “Crazy” and “Insane”. Haha. Totally kidding (sort of).
Really, though, I’ve always called them by their first names. We’ve never been formal, just not that type of family dynamic on either side. And my husband calls my mom by her first name as well.
My husband’s grandmother on the other hand, she is called “Grandma”, even though we could definitely get away with calling her by her first name as well.
I love the “Crazy” and “Insane” 😉
Ha, love this reply too!
Hey, I definitely understand you on this one. When I first started dating my current boyfriend I was very confused about what to call his dad. (Note: his mom wasn’t in the picture much so I didn’t have to address her regularly.).
When I was talking to my boyfriend I would just simply call him “your dad,” but when when I DID get closer and did come across instances I had to talk to him I started off by calling him Mr. ______. Luckily for me he came right out and said, “Oh, don’t call me that, it’s too formal.” He said it jokingly enough that I wasn’t offended and it also opened up the gate for me to ask, “OK, so what should I call you then?” Being the jokesters they are he told me I should call him Your Highness. But then he just said to call him by his first name.
So that’s what I do on most occasions, however when it sneaks up on me and feels weird again, I just call him Your Highness and then we all enjoy a laugh 🙂
When or if we get married, I will probably call him by his first name still, but I think I’d have no problem calling him dad even though my own dad is still in the picture. I’d just have to let my daddy know he still comes first.
haha that’s cute!
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now, and we are very serious. We have known each others families for over 10 years now. This past year we started splitting holidays to spend time with each others familiy. When we first started dating, my parents told my boyfriend right away to call them by their first names, and he has been doing so ever since. Unfortunately, his parents never said the same to me. I am still calling them Mr and Mrs. My boyfriend thinks I should just start calling them by their first names, but I feel awkward to just suddenly do that. I’m sure it’s not a big deal to them, and they probably never felt the need to address it. When his mom calls me, she refers to herself as her first name. Do you have any advice? Should I just start calling them by their first names?
This is an interesting topic… when I was young (under 12 years old) I was taught to call them Mr. or Mrs. or Miss so-and-so, but then once I got a little older it really didn’t matter. I honestly think it’s ridiculous as an adult to refer to someone formally. Especially in-laws (aren’t you family now?). 🙂 I’m sorry, I just don’t see how it’s a sign of disrespect calling people their first names. I’m not talking to them negatively. Just because I’m younger than them doesn’t mean I’m a delinquent. Would someone who is say 50, have someone who is 38 call them Mr. or Mrs? 🙂
I hope this didn’t come across as rude… I mean it to be light. 🙂
Ugh… This is a very awkward subject for me. My husband’s parents were always Mr. and Mrs. until we got married and I told my husband I wouldn’t start calling them anything different until they offered (I’m a good southern lady like that). I made the mistake of assuming they would want to go by first name, so when they brought the topic up with me (b/c my husband being who he is, told them they should), I said it was up to them what they wanted to be called. They said “you can call us mom and dad”, which at the time I didn’t realize how uncomfortable I am with that because mom and dad have been my parent’s name for 30 years now and I am very close with them. It would be like starting to call my mother in law by my mom’s first name. I didn’t want to offend them, so I slipped in their first name in a few emails to see how it would go. They didn’t say anything about it, but my husband said they had noticed I wasn’t calling them mom and dad. I’m not confrontational, so I have reverted to just avoiding calling them anything. Hoping when we eventually have kids, I’ll just call them the same as the kids call them.
i can my boyfriends parents Mr. Dan and Mrs. Tina! I can’t get to the point of calling them totally by their first names so that makes me feel better!
casual but still formal in a way!
I know what you mean! I run into the same thing with adults in general. Especially if they’re my friends’ parents. I usually will start out with Mr./Mrs. So-and-so and then if they want me to call them by their first name/other name they’ll just tell me to.
Ahh! It’s always so awkward isn’t it?! I grew up like you – everyone was Mr. and Mrs. So-and-so. But when I started dating my fiance in college, his parents insisted that I called them by their first names. At first, I didn’t listen! I still called them Mr. and Mrs. until his mom finally said – I just really don’t like that. It’s been two years, Colleen. Please for the love of God, call me Joni. Now it’s not so awkward 🙂
I call Ryan’s parents by their first names and that was a no brainer because I met them before meeting him (I work with his Mom). When he met my parents, we faced that issue, though! I informed my dad that since I call his parents by their first names ryan would call them by their first names. My dad replied by saying he though he should be called “your hieness” since I’m their princess! Needless to say, we went with the first name!
I call my boyfriend’s parents their first names, as that is how they addressed themselves to me, but I know it is awkward. As for my boyfriend he said he would call my parents by Mr. & Mrs. until told otherwise. My mom corrected him and insisted he call her my her first name within their first few times meeting each other. My dad however just came around this past Christmas, when my mom insisted that Mr. so-and-so was ridiculous! Too funny. 🙂
I always start with Mr. or Mrs. and let them tell me to call them by their first name. Thinking about it, though, I think I might be kind of offended if they didn’t ask me to call them by their first name! Is that weird? Not that I don’t respect them, but as an adult, calling another adult Mr. or Mrs. when they call you by your first name seems like they’re trying to exert some power over you or something. That would make me uncomfortable.
I have never called a past BF’s parents Mom or Dad, but I think I could if we were married and I really felt like they were parents to me.
I’m glad I’m not the only one that struggles with this issue. My MIL insisted that I call her Mom. That does not seem right to me at all so I don’t call her anything. Luckily, I have a 2 year old, so I can get away with calling her “grandma” sometimes.
My parents want my husband to call them by their first names (and he does), but my MIL constantly tells my husband how she disapproves of that. I totally agree that little kids should call adults Mr. and Mrs. out of respect, but once you are an adult (maybe graduated from college?), you should be in the clear to call your in-laws by their first name.
Also raised to always address adults as Mr. and Mrs. So and So, it was akward for me NOT to do so. When I first entered the professional world, I even addressed my program manager as Mr. So… something that they still make fun of me for almost four years later 🙂
Previous to that, I totally got the attention of my in-laws using the “hey”/”hi” method… but now that I call everyone at work by their first name, it has gotten a little easier!
I’ve started calling my in-laws by their first name 2 years into dating my husband. They both called me out on it. It took some time getting use to saying Paul and Debbie! My husband on the other hand calls my parents Mr. & Mrs. to this day. I don’t think he will EVER change LOL
PS. Super jealous of your workout this AM. Every morning I wake up at 4:40 to make it to the gym by 5! I got there and waited 30 minutes and NO ONE SHOWED TO OPEN UP!! I was furious. It’s a rainy, cold day here in NY and I’m super bummed that I couldn’t even take advantage of running outside!
I’m glad I’m not the only one who questions this!
I avoid saying my in-laws’ names, honestly. I say Mr. and Mrs. First Name if I have to. It feels childish but they don’t like Mr. and Mrs. Last Name…said it makes them feel old. I don’t feel right not throwing a Mr. or Mrs. in there!
How do you start calling your in-laws by just their first names after 7 years of dating/marriage?!? HELP!
Always by the first name. We’re all adults. However, everyone refers to my grandfather by Mr. so and so. He’s ninety and he deserves that respect.
I guess technically, I call them by their first name but that usually only actually happens when I’m talking abou tthem, not to them. In that case it’s “hey” and I just leave out any name completely.
My parents told my fiance when he went to ask for my hand that they could just call them by their first names and that he never had to call them “Mom” and “Dad” since he already had his own. It was nice to get that cleared up instead of just letting the awkwardness continue.
Also, what’s with these chia seeds? I’ve been hearing a lot about them later, do I just sprinkle them onto foods for extra nutrients? How easy!
I’m not real close with my mother in-law so it’s kind of a weird relationship anyway but I call her by her first name. She refers herself as “Mom” when signing birthday cards or anything like that but if she calls and leaves voicemails she calls herself by her first name so who knows what she wants to be called. I don’t have a relationship with my mom so maybe she wants us to be close. It’s hard telling.
How is your no dessert for lent going? Hope it’s working out for you. I find when you give something up it’s hard for the first few days or maybe first week but after that it gets easier and easier to not even think about it. Thats just me.
I now call them by the first names, since they started referring to themselves by their first names. However I still don’t know what to call my roommate from college’s mom. It’s generally, “Hey!” or “Kathleen’s Mom”.
I call my in-laws by their first names because that’s how we were introduce when Nate and I started dating. It would be weird to call them mom and dad though!
That is so funny about the “hey!” “hi!” comment, because I was doing that for so long that my fiance’s mom actually said something about it to him! She said, “I don’t think Carly knows what to call us…” So embarrassing. We’ve been together for 4 years and IF I decide to address them by name (I still try to avoid it) I say Mr. and Mrs. and then a shortened version of their last name. The more I think about this, though, the more silly it seems that I don’t call them by their first names, because I’m basically as close with them as I am with my own family. Awkward topic!
My husband and I both call each others parents by their first names. I don’t think it’s weird! I think Mr. or Mrs. is weird since we’ve been together for 11 years. And mom or dad is even more weird to me!
when bf/gf with hubs, I always called his parents Mr. & Mrs. like you I grew up being taught that all adults are Mr. & Mrs. It was quite the adjust ment in college when SOME profressors asked that we call them by their first names….. I think he just said “hey!” or “hi”! hahahahah! now that we are married I call his parents by their first name but I think he feels akward doing that so he usually just says mom & dad. weird I know.
his mother told me that her husband called her parents “hey” and “hi” hahahahaha!
I’ve been married for almost 4 years and I still sometimes feel a little weird about calling my husband’s parents by their first names. I think it’s mostly because we don’t get to see them very often. We live on opposite sides of the country. When I absolutely have to address them, I do call them by their first names. It’s always awkward for me because my husband and his dad have the same name, Pierre, so.. yeah.. there’s another level of awkwardness for ya!
After David and I got married, his parents pretty much told me that it was ok for me to call them by their first name, But I definitely waited until they gave me the ok. Up until that point, it was Mr. and Mrs.
David still calls my parents Mr. and Mrs… and my mom think it’s cute. 🙂
Great topic & tough question!! I was raised to call adults Mr. & Mrs., however my boyfriend’s parents have been good friends of my parents for years (even before we were dating) so I have always used their first names as my boyfriend does with my parents, and I think we’re all comfortable with it. With my previous boyfriend, I was more comfortable with Mr. and Mrs., but his parents hated that, so I just went with the “Hey…..” and hoped they were paying attention. 😉
Great topic!!
I actually call them Mr. & Mrs. First name. But, the ‘rule’ is that once we get married it is just their first name. I sitll feel kind of weird calling them by their first name, but I guess I’ll just get used to it. I remember when I called Craig’s mom Mrs. Last name & she was like OH NO do NOT call me that…please! She said it reminded her of her students calling her. (since she was a teacher- lol!)
But my Mom insists that Craig call her Mom- which is kind of weird- & I told her she was weird 😉 Haha- just kidding! But I told him that he doesn’t have to call her Mom, as I would feel weird calling his Mom, Mom.
My brother in law calls my Mom, Mom only because both of his parents passed away when he was young, so he doesn’t have parents to call Mom & Dad, so I think it is just comfortable for him. I had to explain this to my Mom, since I told Craig is was fine to just call her by her first name.
I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 years now and we have lived together for 2 of those 4. His mom still requires me to call her Mrs. so and so. It’s a little weird, because I have spent a ton of time with her, and my mom always wants my boyfriend to call her Megan from the very beginning. Same thing with my dad.
My parents are also about 20 years younger than my bf”s so it could just be a generational thing.
Such a great conversation topic! I have been with my fiance for almost 8 years now and we are getting married in May. For the first probably 3 years I did not call them anything…… I would just use the “hi”, “hey” technique. But, now that are are so much closer and they really are my family I do call them by their first names. Im not sure if I could ever call them mom and dad because that just seems odd to me……